Attract

And Seduce
A 4-Step System For Attracting
Beautiful, High-Caliber Women and
Becoming The Most Interesting Guy In The Room

By Byron Seingalt
Foreword by David DeAngelo




________________________

Let's Get Started!

If you like what you learn in this book,
how about watching, listening and interacting!

There are how-to training videos and cheat sheets that help you memorize, step-by-step exercises that go
along with each chapter and a community of fellow students.
Visit:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address to
(310) 589-3568
________________________

 If your father talked to you about women, it was probably to
rehash stories from his glory days, that all began
with, “When I was your age…”

If your pals talked about dating, it was probably locker room

bluster, full of exaggeration and tall tales about
their self-described prowess with women.

If your female friends consoled you about your social life, it was probably
empty platitudes about being yourself and how every woman wants
a nice guy while you watched them run off with the bad boy.

If men’s magazines, television shows, and advice columns provided tips,
it was probably ridiculous oversimplifications about how you just
had to be confident.

This book is dedicated to all those people who love you and care about you.
But who nonetheless led you astray for years.

Because everything they told you about dating is wrong.

*****




Copyright © 2015 by Stylelife and Byron Seingalt
ISBN-13: 978-0-692-45499-2

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any

unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any

means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without

express written permission from the author / publisher.

DISCLAIMER: The information in this book is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Neither Stylelife, nor the authors,

nor the publishers of this book takes any responsibility for the use or misuse of the information it presents. You assume full
responsibility for the consequences of your own actions. It is only to be used in a conscientious, ethical, mutually beneficial way, and

only with the fully educated and informed consent of all parties involved.
Endorsements
"Teaching you authentic ways to attract a woman, this step by step
guide will change the game and help you to master skills every woman wants
you to have, even if she doesn’t know it yet. We want to be seduced!" - Jaiya,
world-renowned sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch, founder of New World Sex
Education and creator of Super Hero Sex Mastery (Missjaiya.com).

"Thank you for teaching men not how to trick chicks, but how to become
real men – how to communicate effectively, and how to share their true value
with someone. I’m not using “techniques” anymore; I am sharing the wonderful
man I have become, while not making many common mistakes." - Entice, OACS
Member

"As a woman who coaches men on how to attract women, I'm very
selective with what I endorse. I was expecting to hate this book BUT I didn't. It's
an exceptionally well-written book on the topics of attraction and seduction."
Marni, founder of the WingGirlMethod.com.

"I feel like I have life back into me, when it comes to approaching
women; I talked to more girls in one night than I had in over a year." - Adam

"This is only the beginning of my journey to grow into my best self with
confidence, courage, and influence. I have nothing to be nervous about and with
these tools and skills, I can accomplish so much more in anything I do." - Kieran

"You taught the material with the perfect dose of theory & examples. I
had a very clear idea of what I had to do in the field. This has not only
contributed to my romantic skills, but is now bringing closure to an essential
part of my life & my identity." - Jerry

 "This is a big step in the process of where I want to get in life, and I
know that this has made me a better person." - Jed

"I'll keep it pretty simple: I've never had or done anything that has
changed my world significantly like this has." - Paul

"My sex with women has never been better, my self-confidence is great,
and women want me." - Houston

"Thank you for opening a whole new reality to me – a reality that I had
denied since childhood, but had thus far only been able to chase with nothing
more than a vague, hope and what determination I could muster. I can't wait to
continue to explore this beautiful reality and the art of seduction which is the key
to its door." - Jason

"I feel like I can start to see clearly now. I've been in a mist my whole
life, thinking everyone else's advice was to blame for my instability to make it
anywhere, but you have shown me that the mist was of my creation and I was the
one keeping it going. You have also shown me I can clear the mist and forge my
own path. Everyone's journey begins with one’s self, and because of you, I've
been able to look at myself and see who I'm meant to be. My journey begins
now; I can't wait to see where I end up." - William

"Getting to know a sensible, fun, ethical, 'keep them comfortable' way to
seduction is something all guys ought to learn - you do it better than anyone." -
Rick

"I want to thank you for giving me a change, for the better, in my life.
You're like a wizard from another world. Now that I have this knowledge, I can
use it to be successful with women and get a better life." - The European

"Thanks for making a huge impact on my life – you've helped me
become not only a better person, but a better lover!" - Aaron

"I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing your time and wisdom
with us. I am 100% committed to not just changing myself, but becoming a
phenomenal seducer, and doing everything I can to embody the principles of the
art and passing them on in a way that will add value to the world." - Dave M.

"Your insights have shifted my perspective on what is possible. This is
truly a system for improving your life and maximizing the influence that you can
have. I'm more excited about my future than ever before." - Ryan

"You have taught me what is possible – things I had never realized.
Words can't express the gratitude and warm feeling that I have for you!" - David
R.

"The journey you've taken me on was awesome! I feel as though the
ceiling on my potential has been blown open and my limits, which I had put on
myself, have been destroyed!" - Jason A.

"I liked the lessons where we practiced openers. It allowed me to watch
the women I was talking to and notice their reactions for the very first time. I
also really liked the identity storytelling. It really made everything come together
for me!" - Mark

"What I got out of it was that in the end the greatest success comes from
being present, open, active listening, and interacting with the present moment
and being genuinely interested in the words you are sharing and the people you
are meeting." - Shahin

"A simple, comfortable question does make a lot of difference when
approaching a group. It's far better than my usual, drunken, 'Hey ladies.' Thanks
for all the great tips." - Ricardo

"You deconstructed every step to its very core and added all the missing
pieces and put them all back together. It has helped me realize what I've been
doing wrong, doing right, and given me the self-belief to get tight with my game
and become my greatest self." - Dan

"I've never had my perspectives broadened, changed, and improved this
much before. My mind was blown with every word." - Jeff

"You teach a neglected skill set with patience, thought, and practicality.
I’d never approached a girl in a bar. Now, I can!" - Edward

"My moment was when I set aside everything I came in with, and used
your lines. It became too easy to go in and keep talking." - Josh

"I feel so much more confident in myself and that I don't need to be
afraid of trying to approach. I feel it is in my body, even my walking feels a lot
more confident." - Marshall
 Acknowledgements

I wish to personally thank the following members of the original Attract and
Seduce / OACS project for their contributions, suggestions, corrections, ideas
and other help in creating this book:

Dennis Y., Luis M. C., Steve G., Kenny, Joshua, Richardo, David B., Sandor,
Brian, Pedro, Richard K, Xabi, Henri, Anthony, Wes, James, NJ, Tom, Yousef,
Josh, Adam, Shane, Tony, Jamal, Will, Greg, Hasan, Luca, Robert, Andrew,
John, Brandon, Frankie, Mike, Chris, Linus, Tim, Jason, Carlos, Travis, Victor,
Alex, Nova, Samuel S. R., Hdr, Medieval, Brian C., Luther Chance, Joe,
Vladimiros D., Scott O. Jr.

Also, a shout out to the following individuals who used our Attract & Seduce
/ OACS conference calls, forums and reddit community to give me feedback,
improvements and ideas and without their contributions and support this book
would not have be what it is today:

HypnoK., VG., Bscha., Doublekb., Rosen., Natur., Sparky., KKav., Eaude.,
Coolb., Vitv., Miguel, Sanhoj., Kenny., Rkrish., JackS,. Kotg., Mufasa., Tony,
Travis, Design, Muhammad, Pheomatar, Jamel., Cadillac, Linus, Alex, Primate,
Keith, Jimmy, Cliff, Rick_H., Andrew, Arturo, Imbue.

And everyone else I may have forgotten to give thanks and praise to. I love
supporting and helping you. You are my big why and it’s a deep and profound
pleasure to watch your personal transformation. If your name is missing or
misspelled, please send me an email (byron@stylelife.com) and I'll make sure to
include it right away.

Finally, I'd like to thank Neil Strauss and the entire Stylelife Academy team!

Byron Seingalt
a.k.a. Evolve

P.S. Thank you for making this book a bestseller!

 Foreword by David DeAngelo
David DeAngelo, founder of the "Double Your Dating" company,
acknowledged dating advisor and serial entrepreneur.
www.DoubleYourDating.com/AttractAndSeduce

If you know anything about me, David D., you probably know this much...
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, learning, and teaching what it takes to become
insanely successful with women, dating, and relationships.

When I look back at that trip… a journey that involved going from lonely
and dateless, to meeting and dating tons of mind-blowing women, to the life-
changing relationship of my dreams with an amazing Total-10 woman… know
what I came to value most?

It was the priceless opportunities that presented themselves along the way to:

1. Learn what I didn’t know from smart, tuned-in people who genuinely
shared my same goals and dreams.
2. Teach other men what I learned so that they didn’t waste precious time
out of their lives suffering through the same frustrations, setbacks, and
failures that I did for so long.

This in mind… today I couldn’t be more excited about this opportunity to
introduce Byron’s groundbreaking “Attract And Seduce” book… it truly fits the
bill perfectly when it comes to “all of the above.”

From the moment that I began reading, I immediately recognized Byron as a
kindred spirit and an exceptionally gifted teacher with invaluable ideas - that’s
how I know for a fact that this book will help light the path and speed the
journey toward your success with women as well.

From Byron’s bedrock-solid observations about how a man’s inner beliefs,
attitudes and mindsets make or break him with women… to a different game
plan for grabbing any woman’s attention… to laser-focused, step-by-step
techniques for communicating with women in all the right ways to literally
attract and seduce them… it’s all here.

Which brings me to a personal note that you can file under “near-and-dear to
my heart”:

I’d like to make special a shout-out to the concepts and instructions Byron
weaves throughout these pages on becoming the kind of confident, fascinating,
genuine man that high-quality women instantly respond to.

As I learned how to become successful with women and in life from the
“Masters” (also known as the guys who get natural, effortless results) it didn’t
take long for me to discover that creating this confident mindset is what it’s
really all about... the absolute Holy Grail when it came to turning the ship and
beginning to succeed with women.

In fact, I pretty much categorize my life into two eras - B.C. (before
confidence) and A.C. (you guessed it.)

In “Attract And Seduce,” Byron approaches this critical “core” subject in
innovative, interactive ways that aren’t just about getting results… they’re about
changing your entire life through the tools you need to feel confident and
attractive around women at last.

To me, that’s the whole ball-game... and a very big deal... because, harsh
reality is, failing to learn these skills is often the biggest tragedy we’ll endure in
life as men.

If we continue to lack the ability to feel confident within ourselves and then
communicate that confidence to women… if we don’t learn how to spark interest
and attraction… if we have no clue how to make women want to be with us… it
seeps into and sabotages almost everything else in our lives as well.

It casts a long shadow over everything we do. It makes us trudge through life
feeling like there’s a weight on our shoulders, or like something’s missing, or
that there’s something we’re “hiding.”

Our failure with women basically interferes with all of our hopes and dreams
and everything we want for the future.

Not good.

That’s why, today, I couldn’t be more glad that you’ve added “Attract And
Seduce” to your personal set of tools for getting this part of your life handled.

Byron hits it out of the park in these pages, and I know for a fact that you’ll
get a lot out of this.

So what are you waiting for?

Start reading…
 Table of Contents
Lesson #1: Read Me First - The Call to Action
Chapter 2: Attract & Seduce: The Most Powerful Method of Seduction in the World
Chapter 3: The Attract and Seduce 4-Step System
Chapter 4: Seductive Psychology, Mindset, and Inner Game
Chapter 5: Top 12 Reasons Everyone Should Study Attraction and Seduction
Chapter 6: How to Apply the Attract and Seduce 4-Step System
Chapter 7: Step #1: The Secret of the Opening Line
Chapter 8: The Bridging Technique: Keep Talking!
Chapter 9: Step #2: The Three Keys to Build Attraction
Chapter 10: Key 1: Never Run Out of Things to Say
Chapter 11: Key 2: Be Fascinating and Stay Authentic: The "Identity Storytelling" Technique
Chapter 12: Key 3: The Power of Active Disinterest, Banter and Flirting
Chapter 13: Step #3: The Most Powerful Way to Connect With a Woman
Chapter 14: Step #4: How to Get Her Number, Set Up a Date and Beyond
Chapter 15: Texting and Phone Calls before the First Date
Chapter 16: How To Tell If A Woman Likes You
Chapter 17: Passive Value Generators That Amplify Your Attractiveness
Chapter 18: Dating With Care and Empathy
Chapter 19: The First Kiss and the "Romantic Window" Technique
Chapter 20: Comfort, Intimacy And The "Love Roadmap"
Chapter 21: Tips For Dating Apps And Dating Websites
Chapter 22: Advanced Text Game And Avoiding Flaking
Chapter 23: Creating a Seductive Atmosphere
Chapter 24: Adventure Dating
Chapter 25: How Attract And Seduce Can Change Your Life
Chapter 26: Happily Ever After
Chapter 27: From Awkward Nerd To Confident Dating Coach: An Inspirational Interview
Chapter 28: How I Got My Girlfriend: A Powerful Success Story
Chapter 29: Underlying Principles: A Conversation About How to Never Use Another Line Again and
Still Succeed
 Lesson #1: Read Me First - The Call to Action

I wanted to make a different book – an interactive book in which I give you

how-to videos, audios and downloadable cheat sheets for each chapter that will
quickly make hundreds of light bulbs go on in your head and expedite your
romantic potential.

By engaging all your senses and showing you how it’s done, you'll be able to
learn how to attract and seduce beautiful, high-caliber women faster than with
any other book. We’ll give to the tools to learn while you’re on your
smartphone, iPad, Kindle, in your car, when you work out - anytime, anywhere
on any device.

In my opinion, if you practice the material in this book you should be able to
accomplish these five goals:

1. Become a more confident person and present yourself in a way that
women find intriguing and interesting.
2. Approach and meet new women in social settings, through dating apps
and online. And you’ll do it efficiently and effectively.
3. Attract women using your authentic personality and identity.
4. Understand "the chemistry of love;" what sparks attraction, and what
causes people to stay together and begin healthy relationships.
5. Avoid “the friend-zone” by understanding the root of romantic
relationships; the principles that allow a woman to see you as a
potential lover, boyfriend or husband.

To get started and see how this works, grab your mobile phone and text your
email address right now to (310) 589-3568 or visit
http://www.stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train (clickable link) or scan the QR
Code on the next page.
 Not only will you get to instantly watch the how-to training videos, I'll also
reward you with a digital copy of this book that you can read anytime, anywhere
and on any device.

Why is this important? Why should you care?

Because with this interactive book, you're not only going to learn how to
attract and seduce beautiful women, you'll also learn how to become the most
interesting and confident guy in the room.

If this doesn't sound compelling, I’ll give you even more reasons to try this
out in every chapter with special bonus training videos, audios and cheat sheets
that I think will get your attention, engage and entertain you.

Let’s begin!

Byron Seingalt a.k.a. Evolve
Los Angeles, California
Stylelife Academy

 Chapter 2:
Attract & Seduce:
The Most Powerful Method of
Seduction in the World

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

- Mark Twain

Welcome to the beginning of the life that’s waiting for you.

I have something I want to share with you. It's a powerful way to improve
your relationships, attract more lovers, and improve your overall communication
with everyone you meet. Once you learn it, you'll have the skills to attract high-
caliber women and gain power, love, and friendship with anyone.

I'll introduce you to guys who've mastered the art of attraction and seduction,
so you can hear and learn from their stories. I can prove to you that it works
whether you're meeting women online, on dating apps, in a bar or in a coffee
shop, from London to Los Angeles to Hong Kong. It will work everywhere in
the world, with any type of woman you could possibly meet.

The system is ancient; it's been around since the dawn of civilization.
For better or worse, it's changed the course of history.
It works for men and women, gay or straight.
It works in politics, business, and romance.
It has changed the world, and it can change your life.

So, what is it? What is this powerful system that can bring you love, power,
and respect?

It's the carefully guarded and practically timeless art of attraction and
seduction.

More specifically, it's a system for understanding and mastering how
attraction and seduction works.

You may be thinking that the power to attract and seduce is something some
lucky guys are born with. I thought that too. Luckily, we were both wrong.

Attraction and seduction is a skill that can absolutely be learned, and it can
absolutely be taught. I know because I've done both. I've had some great teachers
who taught it to me, and I, in turn, have taught it to countless students.

It's a system used by freshman college students, A-list celebrities, and
everyone in-between. I've taught them all, and seen them use it – in person. And
if you pay attention and keep reading, I promise you that what you will learn can
change your life for the better.

So let’s talk about you.

If you're reading this, you've probably had at least one lover, girlfriend, or
wife in the past. Or maybe you're a virgin, and you crave the experiences
everyone else seems to have. In any case, you probably want more out of your
romantic life – whether it’s to have some wild nights, to find someone special, or
simply to master the ability to walk up to and have a great interaction with
anyone you want.

Good news! You're about to learn a new model for attraction and seduction.
Something no one has taught you before. In short, it's a four-step system that
focuses on a very linear process of transforming from stranger to soul mate.

In this chapter, you're going to learn what those four steps are. As we
proceed, I'll go more in depth on how to recognize where you are in the system
and what to do.

Now, this is more than just a book. It’s an interactive experience.

I want to make sure that you understand all the tips, tricks and concepts
perfectly. Which is why I have prepared videos that show you how you do it, as
well as cheat sheets that summarize important information and the most up-to-
date material.

All this complimentary training material comes along with this book. You'll
find the instructions to access it at the end of each chapter. I've made sure that
you have access to all the tools you'll need to learn the model I'm presenting.
The links will connect you with video, audio, and texts that are bursting with tips
and strategies for learning seduction.

This may all sound like too much. But it’s just enough. I love teaching
attraction and seduction. I love seeing my students’ faces when a light bulb goes
on in their heads because they just saw something they’d been doing wrong their
whole lives and are now going to fix it forever. Or they suddenly understand
why this is an art, and that they can finally master it.

I love getting calls and emails from guys telling me that they've had some
crazy adventure with someone they previously felt was out of their league. I love
hearing about how this helped to strengthen a relationship, or fixed a problem at
work. I love it when a student falls in love and the love is reciprocated. I just
plain love this art form. It means the world to me, and that's why I'm so excited
to share it with you.

So, this book is not just another book about dating, flirting and meeting
women.

It answers the questions that men have had about what women want since
the dawn of civilization. It contains simple and proven techniques that allow you
to hack into a woman's mind and attract her with a power that you've always
had, but never realized.

Whether you are looking for a girlfriend, or want to get out of the "friend
zone"; whether you want to get your ex back, or discover the secrets behind one-
night-stands, this "dating book for smart guys with a dry spell" is a guide to
mastering the art of attraction and seduction.

From the first moment you meet a woman's eyes, to starting a conversation
with her, to getting to know each other, to exciting nights in the bedroom, to
exotic adventures with the woman you love, I'll teach you all things romantic,
and it all works. Remember, when it comes to attraction and seduction, it’s the
small steps and simple changes that produce huge results.

You will learn how to gain unstoppable confidence with the "Heroic Mind
Shaping Exercise" that helps overcome any anxiety with women and also helps
in other parts of your life. I'll also teach you how to easily spot and reverse your
anti-seductive and unattractive qualities and turn them into "attraction magnets".

With this 4-step system, you'll learn how to approach and talk to women in
an authentic way while building attraction through your seductive identity – and
without changing who you are as a person. I'll show you how to use dating apps
and websites to contact and attract women without being ignored or rejected.
You'll also learn how to become the most interesting guy in the room and never
run out of things to say when you’re in conversation with even the highest
caliber women.

Later, we'll dive deep into my bulletproof technique to get a date with a
woman without worrying about her flaking. You'll learn everything from the
"First Kiss Technique” to sweep a woman off her feet, to making her swoon and
wanting to take it to the next intimate level. Then you'll learn how to navigate
the “Love Roadmap” from kissing to complete arousal.

Now, let me tell a bit about how I know all this, my own journey and why
you should learn from me.

I'm a natural introvert. In high school, when you think of a guy who's good
with people you wouldn't have thought of me. I was a goth kid. I had rows to
spikes up both arms, red contact lenses, and a wardrobe that was all black. My
social circle consisted of five guys who all played Dungeons & Dragons
together. One of us had a girlfriend, so we thought of him as "the player".

To make things worse, I was super skinny, and had asthma so bad that some
nights I had to use a machine to pump medicine into my lungs. Obviously, I was
in no shape to be hitting on women or making powerful connections.

My first year of college I met a guy who showed me what it meant to be a
seducer, and over the next few years, my life changed – I got a girlfriend, I had
exciting romantic adventures, I had a social circle that started growing and
growing. I spent a lot of time writing about my changes.

Eventually, the writing ended up in the hands of New York Times best-
selling author Neil Strauss. He called me up and hired me to teach men (and
women) to master the game at the one and only Stylelife Academy. I've been
working there now for ten years. I've traveled the world teaching countless
students the art of attraction and seduction – an art that I love.

One of my favorite success stories is from a 45-year-old lawyer who'd had a
crush on a woman for months. He studied the system in this book and within a
few weeks, they were in a relationship. Another comes from a 22-year-old
college student who'd nearly finished college without a single sexual partner:
within a year his life had changed – he'd had several casual sexual partners, and
even a threesome. One student used the "Identity Storytelling" exercise to make
his company several million dollars, by telling just one story.

Think about it: Are you capable of becoming the kind of person strangers
would love to get to know? Are you capable of achieving the romantic success
you've always wished for? Are you capable of harnessing the power to sway the
minds of people you meet? Of course you are.

All you need to know are the four steps that streamline the seductive
process. But, before we get to the four steps, I want to give you fair warning...

After years of teaching, I've found that there are three devastating reasons
guys who study this system fail.

 The first mistake is something we call "The Give-up Guy". He's the one who
quits before he even begins; the one who decides there's no way it will work.
Here's the deal: give this system and the material a chance. I promise you'll see
results. If it doesn't work – fine. Email me at byron@stylelife.com and I'll give
you the full price back for this book. Just make sure to try it first.

The second mistake is the "Looks, Power, and Fame Assumption". The idea
that you must have looks, money, and/or some sort of fame or power to be
attractive and intriguing to people. It's not true. It helps (I'll get into how to use
these traits if you have them later), but they're not necessary.

When I started learning this, I didn't own a car, I didn't have a job, and I had
no social circle or network to speak of. It's all about following the system – a
tested, proven, and simple system. It's all about learning what to do, and – more
importantly – when to do it. The best part about this whole system is: once you
begin to see results, it gets easier and easier.

The third mistake is "The Self-Defeater". You have to get out of your own
way. If you don't, you'll be stuck where you are forever. You have to push
yourself. Find motivation to move forward, take risks, and make changes. Self-
sabotaging behaviors are commonplace and disastrous.
Your mind wants you to follow the path of least resistance, because it takes a
lot of energy to do something new, and your mind wants to use as little energy as
possible. Self-motivated people are capable of making it over that mental hump.
They've trained themselves to do it.

Here's a technique to prevent you from becoming The Self-Defeater. Every
time you tell yourself, "I don't feel like trying this," get a piece of paper and
write down the reasons why. Then write a list of the things that won't change if
you don't try. Finally, write down a day and time you're going to give whatever
you're going to try a shot. Set an alarm on your phone for that day. When the
alarm goes off, go try out the techniques we teach you here.

If you can just avoid these three pitfalls, you're going to do great!
________________________
 Free Book Updates and Video Training
This book is INTERACTIVE! To watch free how-to training videos, access more resources, updates
and upgrades to this book when new versions or editions are released, visit:

http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train

or text your email address

to (310) 589-3568

or scan this fancy QR code:

________________________

 Chapter 3:
The Attract and Seduce 4-Step System

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better
than anyone else. " - Albert Einstein

So, here it is: The Four Step System of Attraction and Seduction.

It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you’re looking for – this system
will work. I’ve had students who’ve participated in wild sexual adventures,
others who’ve made millions, and a few who’ve found the woman of their
dreams and settled down. All using the same set of principles. It’s a system that
will take you from starting a conversation to closing the deal.

The principles that govern this system are universal, which means you can
apply them to all kinds of seductions. Whether you’re meeting a woman in a bar
or on an online date, the system will work. You just need to get a grip on the
principles – they are universal, and won’t change. It’s the techniques that will
differ from situation to situation. Anyone learning this art should experiment
with different types of venues and platforms for dating. The more
experimentation you do and the more feedback you get, the better you’ll get.
That said, let’s get started.

Prepare Yourself

Seduction is a journey of self-discovery. To share yourself, you have to
know yourself. Most people underestimate their potential; they decide not to take
risks, or put time into something that could really change their lives, because
they fear the insecurities they’ll have to face on the journey. Some guys are
scared of success: what if this all works out and they end up with someone
who’s out of their league?

To prepare yourself, sit down and reflect on what you’re true motivations are
for reading this book, what you are looking for, and what exactly you hope to get
out of it. The best place to start is by looking at what you’re missing. Simply
think about or write the answers to the following questions down.

Why are you learning the art of attraction and seduction?
Are you looking for love? Sex? Companionship?
How do you think learning this will help you achieve that goal?
When you achieve this particular goal, how will things be
different?
How will people look at you?
How will you view yourself?
Are you prepared to put in the time to practice this art?
Are you prepared to make approaches and face rejection?
How will you deal with rejection when it comes?
What will you do to pull yourself back up when the going gets
tough?
What kind of women are you trying to attract into your life?
What kind of relationships are you looking for?

Start here, and answer any other questions that may come up while you’re
sifting through your own mind. Once you have some answers you can move on
and start learning the system.

Do not skip this exercise, because it is crucial that you understand who you
are and what you want before you start. Keep that kind of focus as you continue
to move forward learning the art of seduction.

If you want to learn to talk to people, then you’ll have to develop the best,
most seductive identity you can. We’re going to go over that in detail later, in
the chapter on generating value with your life story.

 Step #1: Open

This is the beginning. The place where you spark a conversation with a
woman or a group. Keep in mind that most women don't wander around by
themselves to be approached by you. So, the majority of your approaches will be
groups. This is also the step where most guys quit.

