LedByLov

I
NTRODUCTI
ON

Ican'tbelievethi
si sme.I nagr aduat i
ongown
actuall
ygr aduati
ng.Get ti
nganact ualdegr ee.Ai
Godi sgoodi ndeed. I
'
m notsay i
ngt hatbecause
Idon'ttr
ustmy selfbutifonlyy ouknewt he
amountofshi tI'
vebeent hrough.Depr essi
oni s
nojokebr uh.Oncey ouopeny ourlegsf orit,
y'
allwi l
l becommi tt
edt oeachot hertil
lyou
decidetocommi tsuici
de.BeforeIt el
ly outhe
wholest oryletmei ntroducemy self.

Mynamei sQini
siweNkosi.I
'
m 22y ear
sofage
soontobe23.TodayIjustgr
aduatedandI 'm
nowaprofessi
onalchart
edAccountant.Ihave
3bestfr
iendsZi
nz i
,NomhleandThobi.Imay
beinagroupofreall
yhypedupgir
lsbutIf eel
l
onel
ymostofthet
imes.Nooneknowst
heshi
t
t
hatgoesoni
nmyhead.

Ismi l
ealotandl aughal otmaybet hatiswhy
peopledon'tseet hatI'
m brokeni nside.My
mot herdi
edofAi dswhenIwas15.Thenher
boyfri
endcamet oourhouset or apemy
grandmotherasr evengebecausemymot her
supposedlyinfectedhim withAids.That 'swhat
hesai dwhenhewasont opofmygr annyandI
wasundert het ablehidi
nglucki
lyhedi dn'tsee
me.

Mygrandmothergoti
nfect
edandl aterdi
ed
whenIwas16.Ili
vedatachi l
dren'
shomet i
ll
I
was18andthenIgotabur sarytostudyatUJ
whi
chIdidverywell
.

Idon'
thav
eboy
fri
endandnev
erhadone.I
'
m
sti
ll
av irgi
nandI '
mveryproudoft hat.Ever
si
ncemygr annygotrapedIj usthada
passionatehateformen.Includingmyf ather
whor apedandl ef
tmymot herpregnant.Yep
mymot hertol
dmet hatI'
m apr oductofrape
everyti
mewhenshewasdr unk.

I'
vehadquiteafewsui
cideatt
emptswhi chal
l
fai
led.Ihav
eall
lowselfest
eem becauseI'
ve
alwaysbeentol
dthati
m uglyandIbeli
evedthat
.

Mylif
ehasbeenpai
nful
butIcan'tchangethe
pastsoI
'
ml ooki
ngf
orwardt
ot hefuture.

Mynamei
sQi
nisi
weNkosi
andt
hisi
smySt
ory
I
NSERT1

9MONTHSLATER
"
HAWEMAH!
!"

Ijustwakeupandt heonlyt
hingIwanttodois
togobackt osleep.Ican'tt
houghbecauseI
askedf ort
hisli
fe.Ei
shbeinganadult
.Igotaj
ob
atMagebaAccount ants.Myjobi
sreall
yti
ri
ng
butI'mjustgladitpayswell
.Imeanreall
ywell
.I
don'thaveacart hough

Letmet akeashowersoIcango.Igeti nthe

showerf orli
ke5mi nutesandIgetoutwi pemy
bodywi thatowel andloti
onmybody .I
'
m now
standingwithmyhandsonmywai stbecauseI
don'tknowwhatt owear .ThenIoptforabl ack
l
ongl eatherdresswiththi
nstraps.Iwearmy
blackblockheelsandputsomenudel i
psti
ck.
I'
m notreall
yamakeupper sonsol i
psti
ckwi l
l
do.Istylemyweav ei
ntoamessybunt hen
spr
aymyI
rr
esi
sti
blecol
ogne.

DamnIl ookgood.Thedresshugsmycur ves

well
.Letsomet hi
ngaboutmy self
.I'
m dar
kbut
nottoodark.I
'mthickIhaveaniceti
ghtass.
Bigt
highs.Hell
ahips.Andbigboobsbutnot
toobig.I
'm sl
i
mt hi
ck.

Afteradmiri
ngmysel fi
nt hemirr
orIgetout.I'
m
tor
nbet weentakingataxiorcal
li
nganuber .
ButI'm br
okeIcan'tcal
lanuberthatshiti
s
expensivesoIguessIhav etogothetaxirank.
It
snotf arfr
om myf l
atpremisessoI'
llwal
k.I
gettothetaxirankandev er
yoneandalleyes
areonmel i
keI'
m Beyonce.

