28 August 2022 07:36

How to change your life?

You can change any time. You just choose not to.
If you think that your past determines your present, you end up with determinism;
your future has already been decided by your past. In "Adlerian psychology", we
don’t think about past causes, but rather about present goals. Your past doesn’t
determine your present, but rather it is the meaning that you attribute to your
past.
You are unable to change only because you are making the decision not to. You
probably think it’s easier to leave things as they are. If you stay like this, you can
respond to events as they occur, and you can guess the results. It’s like driving
your old but familiar car. It might rattle a bit, but you can take that into account
and maneuver easily. But if you choose a new lifestyle, no one can predict what
might happen to your new self or have any idea how to deal with events as they
arise. It will be hard to see ahead to the future, and your life might be painful and
filled with anxiety. So you choose not to change.
You are choosing not to fulfill your dreams. You don’t commit to anything
because you want to leave the possibility open of "I can do it if I can try." You
don’t want to expose your work to criticism and you don’t want to produce
inferior work and face rejection.
Courage is the solution.
You fabricate emotions.
The waiter spilled coffee on your jacket, so you yelled at him. If you really
can’t control your emotions and anger, would stabbing him by a knife be ok?
What really happened is that you fabricated anger and shouted to make him
submit to you.
You might be familiar with this: A mother is angrily yelling at her daughter. The
phone rings, so she picks it up and changes her tone and becomes very polite,
then when she hangs up, she goes back to yelling again! We fabricate
emotions to reach our goals.
A student complains that she has a fear of blushing. She turns red whenever
she’s in public. She has feelings for someone, but can’t confess because she has
this fear. In reality: she fears rejection, so she fabricated that fear of blushing as
an excuse to not confess her feelings. She can live in the possibility that "If
only I didn’t have that fear of blushing, I could’ve."
The solution: Accept yourself now, and regardless of the outcome, have
the courage to step forward.
You use trauma is an excuse.
We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to past
experiences. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences. We instead
make out of them whatever suits our purposes.
Usual way: John was traumatized as a child, so he shut himself in and doesn’t
go outside.
Adlerian way: John has the goal of not going out, so he’s manufacturing a state
of anxiety and fear to achieve that goal. He thinks to himself: “If I stay in my room
all the time, my parents will be worried about me. I’ll get all of their attention.”
You use feelings of inferiority as an excuse.
Feelings of inferiority are subjective interpretations rather than objective facts.
You can see being shorter than average as inferior, or as superior for not being
intimidating and getting other people to relax.
There is one good thing about subjectivity: It allows you to make your
own choice. View anything as an advantage or disadvantage. We cannot alter
objective facts, but we can alter interpretations as much as you like.
People enter the world as helpless beings, and they have a universal desire to
escape from that helpless state. This is called the pursuit of

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escape from that helpless state. This is called the pursuit of
superiority. Feelings of inferiority, if not used in a wrong way, can be a
good stimulant for growth.
However, there are people who lose the courage to take steps forward, and
cannot accept the fact that the situation can be changed by making realistic
efforts, and before doing anything, they simply give up and say "I’m not good
enough anyway" or "even if I tried, I wouldn’t stand a chance." This is called
an inferiority complex. Using feelings of inferiority as an excuse for not doing.
Thinking: "I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed" or "I’m not good looking, so I
can’t get in a relationship."
There are also people who have a superiority complex. They act as if they’re
superior and indulge in a fabricated feeling of superiority. Boast about past
achievements and recount memories. Sometimes, inferiority & superiority
complexes are combined, which leads to bragging about one’s
misfortunes. They make themselves “special” by the way of their experience of
misfortune. As long as one uses misfortune to be “special,” they’ll
always need that misfortune.
How to achieve real happiness?
Adlerian psychology is a psychology of changing oneself, not a psychology for
changing others. Instead of waiting for others to change, you take the first step
forward yourself.
Life is not a competition.
The pursuit of superiority is the mindset of taking a single step forward on you
own feet. Not the mindset of competition to aim to be greater than other people.
A healthy feeling of inferiority doesn’t come from comparing oneself to others; but
from one’s comparison with their ideal self.
The reason many people aren’t happy while they’re building up their success in
the eyes of society is that they’re living in competition. If you think of
interpersonal relationships as competition, you percieve other people’s hapiness
as “my defeat,” and you can’t celebrate it. When you’re able to feel “people are
my comrades,” your way of looking at the world will change.
Deny the desire for recognition.
Wishing so hard to be recognized will lead to a life of following
expectations held by other people who want you to be “this kind of person.” You
throw away who you really are and live other people’s lives. Therefore, you
should deny your desire for recognition. You’re not living to satisfy other
people’s expectations, and other people aren’t living to satisfy your expectations.
The cost of freedom in relationships is that one can be disliked by other people.
It is proof that you are free, and a sign that you’re living in accordance with your
own principles.
Unless you’re unconcerned by other people’s judgments and have no fear of
being disliked by other people, and pay the cost that you might never be
recognized, you will never follow through in you own way of living. You won’t ever
be free.
There may be a person who doesn’t think well of you, but that’s not your task.
All you can do with regard to your own life is to choose the best path that you
believe in. How do people judge that? That’s the task of other people, and it’s
not a matter you can do anything about.
Discard other people’s tasks.
We need to think with the perspective of “whose task is this?” and separate our
own tasks from other people’s tasks. This is called separation of tasks. You
should not worry about or intrude on other people’s tasks. For example, studying
at school is the child’s task, not the parent. The task owner is the one will
ultimately recieve the result brought about by the choice. Parents use the
phrase “it’s for your own good,” when in reality they’re doing so in order to fulfill
their own goals, like their appearance in the eyes of society and their desire for
control. Parents should be interested in knowing what the child is doing, and
letting the child know that they’re ready to assist in studying. But