I’m going to teach you the principle behind what to do when you approach,
and then provide a few techniques that you can use to start conversations. My
goal for you is pretty simple:

Learn to start a comfortable conversation with total strangers.
Learn what makes people uncomfortable when they’re approached.
Learn how to alleviate the fear of the approach. (Something we call
"Approach Anxiety".)

If you feel like it’s too much, don’t worry – we’re going to break it down,
and there’s plenty of supporting videos you can watch by following the
instruction at the end of this chapter.

After practicing this material, you’ll have the confidence and the skills to
start conversations with almost anyone – most importantly, the kind of women
you've always wanted to talk to. I’ve had students who’ve never cold approached
anyone before. After a few weeks of practicing the techniques I suggest in this
chapter they were able to go to a bar, point out someone they wanted to talk to
and, at least, make a conversation happen, if not more.

Step #2: Attract

When you’re in conversation, your goal is to build social value. Social value
is relative, and is based on how interesting you are to the person or people you’re
talking to. What we’re going to work on in this step is how you convey high
social value in an authentic way. The goal is to make yourself interesting to the
specific group of people you are speaking with. Here’s the goal for the Attract
section:

 Learn to use your knowledge and showcase-able skills to build value.
Learn to tell stories that focus on preferences and experiences to convey
your identity.
Learn how to use active disinterest to create emotional spikes in your
seductions.

There are many ways to be interesting and authentic. Just about anything you
do or say can be a tool for building value; it’s all about understanding how value
is built and conveyed.

This is really the meat of the system: building social value. This is one of
the sections you’re going to spend the most time refining. There are quite a few
pieces to it, but once you’ve practiced it, your social life will shoot into the
stratosphere. Once you learn how to build value, you’ll get more dates, have
more sex, meet who you want, and more.

Step #3: Connect

To romantically connect with a woman, you must tell her that you’re
interested. At its core, this chapter is about timing. In attraction and seduction
there is a specific time when you must tell her that you are interested. Most guys
have terrible timing, and little understanding of how to compliment someone
effectively. In this chapter you’ll learn:

How to give a great compliment.
How to get the most impact out of a compliment.
The timing for a seductive compliment.
When not to compliment someone.

Here is the problem with indicating your interest too early: Wanting to tell a
woman that you’re interested in her feels very straightforward and honest. How
many guys try to pick up women by simply telling them they have beautiful
eyes? Too many.

Why do they do it? Because, it feels good to compliment her. Unfortunately,
if a person receives the same compliment too much, it fades into the background,
becoming a pattern that’s no longer paid attention to. Most attractive women
have heard the same compliments thousands of times. So if you are the next guy
that tells her that she has beautiful eyes, guess what she thinks? Yeah, another
one of those... next.

By understanding the proper timing of a compliment within seduction, you’ll
learn how to break that pattern, and give compliments that are truly felt and
authentic.

The timing is key here. Pay attention to that. When you compliment
someone it’s always a good thing, but if you learn to compliment someone with
proper timing you can really make an impression, and change the dynamics of an
interaction.

Step #4: Seduce

This is the chapter where you'll learn about going for the kiss or further.
Where you learn how to set up the meeting or date. Where you learn how to
move a person or group of people from one location to another. There’s one
technique I’m going to teach you that will help you accomplish all of these goals
and it’s called "seeding". In this chapter you’ll learn:

How to properly seed a date or meeting.
How to "bounce" someone from one location to another.
How to set up an intimate moment, and what to do if you misjudge the
moment.

And that’s it – those four steps will take you from approaching to a second
meet up. Following all this material is everything you’re going to need to know
once you’ve learned these four basic steps. The goal is to make you the total
package – a person that other people envy, and want to get to know.

At the end of the book you’ll find interviews with guys who I’ve taught
personally, and you can read about their experiences:

How they got to where they are. You’ll hear from one guy who maintains a
healthy relationship with the girl he loves, while bringing new women into his
sex life in a healthy and honest way.

How they practiced this material. You’ll hear from a former student, who’s
now a coach. He went out every day, practiced, improved, and even did stand-up
comedy in an effort to learn this skill.

The hurdles they had to jump to achieve success. Learn how one student
went from having crippling approach anxiety to becoming a man who can
approach anyone.

What kind of success they’ve all had, and how you can achieve your goals.
Each student I’ve interviewed experienced more sex, a better professional life,
and a steady girlfriend. Different goals – each one achieved.

It’s time to become the social superhero you’ve always wanted to be. It’s
time for you to have choice when it comes to friends and lovers. It’s time to
meet the people you’ve always wanted to meet. To have someone you’d only
met moments ago say, “You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”

Welcome to having choice. Welcome to your new and improved social life.

Welcome to Attract and Seduce!

________________________

Cool How-To Training Videos!

Watch Neil Strauss on video explaining the principles of attraction and the different levels of Game:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 4:
Seductive Psychology, Mindset, and Inner Game

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong
man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The
credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by
dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short
again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but
who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the
great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in
the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at
least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold
and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
- Theodore Roosevelt

Seduction isn’t about you. It’s about the person you’re seducing. Great
seducers can put themselves in the shoes of the people they want to seduce. They
can look at themselves from other people’s perspectives, and make strategic
judgments about what to do next in a social situation. That's how Cleopatra was
able to seduce Julius Caesar and Mark Antony.

One of the most important skills you’re going to want to get familiar with is
to understand what other people think of you.

The Persona Exercise

This is all about seeing the way other people view you. To do this you’re
going to want to take notes and collect data. You can do this with anyone you
already know. Ask them this one simple question: "If you had to describe me to
someone who had never met me what would you say about me?" Then ask,
"What have I done or said that makes you describe me this way?"

 Ask as many people as you can these two questions, and try to find out
where the commonalities are. If everyone says you’re a nice guy, then you’re
probably a nice guy. If everyone says you’re selfish, then you’re selfish. That's
pretty simple, but necessary for the next step.

Now that you have this information what can you do with it? Well, the first
thing you can do is ask yourself: Is this how I want to come off when I get to
know people?

If you’re satisfied with the answer, great! If you’re not, then you have to
look deeper, and decide if you want to change these qualities, and how you’re
going to change these qualities. Later on when we get into being interesting and
generating value with your life story we can start to mold your identity into a
more seductive version of itself.

Each of us are going to have different traits that we want to change; it’s
important early on to know what people think of you, so you can work on
developing a more seductive identity over time that is authentic and powerful.

Introduction to Story and Routine Stacks

I grew up a huge fan of Kung-Fu movies. When I was a kid I used to watch
the characters do their forms and katas on screen and practice in my living room.
I thought martial arts were the clear path to superpowers. I had no idea what the
purpose of those katas or forms were. I just thought they were awesome looking
– I still do. Years later, when I started studying martial arts, in a school rather
than my living room, I found out what their purpose was.

In most traditional martial arts schools, katas or forms are collections of
choreographed techniques or movements. Each form or kata expresses a number
of principles through the techniques inherent in the form. They may include
footwork, specific punches or kicks, break-falls, a few even include meditative
pieces. Generally, the forms aren’t meant for combat. They’re meant to be
practiced repeatedly, until you understand the principles on an internal level.
They’re one piece of the martial arts puzzle, but by no means everything.

 Routine stacks are seduction’s version of katas or forms, with a few slight
differences.

A routine stack is a collection of material that’s meant to help you understand
the principles of seduction. They consist of one or more techniques for each
phase of the seduction. If you’re using a routine stack to practice, then it’s
important that:

You practice saying the material out loud, over and over again before
you use it. You want to make sure you know what you’re saying. This
way, if the people you’re going to be talking to become confused, you
can reiterate what you’re saying more clearly.

You should memorize the material in order. There is a structure to
seduction. Know where your routines fit into the stack and memorize
that order.

You recognize that routine stacks are not your entire seduction, they’re
collections of techniques to practice. They can be used to fall back on,
but routine stacks can’t be counted on to solve every problem.

They’re great tools for learning seduction, because they can give you
something to fall back on. If you don’t know where you are in the
seduction, or you can’t think of something to say a routine stack can be
a lifesaver, assuming you memorized the material.

When you know where you’re seductions going, it makes the chaos of your
initial interactions more clear, which can come off as confidence, as long as
you’re not pushy about the material. Now, let me show you the structure of a
routine stack. In order to build one, the first thing you must know is the phases
of interaction. For us, the phases are: Open, Attract, Connect, Seduce. You
should make sure you have routines for all of the following:

At least one opener, no more than two.
Demonstrations of Higher Value, Games, Bar bets, etc.
Identity Stories
 A technique for showing Active Disinterest.
A technique for showing Active Interest.
Seed for a date
Seed for a bounce

You will learn how to build your very own stack later in this book. Once you
have chosen your stories and routines, they should all be well memorized and
practiced for delivery, body language, tonality, and volume dynamics.

And remember one of Murphy’s Laws of combat: no plan survives first
contact with the enemy. Meaning, it’s a routine stack is a stratagem, but it’s not
the whole seduction. In the field things will change. Be prepared maneuver when
curveballs are thrown at you.

Conquering Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is the negative voice in your head telling you not to
approach – it keeps you from walking towards a woman. The result is excuse
after excuse for not trying.

Why is Approaching Women so Hard?

Let’s start off with the first part: Why do you have such a hard time
approaching women? As with most topics related to seduction, there are as many
different answers as there are men in the Game. However, some of the broader
reasons that approaching women can be difficult include:

Personal Experience: We’ve all had experiences approaching women
where we felt hurt and humiliated. Unfortunately, our brains are hard
wired to remember these more than the times where things went
swimmingly well. These past experiences hold you back from
approaching in the future.

Lack of Experience: Conversely, there’s the lack of experience. You
don’t approach women much, so you think it’s a huge deal and that it
will inevitably end in disaster. You’ve built things up in your head so
 much that the fantasy of what might go wrong is preventing you from
getting the experience you need to make things go right.

Lack of Story and Routine Stack: You don’t feel like you have
anything good to say, because you haven’t done the homework on your
stack. This is one of the easiest things to fix, as it’s just about putting
the time in on what you’re going to say. Remember that a lot of Game
takes place before you even head out for the night.

Pedestalization: You see a woman who you are overwhelmingly
attracted to and you think you can’t approach her because she’s "out of
your league". Apparently you haven’t seen Style standing next to his
wife. A big part of what we teach you in Stylelife Academy boils down
to this: Looks might matter, but not as much as you think they do, and
anyway, you can overcome your "attraction deficit."

When it comes right down to it, there’s only one answer to approach anxiety:
It’s approaching women over and over again, honing your approach so that it
becomes better over time. This will not only build a bank of positive
experiences, it will also help alleviate approach anxiety.

Now that we know what underpins your anxiety, let’s talk about a few
common problems men encounter when approaching women.

What You’re Doing Wrong When You Approach Women

So what are you doing wrong? That’s what you want to know, right? What
can you be doing better so that you can build the types of positive experiences
that are going to make approaching women that much easier with every
approach?

You’re Too Serious: Coming up to a woman and being very serious at
first is a recipe for disaster. It makes things awkward and tense. Instead,
opt for a lighter approach; one that will have her laughing, smiling and
wondering who you are and what you’re about.

 You Can’t Handle a Challenge: A lot of guys blow it the second their
stack goes off course. She throws a curveball your way and you lose it;
That’s not an attractive reaction. Instead of bailing at the first sign of
trouble, learn how to weather the storm.

You’re Too Needy: On the other hand, you might be trying too hard to
impress her, either by being entertaining or by trying to demonstrate
higher value in incorrect ways or with bad timing. This comes across as
needy, and neediness is kryptonite when it comes to seduction.

You’re Paying for her Time: It’s fine to buy someone a drink or
dinner, just make sure you’re not purchasing their time. If that person is
sticking around for free stuff, then you’re paying for their time. If
they’re sticking around because they’re enjoying their time with you,
and you want to buy them something for being awesome – go for it.
Also, don’t be a cheapskate, it’s just as bad as paying for someone’s
time.

You’re Not Going Out Enough: Guess what, guys? Going out once a
month isn’t going to cut it. Sure, you’ve got a life to lead. But try and
head out at least a couple of times a week and practice what you’re
learning. I’d argue that having more than a week between the last
approach of one night and the first of the next is going to be a huge
setback in terms of your comfort level.

You Make Excuses to Not Approach: There’s always going to be a
reason to not approach. However, the more you do it, the better you’re
going to get at it. Any time you hear that little voice inside your head
telling you why you shouldn’t approach, tell it to shut up and approach
immediately.

Having approach anxiety isn't the difference between a regular man and a
confident man. The real difference is that confident men experience this anxiety
and push past it.

Here is a thought experiment: Would this fear still exist if you were 100%
sure when you approached that the woman would be friendly, want to talk to
you, or even be interested in you? In other words, if there were no risk, you'd
approach her, wouldn't you?

Ask yourself: What's the lasting result of being rejected or
embarrassed?

Mostly, just a bad memory; a reminder that you need more practice.

The biggest mistake is being 'too shy to try'. As Wayne Greztky said,

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

Your potential gain is significant! The best case is she likes you, you get her
number and you go on a date. No matter what, you learn something from talking
to her. You apply that knowledge next time. You get better. The risk versus
reward for approaching a woman is in your favor. Before you approach, you'll
feel your anxiety, but... this time say to yourself, "It's no big deal. I can handle
this."

Feel your fear. Recognize it. Put it to the side in your mind and go! You've
nothing to lose and everything to gain.

One very common question that my students ask me is, "When did your
approach anxiety go away?" The true answer is, it never does. It often lessens
over time, but it will always be there to a degree. Approach anxiety is totally
normal.

The good news is even the shyest guys can alleviate their approach anxiety
when they really try. You can too. Everyone can. So, when you're out there
practicing, here are some techniques you can use to make sure the anxiety
doesn't stop you from opening:

Technique 1: "It's like ripping off a Band-Aid."

If you think about approach anxiety too much and try pulling it off slowly,
you’ll end up making it worse than it has to be. You just have to rip it off;
meaning you just have to make the approach.

Note that the first set of the day is always the hardest, just try to power
through it. Once you’ve made the first approach, the rest will be easier. You're
stronger than you think.

Remember, the only reason you’re anxious is because you want to talk to
those people and you’re worried about what they’ll think of you. Take a risk, and
see what happens.

Technique 2: "Micro-stepping"

If powering through doesn't work, then try slowing down and breaking the
approach into small pieces. The micro-stepping technique is a little harder, but it
never fails if you stay honest, and focus.

When your anxiety gets so high that it's paralyzing you, it means that you've
given your mind and body too difficult a challenge. Try breaking the task down
into smaller pieces.

For example, "I'm going to talk to that really attractive woman," may be way
too much for you. So break the approach down into a few very small, very not
scary steps.

Start like this: "I’m going to walk in her direction."

Now that may sound ridiculous, like it barely relates to talking to the
woman, but that’s the point. You’re using small steps that don’t induce anxiety
to help you build momentum. Once you’re moving in her direction, set another
goal for yourself, "Once I’m standing near her, I’m going to say, ‘hey, quick
question.’" If you can utter those words, you’ve gone past the point of no return.
It would be more awkward to leave without asking the question than it would be
to ask it and open the group up.

By taking it one small step at a time, you end up in conversation. The
anxiety is likely surging through your body at this point, but it didn't stop you
from getting to where you needed to be. Use it. Let it be a little extra energy to
give excitement behind the interaction.

What’s great about this exercise is not only how effective it is, but that it
works whenever you have to do something that induces anxiety. Try using it
when you have to go for a kiss, or ask a girl out on a date. Small steps will lead
you to success.
 The Heroic Mind Shaping Exercise: Confidence Building

Have you ever watched a movie and pictured yourself in the character's
shoes? Imagine if you could take on the frame of one of your favorite heroes.
This exercise will allow you to spot the positive traits in others, and help you
develop them within yourself.

To do this exercise you need the steps listed below, combined with an
exclusive Attract and Seduce audio lesson, which you can get by following the
link at the end of this chapter.

1. Write down a list of characters with qualities you would like to
incorporate into your frame. For you, that might be James Bond,
Alexander the Great, Casanova, or any other person (real or fictional)
whom you admire.
2. Choose the character on this list that you can most easily visualize in
detail.
3. Choose a form of media that you can best experience this character
with. This could be a movie, a history channel presentation, a book, a
series of magazine articles, or anything else you feel would be
beneficial.
4. Feel free to combine a few forms as well. Do whatever it takes for you
to best understand the character to the fullest degree.
5. Pay attention to how this character walks into a room, the micro
expressions on his face, the way he talks and portrays confidence. If
there is a specific scene in a movie or book that you believe best
portrays this character, watch or read it several times.
6. Once you have done all this, sit down in a quiet room and listen to the
Heroic Mind Shaping Exercise audio file, which you can find by
clicking on the link at the end of this chapter.

Rejection and Transforming Your Critical Seductive Mind

Seduction can be a difficult art to learn, because training requires we fail in
front of the people we’re interested in getting to know. These rejections can send
us spiraling into self-doubt; causing us to quit practicing. We keep hearing
criticisms of ourselves like "you suck" over and over. As students we know
criticism is important, it helps us get better, but this inner-wingman telling us
that we suck – he’s of no use to anyone. Here’s one way you can train yourself
to transform him from a bad inner-wingman to a helpful one.

When it comes to practice, don’t accept criticism from yourself that you
wouldn’t accept from a good wingman. A good wingman would never tell you
that you suck or that you’ll never be good with women, and hopefully you
wouldn’t tolerate that kind of worthless criticism. If your wingman told you that
you should approach from an angle rather than walking up directly, you’d more
than likely take that advice, because it’s helpful. What they’re telling you will
make you a better seducer, and that’s the goal.

When it comes to self-criticism, you need to recognize that same difference.
Telling yourself that you suck won’t help you, but giving yourself specific
advice will. My suggestion is to carry a note card, and every time you tell
yourself, "I suck" or "I’ll never get the girl" or "I’m unattractive" you’re going to
take out the note card. On it you’re going to write down a helpful tip for
yourself; one or more things you can do to improve your seduction. You can be
harsh, pointing out your own seductive flaws, but make sure that you’re writing
down ideas you can test to fix the problem. The idea here is to train yourself to
replace worthless criticisms with helpful ones and quiet down that terrible
wingman in your head.
________________________

Ready To Eliminate Approach Anxiety?

To make things easier, I created a downloadable "Cheat Sheet" called the "Routine Stack Builder".
Also you can listen to the "Heroic Mindshaping Exercise" and watch Neil Strauss on video explaining how
to eliminate Approach Anxiety, visit:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
 to (310) 589-3568
________________________



 Chapter 5:
Top 12 Reasons Everyone Should Study
Attraction and Seduction

"The most amazing thing for me is that every single person who sees a
movie, not necessarily one of my movies, brings a whole set of unique
experiences. Now, through careful manipulation and good storytelling, you can
get everybody to clap at the same time, to hopefully laugh at the same time, and
to be afraid at the same time."
- Steven Spielberg

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be."
- William Shakespeare

Reason #1
Studying Attraction and Seduction will help you to influence others.

To understand attraction and seduction, you must understand desire. Desire
is the root of seduction’s power. Learning to seduce someone means leading
their imagination to learn about their own desires. This is what we’re going to
study: How to fulfill desires with our words, our looks, and our reputations.

If you understand seduction, you'll have a better grasp on the world around
you. You'll understand why you make the decisions you make and have better
insight as to why others make the decisions they make. You'll understand how
the world, politicians, and advertisements influence you. You’ll learn what
makes you attracted to the people you're attracted to. Seduction is a skill with a
world of benefits.

Reason #2
Studying attraction and seduction will open up new opportunities.

Many of us run into opportunity after opportunity that we miss out on.
Sometimes it's just because we didn't know there was an opportunity in the first
place. I have met so many people who've had crushes on friends or co-workers
who felt like the deck was stacked against, and so they never made a move. They
ended up as "just friends" and find out later that the other person felt the same
way, and had either one of them made a move, they might be together. A tragedy
of epic proportions.

Attraction and seduction can give you the awareness to see these kinds of
opportunities; to understand when the deck is truly stacked against you and when
you're the one in control.

Reason #3
Studying attraction and seduction will help you get to know yourself better.

A side effect of studying attraction and seduction is self-understanding. To
be a great student of attraction and seduction you must learn to put yourself in
other people’s shoes, to see the world from a variety of other perspectives. You
have to look at yourself through their eyes and ask if what you're doing is
seductive to them.

Reason #4
Studying attraction and seduction will improve your romantic, dating and
sex life, expand your social circles, and grow your network.

While studying attraction and seduction you're going to make friends. It's
going to happen. To practice you need to get out there and meet people, and as
you'll learn when we get deeper into the system – the first step is learning to
make people comfortable with you, and the second is to offer value. Doing this
will make you friends.

Put yourself in a woman's shoes: a guy walks up to you, he is very
comfortable to be around, he has great stories, an interesting personality, and
helped make the interaction more enjoyable. Would you want this guy in your
social circle? Of course.

Reason #5
Studying attraction and seduction will bring more adventure into your life.

People who study attraction and seduction have a great understanding of the
world around them, because the art form requires it. The more you know about
the world around you the more conversations you'll be part of, and even better,
the more conversations you'll be able to lead. This means getting to know your
city, getting to know your country, getting to know the culture around you, and
discovering as much as you can about the world.

Reason #6
Studying attraction and seduction will give you choice.

Imagine seeing a woman you’re interested in talking to – at a bar, in a
nightclub, on the street, or anywhere else. Now imagine you could walk right up
to her and start a conversation that leads to a romantic adventure. With practice,
you can have the ability to choose who you’d like to date, rather than hoping for
the best.

Reason #7
Studying attraction and seduction will give you a new perspective.

To be a great seducer you have to be able to see yourself from other people’s
perspectives; you need to understand how others view you, so that you can make
strategic decisions about which pieces of identity to share. By paying attention to
how other people think and feel, you’ll start to open up your mind to why others
do what they do – and that can change your life in more ways than I can possibly
contain in this short section.

Reason #8
Studying Attraction and Seduction will expand your horizons.

The more you know about the world, the more conversations you can be part
of, and, even better, the more conversations you can lead. All the guys I know
who study seduction are ravenous learners. They consume information faster
than anyone else I know.

If you study attraction and seduction, there will be a point where you’ll come
to realize that you’ve become more interested in absorbing new information. It’s
a great moment.

Reason #9
Studying attraction and seduction will make you more confident.

Ask most people what it takes to seduce another person and they’ll almost
invariably say, "confidence". For the most part, they’re right, confidence is a big
part of it, but you can’t just be confident. You have to cultivate confidence
through small successes. By practicing the techniques, and learning the
principles, you’ll start to see success on a small level, and over time those
successes will stack, giving you the confidence to be a great seducer.

Reason #10
Studying attraction and seduction will transform you into your best self.

The combination of self-awareness and social-awareness that comes from
studying attraction and seduction will make communication easier and more
effective for you. The confidence you’ll get from having put in the blood, sweat,
and tears it takes to learn this skill will give you confidence in all other areas of
your life. You’ll pick up new skills, go on new adventures, and have a legion of
new friends, and as many lovers as you could want. You’ll be a new person; the
best person you can be.

Reason #11
By studying attraction and seduction, you’ll make more money.

As we’ve mentioned before, seduction is not all about romance. It’s part of
business too. Becoming a better seducer means becoming better at
communication. The information you gain from studying attraction and
seduction will allow you to think steps ahead of others and be more strategic. It
will also help you navigate the complex social dynamics that exist in the
business world. As you practice, you’ll find that making deals, getting meetings,
and eventually making more money will come easier, because you’ll be more
aware of people’s needs and desires.

Reason #12
By studying attraction and seduction, you’ll have more sex.

Seduction for most people is about sex, romance and relationships. It’s the
number one goal for most of my students. If you put in the time to learn this
skill, not only will you end up having more sex, it will also be with the types of
women you desire, in the kinds of relationships that you want to have.
________________________

Learn Attraction and Seduction Fast!

Learning a new skill is sometimes hard. Neil Strauss has tips and insights for you that make learning
Attraction and Seduction easier and faster, visit:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 6:
How to Apply the
Attract and Seduce 4-Step System

"The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness

into our awareness."
- Lao Tzu

Way before I started teaching seduction, I studied martial arts. My teacher
was awesome – a guy who could walk into any school of martial arts, watch
them move, and apply their techniques to himself. He was never shy about how
he did it. The key was in his understanding of two particular words. Hearing the
two words over and over again, and understanding their meaning, significantly
changed my life. Here are the two words:

Principle
Technique

So, what's the difference? Why are these two words so important? Well, if
you understand their importance and meaning in the context of learning an art
form, they make learning anything much easier.

A principle is universal. That means a principle of attraction and seduction
holds true no matter who's doing the attracting and seducing or what realm of
seduction you're playing in: Business, Politics, or Romance.

For example, if the principle of starting a conversation is "make the person
or group comfortable" then that holds true whether you're a woman seducing a
man, or a man seducing a woman. It holds true in romantic seductions, business
seductions, and political seductions. The principle always remains the same;
techniques however, differ from situation to situation.

In martial arts, there's no one punch that wins all fights. In seduction, there's
no one technique for making friends with everyone, or getting the woman of
your dreams into bed. Techniques are expressions of their respective
principles, and are meant to be used for specific times and places.

The key in martial arts and seduction is the same: You practice techniques to
gain better understanding of the underlying principles. That means if you want to
learn attraction and seduction, practice the techniques, but always keep the
principles in mind. You may intellectually understand the principle, but that’s
not the same as experiencing the principle. Techniques help you learn the
principles through experience. That’s why you practice them.

So, later on when I teach you about starting conversations, I'm going to teach
you the principle and then some techniques. The techniques I offer in this book
and online are foolproof for very particular situations. They’ve been thoroughly
tested and are great for you to practice.

