Living In A Troubled Life

mikmws

Chapter 1

Maybe this is the fate that they talk about. Maybe this is the
consequence of everything that had happened. Maybe, this is the
only escape.

They say that we should not give up even if life throws rocks as
tall as a mountain at us. They say that it’s only a test to
measure our strengths, that we will be able to survive all these
hardships, and we’ll become stronger in the end.

At least that’s what they say and believe.

Their beliefs are different from mine. Yes, the tests are tough,
but I think they especially made my test tougher than anybody
else. I am not some kind of magician or any wrestler to be
physically tough and mentally smart.

I am just a weak human. A human who only knows how to give up. A
human who doesn't even know how to fight. Specifically, a girl
who doesn’t know how to let her voice be heard. A girl who has
been pretending most of her life. A girl, who doesn’t even know
if her life is still worth it.

But, it’ll be put to an end. It MUST be put to an end.

This is the only way I know to escape. To escape everything.

----------
"Hey, Pree! Get your ass off of that couch! Clean up that mess!"

"Yes auntie"

My butt hasn’t even properly touched the couch when my aunt

called me to clean another mess. When I looked at the place she
just pointed, I frowned. I already cleaned that area, for
heaven’s sake! I don’t even know where and what to clean since
there is no single dirt to be found. Maybe this is her way of
telling me I’m not allowed to sit on the couch?

Anyway, I pretended to clean anything just so I wouldn’t be

called out by my aunt again. I was just finished cleaning
everything, literally everything! I was about to sit so that I
could rest since I stood up for my entire cleaning time. Although
I keep myself hydrated, there is nothing compared to sitting and
relaxing all your muscles after tiring yourself from cleaning the
house you didn’t even dirty. Aunt surely hates seeing me relaxing
even just for a split second.

“Hey, Pree?”

I looked at the voice behind me only to see my cousin, Aria,

holding a paper. ‘Oh, great. Another assignment to do to cover
her.’ I looked at her enthusiastically to avoid misinterpreting
my emotions. Although I already mastered the art of putting a
poker face in front of them all the time.

“Yes, Aria? You need something”

“I have a favor for you. And this specifically needs only you”

‘Specifically needs only you my ass.’ She doesn’t have to say

such words if she doesn’t mean it. I mean I practically know that
she only calls me whenever she wants me to do something for her,
especially when it comes to academic papers.

“I was out of words for this essay and the day after tomorrow is
the submission for this output. You’ll lend me a hand, right?”
she said, emphasizing the last words, letting me know that she
will not accept any rejection from me to do her essay.

“But I was not yet done cleaning and your mom has another chore
for me to do after this”

‘Hopefully, my excuse would be bought, please.’I prayed silently.

But then, she doesn’t accept excuses as an answer.

“Essay is just a piece of cake to you, Pree. Don’t tell me you’re

going to decline my favor?”

“It’s not that I’m going to decline it,” I said while looking
down but deep inside me, I was screaming ‘Well, yes! I decline!’
“But can’t you do it yourself?” I added, looking up to meet her
intimidating gaze.

“I do. But I am going out”

“Where are you going?”

With my question, she suddenly looked fierce, as if I asked

something that I shouldn’t have.

“You shouldn’t act like a big sister to me when you’re not my

sister. Know your place at this house. Got that?”

“But I was just—“

“Just what?” Aria intruded. She forcefully handed me her paper
before heading towards the door. “I’m counting on you, Pree.
Don’t disappoint me and make the essay the one that will satisfy
my teacher,” she added before leaving the house. After that, I
was dumbfounded by what happened.

Why can’t she just accept that I did not want to do the essay?

I took a deep breath and tried to sit for a while, but since luck
doesn’t favor me with everything, my aunt saw me in that
situation.

“You useless brat, you’re still not cleaning!”

I flinched upon hearing aunt’s voice and frantically stood up and

started pretending to clean.

----------

Another day, another class day. This means that I will be

pretending that I am not hearing any single thing that every
student here is talking about that is related to me.

