QUOTES TO LIVE BY 1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. 2.

) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. 3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE. 4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler 5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? 6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'? 7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? 8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton 9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown 10.) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Unknown 11.) Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Unknown 12.) He who laughs last didn't get it. Unknown 13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster. 14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney! 15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! 16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. 17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. 18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head 19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." 20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. 21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder 23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... 24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. 25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public 26.) Guns don't kill people. I do. 27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. 28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. 29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either. 30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. 31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS 32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. 33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. 34.) Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship. 35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. 36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet 37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. 38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have 39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal. 40.) Did you just call me a bch? Because a bch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. 41.) So, you're a cannibal. 42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. 43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires 44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. 45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find

it! HELLO! 46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. 47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! 48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow 49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again 50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke 51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn 52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care 53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. 54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick. 55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I. 56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. 57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. 58.) A day without sunshine is like... night. 59.) A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! 60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot 61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! 62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. 63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! 64.) I do what cheerios tell me. 65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. 66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! ) 67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont

look at me like that... 68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. 69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... 70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. 71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. 72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro

I'd be dishonoring God if I didn't believe I was put here on Earth to help change the world. Author: Nick Vujicic No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted. Author: Aesop Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless. Author: Mother Teresa

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do th something I can do. Author: Helen Keller

If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. Author: William Penn Seek not good from without; seek it within yourselves, or you will never find it. Author: Epictetus (2nd century) How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world. Author: Anne Frank He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love Author: St. Basil (330-379), Greek religious leader

Just because an animal is large, it doesnt mean he doesnt want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo. Author: Pooh's Little Instruction Book (inspired by A.A. Milne) Remember theres no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Author: Scott Adams

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. Author: The Dalai Lama What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?

Author: Jean Jacques Rousseau Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind. Author: Eric Hoffer One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness; it usually comes back to you. Author: Anonymous Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments. Author: The Talmud

Were here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark. Author: Whoopi Goldberg Kindness gives birth to kindness. Author: Sophocles (447 BC)

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Author: Margaret Mead Kindness is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Author: Henri-Frederic Amiel A kind and compassionate act is often its own reward. Author: William John Bennett Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. Author: Barbara DeAngelis