How to Practice Attraction and Seduction Techniques:

Attraction and seduction is a skill set like any other, meaning it requires
practice. This book has all the lessons for you to learn the skill, but you're going
to have to put the time in to practice it. Check out the instructional videos –
you'll find a link to at the end of every chapter. I even have a practice schedule
up for you, if you want to see what a good week of practice is like.



The World is Your Dojo:

Unlike martial arts, there are no physical schools for learning attraction and
seduction. We don't have dojos or playing fields to practice on. But we still have
a classroom of sorts. Every place you choose to practice, whether it be a
nightclub, a coffee shop, a shopping mall, or the beach is your classroom. Treat
it as such, when you practice:

Don't get drunk.
Have a study plan.
Do your homework.
Treat the place with respect.
Plan regular hours to practice.

For years I've been hearing the same thing about practice. "Doing all this
new stuff makes me feel weird around my friends." Here's a suggestion: Don't
practice around your friends.

Think of it like this: when you go to a sport practice, you don't bring all your
friends who aren't interested in the sport to practice with you. It would be weird
if they were there, and they probably wouldn't have a good time. You have to
think of this art just like practicing any other; only practice with other people
who are interested in learning this art form. If no one else is interested, practice
on your own.

5 Things A New Student Can Do To Prepare for Their Seduction
Education

I imagine that if you’re reading this you’re ready to put a whole lot of energy
into the art form. That’s great! Here are a few ideas for new students to help you
before you even start:

1. Set time aside: This is going to be the most important step for any
newbie. Set time aside on a calendar that you know will be solely used to
practice whatever material you’re learning. I suggest, at minimum, one day a
week, for three hours. For guys practicing in bars and clubs, do it stone cold
sober.

2. Practice material: Find material you like and practice it. This is vital in
the early stages. You need something solid to work on. Don’t just jump into sets
with people doing the same old thing you’ve always done. I suggest an opinion
opener like Cashmere Sweater or Drunk-I-Love-You to start. Practice something
new, something that takes you out of your comfort zone. As our coach Jonny
Cruz says, "Get uncomfortable."

3. If you need a push, buy one: There are two ways you can do this. The
first is to go out with a friend, hand him a $200 bill, and have him return $20 for
every approach you make. The second is to take a bootcamp. I suggest the
Stylelife Bootcamps, because I teach for Stylelife and because our bootcamps
are awesome. Sometimes, you just need a kick in the ass. Stylelife is here to
give you that kick in the ass, possibly a few.

4. Read and write more: You’re going to want to improve your verbal
capacity; reading and writing are the best way to do that. So, pick up at least one
book a month and read it. Get in a writing habit, because you’re going to have to
write field reports: detailed descriptions of what happens each night you
practice. It is truly rare to see a student get good at this without writing things
down.

5. Get a wingman and practice with a friend: Many of my students like to
go out and practice in pairs, as wingmen. It can be fun and helpful to have a
friend around. Here’s how you can make the most of practicing with a friend:

Pick your practice - Decide what you’re going out to practice. It
should be something specific, like an opener or a routine. Before you go
out, make sure you both know what you’re going to be working on and
make a plan.

Know your material - Before you go out, make sure you understand
what kinds of routines, openers, and stories you each like to tell. Let
your partner know where you’re at in your practice. Are you working on
opening? Are you working on Seeding Dates? Are you working on
building value? You and your friend should be clear on what you know
and what you’re practicing.

Reward Motivation - This is a technique to help motivate you when
you’re out with a friend. Give your friend $100 and for each approach
you make, he gives you back $20. Let’s say you have three hours to
 approach five groups of people or individual women or he keeps the
remaining money.

Approach Alone - When making approaches, one guy should walk up
and then the wing should follow once the first person has started
conversation. Two guys walking up to a group together makes it more
obvious that you’re there to hit on them, and our goal is to be subtle. So,
walk up alone, then have your friend approach once you’ve progressed
from the opener to conversation.

Secret Codes - Sometimes you’re going to want to communicate with
your wingman without saying something out-loud. By the way, many
women are masters of communicating in code with their friends on a
girl's night out.

I suggest creating a code that you can use to communicate simple messages.
Here’s an example of a code I used to use when my friend approached:

If I point with one finger when my friend approaches, it means that’s
the woman I’m interested in. This lets him know to steer clear of her,
while helping to build comfort with her friends.
If I point with two fingers, it means that I can’t remember the person’s
name. It’s his cue to introduce himself to that person, and ask their
name.
If I point with three fingers it means, I’d like him to help me politely
eject from this group. There are some conversations you don’t want to
be in, and sometimes it can be tough to leave. Having a friend come
over and say, “Hey, you need to close out your tab,” or something
similar can allow you to leave without being rude.

Debrief Afterwards - This is probably the most important part of working
with a friend. Either when you get home, or the next day, sit down with your
friend and go over what you did wrong and what you did right. Start to plan out
your next practice session based on your debrief sessions.

Respect Your Wingman Friend - Some guys like to tease each other
relentlessly. This is great for when you’re hanging out together, but not for
attraction and seduction. When you and your friend are in a group together, you
should always be propping each other up, never tearing each other down. In
addition, don’t let other people tear your partner down. Stand up for him and
make sure he stands up for you. You’re in it together.

One of the most powerful symbols that you're an interesting person is that
you have interesting people around you. People who are not only fun to be
around, but people who are just as interesting as you are.
Picture this: You're out at a bar or club and you approach a woman. You're
the wing tonight, so you introduce your buddy and let everyone in the group
know that he's an amazing guy. You just made him interesting, but you didn't do
anything for yourself, right?

Wrong.

In fact, you've just totally set yourself up to be a super cool guy, because you
convey respect for someone you care about. While you're giving social value to
the guy you're winging for, you're also creating high social value for yourself in
this situation. After all, if you're with this totally awesome dude, how awesome
does that make you?

Pretty awesome.

This applies basically everywhere in life. Whether you're out at a bar or club,
or just meeting people at a business conference or even trying to make new
friends when you move to a new city. If you're around people who are
interesting, people are going to assume that you're interesting yourself. If you
introduce others as being fascinating, interesting people, others are going to want
to know what you're hiding under your hat.

So, as a conclusion for this chapter, I want you to go find a wingman, share
and discuss what you want to learn first and then go out.

See you in the field!
________________________
 Get Your Wingman!
For this chapter I have created a downloadable Cheat Sheet with Wing Rules and a PDF that you can
use when you are with your wingman in the field:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 7:
Step #1: The Secret of the Opening Line

"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of
love." - Mother Teresa

Over the years, I’ve heard one consistent complaint that bring students to
me: “I don’t have the confidence to approach strangers, let alone beautiful
women, because I just don’t know what to say.”

I understand. It was tough for me to learn how to walk up and talk to
complete strangers; to make the cold approach. However, it needs to be done,
because it’s what will give you real choice. It’s what will give you the ability to
say, “I want to talk to that person,” and then actually do it.

One of my fellow coaches reminisced with me about one of his first cold
approaches: "I saw this girl on the subway. She was standing right near me. I
looked at her knowing I was going to have to approach her. This is why I was
doing it right? To approach the people I want to be able to talk to, I looked at her
again ready to make my move, but I couldn’t move. My feet felt like they were
cemented into the ground. My heart was beating faster, and I felt like I had
tunnel vision. I couldn’t do it."

 Now, after practicing, he’s managed to become the kind of guy that can
approach anyone, even high-caliber women, with confidence.

How does he do it?

Well, he uses a conversation starter, commonly referred to as an “opener.”

An opener is a scripted line that helps to start a conversation, and most
importantly, makes the person or group comfortable talking with you.

Think about it this way: If you are approached by a complete stranger, what
would you be thinking? What does he want from me? Why should I answer?
How long do I have to talk to him? These questions, if they go unanswered
would make you uncomfortable, and you’d probably not want them around.

So here is the principle: To start a conversation with strangers you must
make them comfortable talking with you.

Why?

If anything you say or do feels uncomfortable, they'll probably run for the
hills as fast as possible. This is why guys are rejected so often when they
approach, because they make the woman and/or her friends uncomfortable.

Here are five golden rules for starting conversations:

1. Say something that’s interesting.
Whatever comes out of your mouth should arouse curiosity. It doesn’t have
to blow their minds, but it does have to get the group talking.

2. Say something that leads to more conversation.
Conversation has to move forward. Generally making a statement doesn’t
lead to more conversation, so try using a question. Questions like, “What's the
time?” or “Where’s the bathroom?” generally don’t work because the group
simply answers them expecting you to move on. In addition, they’re not
interesting.

3. Say something that expresses a little about yourself.
Everything you say and do when you’re with someone reveals something
about yourself. Be aware that the way you start a conversation says something
about you. By using an opening line you can actually start to control the
assumptions people make about you when you approach. Think about what the
things you’re asking say about you.

4. Make sure they know that you can’t stay long.
This may sound counter-intuitive, but when you approach, you should
always say something to the effect of, “I can’t stay long.” The reason for this is
when a stranger approaches a person or group, that person or group has a
moment of anxiety that makes them feel uncomfortable. Especially if they think
that they are going to be stuck with the new person talking their ear off. To
alleviate this anxiety, it’s important to let them know, right away, that you’re
leaving soon.

Now, obviously, we approached because we want to continue conversation.
Don’t worry; you don’t actually have to leave. You just have to say that you
can’t stay long. If you’re able to make them comfortable they won’t bring up
that you said you had to leave. In fact, in all the approaches I’ve ever done, I’ve
never had anyone bring it up.

5. Make sure you give them a reason for whatever you’re saying.
You don’t want to appear as though you’re doing market research or some
sort of survey, so always give a reason for saying whatever you were going to
say. You’ll see examples of these reasons in the openers in this book and on the
website.

How to practice starting a conversation
Now that you have the golden rules down it’s time to learn the words, but
before I get to the openers let me give you some tips for practicing them:

1. Memorize and rehearse: Make sure you know what you’re saying, if you
fumble with the words people will get confused. If they get confused, they may
reject you. It’s just that people get uncomfortable when they’re confused, and
they reject people they’re uncomfortable with. If you learn the opener, have it
down, word for word. If you can't rehearse at home, do it in the car while you’re
driving. You’ll be able to repeat the portion they didn’t hear or were confused
about.

2. Go out and practice. These things take time to practice. You’re not going
to get these down perfectly in a night, and it’s going to take more than one
approach to get them down. That means you need to put practice time in, don’t
email me if it doesn’t work on the first try. That would be like taking one martial
arts class, learning one punch, that you practice once, and then blaming the
teacher for teaching you something that didn’t work. It’s a skill and it takes
practice.

3. Add body language: Here's a little secret: Point your feet away from the
person or group you are beginning a conversation with. When you say, “I can’t
stick around long,” It’ll be more effective if your body language is consistent
with your words. When people who are really in a hurry or aren’t planning on
sticking around, they keep their bodies facing the direction they’re going. Do the
same; keep your feet pointed away.

Now, onto two of my favorite openers:

Opener #1: The Cashmere Sweater Opener

"Hey, quick question, I have to take off in a minute, but I wanted to get your
advice about something. I’m supposed to help my friend pick out a cashmere
sweater for his sister’s birthday. I had him check her size and she wears all
smalls and mediums. So, my question is: If someone bought you a gift would
you rather it be a little too small or a little too big?"

Opener #2: The Drunk I-Love-You Opener

"Hey, quick question. Maybe you can help with this one: Do drunk "I-love-
yous” count? Like if someone’s drunk and they say they love you. Does that
count? The reason I’m asking is because one of my buddies is going to be here
in a few minutes and he asked me something I couldn’t really give him an
answer to – It’s kind of a relationship question. This girl, who he’s been into
since college, finally opened up to him last night and said she was in love with
him. The problem is, she was drunk and she hasn’t mentioned anything since.
What should I tell him to do?"

Learning to start conversations with ease takes time, there are a lot more tips
and tricks you can employ to make it easier or refine your delivery.

For many more openers, check out the online bonus training section at the
end of this chapter.

Creating your own opener:

Once you’ve practiced one of the openers, you can start to toy around with
the idea of building your own opener. Because your main goal when starting a
conversation is to make the person feel conformable talking to you, an opener
should contain certain elements to achieve this goal. First and foremost, you
have to answer the questions in their mind before they even think them.

A fair warning: I don’t think that new students should be creating their own
material. It would be like going into a martial arts class and just deciding to
make up your own moves, but I know that many of you are going to try so here
are some guidelines:

1. Why is he talking to me? Make sure your opener has a "root." In other
words, you must have a reason that you’re saying whatever you’re saying. It
could be that you need help to select a sweater, or to choose a name, a dish in a
restaurant. It could be that you are looking for an opinion, an answer or advice
and she looks like she can help. Either way there has to be a reason for the
approach.

2. When will he leave? Make sure that your openers have a time constraint.
That means letting the person know you can’t stay long. Maybe you have to
catch a plane, get back to your friends, go to a meeting, etc. The main point is to
let the person know that you are not going to latch onto them for an extended
period of time.

3. Make sure the topic is interesting; this can serve as a springboard for
discussions and should end with a question that can lead to more conversation.

4. Is he hitting on me? Don’t start with a compliment, make it sexual or
convey that you are interested. First of all, you really don't know her - so how
can you already be interested in anything more than her looks? Secondly,
indicating your interest early on can make women uncomfortable, and it’s bad
seductive timing.

5. If you’re going to create an own opener, practice it regularly. You need to
work out the kinks, and you can’t work them all out in your head, they need to
be field-tested.

________________________

More Openers Please?!

You want more openers? Or create your own openers? Download additional brand-new openers (we
are constantly updating this file) or the "Opener Worksheet" that helps you build your own. As a bonus you
can listen to an
audio on practicing openers:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________






 Chapter 8:
The Bridging Technique:
Keep Talking!

"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it
will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only
plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

You might think that the biggest problem I've run into as a seduction coach
was getting guys to approach intimidating beautiful women, but you’d be wrong.
The biggest problem, by far, was getting guys to not run away after a few
minutes talking to a group of strangers.

Most of the time, a student would walk up, open, get the conversation going,
get nervous, and eject from the group. When I'd ask why the student left, the
answer would invariably be, "I couldn't think of anything else to say."

Here's the thing: you do have something to say. In fact, you have lots of
things to say. You're just freezing up, because you are likely worried about
judgment from the group. Or you are overthinking the group's opinion of you.

First piece of advice: Don't panic. This happens to most students and there’s
a way to fix it. It's called "bridging."

Bridge: The all-purpose conversational linking technique

A bridge can be any question or any observation.

 A bridge is a way to propel a conversation forward and steer it in the
direction you want it to go. The first bridge generally happens right after the
opener; you ask a question or make an observation. The question or observation
should lead to a value building routine or story.

This technique was developed when a fellow coach and I were discussing
the "I have nothing to say" phenomenon, which consistently plagues our
students. At the time, we didn’t teach a technique for strategically evolving a
conversation on the spot. We sat down and thought about what drives interaction
forwards. We noticed two things:

1. People would make contextual observations, or
2. People ask questions seemingly out of nowhere.

Here are a few examples:

"So, how's work?"
"How's your wife doing?"
"You remind me of this teacher I had."
"I love the music here."
"How do you all know each other?"
"I love your necklace."

Everyone, in every conversation we observed, used questions and
observations to propel conversation forward. Stack enough of questions and
observations together and you can easily extend the length of a conversation, ad
infinitum. And when we extracted this pattern, we knew immediately that this
was our answer.

However, as seducers we want to be a little more strategic. Can we use
bridging to not only propel conversation forward, but also to steer it where we
wanted it to go? Absolutely.

Let's say you want to talk about music: You can make an observation about
the music in the room.

 Let's say you want to talk about work: You could ask where someone works.

Let's say you want to talk about travel: You could ask, "Do you do much
traveling?"

To look at it another way: You could ask the question, "How do you all
know each other?"

There are only a few answers to the question:
"We work together."
"We're related."
"We're in a romantic relationship."
"We're roommates."
"We go to school together."
"We're friends."

Knowing this ahead of time - I suggest having a story ready about work, a
sibling (or lack thereof), a romantic relationship, a roommate, school, and a close
friend. This way no matter what answer you get, you're a step ahead and ready
to move things forward.

For right now, it's important to see that a bridge can steer conversation. Later
on we'll discuss how to bridge into an identity story (chapter 11) or a knowledge
based identity story (chapter 10). The better you get at asking questions and
making observations, the easier it will be to find places for your stories in your
seductions. You can find more information on Bridging, The Ring Finger
Routine, The Best Friends Test, and Identity Storytelling, by following the
instructions at the end of this chapter.

Tips for bridging:

Keep the bridges non-physical when you're first learning this skill.
Observations about body language are great, but one's about her
attractiveness will come off as hitting on her. Don't do that.
One of the best bridges to use after the opener is: "How do you all
know each other?" It gives you valuable information about the
 dynamics of the group you're speaking with.
Bridges are used throughout an interaction, not just after the opener.
Anytime you need to move the conversation forward or steer it, a
bridge can be applied.
Bridges are great for leading to conversations where you can
express who you are to the other person. If you are a musician and
want to talk about music, make an observation about the music in
the venue. If you love your job and want to talk about a work
related story ask, "Do you all work together?" Get their answers and
tell your story.
For guys who feel like they always run out of stuff to say, try using
a bridge when you hit that mental block. Make any observation or
ask any question, then see where the conversation goes.

________________________

More How-To Video and Audios

There are how-to videos, cheat sheets that help you memorize and step-by-step exercises that go along
with
each chapter and a community of fellow students.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 9:
Step #2: The Three Keys to Build Attraction and
Become the Most Interesting Guy in the Room

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of
value." - Albert Einstein

I'm going to teach you the three steps to becoming the most attractive and
interesting guy in the room. It is vital that you memorize each of them.
Download the cheat sheet that I’ll give you at the end of this chapter or write
steps down and memorize them.

What is social value and what does building it mean?

Social value is a combination of your looks, your reputation, what you
do, and what you say in a given social situation. That means if you’re good-
looking, famous, and charming you’ll have a lot of value in a room. Right?

Of course it does! However, just because they’re attractive in one room
doesn’t mean they are in the next, because social value is conditional. You
don’t get any social value for being good looking if the people you’re interacting
with think you’re ugly. You don’t get any value for being famous if the people
you’re speaking with don’t know you’re famous. What’s charming to one person
might be unattractive to the next.

 Your value changes from interaction to interaction, and the value of each of
your qualities is based on the people or person you’re talking with. It’s based on
their perspective of the identity you’re conveying. Great seducers must learn to
see themselves from the eyes of others. This helps them calculate the most
efficient and effective way to build value with a person or group.

We’re going to talk about three active ways to build value: Routines, Identity
Stories, and Active Disinterest. Later in the book we’ll discuss two passive ways
to build value: looks and reputation.

Looks and reputation are passive, meaning that you don’t have to do
anything to get them to work; people either think you’re good looking or not.
They either know who you are and what you’ve done or they don’t. For this
reason, we’re going to focus on the active aspects, the stuff that takes infield
practice to master.

For purposes of practice: always assume that the group or person isn’t
attracted to you physically, and doesn’t know anything about you. If in
conversation, you find out that the girl you’re interested in is attracted to you or
has heard about you in a positive way, it’s a bonus.

How do you build high value in a social setting?

One of the biggest problems I see with most men who study attraction and
seduction is this: they try to get what they want before they've built enough
social value. You must learn to build high social value, and you must learn to
build a lot of it!

Social value is like money. If you want the Aston Martin, you're going to
need the $150,000 it costs to purchase it. If you don't have the money, you're just
window-shopping. Similarly, if you don't have enough social value, you're not
going to get her number, your dates will flake, and your seduction will fail.

That said, here are the three steps you'll need to use to actively build social
value:

 Key #1: Knowledge Based Social Value (Generating Social Value with
What You Know)

In movies the "player” is generally portrayed as a guy with a gimmick. He
has some trick or game that he uses to charm and seduce the women he meets.
While tricks and gimmicks won’t get you love, they will help you add value in a
seduction. They’re a piece of the puzzle. If you want to become the most
interesting guy in the room, you should memorize a few routines – magic tricks,
bar cons, psychology games, or cold reads – to have on hand to liven up the
atmosphere. The more entertaining routines you know and can perform, the
more interesting and fun you'll be. The knowledge based games and routines are
by no means the only way you build social value, but they can come in handy
with the right timing.

Key #2: Wisdom-based Social Value (Generating Social Value with
Your Life Story)

This is going to be the cornerstone of your social value building. Wisdom-
based value building is all about your perspective of the world. Wait a minute,
you might think. My life has not been that exciting. What if I don’t have any
stories that can impress a group of people?

Don’t worry; you don’t need to be well traveled, have a crazy adventurous
life or a high paying job. Don’t get me wrong – that definitely helps, but it’s not
necessary. Generating value with your life story is about sharing your
perspective of reality; not bragging. It's about lessons you’ve learned about life.
Start by answering the following questions:

Where have you been?

Example: When I first arrived in Indonesia to study martial arts…
What lessons have you learned about life?

Example: My first job at the animal shelter showed me how important
animals can be to a child…

 What events have shaped your life?

Example: The moment I first heard a Metallica song I knew I’d have to start
playing guitar…

What hobbies do you have?

Example: I grew up watching anime and have always wanted to be able to
move like a ninja, so a few months ago I started parkour classes…

What are your preferences?

Example: My favorite food is pasta, because my grandmother made it for us
every Sunday…

You're going to have to take those answers and use them to construct
"identity stories". Identity Storytelling is a technique for learning basic
storytelling and discovering how to express who you are. You’ll be taking a look
at your preferences and experiences, and learning to talk about them in a
seductive way that will make you more attractive to your audience. These stories
are efficient ways to communicate who you are (your identity) to other people.

Key #3: Active Disinterest

Have you ever had someone tell you that the best way to pick up a woman is
to be an asshole? Or that women like bad boys? Or that good guys finish last?
Have you ever thought about why being "bad" might be attractive?

It's a pretty simple psychological trigger. People – women and men – want
what they can't have. It's the scarcity and it's the challenge. It's the hope that
there is more than meets the eye. Seduction isn’t about being a jerk. Jerks are not
attractive; their attitudes create permanent emotional barriers

On the other hand, the nice guy puts up no barriers. There’s no challenge and
he comes off as needy, and that’s equally unattractive.

 You’re looking for the middle ground. You can’t create a permanent barrier
by being mean and offensive, but there has to be some tension to create
attraction. This middle ground is found by studying active disinterest.

How does it work? It's about learning how to create temporary barrier
that together you can overcome together.

Everyone wants the things that are just out of reach, and seduction is based
on desires that spring from unfulfilled longings, insecurities and dreams. In order
for you to want something, something else has to be missing. This is true
whether you know about seduction or not. We’re all looking for the missing half
of our broken-heart necklace, in one form or another.

I want the car because it will make me feel powerful.
I want a boyfriend so I won't feel alone.
I want the supermodel so my friends will be jealous.
I want the job so my parents will be proud of me.

Active disinterest assists in the generation of attraction by making yourself
the thing they're missing – the thing that will give the other person what they
need to fulfill their insecurity, longing or dream. This is the most
counterintuitive part of social value building, because it means that you're
demonstrating that you are not interested in an effort to pique interest. There are
a million ways to show active disinterest, but the overall goal is to create an
emotional spike.

Every seduction is a story.

Don't believe me? Ask any person you know to tell you how they met their
husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend and you will inevitably hear a story. That story
will have emotional ups and downs in it.

All good stories have emotional spikes.

In almost every romantic comedy: A guy meets a girl, and there’s some
reason they can’t be together, and as the movie goes on they learn to dissolve
that barrier and find love. If that barrier weren’t there, the story would be
boring.

We need emotional ups and downs to help us remember and enjoy a story. A
great seducer can make life a really, really great story. Which means when you
display active disinterest and add those emotional ups and downs, you make this
story fun and exciting for both of you.

Over the next few chapters, I'll delve deeper into these three steps. You'll
learn routines, a method for building identity stories, and ways to start practicing
active disinterest.

Get ready to take some notes, and if you have your computer out that'd be
good too. For more examples of the techniques and routines, visit the website at
the end of each chapter.
________________________

Where Does Attraction Come From?

Have you ever wondered why we feel attraction to other people? Is it a choice, free will or chemistry.
Read in this book review of "The Red Queen" what is behind the mystery. You'll find it here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________










 Chapter 10:
Key 1: Never Run Out of Things to Say

"I'm hungry for knowledge. The whole thing is to learn every day, to get
brighter and brighter. That's what this world is about. You look at someone like
Gandhi, and he glowed. Martin Luther King glowed. Muhammad Ali glows. I
think that's from being bright all the time, and trying to be brighter." - Jay-Z

By now, you've noticed that there are instructions at the end of each chapter
that lead you to videos you can watch and cheat sheets you can download -- be
sure to check that out. Stylelife has a number of videos of the knowledge-based
social value generators that I mention in this chapter up on their site. Please
check them out!

That said, let's get on with it…

There are two different types of social value generating stories. The first type
is a knowledge-based story – also called a routine.

What are routines?

Routines are little social games, personality exercises, gimmicks, magic
tricks, thought experiments, captivating stories, riddles, or bets that help
you entertain a person or group of people.

Routines are pretty straightforward. You memorize the routine then share it
with the people you’re trying to entertain. Any person, who can deliver a good
routine, becomes the center of attention and Demonstrate High social Value
(DHV). The more DHV routines you know, the more entertaining you can be.

The reason they work so well is that they provide fun and energetic dynamic
to the social situation. A routine has to be something interesting that raises the
energy of the group, and provides an entertaining element to the interaction.

Entering a group and lowering the energy level isn’t generally a good thing.
You’re taking value in the form of energy. We don’t want to take energy; we
want to give it or at least keep the energy level the same.

