Connolly-1

Breadcrumbs and Table Legs

One-act play
by Wm. Anthony Connolly

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SCENE: A FARM KITCHEN. POTS

BOILING, DISHES ABOUT, A LARGE DINING ROOM TABLE AT CENTRE STAGE. THE SEASON IS FALL.

Brin Okay, Nathan, Nathan! Nathan look after your little brother. He doesn't know the farm that well. Look out for copperheads and armadillos, yeah. And stay out of the trees.

Alice (To audience) You'd think by now she'd ease up on them. (Pause) Hi luv, want some tea? Where's Joe?

Brin Which question should I answer first? Hey, how about this first: Hello. (Tone change) Joseph had to work a bit of overtime, don't worry he'll be here in time mom. Dad at church?

Alice You want some tea?

Brin Sure.

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Alice Dad's at church, I didn't feel up to it myself this morning. So how are my boys doing? How's Nathan's marks in school?

Brin Was that a mouse? Just there?

Alice You know we dont have mice.

Brin You always have had mice, and you always say we dont have any because you know that to me a mouse is nothing more than a scurrying, disease-carrying, insect with hair. (Sigh) And you have termites. One day, youll see. Termites and mice will be taking you to the cleaners. Nathans marks in school are fine. You know I grill them every night at home. No television, no mindless reality shows. Not until your homework is done. Thats the reality in our house.

Alice You're too strict, you know.

Brin (Irritated) Mother.

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Alice I know, I know. Mind my own bees wax. (Mumbled somewhat) God knows I've only been a parent for over 35 years.

Brin What was that last part mumbled under your tea breath?

Alice Nothing. Come on give us a kiss now would ya. Brin So, how's Mrs. Cleaver doing these days?

Alice Oh, not too bad, I'm not complaining.

Brin No, you never do.

Alice Brin, let's not argue about that of all things.

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Brin Why not?

Alice It's only since you starting working again and, and that group, what's it called womb or something.

Brin Wow, mother. It's called Wow: Women of Work.

Alice Well, anyway, you never seemed to care what I did for a living until you joined womb, I mean Wow. Brin A living you call this, this isn't living mother. It hasn't been for decades. It's a sentence. Mother you could go to school, you could... Its a short drive to the city.

Alice You could, you could keep that trap shut young lady, I'm still your mother. I'm not some young impressionable schoolgirl you're talking to in a high school classroom. Last time I checked I didnt have a tattoo on my butt and a bit of metal pierced through my nostril.

Brin

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its a beautiful tattoo. Its Celtic. And you know it's more than just a group. For years I stayed at home while Joseph worked, I raised the children, I went to law school, and I got the job when Nathan and little Joe went off to school. I'm out now and I know the difference.

Alice Pre-school. Little Joe's in pre-school not school. And you, the lawyer.

Brin Whatever, you know what I mean.

Alice Didn't Joe get a promotion lately?

Brin You're changing the subject, Alice. But yes, he's district manager now. He's out here once and awhile you know.

Alice You see everythings right as rain. Youre a lawyer, Joes a district manager and youre children are growing up right before my eyes. The doting grandmother.

Brin (Picking up mail from the kitchen table, reading) Well, at least I'm my own person; I'm not Mrs. Frank Doyle.

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Alice That's right, you're not because I married your father. And you think getting your Oprah magazine under your own name makes you your own person does it?

Brin MS, I get MS, not Oprah. You married a patriarchal system than dates back to the slash and burn era.

Alice Should I be taking notes? Will there be a test afterwards? This(motions around her) dates back to the lean years, the hardship in Ireland, not any slash and hash.

Brin Slash and burn mother, but you know what I'm talking about.

Alice Garbage and turkey guts.

Brin Open your eyes, I'm talking about us. Having your own bank account, a driver's license, a career, a hobby, Christ, anything that you can point to and say, That's me.

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Alice Well, I'd point to you and say that's me, but for now I'm not sure where or from whom you came. In your absence, then, and forever more, your father and his work here, well, missy, let me refresh your memory, but ifing I, ifing mothers hadn't stayed at home and raised the children, well, you wouldn't be who you are.

Brin Oh, the poor immigrant song, such a sad and tragic ballad. Mother than sort of thing happens only in songs by the Irish Tenors during PBS Pledge Week. It's maudlin history, it happened before I was born, don't you think it's time to do something for yourself.

Alice Some people are placed on this earth to help others. God bless them. Others are here to be looked after and to have the time to complain to others that others aren't getting what they deserve. You follow?

Brin What a load of...

