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she raised to his face. He was looking at the spear that was lodged in her chest. When she smiled with tears, she whispered, Our son live. *** Forgive me, Your highness. They stood cornered on the precipice. Crumpling into his arms, he did not feel the blade that pierced his back, or the hundreds of gazes that were satisfied at their macabre image. With a last brush of the wet clump of dark hair on the tiny head, he took the stained child from the slowly cooling arms, and heaved it to the waiting blonde woman with her quaking hands. (the voices are gone. they forgive you. he will live, and he will be like you. a son, a son.sakura skips to the edge of the precipice. like a guiltless child, she points to a familiar point where a cove holds witness to a certain pledge sasuke, i am happy enough she calls him, her arms open wide to fly.) He leaned his clammy temple on her bruised neck, on the shorn strands of pink that dusted the sides of his cheek. All he possessed were the vestiges of a ruined home, caused by a deranged mind. A suffering she bore because she loved a monster. (sakura feels like there are wingslarge, wide and ephemeralon her back as they hover over the flaming night sky. a kind breeze whistles on their ears. broken green glass-eyes are open, her fingers caress his closed lids as they break the soft mirror, cold and silver, in yielding shards. they sink to the watery depths, the tart taste of freshwaters on her mouth. and she feels free at last.)

xiii. feel this dagger of pain | What long ago he foretold. Ino hardly cared that in any second this scorned Uchiha realm would be gone before the deep evening breaks. She did not give a damn that the land would be razed in fire. There might be men, women and children that fulfilled the vengeance in their minds and held the power on their hands tonight; there would still be a future promising more pain, tears and grief, but she was not bothered. Ino could only hear the infant wailing, splitting her already breaking heart.

Landing in London

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4th July 2007

Dearest Sasuke-kun, How are you? I hope youre doing well. It seems like its been so long since weve talked. You left so suddenly, you see. You didnt really give me much of a warning nor a time to say goodbye. Im trying to find the right words but all I end up doing is sounding too formal and whiny. I suppose, if youre here right now, youll say its typical of me. You know, Im not quite sure whether Ill send this or not. Youll know if I do, of course, but this letter just lacks any purpose. I think I just want to be closer to you, even if its simply writing your name on a piece of paper. I have to go to work now. Be safe. All my love, Sakura *** 29th August 2007 Sakura, Im doing fine. Life in the trenches isnt as bad as it seems. I presume your work is going well too. Theres this annoying boy, Uzumaki Naruto, in my troop. Hes loud and obnoxious and insists that Im his best friend even though Ive only known the idiot for a fortnight. I think youll like him. Our commander is about our age and is the laziest bastard youll ever meet. His name is Nara Shikamaru and hes actually smarter than you, believe it or not. But the guy does nothing but sit on his ass the whole day. I dont know how he made it to the ranks. Ive got to go, were having a mission briefing in five minutes. Uchiha Sasuke. *** 17th September 2007 Dearest Sasuke-kun, Im so glad to hear that youre doing well. I hope theyre feeding you right over there. After all, how are you supposed to protect our country when you havent even had a proper meal? Tenten came today and we went out for tea. She looked really bad, poor darling. Apparently, her fianc, Hyuuga Neji, was injured badly last week and was sent home. The doctors said that hed survive, but the damage done to his eyes was irreversible. They said hed go completely blind in a few days.

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On the other hand, Ive decided to do my part for the war effort today. Im going to use that nursing degree of mine to help in the hospitals; for the soldiers that have been sent home. Besides, being a secretary is too boring for me anyway. Even Inos doing her bit. Shes trying to recruit young men. I know what youre thinking right now Sasuke-kun, and its not like that. Its just that her looks and charm make her more persuasive than others; its a completely clean job. Shes also setting aside a portion of the flowers in her familys shop for all of our men who wont come home alive. You wont be one of them, right?