So you get an idea of what I’m talking about: Imagine you’re in a bar with
friends. You’re joking and laughing having a great time and someone
approaches you and your friends. He’s a little down, and so suddenly the fun you
and your friends were having starts to slip away. That’s going to make you feel
uncomfortable with that guy, right? You probably wouldn’t want him around for
long.

Now a different story: You and you’re friends are hanging out having a good
time. Someone approaches. He walks up and tells a fascinating story –
something that gets everyone excited to hear more. Chances are you’re not
uncomfortable around this guy, and would want him to stick around. He’s
adding value to the group.

These routines, when performed correctly, should add value to the group by
raising the energy level and keeping the group intrigued.

Hook Point

The moment the group is comfortable with you enough to carry on a
conversation, you’ve reached "hook point". All value-generating routines will
start after you’ve reached this hook point. In other words, routines are used after
you’ve started a conversation. They’re not intended to start conversations
themselves, although it’s not uncommon that someone who sees or hears you
doing a routine will butt in and join the fun.

Selecting a Routine

There is an endless selection of routines out there to choose from.
Just to name a few: Cold Reads, Psychology Games, Bar-Cons, Magic Tricks.
Having a number of different routines under your belt will help you out in the
long run. The more routines you have, the more flexible you’ll be when you’re
out practicing.

For example, I’ve found bar-cons to be great games to play at
parties and lower-energy bars. I’ve found cold reads to benefit me anywhere that
someone doesn’t have trouble hearing me, while magic tricks can be great for
loud clubs, especially if the illusion is visual. Psychology games work best for
me when I’m sitting with new acquaintances, like at dinner parties and social
events where I already know a good amount of people.

As you practice these routines, you’ll find that your experience is a
little different than mine. I have friends who can perform illusions almost
anywhere and others who rely solely on cold reading. The point is, test all of
them (even if that means stepping outside your comfort zone), and then decide
which work better for you. Just don’t ignore them completely.

I've included a sample routine at the end of the chapter, but
remember there are training videos in the bonus section.

Polishing a Routine: Turning a Routine into a Story

Once you have a few routines memorized and have experimented
with them a bit, you’ll find that sometimes they can feel like they’re a little too
non sequitur.

These are interactive stories that you're telling, and while they may
be entertaining, you are not meant to be entertainment. You don’t
want to feel like you’re standing on a stage performing routine after
routine. You can prevent this by not doing any more than two
during a single environment on the same night.

Spend some time memorizing how these routines work. The better
you know them, the easier it will be to insert them into your
seduction. Most of these routines are not inherently romantic, which
means you can practice them on friends and family before you start
using them for cold approaches.

Try not to use all the routines you know early on in a seduction.
Save some of them for the date, or later on in the interaction.

Now let's take a look at a fully fleshed out routine.

The Ring Finger Routine:
Deconstructing Knowledge Based Value Generators

One routine that I've been teaching for years, and have seen work over and
over again, is The-Ring-Finger routine.

Take a look at the routine I've laid out here. Pay attention to the structure. If
you like the routine – try it out, make it yours. If you’re not interested in it, you
can find more routines at the end of the chapter.

Part 1: The Set-up

Start the routine with a story. The story should be a short explanation that
gives context on the routine you're about to present. Start with where did you
learned it and why you're bringing it up. The point of having the set up –
sometimes-called a "root" – is to make things seem less random by adding
context, and to provide them with some information about yourself.

Here’s an example of a set-up for the "Ring Finger" routine:

When you notice a ring on someone's finger, point it out and say, "I have a
friend who was into mythology and she taught me that the finger you wear your
ring on says something about your personality. In ancient times, each finger
represented a different Greek god. Praise was given to a particular god by the
finger or fingers one chose to wear rings on."

Part 2: The Routine/Knowledge-based Story

Here you're going to play the game, perform the cold-read, or do the magic
trick. Whatever skill or knowledge you think would be valuable to present at this
time in conversation goes here, always after the set-up.

Continued Example for the "Ring Finger" routine:

THE THUMB: "The thumb represents Poseidon, god of the sea. He was
very independent. He was the only god who didn't live on Mount Olympus.
People who wear thumb rings are independent and don't follow trends, preferring
instead to set their own."

THE INDEX FINGER: "The index finger represents Zeus, king of all gods,
and the God of Thunder and Lightning. It's a very dominant finger, and having a
ring on that finger means you tend to be a dominant person. It shows power and
immense energy."

THE MIDDLE FINGER: "Your middle finger represents Dionysus, god of
wine and partying. He is a very irreverent God. A ring there means you do
whatever you want and care little of what others think." Give her the bird and
say, "It's like a screw you to the world when you're wearing a ring on that
finger." (This joke always gets a laugh.)

THE RING FINGER: If she has a ring on this left hand ring finger ask, "Is
that a wedding ring or do you just wear it to keep the jerks away?" You'll be
shocked how often she isn't married. If she's married, you can run the routine for
practice or to attract her friends – "Your ring finger is Aphrodite, goddess of
love. That's why it's the wedding ring finger. It's the only finger with a vein
straight to the heart without branching off. When someone puts a ring on it,
they're making a direct connection with your heart."

THE PINKY: "The pinky represents Ares, god of war. That's why mobsters
wear pinky rings." Ask her, "Did you buy the ring yourself or did someone give
you it?" If she bought it say, "At times you're at war with yourself; you have an
inner emotional conflict. There's something you're not comfortable with about
yourself." If she received the ring from someone tell her, "There may be tension
below the surface between you two or some unresolved problems you haven't
solved yet."

 NO RING: If she's not wearing any rings, instead ask, "Out of curiosity –
and I'll explain why I'm asking later – when you wear rings, what fingers are
they usually on?" Then you can start the routine as presented at the top.

Part 3: The Conclusion

After you have performed the routine, you're going to make a point about its
relevance and the reason you have shared it. Or use the conclusion to
springboard into more conversation.

For the Ring-Finger routine, I like to use it to springboard into more
conversation: "I'm not sure if you've ever been around someone so much that
you start picking up some of their quirks, but I always find myself looking at
what rings people wear, because I was around my friend so much. Have any of
you had that experience before?"

Examples for other routines for which you can watch training videos and
download cheat sheets:

• The Cube (Watch Neil Straus on video in the bonus training section)
• Strawberry Fields
• Five Questions Game (Watch Neil Strauss on video in the bonus
training section)
• Style’s Eliciting Values
• Astrology
• Palm Reading
• Rune Reading
• Numerology
• The Best Friends Test
• Heat Reading Illusion
• Penny, Nicholas, Dime
• Beer Faster than a Shot Bar Con

Excerpt from Neil Strauss' best-selling book "The Game" (p. 159):

So now that I’d opened the set, it was time to demonstrate value and blow
Heidi out. I ran a piece I’d invented after meeting the fake sisters in Miami— the
best friends test.
“I have to ask you guys: How long have you known each other?” I began.
“About six years,” one of the girls said.
“I could totally tell.”
“How?”
“Rather than explain, I’ll give you two the best friends test.”
The girls leaned in toward me, thrilled by the idea of an innocuous test.
Guys in the community have an expression for this phenomenon: I was giving
them “chick crack”. Most women, they say, respond to routines involving tests,
psychological games, fortune-telling, and cold-reading like addicts respond to
free drugs.
“Okay,” I said, as if I were about to ask a serious question. The girls
huddled in closer. “Do you both use the same shampoo?”
They looked at each other to decide on an answer, then turned to me and
opened their mouths to speak.
“The answer doesn’t matter,” I cut them off. “You already passed.”
“But we don’t use the same shampoo,” one of the girls said.
“But you both looked at each other before you answered. See, if you didn’t
know each other well, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people
have a connection, they look at each other first and communicate almost
telepathically before answering. They don’t even need to speak to each other.”
The two girls looked at each other again.
“See,” I exclaimed. “You’re doing it right now.”
They burst out laughing. Big points for Style.

________________________

Watch How It's Done On Video

Much of the success of a routine depends on its delivery. Which is why I have prepare a few video for
you in which you'll see how "The Cube" or "The 5 Question Game" are performed. I also added a few extra
"Cheat Sheets" for palm reading and eye accessing cues. Access it here"
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
 ________________________

 Chapter 11:
Key 2: Be Fascinating and Stay Authentic: The
"Identity Storytelling" Technique

"Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion. " -
Aristotle

Every great seducer is a storyteller in some fashion – they use stories to
express identity and take people on emotional journeys.

So, what is identity? Why's that important?

There are countless philosophers who've written about identity and all the
ways to interpret it.

For our purposes, let's think of it like this: Everything you say or do in tells
the person or people you’re interacting with something about you – what you
wear, how you look, and what you say – all of it matters.

It's like handing each person you meet puzzle pieces that they put together in
their heads. The end result is a picture of who they individually think you are. In
other words, they make judgments based on the pieces you give them and then
they categorize you. Each category comes with its own judgments based on that
person’s experiences.

Every person takes these shortcuts. The human brain is programmed to
categorize new information; to make judgments so it can understand the world
quickly. Your brain does it too. If it didn't do that, you'd experience complete
and utter chaos, every single day.

Here’s something almost every guy does wrong: When an average man
meets a new woman he is just tossing puzzle pieces to her without really
understanding the total puzzle picture she is drawing of him. This can be
disastrous.

As a master of attraction and seduction, you want to get some level of
control over those pieces. You're looking to give women the pieces that will be
most attractive to them, and then share the identity you want them to see. That's
where Identity Storytelling comes in.

"Identity Storytelling" is a technique in which you share your own authentic
insights, experiences, opinions and learning in an emotional way that makes you
interesting, intriguing and entertaining.

You might think, "But I'm not interesting and I don't have many interesting
things to say."

Wrong!

Even someone who has never experienced anything exciting can still have
insights and wisdom about life. Let me explain:

Identity stories can be about anything: Your hobbies, the places you’ve
visited, events in your life, your job, your friends, your preferences, your goals –
anything.

One of my favorite examples about the effect of Identity Storytelling came
from a student I had a few years ago. He was meeting up with me to get some
advice on meeting women. The conversation went on for a while and I decided
to share "Identity Storytelling" with him – which, at the time, I'd never taught
before. A year later, I bumped into him again at one of Neil's events, and asked
him how everything was going. He told me, "That Identity Storytelling thing
worked pretty well."

"Oh yeah? Tell me about it," I prompted.

"Well I ended up using it at work. The company I was working for was
trying to hire this one particular business. I told a story about what the company
I wanted them to work with meant to me. And by the end of the meeting we'd
made a deal to go with them. That decision made the company about four
million dollars. So, thanks for your advice."

The Identity Storytelling Exercise:

Here is a three-step exercise called "Identity Storytelling" that will help you
learn to express your identity, while simultaneously learning basic story telling
structure.

Three Steps to telling an identity story:

1. Start at the beginning: Think about a topic that you'll want to talk about,
what you're going to say, and practice by introducing your stories with a feeling
and an experience or preference. Here are some examples:

• "The most exciting adventure I ever went on was..."
• "My favorite band is..."
• "The most influential person I ever met was..."
• "My favorite bar to visit is...
• "The movie I love the most is..."

2. Lead their emotions when telling the story: Here's the only thing you
need to remember about Identity storytelling:

Don't talk about your story technically, talk about it as an experience and
include the emotions it evoked.

Let's assume you like the band Metallica. Don’t say to a woman, "My
favorite band is Metallica because I love the lyrics and I think the guitarist is
awesome."

Why is this bad?

Because, it doesn't explore your identity or create any emotional response.

In this example, I’m selling you the band and not myself. By reading it you
learn very little about me. In seduction, you're selling yourself. In Identity
Storytelling you are expressing your identity with every word and action.

Instead, say something like this, "My favorite band is Metallica, because
listening to them inspired me to pick up the guitar and start playing."

In this example, the band inspired you to do something. The woman learns at
least two things about you:

• You play guitar
• You were inspired by Metallica.

3. End the story: You need to make sure every story you tell has an end
because all good stories do. An end gives the woman you are talking to the
feeling like it's her turn to speak and promotes conversation. Practice ending
your stories similarly to the way you started them.

• "...And that was the most exciting adventure I'd ever gone on."
• "...And that's why they're my favorite band."
• "...And that's what made [person] so influential to me."
• "...And that's why [name of venue] is my favorite bar."
• "...And that's why I was so moved by the …”

That's the basic concept. Also, just to be clear: Identity stories should never
come off as boasting, and should not be fictional. In other words, don’t lie; live
life and tell your real stories.

Here's a check-list of storytelling steps:

1. State what you're talking about when you start your story.
2. Tell a story by leading their emotions.
3. End the story definitively.

Lessons in Action: Identity Storytelling

“You’re so passionate!” She stood between my legs as I sat in one of the few
open bar stools. She subtly rubbed her dancer’s body against my inner thighs as
she continued, “I’ve lived out here for two months, and you’re the first person
I’ve met who actually cares about other people, who actually wants to have a
conversation about something other than sports…”

I focused on her dark brown eyes as she spoke. Her face framed by her
ringlets of dark curls. The words continued flowing from her red lips, but my
focus wavered slightly as I realized what I had accomplished:

I had attracted the woman, who – from my perspective – was the most
beautiful woman in the bar.

“You just seem like a really cool person,” she said.

“You’re different,” she said.

What made me so different?

“I’m not different,” I replied. “I’m the exception.”

************************************

I showed up to the venue with a few friends. The bar was packed full of
attractive women, and men (who I could only assume) weren’t very skilled at
seduction. I had the upper hand.

I took my time with approaches and focused on keeping my friends
entertained. I bought the birthday boy a drink and shared stories while I took
note of the interesting people in the bar.

That’s when I saw her.

She was surrounded by five guys. The guys all seemed to be drunk. I walked
over and opened one of the drunk guys by asking if he’d seen the game earlier.
He started telling me a story about how he and his four buddies had not only
seen the game – they’d been at the game.

“Oh that’s awesome! I wish I could have been there! I’m jealous,” I said.
“So how do you all know each other?”

I find out that the lady I’m interested in is on a date with Alex, one of the
buddies. Their body language tells me that it’s a first date, or at least, that they
aren’t very comfortable with each other yet physically.

Conversation with her friends continues, and naturally, she joins. She tells
me that she recently moved to the Bay Area from New York.

I start telling an identity story about the Bay Area to the group. Surprisingly,
I’m able to hold all of their attention – large groups can be tough. We all talk and
joke around for a while and I can sense that the woman I’m interested in is
getting drawn into me. There are signs that she wants to talk to me, but she’s
shy.

“You guys should come meet some of my friends.” I motion towards my
crew. “We’re out celebrating my roommate’s birthday.”

“Maybe we’ll catch up with you later,” said Alex. I believe Alex had begun
to feel threatened by me. However, when I left the group, two of the other guys
came with me.


I introduced her group of friends to mine. She came along, and joined the
group. At this point I was sure she wanted me to say something to her. So, I did.

“I love this gold lace in your dress pattern.” I touched her dress material and
nodded approvingly. “It works well with the gold jewelry.”

“Thank you!” she said. “I’m trying to step up my wardrobe.” She reaches
over to a pin on my lapel. “Is that a lion?”

 “Of course,” I said, then I went into an Identity Story about leadership and
how I think it’s important to convey a sense of self with your style, which she
said she found fascinating. It opened up endless conversational threads.

As we spoke I noticed an open bar stool, so I continued talking to her while
leading her to the stool. I sat down with open body language. As I talked, she
pressed herself between my legs.

At this point, I started seeding like crazy. I told Identity Stories and seeded
until she couldn’t take it anymore. She could not withstand the "Stringer Seeding
Frenzy." She pulled out her phone and number closed me.

Note: More on seeding in the chapter – Seeding: The most efficient way to
get a date

Alex, the guy she was on a date with, entered our intimate set and tried to
pull her away. He was drunk and sadly attempted the old Hail Mary play to pull
her home. He said: “I’m going to get out of here. Did you still want to come
back and hang out for a while?”

To which she replied, “No thanks. I think I’m going to stay out a little bit
longer. Have a great night and get home safe.”

Alex exited, dejected and wondering what the hell happened. She was going
to go home with him until I arrived.

I continued to talk to her about her passions and goals for a long time. It
started getting pretty late, and my friends told me that they were going to leave.

After she closed out, I lead her out of the venue by the hand. While walking,
I caressed her hand with my thumb and she reciprocated. When we got to her
car, we made out for a while. I cut it off and told her that she’d better go. We
agreed to see each other on Tuesday. She drove off.

When I woke up the next morning, I had already received a text from her
saying that she can’t wait to hang out soon.

Be the exception.
________________________

Help With Creating Your Identity Stories!
For this chapter I created a downloadable Cheat Sheet that helps you create your own Identity Stories.
Also I added a special exercise to discover your identity.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 12:
Key 3: The Power of Active Disinterest,
Otherwise Known as Banter or Flirting

"The trick when you're flirting is figuring how to keep a balance between
being engaging enough to retain a woman's attention and not seeming overly
available. So you tease a person a little. " - Neil Strauss

Active disinterest is, by far, the most counterintuitive piece of the attraction
and seduction puzzle. Let's take a look and analyze why active disinterest is so
important and how they’re used.

Every romantic relationship is a story, and every good story has emotional
ups and emotional downs. As I mentioned before, if you went to see a movie and
nothing bad ever happened, it would be a pretty boring movie – the same would
be true for a movie where nothing good happened. The emotional ride makes the
story interesting, memorable and fun.

These emotional ups and downs happen naturally, whether you understand
the principles of attraction and seduction or not.

A good female friend of mine was on a date with this guy. The guy was
acting smooth – like over the top smooth – and it turned her off, because she
knew he was trying to be aloof to seduce her. It wasn't until later in the date,
when he accidentally spilled his glass of wine on himself, and fumbled as he
tried to recover, that she started thinking she was into him. It was the ride of
emotional ups and downs that won her over.

As a future master of attraction and seduction, you must learn how these
emotional ups and downs work. Active disinterest, otherwise known as banter
and flirting, is a technique that is used to create emotional spikes.

Here is an example of active disinterest:

Smile and say teasingly: "If you were just one inch taller, you'd be so my
type."

This spikes an emotion in a playful way: On one hand, you are telling her
that she is not your type. So she'll wonder, "Is he hitting on me or not?"

Another example: After she teases you, or says something self deprecating,
you can say: "Note to self: Don't date this girl."
Again, you are actively telling her that you don't want to date her. By doing
so you also admit that it was a possibility until now.

"You are hired!" when she says something you approve of.

"You're so fired." when she challenges you.

Your delivery is deadpan with a smirk

Why It Works: Even though she's not your employee and you're not her
boss, it subtly sets a frame of higher status; you're the boss and you're leading
the interaction and get to make these decisions. She’ll know that you're joking
around. You've just fired her. That's a playful rejection. She's going to want to
work toward reversing that rejection, if she’s sees value in you.

If she touches you early in the interaction: "Hey now, hands off the
merchandise.”

Say it playfully and with a smile.

Why It Works: Because most men are excited to be touched and you're
stopping it, so you're the exception to the rule. It also works because it flips the
script, turning her into the one hitting on you and makes her the one trying to
earn your favor.

 One more example: When she makes you laugh, you say "Don't get your
hopes up. I'm not easy." This sentence has not only a strong frame in which she
is portrayed as hitting on you, but again telling her that you are not (yet)
interested.

Key rules for Active Disinterest, disqualification and flirting:

1. There’s No One Emotion Involved: Many seduction coaches claim
that active disinterest must be playful. I find this to be incredibly
limiting. Every emotion and perspective a seducer has should be in
his tool belt. Active disinterest could be a bunch of silly remarks or a
serious disqualification. What matter is that the technique follows the
principle, and it serves to create the intended effect: a temporary
barrier that causes an emotional spike. If you insult them the barrier
will likely be permanent. If the tease is too light it won’t have any
emotional effect. In either case it was done wrong. Find the middle
ground, explore your emotions and experiences until you do.
2. It's Interactive: It isn't a monologue, it's a dialogue. You need to
draw her out of her shell and get her involved in the conversation.
The more involved she is in the banter, the more she's going to get
emotionally-invested in you.
3. She Must Care: If you want your active disinterest to have an
emotional effect, then the other person must care about the person
showing the active disinterest. For this reason, you should only start
your active disinterest once you’re sure the group is comfortable with
you in conversation. If they’re not comfortable with you and you
show disinterest, they’ll just push you away.
4. It Must Have Context: Active disinterest that comes out of nowhere
generally has it opposite effect than the one you want; it shows
interest rather than showing disinterest. Practicing active disinterest
means paying attention to the conversation that’s at hand and
commenting on what’s actually happening.
5. It's Part of the Plan: We emphasize active disinterest for a reason.
It’s necessary. You must manufacture emotional spikes if they don’t
 come up naturally, which most often they do not. Don’t forget to use
it, or skip it because you’re uncomfortable.
6. Eventually Interest Outweighs Disinterest: Once you’ve reached
the connect phase, active interest must out weigh the active
disinterest. In other words, you don’t have to stop flirting, but at that
point she has to know you’re more interested than not. You have to
dissolve those temporary barriers and connect at long last.

These are the principles behind active disinterest, good disqualification,
banter and flirting. For the record: What active disinterest, banter and flirting is:
it's not an argument nor an insult.

You never win an argument, because even if you win, you lose the future of
a possible beautiful relationship. And most of the time arguments end with both
people still on the side they started on. The barrier that was there when the
argument started remains intact. Insults and making fun of other people
immediately destroys trust. For this reason, arguments and insults are the least
seductive form of communication. Just avoid it.

IMPORTANT: Timing your active disinterest:

When should you use active disinterest? When the woman is truly
comfortable with you in conversation. If she is uncomfortable with you and you
try to show disinterest, she'll become even more uninterested. Conversely, if you
build a little bit of social value, and she is invested in the conversation and you
show active disinterest, the effect will be significant. It’s also important to note
that active disinterest should be contextual. In other words, it should have
something to do with what’s actually happening in the interaction. If you tease
her, seemingly, out of nowhere, it could come off as awkward or as a
demonstration of interest. When using active disinterest make sure there’s
context for your comment.

• You’re so cool. I’m just going to keep saying that until I convince
myself its true.
• You're a dork. We should find you a guy with the same uniqueness.
 • You're too nice for me. I’m sure there is a ton of guys dying to meet
you on Tinder.
• You’re awesome; you’d be great for my friend.
• You're cute. You'd make an adorable friend.
• I’ll tell you when you’re older.
• Let's take this slow… I don’t want to get hurt.
• Okay, you girls have taken up enough of my time. I have other friends
to entertain.
• I should let you get back to your friends; they’ll think you’re hitting on
me.

So here's the rule: If you're trying to seduce someone, make sure
they're comfortable with you before attempting to use active disinterest.

Lessons in Action: Active Disinterest

"Oh my god, I love your hair so much, can I please touch it," she asks. Her
hands frantically dance about in the air as she awaits my reply.

Her friend shares a different point of view, "I think it's ridiculous, you need a
haircut."

"Okay, one quick touch, but I'm headed back to my friends right now," I tell
the girls. “I haven't seen them in years."

With my permission, the dancing hands shoot into my hair and with a giant
smile on her face she asks, "What's your name?"

"I'm Jason, you?"

"I'm Lacey."

"I'm Mary, and I just want you to know, you look silly. I really think we need
to shave your head."

 Stern voice. Innocent face. Hypnotic cleavage. The low cut shirt she wore
was designed to tempt every male eye that crossed its path. It begged us to notice
her, fight past her tests, and discover the truth of her nature. Challenge
accepted. "Well, this one is trouble. I think I need to stay away from you two."

"No, no!" Lacey protests, "You should hang out with us."

"Sorry," I reply. "I really do need to go rejoin my friends now. I'll swing by
later and say hello to you guys."

I have a few beers and catch up with some old comedian friends I used to
perform with back in the days I worked the NYC stand up circuit. An hour passes
and Mary walks by and greets me, "Hi, Jason!"

"Oh, hey Mary, this is my friend Adam. He is a pretty amazing guy. He has
to leave in a few minutes because he is meeting Oprah tomorrow morning." She
stares suspiciously so I call her out on it, "Do you think I'm making that up?"

She responds, "Honestly, I really don't care."

“Did you come over here and say ‘hi’ just so you could be mean again?"

"No! I was just on my way to the bathroom."

"Ok, well, good seeing you then," I gesture for her to continue on her way. I
say goodbye to Adam, who really did need to get up early to meet Oprah, and
then ask my buddy Ben to wing for me. I bring him over and introduce him to
Lacey. When Mary returns, she begins to barrage me with a bunch more
meaningless insults. I let a wounded expression cross my face, as if she had
finally cut me too deep.

"Wait," she said, looking concerned, "I didn't really mean that."

"Stop being cruel to me then. Come here. Give me a hug."

"I don't do hugs."

"Ok, then give me an embrace."

She extended her arms low, "I'll do this."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She began patting me
on the back – a slow, falsely sympathetic pat.

"Don't do that," I instructed.

She stopped, and then whispered to me, as if it was a dangerous secret, "I've
interlocked my fingers."

"Much better."

We sat back down and started talking. She began telling me stories of being
in Italy and learning to sing Opera. I started digging into her experiences asking
about her favorite roles and characters she has explored.

Lacey spots the two of us getting close and interjects, "Sorry buddy, but you
have no shot with her."

"What are you talking about?"

"You can try all you want, but seriously, you have no shot getting her in bed
with you."

"Are you suggesting I'm trying to have sex with your friend? We were just
talking about how she studied Opera in Italy, and I found it really fascinating."

"Yea, well, obviously she is very beautiful, but you have no shot."

"Look, I don't know why you are suddenly accusing me of trying to take her
home, but that's not my intention. Sure, I admit she is a very beautiful woman,
but I think it's important to appreciate someone for more than just their looks
alone. But, if you’re letting me know you don't think I'm handsome enough or
charming enough to talk to her, then okay, I guess I could just leave."

"No, sorry, I was just kidding. I wasn't saying you aren't handsome or
charming. I was joking. Relax. That was really amazing what you said about
valuing women for more than just their looks. It's just, not many guys are like
that. You must not have always been that way; what changed?"

