“It is I that will battle the Me”

A Self-reflective Essay

For others, it is easy to take opinions that only resonate within you. I grew up as a people
pleaser and every comment made about me, including from people whom I have no significant
relationship with, plunges into the barriers between what’s relevant or not. Up until now, I am
unable to distinguish criticisms that I should take or should reconsider, because I was raised to be
hyper-aware of the things that I do that may affect people, even indirectly. George Herbert Mead
was stern when he said that people’s perception of us will only become important to an individual
once they are able to recognize the beliefs and behaviors of “the generalized other.” At the end of
the discussion tackling “I” vs. “Me”, I realized that I am capable and in control on what are the
things, especially opinions, that could affect me as a person and as a member of society.
Before my moment of realization, I was able to collate personal experiences and the Trilogy
of Mind-Self-Society. How throughout my childhood and up to the present, I have experienced the
three stages that honed both versions of my social and personal self. I was always commended by
my mother whenever I remember bits of my past, as early as 4 years old. She said that not all
children remember up to that because it was the moment of a child when they are not conscious of
their surroundings at all. I truly agree with her statement because this is where the “preparatory
stage” of Mead was referring to. It was the stage of our early childhood where our only known
skill is imitating the actions of the people around us. It was introduced as false interaction because
the only focus during this stage is the action itself and the interaction was nowhere near
meaningful.
I remember copying the actions of my grandmother during her prayer time. She would raise
her hands in the air, glorifying the Lord and praising Him. I can recall how I would kneel beside
her and imitate her actions. I would close my eyes, raise my hands, and sing together as she prays.
I kept on imitating her every night, without knowing the true intention of the action.
As I grew a little older, I was sociable around the age of 7. I had childhood friends around
the neighborhood. Our favorite game of choice was bahay-bahayan and titser-titseran where I
would always be the mother and at the same time the student. We cooked different junk foods in
a fake kitchen, we would raise our hands to answer on our mini whiteboard, tackling simple
addition as easy as 1+6=. During this “play stage” we were able to use our imagination and create
various personas that would fit our choice of role. We produced scenarios that are reasonable for
home or school settings. In the end, we were able to differentiate what to do when an individual is
at home or school.
At the final stage, called the “game stage”, I believe I have advanced a little too early for
this phase which caused my people-pleaser attitude. When I was young, I was bullied a lot by my
cousins for various reasons. I am a person with a wall-eyed condition or what is commonly known
as banlag. They would constantly tease me for it whenever I failed to control the movement of my
eyes. I was also a very chubby kid, so eating more than a regular child would cause them to laugh
and make fun of me. I wasn’t taught that these negative opinions about me were not true because
my mother was not present during these times. Although I understand that she has to go overseas
to finance a growing child like me, I could’ve wished someone told me that what they say is not
true and should never be given importance.
 I truly think that up until now I still give importance to their perception of me. Applying
the “I” vs. “Me” into the discussion, I believe that I give more focus to how the generalized others
see me whenever I make interactions with them. Thus, my response will solely depend on how
they see me and not really what I, myself, think about. It is for this reason that it is the most
probable explanation as to why we have similar characteristics if we will compare ourselves to
other people. It is due to the attributes that society expects us to have. Meanwhile, our unique
identities are what separates us from these roles because it is our understanding of what these
societal roles are. Our individuality responds to these implications, thus, having diverse
personalities and influence from other people.
I have learned that there are things that we accept that influence us and things that we reject
but still influence us differently compared to others that may have accepted the perception of the
generalized others. I believe that I learned how to reject the ideas of unimportant perspectives to
brew out the influence that I deserve. I shall strive to create a balance between I and the Me to
advance and let out my actual, authentic self. It is I that will battle the Me.