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Be safe. All my love, Sakura. *** 22th October 2007 Sakura, Yes, Ive been eating. The food here is crap, though. We dont have anything but canned food. We had a stash of ramen, but then Naruto ate the whole goddamn carton by himself, the dumbass. Hows work at the hospital? Its good that youre there; at least you can do something rather than mope around uselessly. I saw a man die in front of me today. He was badly injured, and Naruto wanted to treat his wounds, but Commander Nara stopped him because he was on the other side. He interrogated the man, but the guy wouldnt give us any information. In the end, we gave up. I was ordered to kill him. And I did. Sakura, I dont think I can ever look at anyone in the face again. Uchiha Sasuke. *** 18th November 2007 Dearest Sasuke, Ramen, huh? Were mass-producing that stuff over here, what with the famine and everything. Im almost sick of that stuff; Ive never liked it much in the first place. But then, whats a person suppose to do? Ill trudge along until the war is over. Once were free, I think Im going to treat myself to a nice dress and a lavish meal. With beef. Mm. I havent had that for a long time. Today, the Head Doctor, Tsunade, called me after my shift and asked me if I would like to become her apprentice. I said yes immediately of course; shes the best doctor in the country! I wouldve been insane if I turned her down. So yes, when you come back, you wont even need to go to the hospital. Ill treat all your wounds. I dont quite know what to say about what happened to you, Sasuke-kun. But you did what you had to do. Orders are orders, arent they? I dont think any less of you for doing what your commander tells you to. After all, youre fighting for our country. Youre just doing your job.

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I must admit though: Im scared for you. And I know you think thats annoying, but the thing is, youre never scared of anything. So someone has to be scared for you, right? I know youll pull through though. Be safe and come home quickly. Ill be waiting for you. All my love, Sakura *** 3rd December 2007 Sakura, Tomorrow might be my last day. I cant say any specifics, in case this letter gets intercepted. If all goes as planned, Ill be back in Konoha by the New Year; and if not, then Ill probably end up losing my life. In any case, this will be my last letter. Im not quite sure how I feel about this. Thank you, Sakura. Your words have gotten me through the hard times, even if theyre few and far in between. Theyre almost as good as having the real thing with me. I dont know what you are to me, or what I am to you. Hell, I dont know whether these are even love letters or not, all I know is that theyre the only reason I can keep going right now. I think I love you. I dont know how long this operation will be. Ideally, itll only take a few days, but if things get messed up, it can take weeks, months, maybe even more. But, Ill make up for this. Ill make up for all of this, when I come backand I will. I promise. Just wait for me a little longer. Just trust me and thatll get me through this damnable hell. Thatll bring me home. Marry me, Sakura. And I swear to whatever god is out there that Ill come home alive. Uchiha Sasuke ***

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1st January 2008 Excuse me, miss? Sakura looks up from her paperwork to find a blond-haired, blue-eyed man (boy)her age standing outside her office. Yes? Sakura answers tiredly, hours and hours of work taking its toll on her. Come in, come in. Are you Miss Haruno Sakura? Yes I am, she answers, getting up to shake the young mans hand. And how may I help you, sir? My name is Uzumaki Naruto. Something inside Sakura breaks at the sound of his name. Naruto? she murmurs. Her eyes then shoot up to his face in alarm. I Sasuke-kun. Wheres Sasuke-kun? I requested to come here to tell you the news myself S-Stop, Sakura mutters disbelievingly. Its not. Youyou just came here to tell me hes injured, didnt you? Hes just injured and hes in one of the wards here, right? Ill go see him now. She makes a move to the door, but her path is blocked by Naruto, who looks at her with too much sympathy, too much pity, for Sakuras liking. Hes not there, Naruto says. No! Sakura cries. No, Iplease. Please, she begs him. He isnt. Hehe cant be. Im sorry, miss, Naruto says, eyes crumbling at the sight of the young pinkhaired nurse slowly breaking. Im going to see him now, Sakura says determinedly. Ill just go down to the reception to see which room hes in and Miss! Naruto says, grasping her shoulders with his hands. They are warm and strong, and Sakura shudders at the thought of how many people he has killed with them. Its no use, miss. Hes dead. No, he isnt. Im sorry, miss. But, she whispers. But he promised. Naruto closes his eyes, giving Sakura time to hastily wipe away a tear.

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The mission wouldve failed if it werent for him, Naruto explains. He sacrificed himself for this war. Its because of him that weve won. Our country is free now, miss. Were free. Because of him. I dont believe it. He always said that sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many But why him? Sakura wails. Why him of all people? God couldve chosen anyone but him. Out of all the people, why did Sasuke-kunmy Sasuke-kunhave to be the one who died? Maybe it was Gods purpose for him, Naruto says softly, too softly for a man (boy) who was described to Sakura as loud and obnoxious. Sakura almost hates him for his empathy. I dont believe it, Sakura repeats. Why couldnt it be someone else? Please, sir. Please say it was someone else. Not Sasuke-kun. Anyone but my Sasuke-kun. Please. Im afraid that I cant. She purses her lips and lets the tears flow unabashed. After all, the man (boy) opposite her is crying too. I watched him die, Naruto says, his voice wavering. II tried to save him, believe me, miss, I did. But I just couldnt get there on time, and there were so many enemies around us. They were shooting at us and setting off bombs everywhere. We just ran out of time. Im sorry, miss. I am. be. Sakura chokes back a sob and shakes her head. Dont be, she says. Dont