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 letting the child know that they’re ready to assist in studying. But
they shouldn’t intrude on the child’s task.
Discarding other people’s tasks is the first step toward lighteneing the load and
making life simpler.
You hold the cards of your interpersonal relationships.
Many people think that relationship cards are held by the other person. That’s
why they wonder "How does that person feel about me?" And end up living in a
way that satisfies the wishes of other people. If you’re tied to the desire for
recognition, all the cards will stay in the hands of other people. If you can grasp
the separation of tasks, you will notice that you hold all the cards.
Build horizontal relationships: Don’t condemn or praise.
When you praise, you’re unconsciously creating a hierarchical relationship and
seeing the other person as beneath you. As if you’re passing a judgment from
one person of ability to another person of no ability. You can convey words of
gratitude instead. Saying thank you to this partner who has helped you with your
work. “This was a big help”. If recieving praise is what you’re after, you’ll have no
choice but to adapt to that person’s yardstick and put your breaks on your own
freedom. “Thank you,” on the other hand, is a clear expression of gratitude.
How to get a feeling of community?
The goal of interpersonal relationships is a feeling of community. This
sense of others as comrades. To get that feeling, you should make the switch
from self-interest to concern for others. People who are obsessed with desire
for recognition will seem to be looking at other people, while
they’re actually looking only at themselves. They want to be thought well of by
others, and that’s why they worry about the way they look at them. That’s
nothing but self-centered. They always think in terms of "What will this person
give me?" This expectation isn’t going to be satisfied on every occassion, so they
consequently feel resentful and think "That person let me down. That person isn’t
my comrade anymore." Self-centered people always end up losing their
comrades.
You can get a feeling of community by making an active commitment to the
community. Take steps forward and don’t avoid the tasks of work, friendship and
love relationships. Don’t think in terms of "What will this person give me?" But
rather, "What can I give to this person?"
When one can feel “I am beneficial to the community,” then you can have a true
sense of one’s worth. The feeling that I am of use to someone.
“Happiness is the feeling of contribution.”
Also don’t limit yourself to one community. If you think of schools as everything
to you, you’ll end up without a sense of belonging to anything. There is a larger
world that extends far beyond any community. And everyone of us is
a member of that world. Living in fear of one’s relationships falling apart is
an unfree way to live. Do not cling to the small community right in front of you.
There will be always more and larger communities that exist.
Three things are needed: self-acceptance, confidence in others, contribution
to others.
1. Self acceptance: The goal is accept yourself 60 percent, and think "How should
I go about getting closer to 100 percent?" You cannot change what you’re born
with, but what you do with this equipment is your own power. Focus on what you
can change.
2. Confidence in others: When you switch from attachment to self to concern for
others, Confidence in others becomes absolutely essential. If you don’t have
objective grounds for trusting someone, you should believe without concerning
yourself with things such as security. Unconditional confidence is the foundation
of any deep relationship.
3. Contribution to others: The most easily understood contribution to others is
work. It is through labor that one makes contribution to others and commit to
one’s community. One can feel “I am of use to someone,” and come to accept