I began talking about my life, the various changes I'd been through, and how
I now teach men how to best present themselves to romantically connect with the
women they desire. She shared her own romantic ideas about how a woman
should be wooed, "All you need to do is tell the girl that you like her. That's all
we really want."

"I think it's a bit more complicated than that."

"No, it's not. That's all you need to do." Mary was scrolling through some
texts on her phone, and I tap her on the shoulder. She turns and looks at me. In
as a genuine voice as I could muster, I said, "Hey, I just wanted to let you know,
I really do like you."

Her eyes light up and she asks, "Can I buy you a beer?"

I set out to make the point that winning over a woman is more than just
conveying interest; what I forgot was that conveying interest was the exact right
next move to do with Mary. I'd accidentally timed it perfectly. The results were a
free Guinness and a once again furious Lacey.

"You're too smooth! You came over here. You talked to me just long enough
to make me comfortable. Then you start hitting on my friend. Oh man, aren't you
clever!"
"Listen, I don't know why things keep getting weird. Thank you so much for
the drink, Mary," I down a few gulps and continue, "I really think everyone got
the wrong idea about me. You're both really cool, but just to prove that I don't
have any ulterior motives, here's what I'm going to do: After I finish this beer,
I'm going to walk out of here. I'm not going to ask for either of your numbers.
Neither of you will ever see or hear from me again. Then you will know I was
never up to anything malicious."

My wing Ben reengages Lacey. He saw things getting crazy and wanted to
help calm it down. Mary positioned herself directly in front of me, inches away
from my face, "If you just left like that, it would really be a shame."

I didn't say a word. I just looked back into her eyes and let the tension build.
When she could no longer take it, she lunged in for the kiss and began making
out with me.
________________________

Tips For Active Disinterest On Audio

Listen to Neil Strauss' tips and advice on how to use active disinterest successfully in the field
(2 hour audio).
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 13:
Step #3: The Most Powerful Way to Connect With a
Woman

"It is wonderful to have someone praise you, to be desired."

- Marilyn Monroe

Have you ever received a compliment that really hit you hard, something
that made you excited, something that you really appreciated hearing? That's the
kind of compliment we want to learn to give – a compliment that is authentic,
moving and specific.

This step – of giving compliments – is just as necessary as the previous step
of using active disinterest. The two, active disinterest and active interest
(compliments), balance each other out, creating negative and positive emotional
spikes. They help move the story that is your seduction forward. They give it
energy.

In any romantic experience, the active disinterest has to outweigh the active
interest, until the woman shows interest in you. Once you're sure she is
interested in you, then it's time to flip the scale: active interest should then
outweigh active disinterest.

 The Three Connection Pitfalls

Forgetting to compliment
One pitfall many men run into when they're trying to learn to master the
art of attraction and seduction is forgetting to compliment the woman. Forgetting
to compliment a woman once she is interested in you can make you seem
uninterested, and sometimes a little cold. It can also make you seem like you’re
only into her for her looks.

Complimenting too early
As I’ve mentioned a number of times in this book: seduction is about
timing, not speed. Guys often rush to compliment a woman when they’re
attempting a seduction. They’ll approach saying something like, “I saw you from
across the room and thought you were beautiful, I would have been kicking
myself all day if I didn’t come over and say ‘hello.’”

It sounds smooth, but is it effective?

Not likely. Here’s the deal: You have to have interest before you show
interest. Most guys don’t have interest when they approach. The guys that do are
either: 1. Very physically attractive to the woman they’re approaching. 2.
Known by the woman for some sort of attractive reputation.

If you know one of these two things are true, then you have value and
can approach with a compliment. That said, you don’t lose anything by
approaching with a neutral opener, and taking the time to make sure your
assumption is correct, and learn something about her before you compliment her.

A badly timed compliment can come off as needy, desperate and untrue.
Many women are used to having guys approach them with compliments, or
compliment them before they’re interested. It doesn’t stand out, and it suggests
you’re attracted to only what you see, because you haven’t spent the time to get
to know them yet – which brings me to the next pitfall…

Meaningless Compliments
Your compliments need to move her. They need to have an emotional
effect. A compliment with no emotional effect is pointless. Students of seduction
should stay away from compliments based on physical appearance. This is the
most common type of compliment women will get. You might be saying, “You
have beautiful eyes,” and you might even mean it, the problem is that she’s only
hearing, “I want to get you into bed.” This is because, most guys compliment
women on their looks before knowing anything about them. It makes the
compliments valueless, irritating even. That’s why we’re going to learn to talk,
listen, and compliment in an authentic way that creates real connection and has
emotional weight.

So, how do you do it the right way?

Here's how: Give the compliments some depth.

Don't compliment her on something without reason. Make sure the
compliment itself has some specific meaning to you. This makes the compliment
more than just surface level; it makes it personal and gives it more of an
emotional impact. So, start with a quality you like about them, and let them
know what it is.

Examples:
• I like how adventurous you are...
• I like how well read you are...
• I like your sense of style...
• I like how well travelled you are...

Think about what that quality means to you, and why you like it.
Here's a simple compliment script you can use to flesh out your
compliments:

"I really enjoy how [trait] you are. It's important to me because [reason].
Whenever I meet someone who is [trait], it's like a breath of fresh air. Thanks
for being awesome."

In this story traits can be anything from well-traveled, stylish, well-read,
intelligent, quick-witted, badass, it's up to you.

Other Examples:

• I like how adventurous you are. I try to live my life like a storybook;
taking risks and exploring the world, and when I meet someone else who
feels the same it's really exciting for me.
• I really like your sense of style. To me, fashion is an extension of your
identity, when you meet someone with a unique style it says a lot about that
person. It’s almost a sign that the conversation is going to be just as
interesting. So far, it seems to be true.

Compliment more than once.

Don't just give one compliment. In fact, once you know that she is attracted
and interested in you, sprinkle a few compliments into the conversation. Just
remember not to give them all at once.

When I coach Stylelife bootcamps, I always suggest telling a woman three
non-physical things you like about her.
Why non-physical?
Because you are still strangers, and physical compliments often come off as
sexual. In addition, pointing out physical features to her will communicate
subliminally that you are only looking at her body, which is what most guys do,
and I want you to be the exception.

Here’s a game you can play to keep you complimenting successfully:
When you're in a group with a woman you're interested in, try to count out
three non-physical traits they have that are attractive to you. Then tell her what
those qualities are. You only score a point if you can think of a non-physical trait
and you let them know you know that it’s a great quality.

The goal is to earn three points. This game will help you pay attention to
details when it comes to their stories and mannerisms, and it will remind you to
let them know you're interested.

 Practicing Connection
As I said earlier, if you know she’s interested in you before you approach,
you could potentially start with a compliment. However, it’s not good to practice
this way.

If you approach with a compliment, then you’re assuming she’s either
physically attracted to you or knows who you are for some sort of attractive
reputation. Don’t assume this when you’re practicing. Always practice as though
she’s not physically attracted to you, and doesn’t know who you are. When
you’re in conversation, and you’ll find out for sure – it’ll be a bonus, and the
speed of your seduction will increase.
________________________

The Downloadable Compliment Cheat Sheet

Download the Cheat Sheet "How to Compliment a Woman" and start practicing how to truly
appreciate her as a person.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 14:
Step #4: How to Get Her Number, Set Up a Date and
Beyond

"Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation

there is sure to be failure." - Confucius

Over the years I've met a lot of men, but very few of them were able to walk
into a bar and approach the women they were interested in. These exceptional
men were fun to be around and got a lot of numbers from very attractive women.
However, a few days later when they called or texted those women, they didn't
respond or the dates would inevitably fall through. Which meant almost no man
could date the women they actually wanted to date.

Interestingly, almost all men were able to set up meetings in their jobs with
people in any industry, and those meetings always happened and the dates never
flaked.

Why? What is the difference between the two meetings? And is there an
effective and proven way to set up a date with a woman that she is looking
forward to and would never flake on?

When I started to learn about attraction and seduction, I was curious and
determined to find a method that works. So, I searched high and low for
strategies for closing meetings, getting phone numbers and setting up dates. I
must have tried a dozen or so, with varying amounts of success.

The answer finally came when I moved out to Los Angeles. I was living with
Neil Strauss for a few months, and while I was there he taught me a technique
called, "Seeding a Date." No joke – seeding was the answer to how to set up a
date. I've been using it (and teaching it) ever since.

Seeding is all about "planting a seed" in a person’s mind about a cool event
that is happening, venue to check out, a new restaurant, a new band or a concert.
The key is to bring it up in the conversation without inviting her – at least
initially. It's really a simple change up in the pattern of how we normally try to
set up meetings and dates that makes all the difference.

Now, before I get into the meat of it, I want to explain something: I'm going
to teach you the proper way to seed a date, but it's going to take some time to
work all the kinks out of your ability to perform this technique. However, if you
can just remember this one lesson you're pretty much doing it right.

There is one big mistake that most men make. The result is that she either
won't give out her number, or if she volunteers her digits she won’t answer the
phone or she won’t show up to the date.

The Solution: Set up the date and then get the number. Don't try and get
her phone number and then set up the date, like every other guy.

That's it. Why is this a better strategy? Because if you set up the date first
then she has a reason to give you her number. In addition, setting up the date
before asking for her phone number lets you know if this woman is interested in
meeting up; if she is not interested she'll ignore the request or simply say she is
busy, in which case you have to go back to building attraction and value.

That all said, here are the finer details:

The Seven Steps to Seeding a Date

1. Field research: Find a few place you'd enjoy taking a date:
This happens before you go out to meet women. After all, if you want to take
a woman on a date, you should know a cool place to check out with her. The
more you know about what's happening in your city –from art festivals, to
cooking classes or wine tastings – the more social, hip and worldly you will
appear. Do your research, then get out there and explore.

Exploration can be its own fun adventure. Bring friends; the side effect is
that if you were the kind of person that didn’t get out much, your friends will
begin to see you also in a new light. The places can be anywhere from a cocktail
lounge to a park that you think you’d enjoy visiting.

In the end, what’s going to matter is that the place has special meaning to
you. In other words, it has to reflect some part of your identity. After a night of
exploration, ask yourself a few questions:

• What did I like about the place I visited?
• Are there any stories I can tell about the place itself?
• Was there anything about the place that triggered a memory or sparked
an idea?

The answers to these questions will help you when you start recommending
locations and setting up dates.

2. Plant the Seed by Recommending a Location:

Once you've met a woman you're interested in going out with, give them a
recommendation to one of the places you'd like, but here's the catch: Don't invite
her to go there with you. All I want you to do is recommend the place, and I
want you to do it early on in the conversation. Make sure you really sell it: 1) tell
her what's special about this venue, and 2) what the place means to you, what
you love about it, and why she needs to check it out.

 3. Wait to Invite:

After you recommend the place, just keep talking. Tell stories, be
entertaining, flirt, tease – just keep the conversation going.

4. Invite Her:

So, you've recommended a great place without inviting her. Then you kept
the conversation going, being as conversationally attractive as you could. If she's
giving you signs of comfort and interest, it's time to invite her out. The key to
setting up the date is to be specific: pick a date and place. Say something like
this, "Hey, this Thursday I'm headed over to that [fill in the blanks with what you
had recommended earlier] I was telling you about, you should come along. I
think you'd really enjoy it."

5. Agree or Disagree:

At this point, she's going to do one of three things:

a. She can reject your proposal by saying something like, "I'm busy"
or "I'm working that night". If this happens, then she's not into you, and you're
going to have to go back and work on being more conversationally attractive.

b. She’ll accept by saying something like, "Sure" or "Yeah, that
sounds great". If this happens, move on to step 6.

c. She'll reschedule by saying something like, "I'm working that night,
but I'm free Friday." This is a good thing – people will go out of their way to
hang out with people they're interested in, and you've just proven to yourself that
you're interesting to her. The only problem that pops up here is that she might
pick a day that you're not free. Don't worry about it; just work it out to find a day
that you're both available.

6. Exchanging Numbers:

 Now that she's agreed to go on a date with you, and you have the date and
place picked say, "Great, lets exchange information, and I'll text you the night
before with the details." Give her your number and get hers.

7. Stick Around:

Once she gives you her number, don't just leave. You don't want it to feel
like the whole reason you were there was to get her phone number. Hang out,
keep the conversation going, leave when it comes to a natural end, and contact
her like you said you would in the previous step.

8. Text her when you said you would

The next step is pretty simple. If you were going to text her the night before
your planned date with the details then, do exactly that.

The text should be simple, it should have the address and the information
about how you’re getting there. For example:

"Tomorrow night, here’s the address: [name of place, address]. I’ll
meet you there around at 8pm."
"Tomorrow afternoon, here’s the address: [name of place, address].
We’ll meet at my place and carpool over."
"Tomorrow afternoon, here’s the address: [name of place, address].
The closest subway stop is West 4th street."

And that's it!

The goal at first should be to always try and set up the date before going for
the number. Pay attention to how she reacts when you ask her to join you. If
she’s not showing much interest, then you most likely have to work on building
attraction.

Learning to seed a date is the most important technique I’ve ever learned for
getting a phone number. I promise you that if you start using it you’ll start to see
changes in your ability to get solid dates with women you’re interested in. In the
next chapters we'll dive into what to do when you are on the date and beyond.

Good luck.
________________________

Got A Date? Now What? Here's The Plan!

Congrats on getting a date! So that everything goes smoothly, I created a few things for you that will
help you to strategize and prepare the date. Download it here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 15:
Texting and Phone Calls Before The First Date

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci

As you learned in the last chapter, you can reduce women flaking on you
by seeding a date. The better you get at it the less likely it is that a woman
will not respond to you or stand you up. That said, do you text or call a woman
once you have her phone number?

The good news is that if you've seeded a date, you've done almost all of the
heavy lifting already. Here are my simple rules for texting and calling after you
seeded your date:

Rule #1: Use the phone for logistics, not flirting, not joking, not sending
pictures, asking for pictures, or anything else.

You want to build your emotional connections in person, not over the phone.
Text flirting comes later, once you have built a solid foundation of rapport, trust
and inside jokes. So once you've set up the date or received the phone number,
you'll simply send her a text or call her the day before the meet-up and figure out
how you're getting there, the address of your meeting, and anything else they'd
need to know to make getting there easier.

Rule #2: If you forgot to seed the meet-up, still use texts and calls for
logistics.

Always keep in mind that the best way to establish a true emotional
connection is in person. If there is no connection, trust and rapport yet, your
texts may come off as annoying. Any text you send or phone call you make
should be focused on inviting them to meet-up at the location you've seeded
before.

Here's an example:

"This Thursday, I'm headed to this great bar with a few friends, thought you
might enjoy the venue. Let me know if you're interested, and I'll send you the
details."

Some more ideas about places to invite them:

• Find a place they'll truly enjoy or find interesting.
• Find a place that you'll be comfortable enough to carry on a good
conversation.
• Try to find a place that's outside the ordinary, a place they haven't been
before.

Now, what happens if you seeded a date and they flake?

Well you have to remember, people have lives, and no matter how good you
get at the art of attraction and seduction, you never know what can happen in
another person's life.

Okay, so let's say you set up a date, and over the week she sends you a
bunch of texts. How do you respond?

First, it depends on what she says, but your goal is to build a connection in
person, which means as little texting as possible.

If it's a flirty text, or someone recalling the events of the night you met her, I
suggest a very short response. Acknowledge them, but don't have a conversation.
Save it for the date.

If it's a no-nonsense text – meaning she’s contacting you about logistics,
work, or something important – reply by text or call her to discuss it.


________________________
 Texting Tips With Examples!

You have her number and know what to do. Yet, you would like some more tips and see some
examples, which you can download for this chapter here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________


 Chapter 16:
How To Tell If A Woman Likes You

When I was younger, one of the hardest things for me to see was when a
woman was attracted to me. Let me tell you a story…

It was 4th of July and I was seventeen years old. I was hanging out with two
girls, which was about 50% of the total number of women I knew back then. In
addition, they were openly bisexual. I’m not exactly sure how I got them to visit
me, but I did. We went to the beach to watch the fireworks and laid out the
blankets. They laid next to me, each cuddling an opposite side of my skinny
goth-kid body. It made me so nervous that the second the fireworks went off, I
rolled them off stood up and began the walk home. They teased and touched me
the whole way home.

When we finally arrived at the house, they ran up to my bedroom, and
jumped on my very classy waterbed. They pulled me onto it and shut off the
lights, taking turns wrestling with me. I was so confused that I stood up and
flicked on the lights, and voiced my confusion: "Why’d you guys shut the lights
off?"

And then? This is where the night came to an end. It was only in retrospect
that I realized that I’d had an opportunity to lose my virginity in a threesome and
I botched it.

Something like this may have happened to you already, but if not, then
hopefully I can help you prevent it, by helping you understand the signs that
women show when they’re attracted.

Here’s the #1 rule of indicators of interest: Don’t rely on just one indicator to
let you know if she’s interested; look for at minimum three signs.

 As you get more practice and your awareness grows you’ll start to see that
the indicators have their own weight; sometimes you really only need one and
sometimes you need quite a few. But for now, always look for three.

The #2 rule: Don’t make indicators up; look for legitimate ones and be
confident that they have meaning. For example: “I think she looked at me from
across the room,” is not a legit indicator, but if she beckoned you with her eyes
and you’re sure of it, that would count. If you only think she did, then don’t
count it.

I’ve laid out a few signs to look for that can indicate that a woman is
interested in you. Remember, most of the time just one of these doesn’t mean
she’s attracted to you – so look for a combination of the following:

She is hanging out with you
If you went on a date with you, it’s an indicator of interest. I’m not saying
she’s going to sleep with you, but be confident that if she’s on a date with you,
that was her choice. She could have said, "No," or flaked, but she didn’t. Well
done!

She is touching you
This can be confusing for many guys, as it was for me in my previous story.
Some girls touch because they’re kinesthetic people and some touch when
they’re attracted. Just think of it this way, if she continues to increase the amount
of touching she does since she first became comfortable around you, then it’s
very likely an indicator of interest.

She compliments you
Compliments come in many forms. They’re all indicators of interest. Don’t
tease them about the compliment and don’t self-deprecate. Take the compliment
graciously. A simple, "Thanks, I really appreciate that," can go a long way. If
you want, use the compliment she gave you to bridge into an identity story.

Body language
This is probably the hardest to decipher, and there are lessons on top of
lessons about different ways that body language can convey interest. Right now,
I’m just going to give you a simple tip. If you’re at a bar and you meet a girl,
start telling a story. In the middle, stop and say, "Hey, I want to grab a drink,
come with me for a moment and I’ll finish the story." If she says, "Yes" then
she’s interested and keeping conversation going and possibly attracted to you. If
she says "no" and decides to stay with her friends, then you have more work to
do.

Now the question is: what do I do once I have three indicators of interest?

It’s pretty simple. You show her that you’re interested in her too, and that’s
exactly what we’ll get into in the next chapter.

The Friend Zone

Friend zone can feel like a form of rejection, and rejection feels awful. You
want to have a romantic relationship with someone, but that person isn’t
interested and wants to be "just friends." I’ve been there, I’ve felt it, I
understand. Personally, I don’t like the term friend zone. It describes feelings of
rejection, neglect and frustration that definitely exist, and so I covered it in the
book, but I would like to take a moment to explain how the words themselves
hurt the connection between one person and another.

I’ve met plenty of sad and frustrated guys who’ve said, “…then I wasted a
year in friend zone.” They’ll suggest “moving on” and rejecting the friendship
because the romance didn’t happen.

If someone suggests that time spent in friend zone is wasted, then they’re
suggesting that time spent with the other person doing non-romantic activities
isn’t valuable. They’re suggesting that the point of the interaction was love or
sex and to “only be friends” is a bad thing.

Yes, the feeling of rejection sucks, but having a new friend should be a
reward in itself. Friends, both male and female, who are awesome, will make
you a more interesting and attractive person. More women will come into your
life because the group of friends you have is large, and full of life.

 I also meet guys who felt angry and entitled, the ones who think that the
woman did something wrong by not reciprocating their feelings.

If your desire to get out of friend zone is based on the feeling of anger or that
you are entitled, and you have hostility towards her for not returning the feeling,
then you need to change your attitude. No one is obligated to return romantic or
sexual interest;

Understanding that you’re not entitled to any reciprocation, and learning to
empathize with people and cherish new friendships when they’re not interested
in you romantically will in the end help you to become a better person and
seducer. You’ll have more friends, more understanding, and in the end, you’ll be
a more interesting person. Rejection sucks, but the friend zone is not, in fact, a
bad place.

How to avoid the friend zone from the start

To avoid the friend zone you have to have attraction, and then use that
attraction to take a bold romantic step forward when the opportunity arises.

The guys who ended up in friend zone generally had bad timing. As I’ve
mentioned before, seduction is about timing, not speed. If you’re impatient,
she’ll become uncomfortable and you will fail. If you’re too hesitant she’ll start
to lose the spark of attraction, and begin to see you as a friend.

What this means is – when you’re in a position where you feel like you
should take a bold romantic step forward, you’re better off taking the risk and
going for it rather than hesitating. At least she’ll know your intentions, and let
you know how she feels about you, and you won’t be stuck orbiting her in an
endless cycle of stress, confusion, and desire, wondering if she’s into you or not.

Once you're in the friend zone, any move or declaration of love won’t likely
make a difference. That's mostly how you find out you're in the friend zone in
the first place.

Getting out of the Friend Zone

Getting out of the friend zone requires you to disappear and come back a
new man.

The picture she painted of you and your identity that she decided would
make a better friend than lover is stuck. Fortunately, we aren’t stuck with it.
The best way to get out of friend zone, is to disappear from her life for a
while and spend the time working on yourself.
Then come back – new look, new style, new attitude, and a lot more
practice. The goal is to be noticeably better than before. Suddenly, you become a
slightly mysterious stranger that she used to know so well. Why does this work?
Because you need time to change and improve, you need time to let the guy
who became a friend fade in her mind a little, so that eventually you can return
with a stronger version of your authentic identity.

During this time away you should be working on making positive changes to
yourself – have some adventures, get some practice, and improve yourself, so
you can come back a new man. .

If you’re planning on going down this road, and the feeling of rejection is
that painful, maybe take some time to meet other people, while you continue to
improve yourself. You may find that there are other ways to heal your wounded
ego other than the pursuit of the particular person.

To avoid the friend zone practice, practice, practice.

If you really want to avoid the friend zone then be sure to work on the
fundamental principles of seduction in an attempt create an exciting romantic
encounter. Effectively creating a romantic relationship instead of a platonic one
is just a matter of utilizing a lot of the same skills you’ve already learned. Open,
Attract, Connect, Seduce – in that order.

________________________

Do You Understand Her Body Language?


Many times when two people interact their body language tells how they feel about each other. Which
is why I have prepared "Signs of Female Attraction" for you here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 17:
Passive Value Generators That
Amplify Your Attractiveness

"It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction."

- Pablo Picasso

There are four traits that you can always improve that will continue to
benefit you as a master of attraction and seduction. Two of them are
conversational, and we've already covered the process for improving them:

Key 1: Knowledge Based Value Generators (Chapter: Never Run Out
Of Things To Say)

Key 2: Wisdom-Based Value Generators (Chapter: Be Interesting and
Stay Authentic: The "Identity Storytelling" Technique)

The other two traits we'll call "passive value generators". It's passive because
it works like passive income, or passive powers (if you're a gamer). Passive
value generators are traits that you work on over time, but you don't have to
actively use when you're talking to someone. They just bring you value.

The two passive value generators are:

Appearance: What the people you're talking to think about you as a result
of your physical appearance, grooming, and style.

Reputation: What the people you're talking to think they know about you.
This includes your social circle, your wealth, your authority and power, and
popularity, friends, family, and reputation.

 Even though it seems easy, interestingly, one of the most difficult changes
I've had to ask my students to make were ones that had to do with appearance.
Suggesting they try on a pair of pants, shirt or jacket was met with hesitation
instead of eagerness to improve. Some guys don't feel confident enough to wear
something different than what they are used to, while others don't want to spend
money on clothes.

Appearance is important. Even if you go for a grungy look, it has to have
style. Women pay attention to those things. And your clothes say a lot about you
than you think. Clothes offer you a way to strategically express yourself.

Work on your hygiene. Even if you are already super shaven and clean, we
can all improve the ways we take care of our bodies. This means dealing with
body hair, skin problems, odor, and general cleanliness.

• Brush and floss your teeth to avoid any bad breath – it's a
complete turn-off when kissing. Keep them as white as you can.
• See what you can do about fixing any problems with your
skin.
• Keep your body hair groomed – I'm not just talking about
beards and moustaches; I'm talking about eyebrows, chest, back, and
genitals.
• Experiment with your hair. (If your job allows for that.)
• Wear deodorant, and possibly – very little – cologne.

Work on your voice. You're going to be using it all the time if you're
learning the art of attraction and seduction. A vocal coach can not only help you
fixing any problems you might have with your voice but also learn how to
project a deep, strong voice in a loud environment.

One of our coaches is a voice speech pathologist and works with our
students on fixing many vocal problems that they didn't even know they had. If
you've been quiet your whole life or have felt insecure about your voice, it's
probably worth a trip to one of these pathologists to see if it's a medical
condition or something that can be worked out through therapy.

 Work on developing your own style. When women meet you, they will
automatically make assumptions about you based on your appearance and your
style. They don't have a choice; humans need to categorize things. If I tell you
about a friend of mine who wears all black, has tattoos, and rides a motorcycle,
you create a person in your head, even though you've never met my friend.

