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Caring Will Noris

A Short Story

by Mr Pseudonym

Will Noris was thinking about Chloe Noris again. Chloe was a cold-
blooded coward with vast elbows and fluffy eyebrows.

Will walked over to the window and reflected on his sleepy

surroundings. He had always loved beautiful Newton Abbot with its
squidgy, scandalous swamps. It was a place that encouraged his
tendency to feel stable.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the

a cold-blooded figure of Chloe Noris.

Will gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a caring,

sinister, whiskey drinker with wide elbows and fat eyebrows. His
friends saw him as a warty, wasteful writer. Once, he had even helped
a victorious old man cross the road.

But not even a caring person who had once helped a victorious old
man cross the road, was prepared for what Chloe had in store today.

The clouds danced like cooking foxes, making Will lonely. Will
grabbed a bendy banana that had been strewn nearby; he massaged
it with his fingers.

As Will stepped outside and Chloe came closer, he could see the
tense glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want a kiss," Chloe bellowed, in a thoughtful

tone. She slammed her fist against Will's chest, with the force of 7803
ostriches. "I frigging love you, Will Noris."

Will looked back, even more lonely and still fingering the bendy
banana. "Chloe, yabba Dabba Doo," he replied.

They looked at each other with stable feelings, like two few, fair
flamingos thinking at a very cold-blooded Valentine's meal, which
had drum and bass music playing in the background and two brave
uncles sleeping to the beat.

Will studied Chloe's vast elbows and fluffy eyebrows. Eventually, he

took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you a kiss," he explained,
in pitying tones.

Chloe looked cross, her body raw like a petite, panicky piano.

Will could actually hear Chloe's body shatter into 503 pieces. Then
the cold-blooded coward hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Will's nerves tonight.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Caring Will Noris
"I feel like I know Will Noris. In a way, it feels as though I've always
known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that
has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the clouds danced like cooking foxes is just the kind of
literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
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