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one’s community. One can feel “I am of use to someone,” and come to accept
one’s existential worth. This helps in self-acceptance again, and you can see
that it is a circular loop.
The courage to be normal.
Whether they are trying to be especially good or especially bad, the goal is the
same: to attract the attention of other people. Get out the “normal” condition
and become a “special being.” Why is it necessary to be special? Probably
because one cannot accept one’s normal self. If life is climbing a mountain in
order to reach the top, then all your life would end up being “en route.” Suppose
you didn’t make it to the mountaintop, what would that mean for your life? People
who think this way are treating their existence as a line. Instead you should think
of life a series of dots. A series of moments called “now.” We live only in the
here and now. Live life as if you are dancing. Among those who danced this
dance of violin, there are people who became professional musicians. Among
people who danced the dance of writing, some became authors. And some
people ended up in entirely different places. But none of these lives came to an
end “en route” It is enough if you find fulfillment in the here and now one is
dancing. Dancing itself is the goal, you shouldn’t be concerned with arriving
somewhere by doing it. You can arrive somewhere as a result of dancing, but
there is no particular destination. The goal of mountain-climbing is the climbing
itself, not getting at the top.
Life is a series of moments, and neither the past nor the future exists. Live in the
here and now. Don’t concern yourself with the past or the future.
From <https://sipreads.com/the-courage-to-be-disliked/>
The Courage To Be Disliked written by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi is a dialogue between a youth and a
philosopher about Adler’s psychology and popular philosophy.
The philosophy we hear in most places is based on often Freud’s ideas which are quite popular even today.
But Adler’s ideas are not so popular as they often clash with conventional views.
This book summary will help you figure out how to deal with traumas and be free from other people’s expectations.
You will also learn a few things about how our emotions work and how much power they have over us if we don’t have
courage.

Lesson #1: It Takes Courage To See The World Without Any Filter.

The world we live in seems so complex, doesn’t it?

But what if I tell you that it’s simple.
You won’t believe me, right?
After all, how could the world be a simple place with so many complexities?
It’s highly dynamic, and every time we turn on the news channel, we see so much drama that it feels chaotic.
As a result, life feels so complicated.
But if you look at it carefully, it’s not the world that is complicated. It’s actually the opposite.
The world is simple. But human beings are complicated.
So whatever we see or indulge in becomes complicated.
Every person sees the world with a different filter. That’s where complexities arise.
It’s hard to share your perspective with every other person.
Many contradictions exist between “what we see” and “what the other people see.”
The surprising thing is: Reality gets distorted when we look through filters.
These filters are born due to our previous experiences and future expectations.
We hardly look at reality without biases.
But don’t worry, there is still hope.
We all can change for good, don’t we?
Unfortunately, it requires a great deal of courage.
One has to let go of pre-existing beliefs to see the reality as it is.
When you avoid change and stick to your rigid beliefs, you stop yourself from attaining happiness.
You have two choices: Either you can keep complaining about how twisted the reality is, or you can simply let go of
your expectations and accept the truth.
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your expectations and accept the truth.
The former introduces complications into your life, while the latter helps you eliminate them.
Note the word “courage” here.
We all know its meaning. But do we practice it in real life?
Are we ready to let go of all those things stopping us from achieving true freedom and happiness?
The book shares many ideas from Greek philosophy and Adlerian psychology that helps us tackle these issues.

Keep reading to learn more.

Lesson #2: Change Is Simple When You Break Free From The Cycle Of Cause And Effect.

Before we discuss happiness, let’s try to understand why we become sad and worried in the first place.
Almost all of us are controlled by our pasts.
We all hold some kind of bad memories that haunt us even today.
Maybe you had a bad relationship with your parents. Perhaps you were bullied at school.

Maybe you were not good at your studies, and nobody believed in you.
Maybe you grew up with no friends.
It could be anything. It could even be a small memory.
The point is: There is always something in our memories that holds us back even today.
Despite how much we discuss it, we can’t find a way to eliminate them, right?
Because if we could, we would have done that already. And there would be no point in reading this book summary.
But Adlerian psychology argues that traumas don’t exist.
Adler said that we create those emotions to avoid the real issues.
The book shares the story of a spoilt brat who wouldn’t go out of his home because his parents abused him during his
early teenage years.
You might think that it’s because his parents were abusive that the kid turned out to be like that.
But that’s not true according to Adler’s psychology.
His current situation was not a result of his past experiences.
That’s the fundamental idea behind Adler’s psychology: most people create their own unhappiness, and no bad
experience can influence their future.
In other words, one can always change his present.
Your past can’t control you like that.