Alice Watch that mouth. You're in my...Brin, why do we always have to have this conversation. Can't we just get together and talk about our children and our husbands like other women.

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What's gotten into you? Oh, I cherish the day that we just sit on the porch with a cup of iced tea and yak away the clouds and welcome home the moon.

Brin But I don't drink iced tea. Makes me pee too much.

Alice You're missing the point.

Brin Mother, it's just that my eyes were opened. For years I had to stay at home because I was told I had to. Now, our lives being opened up because we're aware of the alternatives, the choices, the work that can be accomplished.

Alice I'd say your eyes have been pried open with Susan B. Anthony dollars.

Brin Huh? I just want you to know of the options, Mother. You know, read Germaine Greer.

Alice She wishes she had that baby.

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Brin Before that, read the stuff before that.

Alice Oh, okay. Why?

Brin It's before they got to her. There were choices. You can stop things now. Life

Alice TheyWho?

Brin Old Boys Network. Skull and Crossbones, nudge, nudge crowd. Beltway Masons. Rotarians from the oil companies. Dicky Boy Cheney, Kenneth Lay, WolfowitzPaul Anka. Alice Paul Anka?

Brin (Singing)Havin my baby, what a wonderful way of showing how much ya love me we want choices, not the old boys chorus. But they turned that tune around on us. Now, sure we can make a choice or two, but the consequences, I mean in the end we end up eating each other

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Alice What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Brin It means out here, at this point, women don't have a choice, really. If we choose to stay home, then the world goes on ahead of us, without us. So, were told to either be Mrs. Cleaver or a Bitch in Pradas. A whore on the streets, an angel between the sheets. You follow?

Alice What a bunch of turkey guts this is. Just listen wee missy, listen for a change. You lawyers have cloth ears, really. (Going to the kitchen window) Do you want to check on the boys? Brin No, they'll be all right.

Alice When your father and I were married. Wait. (Leaves and gets a photo album) When your father and I were married he was very sick. The doctor thought he was going to die, he had this high fever, he was dopey half the time and belligerent the other half. I thought he was just sick from missing the sea. He quit the Irish Merchant Navy to marry me; you didn't know that did you? Well, anyway, he had to quit.

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Brin The navy.

Alice The navy. Willy made him quit. No daughter o' mine is marrying no sailor. Port to port you waterbabies go looking for the nipple. No either you quit the sea Frankie or I'll see you're buried at sea, my father said.

Brin I remember Papa too, from the picture; he was a big man.

Alice (Raises her hand above her head). Towering. So, I thought that once we got married he'd forget about the sea, but sure enough a month into being man and wife, he starting in the the coughing and suddenly he's bed-ridden. Doctor Ambrose, you remember me talking about him, the doctor on the bike, anyway, he says Frank needs a lot of rest and quiet. He's stressed out and heartbroken.

Brin Mother, no one...

Alice (Irritated) Please. So, he's in bed and we're making due on money we've gotten from my dowry and then I find this envelope. Its stuffed with money and Frank says it's from his mates. Well, I'm livid. No sailor's are going to keep Mrs. Doyle in frocks and fish. I'm

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going to work, we have to, we need the money, and I'm not using this, I told Frank with the envelope in my hand. He protested, but I won out. I gave the money to Sister Brownwyn just at the school down the lane, on the condition that twice a day a schoolgirl came and fixed Frank a spot of tea in the morning and a wee shot of whisky and a pint of Guinness in the afternoon. I was going to work.

Brin Work? Mother, you never...

Alice Shush! Are you following me?

Brin Wow. Of course.

Alice Well, there are things in life dear that are best, well So, I go see the widow Siobhan Somers. She'd been a widow for about half a year and had been running the furniture repair store all herself, so I thought that maybe she could use a hand. Mine. I went to talk to her and she said no, right away.

Brin No?

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Alice Want a muffin before lunch? Imagine that, no, right away. I left the store disheartened, dejected and confused. I went for a spot of tea at a shop across the way. Well, no sooner into my brew and in walks Siobhan Somers. She explains that after her husband died of polio, she's determined to keep the place afloat. Tea too? (Gets up, makes tea)

Brin Uh, sure, thanks. I'll butter the muffins, if you like.

Alice Right.

Brin (Looking out the window) Summer's over, and winter's started alreadyfeel that drop in humidity? When we weren't looking.

Alice She's pregnant.

Brin What! I mean, who? Who's pregnant?

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Alice Siobhan Somers. She's pregnant with a child and the father down the Crow's Road dead...

Brin Oh mom.

