Jeruel H Luminarias

Crisis Intervention 3rd trimester 2019-20

Insights for Ch.10

From GRIEF to GIFT

Grief is the feeling associated with the sudden change due perhaps of the feeling

loss of something you considered valuable or precious. Grief is also an inevitable

feeling experienced by a person depending on circumstances and with varying degrees.

This maybe present when: losing a job, money being stolen, separation from a family or

loved one, being in a new environment like relocation, health condition, personal safety

being compromised, or even death. The grieving experience carries four aspects: the

intensity of the feeling associated with the loss, the value which one feels toward the

loss, the perception of the effect due to the loss and the adaptability to change. This is a

process uniquely experience by individual in varying level, intensity, duration, effect, and

eventually coping up. That is why, some grieves longer than the others. Others can

easily moved on in a short span of time.

When I lost my mother in 2013, I felt devastated and suffered a lot from the loss.

T’was intense since I am the youngest and being a mama’s boy as well. It really

affected my and my decision leading toward quitting my religious aspiration, job

hopping, and being indecisive when it comes to my career path. There was a longing

and feeling of emptiness and guilt due to perception of being alone. It took me almost

seven years to recover and reorganize. Yet that was also one of the learning moment of

this journey for a learn a lot from the experience.

 In the webinar series I just attended entitled “Coping with Grief during the

Pandemic’ conducted by Fr Arsie Lumiqued, MSC, I learnt a lot of insight about grief

and grief therapy. It is indeed true that grieving is a unique personal experience of an

individual wherein it is also within the individuals’ journey that one will experience

healing and growth. In dealing with the pandemic, such topic is quite relevant. This is

also quite helpful in the One point that I was struck in the talk is about reorganization as

a healthy coping with grief. In this aspect one should identify, name what caused one to

grieve. Client is being assure to talk exhaustively about his/her disposition with

empathy. By this, he/she will explore what one is going through. Another is never to

spiritualize or give false hope to clients. This might not be helpful to grieving clients.

One may think that statements like “at least nakapuhay na sya sa langit” “Ginoo nay

bahala, basi magmilagro, ayaw kabalaka” sound comforting but never really consoling. I

remember that I shut myself from any comforting message of condolences or

spiritualizing since I thought that they would never really understand what I went

through. Positively, in the end, time will just heal us from such experience reaping a lot

of lessons about life. Today, I am grateful since I have experience such. That grief is a

personal process of recovery and reorganization. That made me for who I am today.

The seminar, on the other hand, provides me a lot of knowledge and insights on

grief therapy which is applicable very much to me, being in a helping profession .Surely,

I can apply them to people in need of help when they are in grieving situation. That is

actually an opportunity to help them to recover and grow- a GIFT indeed.