We can break the cycle of cause and effect using our will.
The kid we talked about has a goal not to go outside anymore as he is not comfortable with others. And he is using his
bad experiences as an excuse to avoid that uncomfortable situation.
You can also say that the kid doesn’t dare to face the unknown.
Every time he thinks about going outside, he lies to himself and thinks about how his parents abused him.
The key to fighting any kind of trauma is to see how we are hiding behind our bad memories and avoiding reality.
Remember that change is simple. It is “us” who make it complicated.
Let’s take another example to understand this idea better.
Lesson #3: Anger Is A Tool That People Use To Take Revenge.

Anger.
We all know it, don’t we?
As soon as we get angry, there is no controlling us.

That sudden burst of energy is uncontrollable, right?

Wrong!
Adler argued that emotions don’t have the power to control. Instead, we can resist them.
Then why do we speak as if all emotions are out there to get us?
The thing is: We all have goals that we want to achieve.
For instance, what if a waiter spills the tea on your shirt? What would you do in that case?

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For instance, what if a waiter spills the tea on your shirt? What would you do in that case?
Most people who believe that they can’t control their anger would suddenly start shouting at that person. And then
justify that their anger took them over.
But this is not true.
They wanted to let out their frustration and cool it down by shouting at the person who made a mistake.
Instead, they could let go of their momentary anger and say, “It could happen with anyone else.”
Most people use their emotions to achieve their hidden goals and then put the blame on emotions.
This doesn’t mean that emotions have no power. They are powerful. Indeed.
But they are not above us.
We can resist our emotions and choose whether to act based on them or not.
Anger can be helpful too.

But unfortunately, most people sought to take revenge in the name of anger.
Remember that you are a human being. You are not a powerless stone that anybody can toss around.
You have the power to choose what meaning you assign to your emotions and respond based on your intelligence.
Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example.
Imagine if your boss spilled the same tea on your shirt instead of a waiter. Would you still go into that rage mode?
I doubt so.
Unless you don’t love your job, you would humbly ignore that incident and show modesty.
Lesson #4: “All Problems Are Interpersonal Relationship Problems,” According To Adler’s Psychology.

What if the world didn’t have any problems? It’d be amazing, right?
But it’s impossible.
The reason is: For such a condition to be true, there should be only one human being in the universe, says Adler.

Yes, if you were all alone, there would be no problems.

You wouldn’t need to compete with anyone. You would be the ruler of the universe.
There would be no spouse to fight with or no kids to take care of.
There would be no rules to follow.
But as soon as there is more than one individual, problems arise.

And realistically, that is not going to happen anyway.

The key idea here is that all problems are, one way or the other, interpersonal relationship problems.
This includes two things: Your relationship with yourself and with others.
If either one of these is not correct, you are bound to get complications in your life.
If you see every other person as your competition, you will always keep struggling and will never be able to build great
interpersonal relationships.

The very first step here is to figure out your identity.

How do you see yourself?
If you see yourself above others, you will have a superiority complex. On the other hand, you will have an inferiority
complex if you see everyone else above yourself.
Both are not good if you want to have happiness in your life.
Lesson #5: Inferiority Complex Is An Excuse For Not Taking Responsibility.

First of all, both inferiority and superiority complexes are normal.

If you have any one of them, don’t feel guilty about it. Everybody has those feelings.
It’s a part of being a human being.
The problem is: Most people don’t know how to manage them properly.
If you feel inferior to someone, it only means that a part of you wants you to grow.
It boils down to your viewpoint.
If you keep feeling inferior and use it as an excuse, you won’t be able to grow.
But if you use it as a stimulant for growth, you will outclass your present self.

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 But if you use it as a stimulant for growth, you will outclass your present self.
The book consists of dialogues between a youth and a philosopher.
The philosopher explains that it’s healthy as long as you compare yourself with your ideal self.
But as soon as you start comparing yourself with every 2nd person, you would fall into one of those complexes, which
is not healthy at all.

It takes away your happiness.

Remember that since you are a human being, your fundamental responsibility is:
• To reach your highest potential.
• To become your ideal self.
• To become the person you always wanted to be when you were a kid.
But when you fall into the comparison trap, you waste your energy satisfying other people’s expectations and mold
yourself according to other people’s worldviews.
Ever thought about why most people do the latter?
That’s because it requires a lot of courage to become your ideal self. You have to overcome a lot of hurdles along the
way.

