Topic: Language and Sex/Gender: Men vs Women Language

Introduction

Language and gender refers to the relationship between men and women language.
Gender differences not only reflect men's and women's language skills, but also their
different lifestyles and attitudes. Gender differences are a popular study to be researched in
areas such as psychology, sociolinguistics, and women's studies (Gu: 2013).

There are several things to note about this difference. Men concentration is devoted to
power, they want to lead something, while women are more satisfied with the status of their
subordinates. Speak directly is the way men talk in general and believe that providing
information is the first priority, while women speak indirectly, inexplicit, and mildly. For
women, manifest feelings is very important (Gu: 2013).

Research on men and women language has been around for a long time and is still
being done. The researches on language and gender began in the late 1970s and early 1980s
in China. The domestic researches into four aspects, that are western theories introduction;
sexism reflected in language; gender differences in language; and gender differences in
communication (Li: 2014).

In the general, amount of talk refers to how much a speaker speaks in a conversation.
Concerning gender is to study which gender is more talkative. Based on recognition, women
are more talkative. This has been proven in research that has been done. However, recent
studies challenge it. Mary M. Talbot states in her book is Language and Gender: An
Introduction, the conclusion that men are more talkative under some occasions. Many other
scholars further deepened the study and arrived at the same conclusion (Li: 2014).

Genderlect style is part of intercultural communication theory which looks at the

differences in communication styles between men and women in a social reality. Deborah
Tannen studies and researches about genderlect style, especially regarding the ways of
communicating, as well as the barriers to speech between men and women (Juliano: 2015).

Genderlect style speak of conversational style, which is not what is said but how it is
expressed. Tannen believes that there is a distance between men and women, because men
and women are in a cross-cultural position (cross culture). Therefore, it is necessary to
anticipate this distance, because failure to observe differences in communication styles can
lead to big problems later. Tannent described the misunderstanding between men and women
with regard to the fact that the focus of women's conversations is on connectivity, while men
are on the service of their status and independence (Juliano: 2015).

The theory that has been put forward earlier will be tested on Indonesian men and
women. The differences in the language used by men and women will be shown in jokes,
childhood, and adulthood. Examples used can be found in everyday life. This is done to prove
the theories in men and women language.

Discussion

1. Jokes

From another point of view, men tell more stories than women, especially about
things that are jokes. Women have a different concept of jokes than men. Jokes are a way for
men to negotiate status. This is in line with what the Wolvin brothers have described in their
book “Communicating: 6th Edition”, where one of the important aspects used in
communication is jokes. Her research shows that men and women do not use jokes in the
same way. Here are some categories of comparison between men and women jokes (Juliano:
2015).

Table 1. Comparison of Men and Women Jokes

Category Men’s Jokes Women’s Jokes
Attitude Competitive Cooperative
Source Distrust, hostility, envy, jealousy Caring concern
Effect Makes some people feel good at Let’s everyone feel good
expense of other
Tone Negative Positive
Type Sarcasm Kidding
Focus What one of us did What any of us might do
Target The weak Spotlighting issues in their lives
the powerful

Men jokes is exemplified below. This happened during lunch at the office. Several
men gathered and made jokes on each other.
Anton : “Yesterday, I was praised by the boss for doing a good job. I was promised a
promotion.”

Rudi : "Me too. Not even just a position, my salary will be increased!"

Danang : "Position? Salary? The boss is my uncle! I'm his favorite nephew."

Anton : "Hahaha. In your dream!"

Rudi : "Hahaha. What is the proof?"

Danang : “The proof is that tomorrow we won't meet at the office again." *smirk face*

Women jokes is exemplified below. This happened during lunch at the party. Several
women gathered and made jokes on each other.

Tiara : “Look. Is my dress nice?”

Yuni : “Very nice, Honey. Where did you buy it?”

Tiara : “This is a gift from my husband.”

Marimar : “You're lucky! Your husband's taste is good. Look at my dress! Hahaha!”

Tiara and Yuni laughed too.

Yuni : “It’s okay, Honey. The most important thing is his heart is sincere to you.”

Tiara : “That is true.”

Marimar : “Hahaha! Thank you all.”

