This Game Sucks.

Characters: Alexis Frankie Scott Each episode begins with the three sitting on a couch, one of them playing a game.

Episode 1: L.A. Noire F, S, A ordered on couch. Frankie is playing the Xbox, Scott is playing DS, and Alexis is watching the screen. Frankie: [playing game] This game sucks.

Scott doesnt react.

Alexis: What? No it doesnt!

Frankie: Its Phoenix Wright in 3D.

Alexis: Thats a terrible argument. Good games borrow ideas all the time.

Frankie: Sure, but they borrow good things, not bad.

[Alexis raises eyebrows at Frankie in skepticism]

Frankie: [pauses game and turns so F and A are speaking across S] Okay, take the interrogation system, it isnt padded at all! All choices you make are either completely right or completely wrong.

Alexis: So? The motion capture tech alone is enough to make this an amazing game! The whole point is to be able to tell if someones lying or not.

Frankie: Yeah, but instead of reacting to the evidence I present to them, the suspect gives me some bullshit general response when Im wrong.

Alexis: So what?

Frankie: [sighs] Okay. So say youre the person Im interrogating. Cuts to F in a suit and hat interrogating A sitting at a table. A is still wearing the same clothes.

Alexis: [looking around] Im listening

Frankie: [in voice-over] And say youre a suspect to your husbands murder.

Alexis: Okay

Frankie: And say

Alexis: Wait, wait, wait How did he die?

Frankie: [still in voice-over] Uh, he was found hanging from your kids playground.

Alexis: Wouldnt that just be suici [cut off by F]

Frankie: With his arms chopped off.

Alexis: Ugh! Frankie, what the hell?!

Frankie: [still in voice-over] Just go with it.

Alexis: [exasperated] Fine. So Im being interrogated.

Frankie: [in voice-over] Right, so I ask you, [F in suit] [intense, leaning far over the table] Where were you on the night of your husbands murder!? Alexis: [jerks back] Wha?

Frankie: [in voice-over, exasperated] Just make something up.

Alexis: Oh Uh, I was Uh shoe shopping?

F slaps a piece of broccoli down on the table. Frankie: This says otherwise.

Alexis: [stares at the broccoli for a long moment] Thats broccoli.

Frankie: [in voice-over] Oh! Or even better.

F slaps a dildo down on the table. Long pause.

Alexis: What does that have to do with the murder?

Cut back to couch shot

Frankie: [now holding the broccoli in one hand and the dildo in the other] Nothing! Thats the whole point! Instead of being grossed out that Id gone to your house and found this, in the game you would just reply with something inane like [uses high-pitched voice] Oh youre just grasping at straws! and Id fail the interrogation. Its so unrealistic!

Alexis: I sound nothing like that. And, uh, where did you get that?

Frankie: Where did I get what?

Alexis: The dildo. In your hand.

Frankie: [looks as if he just realized it was there] Oh isnt it I mean I found it in [trails off]

Long silence.

Scott finally looks up from his DS and at F Scott: Whats with the dildo?

Alexis: Frankie was trying to tell us what turns him on.

Scott: [pauses, looking at the broccoli and the dildo] Oh I thought you hated vegetables?

[Cut to black]