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Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) - Transcript - Scraps From The Loft
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) - Transcript - Scraps From The Loft
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COMEDY
'Inside' carries satire, social commentary and honesty. It makes fun of social media, it allows time to process the more
introspective points he makes, all while being incredibly visually creative.
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)
Exploring mental health decline over 2020, the constant challenges our world faces, and the struggles of life itself, Bo Burnham creates a
wonderful masterpiece to explain each of these, both from general view and personal experience.
Watch on
***
♪ A year ago ♪
♪ A year ago ♪
♪ No! ♪
♪ To stay inside ♪
Camera test.
♪ Rearranging ♪
♪ Is comedy over? ♪
♪ No! ♪
♪ What do I do? ♪
That’s it.
Systematic oppression.
Income inequality.
And there’s only one thing that I can do about it, while… while being paid, and being the center of attention.
I’m bored.
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Never ♪
♪ Sandra Bullock! ♪
♪ Don’t panic ♪
♪ Don’t panic ♪
♪ Oh shit ♪
♪ Oh shit ♪
♪ No! ♪
[birds chirping]
Hi. Welcome to, uh, whatever this is. Um, I’ve been working for the last couple months, um, testing this camera, and testing lights, and writing,
and I’ve decided to, uh, try to make a new special. For real. Um, it’s not gonna be a normal special because there’s no audience, and there’s no
crew. It’s just me and my camera, and you and your screen. Uh, the way that… that our Lord intended. Um… And the whole special will be…
will be filmed in this, uh, room. And instead of being filmed in a single night, it will be filmed in uh, however long it takes to finish. I hope you,
uh, enjoy it. I… I hope this special can maybe do for you what it’s done for me these last couple months, which is, uh, to distract me from
wanting to put a bullet into my head with a gun. So… Yeah, thank you. And a warning. Um, I can already sort of tell that this special is going to
be a little all over the place, so don’t expect incredibly smooth transiti–
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Hair is wet ♪
♪ She’ll hold her iPhone 5 No further than six inches from her face ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Say hi to Dad ♪
♪ Hi to Dad ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Is pretty amazing ♪
♪ It must be complicated ♪
♪ Everything works together ♪
♪ That’s how ♪
♪ It works ♪
It’s Socko.
Hey!
I’ve been where I always am when you’re not wearing me on your hand. In a frightening, liminal space between states of being. Not quite dead,
not quite alive. It’s similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis.
Socko, we were just talking about the world and how it works.
I wouldn’t say anything that you probably haven’t already said yourself.
I don’t know about that, Socko. How about you give it a try?
All right.
Really?
♪ That’s how ♪
♪ It works ♪
No shit.
Read a book or something. I don’t know. Just don’t burden me with the responsibility of educating you. It’s incredibly exhausting.
Why do you rich fucking white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?
This isn’t about you. So either get with it, or get out of the fucking way.
But that’s what I– Have you not been fucking listening? We are entrenched in–
All right.
Wait! No, please! I don’t want to go back. I can’t go… I can’t go back. Please. Please. I’m sorry.
Yes.
Yes, what?
Yes, sir.
Look at me.
Yes, sir.
That’s better.
♪ That’s how ♪
♪ It works ♪
No!
Hello, my name is Bo Burnham. And I am a former comedian, turned social brand consultant. It’s a very exciting time to be a, uh, brand. It’s
also a bit of a scary time because customers expect a lot more from their brands than they did in the past. During this incredibly necessary and
overdue social reckoning that we’re having in our culture, it is no longer acceptable for brands to stay out of the conversation. Consumers want
to know, “Are you willing to use your brand awareness to effect positive social change?” Which will create more brand awareness. The question
I ask the brands I work with is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is… “Are you gonna be on the right side of history?”
The question isn’t, “What are you selling?” Or… or “What service are you providing?” The question is, “What do you stand for?” Who are
you, Bagel Bites?
All these big companies, they’re so scared of all this social change, and I come in and I put their fears to rest. You know, I tell them, “Just be
honest.Tell your customers that… that JPMorgan is against racism.” In theory.