IgetI'
mt hetaxi
anditdr
ivest
omywor kpl
ace.I
gettowor kandther
earetwoguysoutsidethe
buil
ding.Oneisonthephoneandtheotheris
readi
nganewspaper
.Theoneonthephone
spotsmeandhehashisey
esgluedonme.

Igett
othem andkeepwal
ki
ngt
il
lhecal
l
sme.

Him:"wesi
sikini
abakuf
undi
sangay
ini
ukubi
ngel
ela?
"

Me: "
Bangi
fundi
sakodwabathi
ngi
ngawabi
ngelel
iamaphar
a"

Hi
m:"
Uthi
ngi
yi
phar
a?"

Me:"idi
dn'
tsayt
hatbutkezi
bukeandj
udge
your
sel
f"

Igeti
nsi
demywor
kpr
emi
sesandl
eav
ethem
astheot
herguywhowasreadi
nganewspaper
l
aughsattheot
herone(
thephar
a)

IgetinandIgost raghtint
omywor k.Ikeep
thi
nkingaboutthatguy .If
eelbadforwhatI
sai
dt ohim.Heisnotev encl
osetol ooki
nglike
phara.Helookedreallygood.Heisat alldar
k
sortofcaramellookingguy.

Whyam Iev
enthinki
ngabouthi
m.Letmego
backtomyworkanddowhatI'm pai
dtodo
ngi
khohl
weabafanawhowontdoshi tf
orme.

Iworkandwor kti
l
l it
sknockofftime.Igetout
oftheoff
iceandfindmybossandt hetwoguy s
fr
om earl
ieratt
her ecept
ion.Theylookli
kethey
areinser
iousconversati
on.
Myboss:
"Li
vi
ngal
readymi
ssNkosi
"

Me:"Yessi
randthanky
ouf
ori
ncr
easi
ngour
saf
etymeasur
es"

Myboss:
"Meani
ng"

Me:
"Thenewsecur
it
yguar
ds"

***
Isaythatlooki
ngatthet
woguy
s.Andt
hey
j
ustbur
stintolaught
er*
**

Isaymygoodbyessmi
l
ingandIcanf
eel
eyes
onmeasI'm exi
ti
ng

Iam nowwai
ti
ngforataxithatusual
lypasses
her
eandtothether
ank.Ican'
tcallanuberI'
m
brokerememberkodwapaydayisaroundthe
corner
.AsI'
mthinki
ngofpaydayIfeelapaton
myshoulderIt
urnbackandguesswhoi ti
s..
.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ion

It
urnbackandIf
indthesesexybrowneyes
st
arr
ingatme.I
tstheguyfrom ear
li
er.

Hi
m:"
Whoy
ouwai
ti
ngf
or?
"

Me:
"At
axi
.(Isaywi
thabi
tofat
ti
tude)

Hi
m:"
Abeaut
if
ull
adyl
i
key
out
aki
ngt
axi
s"
Me:"Ihavet
ongobaphel
aIdon'
tremember
youbuyingmeacar"

*
*Hehol
dshi
schest
***

Hi
m:"
Arey
oual
way
sthi
smean"

Me:
"I'
m normal
l
yani
ceper
sonbutt
oyouIj
ust
f
eeli
rr
it
ated"

Hi
m: "
Mxm MynameisNkay
enzi
byt
heway
.
Nkanyezi
Mthet
hwa"

Me:
"Ni
ce"

Hi
m:"
Ohhel
l
oNi
ce"
*
*Il
aughli
kereal
l
ylaughandhei
slooki
ngat
meli
keI'
m cr
azy*

Me:
"ai
boI
'
m Qi
nisi
weNkosi
haw.