The two examples of jokes above are very different. The differences have been
mentioned in Table 1. There are two theories that explain this difference. The first theory is
that the language used by men is more dominant, while women's language is used to confirm
something. The second theory is that the experiences received from each gender make their
language styles different. Gentle treatment makes women's gender need protection and
protection. Meanwhile, the men gender shows the courage to nurture and protect (Yuliani:
2013).
 2. Childhood

Boys and girls tend to have differences in how they talk to their friends. Boys tend to
play in large groups where there is a position structure where there is or no competition for
leadership, there are winners and losers in every game that men play where the rules are quite
complex. The emphasis is on expertise and who is the best among them. Meanwhile, girls
tend to play in small groups, even just the two of them, and will usually become good friends;
intimacy is key. Each one gets a turn and usually no one wins or loses, and girls don't boast
about their success. Girls are generally not bossy, they express it as a suggestion (Juliano:
2015).

An example of a boy's language is when they play soccer together. They fight for
victory. Not only team wins, individuals also compete to score the most points. These things
are less attractive to girls.

An example of a girl's language is when they play cooking together. Some become
chefs and others become customers. They take turns playing it. If something is not suitable,
they will provide suggestions to make the game more exciting. According to the boys, this
was less challenging and boring.

The first education a child receives starts at home. Parents direct, guide, and provide
examples for child development. Parents will also treat differences in caring for boys and
girls. The treatment patterns that are differentiated between men and women which are
formed from the home as the first pattern of printing received by boys and girls, so that from
this it makes the two genders master different language patterns (Yuliani: 2013).

For example, fathers will play with boys and the form of play is physical play. When
fathers play with daughters, dads are more likely to use speaking skills. Thus, trained girls
with mastery of language and vocabulary for girls will increase in number compared to boys,
while physical skills are not obtained by girls from their fathers. The opposite is true for boys
(Yuliani: 2013).
 3. .Adulthood
In a conversation, women tend to tell things in a complicated way. Everything that is
related can be said in a long way, but the point is very simple. While men do not process long
information with a picture that is too broad. Therefore, men often look bored with
complicated stories. Men tend to say what they have to say, assuming the message is clear
and moving ahead of the point. Therefore, men believe that women like to waste time, talk
too much and don't get to their point, whereas men tend to be more to the point.
Examples of conversations between men and women below. A couple of lovers are
having dinner together. They tell the things that happened that day.

Woman : “Today I'm pissed off. Do you know why?”

Man : “No. Tell me.”

Woman : "My office friend spilled coffee on my clothes. She said it didn't mean to, but
I believe her was on purpose. She was my competitor in giving ideas at
meetings. But the idea of her didn't win.”
Man : “Ok. And then?”
Woman : “I do not accept being treated like that. Tomorrow I will take revenge.”
Man : “That’s not good. You know that, right?”
Woman : “So you defended my friend?!”
Man : “That’s not what I mean. Revenge is no good.”
Woman : “Forget it. I wanted you to comfort me but it ended up like this.”
Man : “You don't understand.”
The conversation above is familiar to us. This can occur due to differences in the
language spoken by men and women. This is normal, but both sides must learn to understand
the language of the opposite sex so that quarrels caused by trivial matters can be reduced in
intensity.

Conclusion

The language of men and women is influenced by many factors, such as education at
home, association, culture, and so on. The language used by men is more dominant, while
women's language is used to confirm something. Intimacy is key in the language used by
girls whereas competition is key in the language spoken by boys. In a conversation, women
tend to tell things in a complicated way and men tend to say what they have to say.
moviahead of the point.

References

Jie Li. 2014. A Sociolinguistic Study of Language and Gender in Desperate Housewives.
Theory and Practice in Language Studies. 4(1): 52-57.

Lihong Gu. 2013. Language and Gender: Differences and Similarities. International
Conference on Advances in Social Science, Humanities, and Management. 248-251.

Sangra Juliano P. 2015. Komunikasi dan Gender: Perbandingan Gaya Komunikasi Dalam
Budaya Maskulin dan Feminim. Jurnal Ilmu Politik dan Komunikasi. Volume 5 No 1. 19-30.

Sri Yuliani. 2013. Perbedaan Gender dalam Penguasaan Bahasa Dipandang Dari Perspektif
Psikologi Pendidikan. Jurnal Ilmiah Ilmu Pendidikan. Volume 13 No 1. 47-51.