The question is no longer, “Do you want to buy Wheat Thins?” For example. The question is now, “Will you support Wheat Thins in the fight
against Lyme disease?”
There’s no sugarcoating it. The world is… fucked up. And you’ve got a choice as a brand. You can… hide and bury your head in the sand and
hope it fixes itself, or you can roll up your sleeves and get to work, and sell Butterfingers.
♪ An open window ♪
♪ A novel ♪
♪ An avocado ♪
♪ A poem ♪
♪ Is this heaven ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ Tiny pumpkins ♪
♪ A needlepoint of a fox ♪
♪ Is this heaven ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ A goat-cheese salad ♪
♪ A backlit hammock ♪
♪ And a ring on her finger From the person that she loves ♪
♪ Is this heaven ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
♪ White woman ♪
Is it… is it necessary?
Is it necessary that every single person on this planet um, expresses every single opinion that they have on every single thing that occurs all at the
same time?
Um…
Or to ask in a slightly different way, um, can… can anyone shut the fuck up?
Can… can anyone, any… any… any one, any single one, can any one… shut the fuck up about anything–
Can any single person shut the fuck up about any single thing for an hour?
And I know you’re thinking, “You’re not shutting the fuck up right now,” and that’s true, but…
♪ Unpaid intern ♪
♪ And since you can’t afford a mortgage You just torrent a porn ♪
♪ Unpaid ♪
Hey, everybody.
Um, I thought I’d do a reaction video to the song that you just saw me perform.
Um, so I got my laptop all set up. So I’m ready to go, and let’s go.
Um, so the idea with this song was basically that there’s so many songs in the past about… about working-class jobs, but not a lot about the
labor exploitation of the modern world, so that was the idea here.
My beard is a little shorter in this video ’cause I filmed it a couple weeks ago.
♪ Unpaid ♪
And then you cut. I think it’s funny to cut right on–
…do a reaction video to the song that you just saw me perform.
What…
Um…
It’s, uh… it’s an instinct I have where I need everything that I write to have some deeper meaning or something.
But it’s a stupid song, and, uh, it doesn’t really mean anything, and, uh, it’s… it’s pretty unlikable that I… that I feel this need, this desperate
need, to be seen as intelligent.
And the video’s ending here, as you can see, and look, I’m very confused. See, I’m very, very confused.
‘Cause I’m staring at myself, I don’t know what I’m looking at, and I’m starting to catch up now, and realizing what’s going on.
And, uh, yeah, now I’m deciding to react to the reaction to the video.
So here, um, I’m reacting to my own reacting, and I’m criticizing my initial reaction for… for being pretentious, which is… which is honestly,
it’s a… it’s a defense mechanism.
I’m… I’m so worried that criticism will be levied against me that I levy it against myself before anyone else can.
And I think that, “Oh, if I’m self-aware about being a douchebag, it’ll somehow make me less of a douchebag.” But it… but it doesn’t.
I don’t like looking at myself like this, and I want… I want this to stop.
So, yeah, that was, uh, my reaction to the song, and I hope you enjoyed it.
♪ CEO, entrepreneur ♪
♪ Born in 1964 ♪
♪ Jeffrey ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ CEO, entrepreneur ♪
♪ Born in 1964 ♪
♪ Jeffrey ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
I don’t know about you guys, but, um, you know, I’ve been thinking recently that… that you know, maybe, um, allowing giant digital media
corporations to exploit the neurochemical drama of our children for profit…
Maybe… maybe the… the flattening of the entire subjective human experience into a… lifeless exchange of value that benefits nobody, except for,
um, you know, a handful of bug-eyed salamanders in Silicon Valley…
Maybe that as a… as a way of life forever… maybe that’s, um, not good.
I’m… horny.
Sexting
♪ Sexting ♪
♪ Aye, aye ♪
♪ AT&T ♪
♪ I am in bed ♪
♪ Oh no! ♪
♪ Damn ♪
♪ Crisis averted ♪
♪ Thank God ♪
♪ Sexting ♪
♪ Sexting ♪
♪ Aye, aye ♪
♪ AT&T ♪
♪ Sexting ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Sexting ♪
♪ We are sexting ♪
♪ Aye, aye ♪
♪ AT&T ♪
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
♪ Pussy ♪
♪ Titties ♪
♪ Balls ♪
♪ Sitting alone, one hand on my dick And one hand on my phone, yeah ♪
Hey, everybody.