Not to brag, but I am quite popular in this university I am

attending. Of course, it isn’t something to be proud of in my
case, since I got famous for being an orphan, a pushover, and a
maid. Although I like it better if they’ll term it as ‘helper’.
Most of the students, no, ALL of the students here in the
university do not welcome me as one of the students. Well, I’m
already used to it since I’ve been bullied during my younger
years also.
Upon entering the school premises, I noticed how I’m slowly
gaining the attention of the nearby students while they start
whispering to each other.

Whispers such as “she’s here”, “she showed up”, and “she’ll still
attend classes” were all I could hear of. Many of them tend to
whisper as soft as they could while some… maybe they intend to
let me hear whatever they wanted to tell me? Well, whatever it
is, I only could care less.

Many students believe that I am just as stupid as a 5-year-old

youngster who doesn’t know how to identify the intent of the
people surrounding me.

It doesn’t matter to me though, as long as I’m able to do what

they want me to do then it’s fine with me.

I’m an orphan. My mother died after giving birth to me, while my

father died when I was 5 due to a plane crash. My father’s
sister, my aunt, is the one who took me in her care since I have
no other relatives aside from her. However, she wasn’t happy when
she took me because she believed that I’m a bad omen. I have
three cousins, Toper, the eldest, Oxus, the second eldest, and
Aria, the youngest. Oxus and I are close to each other, I got
along well with Toper, but with Aria, we used to be close, just
like with Oxus, but ever since I live with them, she became
distant and for an unknown reason, she started spreading rumors
about me. The rumors affected my relationships with my
schoolmates, hence the bullies and whispers I received every
time.

I sat on a nearby bench to ward off my thoughts while waiting for

the bell to ring, indicating that classes are about to start.
Usually, I arrive earlier than my scheduled time in class because
obviously, I wanted to escape my everyday chores in the house.
Not because I hate it, believe me, I love the idea of cleaning,
but with my aunt’s supervision, it’s like I don’t clean enough
that she wanted me to clean the entire house repeatedly.
“Penny for your thoughts?”

I automatically looked up to the owner of the voice that just

spoke. Upon seeing his face, my day already brightened, and I
smiled as he sat beside me and started enveloping me in a hug.

It’s been two weeks since we haven’t seen each other at the
university. We were both busy with our academic requirements and
since we belong to different college departments, our schedules
usually don’t match up.

He’s Yvan, my boyfriend for a year and a month. With all the
unfortunate events that had happened to me, having Yvan with me
are my most treasured moment and the best decision I had.

“Yvan! It’s so good to see you! God, I missed you so much!” I

said as I was hugging him. I buried my face on his broad
shoulders and his scent itself gave me comfort, enough to brush
off my thoughts temporarily.

“You surely did miss me, Pree. As much as I want to snuggle you,
I wanted to remind you that we’re on campus. You don’t want to be
reported for displaying public affection, right?” Yvan said as he
returns my hug.

I looked up to him and gave him my cutest pleading expression but

it wasn’t effective. He smiled and kissed my forehead before
leading me back to the bench where we both sat beside each other.

He intertwined his hands with mine while I leaned on his

shoulder. Moments like this bring courage to me. If only we could
do this all the time.
“You were clouded by your thoughts awhile ago. Something
bothering you?” he asked. Since he knows my situation, there’s no
reason for me to keep it a secret.

I sighed.

“I was thinking about Aria’s essay,” I answered, receiving a

frown from him.

“She forced you to do her essay again?” he asked, sounding so

pissed. I gave him a sad smile, confirming his query.

“When will that girl learn how to be independent? She’s such a

spoiled brat! If only I could strangle her with all the essays
you made for her!” he exclaimed.

I laughed at how he plans to use all the essays I made to

strangle Aria. Just imagining it makes me giggle more because
it’s fun to watch what the results would be.

While laughing, I could feel the gaze that Yvan’s giving me which
made me feel awkward so I stopped laughing and looked at him
shyly.

“You know I feel embarrassed when you stare at me,” I said. He

just shrugged and continued to stare at me.

“You know, I feel lucky that I get to witness your smile and
laughter. I wanted to tell you that you should do it more often
but I also don’t want many people to see that. So please,
whenever you’re with me, I wanted to see you smile and laugh like
that, Pree,” Yvan said.

I couldn’t help but blush.

‘Damn you, Yvan, for saying that straightforwardly.’