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“Growing GRIT from the OUTSIDE IN”

 Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term and meaningful goals. It is the ability to persist in
something you feel passionate about and persevere when you face obstacles. 
 Grit help to achieve your potential.
 Our accomplishment in the marathon of life depends tremendously on our grit – our passion and
perseverance for long-term goals.

HOW TO GROW YOUR GRIT?

1. On your own, you can grow your grit “from the inside out”. You can cultivate your interests. You can
develop a habit of daily challenge-exceeding-skill practice. You can connect your work to a purpose beyond
yourself. And you can learn to hope when all seem lost.

2. You can also grow your grit “FROM THE OUTSIDE IN”. Parents, coaches, teachers, bosses,
mentors, friends-developing your personal grit depends critically on other people.

“Growing GRIT from the OUTSIDE IN”

 creating an environment that values discipline, provides support, and encourages
learning. 
 You can also use external help to develop grit in yourself or to nurture grit in others.
 From outside in by immersing yourself in the kind of culture that promotes and foster grit.
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3 KEY ELEMENTS FOR GROWING GRITS FROM THE OUTSIDE IN
1. Parenting for Grit
2. The Playing Fields of Grit
3. A Culture of Grit

1. PARENTING FOR GRIT

-refers to parenting broadly as the act of nurturing the next generation.
- Duckworth notes that the word “parent” has Latin roots meaning “to bring forth,” so that when she
discusses “parenting for grit,” she is speaking not only of actual parents raising children with grit, but also of
coaches, teachers, business leaders, military leaders, and anyone else who seeks to foster the four
elements of grit in others—interest, practice, purpose, and hope.

The main points from this element are that in order to develop grit in a child, the parent must

1) find the proper balance between challenging and supporting the child

Parenting Styles

Duckworth argues that there are two spectrums, or axes, on which parenting styles can fall:

a. Undemanding versus demanding: This axis is about discipline. This is a measure of the expectations a
parent places on their children to achieve goals.  
b. Unsupportive versus supportive: This axis is about emotional support. A supportive parent accepts
their child as they are for their own strengths and weaknesses and supports their individual goals. An
unsupportive parent tries to guide their child toward choices they, the parent, would have made. 
These two axes form a 2×2 grid of parenting styles, giving us four parenting categories: Authoritative,
Permissive, Neglectful, and Authoritarian.
Authoritative Parenting – “wise parenting, because parents in this quadrant are accurate judges of the
psychological needs of their children. They appreciate that children need love, limits, and latitude to reach
their full potential. Their authority is based on knowledge and wisdom, rather than power. Parents have
high standards and expectations for their children but also offer loving support. Authoritative parenting
produces kids who get higher grades, are more self-reliant, and experience less anxiety and depression.
This is generally true across ethnicity, social class, and marital status.

Neglectful Parenting - undemanding, unsupportive approach to raising children and creates an especially
toxic emotional climate.

Authoritarian Parenting - demanding and unsupportive, exactly the approach John Watson advocated for
strengthening character in children.  An extremely strict parenting style. It places high expectations on
children with little responsiveness. As an authoritarian parent, you focus more on obedience, discipline,
control rather than nurturing your child.

Permissive Parenting - supportive and undemanding, a style of child-rearing that features two key
traits: being nurturing and warm (which is good for kids), and. being reluctant to impose limits (which is
problematic).

2) that surrogate parents, in the “ecosystem” of adults that influence a person’s life, can play a
huge role in challenging and supporting a child.

Tough Love

“Tough love” is a term coined by Bill Milliken in his book “Tough Love” in 1968 and has been used by
many other authors since then. It means treating a person – say, a young child – in a stern manner with the
intent to help get him on the right life path. Basically, there has to be some strong feeling of affection and
pure intention behind the sternness to qualify it as “tough love.”

For example, genuinely concerned parents refusing to give in to the whims of their misbehaving child
and instead demands that he mends his ways would be said to be practicing “tough love.” Athletic coaches
who enforce strict rules and stringent training regimens, but who care about their players, could also be
said to be practicing “tough love.” In the family setting, “tough love” can be as simple as ‘authoritative’
parenting.

But according to the book of Angela Duckworth entitled “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance”
there’s no either/or trade-off between supportive parenting and demanding parenting. It’s a common
misunderstanding to think of “tough love” as a carefully struck balance between affection and respect on
the one hand, and firmly enforced expectations on the other. In actuality, there’s no reason you can’t do
both. Very clearly, this is exactly what the parents of Steve Young and Francesca Martinez did. The
Youngs were tough, but they were also loving. The Martinezes were loving, but they were also tough. Both
families were “child-centered” in the sense that they clearly put their children’s interests first, but neither
family felt that children were always the better judge of what to do, how hard to work, and when to give up
on things.

Emulation and Imitation

Growing up with support, respect, and high standards confers a lot of benefits, one of which is
especially relevant to grit—in other words, wise parenting encourages children to emulate their parents.

To a certain extent, of course, young children imitate their mothers and fathers. When we have nothing
else to go by, what other choice do we have, really, than to mimic the accents, habits, and attitudes of the
people around us? We talk like they talk. We eat what they eat. We adopt their likes and dislikes.