Hi
m:"
YoumeanQi
nisi
weMt
het
hwa"

*
*Ir
aisemybr
ows*
*

Me:
"Kahl
ekeusuy
aphapha"

Hi
m:"
Phel
aaguycandr
eam"

Me:"
it
sokaytodream butwakeupandbei
n
t
ouchwit
hreal
it
ybro"
Hi
m:"
Soy
oumeanwedon'
tst
andachance"

**Il
ookathi
mthi
sni
ggamustbeoutofhi
s
damnmi nd*
*

Hi
m:"
Nev
ermi
ndt
hatcanIt
akey
ouhome?
"

Me:
"Ohi
sthaty
ourUNO?
"

*
*Hel
aughsl
i
ker
eal
l
ylaughs*
*

Hi
m:"
Ili
key
ourf
unnysel
f"

*
*Ir
aisemybr
ows*
*
Ataxi
arr
ives.Isaybyet
oNkany
ezi
andugeti
n
t
hetaxil
eavinghim.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ion

Iwouldreal
lyl
oveiti
fIcoul
dcomehomeand
fi
ndthisfl
atali
tt
lebi
twarm.Imeani
tsl
i
kea
mortuary
.Alwayscol
dIcantdeal
any
more.

AnywayIjustgothomeaf teralongday.Ihav
e
tosayeventhoughitwaslongandt ir
ing
Nkanyezimadeitagoodday .Don'
tgetme
wrongI'
m notfal
li
ngf ort
heguybutal it
tl
e
att
enti
onhereandt herei
samazi ng.

Nkanyezii
shotguysIdon'tev
enwanttofool
y'
al
l.Heistal
l
,dar
k,hasthosefadecut
sbuthi
s
i
smor eelegantandSEXY.Hehasthiswal
kthat
j
ustscreamsLOOKATME.Lookatmebusy
dr
eamingaboutani ggaIj
ustmet.FYIhei
sno
whereclosetobeingasecur
it
yguardoraphara.

Igotomyroom undr
essandgeti nt
othe
shower
.If
ini
shdrymy sel
flot
ionandwearmy
matchi
ngshor
tandtoppy j
amasitskindofhot
.
I
'mjustgonnacooksomepast
abecauseIhav
e
beencrav
ingit
.

.
..
..
..
.

I'
m goi
ngtosleepyohitsbeenal
ongday.Just
asI'
m openi
ngt hecov
ersmyphoneri
ngs.
Ilookatthescr
eenandit
sanumberIdon'
t
recogni
sebutkeipi
ckitup
Me:
"Hel
l
o"

Cal
l
er:
"Hi
Qini
siwe"

Me:
"Uhm whoar
eyou"

Cal
l
er:
"Hawi
tsmeNkany
ezi
"

Me:
"Ohkwhatdoy
ouwant
"

Cal
l
er:
"Ij
ustwant
edt
osaygoodny
t"

Me:"
OKgoodny
tuhm wher
edi
dyougetmy
number
"

Cal
l
er:
"Ihav
emyway
s"
"
Mmh"

***
Isaythatt
hent
her
eiscompletesi
lence.No
onespeaksandhei
sjustbr
eat
hingheavil
y.*
*

Me:
"Uhm Nkany
ezi
sengi
cel
aukl
alamanj
e"

Cal
l
er:
"Ohsor
ryl
alekahl
eNkosazana

*
*Igi
ggleandthenIendt
hecall
.Isetmyal
arm
f
or6o'cl
ock.Thankgodi
tsFr
idaytommorow.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t2
"
"Rr
rrr
rrr
rrr
"

OMGIseriouslycannotdealwit
hthisalar
m.IfI
di
dn'
tlov
emyphoneIswearIwoul djustt
hrow
i
tatthewallandleti
tcrash.AnywayIjustwoke
upit
ssevenocl or
k.

IgetintheshowerandI'm outi
namat terof
twomi nutes.Idr
yandlot
ion.TodayI'
m opti
ng
foraredt i
ghtboobtubedressbelowtheknee.
Myr edskyhi ghheel
sandsomer edli
psti
ck.Ti
e
myy akiintoabunandthenI'm of
f.
.
..
..
..
..
.

Justgottowor
kandy ohthecomplementsIgot
today
.Um nowinmyof fi
ceunti
lI
'm di
stur
bed
bymyphoner i
ngi
ng.Ianswerwit
houtchecki
ng
whoitis
Me:
"Qi
nisi
wehel
l
o"

Hi
m:"
Mmhhi
"

Me:
"Hey"

Hi
m:"
Ukhul
umanoNkany
ezi
unj
ani
?