Here are a few general tips for improving your own style:

• Wear clothes that fit your body shape perfectly; not over-sized bags that
are comfortable.
• Wear clothes that compliment your skin complexion. Different colors
work for different skin types. Find out which colors make you look best.
• Wear accessories and clothes that express something about you. Hat,
belt, shoes, shirts all communicate who you are.
• Wear one thing that's interesting – a conversation piece.
• Don't wear too many accessories. Even though it will spark
conversation, it also will make you look like a Christmas tree. And which
woman wants to date a tree? (This can vary based on what look you're going
for.)
• Don't wear sandals anywhere that's not the beach or the bathroom.
• Stand out. If you're dressed just like all of your friends, it
communicates that you are just like them. Should she date you or them? Be
the exception.

If you're not happy with your current style, here are a few questions you can ask
yourself to help you improve your style:

• What are you wearing when you leave the house?
• What do these clothes say about you?
• What do other people (friends and family) think about your style?
• How would you like to dress?
• What impression would like to make on a woman you just met?
• What kind of clothes give off that impression?

Work on your health and your body. The better you can make yourself
look, the more people will trust you. That sounds crazy and shallow, but it's
scientifically accurate. It's important to work on your physical self. You'll have
more energy and become more confident. Getting physically fit is also a matter
of consistency. Can you keep yourself on a healthy diet? Can you keep yourself
on a regular work out regime? If you can, then you can become more fit.
Masculinity and Attraction
One question that students often have for me is, “How do I become more of
an alpha male?” Which really means, “How do I act more like what I’ve been
heard or taught it means to be a man?”
Here’s the thing: History is full of seducers that fell on the feminine and
masculine end of the spectrum, and everywhere in-between. As you’ve read in
previous chapters - there is no single identity that is seductive to everyone.
To master the art of attraction and seduction, you must find the correct
balance of masculinity and femininity that is required to seduce the person
or people you are interacting with.
For example, if you’re a naturally big masculine looking guy, include some
identity stories that add some femininity to your identity. If you’re a feminine
looking guy, play it up, add some flare to your wardrobe. This will keep you
under the radar. Then through words and actions show the people a more
masculine side. There are an infinite number of ways to play up masculinity and
femininity, experiment and see what works for your seductions.
Is There One True Key to Becoming the Most Interesting Guy in the
World?

The answer is adaptation. Explore yourself and adapt to your world. Great
seducers never stop learning; they push themselves to explore more and more of
the world. Each adventure they have leads to another. It leads you to a deeper
understanding of their reality. They know that the more people they meet and the
deeper they look within themselves the greater the seducers they'll become.

Use your adventures to improve yourself. Spend time expanding your
knowledge of all things you come into contact with, and reflecting upon how
those things effect and change you. You'll find the more you know about
yourself, the more you'll know about the world, and vice versa. If you stick to
this idea of pushing yourself to explore, you will undoubtedly be the most
interesting guy in any room.

________________________

Cool And Awesome!

Help To Create Your OWN Style

To help you even more I have put together a "Personal Fashion Book" that you can download here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 18:
Dating With Care and Empathy

"I don't conquer, I submit."

- Giacomo Casanova


Personal growth is about becoming the best person you can possibly be, but
change doesn’t occur in a vacuum. There are people around you, people with
feelings, opinions, thoughts, and goals of their own. Achieving your goals does
not mean that you can be a self-serving shark, cold and mindless of no one but
yourself. It means you follow your dreams and improve yourself to become the
man you strive to be.

At the same time, while taking other people’s opinions into account, no one
should be ashamed of any efforts to improve, grow, and change their lives. No
one should prevent you from making you dream a reality.

If you want to learn how to attract your preferred romantic or sexual
partners, you must start doing things that are attractive to them. These include
being more interesting, confident, humorous, self-aware, emphatic, authentic,
positive, well-rounded, and spiritual. Ultimately, to form relationships with
others more successfully, you have to become a better person.

Though the principles of attraction and seduction are inherently non-sexual,
they can be used romantically. After years of teaching this material I’ve found
it’s necessary to share this – many people are unaware of what exactly consent
is. For this reason, I want to include this very important section:




 The 7 Rules of Care and Empathy

Consent is when every person feels safe and comfortable in any – including
sexual – scenario and wishes to do the same thing and let the other person or
people know.

Rule 1: Only an enthusiastic yes means yes. Everything else is no.
Consent means hearing the word "yes". Silence isn’t consent. "Maybe" isn’t
consent. "I guess so" isn’t consent and if you hear no, you stop whatever you are
doing.

Rule 2: Talk about it.
Don’t make assumptions about what someone is comfortable with in general
or sexually. It’s up to both of you to learn each other's limits. That’s why you ask
questions like "Do you feel comfortable moving to the next level?" Trust is key.
Never assume you have a yes; it’s not up to the other person to say "no"; it’s up
to you to listen for the "yes".

Rule 3: Permission is non-negotiable.
Nothing you’ve already done gives you permission to do the next thing.
You’re kissing like mad; she’s totally into it; that must mean it’s okay to get
your hand under her shirt. Wrong. You’ve got your clothes off and you’re all
over each other; that must mean it’s okay to have intercourse. Wrong.

The truth is that, unless you’re involved in a regular relationship and have
already worked out a set of rules, every time you go to a new "level" you’ve got
to get consent.

Some people might say, "That's not romantic. That totally breaks the flow."

It depends on how you do it and how you bring it up. By both of you
knowing you’re doing and what you want, there’ll be much more sexual energy
than if one person is getting off and the other is bored, uncomfortable, or scared.

Rule 4: No one can’t give consent if they are drunk or stoned.
If a person is too intoxicated to know what they are doing then they can’t
give consent.

Rule 5: "No" means stop.
If a person decides in the middle of an intimate moment that they don’t want
to continue all previous yes’s are null and void. Whatever you were doing comes
to an end, until you’re both consenting again.

Rule 6: Date with empathy.
Every approach, every sexual encounter, every romance you are in, do your
best to ensure that the person not only doesn’t regret the experience but that it
enriches their lives and is better off for having had it.

Rule 7: Be safe and compassionate: Safe sex is mandatory. However,
there is no such thing as safe love. It is a risk of the heart. But it is well worth the
reward.

________________________

Making A Great Authentic Impression

What do women think about men learning seduction? Emma surveyed women and Neil Strauss
created a great post on "The Game Bill of Rights". Plus you can download the Cheat Sheet "Making a Great
Impression" for this chapter.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 19:
The First Kiss and the "Romantic Window"
Technique

In romantic encounters, going for the kiss is a big moment. Most guys feel
like it’s the riskiest move next to actually making the approach, because they
don't know if she is ready to be kissed. You’re putting yourself on the line
hoping that you’ve done everything right up to this moment. How do you make
sure your potential partner is going to want to kiss you back?

The "Go for it" Checklist:
Start with finding a location where you both feel comfortable. This is tricky,
because depending on who you’re with it could be anywhere. The best thing to
do is look at what’s happened so far, and decide where the woman you’re with
might be comfortable. Try not to be in a bottlenecked portion of a bar, where lots
of people are pushing through. Find somewhere comfortable for the two of you.

Next, if you’re going for the kiss, run through this checklist in your head:
1. Did your potential partner show interest in you?
If no, then keep working on building value until you receive
indication that they’re interested.
2. Did you remember to compliment her about something once she
showed interest?
If no, then find something to compliment her on – refer to the
chapter on connection.
3. Are you somewhere comfortable?
If no, then find a place. You may have to change venues to do
this.

If you answered yes to the above questions, then there’s a good chance that
going for the kiss will work out for the two of you. Go for it, but in the right
way.

Heightening the Moment and Dissolving Kiss Anxiety

Every relationship is a story, and every story has its high points and its low
points. The first kiss should be one of the major high points of your seductive
story. When you go for the kiss, try saying or doing something that will heighten
the moment.

At the last attraction and seduction boot camp I taught in DC, we had a
student who approached a girl he was interested in and within a twenty-minute
period, he was making out with her on the dance floor. I asked him what it was
that let him know it was time to go for the kiss, and he told us that the most
important moment was right before the kiss. He said something to her while they
were dancing. He said, "You’re an amazing person. I have to do this or I’ll feel
stupid for not trying." Then he went for the kiss.

What I loved about this was that he could have just gone for it. The words he
said were not what made her want to kiss him. He had made himself attractive
by being a great conversationalist, by providing value, and helping her to have a
great time. The words he said helped make the moment more memorable –
something both of them will remember. It’s more than a kiss; it’s a moment of
romance.

In addition, saying those words meant he couldn’t turn back. Once he said
them, he had to go for the kiss; they helped him get over a moment of anxiety
that normally would have held him back. Going for the kiss is a risk, it’s going
to show you exactly how seductive you think you are, this frightens a lot of
guys; frightens them so much, that they never go for the kiss, and they fail to
experience what could have been.

Kiss-Amplification-Technique: The technique is pretty simple but extremely
effective: Before you’re going to go for the kiss – say something bold. Make it
romantic and exciting, even sexual. It will help give you the confidence to go for
the kiss and will hopefully create a memorable and romantic moment for the two
of you.

The "Romantic Window" Technique

This technique will take your seduction from platonic to romantic. It will
lower your anxiety and it will spice up your seductions with romance.

I want to teach you today how to create a moment that she can brag about to
her friends – something romantic that shows her how awesome she is and proves
to her how awesome you are.

Step 1. Seeding for the Kiss

Seeding is a technique where a specific topic/venue is brought up but not
acted upon until a later part in conversation. The reason we seed is to introduce
an idea before asking them to act on it, so that later when we ask them to act on
it, they have actually thought about it and want to move forward with it (or not –
then you have to back off).

For example, you can seed a date by bringing up a venue that you'd be
interested in visiting with your potential date. You tell a story about the place
while you're building attraction, but don't invite her. Then you continue on with
your seduction. When you feel like she's attracted and you're ready to ask her
out, you bring that place up again and ask her if she'd like to accompany you.

You can seed a personality exercise like "The Cube", which is generally
done in isolation, by using the skydiving or the ring finger routine early in the
interaction and motioning that there's another routine that's much more in-depth
and serious, but you'd need a quieter place to play. Then once you feel like it's
appropriate timing to isolate you say, "the couch opened up, let's sit down and
I'll show you that psychology exercise I mentioned before."

IMPORTANT: For this technique, the seed will happen after we've built
attraction, when we're showing her interest (the connect phase).

Step 2. How to Qualify Properly

 For starters, look for three non-physical traits that you actually like about the
girl you're interested in. After you've built attraction through Identity
Storytelling, Demonstrations of Value, and Disqualification and have received
the appropriate amount of Indicators of Interest – it's time to let her know that
you appreciate these three qualities. This requires:

1. That you name the quality. Example: "You know, I really
appreciate how adventurous you are."
2. That you tell them why the quality is important to
you personally. Example: "I try to live life like I'm in a storybook
– taking chances and doing the unexpected. Meeting someone
with a similar quality is a breath of fresh air."
3. You end the qualifier with a specific ending. Example: "I really
appreciate that. Thanks for being awesome."

Tips: These are not done in rapid-fire succession. They are done throughout
the seduction, but more regularly before the first kiss and always after you've
built some attraction. In addition to non-physical qualities, you can also hint at
something they aspire to be, or aspire to obtain in the future, or in some sort of
untapped potential you see in them. Sometimes you can choose a physical
quality, but it has to be unique and be supported by a very specific identity story.

Step 3. The ABC of the "First Kiss"

a) A great kiss generally needs a conducive environment. This could be
anywhere, and generally depends on the seduction. Yeah, sure, sometimes a
great kiss can happen in the middle of a mosh pit. But here are a few common
areas for those of you who are still learning the basics:

On a couch alone with her.
On a couch or chair with other people, if she's showing an exceptional
amount of interest – leaning or sitting on you.
At a table together when you're next to each other.
At your place, her place or a private room somewhere.

b) Choose one of the three qualities you liked about her and told her about
using the previous seeding method.

c) Let her quality be the attractor.

Example: "That adventurous nature of yours is way too attractive. Don't you
think that if we don't kiss right now we're going to be missing out on one of the
biggest parts of this story?" Pause, look into her eyes and wait for her to say
'yes', lean in to kiss you, or just pull you closer.

Once again, pause, and gauge her response. Your job is to make her want to
kiss you. And if she wants to, she will let you know. The key mistake guys make
is rushing to the finish line. The kind of seduction that will drive a woman wild
with desire is when she wants something but doesn't have it yet. So be the prize,
and play with this physical tension rather than being in a rush to resolve it.

What happens if I time everything wrong and she’s not interested in kissing
me?

Imagine you've met a woman you’re attracted to, and you've followed the
step-by-step seductive method: You start a conversation with an opinion opener
(like the Drunk-I-Love-You Opener), then you build value with some active
disinterest and a few identity stories. She gives you some indicators that she's
interested, so you let her know you're interested too. Now you need to close. So
you decide to go in for a kiss, but there's a problem. As you lean in for the kiss,
she turns her head… and you feel rejected.

What to do now that you've missed the kiss, and ended up with a mouthful of
cheek?

In this case, it's not about what you should do; rather, it's about what you
shouldn’t do:

Don't say something cheesy like, "Well, I didn't say you could kiss me."
She just denied you a kiss; don't you think she knows you wanted to
kiss her?
 Don't completely change your attitude. Imagine how that looks to her.
What do you think she assumes about someone who starts acting mopey
or awkward because they didn't get to make-out?
Don't give up on her. Just take a step back and realize you probably
misread an indicator of interest, or didn't build enough value. It's an
indicator that not enough attraction or comfort was built. Ask yourself:
What steps can you take to build more attraction?
What can you do to make her more comfortable?
Do not get angry. A failed seduction is not her fault; it's yours. Getting
angry only will make you look desperate, horny or frustrated. You’re
not entitled to any form or romantic or sexual reciprocation, no one is.

How to Invite a Woman to Your Home

Bringing a woman back to your place in a way that she feels comfortable
and intrigued is very similar to inviting her on a date – you use the seeding
technique described previously. Here's a simple method for using seeding to
make the move back to your place:

1. Seed your home, just like you’d seed a date. During
conversation, bring up an activity or an object that you'd
need to go home to participate in or see. Tell her about it,
but don't invite her back. Do this early on in the date.
2. When you're going to leave the final venue say, "I want to
show you that [activity or object]. Let's swing by and check
it out."
3. Then add a time constraint, "You can only come over for a
few minutes. I have to be up for work in the morning."
4. Possible outcomes:
• If she says, yes. Well done!
• If she says, no or ignores the suggestion, then you need to work
on building more value or attraction. Don't beg her to come back or
complain when she doesn't want to – it will make you look impatient
and desperate. Try setting up another date.
 • If she seems like she wants to come back, but really does have
some obligation in the morning, drop the idea of bringing her home
that night, and set up another date.

And no matter how the rest of your encounter goes – remember, it takes time
to learn. You're going to make experience what feels like failures, so don't be too
hard on yourself. Just make sure that you keep practicing. Eventually, you'll
learn to read all the signs and get over these hurdles. Everyone I know who's put
in the time and had the tenacity to push themselves when things go poorly have
found success.

________________________

Download The
"Romantic Window Technique"
Cheat Sheet

Can you remember the steps of the romantic window technique? If not, download the cheat sheet here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________



 Chapter 20:
Comfort, Intimacy And The "Love Roadmap"

"The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that's changing really
quickly, the only strategy that is
guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."
- Mark Zuckerberg

Throughout a romance, the woman must feel safe and comfortable with you,
both verbally and physically. Many men get wrapped up in the physical half.
They ask themselves, "How do I make it so that she'll let me touch her?" or
"How can I get her to want to touch me?" but touching and being touched isn’t
the whole picture.

As you become intimate with a woman, the level of comfort slowly
escalates. And because it's a delicate, vulnerable new territory, trust and respect
are paramount.

Trust is gained by taking small steps that build on one another. To be
comfortable around someone you need to trust them in some way, and so your
goal is to continuously build trust. As trust builds, so does comfort.

The comfort building process starts at the beginning of the interaction. She
evaluates, "Can I trust this stranger and do I want to continue talking to him?"

One sign that an interaction is going well is when she begins to take the next
step and push things forward to the next level. Take special note when she does
something verbal or physical that shows you your levels of intimacy are
escalating. Maybe she leans into you while talking, presses her knee up against
yours while you sit together, holds onto your arm when you're standing together
– any of these are signs that she's more trusting and more comfortable with you
than earlier in the interaction. Be confident that things are going well.

IMPORTANT: If you try to rush things, you'll make her uncomfortable,
and lose her trust. Have patience, because guys who are impatient look horny
and desperate.

That said, even if she isn't making advances, she still might be interested.
Everyone is different, and will show romantic interest in different ways. As you
continue your practice, you will find that some women will be more aggressive,
and others will be passive. It's up to you to see what's going on by developing a
well-calibrated social awareness.

You can check her comfort levels with slowly escalating techniques. Initially
they are minor and insignificant things, each becoming increasingly substantial
and involved as trust and comfort is built. With any comfort escalation
technique, you're looking for one of three outcomes:

1. Will she do more for me than she would before?

2. Will she want me do more with her than before?

3. Am I making her uncomfortable? If so, stop what you're doing and
take a step back romantically. If you persist in making her
uncomfortable, you'll likely lose her trust and the possibility of a
romantic connection.

Here are some examples of verbal comfort escalation checks:

"Do you like Thai Food? I can't hang out with people who aren't
adventurous with food and don't try new things in life."

Did she change her opinion or makes an excuse to win you over?
If yes, great, you're doing well.
If no, keep working on building attraction.

"Can you hold my drink for a second? Thanks, you're awesome and
conveniently located."

Did she hold your drink for you?
If yes, great, you're doing well.
If no, you need to build more comfort and attraction.

"This place is supposed to have an amazing rooftop. Come upstairs with me,
you can stretch your legs and keep me safe from drunken cougars on the prowl."

Did she come up to the rooftop?
If yes, great, you're doing very well.
If no, you need to build more comfort.

Now let's take a look at a few techniques that check her comfort levels in a
physical way:

As you laugh together, you briefly touch her arm and gauge her
response. If she moves away from you, she's not attracted or
comfortable.

When moving to a new area, you reach out to see if she takes your
hand. She's already going with you, which is great, but if she
doesn't take your hand, she's likely uncomfortable with your touch.
Build more attraction.

You give her a warm embrace, noting carefully how she hugs you
back. If she doesn’t hug you back, you need to build more comfort
and attraction.

If at any time she seems uncomfortable with one of your advances, that is a
clear sign you need to take a step back. Don't continue to escalate; instead build
more attraction and trust, by using routines, active disinterest, and identity
storytelling until you get more indicators she is interested. As so often is the
case, timing is everything.

Buyer's Remorse

 Have you ever regretted a purchase? Have you had fear or a sense of guilt
that you made a poor purchasing decision? If so, then you've experienced what's
called buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is not specific to purchases; it's also something that can
happen in dating and intimacy. Specifically if the woman ends up with a feeling
of unmet expectations – that she gave part of herself away and did not get what
she wanted or very little in return.

This almost always happens when she had or has different expectations than
you.

Avoiding Buyer's Remorse

Make sure both of you are on the same page. Also, read the chapter on
Dating with Care and Empathy towards the end of the book. Understand what it
is and how it works, and follow those rules when you're getting into a
relationship or intimate.

Next, if she wants to get intimate with you, make sure to talk with her about
future concerns in a caring way:

"Before we go any further, I just wanted to check in with you that tomorrow
morning, when we wake up together, we both feel really good with this."

Or you put her in the driver seat by saying:

"We don't have to have sex. I'm happy just wanting to wake up next to you
tomorrow."

The key is to be caring, empathetic and patient. Even if she verbally and
physically leads you to sleeping with you, it's a good idea to check in with her.
The more connected partners are with each other, the more aligned their
expectations are, the better the sex will be.

Give more than you take, enrich her life with great experiences, including
and specifically during sex. This means spending some time getting to know her
body. Use foreplay to build a roadmap of her erogenous zones. Below I'm going
to share my "Love Roadmap" that you can use to help you with foreplay, and
mutual sexual exploration.

The first thing you should remember about having good sex is that great
sexual partners pay attention to each other's needs and communicate well.
Talking during sex? Yes, my friend. And if you do it the right way it will be a
big turn on.

Communicate and respond with words and body. For instance, if she
suddenly wants to roll you over and kiss you – forget about the roadmap and let
her do that. If she wants to go down on you, decide if that's what you want and
go for it or talk with her about what you want. Just pay attention and
communicate. That said, here's something fun to try – enjoy!

The Love Roadmap

Start by kissing for a while.
After a comfortable amount of time, take her hand and say, "I want to
kiss all the parts of your body that others forget to kiss. If you feel
uncomfortable tell me to stop and I will."
Kiss the inside of her wrist.
Pause and look up, reassuring her that you'll stop if she feels
uncomfortable. Check in with "How does this feel?"
Kiss further down the wrist, and keep kissing until you get to the
shoulder.
When you get to the bra strap (if she’s wearing one) pull the strap down
to her shoulder and kiss the place on her body where it was before you
pulled it down. The release of tension from the bra, and then the
following kisses will feel very good. Note: This technique can also be
used for kissing around the panty line. Push the panty down, place a
little kiss along the hip, then return the panties to their first position.
After kissing, put the bra strap back. Continue kissing her with this
technique for a while. She might smirk, because she is getting more
excited and maybe even wants you to take the bra off. But don't.

At this point you have a few choices:

From here you place little kisses along her back and continue with
the collar bone. You can caress the back of her neck, you can
lightly pull her hair, or you can go back to making out. Whatever
you do, eventually you want to return to the limbs you haven’t
kissed. Note: Don't touch or reach for her breasts, her butt, or
between her legs. The goal is to kiss all the non-sexual places.
As you explore her limbs, experiment with light kisses, hard kisses,
little bites, licks, and words. You're trying to get a sense of what she
likes before you start getting more intimate. Let her show you what
she likes and pay attention to what she does.
So, if you give her a light lick and she moans, that's great. If you
bite a little and she says, "Softer," then you'll know to be a little less
rough. Note: Playing this game will get more exciting the more you
undress each other.
If at any point, there is any interruption or disturbance (phone rings,
running out of time, too public of a place, etc.), either wait it out
and get back to arousing her again, bounce to a more quiet and
romantic place, or just hang out and appreciate your togetherness.
There will be many other exciting moments and places in the future.
If you've played this exploration game right, then you both should
be mostly undressed and fairly aroused. She might take over and
initiate the next level of intimacy. Make it a game where you both
experiment with fingering, oral sex, and more touching and kissing.
If everything goes right, she and you are both aroused, confident
and comfortable, then making love will be a natural smooth
transition. Use protection, and have fun – both of you!

Good Luck!

________________________

Want To Learn More? Dive Deeper?

 There are how-to videos, cheat sheets that help you memorize and step-by-step exercises that go along
with each chapter and a community of fellow students.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________


 Chapter 21:
Tips For Dating Apps And Dating Websites

Online dating and dating apps are everywhere. They've totally changed the
name of the game when it comes to meeting and attracting high-quality women.
You can do it in your spare time, on the train to work, or even when you're on a
boring date.

Not that I would ever suggest you do such a thing.

Still, just like talking to girls out at bars and clubs, it's important for you to
approach, flirt and make a connection in a skillful manner. Do you find that
you're not making the connections you want? Do you have a low percentage of
women responding to what you have to say on online dating sites?

There's a good chance you’re making one or more of the most common
mistakes in online dating. By eliminating just one of these, you can see
significant increases in your batting average when it comes to online dating.
That said, while there is a bigger pool available, the rules are not different, the
same principles apply and the 4-Step System works like a charm.

Let's start with the main challenge: Almost no woman will ever meet a
random stranger, yet the profile of apps and websites gives you only a very
limited way to convey your true identity. So your goal is to super-communicate
in a condensed form and share your qualities via pictures and text and message.

Where are the online routines?

There are countless online dating and social networking sites. And new apps
become popular overnight, then lose out the next day a new e-dating trend.
 This is why it’s important to remember that the principles of attraction and
seduction stay the same even though the techniques might change.
Think about it this way. Each new app or site requires a modification of your
techniques and routines but your identity stays the same. This is why I will give
you some pointers to help you out when making contact.

The principle of starting a conversation is to make the person or group
feel comfortable. If you send them a message that makes them
uncomfortable it’s likely to fail.
When you’re contacting a woman on a dating app or website, you’re
already conveying interest by contacting her. Which means that there is
no way that you "just wanted to say hi". In fact, if you’re on a dating
site, it’s assumed that you’re looking for a date. So, if you contact a
woman, it’s reasonable to expect that she thinks you’re looking to date
her. So what do you say?
Make an observation about something you find interesting about her
hobbies, her life etc. that is non-sexual.
Point out a common interest and ask her opinion about a question that is
related to that topic.
Regarding flirting: When online, and just like in real life, teasing can
come off as hitting on someone if it’s done without context. First get to
know her a bit before you start flirting.

And finally: When you meet up explore why you were interested in meeting up
rather than denying any interest in the first place, as a form of active disinterest.

Bad Profile Pictures
Women aren't quite the visual creatures that men are. That said, you need to
have good pictures on your profile. You don't have to be the best-looking guy on
a website or app to get the best-looking girl to go on a date with you. In fact, it's
not so much what you look like physically in your photo as much as what kind
of guy you look like.

You want to look like a fun-loving, outgoing type of guy she's going to want
to spend time with. Your conversations should also be moving toward this. But
just like your attraction to her starts with a photo, so does her attraction to you.
Be the one that's going to get her interested in who you are, wanting to know
more and wanting to spend time with you.

Not Revealing Enough about Yourself
There are two parallel mistakes you can make when crafting your online
profile. The first is being overly secretive about yourself, or not elaborating
enough about who you are.

Think about it: On the one hand, if you don’t reveal anything about yourself,
you can look sketchy or even fake. However, if you reveal a little bit, but not
very much – or not any of the more interesting parts of your life, anyway – she’s
not going to have any reason to respond. No matter how awesome the pictures of
you look, women are going to want to know what sets you apart from other guys
before they respond to your message.

