2

ivy lEaGuE
adMissi ons oFFicEr
Q&a
DR. MICHELE HERNANDEz
Former Assistant Director of Admissions, Dartmouth College
Author of A is for Admission

Q: Can you give students an idea of what happens to their appli-

cations and essays after they are received by the college?

A: First, admissions officers collect all the different parts of the ap-
plication. Then, all the pieces are scanned and date stamped. It’s all
done electronically like an electronic file cabinet. Once everything is
assembled, admissions officers start to read them one by one (now they
often do them on the computer instead of in hard copy).
Unlike many colleges, Dartmouth doesn’t sort the applications at
first into regional categories or schools. They are placed into complete-
ly random groups that correspond with a particular admissions officer’s
group of states.

13
14 50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays

Once an admissions officer reads one application folder, it is passed

on to someone else who will also review it. If after two reads it’s a tie,
the file goes to committee or to the director. After reading all the appli-
cations, the admissions officers start meeting and discussing the merits
of each applicant one by one through committee meetings.
Admissions officers don’t only look at the applicants at the top end
of an academic or extracurricular scale. Every single application is re-
viewed through this process.

Q: What are some of the most common mistakes that students

make when writing their essays?

A: Some students simply don’t spend any time on their essays. A lot
of bright students think, “I’m number one so I don’t need to take any
time on the application.” The result is that it looks rushed. You want
to show some reflection, that you thought about your application. You
don’t want to have the appearance that you spent only five minutes on
it. Some of the more obvious errors have been not spell checking or
putting the wrong school down, but more often, it’s that the essays are
not interesting.
Another mistake is the admissions officer doesn’t learn anything. If
I read an essay and think, “That’s nice but I don’t know anything more
about this student,” you’ve failed. You have to share something interest-
ing about yourself. remember that it’s not just one essay, but there are
5 to 6 smaller essays. It’s not as limited as you think.

Q: How important is the introduction?

A: Introductions are nice, but the whole essay has to work. It has to
grab you from the beginning like a newspaper lead. It has to make you
want to keep going.

Q: Can you think of an example of when an applicant wrote about

an ordinary topic in an extraordinary way?

A: One student wrote about shooting a squirrel. I’m sure his guidance
counselor told him to not write about that. However, the essay was
about growing up to be a man, a meditation on what it means to grow
up. While the topic may have seemed like the plot of a bad play, it was
Chapter 2: Ivy League Admissions Officer Q&A 15

a slice of life essay that told a lot about his family and about him. The
topic doesn’t matter as much as what you do with it.

Q: Are there any topics or approaches to topics that students

shouldn’t write about?

A: Any approach works if it works. Writing is so fluid. There are no

hard and fast rules except to be honest about yourself. The magic for-
mula is that there’s no magic formula. The truth is that you don’t have
to be a fabulous writer either. The admissions officers are reading the
essays more for content. They’re almost speed reading them for con-
tent. remember that this is not your chance to be Faulkner. This is
your chance to write about something you’re interested in. It’ll be a lot
more vivid if it’s something you’re interested in. This may sound obvi-
ous, but so many kids obsess about the writing style instead of worry-
ing about the actual content and that’s a mistake.

Q: Do you recommend that students ask someone else to read

their essay and give feedback?

A: You need some feedback because what you think is funny may not be
to other people. You don’t want it to be over-edited where everything’s
perfect, and you don’t need a professional editor. The essay could be a
little unpolished, but I would have a friend or parent read it for diction
and flow. You don’t want an essay in which you can tell that an English
teacher went through it 45 times.

Q: How important is the essay? In your experience, has it ever

made the difference between a student being accepted or
not?

A: It all depends on where you are. If you are very strong academically,
the admissions officers are verifying whether you’re the genius every-
one says you are. For you, the essay doesn’t matter as much. Also, if
you’re in the low end, it doesn’t matter as much. It matters more for the
students in the middle of the pool for that college. If we use the scale of
1 to 9, the essay matters a lot for the students who are rated 5, 6, or 7.
The essays have made a difference for students, but there haven’t been
16 50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays

many students who have moved from the rejection to the accepted pile
based solely on the essays.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to add?

A: It’s not just one essay that counts. It’s the whole application. It doesn’t
matter how good your essays are if your teachers say you’re not inter-
esting. It has to do with how all the information (teacher recs, essays,
school support, transcript) fits together. Your essays have to be in line
with the rest of your application. The admissions officers are going to
be suspicious if you have a brilliant essay but it doesn’t match the rest
of your application. Everything has to be in the same vein.
Also, if you’ve had extraordinary circumstances, you should write
about them in a note. If you weren’t involved in activities, explain that
you were taking care of your autistic sister. You want admissions of-
ficers to know about anything unusual
Dr. Michele Hernandez is the former assistant director of admissions at
Dartmouth College and the author of A is for Admission, The Middle School
Years, Don’t Worry You’ll Get In and Acing the College Application. She is
with the president and founder of Hernandez College Consulting (www.
hernandezcollegeconsulting.com).