Me:
"OhI
'
m goodwenaunj
ani
"

Hi
m:"
Per
fectnowt
hatI
'
vehear
dyourv
oice"

Me:
"okayl
ookIgott
ogo"

*
**Idr
opt
hecal
lbef
orehesay
ssomet
hing
more.Thedufejustmakesmeev enmore
i
nsecure.Imeanheissohot.Heshoul
dbe
chasi
nghotyell
owbonegirl
s.Notabi
mbol i
ke
me.**

Befor
eIknowi tI'
m crying.If
eel l
i
keI'm gonna
haveapanicattack.Idomybr eathi
ngexercises
andIfeelmyselfcalmingdown.Igot hr
oughmy
bagandtakeoutmyant i
depr
essants.Theyhel p
medeal wit
hmydepr ession.
I'
m nowcal m so
l
etmegobackt owor k.
.
..
..
..
..
I
tsknockof ftimeandmygi rlsjustaskedmet o
gooutwi t
ht hem.Veleitsf
reakyFr i
daysowhy
not.AndohIgotanot i
fi
cati
onf rom thebank
notyf
yingmet hatIjustGotPay edBitches.So
toni
ghtwear edrinki
ngandf orgetti
ngour
miserabl
elivesoohIcannotwai t
.
LedByLov
e
Cont
inuat
ion

Thobi
:"Gal
sheshawear
egonnabel
ate"

**Thobii
ssuchani
mpatientper
sonshenever
wantstobelat
e.Wel
ll
ikeIsaidwearegoi
ng
outtoday*
"

IhavetosayIlookhotlikereal
lyhot.I
'
m
wearingasissyboyj
umpsui tfr
om theboi
ty
col
lecti
on.Tiedmyy aki
intoamessybun.Idid
anaturalmakeuplook.Damngi rly
ouhot.

MyfriendsalsolookhotImeanwealwaysdo.
That'
sbecausewecanaf f
ordt
olookgood.
ThobiisalsoaCAbutshedoesn'tworkwith
me.Zinzii
sal awyerandNomhleisafi
nanci
al
advi
sor.TheyallhavecarsandIdon' t
.Not
becauseIcan'taffor
doneitsjustthatIdon'
t
havemyl i
censey etbutum gett
ingitsoonbest
bel
ieve.
.
..
..
.

Wej
ustgott
othecl
ubLI
TVI
LLE
andi
tispacked.I
'
veneverseensomanyhot
ni
ggasinoneroom.Andthegirl
sal
sol
ookhot.

Wegot oourt
ablewit
chhasbeenr eservedfor
us.Wesett
ledownandt hedri
nki
ngst ar
ts.
Damnwear edri
nki
nglikether
eisnot
tommorow.Wealwayshav eali
mitthough
becauseWOdon'twanttobetoodrunk
becausewesti
ll
havetodrivehome.

Myf
avor
it
esi
ngWi
l
dThoughtst
art
spl
ayi
ng
(si
ngi
ng)"
"Idon'tknowifyoucantakei
t.Iknow
youwannaseemsnakednakednaked, Iwanna
beyourbabybabybabywi l
dwildt
houghts
whenI'
m wit
hy ouallIgeti
swildt
hought"

I'
mt wer
king.Thissongjustmakesmel osemy
mindIswear .If
eell
ikeI'
mt werki
ngon
someonebecauseIf eelli
kemyassi snumbing
onsomet hi
nghar danditsnotmygirl
sbecause
theyint
hev i
bejustLikeme.Thet hi
ngsDJ
khaledmakesusdo.It urnbackandsomeguy
i
sbusylookingatmel i
keI'
mf r
eepizza.

Hegr absmyassIkeept el
l
inghimt ostopI m
screaminghei spul
l
ingmet oanotherdir
ection.
Mygi rl
sarehav i
ngfunt
heycan'tseethatI'
m
bei
ngassaultedbysomebr okeassni gga.I'
m
cry
ingnextthingIknowtheguyisont hef l
oor
fol
lowedbysomepunches.
Me:
"Nkany
ezi
stoppl
ease"

*
*theguyi
sbleedi
ngnextt
hingIknow*
*"Bha"
"
Bha"*
*gunshot
sarebei
ngfir
ed.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t3

Isweart heI
sibayadramaj ustoccurred.Idon'
t
knowwhof i
redthatgunbutev eryoneisr unni
ng
outoft hecl
ub.Nkany ezii
sdraggingme
outsidetohi
scar .Wear eli
ter
all
yr unningheis
pull
ingmebyf or
ce.