Alice I'm aghast to say the least. She lifts up her baggy sweater and shows me her tummy. Again, I'm aghast. A pregnant lady refurbishing chairs and stuffing sofas and with child. What a thought. But, Siobhan said, its been real tough, the community has been shunning her. Women don't work, remember this is Ireland in the late 40s. So, for two, maybe three months she's starving herself. Here's your tea love. Sister Brownwyn brought her food. God bless her soul. She's about to sell the store and give up, she knows a woman wouldn't get much for the store, but she's willing to live as frugally as she can with a baby coming her only child. Then... Late one night she hears a knock at her store's backdoor. In the dark, she scrambles out of bed and carried a hammer with her to the door. Peering through a window she sees not a person, no one. But there in the shadows is a chair. When she opens the door (Alice motions as if opening a door) there an old ratty chair on the landing with a note attached to it. The note asks her to fix the chair and that in two nights' time payment will be at the same backdoor. She fixes the chair without any instructions. She cleans up the wood, and restuffs the seat and the back. She uses fresh staples and applies a coat of varnish to shine the chair up. She places the chair back outside...

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Brin (Eagerly) And someone steals it, right?

Alice Ah, no. The next night an envelope is pinned to her backdoor and inside is the money. Too much money in fact.

Brin Sounds like a fairy tale the kind I put Little Joe to sleep with.

Alice There was something else there too that night: Two more chairs. And that's how she planned on keeping the shop. Furniture repairs at night.

Brin Probably from women in the community, Sister Brownwyn.

Alice No, I've saved the best part from you because I knew that's what you'd think.

Brin Oh, you're so smart mother.

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Alice Don't talk with your mouth full. No, it was a man, just one man. Peter Quill from over the Quarry Lane in northwest Dublin. Behind Rose Mount. He's a furniture repairman himself. Knew David Somers when they were apprentices together in Wicklow. But he's a very busy furniture repairman it seems. Since of the death of David, everyone's been taking their work to the man, Peter. He was a good man. At night he'd take the work he couldn't get to and placed it at her back door. He still made money. He charged his customers more than what he paid Siobhan.

Brin What does that have to do with you?

Alice Siobhan said that if a man can help a woman in her time of need, albeit on the sly, then surely a woman can help another woman. She offered me a job as an apprentice. She said she didn't want to just have me sweep the floors, she wanted me to learn a trade.

Brin (Shocked) So you're an upholsterer what happened to father?

Alice Well, soon enough word got around that I was working and making the money in the family and he at home sipping whisky and supping Guinness in bed. He was shamed back into health, so to speak. He got a job driving trolley. An old school chum, from Scotland, he'd been in the navy with, boy they're as thick as thieves, got him the job. So, late one

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night we stayed up and talked. He really wished I could continue to work, oh Brin, we were so poor in those days.

Brin Mom?

Alice Gee, I remember that flat. The lousy plumbing, the wiring. My ma, Peg, always coming around barking orders at Frank. The wiring was crappy too. Turn on a light too quickly and the wire went phoof! But the furniture was always in good shape. (Pausing) But his rugby club told him that members couldn't be kept men. They bugged him senseless.

Brin How'd father react?

Alice Well, missy, his connections at the club would really help him in the transit authority. So he politely asked me to consider leaving the furniture repair shop.

Brin And?

Alice How could I not Brin? Siobhan was paying me, sure, but it was pittance in what your father could making driving his James Street route. Siobhan gave birth to a son and was

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recuperating at Sister Brownwyn's insistence. The store would be closed for a month or two at that time. So, I stayed at home making suppers, making arm covers for our chairs and I really worked at the table legs of our dining room table.

Brin (Unsure) Table legs? Why worry about table legs? (Brin wipes her mouth with a napkin and balled it in her fist). Why? Table legs?

Alice We had guests quite often, you know from your father's work and well, the table was the only place where we all could sit around and talk and drink. The table really had to be the best. Most of the time I draped a tablecloth over it to cover the chewed-up legs, but as time wore on I was able to get the legs up to a presentable look and left the tablecloth in the closet.

Brin What happened when you immigrated to New York? Didn't you know things would be different here?

Alice (Alice thinks about this for a moment) It was a combination of things really. We came over after your father had saved for five years. We scrimped. We were told there was lots of work here. We didn't know any better when we got here, we assumed it was just like Ireland. (Laughing) Ireland with cowboy hats and Big Hair. (Tone change) I made a pact

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with God, Brin. (Reaching out). Brin, I made a pact with God that this had to be my work.

Brin (Spreading her arms out) This?

