STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION?

Things that usually do not help

These include criticism, coaxing, making the person promise to stop, threats, hiding or
destroying the alcohol or other drug, urging the use of will power, preaching, or instilling
guilt. Most families try all of these most discover that they rarely work.
What does work successfully?
1. Get the Addict to a Source of Help.
This is difficult because many addicts, especially alcoholics, deny that there is a
problem. Their thinking is dulled and the reality of their condition sometimes is
hidden by the actions of well-meaning family members who “cover” for the addict
when he or she does something irresponsible.

How then, can the addict “get the message” that help is needed?

In a firm, factual and nonjudgmental way, point out the nature of one’s actions.
Present specific examples (e.g., “Last night at 11 P.M. you knocked over and broke
the lamp”) rather than vague generalities (e.g., “You’re drinking too much!”). One
writer has suggested that the message may be best conveyed nonverbally. If the
addict collapses on the living room floor, for example, leave him or her there rather
than helping the person into bed—and thus hiding the fact that the collapse
occurred

Remember that most addicts have high anxiety and low self-esteem. One must be
careful, therefore, not to criticize or condemn in a way that arouses anxiety and
threatens. Convey acceptance of the person but not of the behavior. Listen to the
addict but do not give reassurance. Recognize that addicts are dependent, often
childish, manipulative and specialists in evoking sympathy. The counselor must resist
the tendency to give advice, preach, or act like a parent. Instead, show a non-
condescending, firm, sensitive attitude which implies that responsibility for recovery
must remain with the addict. In all of this, remember that the best counselors are
gentle, but not soft-hearted, in their approach.

2. Get the Addict Off the Drug.

This is a medical problem which must involve the intervention of a physician,
although medical personnel sometimes work in conjunction with psychologists who
use an advanced “relearning” technique known as behavior therapy. While
“detoxification” usually can be accomplished safely and quite quickly, this is only the
beginning of treatment. A larger problem is keeping the addict free of drug use.
 This involves counseling which has at least four goals:
i. Repairing medical damage that has come with the addiction
ii. Helping the counselee learn how to cope with stress
iii. Helping him or her find an effective, nonchemical substitute for the drug
iv. Building or restoring self-esteem and dealing with guilt.
The first of these goals involves medical treatment. The others can be goals for non-
medical counselors, preferably working with the family, support groups (like
Alcoholics Anonymous), and other treatment specialists.
3. Provide Support.
Drug abusers are lonely, immature people who are being asked to give up a
substance which they have come to value and to change a life-style which has
become well entrenched. This will not be accomplished in one or two hours of
individual counseling each week. Many addicts are best helped within the confines of
hospitals or rehabilitation centers where help is available on an “around-the-clock”
basis. Some can be assisted through group counseling where recovering addicts can
help each other to face the stresses of life, interact with people, and live life without
a chemical dependency.

Without doubt the most effective support comes from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
and related groups (Al-Anon for spouses of alcoholics and Alateen for their
children). These organizations meet in cities and towns all over the world, are free of
charge, listed in the phone book, and established as perhaps the most effective
approach for helping alcoholics and their families. They are based on principles
which are consistent with spirituality: acceptance of reality; faith in God; commitment
of one’s life to divine care; honesty with God, self and others; desire and readiness to
change one’s way of life; prayer; making amends; and sharing with others.

Surely “any treatment that promotes supportive group membership in a drug-free

environment is a far more effective means of treating drug addiction than efforts to
provide psychological insights or better drugs.” Since many non-addicts have
trouble understanding the addict’s struggles, counselees might be encouraged to be
involved in AA.

4. Help with Stress Management

In the past, addicts dealt with stress by escaping through the use of drugs.
Counseling must show that there are better ways to meet the pressures of life. To
show this, the counselee must learn that he or she can trust the counselor who, in
turn, must be patient and dependable.
 Stress in general can be discussed, but a better approach is to take each problem as
it arises and help the counselee determine how it can be handled effectively. This
will include considerations of interpersonal relations and how to get along with
others—apart from
drug or alcohol use.

5. Encourage Self-understanding and a Change of Life Style.

When a relationship of trust has been established, there can be value in considering
some of the reasons for drug abuse. These discussions can lead to insight, but
insight in itself is of little value unless it is followed by practical, specific plans for
changed behavior. Sometimes these plans involve vocational counseling the
consideration and establishment of life goals, an evaluation of self-esteem and a
discussion of marriage relationships.

Then there is the issue of life style. Now that he or she is not taking the drug, how
will life be different? One’s style of life depends on making decisions concerning
what will or will not be done. These decisions involve the counselee, but they also
concern the family.

6. Family Counseling
Drug abuse is a family problem and the whole family must receive support,
understanding and help. At times they must be encouraged to not withdraw, but to
live life as best as they can despite the circumstances. The family members must be
helped to see how they might
be contributing to the addiction problem or how their protection of the addict might
prolong the condition. They can be given facts to help them understand the
addiction, and before the addict comes for help, family members can be encouraged
to confront the addict with specific evidences of his or her drug-induced behavior.