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
Ican'
tl
eav
emyf
ri
endsLana"
**Hei
gnoresme.HeopensaBMW x6OMGi t
s
hi
scar.Heshov esmeinandclosest
hedoor.
Hedoesn'
tenterbuthelockst
hecarandgoes
backi
ntotheclub.*
**

I
'
m nowcryi
ng.Whati sgoi
ngon.Af
tersome
t
imeNkanyezicomesbackandgetsinthecar
t
hencl
ickshistongue"NX"

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
wher
ear
emyf
ri
ends"

Hi
m:"
Ihadsomeonet
aket
hem home

**Hesay
sitl
i
kehi
sannoy
edy
ohi
tsbestIshut
up**

Ican'
tst
opt
het
ear
sfr
om f
all
i
ng.Ij
ustwant
ed
tohav eagoodt i
met hat'
sall
.Inearl
ygotr
aped.
Irememberwhenmygr annygotrapedinf
ront
ofmeandIdon' tknowwhatIwoul dhavedone
i
ft hathappenedtome.

Ican'tst
opthetear
sI'm snni
fi
ngandeat i
ngmy
snot.I'
mthi
sclosetohav i
ngapani cattackbut
Itr
yt ocont
rolmysel
f.Nkanyezican'tseethat
I'
m adeppresedbimbo.Yoh.

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng

*
*Hei
gnor
es*
*

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
pleaset
akemehome"

Hi
m:"
Qini
siwei
fyoudon'
tshutupIswearIwi
l
l
sl
apt
heki
ngshi
toutofy
ou"

Ikeepquietandkeeponcr y
ing.Wefi
nnal
y
reachsomedest i
nat
ion.Heopensthegatewi
th
aremote.LikeIsai
dthisisnotahousei
tsa
desti
nati
on.

I
'veev enstoppedcryi
ngngeket hi
shouseis
doingwonder s.Iwonderwhosehouset hi
sis
becausei tcan'
tbeNkanyezi
's.Hecan'
t
possiblyownt hi
shouse.Yohitshugeitcoul
d
fi
tthewhol eofUmgungundlov u.

I
'
m notbei
ngdr
amat
ict
hishousei
shuge.

Wegetoutoft hecar.Heopensthedoor.And
yohthei
nsideifthi
shouse.NgekeSbali
thisis
heav
enstraight.Hepull
smebymyhandt othe
bedr
oom.

Hi
m:"Thi
smyr
oom t
akeashowerweneedt
o
t
alk"

Me:"
Nkany
ezi
I'
ll
uset
heguestbedr
oom'
s
bat
hroom"

Hi
m:"
Youar
enotaguest
,nowshowerweneed
t
otal
k"
LEDBYLOVE

I
nser
t4

Li
kethegoodgi
rlt
hatIam Igoti
ntheshower
anddidmybusi
ness.
Ij
ustgotoutoft
heshowerwr
appedi
nat
owel
gotmyhandsonmyhi
psdon'
tknowwhatt
o
wear.

Ther
eisagownont opofthebedI'
m guessi
ng
Nkanyezi
putItt
here.Iunwrapthet
oweland
l
oti
on.GodIsmellsomanl yIsmell
goodbutI
smell
manl y
.Iwearthegownandgo
downstai
rs.

Ican'tfi
ndNkany ezianywhereandI '
m now
l
ookingf orhi
m.Act uall
yum sear chi
nggi rhi
m
butinthisbigasshouse.I m goi
ngt hrough
everyroom ti
llIf
indhimi noneroom i tsortof
l
ooksl i
keagy m.Ther earegy m equipment s
andapunchi ngbag.

Nkanyezii
spunchi
ngthebaglikei
tsnobody
's
busi
ness.Hesbreathi
ngheav
ilyandheis
sweati
ngbutdamnt heni
ggalooksfi
neashell
.
Me:
"Nkany
ezi
u..
hm ..
you.
.I'
m done"

**Helooksatmeandf orsomer
easonI'
m shi
t
scar
ed.First
lyI
'
m atahousewit
hamanIdon' t
know.Amanwhol ooksscar
yasshi
tYoh..
**

Hecomescl oserandt akesmyhandandwe

exi
ttheroom.Het akesmet othel
oungeand
wesitdown.Hei slookingatmeandimfi
ddl
ing
wit
hmyf inger
sthisniggascaresme.