Um, I just wanted to make a really quick video to say thank you.
As you guys know, I work really hard to try to bring you guys high-quality content that I think you’ll enjoy.
So the fact that you are enjoying it, means everything to me.
So thank you, and also keep watching, ’cause there’s a lot more content where that came from.
♪ Well, well ♪
♪ Well, well ♪
One more.
♪ I’m problematic ♪
♪ He’s a problem ♪
♪ I dressed up as Aladdin ♪
♪ He’s a problem ♪
♪ I’m problematic ♪
♪ He’s a problem ♪
♪ He’s a problem ♪
♪ Sorry ♪
♪ Sorry ♪
♪ Sorry ♪
Sh–
So, um…
And… the whole time I’ve had a… a goal in mind, which is I wanted to finish this thing before I turned 30.
Um, because the idea of… of turning 30, while still in this fucking room, working on this thing alone, um, that just seemed… I just… I just
wanted to avoid that.
So…
And you might be thinking, “Well, that’s fine. You know, look at you.”
So I’m just gonna sit here and enjoy uh, my twenties, and then get back to work.
Yay.
Ah.
♪ No! ♪
♪ No way! ♪
♪ I’m ♪
♪ Turning ♪
♪ Thirty ♪
♪ I’m turning 30 ♪
Oh fuck.
♪ How am I 30? ♪
Oh yeah? Well, your fucking phones are poisoning your minds. Okay?
So when you develop a dissociative mental disorder in your late twenties, don’t come crawling back to me.
♪ I’m ♪
♪ Turning ♪
♪ Thirty ♪
♪ I’m turning 30 ♪
Okay.
I just wanna say for the record, um, that I do not want to kill myself, okay?
I don’t wanna kill myself, and I’m not going to kill myself.
Um, and if you’re out there and you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts and you want to kill yourself,
But really, don’t kill yourself. You don’t want to, because…
That’s not true necessarily, but there could be people that love you in the future, and just don’t.
I’ve had people close to me kill themselves, and I’ll be honest with you, didn’t love it.
So just don’t.
If I could kill myself today and be dead until like 18 months from now, um, I would do it, but alas… when you kill yourself, you’re dead forever,
and we shouldn’t be dead forever yet.
♪ Yes or no? ♪
♪ Am I on in the background? ♪
♪ Or am I all alone? ♪
Um, I’m gonna be doing some live play today for the first time in a while.
Uh, you guys have been wanting that, so we’re gonna do–
Um, JB, thank you for the three months. My dude, much appreciated.
Um… Okay.
That looks pretty good, graphics-wise. I mean, I know it’s a cinematic, but…
So we’re gonna be trying to do live plays every day this week, so tune in for that.
Um, day 50, 250… All right, so this dude’s been in here for a while.
Or…
Okay.
So I can cry.
Controls are actually pretty smooth. So you’re in this like 2D set up, right?
Um…
He’s–
I don’t know why they feel the need to give the hint so quick.
Ah.
All right.
I don’t know.
Oh! Nice.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, it’s giving me sort of like Death Stranding vibes, you know, ’cause it’s, like, it’s fucking boring, but that’s, like, the point, I think.
Yeah.
♪ Wake up at 11:30 ♪
♪ Oh no! ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Huh ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Yeah? ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Huh? ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
So, um, my… uh, my current mental health is… is… rapidly approaching, um, an ATL, which is, um, that’s an “all-time low,” not… not Atlanta.
