drowning.

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/38219104.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Vision and the Scarlet Witch, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel
Relationship: Past Vision/Wanda Maximoff
Character: Vision (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff
Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Angst, Angst, Heavy Angst, Sad
Ending, Vision and The Scarlet Witch Compliant, Wanda Maximoff
Deserves Better, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, POV Wanda
Maximoff, Vision Is An Asshole, 616-Compliant Asshole Behavior, All
my homies hate 616!Vision, vent fic, Author hates canon, kind of, Ficlet
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-04-07 Words: 396

drowning.
by 616sys

It's been a long time since I was alone. Truly, for all intents and purposes, alone.

He left. I knew he would, at some point. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I try to pretend the grief
doesn't exist as I watch Thomas and William play. It's still there. It consumes me, and I know it
will. I try to test what Agatha said by letting my eyes wander to the clock far above my darlings
heads and thinking about the weather. The room goes quiet, the sound of wooden blocks and soft
babbling vanishing, and it forces tears into my eyes and a lump into my throat. When I look back,
they're there. They always are. That doesn't change the knowledge that they were gone. That will
never erase the knowledge that they aren't real.

His voice was so unwaveringly calm when he said that to me. So many times, he repeated those
words. "They aren't real. They aren't real". Like a goddamn toaster could lecture me on what was
real and what wasn't! Like I was some kind of fragile lunatic, like I was the one who had messed
up! Me! Like I was the problem, like I was the one who messed up everything! As if he hadn't
made his mistakes, as if he hadn't left me and broke the vows we took, as if-

- the blocks have gone silent again. I make myself sick with the thought of it. I am a horrible
mother. Perhaps even a horrible person too. Am I a person anymore?

There's no time for this, though. I refocus my eyes on my sons. My sons, my sons. They are real, if
only for now. Is that not what matters?

No, a small part of me answers. What matters is him. As if he is my world, as if I am defined by

him.

And am I not, in a way? Vision's wife. The woman who married the synthezoid. The synthezoid's
ex-wife, now. The freak show of a woman. All at his command, all by his hands. We were happy
once; I like to believe we were happy. We had twins, beautiful baby boys. A home. Peace, finally,
when I was pregnant. And it was never enough.
Suddenly, being alone is not all that bad, anymore. Alone, nothing can hurt me. Alone, I can hurt
no one.

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