Sometimes family members, especially spouses, want to rescue the addict and take
responsibility for running the family. When sobriety occurs, the family must readjust
to the change and learn to accept the addict as a responsible member of the home.
This may be difficult either because of a fear, based on past experience, that the
present “dry spell” is temporary, or because the family has grown accustomed to
functioning smoothly around the addict. Family change is risky for the family,
important for the counselee, and accomplished best when there is encouragement
from the counselor or outside support group.

7. Be Prepared for Relapses.

These are common among addicts, including alcoholics. AA has long maintained
that one drink can plunge an alcoholic quickly back into the addiction. The same is
true with non-alcoholic drugs. If the relapse is followed by blame and condemnation,
 the addict is inclined to give up and adopt an attitude which says, “I’ll never win, so
why should I bother to try?” It is not easy to work with chemically dependent people.
The counselor can expect failures and after a relapse must help the counselee “pick
up” and keep working on the problem.

Preventing Addiction
The prevention of drug abuse begins in the home. When children are respected, loved,
disciplined and raised by sensitive, concerned, stable parents, there is greater opportunity
for healthy maturing and less likelihood of chemical dependence. When children’s
emotional needs are met in the home, when they are helped to cope with stress, and
when they are taught a clear set of values, there is a greater sense of security and self-
esteem, accompanied by a greater ability to handle the problems of life without drugs.
For many people however, home does not fit this description. Even when it does there can
be outside influences which may lead one into drug abuse. To prevent this several
additional considerations are important.
1. Instill a Healthy spiritual life.
A survey of 5,648 university students revealed that those who have a strong religious
faith “are far less likely to be taking drugs than classmates who are shifting church
affiliations in their search for the divine. And... drug use was highest among those for
whom there was no spiritual search at all.” From this it does not follow that faith in
God always prevents drug abuse, but spiritual life promotes less need to depend on
chemical substances.

2. Provide Education on Drug Abuse.

It is true that those who never drink or take a drug will never become addicts. But
emotional pleas for abstinence rarely convince or influence people who are curious
about drug effects or influenced by peers. Neither is it helpful to ignore the subject
of drug abuse on the assumption that discussion will arouse curiosity. When the
subject is considered in a frank, open discussion, this weakens the temptation to
dabble with the secret and the forbidden. Education should:

a. Begin early, since most drug abusers start their long decline in the teenage
years
b. Present accurate facts concerning the nature and effects of drugs, including
alcohol
c. Avoid emotional appeals which involve “scare tactics” but little factual content
d. Clearly discuss the biblical teachings about wine and drunkenness
e. Make young people aware of why people drink or take drugs, pointing out
that “the alcoholic on the road to recovery at 45 years of age has to face,
 without alcohol, the same feelings and problems he sought to escape through
drinking in his teen years”
f. Discuss how one can say “no” in an environment where one’s peers may all be
drinking or taking drugs
g. Encourage people to make a decision—to drink or not to drink; to take other
drugs or to abstain—instead of drifting into the habit
h. Encourage abstinence as the best and most effective means of prevention
i. Describe the warning signs which indicate developing addiction
j. Alert people to the availability, place and nature of help for those with
developing drug-related problems.

One writer has summarized the nature of a truly effective prevention program:
There is... the task of helping the abstinent youngster to understand his behavior in
an environment in which most others are drinking. There is the task of making the
youngster who drinks aware that alcohol is not just another social beverage, but an
intoxicant which in specific amounts for a given individual has specific effects.
There’s also the task of helping
youngsters to understand the alcoholic as a person with a behavior disorder who
can be and ought to be helped… What is needed is not less alcohol education, but
alcohol education which is realistically supplemented by a broad concern for
identifying and helping the youngster with problems of social and personal
development, whether or not his problems are alcohol.

This last sentence leads to the next aspect of prevention

3. Teach People How to Cope with Life.

If we can assume that drug abuse often reflects a failure in coping, then the
approach to prevention is teaching people to openly face, discuss, and deal with the
stress-related
problems of life. “The key to prevention,” concludes one report, “is to reduce
exposure to stress where you can and to teach healthy means of coping with stress
that can’t be eliminated.”
4. Provide Realistic Adult Examples.
In his book on alcoholism, Clinebell reports that parental example is the most
influential factor in determining whether or not children will develop chemical
dependency. When
parents regularly rely on drugs and alcohol; children learn to do the same. When
parents rigidly prohibit and condemn the use of chemical substances, children often
react by partaking of this “forbidden fruit.” More effective is an open attitude about
drugs and alcohol, a recognition of their dangers, an encouragement of moderation
if not abstinence,
and an example of parents who enjoy life without having to rely on drugs to meet
problems or to enjoy fellowship with others.

(see chapter 17),

(see chapter 24),
(see chapter 13).