Sunday Tribune
2 TribuneReview
DAVID KENNY’S ERINDIPITY
Youngest listed
building
LAST week we revealed that
classroom bore Peig Sayers was an
English Planter. This week we reveal
Ireland’s youngest listed building.
Before that, let’s return to school for a
brief lesson in absurdity.
Five schools have been forced to
compensate property developers
after deciding to remove snack-
vending machines from their
canteens. The schools were built as
part of a Public/Private Partnership
arrangement and the developers
were given the right to install the
machines and trouser the profits
from them. When the schools decided
to encourage pupils to eat healthily,
the developers had to be paid off.
It’s all above board and legal, but
it’s insane. Developers earn huge
profits and already exert a
disproportionate amount of
influence. Influencing what the
nation’s children eat is a bit hard to
swallow.
Another example of how
developers are interfering with our
lives is the ‘Management Company’
phenomenon.
After paying a fortune for a home,
many buyers must then fork out for
the upkeep of their estate – by the
developer’s management company.
A few months back, Liveline was
swamped with calls about these
companies’ rules. On one estate,
residents weren’t allowed to put up
satellite dishes. If they did, the
‘management’ could remove them
and charge for their return.
Others complained of having only
one parking space. This wouldn’t be a
problem if new houses were still
being built with garages. They’re not
though, as the developers try to
screw every last inch of space from
the land.
These new ‘landlords’ – who
apparently owe the country’s banks
€100bn – were all over the news last
week.
In the North, Ian Paisley Senior
suffered a major blow when his
minister son was forced to resign
after being connected to a property
developer. We bet Junior wishes he
lived in a united Ireland now. If he
was a member of the Dáil, he could
have stayed put. Our disgraced
politicians NEVER resign. Leinster
[House] says ‘No!’ etc.
In Dublin, our old school, Pres
Glasthule, came into the developers’
sights after the council lost a bid to
zone its playing fields for recreational
use only. The Brothers could now
stand to make €40m from a sale of
the four-acre site, which is the area’s
last major green lung.
Dublin’s City Councillors,
meanwhile, have approved a
developer’s plans for a 15-storey
tower in Ballsbridge. The locals are
dismayed, but perhaps they should
kick off their Manolos and put on
their walking shoes like the following
people did…
Longest queue for a bath
On 18 September, 2005, Dun
Laoghaire’s residents forced the town
planners to shelve a €140m
redevelopment of their much-loved
sea baths. The council had given the
green light to developers to build an
eight-storey apartment and shopping
complex on the site.
2,500 people marched along the
famous seafront promenade and
formed a human chain in front of the
baths. The line stretched for half-a-
mile and is the Longest Queue for a
Bad week: Ian
Paisley
suffered a
blow when his
son was
forced to
resign. Main
picture: a ‘des
res’ in Wicklow
Bath ever recorded.
Speaking of seafronts and homes,
here’s one that’s ripe for development
– Ireland’s…
Most expensive bijou beach
property
How’s this sound: ‘sea on your
doorstep… unrivalled location…
mature enclosed garden…’?
Sounds pretty good, if you ignore
the rest of the brochure: ‘chemical
outdoor toilet… gas light and
cooking… mains water and electricity
nearby…’?
Neptune Cottage in Kilcoole, Co
Wicklow, is a two-room, 200 sq ft,
electricity-free, timber hut on one-
sixth of an acre. It backs onto the
Dublin/Rosslare railway line, the
noise of which should take a
prospective owner’s mind off the
howling sea storms during the winter
months.
The asking price? A bargain at
€120,000.
It’s still on the market if you fancy
it, unlike the following…
Airiest residence
Space is at a premium in south
Dublin, so €350,000 seems
reasonable for a spot in pretty
‘Erindipity Rides Sandycove. Or it would, if the spot
Again’ (Mentor, ¤15) didn’t just consist of… thin air.
is out now Last year, the owner of an access
road put the air above it up for sale.
dkenny@tribune.ie The 1,500sq ft ‘site’ runs between two
www.davekenny.com houses and doesn’t include the road
itself, which was bought for €20,000
in 2005.
24/02/08
Incredibly, someone was reported
to have bought the floating site last
June. There is no planning
permission to date, but perhaps the
new owner is designing a hover-
house.
Meanwhile, as thin air was being
turned into a potential home in one
part of Sandycove, in another, a home
was being turned into potential thin
air…
Most money paid to knock down a
house
In July of the same year, the council
issued a warning over some
improvements taking place on a
€5.3m Victorian seaside pad. When
they checked on work at the house –
which was shrouded in plastic
sheeting – most of it had been
knocked down. This contravened the
planning permission which had
allowed for only part of it to be
demolished.
The demolition of high-end
buildings is not new though.
In 1999, a developer was told to
rebuild Dublin’s listed art deco
Archer’s Garage. It had been
demolished over a bank-holiday
weekend.
In 2006, another developer was
told to rebuild a €3m house he all-but
demolished in Mount Merrion.
The latter may seem a bit extreme,
but not when you consider the
developer who was prevented from
razing a €7m house in Palmerston
Park the same year.
€7m? We wonder how much he
would have paid to destroy Ireland’s
dullest building before it became the
country’s…
Youngest listed building
As we’re typing this, we can see the
roof of the building in question. At the
venerable age of 30 years old – yes 30
– the ugly Bank of Ireland building on
Baggot Street is Dublin’s youngest
building to be given protected status.
It was listed in 2007 to stop further
development on the site. The bank
was not pleased. In a remarkable
statement, they said the building
“does not demonstrate suitable
special architectural, historical,
archaeological, artistic, cultural,
scientific, social or technical
interest”. In other words, it’s a dog of
a building.
It’s a pity it didn’t have the same
opinion in 1968 when it knocked down
all those lovely old houses to make
way for it.
Coincidentally, our dad was renting
a flat in one of them when he married
our mum.
Yours truly was born a few years
later.
And yes, they did have full family
planning permission.