On the flip side, it’s easy to feel superior by calling a person inferior and competing for irrelevant milestones unrelated
to your ideal self.
Again, you have a choice: you can either use those inferiority feelings to fuel your growth or waste time living your life
as per other people’s opinions.
Lesson #6: See People As Your Comrades, Not Your Enemies.

This comparison mindset needs to change.

Why? Because it makes you feel as if every other person is your enemy.
You just can’t focus on self-growth when you have your mind filled with jealousy.

The trick here is to shift your mindset from win-lose to win-win.

This is the same idea that Stephen Covey discussed in The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.
What’s the point of winning if only you win and everybody else around you loses?
With who will you share your victory then?
Sadly, most people live as if they are running a race. But in reality, we all have to race with ourselves without
competing with others.

This would help you get free of worries, and every milestone you will achieve would give you immense happiness.
Look, you can only manage your thoughts.
The reality is that even if you don’t compete with anyone, other people will find ways to compete with you.
You will find many people who would hold a grudge against you for random reasons.
You might even want to take revenge. But beware, don’t fall into that trap.
Revenge is only going to make things worse.
The key, in that case, would be to figure out the hidden goal of that person.
An intelligent person would avoid any direct conflict. That’s because even if you win a power struggle, that person
won’t stop having revengeful thoughts.
The immediate thought would be to win and teach that person a lesson. But remember, you can make wise choices.
You can always resist your emotions and think properly.

Sure, one can always use anger as a tool and then justify that his emotions took over him, but as we now know, it’s not
worth it.
Seeing people as your comrades also helps you better your interpersonal relationships.
But improving your interpersonal relationships doesn’t mean that you blindly start fulfilling everybody’s expectations.
Sometimes, you have to allow the other person to dislike you for your own good.
Let’s learn about it in the next lesson.
Lesson #7: Have The Courage To Be Disliked If You Want Absolute Freedom From Other People’s Judgments.

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Lesson #7: Have The Courage To Be Disliked If You Want Absolute Freedom From Other People’s Judgments.

Absolute freedom comes when you can live your life based on your terms, free from other people’s expectations.
But often, when we discuss interpersonal relationships, there is a conflict between the expectations.
You might find your close friends or relatives disliking you if you don’t do what they expect of you.
Even if you try to satisfy everybody else, you will have to sacrifice your own choices. And unfortunately, even then, you
might have a few left who won’t be satisfied.
So what should one do in such a complicated situation?
The solution here is to draw or define a boundary between you and the other person.
If the other person has unrealistic expectations from you, you don’t have to change yourself. That’s not your task.
You can’t control what other people think anyway.
But does this mean you don’t have to care what other people think and become egocentric? Not at all.
Separating yourself from other people’s expectations doesn’t mean you don’t care.
It’s the other way round.
If someone is trying to manipulate you through his expectations or emotional drama, that is egocentric.
Keep in mind that the other person can only manipulate you if you don’t have control over your emotions.
In that case, you need the courage to be disliked and not be manipulated by your emotions.
People are going to judge anyway.
You can’t satisfy everybody’s expectations, can you?
It’s not your fault if someone dislikes you or misunderstands you because you didn’t meet their expectations.
On the surface, this might look like a scary recipe to push people away from you. But it’s not.
People who aren’t disappointed by your freedom are worth building relationships with. And those who aren’t need to
change their outlook on life.
Good relationships don’t bind people through emotional dramas or conflicts. Instead, they make you freer.

Lesson #8: Both Praise And Punishment Develop A Sense Of Hierarchy Within Relationships.

Talking about good relationships, we think the other person would feel motivated if praised.
But that’s not the reality.
When you praise the other person, you subconsciously make him feel inferior.
For instance, if you reward the dog for doing a specific task during dog training, it will do it again.
But if you punish the dog for the same thing, the dog is likely to avoid doing it again.
One might call this dog training, but it also rewires a dog’s brain and establishes a sense of hierarchy, doesn’t it?
In the same fashion, if you praise or punish someone, you call yourself superior and signal to the other person that he
is inferior.
So what should a person do?
Nothing.
Or maybe you can just say “Thank You.”

By doing this, you would treat another person as your equal.

