Sunday Tribune
2 TribuneReview
DAVID KENNY’S ERINDIPITY
Greatest artist for
landscapes
THIS week we’d like to start off with
a bit of a rant (please bear with us, it
won’t last long).
The past few days saw the return of
two of the smuggest purveyors of
smarm ever spawned by Irish politics
– Pee and Bev Flynn.
Fianna Fáil gave a new meaning to
“in like Flynn” when they readmitted
the latter, while her father was up
before Mahon talking about his
financial affairs.
Bertie Ahern’s decision to
rehabilitate libel-case loser Beverley
was one of two two-finger salutes his
party gave the country immediately
after the election last year.
The second was Dick Roche’s last-
minute sneak-through of an order to
destroy the national monument at
Lismullen on the route of the M3
through Tara/Skryne. We’ll be
returning to that later.
Is it any wonder Bev and her dad
were smiling at the launch of the
latter’s exhibition of paintings last
week? Retired Pee appears to have
recast himself as statesman-turned-
artist. With this in mind we’ve settled
on an art-meets-politics theme for
this week’s round-trip miscellany.
Before we begin, let’s have some
quick Mayo facts to show that this is
not a Dub versus Mayo thing.
Some Mayo facts
» Pee (FF) and Enda Kenny (FG) both
went to school in Castlebar and both
qualified as teachers.
» ‘Belmullet’ is named after a type of
hairstyle. Possibly one of Enda’s.
» Mayo is the holiest county in
Ireland. Why else would Our Lady
have appeared at Knock?
» Mayo has the oldest village and the
oldest tree in Ireland: Ceide Fields at
5,000 years old, which is home to a
4,300-year-old Scots Pine.
» Mayo’s pirate queen, Grace
O’Malley was the only Irishwoman
ever granted an audience with Queen
Elizabeth I.
» Mayo backwards spells Oyam.
Oyam is a region in Uganda which
gave us pompous monster, Idi Amin.
Mayo gave us Pee Flynn.
» Our granny was from Mayo (hello to
the Gannons in Foxford).
» Mayo is really, really great.
Greatest pee artist
While Pee is solely an artist in the
painting sense of the
word there are
plenty of other
types of artist
about. Let’s
deal with piss
artists first.
Ireland has
produced some
top quality
boozers. Brendan
Behan, Peter O’Toole and Richard
Harris are three that spring to mind.
All of them had something to say
about going on the batter.
Behan: “I drink to forget – but I
can’t remember what.”
O’Toole: “If drink is the answer,
what’s the question?”
Harris is the greatest of them all on
the strength of the following drinking
excuse. One day he went out to buy
milk and ended up going on a
worldwide bender. Months later
when he finally arrived home he was
greeted at the door by his silently
furious wife.
“Why didn’t you pay the ransom?”
he demanded.
On the subject of ransoms…
Luckiest victim of a con artist
Last November a 49-year-old
Clareman had to be rescued from
kidnappers in Ghana after being
lured there by an online con artist
posing as a businessman. He was held
in a hotel room for five days while
they demanded a $500,000 ransom.
During his incarceration his
Connections: Bev and abductors became quite Gaelicised,
Pee Flynn; Oyam man drinking Guinness, watching GAA
of the Year, Idi Amin; videos on his laptop and even wearing
boozer Richard Harris his GAA jerseys. Eventually they
and Charlie Haughey accepted he was broke and lowered
in the frame their demand to €12,000 from the sale
of his family car.
The Clareman then pretended to
phone home to make the
arrangements but was in fact calling
Ennis garda station. Quick as a shot
the Ennis gardaí pulled on their
bicycle clips and raced off to Ghana
where…
Okay, they just phoned the police in
Ghana and the hotel was raided. But
it wasn’t like they weren’t prepared to
cycle there. Hardy bunch, those
Ennis lads. Hupyeboyah, and all that.
Mr Clareman later admitted he
was mad to get himself into the
bizarre situation. He should count
himself lucky that his abductors were
the crappiest criminals in Africa.
Enough of the con artists, let’s have
a quick blitz of arty facts…
» Willie’s brother Jack B Yeats
produced the first cartoon strip
version of Sherlock Holmes in 1894.
» Sylvestor Stallone was one of the
first collectors of Graham Knuttel’s
work. Having played Rocky for years
it must have been a novelty to see
someone else’s face on the canvas for
a change.
» Dalkey artist Gerard Byrne was
painting the Berlin Wall as it was
David Kenny is being dismantled when he discovered
author of ‘Erindipity’ he had an unusual audience watching
and ‘Erindipity Rides him. Ronald Reagan and his
Again’ entourage were doing a photocall
directly behind him and he hadn’t
Thanks for the even noticed.
emails. » The fastest ever art heist took place
dkenny@tribune.ie at Russborough House in 2003 when
www.davekenny.com five paintings, including two Rubens,
13/04/08
were nabbed from the Beit collection
in just 50 seconds. (“What did you do
last night?” “Oh, just nipped out for a
quick Beit.”)
Enough arty facts, let’s get back to
the artists and the…
Most colourful patron of the arts
That would be the late CJ Haughey
who introduced the Artists’ Tax
Exemption Scheme.
In 1979 Charlie was supported by
The Artist Formerly Known as Pee
Flynn TD in the party leadership
contest. Twelve years later Pee threw
his lot in with Albert Reynolds and
tried to oust him, earning himself the
chop.
Speaking of chops – or more
specifically, Bacon – 16 years later a
mega-wealthy art fan broke open
their piggy bank to pay the…
Most money for an Irish work
of art
In May 2007 Francis Bacon’s ‘Study
From Innocent X’ (1962) went up for
auction in New York with a guide
price of $30m. It sold for a record-
breaking $52.6m to a phone bidder.
Isn’t ‘muc’ the Irish for pig? Where
there’s muc there’s money.
Bacon and the aforementioned
Haughey shared one thing in
common – they had their portraits
painted by Dublin art god, Louis le
Brocquy. So did Louis’ old chum,
Seamus Heaney.
In 2004 CJ’s son, Seán, was made
chairman of the Oireachtas
Environment Committee and
declared the plan to route the M3
motorway through Tara/Skyrne
“bordering on vandalism”.
Seamus Heaney said the same
thing last month.
Now, this week, his friend le
Brocquy came out and added his
name to the list of protestors.
In our opinion this makes him…
The greatest Irish artist for
landscapes
Artistic Padraig Flynn, on the other
hand, is a great man for the grand self
portrait and Bev is back in the
picture despite being sketchy.
And certain political parties will
draw the line at nothing.
Which is where we came in.