2. THE PLAYING FIELDS OF GRIT

Extracurricular activities that develop grit in young people should involve an adult in charge -ideally one who
is not a parent, but also is wise, challenging and supportive.  And these activities should be designed to
cultivate interest, practice, purpose, and hope.

Learned Industriousness

The association that working hard leads to reward can be learned. Because when we don’t make
that association, we tend to fall back to laziness. We human beings have a tendency to preserve energy as
much as possible when we don’t see the point of action. And when we don’t make the association that
working hard pays off then, guess what? We will not work hard.

The Hard Thing Rule

The Hard Thing rule is a rule that Duckworth's family has in place, and it's designed to help her
family (and particularly her kids) to develop their level of grit. There are three main aspects:

1. Everyone has to do a hard thing.

The first part of the rule is that everyone has to do a hard thing. A hard thing is something that
requires daily deliberate practice, deliberate practice is a specific type of focused practice in which
you deliberately stretch yourself and get out of your comfort zone. You focus on the areas you are
weakest and develop strategies for improving them. Deliberate practice is not particularly fun, but it
is an incredibly efficient way to improve. This is why you need a high level of grit to do it
consistently. And also, this is why it's called the "Hard Thing" rule.

2. You can quit, but not any time.

The second part of the Hard Thing rule is that you are allowed to quit, but not until a 'natural'
stopping point arrives. That means you can't quit until the football season is over, or this term's
music lessons are done. The goal is to finish whatever you begin and so you cannot quit just
because you had a bad day, or someone shouted at you, or you feel disheartened about your
progress.

3. You get to pick your hard thing.

The third part of the Hard Thing rule is that each person gets to pick the thing that they want to work
on. An intrinsic part of being gritty is being passionate and interested in what you're doing, so it's
important that you pick an activity you are interested in from the beginning. Being forced to play the
 piano when you always hated it will not lead to developing grit, it will lead to resentment and wasted
time.

3. A CULTURE OF GRIT
“The bottom line on culture and grit is: If you want to be grittier, find a gritty culture and join it.  If you’re a
leader, and you want the people in your organization to be grittier, create a gritty culture.”

Culture is defined by the shared norms and values of a group of people. A distinct culture exists
anytime a group of people are in consensus about how we do things around here and why.

When you adopt a culture, you make a categorical allegiance to that “in a group”. As a business
owner, it is important to think long and hard about the type of culture that you want to foster within your
organization. As a parent it is equally important to think long and hard about the type of culture you want in
your home.  

If you want to be grittier, find a gritty culture and join it. If you cannot find it, then create it. If you are
a leader in your organization, and you want your organization to be grittier, create a gritty culture. 
Grit as part of a culture is powerful. Culture has the power to shape your identity. Over time and under the
right circumstance, the norms and values of the group to which we belong become our own. We internalize
them. We carry them with us. 

Identity influences every aspect of our character, but it has special relevance to grit.  Often our
passion and perseverance come from the person we know ourselves to be. 

If you create a vision for yourself and stick to it, you can make amazing things happen in your life.
Once you have done the work to create a clear vision, it is the discipline and effort to maintain that vision
that can make it all come true.  Be intentional about the culture you want to see in your business, most
importantly lead by example. 

A culture of grit is a culture that supports determination and direction, passion, and perseverance. You'll
find that if you value these ideals, your team will become self-aware and will begin to support itself and its
members

ooOoo

REFERENCES

Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: the power of passion and perseverance. First Scribner hardcover edition. New
York, NY, Scribner.

3 Takeaways from Grit by Angela Duckworth. (n.d.). Productive and Free. Retrieved October 28, 2022,
from https://www.productiveandfree.com/blog/grit-by-angela-duckworth

readingraphics. (2019, March 19). Book Summary - Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.
Readingraphics. https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-grit-the-power-of-passion-and-
perseverance/
Aster, H. (2021, November 2). Raising Children With Grit: Tips for Parents. Shortform Books.
https://www.shortform.com/blog/raising-children-with-grit/

The Hard Thing Rule. (n.d.). Www.thegameoffew.com. Retrieved October 28, 2022, from
https://www.thegameoffew.com/blog/2017-3-12-the-hard-thing-rule

Vigeant, F. (n.d.). Grit is a Culture. Www.knowatom.com. Retrieved October 28, 2022, from

https://www.knowatom.com/blog/grit-is-a-culture#:~:text=A%20culture%20of%20grit%20is

(2022). Thepowermoves.com. https://thepowermoves.com/grit-review/

Brennan, D. (2021, March 9). What Is Authoritarian Parenting? WebMD.

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/authoritarian-parenting-what-is-it#:~:text=Authoritarian
%20parenting%20is%20an%20extremely

Dewar, G. (2019, September 2). Permissive parenting: An evidence-based guide. PARENTING SCIENCE.

https://parentingscience.com/permissive-parenting/#:~:text=Permissive%20parenting%2C
%20sometimes%20called%20%E2%80%9Cindulgent