Hi
m:"Qini
siwewhyar
eyouact
ingl
i
kea
pr
ost
it
ute

Me:
"huh"
Him:"
Qini
siwejustanswert
hef
ucki
nquest
ionI
hater
epeatingmyself
."

Me:
"Nkany
eziIj
ustwant
edtogooutwithmy
f
ri
endsIdi
dn'
tknowthatwasgonnahappen"

Hi
m:"
Sowenashaki
ngyourassf
orusel
ess
meni
syouri
deaoff
un"

**
I'
m nowcr
yingt
hisni
ggai
nti
midat
esme
st
rai
ght*

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
pleaset
akemehome"

Hi
m:"Qi
nisi
weI'
m sorr
yifI'
m scari
ngyoubut
whenIsawthatdudetouchi
ngy ouIj
ustl
osti
t"
*
*Ohkaywhati
sthi
sni
ggasay
ing*
*

Him:"
Ilov
edy oufr
om thev er
yfi
rstdayIsaw
youandIdon'
tli
kesharing.Whetherit
smy
moneycarsandevery
thingespecial
lymy
woman.What'smineismi ne"

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
butI
'
m noty
our
s"

*
*Hechuckl
es*
*

Him:"l
i
stenI
'm notver
ygoodwhenitcomest
o
expr
essingf
eel
ingsbutIknowt
hatIlovey
ou
j
ustgivemenogi v
eusachance"

.
..
..
Ledbyl
ove
Cont
inuat
ion

**Wear enowl ooki

ngateachother.Thisisone
thi
ngIhat e.Ihatei
twhenaguyt el
lsyout hey
l
ovey ou.First
lyIdon'
tknowhowt olove.The
onlypersonIhav eeverl
ovedwasmygr anny
andshedi ed.Herdeathmademenotbel ievei
n
l
ove.Whyme? ***

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
no.Whymewhy
??

Hi
m:"WhynotyouQi
nisi
weIl
ovey
ouj
ustl
et
meInyourhear
t"

Me:"Nkanyeziwhatyoufeel
ingisnotl
ovei
ts
l
ust.I'
veneverdonethi
sr el
ati
onshi
pthi
ngbutI
knowwhenI '
m bei
ngmadeaf ool
"
**Igetupandgotohi sbedroom.Icry.I
tst
art
s
offslowandthenitgetsl
ouder.Isob.The
panickatt
ackstar
tsI'
m breathi
ngheav i
l
yoh
shitIcan'
tbr
eath.
*

Nkany
ezi
comebar
gingi
nther
oom

Hi
m:"
HeyLookatmebabycomedown"
"

*
*Myheadisnowonhi
schestandf
orsome
r
easonIf
eelsaf
e**

Helooksmest raighti
ntheey
eI '
m al
solooki
ng
athi
m.Ourf acegetcloser
.Ourli
pstouch.We
ki
ss.Apassionateone.Amoanescapesf rom
mymout h.
hei stouchi
ngohshitthi
sfeel
sso
magical
.
IstopwhenIremembert
hatI'
m naked
underneat
hthi
sgown.Helooksatmeand
fr
owns.

Me:
"It
hinkIshoul
dsl
eepnow"

Hi
m:"
Yeahsur
e"

Igeti
nthecov
ersandheal
sodoes

Me:"
AiboNkany
ezi
takeashowery
oust
ink
ai
bo"

**webothlaugh.Hegoestot heshowerand
showers.Aft
ersomemi nuteshecomesout.He
wearshisboxerandgetsinthecovers.
Hecuddl
esmef
rom behi
nd.Andheki
ssesmy
neck

Hi
m:"
Goodni
ght
"

Me:
"Ni
ght
"

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou"

*
Ikeepqui
et*

Him:
"Youcanatl
eastsayi
tbacksoIcansl
eep
t
ight
"

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
itst
oosoon"
Hi
m:"
Ohkaybutj
ustknowt
hatIl
ovey
ou"

*
Isi
gh*

Heholdsmet ightfrom t
heback.Idon'tknow
whatthisi
sbutIknowIwanthi m.Iwantallof
him.Ifeel
safewithhim.Hel ov
esohatl east
that
'swhathesay s.I'
m gonnagiv
ethisliv
e
thi
ngashot .Whoknowsmay beheismy
happil
yeverafter
.
.
..
.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t5

I
'
m wokenupbysomet
hingpoki
ngmy
but
t.
Nkanyezii
ssti
llholdi
ngmet
ightandIt
hink
i
tshispeni
sthat
'spokingme.

