To my old, Anonymous lover,

I hate you

I said to you trying to get away from you.

“Love is a lie that humans indulge in, people who believe in it to are
all fools blinded by a lie they want to believe is true”

I used to believe love was meant for everyone but me, 

but still I wished to feel it as much as I also resented it.

I wanted to feel loved and yet I couldn’t picture myself being loved
Unlike you.

I was but a villain in this story and you, You were the hero.

You were loved by all, and as for me? I was hated, hated by everyone except
you.
 Why didn’t you hate me? Why did you care? Why did you still try to save me
even
after I hurt you?

You made me feel inferior compared to you.

“I hate you”
a stupid lie I told myself.

“I hate you with a burning passion” something I constantly said, and yet you
were 
the only thing clouding my mind.

Hearing your laughter made me wish I could lock it in a box and keep it forever,
Seeing your smile made me smile uncontrollably to the point I’d had to slap
myself just to stop, 
Your voice made my heart race a mile per minute,
Simply thinking of you gave me butterflies.
It terrified me…

I wondered if i had the same effect on you, but why?

I hated the feeling I felt because for the first time I felt vulnerable simply
because I knew I was falling for you. But there’s no way you could 
love someone like me right?

I don’t deserve your love, not after everything I’ve done.

Im a terrible person who’s done terrible things so why?
Why do you care about me?

I tried pushing you away and yet somehow found my way back to you.

I found myself staring at you, longing for you, wishing you were beside me,
wanting to hold your hand 
I imagined being held in your arms, your arms that never wanted to let me go.

How did I get in this position? Why am I here alone with you? Your eyes made
my mind go blank, only you have this effect on me, only you would make me
feel this vulnerable.

I wanted you, and I could tell you wanted me too.

The desire in your eyes, those same eyes wandering, examining every inch of
me, 
your soft voice whispering in my ear, your hands that wandered up and down
my body,
the sweet words that rolled off your tongue.

Your words, your touch, your breath on my neck, all of it sent shivers down my
spine.

I can no longer lie to myself as much as I wish I could

because I know just as well as you do that I’m not the only one who feels this
way.

I used to feel invulnerable, but now I know, you are my only vulnerability.
“I love you” 

I said never wanting to leave you side.

“Love is a lie humans indulge in, people who believe in it are 

all fools blinded by a lie they want to believe is true”

That might be true, and If it is I don’t mind being a fool if it means I can 
feel this euphoric feeling, a feeling you alone make me feel.

The sun woke me up from deep idly smiles

one that grabbed my hand and called me mine
you say the world keeps you awake
the sun lets you see
and I seek for what makes you alive which made me feel
accidentally convinced of our little heist 

Imagining our uncanny little universe when we’re in deep of our thoughts
feeling old that we lived in wake of our used history
still lifeless within a railway of rivalry 
of over read stories together we sought
always repetitive against your calm posture and my inaudible breathing while
the light flickers off 
replacing each others radiation 

I followed the sun because it gave you life

tried to keep myself calm like yours when you apprise we’re acute to face
amongst polars, live til sun kills us all
a thrill in my veins it must have been if this were all eminently real
the sun, the torch of your smile really is one of a sight

Realization and the journey was a truism 

I despair I couldn’t give you some heed out of your apathy
instead I steer with realism
I’m caved in with reality no walls left to draw with you, block you blindly
everyday while you dreamt of doing and I only left imagining 
The next August finally came
our car is lost
well yours now
I’m yours
that was my ride
we used to admire the stars top down
remember the breeze through your hair down was my heroin
I told you about my day and you listened steadily 
a habit we had every time our words steeled the air freely

Busied myself with all of the bills, problems, and my bed stressed
too scared to face a life I could fall
I fell whereas I’ve been here before and now, another to my repetition bestows
Sooner or later, I knew you’re gonna be my last call

On the other line, at your last step of us

I hang on the railway fronting you my fears I knew I wouldn't ever face
Once we all pass
all of it in passed sentences
we’re just a day old when you became a thought
both too weak to have fought
and now it is all in past tense 

The long silence after I intent to loose my breather

touch you with this letter
talk to you here with this phone call
helps me heal you’re aware I broke down many walls
since, indeed my eyes closed for a very long time when you turned the switch
on
when the final sunset hides, scarcely then it never went back on

It’ll be alright even though no one knew about the Moon. 

keep your reverie safe from harsh holds, unlike I just
run from cold perhaps, it’s a quite of wounded shouts
It’ll be alright, this will end soon (it did)
I promise to keep you alive without me holding your hand
I’m letting go of our realities 
keep your reveries 
I will cary you with me 
will senselessly feel felicity in freedom
radiation is toxic so you let it carry us to shore
less than triumphed we finally reached closure

hang for the moon and stars

remember the past from afar in darkness

“If you wish to continue your call, please insert twenty-five cents.”

these goodbyes always leaves me speechless.

They’re gone so all the other person could do was say goodbye and tell it was
worth the ride.