And…
You know, I feel okay when I’m asleep. Like when I’m asleep, I feel all right, but it’s basically from the moment I wake up,
♪ Describe it ♪
Yeah. Not…
♪ Would you like to see the news Or any famous women’s feet? ♪
♪ Would you like to fight For civil rights or tweet a racial slur? ♪
♪ ‘Cause a random guy just kindly sent you Photos of his cock ♪
♪ Don’t act surprised You know you like it, you whore ♪
♪ And here’s a healthy breakfast option You should kill your mom ♪
♪ Here’s why women never fuck you Here’s how you can build a bomb ♪
♪ Circa ’99 ♪
♪ Travel blogs ♪
♪ Waiting ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ Insatiable you ♪
♪ We designed it to do ♪
Oh.
♪ Look at you ♪
♪ You, you ♪
♪ Unstoppable, watchable ♪
I’ve been freaking out for a long time, thinking I’m never gonna finish this special and be working on it forever.
And recently, I’ve been feeling like, “Oh, man, maybe I am getting close to done with this.”
“Maybe I’m gonna finish it after all.” And that has made me completely freak out because if I finish this special, that means that I have to, um,
not work on it anymore.
And that means I have to just live my life, and so I’m not gonna do that, and I’m gonna not finish the special.
So, yeah, I’m gonna work on this forever, and I’m never gonna release it. I’m not talking to anybody now.
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Jeffrey Bezos ♪
♪ Congratulations! ♪
Give it up for yourselves for coming out, by the way, tonight. Give it up.
These are some pretty crazy times, but it’s nice during these crazy times that we can get together. We can laugh.
I’ve learned something over this last year, which is pretty funny.
Um, I’ve learned that real-world human-to-human tactile contact will kill you, and that all human interaction, whether it be social, political,
spiritual, sexual, or interpersonal should be contained in the much more safe, much more real interior digital space.
That the outside world, the non-digital world, is merely a theatrical space in which one stages and records content for the much more real,
much more vital digital space.
One should only engage with the outside world as one engages with a coal mine.
Um…
And is it just me, or do pirates need to take a little bit better care of their fuckin’ maps?
You know, when I find a pirate’s map, it’s… it’s always tea-stained, and the edges are burnt, and it’s like if you’re a pirate, all right, and you’re
gonna make this map and expect me to carry it around the globe as I search for your treasure, then laminate it.
I can’t really, uh, play the guitar very well, um, or sing, so…
♪ Deadpool, self-awareness ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ Carpool Karaoke ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ Full agoraphobic ♪
♪ Hand-delivered by a drone ♪
♪ Total disassociation ♪
♪ Googling “derealization” ♪
♪ In early fall ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ There it is ♪
♪ Again ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
♪ You wait ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
♪ Just wait ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
♪ You wait ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
♪ But it’ll be over soon ♪
♪ You wait ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
♪ You wait ♪
So, I–
Jesus.
It–
Fucking…
So I’ve been working on this special for, um, a year now, which is, um, a lot longer than I anticipated working on it.
When I started…
Thank you.
I couldn’t, really. I…
But just knowing you’re here, you know, feeling you here with me.
But…
♪ Look in my eye ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
♪ Hands down ♪
So, uh, five years ago, I quit performing live comedy, because I was beginning to have, uh, severe panic attacks while on stage, which is not a
great place to have them.
So, I… I quit.
And I didn’t perform for five years, and I spent that time… trying to improve myself mentally.
I did!
I got better.
I got so much better, in fact, that in January of 2020, I thought, “You know what, I should… start performing again.”
“I’ve been hiding from the world, and I need to… reenter.”
♪ Look in my eye ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
♪ Everybody knows ♪
♪ Hands down ♪
♪ Get– ♪
Hi.
Test.
Take one.
♪ So long ♪
♪ Goodbye ♪
♪ So long ♪
♪ Goodbye ♪
♪ I promise ♪
♪ So long ♪
♪ Bye ♪
♪ So long ♪
♪ Goodbye ♪
♪ I promise ♪
♪ Am I going crazy? ♪
♪ If it ever does ♪
♪ Oh shit ♪
♪ Well, well ♪
♪ Well, well ♪
♪ Any day now ♪
2 thoughts on “Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) – Transcript”
CMC
02/06/2021 AT 21:06
Brilliant.
Reply
LEE
30/11/2021 AT 02:20
Reply
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