Alice Yes, Brin, you and your father...a pact. You see I took the wind out of his sails, took the sailor away from the sea. Have you ever heard the saying: Weather the storms you cannot avoid, and avoid the storms you cannot weather. I was doing some weathering, I guess. His love for me was so great that he would delegate the ships to the seas only in his head, rather than place foot on one again. His dreams died, but he persevered with me and we started a family. There's nothing wrong with that; there's nothing dishonorable about being a mother, or a housewife. All women are working women, not just lawyers with PDAs in Reeboks.

Brin Nice shot mother. Alice This is dignity. Bringing up a family and helping one another through life. I want to be happy, I'm happy, really I am. You know what? Behind closed doors men can be fair. Mine is.

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Brin Joe is too, I guess. (They hold each other in their sights for a brief moment).

Alice And that furniture repairman a long, long time ago. But why all this blather, all this worry for such a pretty and educated lass. (Touches Brin on the knee) Why worry about me, about this cross women have to bear?

Brin Well, I just want us to have what we want.

Alice (Alice winces). Oh dear, you know what?

Brin What? Alice A pleasant dinner, with everyone around the table. Nathan, Joe, Jr., Joe, Frank, Brin and me. That's all I want. That's all; it's always fulfilling to see your work complete.

Brin (Deadpans). Well, not quite complete. Alice What do you mean Brin, not quite complete?

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Brin I'm pregnant.

A silence falls between them.

Alice I'll get the good china out and we'll put a linen tablecloth on...

Brin (Sighing) Yes, and can we talk, all of us, about everything at the table. All out on the table.

Alice Is there any other place? Sure missy, such good news, and you know what? Brin What mother, what?

Alice We'll even let the table legs show. Sometimes you have to show people what they've got to know what they really need. Like study table legs. You follow?

Lights down.

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SCENE TWO: SAME LOCATION. THE KITCHEN FLOOR IS PARTIALLY COVERED IN LANES OF CARDBOARD. THE ENTRANCEWAY TO THE LIVING ROOM IS BARRED. IT IS SUMMER

Alice You all right in this heat? Sheesh a wee bit of the Mexico blowing through today. Nice for drinking ice tea on the porch, eh Brin?

Brin (Cranky and tired) Oh yeah mother it's a blast.

Alice Cranky. Brin Crazy witch.

Alice Fatso. (going to the cupboards).

Brin

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Ever read James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake, mom?

Alice (Taking glasses out of the cupboard). Is that the book nobody can figure out, takes years and years of study? Brin That's the one, Alex Trebek. I'm reading it while I'm pregnant, figure it'll give it some brains by osmosis. (Glancing down at her protruding belly)

Alice So, how are you feeling? Brin (Irritated). Mom, listen, I'm pregnant, I'm not a child. Geeze, would ya let up with the motherly smothering already? Christ, it's so hot in here, geeze; and the smell of that floor wax is going to make me puke. And I really think that old piled up carpet in the living room is riddled with little tweensy-weensy termite turds. (Hand on her sweaty forehead and closing her eyes). I peed in a field just twenty, oh my Lord, twenty years ago I was a longhaired hippie carrying a bible and a knapsack through Four Corners. Now, I'm this bloated Zeppelin having its third child. OHOHOH! Yes, let's have some ice tea mom and a cold cloth if you don't mind. Have I told you about Finnegan's Wake? Alice

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Are you in labor missy?

Brin Just a few acrobatic twists and turns.

Alice I hope it's working with a net. (Pours iced tea into the glasses and brings them back to the table). Brin Well, whatever remember I was telling you about Caroline. Alice The articling nightmare you said. Brin The articling nightmare. Yes. Yeah, well, she's not too bad; in fact, she's quite farging good...

Alice Brin!

Brin In fact...

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Alice Before we sally forth once more into the frothy prose of Finnegan's Wake, slow down. Take deep breath and relax. Go have a bowel movement. Something. Just relax. Chill, as they say.

Brin Slow down? Alice We're not going anywhere, you're not due for...(Goes to a calendar hanging by the refrigerator carefully walking on the thin pieces of cardboard)...Oh, in a week.

Brin (Absentmindedly echoing her mom.) A week. She's my replacement.

Alice Who?

Brin Finn--uh, Caroline, that articling nightmare lawyer from Harvard or something?

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Alice Why don't we just sit at the table awhile and get some relief from the heat. The sun's a bleeding bowling ball today and we're the puny pins. You follow?

Brin Remember, mom, remember we talked, you know last fall, about having this baby.