They stand in silence for some time before Sakura opens her mouth and asks uncertainly, Is it selfish of me, sir, to wish that someone else died instead of him? Naruto looks at her. He looks at her with those brilliant blue eyes that seem so pure and innocent despite what they must have seen; and he smiles that smile, that smile that says he understands everything. Sakura bets he doesnt, though. Of course it isnt. I must be a truly horrible person, Sakura says, hiccupping. You arent, miss. Oh, but I am. Because Im standing here right now wishing with all my heart that it was someone elses loved one that died. I wouldnt have minded that. Whole cities could collapse. Hundreds of nameless, faceless people could perish, and I wouldnt care as long as he was safe. That to me, sir, sounds selfish. There is another awkward pause. Theyre going to set up a memorial for him. For what hes done for us, Naruto says, changing the subject and wiping away his tears

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on his sleeve. He was a good man, miss. I know he was. He talked about you often, you know. Said that you were the only thing that made him keep going. And that the thought of seeing you after all this craziness was the only reason he managed to get up every day. I didnt believe him at that time. Hes such a cold bastard, you see, miss. But when he talks about you, his eyesthey soften, kind of. And its like hes not really with me. He said Id have to meet you to understand, and said that hed introduce you to me when we got back. I can see what he was talking about now. Then, it hits her. Sasuke is dead. He is dead, and he is never coming back. The fact sinks into her like a bullet, and once it does, it is suddenly all too much for Sakura. She reaches behind her and grabs her desk for support, her other hand is clamped over her mouth to stop the strangled cries from escaping. Miss? Miss, are you okay? Youre shaking, Naruto says, concern evident in his too-blue eyes. Sakura takes a moment to regain her composure before replying, Im fine. Really. I will be. Naruto looks at her skeptically. Really, Sakura assures him. He loved you, you know, Naruto says. And he told me before he diedhe told me to tell you thatthat hes sorry. Just when she thinks shes broken, another part of her shatters. I have to go now, miss. My superiors want me in their office in ten minutes. Ill see you around sometime, hopefully. Im really sorry about Sasuke, miss. Why? she whispers, her eyes never leaving Narutos guilt-stricken face. Why what, miss? Naruto asks, confused. Why is he sorry? Naruto takes some time before saying hesitantly, He thinks hes failed you. With that, the blond wipes off any remaining tears and makes his way out of the room. Sakura collapses on her chair, sobbing. Miss? She hears the word and looks up. Its Naruto, standing just outside her door, looking exactly the same as he had when he had brought her the news. Yes? she croaks back. Dont be so sad, miss. Sasuke wouldnt have liked that, Naruto says, almost apologetic. He only wanted you to be happy, you know. Good day, miss.

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*** The next day, Sakura takes Sasukes letters out of the box she has been keeping them in and burns all of them, save his last one. She smiles bitterly as she rereads it for the hundredth time. Widowed before my wedding day, she murmurs, laughing at the irony of it all. Sakura looks at the tin, where the letters burn, watching as the flames die down, his words turning into ash. She leans in to get a closer look at the faintly glowing embers. It smells oddly like freedom.

Make-up Smeared Eyes

Sakura.
She didnt like the sound of his voiceshe stopped liking it a while agobut the way her name came out of his mouth sounded like he needed her. She knew she wasnt a necessity, though; she was more of an accessory, a pretty ornament that was put on display. She knew the routine, and she prayed that somebody would save her from it, because she didnt like the feeling of her bare back against her cold wooden door. She didnt like having bruised lips in the morning. She didnt like to be called a whore. She didnt like the feeling of not being able to walk with her head held high anymore. (Because, truthfully, the sight of her feet on the ground just reminded her that she couldnt even look at anyone in the eye anymore.) Sakura kept her emotions locked in her heart and she made sure to throw out the key, made sure she could never find it again, for fear that her feelings would interfere with her relationshipsthis one in particular. She couldnt let her thoughts, wants, or opinions get involved in this; because once they did, her whole life would change drastically. She didnt really know how it would affect her, but her past experiences had taught her to fear risks. She felt her whole body go numb at the touch of his cold fingertips, as she tried her hardest not to stiffen suddenly. Her hands felt nothing unfamiliar as they tangled with threads of slippery black. She felt her nails scratch against his scalp, as he pressed his lips against hers harder. Sometimes, she wondered why she had ever wanted this. It was her dream, but why was it so painful? ***