Understanding the Self

How to know yourself (Video Clip)

MAIN POINTS:
 A fundamental wound that stops us becoming who we truly might be. We don’t quite
know who we are.
 Unsure of two things in particular: (1) we don’t have a stable sense of what we are
worth, and (2) we don’t have a secure hold on our own values or judgments.
 Trouble coping with either denigration or adulation.
 We will be helpless before the court of public opinion.
 Will always be asking other people of what we deserve before seeking inside of an
answer.
 Lacking an independent verdict; we also stand to be unnaturally hungry for external
praise.
 We need to be kind on ourselves.
 No one is born with an independent ability to know who they are.
 We learn to have an identity because, someone else take the trouble to study us with
immense fairness, attention and kindness, and then plays us back to us in a way that
makes sense and that we can later emulate.
 They give us the beginning of a true portrait of our identity which we take on and enrich
over the years and use a s a defence against the distorting verdicts from hurried or ill –
intentioned others.
 Knowing who one is, is really the legacy been known properly by someone else at the
start.
 Early identity – building tends to unfold with apparently innocuous life – saving small
steps.
 A good parent offers generous interpretations.
 A feeling of unreality is the direct consequence of emotional neglect.
 We need to seek help of a wise and kindly other person, perhaps a good psychotherapist,
who can study us closely, mirror us properly and validate what they see.
 Through their eyes, we can learn to study how we really feel and take seriously what we
actually want.
 Trusting ourselves more than we trust the crowd, feeling that we might be able to say no,
not always swaying in the wind and feeling that we are in possession of some of the
ultimate truths about us.
 Knowing ourselves:
 Little less hungry for praise
 Little less word by opposition –
 And a lot more original in our thinking.
 Learnt the vital art of knowing and befriending who we really are.
GUIDE QUESTIONS FOR RANDOM Q&A:
1. Know thyself: is it worth it?
I believe so that knowing thyself is important and worth it, be we are the ones who are in control
of our life; how and what we want it to be. Knowing thyself is like knowing how to live and
accepting who you truly are.
You are the expert of your own being and you know what’s good for you. If you know yourself
well, the opinions of other people, or the negative comments wouldn’t even matter and destroy
your confidence. With that, you’ll have a much clearer vision of your goals and properly make
decisions for your own good.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” (Lao
Tzu Quote) And “The cost of not following your heart, is spending the rest of your life wishing
you had.” (Anonymous)

2. The self is ones greatest enemy. T/F. Why?

I define an enemy as someone who hinders you from achieving your goals and dreams. And I
believe that our selves are not our greatest enemy but our greatest ally, because first and
foremost, we wish nothing but the best for us. We do things for the sake of self – improvement
and development. We do everything we can for us to get the life that we truly deserve. We only
become the enemy of ourselves if we lack the sense of discipline and self – awareness.
I believe so that we are our greatest enemy only if we lack discipline and self – awareness.
Because there are things that we know is bad or not for us, yet we still choose it. We often know
what must be done, and still not do it. We know the truth within ourselves, yet we still believe in
others. We know what we deserve, but still stay in a situation that we are not supposed to be.

3. Identify & explain 3 significant points from video.

 Will always be asking other people of what we deserve before seeking inside of an answer.
- Frankly speaking, we trust other people rather than ourselves. We often believe that they
know what is best for us, maybe because of the idea they are the ones who have
experienced what it is really like to be with us. We, most of the time, believe in what they
say, mostly negative comments about us. With that, we are not living our own lives;
rather, they are living our lives.

 No one is born with an independent ability to know who they are.

- This sentence, for me is connected with the famous quote, “no man is an island”.
Knowing ourselves is not just simply knowing it all alone; we need others also. We need
them in order for us to fully understand our personality, behaviour and character and how
to properly handle it.
 Knowing ourselves would make us: Little less hungry for praise, little less word by
opposition – And a lot more original in our thinking. Learnt the vital art of knowing and
befriending who we really are.
- Knowing ourselves well would open your eyes and let us see the clearer version of what
we truly want. Not depending on other people’s comments and just simply doing what you
think is good for you. Knowing ourselves is also acceptance of who we truly are.