Alice It was a stressful for you I know that now... Brin Well, it wasn't that I didn't want the baby...we make...choices...it's just that it's sort of like that game we used to play on rainy days Snakes and Ladders.

Alice Aye, I remember. Snakes and Ladders. Brin Well, getting pregnant again after all that ladder climbing was like stepping on a snake. Slip, OOPS, down you go.

Alice It's not like that at all. It's not a disadvantage missy. Brin No, no, I realize that OH MOM!

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Alice Brin?

Brin Oooo. Just a wee drop kick from the kid. Either that or the Krispy Kreme isn't biodegradable. Alice Krispy? Brin Hey, I'm drinking iced tea, aren' OHOHOH,GEEZ,OH, FINNEGAN'S WAKE IS NOTHING BUT UTTER GIBBERISH, I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND IT WHEN I'M STONED OUT OF MY GOURD. OH THAT LOUSY BITCH IS GOING TO TAKE MY JOB!

Alice (Nervously) Brin, you're going into labor, aren't you. Brin Hysterics (pause) OH. Alice I'll call Joe at work, hey on his cell. Just, just ah, rest. (Goes to the phone).

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Brin REST! REST!

Alice (Dialing) Don't move. Brin I ca-ca-ca-...

Alice Can't. Brin (Nods)

Alice What's your doctor's name, Brin?

Brin Joyce, no I mean, James. Dr. James Olivera at Memorial. And Joe's WHOA! Joe's my husband, father of this child.

Alice Breathe; breathe missy, like you showed me on the porch outside. Breathe in and out godammit! (Talks on the phone)

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Brin I never did like you really, I just OHOHOHOH.

Alice Righty-o. Joe's on his way, he'll be here real soon. In the area he is, in the area.

Brin MOTHER! (Begins to walk on polished floor. Goes to living room entranceway, stops)

Alice Ah. Up here missy, up here. (Motions to the kitchen table).

Brin I'm not a dog!

Alice Up here, missy! (Taps the table, leaves kitchen)

Brin (On table) I CAN'T HOLD IT ANY LONGER. OHOHOHOH IT'S COMING, THE LITTLE BUGGER'S COMING...

Alice (Returns with a quilt)

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Brin (Incredulous) Mother, I'm boiling...

Alice Here. The table's nice and sturdy, better than that nouveau couch you bought us last year. Brin Remind me OUCH to WOW get you for OHOHOoooo...this.

Alice Now, just lay back and relax. Joe will be here any minute from town; the doctor will be all ready when you arrive. Shit, I wish the car were here. But then I don't have a driver's license, I should...oh, sorry dear, I was drifting.

Brin (Winces in silence and turns toward Alice). Mother, it's just that I'm scared.

Alice I know missy, we all are girl. We're all scared just before we give scared of what?

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Brin OHOHOH, SWEET MERCY ABOVE.... Im scared I'm going to disappear, I'll just vanish, behind my children...

Alice Have I vanished?

Brin (Dreamily) Snakes and ladders. Alice What? (Hears a car) Joe. So do you know? Is this a snake or a ladder?

Brin (Calmly) It's definitely a roll of the dice, isn't it? (Pause) OHOHOH

Alice But it's no a game, missy.

Brin Maybe that's wh WOW what I need to learn over again that getting wha EWE you want isn't always a game and whether OH here comes my Joe. The thing is OUCHGEEZE!!!!

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Alice (Wipes Brin's forehead with her apron). What's the thing? Quick, before the man comes in. What?

Brin It's not whether (labored breathing) you win or lose, it's whether EWEGEEZE you're around or not (silent wince) to have the game, I mean it's all (another wince endured) about big people helping little people to become big people, but I always...I always thought I'd make a difference.

Alice I know.

Brin You follow? It's like Finnegan's Wake.

Alice Yes, it is. It takes years and years of study. I hear it's worth it.

Brin And WHOA what happens if, if, I get lost...(Joe hurries in)

Alice

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We'll find ya missy, don't worry. Bring up your children like little pieces of yourself. Instill in them all your hope, justice and equality. Use them as your own personal breadcrumbs out of the forest, and for the love of Saints Andrew and Patrick, continue to be yourself. Just because you're a mother doesn't mean you're no longer a woman Brin. Don't let yourself get lost.

Brin Breadcrumbs, mother, AHHH, Joe put the pedal to the medal now.

Alice You can always follow the breadcrumbs home...They always bring you back. Just like if you kiss the four walls of your home on departure youre assured a safe return. (To the kitchen, as she closes the door) You follow?

A mouse scurries across. Lights down.