CONCEPT OF COURTSHIP Courtship. The family in all societies undergoes change.

The major causes of

which are the process of modernization with their developments such as industrialization, urbanization
and outside influences brought in by mass media and contact with Western culture. Fortunately, this
process is evolutionary in most aspects of life. To understand the present patterns of courtship, we must
trace their roots in ancient practices. Courtship during the early period took patience and a spirit of
dedication on the part of a man to win the hand oh his fair lady. For the custom of the period; a custom
that has persisted to this day in some remote areas, required that he serve the girl’s parent for months
or even years. He chopped wood, fetched water and did chores required of him. He was not supposed
to talk to his fair lady; only their eyes meet occasionally to change mute messages of love. There was no
chance for them to meet clandestinely, for the girls was truly guarded by the parents or by the
grandparents, who were always on the lookout for any sign of mischief on the part of the suitor would
make a good son-in-law and husband, the parents finally give conditions. (Agoncillo, 1990) These
conditions resolved around the DOWRY OR BRIDESPRICE. The dowry was a gift turned over by the groom
to the bride’s parents, for all practical purposes in exchange for the bride. When a man decided to
marry, he consulted his parents and the elders in his family. If the girl and her family were acceptable,
the groom’s family started to negotiate with the bride’s parents in a ceremony called “pamamanhikan”.
Elderly representatives of both parties discussed the terms of a dowry with great tact and diplomacy.
The dowry ordinarily refers to the custom in many European societies of the bride’s parents giving a
substantial present to the husband. Here, it has the opposite meaning of a gift from the groom’s parents
to those of the bride. This is sometimes known as “bride purchase”, although it is seldom a market-type
of transaction. The dowry is usually a marriage settlement consisting of land, house or other goods given
by groom’s family to the new wife. SEVERAL KINDS OF DOWRY to be given to the family of the bride-to-
be: 1. Bigay-kaya. Consisting of land, gold or dependents. In the absence of these, any valuable article
would do. 2. Panghimuyat. This is a certain amount of money to be given to the bride-to-be’s parents as
payment for the mother’s efforts ij rearing the girl to womanhood. 3. Bigay-suso. This is another bribe to
be given to the girl’s wet-nurse who fed the bride during her infancy with milk from her own breasts. 4.
Himaraw. Sum of money to be given to the girl’s parents as reimbursement for the amount spent in
feeding the girl during her infancy. 5. Sambon. A dowry to be given to the girl’s relatives (Agoncillo,
1990)