EVA OSTRUM
Former Assistant Director of Undergraduate Admissions, Yale University
Author of The Thinking Parent’s Guide to College Admissions
Founder of High School Futures

Q: What are some of the most common mistakes that students

make when writing their essays?

A: Some schools ask students to write about a role model such as ask-
ing what single person they would have lunch with. The biggest mis-
take that students make is that they spend more time writing about
the other person than themselves. I’d suggest starting from your own
vantage point. How have you been affected? From my own life, if I were
writing an essay, one person I’ve always admired is nelson Mandela.
Every day on the first day of school I read an inspiring quote from
nelson Mandela. One day a boy looked at me and said, reacting to the
quote, “Miss, who are you?” Focus on how your own actions and out-
Chapter 2: Ivy League Admissions Officer Q&A 17

look have changed as a result of that person whether you’ve met them
face to face or only know their writing.
Another really common mistake is that students feel they have to
write something that makes them look different. When you’re apply-
ing to a highly selective college, there’s nothing you can do that looks
different based on the actions themselves. Every admissions officer has
seen someone who does what you do. Instead, focus on what makes
you you. That’s really what admissions officers want to know. Don’t
tie yourself in knots to look exotic. It doesn’t matter what your essay’s
about. It’s how you write about it.

Q: How can you tell if a student’s essay is authentic?

A: You look at their critical reading score. If they have a low critical
reading and writing score and an essay that looks like it’s written by a
college professor or if the essay sounds like a very sophisticated person
wrote it and the recommendations don’t present the same image, these
can be a red flag. For many years, there’s been an understanding that
students in a certain income bracket get coached. If you do nothing,
you’re putting yourself at risk. remember though it’s fine to have some-
one read your essay and give feedback on how it flows. It’s not fine to
have someone read your essay and do line by line edits. That would
present you in a way that doesn’t line up.

Q: What is one or two of the best introductions you remember?

What made them so memorable?

A: There was one essay that a student wrote about when his father first
took him for karate lessons. The first sentence was about how he had
been a complete failure at every other sport. There was another one by
a girl who wrote about how she was a comic book artist. She was ap-
plying to art school, and some schools don’t consider it to be a serious
art form. She grabbed me from the very beginning because her passion
was so clear. The essays that grab me give me some kind of hook in the
beginning to reel me in.

Q: Can you think of an example of when an applicant wrote about

an ordinary topic in an extraordinary way?

A: One Yale applicant wrote about how every day on her way to school
she passed a building where the pigeons rested. You would think that’s
18 50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays

a ridiculous topic, but it was so well written and engaging. It was about
something mundane, but it really grabbed my attention.
It’s important to tell a good story. Think about the stories you listen
to in your life that your relatives tell or your friends tell. If they’re well
told, that’s what catches your attention.

Q: Are there any topics or approaches to topics that students

shouldn’t write about?

A: Topics that deal with personal tragedy are difficult. Frequently the
students are not far enough away from the event to write about it with
any distance. They’re not really telling a story. The essay is either a fac-
tual narration or therapeutic. I would be very wary of writing about a
really serious, heavy topic. It can be done, but I think that the rule of
thumb should be if the topic is still sensitive enough that you might
wince a little bit, tear up, or cringe, maybe it’s not a good topic. If you
can talk about the event and maybe even have a sense of humor about
it, that’s a sign you’re far enough away from it. Of course that doesn’t
mean you have to write about it with humor.

Q: How important is the essay?

A: There was at least one student where the essay was very significant.
I fell in love with this student because of his essay, and I wanted him
to go to Yale. I thought he would add so much to the school, but one
of his SAT scores was weak. It’s so competitive that if there’s one chink
in the armor, that can end it. I could’ve passed over him and no one
would’ve objected, but I made such a case for this student. I fought for
him, and he got in. However, it can’t just be on the basis of the essay
alone. His teachers also really loved him and thought he walked on
water. There has to be some resonance between the essay, the teachers
and the classes.

Q: Is there anything that a student might find surprising about

what you are looking for in the essays?

A: I think students would be surprised to know that admissions offi-

cers aren’t looking for anything exotic. The more specific examples you
can use, the more you can make it a story with very specific details, the
better. You want to be able to picture what the person looks like, what
Chapter 2: Ivy League Admissions Officer Q&A 19

it would be like to sit in a room and have a conversation with the per-
son. The essay should make the admissions officers feel like they’ve had
a conversation with you and want to learn more. It’s not more esoteric
than that.
Eva Ostrum worked as an assistant director of undergraduate admissions at
Yale University and wrote The Thinking Parent’s Guide to College Admissions.
She also founded and runs High School Futures, an organization that works
on educational reform in urban high schools (www.hsfutures.org).