Revealing Too Much About Yourself
And then there’s the parallel mistake – the other side of the coin. Sometimes
guys reveal too much about themselves. They overshare. In particular, they come
off as bitter, talk too much about exes or have a long list of things women must
have or must not have.

It’s OK to have standards, but it's good to keep things positive on a dating
website. Remember that you want to put your best foot forward on dating
profiles. Don't muddy the waters with negativity or bitterness.

Building a profile means presenting the best part of yourself that you can.
Here are a few things you can try:

Put up no more than three pictures.
One picture with an animal has been statistically proven to work
well for apps and online dating sites.
Don’t put up pictures where you’re with exes or other women
you're sleeping with.
Put up one picture that show you’re participating in something like
travel, a hobby, or a vacation.
Use proper grammar and punctuation.
 Looks are important for online dating – choose photos where you're
well-groomed or well-dressed if possible.
If there's a text portion of your profile, write something that will
make it easy and fun for them to contact you.
"Just looking for a Netflix password."
"Trying to find someone with a cool dog/cat I can hang out
with."
"Looking for the missing half of my broken amulet."

Making contact, setting up the date:
You need to write a solid introduction message to grab her attention. You
know that. However, how do you do that? One of the main ways is to read her
profile. Nothing is going to irritate a woman more than sending her off a
message without having read her profile. She put up a profile with the things she
wants you to know about her before you send off an email. Let her know that
you took the time to read her profile and what about it made you want to contact
her.

You have two goals in this order: establish contact and then
transition to a date in the real world.
Don't start with something sexual; start with something non-sexual
from their profile or photos.
Recognize that people jump onto and off of dating sites fairly
rapidly, so if someone doesn't get back to you, move on – the
person you contacted is likely not even on the site.
If you know they're on the site and they don't get back to you, move
on. They're probably not interested, or they simply don't check the
site often.
Set up dates for locations that are safe and comfortable – nothing
where she feels like she'll be trapped there with you.
Don't get upset and send negative messages if the girl doesn't like
something you said, or doesn't want to go out with you. Learn from
your mistakes and move on.

 Mistake to avoid: Get to know her in person, not online
There's such a thing as spending too much time getting to know women on a
dating website. The point of a dating website isn't getting to know her through
endless e-conversation. After all, they're called "dating sites" for a reason. What
you want to do is get her to go on a date with you. So rather than spending lots
of time chit chatting about what was on television last night, spend your time
trying to move her toward saying yes to going on a date with you.

Mistake to avoid: Poor Grammar
It might not seem like a big deal, but it is. You should proofread your
profile. Look for simple grammar and spelling mistakes. A lot of women won't
respond to anything you have to say if you say it with poor grammar. Just
spending a few minutes here can make a big difference in terms of both the
number and the quality of women you have responding – and contacting you in
the first place.




________________________

Ready To Set Up Your Dating Profile?

If you are, then I have a Cheat Sheet for you that simplifies the process and helps you make you look
awesome. Visit:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 22:
Advanced Text Game And Avoiding Flaking

It doesn't matter if you met her out at a bar or on a dating website or dating
apps: Texting is going to happen, and you’ll want to get it right.

Here’s what you need to know:

Texting is great for logistics, or solving immediate problems.
Texting does not create true attraction or connection. That happens in
person. Which is why most texting is unnecessary flare. In fact, the
more texts you send the more likely it is that you’ll cause a problem
rather than support your seduction. Recognize that if you follow the
steps leading up to a properly seeded date, all you need to do is send
where and when you’ll meet, and solve any incidental problems
regarding the date, everything else is extra.
People will go out of their way to be around someone they’re interested
in, that means you should be working on you in-person skills, and
always practicing seeding dates. If they flake without rescheduling, you
need to work on your value building steps.
Most non-logistical/problem solving texts are for validation on the part
of the insecure would-be seducer. Never send a text for the sole purpose
of getting a response. Be confident that if you’ve seeded a date that she
agreed to, you’re doing just fine. Ask yourself, “what is the purpose of
this text in my overall seduction?” if it doesn’t have one, then don’t
send it.
Improve your grammar and spelling, and you’ll have fewer
communication problems.

Texting problems

I have talked to literally tens of thousands of men through the Stylelife
Academy. As such, we hear a number of problems that guys have when it comes
to texting. You might not be experiencing all of these, but we'd be amazed if you
weren’t dealing with at least some of them.

You Don't Know when to text
We believe there's a very simple solution to this: It all comes down to
what happens in person, because that where attraction and romantic connection
happens. Imagine, your celebrity crush gave you her number and started texting
you all the time, or she invited you out on a date but rarely returned your texts.
In either case, would you still want to date them? I’m betting it’s very likely you
would.

Same thing goes for women; if the guy is interesting enough they’ll go out of
their way to hang out with you. Do you think she’d go out of her way to hang
out with her celebrity crush? Do you think that if he texted too much, or barely
texted at all, that she’d no longer want to hang out with him? I doubt it.

Refine your in-person skills and the texting will become less and less of a
problem.

You Don't Know How to Set Up a Date
The point of texting isn't more texting – it's getting her off the phone and
into your presence, preferably on a date that she won't soon forget.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys focus too much on their "text game" that they never
make the transition from texting to up close and in person.

Remember to keep your eyes on the prize. The prize is not another text from
her – it's a date that's going to bring the two of you closer than texting ever will.
Flirt with her, but avoid chit chatting and always be thinking about how you're
moving toward the date.

Practice seeding dates, and use texts to move towards those dates. You
shouldn’t have to convince someone to hang out with you over the phone.

Your Text Dates Always Flake
Are you the guy who gets dates but is always having them cancel? Even
worse, do you have dates who don't show up? Sure, you get her to agree to a
date, but the date itself never seems to materialize. What are you doing wrong?

There are four major possibilities:
1. You’re not building enough value: This means you need to work on
building value through identity stories, routines, and active
disinterest until you receive a few indicators of romantic interest,
before moving on.
2. You’re not showing interest: Remember, you don’t show interest
until she’s interested in you. If you’re sure you have interest, make
sure you’re returning the interest, before you set up the date or get
the phone number.
3. You made her uncomfortable, and she gave you the number just to
get you to go away. You will know this is the case if you’re getting
numbers very early in the interaction and they’re always flaking.
This means you have to go all the way back to working on starting
conversations, that’s where the root of the problem is, they were
made to feel uncomfortable from the start.
4. She’s actually busy. People have lives, sometimes they don’t
include you. If you’re seeing a pattern, where lots of women are
flaking on you then refer to possibilities one and two.

Your Texting Makes Her Uncomfortable
There are the guys who come on too strong. The guys who have women
responding at first. But then those responses become "K" and other signs that
you’re being awkward, creepy or otherwise making her uncomfortable. That's a
bummer, and it can be hard for men to be honest with themselves that that’s
what they're doing. But you have to level with yourself if you're going to make
any improvement.

What you need to do is start paying more attention to her; paying more
attention to what she's into and what she's not into. When in doubt, take it down
a peg. Start by stripping your texts of vulgar language, or anything else that is
inappropriate.

What Text Messaging is not…
 1. Text messaging is not a way to build attraction. There is no magical
text you can send her that will make her fall in love (or lust) with
you. Do not sit there for hours, slaving over just the perfect
sentence. You are not English metaphysical poet Andrew Marvell
penning the classic poem "To His Coy Mistress". Your text will not
live forever in the annals of fine literature. If you catch yourself
wondering, "What will make her like me?" then just stop. You’re
texting for the wrong reasons.
2. Text messaging is also not for building a connection. Don't get into
sweet chit-chat or just kind of checking in because it reduces her
desire to see you in person. "What are you doing?" or "How's
work?" are questions that are like a pressure release valve. She can
answer them and you lose the momentum, as opposed to having
that pressure build during the day where she's just dying to tell you
in person.
3. Text messaging is not for escalation in a relationship. It is only for
maintenance.

What Text Messaging Is…
Text messaging is a way to confirm details of a date that you've
already seeded when you saw the woman in person. It's all about logistics. For
example, you could text, "We're going to that permit-only hiking path this
weekend. Why don't you come along?" Or, if you already have set up the date,
the text can confirm and remind her.

If you're texting about a date, make sure it's something fun, exciting,
and different. A text message with an offer to go on a secret underground tour of
Hollywood studios is going to elicit a very different response than a text
message offering a dinner and a movie.

If you mention a date in a text message and the woman responds, "I
dunno" or "I’m busy" or "Maybe my friends and I will be out the same evening"
then you need to generate more interest.

Be Careful of Text Messaging Limitations
Remember, texting does not have emotional components of eye
contact, vocal tonalities, facial expressions, or hand gestures, so it's harder to
seed (or sell) a meet up in text than in person. That's why you should seed the
adventure when you're in her physical presence and then just use the text to
follow up.

Inside jokes and connection enhancer
There is an element to text messaging that sometimes makes it
easier to flirt for shy people. So in some ways, you can be more teasing, more
joking in a text. Personally, I think that this technique should be used after
you’ve had a good first date, and that person is excited to see you again.

Text messages are also great ways to follow up on an inside joke
that you might have established when you met the woman. Let's say you both
talked about your addiction to chocolate milkshakes. You could text her and say,
"Need an intervention for those shakes lately?" Use the inside joke you shared in
her presence and you can conjure up those same emotions from a distance with a
well-placed text message, then use it as a spring-board into another meet-up.

Emoticons and Acronyms: To Use Them or Not
There are mixed prescriptions for using emoticons in social text
messaging. Many seducers abhor emoticons, preferring to position themselves as
more suave and sophisticated. It's hard to imagine James Bond sending a smiley
face and a LOL to a woman. That said, there are times and places where they
come in handy. You have to decide what’s right for that person, in their specific
seduction.

Here are some basic guidelines:
1. Use as few acronyms and emoticons as possible.
2. Recognize that your grammar and spelling are more important than
the strategic use of emoticons and acronyms.
3. Reread your texts before you send them; you have all the time in
the world. Ask yourself: do I really need to use an emoticon? If so,
why are you using it and is there a better way to communicate the
same thing?

The Texting Gameplan: The Steps
 Let's say you met a woman at a bar on Friday night. You had a good
time and ran The Cube cold reading routine on her. And you seeded this great
sushi restaurant that only you and your friends know about. Now, it's a day or
two later and you want to follow up. Here's the plan:

Step 1: Start with a reminder of the good feelings you had together.
For example, if you ran The Cube and she enjoyed it, you could text "Hey,
how’s your big cube doing…" Use a nickname or some term you might have
shared.
Step 2: In the same text, refer to the date that you’ve already seeded.
Your text could be:

"Hey, how’s your big cube doing? Here’s the info for the place we’re going
to on [day of the date]. [Logistical Info].”

The Texting Gameplan: The Pacing Myth
Many men wonder, "How long should I wait in texting?" That common
query applies to phone calls as well.

There are a lot of theories about when and how often to text. For example,
texting at her pace or only texting two days after getting her phone number.
From personal experience, and through experiments with students all over the
world, I’ve found none of this to be true or particularly valuable.

Just keep this in mind: people will go out of their way to hang out with
someone they’re interested in. Refine your in-person skills and the texting will
become less and less important. It will become a way to communicate exactly
when and where you’re going to meet up, rather than the confusing purgatorial
space between the meet up and the date, where many guys imagine they are
trapped.

Most guys over-text women they’ve just texted as a way to get a momentary
feeling of validation. “She’s paying attention to me,” is the thought or feeling
that they desire. Before you send a text, take a breath and think about if it really
needs to be sent. In my opinion, it most likely doesn’t, unless it’s a logistical
text, or a problem that needs a response to be resolved.

If you’re doing something long distance, or there’s a very long space of time
between the initial meet-up and the date. Under these circumstances, use texts to
make plans to talk on the phone or over Skype. This will give you more of an
opportunity to connect with that person while you’re separated.

Last thing on pacing, I recognize that some guys really like texting. I’m not
exactly sure what the appeal is, but some guys love it. If you’re one of those
guys just recognize – it’s not necessary, it’s flare. Make the seduction the kind of
seduction that excites you and the person you’re trying to be with. Just be careful
not to over-text, be aware that it’s easy to misinterpret texts, and that at the end
of the day it’s what you do in person that will have the largest impact.


The Bottom Line on Texting
Sending text messages can be fun and flirty. But don't put too much
into it. There is nothing you're going to tap out on your iPhone that is going to
make her fall in love with you. When you put too much pressure on a text
message, that's when it gets frustrating. Instead, just have fun.

Rules for Texting for Maximum Success

Rule 1: Do Not Text to Avoid a Phone Conversation
Texting isn't meant to be used as a tool to avoid phone conversations.
Speaking to a woman on the phone has more seduction potential than a text
message (just like seeing her in person has more seduction potential than a
phone call).

If you recently opened, attracted and seeded a date with a woman, your next
goal is to meet up with her. The chances of setting this up with her via text
message are slimmer than via phone conversation and setting it up over the
phone are slimmer than seeding a date when you initially met. Bottom line:
Practice seeding!

Rule 2: Bring Value When Texting
Just like you should bring value for your wingman, you should apply the
same philosophy to your text message game. Low-value or no-value texts are
attempts to leech value from the woman, such as: "What’s up?" or "What are
you doing tonight?" or "When can I see you again?" These types of texts will get
you nowhere because they make you seem needy, invoke no positive emotion in
the woman and display nothing high-value about you.

When I text a woman in the early stages of seduction, it’s either to send
logistical information about a date or to solve a problem. For instance, if we had
a conversation about a book and at the time I couldn’t remember it, I might send
her a text that says, “Hey, that book was called: [book title].”

Rule 3: Never Over-Text
She might be the only thing on your mind at the moment, but you don't want
her to know that yet. If you come off as too needy, you'll lose her. Text once and
only once until you get a reply. After a reply you can text back. If she doesn't
respond to your text, then wait at least 24 hours before re-texting her.

Allow time in between your replies when in a text conversation. Don't give
her the impression that her text message conversation is the most important thing
happening for you. Remember that being non-needy and scarce is attractive.

Bonus Tip: A Quick Route to Familiarity
After getting her number, immediately send a text while you're still standing
right next to her, it creates a humorous moment between the two of you and
helps make you more familiar to her:

"You have my number now, but you are only allowed to call me once per
day."

"You have to stop staring at me, it’s making you look desperate.”

If, after texting her, she’ll save your number and your name, take that as a
definite indicator of interest. More importantly, when you call her later, your
phone number will pop up and be familiar to her. This makes her more likely to
answer. That said, you should still be practicing seeding, and working on
refining the steps leading up to getting the phone number.
 ________________________

Advanced Text Game Secrets
(2h Audio)

Learn from Neil Strauss' Attraction Mastermind Group in a 2 hour audio the secrets of advanced text
game.
Listen or download:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 23:
Creating a Seductive Atmosphere

"A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well
as the body." - Benjamin Franklin

Eventually, you're going to be bringing women back to your home. That
means you should spend some time thinking about how to set up your place and
make it a seductive and attractive atmosphere. Your home, like your clothing, is
an extension of your identity. That means your home says something about you
to anyone who enters it.

When you are thinking about setting up a seductive atmosphere for your
home start by paying attention to all five senses: What does it look like? What
does it smell like? What kinds of food and drink do you have to share? How
does it feel to be in your home? What kinds of music or sounds do you share in
your home?

Here is a checklist of details for you:

What exactly do you have in your house and what does it say about
you? The key is to have it stuffed with conversation starters. Pictures,
objects or art that makes her curious enough to ask you about it. That
way it will give you an opportunity to shine. Don't put anything on your
walls or on a visible shelf that you can’t talk about with an identity
story. Pieces of art, books, posters, photographs and everything else
should have a story that reveals something about you.
Lighting is more important than the size of the room. Light creates
atmosphere. Is your lighting sexy or oppressive? If you have bright
florescent light, it's not sexy. You can install spotlights that highlight
your conversation-starter items, dimmer switches to control brightness
or simply use lamps to give the atmosphere a more comfortable look.
 Have you done anything interesting with the paint or wallpaper? Using
warm accent colors can give a room a very cozy feeling. If not, maybe
consider it.
Is your place clean? If not, you’ll need to put some time in cleaning it or
hire someone to come by.
Do you have anything interesting to eat or drink in your house?
Everyone loves good food. A simple thing is to cut up a fruit plate with
honey – something delicious and easy to share with a potential lover. I
also suggest rare types of drinks that you can offer like mead, a special
cocktail, a rare wine, or something else you wouldn't find in the average
guy's house.
What does your house smell like? There are a lot of different scents out
there, so which one do you enjoy most? Choose one. I prefer incense,
but you can use a variety of air fresheners to give your place a great
smell.
Does your house look comfortable? This question refers to the fabrics
and textures of the furniture in your home. Look at your place and ask,
"Would I want to lay down and cuddle up on my couch? My bed? My
floor?" If not, then what can I do to make my place feel more
comfortable?
What do you have that will make getting physical easier? Do you have
condoms and lubrication by your bed? Massage oil? These things can
all boost your sexual experience.
What kind of music do you like to put on? I suggest using Spotify to
make a playlist of sexy and exciting songs. You can find my personal
playlist by following the link at the end of this chapter.

A few years ago, Neil Strauss took me to a party at his friend's apartment.
The event was fantastic, and all the women were having a great time. Mostly of
the fun came down to how entertaining it was to be at his place. His secret was
setting up each room in his apartment to have a completely different feel. One
room had co-operative video games people could play. Another room had a
dancer pole with couches on either side. Another was filled with fantastic art,
and each piece of art he had a crazy story for. The rooms also had different
lighting, which brought a different feel to each of them. His kitchen had all sorts
of unique and exciting types of liquor to drink; stuff most people haven't even
heard of. Guests at the party spent hours just wandering around checking out his
amazing home, begging to come back for another party. He was the most
interesting guy in every room, because every room had a little bit of his
personality in it.

When women first started coming back to my place after a date, I always had
trouble getting close to them unless we'd already been physical. I came up with
this little technique I call "The Smooth Move" to help me get closer to women
without being overly obvious.

• Start with some cut up fruits and veggies on a plate. (Have this ready
before you even go on the date.)
• When she comes over, let her find a place to sit.
• Once she finds a place to sit, you’re going to find somewhere else in the
room to relax. Somewhere near her, but preferably not on the couch with
her.
• Let her get comfortable on your couch while you talk for a while, or
throw on a movie.
• A few minutes into conversation or the movie say, "I'm going to grab
us some snacks."
• Grab the prepared plate of food.
• When you come in the room with the plate, sit next to her, so you can
share the food – but also, so you can sit next to her!

It's a smooth transition that allows you to get physically close to her without
being obvious. Remember, this is only really necessary if you haven't been
physical with her already. That said, if you've made it back to your place, and
you need a way to get close to her, this is a great move.


Where to get it

You might want to know where to get some interesting items for your home.
Here are a few suggestions:

Etsy.com: Etsy is a place where artists can sell whatever it is they
 make. Almost everything you find on his site will be unique. It's easily
my favorite site for finding things no one else will ever have.

EBay.com: EBay is great for finding collectors' items – signed posters,
old record players and records, arcade machines, pretty much anything
from the past that's hard to find, you can get on EBay.

Amazon.com: I use Amazon for anything ordinary that I need. I buy
nice appliances and kitchenware from Amazon.

Overstock.com: You'd be surprised how many single guys go through
life with one dirty set of bed sheets and old towels with bleach spots.
Don't be one of these guys. You can get new towels and bed sheets at
overstock at really affordable prices.

Local Nurseries: I love having plants in my home. Having life around
always feels good. Also, women have commented on my ability to keep
them alive and healthy for years. The best place to get plants are local
nurseries. Pick out some plants that you like and ask the professionals
that work there how to keep them alive and healthy looking in your
home.

Remember, your house says a lot about who you are, so take care of it, and
make it something exciting for people to visit. For more suggestions on cool and
sexy additions you can add to your home, check out the link at the end of this
chapter.



________________________

Tips On How Style Your Pad

Neil Strauss and his Attraction Mastermind Group share tips and insight in a 2 hour audio on "How to
Style Your House." Plus, I prepared a cheat sheet for you as well that makes it easier and fun. Visit:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
 or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________


 Chapter 24:
Adventure Dating

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.”

- Helen Keller

I have five rules for dating. They're easy to remember, and can radically
change your dating life, but before we get to the rules let's take a look at one
thing that most guys don't remember.

If a woman shows up for a date then you've done well! She didn’t have to
come. She made a choice to be with you that night. Have confidence that she
likes you, and is at least contemplating something romantic. All you have to do
is keep it from being an average date.

What's an average date? Well, it's something like taking a girl to a restaurant
sitting behind a table and asking her interview questions all night long. You buy
the dinner and the drinks, and maybe walk her back to her place. You wait until
the last moment before making a move and likely get rejected. Nothing exciting,
nothing exceptional.

The seducer goes on adventures. Adventures can be wild, exotic, intriguing,
and thoughtful. I want you to learn how to go on adventures with women; not
dates. You and she are characters in a story and that story is exciting.

These six rules will help you turn dates into adventures and minimize
possible mistakes:

RULE #1: Present Your Best Authentic Identity

Whatever venue you take your date should be a place that allows you to
express your identity. In other words, the location you pick should allow you to
easily bring up identity stories and share yourself.

RULE #2: Explore Multiple Venues

The more places you visit with a person the longer they'll feel they knew
you, because you shared more experiences together. If you go boating and
afterwards to a cooking class, she will learn more about you than if you just go
for dinner. Why? Because each environment comes with different sights and
sounds, it generates new types of conversations, it suggests different things
about your individual qualities, and at the end of the day you'll learn more about
a person than you possibly could in just one place.

RULE #3: Ask Interesting Questions

You need to learn about each other, which means you shouldn't be the only
one talking. Be sure that you're finding out what you can about the woman you
are interested in. The questions should be relevant to the conversation. If she's
talking about her job, then think of questions that will reveal something about
her. You're looking to answer questions like these:

• Why does she do what she does?
• How does she feel about different aspects of her life?
• What kinds of things does she want to do in her life?
• What has she accomplished in her life, and how does she feel about
those accomplishments?
• What stories does she have to tell?

RULE #4: Simplify Logistics

Before the date, always make a plan for where you're going and how you're
getting there. Send the name and address of the location the night before the date
via email or text message. If you're planning on going from venue to venue, then
spend some time planning out how you're going to get to each place. Being stuck
at a venue, standing outside trying to figure out how you're planning to get
somewhere can be a real mood killer. Also, dependent on the place you might
want to let her know what she should wear. She'll appreciate it if she is not going
horseback riding in a cocktail dress.

RULE #5: Always Be Flexible

Sometimes you'll end up somewhere that the woman doesn’t enjoy. That's
fine. Just be ready to move on and have a backup plan if this happens. That is
another reason why I suggest going to multiple venues on your date. If they don't
like the place, you can easily move on and keep the vibe of the date positive.

RULE #6: Don't make your move at the last minute

Most guys hesitate when it comes to going for the kiss. They wait until the
very last minute, creating an awkward moment. Even if they manage a kiss, the
situation is lack-luster. When you're on a date and the opportunity arises, go for
the kiss.

Note: Impatience and hesitation are not the same thing. If you go for the kiss
before she's comfortable, you're impatient. If you see an opportunity and chicken
out then you’re hesitating. Look for a comfortable window of opportunity to go
for the kiss, and go for it. Take a bold romantic step forward.

Examples from students:

One of my students, a painter, would bring women to the arts district in Los
Angeles. The streets there are covered in art painted by a variety of famous street
artists. The arts district is also home to a number of hip bars and restaurants.
They started their night walking the streets as he told her about the art, and what
it meant to him. He talked about how he was inspired by the individual artists,
while they barhopped from venue to venue.

Another student, in New York, used to take his dates to an improv show
every Friday night. This particular student was a comedian, and always liked to
start his nights with a laugh. From there he'd walk with them to a local bar and
then to a 24-hour diner. If everything went well, they'd end up back at his place,
which was also in the neighborhood.

 One of my favorite examples is from a friend who decided to build a pillow
fort in his living room with a girl he'd met. Once the fort was built he made plans
to go out for burgers at a nearby burger joint, with the promise of playing truth
or dare in the fort once they returned. It wasn't long before the game went from
PG to XXX.

Should I buy drinks for a woman I'm interested in?

My advice is, if it feels like you're paying for the woman's time, don't do it.
You'll feel used and she'll feel obligated, which will drive her away from you.
That’s what I tell my students when they ask about buying drinks when they're
out meeting women. Paying for her time means that she's sticking around just
because you're paying for her drinks and for no other reason.

Don't put yourself in that situation. Go ahead and buy drinks, but only if it's
the kind of situation where you'd buy one for a friend.

Try this: When you're on a date say, "I’ll get the first round you get the
next." It's something I've done with friends, and dates – it's a great way to make
paying the bill easy and comfortable.
 ________________________

Let The Adventure Begin!

There are how-to videos, cheat sheets that help you memorize and step-by-step exercises that go along
with each chapter and a community of fellow students.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________




 Chapter 25:
How Attract And Seduce Can Change Your Life

"It is not that I'm so smart.

But I stay with the questions much longer."
― Albert Einstein

It can change your life by helping you to become a more attractive and
seductive individual. If you follow the steps in this book and put in the time and
practice we suggest, you can become the best version of yourself. You can be the
man other men want to be and that women want to love. You can be the most
interesting guy in the room.

Get a girlfriend, lover or wife: It can help you achieve romantic success.
No matter your romantic goal, if you study this art form you can achieve it. I've
had students go from zero to hero in less than a year, and they did it using the
four steps provided in this book: Open, Attract, Connect, and Seduce. Make that
your mantra, practice it when you go out and in no time you'll be dating the
women you've always dreamed of.

Avoiding the "Friend zone": Almost all men ended up in the "Friend
Zone" at some point or another. You want to be more than friends but she thinks
of you as just a friend. Using the principles and techniques described earlier, it
will be easier to being a romantic relationship, with someone you’re interested
in.