And it’s based on our nature as human beings are not fundamentally different from each other.
Some parents aggressively order their kids to the things in a certain way that they feel is right based on their worldview
or outlook on life.
This develops a sense of hierarchy within the child.
It signals that a child must always try to make his parents happy, even if it comes at the cost of his happiness.

This is very subtle, but it might turn into an inferiority complex if not noticed early.
And that’s not it. The relationships we develop at home also impact how we think about interpersonal relationships
with people who are not related to us or belong to other communities.
Remember, we all are equal.
Remember that no race, religion, or ideology can change this fact.
This is also the key to solving all problems within interpersonal relationships.
If you see this in a larger context, we can solve all the world’s problems if we simply treat each other as equals
fundamentally.

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fundamentally.
Lesson #9: To Have A True Sense Of Your Worth, Contribute To The Community.

Do you know why some people have inflated egos?

That’s because they have an inferiority complex.
The root cause of the inferiority complex is not knowing one’s self-worth.
When you don’t know your true worth, you constantly fear that other people might outshine you or grab more
opportunities than you.
Or sometimes, people have inflated egos because they think they are more deserving than others.
Both are not true.
Nobody is superior. And nobody is inferior.
In fact, such a complex is dangerous.
Adler has a got a solution for such people.
Adler says that we all are a part of the larger community.
The exciting part is that he doesn’t just talk about communities formed around common interests or regions.
He goes broader than that.
Adler believes that there is one more extensive community of human beings where no person is the center.
This philosophy goes against selfish people who think they are superior.
Does this mean that nobody has any worth?
It’s the opposite. Adler means that every human being has equal worth.
Every person can contribute to this larger global community in some way.
You can’t give something from nothing, right?
So when you give or contribute anything to the community, you feel a sense of worth.

That worth doesn’t inflate your ego. Instead, it highlights your true nature.
It gives you freedom and happiness.
Lesson #10: You Can Be Of Worth By Simply Being With Others.

When we think about “worth,” the first thing that comes to our minds is “Net Worth.”
Right?
Wrong. No, a person’s worth is not always calculated by how much money he has.
What if a person is financially poor and can’t help anybody? Will he still have worth?
Yes, definitely.
As we discussed, a person’s worth can be due to many reasons.
For instance, older adults who can’t provide anything also have worth as they can provide emotional support or
knowledge to the young ones.
Their presence itself has a worth that they can provide to the other person.

Judging a person based on money is a limited way of seeing life.

Remember that life is more significant than money.

The Courage To Be Disliked Quotes

Here are some of my favorite quotes from this book:

“Adlerian psychology is a psychology for changing oneself, not a psychology for changing others. Instead of waiting
others to change or waiting for the situation to change, you take the first step forward yourself.”
The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
“When one is conscious of competition and victory and defeat, it is inevitable that feelings of inferiority will arise.”
The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi

The Courage To Be Disliked Review

SALE

book summary 2 Page 9

 SALE

The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your
Life and Achieve Real Happiness
 Hardcover Book
 Kishimi, Ichiro (Author)
 English (Publication Language)
 288 Pages - 05/08/2018 (Publication Date) - Atria Books (Publisher)
Check price on Amazon
Last update on 2022-04-19 / Affiliate links / Images from Amazon
I saw many comments on Amazon telling me how bad this book is. But I disagree.
I learned a lot of cool new ideas from this book.
The idea that traumas don’t exist and that we create all those stomach cramps to avoid our real responsibilities was
life-changing.
I could see how often I make excuses to avoid doing the real thing in my life.
For instance, whenever I go outside, I start feeling butterflies in my stomach. Why? Because earlier, I believed that I had
a weak digestive system.
Has the problem been solved now?
Well, not a hundred percent. But now, I know that the past can’t control me anymore. The present can be changed.
This book has provided me with some courage to deal with psychological issues and fears.
Through this book, I could also break through some of my notions of cause and effect.
If you want to take away only one lesson from this book, just remember that no matter how broken your life may be
right now, you have the power to fix it. You just need some courage to do so.
I don’t have anything to criticize this book for. And I highly recommend this book to everyone to read at least once.

Who Is This Book For?

• Philosophers who want to dig deeper and investigate the ideas of Adler, Socrates, and Freud.
• People are troubled by their past traumas.
• People who have had any bad relationships in the past.
• Those who are not able to resist emotions like anger or greed.
• Students who are interested in exploring new ideas.

From <https://wizbuskout.com/the-courage-to-be-disliked-summary/>

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