We make it to the hospital, but my contractions are less than a minute

apart when we arrive. By the time the doctor scrubs in and they get me to a
bed, I’m dilated to a nine. It’s only five minutes later when I’m being told to
push. Ryle doesn’t even have a chance to call anyone, it all happens so fast.
I squeeze Ryle’s hand with every push. At one point, I think about how
important the hand I’m squeezing is to his career, but he says nothing. He
just allows me to squeeze it as hard as I possibly can, and that’s exactly
what I do.
“The head is almost out,” the doctor says. “Just a few more pushes.”
I can’t even describe the next few minutes. It’s a blur of pain and heavy
breathing and anxiety and pure, unequivocal elation. And pressure. Such an
enormous pressure, like I’m about to implode, and then, “It’s a girl!” Ryle
says. “Lily, we have a daughter!”
I open my eyes and the doctor is holding her up. I can only make out the
outline of her, because my eyes are full of too many tears. When they lay
her on my chest, it’s the absolute greatest moment of my life. I immediately
touch her red lips and cheeks and fingers. Ryle cuts the umbilical cord, and
when they take her from me to clean her up, I feel empty.
A few minutes later she’s back on my chest again, swaddled in a blanket.
I can do nothing but stare at her.
Ryle sits on the bed next to me and pulls the blanket down around her
chin so we can get a better look at her face. We count her fingers and her
toes. She tries to open her eyes and we think it’s the funniest thing in the
world. She yawns and we both smile and fall even more in love with her.
After the last nurse leaves the room and we’re finally alone, Ryle asks if
he can hold her. He raises the head of my bed to make it easier for both of
us to sit on the bed. After I hand her to him, I lay my head on his shoulder
and we just can’t stop staring at her.
“Lily,” he whispers. “Naked truth?”
I nod.
“She’s so much prettier than Marshall and Allysa’s baby.”
I laugh and elbow him.
“I’m kidding,” he whispers.
I know exactly what he means, though. Rylee is a gorgeous baby, but no
one will ever hold a candle to our own daughter.
“What should we name her?” he asks. We didn’t have the typical
relationship during this pregnancy, so the baby’s name hasn’t been