Win friends and get a better job: It can help you dramatically improve
your communication skills. The art of seduction doesn't stop at just seducing
women. Seduction is inherent in all human communication. That means once
you understand the principles you'll be making new friends, opening windows
for new business opportunities, and improving your relations with preexisting
friends and family members.

Freedom of mind and choice. It can free up your mind of stress. Not being
able to attract women can be mentally overwhelming, because your mind tends
to revolve around what you desire. It takes up time and energy, and can be the
cause of tremendous stress. As you improve your seduction and attraction skills,
you'll start to have more choice in your life. You will be able to choose your
friends and lovers, and that stress will start to dissolve. You'll free up some
mental space and begin to see a more creative and less stressful future ahead of
you.

Confidence. As we've said before: confidence is built through small
successes. You've picked up this book, now it’s time to get out and practice. Set
small goals and achieve them. Know that with each success comes confidence
and that confidence will support you when you're attempting to accomplish
future goals. Over time, you'll become the confident guy you've always wanted
to be.

What's next?

Now that you have an understanding of the art of attraction and seduction,
and the different ways that you can go about seducing the women you're
attracted to, I would like to invite you to watch some great videos that can really
keep you moving forward towards your goals. The collection of videos explores
the individual steps that you've read about in this book. They're all there to help
you become a more attractive and seductive person.

You'll find videos with new routines, confidence exercises, approach
improvement techniques, and sexual technique. You can also find a forum with
like-minded attraction and seduction students and coaches who can help you
through sticking points you may run into.
 ________________________

What Are You Waiting For?

There are how-to videos, cheat sheets that help you memorize and step-by-step exercises that go along
with each chapter and a community of fellow students.
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 26:
Happily Ever After

Learning attraction and seduction is great and most guys are using it to find
the right girl for a long-term relationship. As any guy who’s in one of those will
tell you, long-term relationships are just a different kind of game. The two of
you are hopefully doing what you can to keep yourselves living exciting,
adventures, productive, romantic lives - day in and day out.

If you can do that, you've got a partner for life. The main thing to start a
strong long-term relationship is finding ways to keep the flame burning and the
ability to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. And there are a lot more ways to do
that than picking her up flowers on your way home from the office. Here are five
tools we recommend to men who are worried about keeping the special lady in
their life interested.

Take Her Away
One of the simplest ways to create excitement in your relationship is a
weekend getaway. You don't have to fly her across the country or take her to a
five-star spa. In fact, spending the night in a hotel room that's not your home can
inject a bit of "one night stand" excitement into your long-term relationship.
Make the night extra special by getting her some sexy lingerie and the best bottle
of wine you can reasonably afford.

Women want to know that they're desired – that you're still interested in
them. Taking her somewhere outside of the ordinary, where the two of you can
have one serious one-on-one time away from the distractions of ordinary life is a
simple, but powerful, way to communicate this to her.

Talk Openly About Fantasies
Talking openly about sexual fantasies can be difficult for a lot of people. The
good news is that when a relationship progresses, it becomes a lot easier for you
to speak openly and frankly about it.

If you have trouble doing this face to face, set up a fantasy exchange. You
each write some down on a piece of paper, seal it in an envelope and open them
at the same time.

Will she want to do everything you want? Maybe. You'll be surprised. And
the list of stuff she's willing to try is almost certainly going to be longer than the
list of things she won't even think about. What's more, she's going to be more
likely to try the things you want if you're also willing to try some new stuff. So
man up and have a talk about it.

Chores
It sounds boring, but one of the biggest things you can do to keep a
relationship healthy is doing chores. Chores basically break down into one of
two broad categories:

• The One She Hates: Maybe it's laundry. Maybe it's dishes. Maybe it's
walking the dog. Whatever it is, there’s one chore that’s "hers" that she just
can't stand doing. Surprise her by doing it for her one day without being
asked. It's one of the simple, straightforward things you can do that's going
to make a huge difference to her.
• Fixing Things: Even if you have the money to have everything fixed or
cleaned for you, take some time to learn how some of the stuff around your
house works. The fact that you can fix little mechanical things or that you
have some tricks for cleaning and doing repairs on the house is attractive.
Youtube can teach you how to install, fix, or build most simple to
moderately complex household things.

Breakfast in Bed
This is sort of like bringing her flowers, but it takes (a lot) more work. First,
you have to get up without disturbing her. Then you have to make breakfast.
Having a good breakfast spread or two in your cooking repertoire is a serious big
boy power move that will put you above all the other men she's ever dated.

Cereal's not going to cut it here, guys. Learn an egg dish, some kind of cool
way of making toast and some kind of breakfast meat that isn’t just bacon right
out of the package. Just a little bit of effort here is going to go a long, long way,
whether it's with Ms. Right or Ms. Last Night.

Last words on relationships. I’m not sure there’s enough time in one lifetime
to become a master of the long-term game, despite what people might claim. I
try my best to keep the person I’m with loved and in love. If something works,
go with it, if it doesn’t move on – try something new or try a new person. Don’t
let things get stagnant, it’s the one sure thing I’ve seen drown relationships.
Keep improving, connecting, and communicating, and you’ll likely find yourself
in a good place with the one amazing woman you truly care about.

________________________

Are You In A Healthy Relationship?

Wonderful! If not, I have prepared 10 questions that will help you assess your relationship and fun tips
to make it sexy. Check it out here:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________

 Chapter 27:
From Awkward Nerd To Confident Dating Coach:
An Inspirational Interview

Stylelife: So, I'm here with The Sneak who's a coach for Stylelife
and was originally a student at Stylelife. I wanted to start by just asking you
where you come from and what your background is? Tell me a little bit about
yourself.

The Sneak: Well, I was a very nerdy kid growing up. I think I
always had a good heart but I was very misunderstood. I could be quite stubborn
and ultimately repellent towards people that I would have wanted to attract. That
caused a lot of frustration in my childhood. I really did want to be closer to
people, but I just couldn't figure out how to be closer to people. That continued
throughout my high school years and into college, up until the point that I
discovered Stylelife.

Stylelife: What happened when you discovered that it was possible
to learn the art of attraction and seduction?

The Sneak: I was excited. I was really excited just to do something
like try out an opener and talk to people. For me, that was amazing, the fact that
I could go up to a group of people that I didn't know and suddenly be in a
conversation with them. I thought that that was already life-changing for me
personally and I didn't grow tired of doing it. I just loved to go out all the time
and just talk to new people at that point in my life.

Stylelife: What did you find to be the hardest thing about learning to
talk to women, just to start conversations?

The Sneak: I didn't think it was very hard, actually, I thought that it was a
relatively easy step. You obviously have to defeat your own anxiety of walking
up to a woman or a group of people and I'm not going to pretend that wasn't
something that I struggled with for a little while. Overall, once you see that it
works, you actually give it a shot and you try it out and you realize that, "Wow,
that actually worked, these people are talking to me." It starts to become easier
each time. Your confidence in yourself and in the material is building so the
anxiety lessens. That was probably the hardest thing that I had to deal with but I
got past it pretty quick. Ultimately, it was actually an easy step for me.

Stylelife: What was the hardest lesson for you to learn?

The Sneak: Active disinterest, also referred to as disqualification, is
still the hardest thing for me to understand. I understand it now intellectually
after having studied this material for as long as I have, but executing it is
something that continues to require practice and every now and then I get it
right. When I do, I'm really excited.

Stylelife: What was difficult about it? What made it so hard to learn,
compared to the other material?

The Sneak: One of the first things that makes it harder to learn, is
that there's a certain timing that's crucial in practicing it. That timing is not
necessarily "right away". For example, learning an opener, you do that first. So I
can always go out and practice an opener. But, as you get into things that happen
later on, like active disinterest, generally you want the people to be already
talking to you, and in a good conversation, before you start doing something like
that. Even just getting to it can be tough. Then once you're getting into it, it
requires you to take risks a little bit more, and try on a new behavior a little bit
more than some of the other steps. Being comfortable in accessing a different
part of yourself and expressing a different part of yourself that you're not used to
expressing that's very different from what you've done in the past, makes it a
challenging step to learn.

Stylelife: As a coach what are three revelations you want to share
with a student who wants to learn the art or attraction and seduction?

 The Sneak: The first lesson that I would want them to think about is
the principle, “Be the Exception”. You want to stand out in a positive way.
Everything can be traced back to that. Whenever you think about a specific
technique that you're learning, it should always be able to point back to that
particular principle and it always does. Having done it long enough, things really
do come back to that. So, I want them to consider what that means to them, to be
the exception, and to really put that in their brain as something that they should
always be able to come back to, and make sure that they're doing the right
things.

The second point would be that it's going to be a journey; not
something that happens overnight. They should have consistency in their
practice throughout their journey. They shouldn't think of it as a sprint, but more
of a marathon or a life-long running across the globe at a pace that you can keep
up with. I don't think that they should view it as something that they're going to
go out and practice 50 times and then never practice again, or something like
that. I'd rather they say I'm going to practice twice a week for 25 weeks and then
continue practicing twice a week for 25 more weeks. That would be a better way
to go about it.

The third tip would be to not just intellectually understand the idea
of pushing themselves and trying on new behaviors and ideas and ways of being
that they're not used to, but going beyond an intellectual understanding of that
and actually exploring what that means. You can talk to a student for a long time
about change, and he can nod his head and smile and completely believe that
he's along for the journey. But then suggest that he tries to wear a different shirt
and he might freak out and say, "No, I won't try that new shirt on." That's where
the truth comes out. If you're a new student coming into this, don't trick yourself
and be nodding your head yes, unless you're actually also doing it and saying,
"Yes, I'm going to go out and try this thing on," whether it be a shirt, or an
opener or a disqualifier, whatever it is, actually give it a shot and see how it
feels. If it makes you uncomfortable, you still have to keep exploring it until you
understand what's happening.

Stylelife: What pitfalls do you think a student will run into? Like
common pitfalls.

The Sneak: The most common pitfall that stops guys is usually
laziness, which goes back to having to practice on a consistent basis. You have
to find a way to make it part of your life and something you enjoy doing
consistently. Stubbornness and not willing to try out new things is another one.
The idea that you already know lots of stuff can get in your way.

The Pseudo Experts, some guys, they already feel like they have all the
answers, because they have studied all the material. But then they are asking
questions anyway. That inhibits their growth. If you're here asking questions,
somewhere deep down, you must know you don't have all the answers. So don't
fall into the trap of suddenly feeling like you already know it all. Accept the
basic idea that it's going to be a journey and you're going to be making all kinds
of discoveries forever.

I'm still learning all the time within this art form. I've been doing it for a long
time, but I can honestly say I'm still growing and I should still be growing. I
think that that's correct. I don't think that that's me like, "Why is it taking him so
long to have learned everything?" There's always more you can learn. When you
start to feel like you know it all, you're probably in trouble.

Stylelife: What was your study like when you were beginning to
study the art of attraction and seduction? What would you suggest for new
students coming into it for practice?

The Sneak: My study was going out at least 4 times a week, for at
least 3 hours a night, for my first month. I read this in some old community
book, it was called The Newbie Drill. The truth is, I really enjoyed it. As I said,
when I was running the openers, the fact that I was meeting new groups of
people and they were just having a conversation blew my mind. It was really
exciting for me, considering I came from a place where I struggled to connect
with people. It was miraculous. I loved it. I would go out sometimes five nights a
week, six nights a week, seven nights a week. It got to a point where it probably
wasn't healthy. I was doing a worse job at my work as a stand-up comedian. The
other things that I was exploring at the time were suffering because my life
became out of balance because I was so excited. I don't think that someone has
to do that in their practice to succeed. As a matter of fact, I pulled back from
that. When I pulled back, I actually got better at communicating with people. I
still enjoyed those times when I was going out all the time, but when I went back
to doing it, say 4 times a week and no more, my skills actually grew.

So I do think that there's a sweet spot somewhere around 4 times
per week, however that's a lot for a lot of people and I don't think that it's
completely necessary. If you can dedicate yourself to say, going out 2 times a
week for 3 hours a night and practicing consistently for a couple of months like
that, I think that's fantastic. The bare minimum that I would recommend would
be going out one night a week. That's just if your life is really crazy busy right
now but you're interested in this and you're planning on practicing even more at
some point. But right now, you're just trying to groove into it, my minimum for
you would be once a week, 3 hours a night, and make sure you approach at least
4 groups of people while you're out there, to consider it a true night of practice.
Unless, of course, you meet somebody in the first, second, or third approach
that's so incredible that you end up spending the rest of the night with them. In
which case, fantastic night of practice and fantastic night of your life.

Stylelife: Has the art of seduction benefited other areas of your life
besides romantic interests?

The Sneak: I've used it to make great groups of friends and an
extensive social circle. Eventually, I've become a member of a band through my
social connections with people. So it affects my creative life tremendously.
Within the context of being in a band, if there's a joke that I think is funny that I
want the other two guys to think it's funny, I've used techniques that I've learned
socially to get them excited about the joke that I want to get on stage. Honestly,
the education runs through all my interactions.

I think that it's inseparable from me at this point. On some level, I'm
probably thinking about the way that I'm communicating with someone. On
some level, I'm probably always trying to be a bit more seductive than the
average human being, just because I spent so long thinking about it. I get to
manifest things into the universe that I want to manifest. So it affects all areas of
my life and even probably all interactions of my life.

Stylelife: Great. Thanks for hanging out.

Stylelife: How long did it take you to set up a date with a woman?

The Sneak: For a couple of months, I just practiced starting comfortable
conversations with people. A few more months went by as I worked on
generating attraction, conveying interest, and closing.

The first real dates started rolling in around the half-year mark. That was a
very big deal for me. Previously, my dating like was pretty much non-existent.
Now, I was having all kinds of crazy adventures.

Stylelife: Can you tell me about one of those crazy adventures?

The Sneak: I'd been practicing in Manhattan. The bars had all closed, so I
was riding the L train back to my place in Brooklyn. Sitting at the end of the
train was a girl who looked like she had jumped off the pages of a magazine.
Nobody looks that cool in real life. She was with one other girl, so I thought...
What I didn't know was that the eight, very tough looking guys sitting
nearby were also their friends. To everyone else, I looked far braver than I
actually was. What I did know was time was very limited.

Having practiced on the subway before, I had a little routine to find out what
stop they were and then I had to use every one of those moments as efficiently as
possible. We hit it off really well and ended up having a whirlwind romance of
sorts.

She was truly one of the great loves of my life. Never in a million years did I
dream that I'd meet a girl like that while riding on the NYC Subway, It's pretty
cool when life exceeds your dreams. 

________________________

Want To Learn More About What Women Think?

 Read the interviews of Alex and Christina.
What they think about life, love, attraction and seduction:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 28:
How I Got My Girlfriend:
A Powerful Success Story

Stylelife: All right. We love to celebrate successes. Stringer has

come a long way in a relatively short period of time, and has had some major
breakthroughs in the past year. Can you tell us a little bit about who you are and
where you came from, and set us up with a little bit of your back story?

Stringer: I never really had trouble getting into relationships. I was
always in the wrong relationships. What I found myself doing time and time
again, was committing a lot of time to relationships that just weren't good for
me, and ultimately were just a complete waste of time and could have even
damaged my life in a lot of ways. What learning the art of attraction and
seduction at Stylelife allowed me to do, was develop skill sets. Having the
ability to select the type of woman that I wanted to be with romantically and also
who I wanted to be with as far as friends go. It taught me skills to completely
rebuild my social circle. At this time, I have a very rich life, full of friends and a
great girlfriend, who I've been with for a year. We've recently moved in together,
and we're very much in love.

Stylelife: That's great, fantastic. We love to see our students
experiencing such amazing things such as that. Can you tell me a little about any
specific attraction and seduction techniques or advice that helped you build that
success?

Stringer: I would have to say that as far as techniques go, there was
a technique that Byron taught me called Identity Storytelling. What this did, was
it allowed me to begin to start telling stories about my own life in a very
passionate way. It allowed me to convey my identity quickly and allowed me to
connect with people, on a social, emotional, or personal connection very quickly.
That was something I hadn't been doing. I also hadn't really been telling stories
at all. One of the great things about learning how to do Identity Storytelling, was
that it actually taught me how to tell a good story. Now I find myself telling
stories a lot more and entertaining people. Whereas, I never would have done
that before.

Stylelife: When you say entertaining people, what do you mean by
that?

Stringer: I mean being able to hold the attention of an entire group
of people, say at a dinner party for an extended period of time, with just a story. I
may have been at a social venue before, or maybe out to dinner with friends, but
I never would have been the star of any conversation for more than just a
comment. I might say a sentence here and there. I would never contribute more
than a sentence at a time.

Stylelife: What does it feel like you, to be able to contribute
confidently? What's the biggest difference in how you feel, knowing that you
can have confident contributions?

Stringer: I feel like people are actually having an opportunity to get
to know me, whereas before I was limiting myself by not contributing
confidently, and basically hiding all the things that are great about me.

Stylelife: Do you think that once you've been able to share those
things, the rewards have been really tangible for you? Can you name specific
ways that your life has changed?

Stringer: Definitely. Ever since I started doing the Identity Story
telling routine and began developing my ability as a storyteller, I’ve had greater
friendships, greater relationships, and I've also noticed that it's improved my
management ability and my compliance at work.

Stylelife: Do you think that there were any other big Ah-Ha
moments or epiphanies for you, other than Identity Storytelling? Things that
you learned that really shifted the way you were thinking?

Stringer: One of the things that I learned was the idea of being
indirect with the approach, and the extent to which you can take that. One of the
first things that I've learned from The Sneak, is that you can open a set by not
even actually opening that set. You can wear something interesting, or you can
be loud enough when you're talking about something interesting that other
people who are around you can either hear you or see you, and be interested in
what you're saying or wearing and wanting to just talk to you as a result of that.
Which is pretty much the most indirect you can be in opening a set.

Stylelife: Right, absolutely. Did you experience success of getting to
meet some interesting people, that you don't think that you would have been able
to meet if you didn't know how to open indirectly?

Stringer: Yeah. There have been numerous times when girls, guys,
people, anyone really at the bar, who have heard me talking to a bartender about
a specific drink, got intrigued by what I was talking about and joined the
conversation. They would ask what I ordered and often didn't expect me to have
such an extensive knowledge of different drinks of the alcoholic persuasion. I
was able to start a conversation about that. Then, I'm getting some more
interesting identity story telling.

Stylelife: It sounds like you feel that Identity Storytelling was a
major shift in your life and really allowed you to express things and be a little bit
more interesting. When you have people seeing that they're interested in you, do
you find that to be something that you were able to spot previously in your life,
where people were giving you signs that they were interested or is that
something that you've gotten better at spotting since you've been practicing?

Stringer: I think, it's something that I've gotten better at spotting
since I've been practicing. I also feel like I've been getting a lot more interest.
I've been receiving a lot more interest since I started telling identity stories. I
think that identity stories, also like I said, taught me how to just tell any story.
The structure of identity stories, especially the Identity Storytelling exercise that
Byron created and teaches at the boot camp, really teaches somebody how to tell
a story, because there's a beginning, a middle, and a definite end to each story.

Stylelife: If there was a time where you were not sure what to do
while talking to a woman or a group of people, how do you proceed from there,
if you just feel like you've lost track of things?

Stringer: If I wanted to gauge the interest in a set?

Stylelife: Sure.

Stringer: If I really wanted to see how interested people were in me,
I would disappear for a little bit. I might walk away. I might excuse myself and
go to the bathroom and come back later and see if I was missed or not, see how
things have changed when I've returned. If people don't really seem like they
care too much, that means I need to be more interesting. If people are really
excited that I'm back, it would probably seem like I'd be in pretty good shape.

Stylelife: I like that. Do you think that the average person would be
able to use this stuff?

Stringer: I think that the average person could use this stuff and
achieve success.

Stylelife: Where would you recommend somebody to start, if they
were just starting out?

Stringer: I would recommend that they start by reading something
that either Byron or the other Stylelife coaches have written. I would recommend
getting on the Stylelife Academy and checking out the forums, to learn from
that. I also would recommend that people take the Ultimate Training Program in
order to get a really strong foundation. They’ll get the introduction from Neil
Strauss, because Neil's the guy who wrote The Game. A lot of people know that.
If you don't know that then I would say start there; read The Game. Most people
know that now, so I would say go ahead. If you haven't read The Game, read it.
Secondly, take the Ultimate Training Program, where you're going to get all
sorts of great advice from the Stylelife Coaches and Neil Strauss.

 Stylelife: Great. For the last question, I want to know if you can
share a story with us, about a time you used these techniques and you saw
something actually shift from your usage of one of these techniques, like a tale
from the field.

Stringer: Sure. Gosh. Let me nail them down, my friend. Let me tell
you the story about how I met my current girlfriend. There was a moment when I
first met her, when I realized that the man that I was before had no chance at all
at attracting her, because she was full of shit tests. She was very flirty when I
met her. Which to me before, I would have misinterpreted her flirting as being
offended, not interested in me. She was just giving me a hard time, like girls will
do when they're flirting.

Stylelife, in general, equipped me with the idea that I could just
walk by, I could banter back and forth, and reply with interesting comments
maybe about something that I was wearing. For instance, when I first met my
girlfriend, she commented that the lion lapel on my jacket was interesting, and
said that it reminded her of the Wizard of Oz. Some guys might be offended by
that or might react negatively to that comment, but it actually lead right into an
identity story for me that was really powerful, and really changed her mind. For
her, just saying something off-handed in a joking way, I was really able to
connect with her. I think that that moment right there, where I was able to
respond to her lead banter with something that actually touched her, and allowed
her to emotionally connect with me. That was a moment when I really saw the
game changing of who I was and my idea of what was really possible in the
world.

Stylelife: Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I
do think that having met your girlfriend, I can say she's an incredible human
being. Having met you, I can say you’re an incredible human being. I am excited
that you were able to meet her and connect in the way that you have, because
you two deserve each other. I just want to give you an amazing congratulations
on all your success. Very nice stuff man.

Stringer: Thanks Jay. Thank you sir.

Stylelife: You rock.
 
________________________

What Are 3 "Must Have" Characteristics
In A Man? What Are Your Tips
For Our Sheepish, Embarrassed Guy?

Read the interviews with Dash and Jahmelia. What do these women think about life, love, attraction
and seduction:
http://stylelife.com/AttractAndSeduce/train
or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________
 Chapter 29:
Underlying Principles: A Conversation About How to
Never Use Another Line Again and Still Succeed

Stylelife: What was the #1 most impactful lesson you learned while
studying the art of attraction and seduction?

Nic: I have to pick two. Learning by principles and identity.

The lesson of learning by principles is to look beyond the tactics and
techniques and find out the underlying principle that makes them work. What is
so valuable about that lesson, is that once you learn the principle, you can
develop an infinite number of techniques that are more congruent with your
personality and your style. By learning principles, you’ll truly be learning
seduction and start becoming a seductive person instead of learning lines and
becoming a social robot.

The other lesson is in regards to identity. I asked Byron what the
biggest challenge was that he would see in students trying to learn seduction. His
answer was something along these lines: The students that have the toughest
time are the ones that hold more tightly to the identity they think they have. They
are afraid to do things differently because they think that they will lose who they
are. They don’t understand that it is not about being someone else but about
accessing aspects of who they already are at the right time. For example, we all
have moments when we are serious, moments when we are funny, moments
when we are sexual, etc. But not every state is appropriate all the time. Being
flexible in your identity is about knowing and being comfortable with all the
shades of your own personality so you can access them when you need to.

The lesson here then, is that If you don’t get past the idea that your
identity is flexible instead of rigid and you don’t commit to developing that
flexibility, you will have a very limited range of women that you will attract.

Stylelife: How do you use seduction to enhance your life?

Nic: Any skill that involves communicating with other human beings can be
enhanced with the principles of seduction, so beyond using them to bring more
women into my life, I also use them in business, marketing, making new friends,
influencing people, and negotiation.

I also feel that the study of seduction has motivated me to pay attention to
several aspects of my life that I didn’t work on as much as I should have, like my
health, fitness and overall wellbeing.

Stylelife: How has your life changed since studying seduction?

Nic: Realizing that seduction was an art that could be learned and not
something that you had to be born with allowed me to go after what I wanted
instead of feeling like a victim of random circumstances. That, to me, is the most
important change and it translates to many other areas of my life. But there are
also the obvious benefits of feeling more comfortable with who I am, meeting
more people, living more adventures, and having more sex.

Stylelife: What was the most difficult concept for you to grasp in
your study and how did you overcome the challenge?

Nic: Flexibility of identity.

It is not a difficult concept to understand but a very difficult skill to
master. I will also say that it’s the one that will create the most significant
change and improvement.

Accessing specific aspects of your personality on
command is challenging. I feel like I have gotten better at it and have grown to
feel more comfortable summoning different shades of my own personality
depending on what the situation requires. The way I get better is by pushing to
do things that feel out of character for me in the moment. I might make mistakes,
feel uncomfortable, and even lose the girl, but the extra flexibility I gain in my
identity is well worth the price.

Stylelife: Was there any particular technique that you found
especially helpful?

Nic: One of my favorite techniques is Identity Storytelling. When this
becomes second nature, you have unlimited material and you get to display your
identity in the most fluent, authentic and efficient way possible.
Stylelife: Can you share a specific story from your life, where you
used the lessons to accomplish something great?
Nic: To me a good seduction happens when I can bring new girls into my
life without interfering with the long term relationship I have with the girl I love.
To do that, I have to make sure that I plan a good seduction, manage
expectations properly, and be very strategic about how I deal with the new
women that come into my life. Without the lessons I learned, I wouldn’t be able
to have the best of both worlds.
________________________

What Do Women Think About Love,

Attraction and Seduction?

Read the interviews with April, Noemi, Nicole and Cooper. What do these women think about life,
love, attraction and seduction:
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or text your email address
to (310) 589-3568
________________________