Characters personally would want to chase them, but be too afraid cause to
them: the other person was always infront of them, always ahead of them and
now whenever they imagine them all they can see is the image of they’re back
slowly fading away never turning around

Yeah, the other looks for the reality and it felt like they both wanted so much
more but this one didn’t bother reaching that goal. They were too opposite to
each other, they attract, but little did they know it was meant to have gone to an
end, because it was too toxic and they know it sooner or later it was needed to
get away

“We were a match made in heaven, too bad we were on earth” and on the
opposite ends…

“I wanted you but deep down I knew you weren’t enough for me. I prayed to
god that I’d find my way back to you, I was never a religious person…just a
desperate one”. a twist in a story could either be happy or sad. This one’s just
exceptional. Mischeif inlove.

“No matter where I go I’m always looking for you in someone else, I close my
eyes holding my face. Remembering your gentle touch and your soft voice,
while tears fall from my cheeks, as I wipe them away remembering how you
used to hold me, how you were the one wiping away my tears, how you were
the one comforting me when I cried, but now the only reason I’m crying is
because of you."

“I never liked you crying, but who was I to touch your beautiful soul? I have
hurt you anyways. You looked up at me like I was the greatest creation no one
would could pin and you did. Moon over my heels for you. Could stay where
we right left off, but a wise person told me this once, love was an indulge. I
remind you, our love was fertile. it is unfortunate but I love seeing you inferrior
and alive, so strong without you by my side. All I did was crushed you. Leaving
eachother was the greatest feeling I have ever felt. I saw your smile looking for
adventure and I want you to go for it. Too extraordinary for someone like me to
hold you back. You shine brighter than the sun, you could lit up the world.
Don’t. That light is only meant for one person. Yourself. The others will just
have to live in with your balanced hate for love.  Goodbye, I hated you aswell.”

“How is it that you were the first to say I love you? I was supposed to be the one
who hated you, how is it that you were the one that got away? I was the one
trying to push you away and you were the one who told me to stay. So why am I
the one saying I love you, why am I the one getting pushed away, weren’t you
the one who said I love you? Where did that love go? Why am I the one begging
for you to stay? Why am I the one screaming out your name? Why am I the one
saying “I love you” while in return you say “I hate you” those three words that I
used to tell you so frequently. Is this how you felt whenever I said these words
to you? Please come back, my light doesn’t shine as bright as it did when I was
with you”

“Hey, I screamed my love foy you. We were too busy to accept what we had
was real. I told the moon and sun I love you. Everytime when you look at the
sky, my love for you echos back. I needed peace. We both do. We can’t just stay
and have me stray the hard ships of an unexquisite tale. You are meant to have
greater things than I. Can’t you understand that what we had was inevitable in
fine line? I will offer you the world without my thin hair tying you up, brittle in
your grasps because it pains. I always told you to go and admire the stars but
I’ve realized I haven’t told you to go and reach for it. If you want me back,
don’t find me. Don’t ask for me. Look at those pictures on your sky. I have said
the world is yours. This is your sky and I gave my love to your atmosphere. It
may be a tight cage but you hold the lighter. Burn it if you want. You will shine
bright as you dare to be.”
"Although we ended, I still see your silhouette in the corner of my eye, the
sound of your voice echoing through my head, I see you everywhere I turn, I
might be considered desperate for you but I know I have never felt as happy as I
did when I was with you. A blissful euphoric feeling I could only feel with you.
I'd beg to a God I didn’t believe in, I prayed just to be held in your arms again
asking to undo what damage has already been done. I wanted to reach for the
stars, I wanted the world in my hands, I wanted to shine brighter then anyone
else and I know you wanted that for me to. But to me all of that if worthless
compared to you. I hated you for what you did, but I could never truly hate you
because even tho when I'm with you I take in sharp breaths it's still better then
the feeling I get when I live in a world without you."

"We weren't meant to love in this life but maybe in our next one. We can live a
life together, one were we could both reach for the stars," as they both die for
shooting stars...

They knew it well from the start they will hurt each other. Worse than the other.
A quiet sword that blemishes and glides on their thin skin. They knew it’s better
to leave them believe of heartbreak because sacrifices aren’t always easy. The
breaking point was that they loved then it’s too much, more what their hands
could hug tightly as it surveys. Their love will always lurks in the alleys. In their
corners. In their heart chambers. They knew that with a base of gold like theirs,
the chain will never stood a chance for to tightly keep arms intertwined. They
were their highlighter as they loved to make the world brighter unconditionally,
and the opposite soul was a drawer, planning out life for them so they could find
a world to survive in lengths of their lens could zoom in rapid fire. How would
they know they’d be heartbroken aswell, when all they could take was a simple
eight letters? They keep a paperclip around their neck where those beautiful
tears used to sit, as not a reminder, but a claw of un destined love, tells them
they were real and dumbfounded by each hold. Each page are cherished from
the day it was made because they sensed, long before, they were too good to be
true.

Right person, wrong time. A bittersweet tragic love story. The one with faceless
identities. 

yours, Anonymous lovers.

-Joy and mar???