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
yourt
hingi
spoki
ngme"

*
*Hechuckl
es*
*

Hi
m:"
Goodmor
ningt
oyout
ooHoney
"

Igetupandgotot
hebat
hroom.Iwashmyf
ace
andrinsemymout
h.
Igobackandheisupandstr
etchi
ng.Hi
speni
s
i
sfir
m.Ilookati
tandshyback.

Him:"Youdon'
thav
etobeshy
.Youwi
l
lgeti
t
soonerorl
ater
"
Me:
"Ai
sieswena"

**Hecomescl oserpecksmyl i
psandgetsin
thebathroom.Imaket hebed.Igodownstai
rs.I
am starv
ing.Iopenthestoveandmakebreak
fastfort
hebot hofus.Hecomesdownandwe
eatinsil
ence.

Wef ini
shandthenIwasht hedishes.Igo
upstair
sandleavehi
m.I '
m di
sturbedbymy
phone.Icheckthecal
leri
dandi tsZinzimy
best
ie.

Me:
"Heygal
"

Her:
"Ar
eyouokay
"
Me:
"I
'mf
inewena?
"

Her
:"y
eahul
aphi
"

Me:"I
'
m atNkany
ezi
'
srememberIt
oldy
ou
abouthi
m"

Her:
"yeahhi
sfr
iendst
ookushomel
astni
ght
"

Me:
"Real
l
y?"

Her:"Heactual
l
yorderedthem t
ot akeust
oa
saferpl
ace.Yohthatguycanthrowamean
punchanditwasallbecauseofy ou"

*
*wel
augh*
*
Me:
"Fr
iendhesay
shel
ovesme"

Her:
"yeahIknowIsawi
tinhi
sey
es"

Me: "
I'
m scared.Whatifhejustwantstosleep
withme.I'
veal wayshadlowselfesteem and
I
'vealwaysfeltugl
y.Nowall ofasuddenahot
guyli
keNkany eziwantstobewi t
hme"

Her
:"
justgi
vehi
m achance"

Me:"Zi
nziI'
m scared.I
'
m soi nsecur
eIcan'
t
gi
vehim whathewant s.I'
mt ooimperf
ectand
heisli
kethi
sperfectcreat
ure.Whyme?Zi nzi
I
j
ustwanttogoawayIcan' tdeal any
more"
Her:
"GalNkanyezil
ovesy
ou.St
opt
his
nonsenseyakho."

Me:"Youwoul dn'
tunder
standyouhavenever
l
ivedadayi nmylif
e.You'
veneverbeen
depressed.You'
veneverf
eltugl
yyoualldon'
t
understand"

**
Ihangupthephone.Itur
nbackandfind
Nkanyezi
bythedoorlooki
ngatme.Hecomes
cl
oserandopenshisarms.Isobi
nhisarms.
He
br
ushesmyback" Sshhh"
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t6

Myheadisonhi
schest
.Myarmsar
ehuggi
ng
hi
sbody.Thi
smomentri
ghther
emakesme
f
eel
saf
e.Li
kenoonecant
ouchme.

Hi
m:"Ineedy
out
otr
ustme.Iwon'
thur
tyou.I
l
ovey
ouandImeanthat
.

**
Ilookathim wi
tht
earsi
nmyeyes.Theyf
all
.
Hewi pest
hem andIl
ookdown.

Hi
m:"
Qini
siwepl
easel
ookatme"

*
*Il
ookathi
m**

Him:"
Pleasej
ustgi
vemeachancengeke
uzi
sol
e"

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
I'
venev
erdonet
hisbef
ore"
Him:"Babyther
eisafir
sttimeforever
ything.I
l
ovey ou.Il
ovedyouthefir
stdayIsawy ou.
Wheny oucall
edmeaphar aandthenyou
cal
ledmeasecur i
tyguard"

*
*Igi
ggl
e**

Il
ookatt hisfi
necreati
on.DamnNkanyezi
is
hot.Idon'
tknowwhathewant sfr
om mebut
whateveritisI
'm wi
ll
ingtogiv
eittohi
m.Idon'
t
careifIgethurti
ntheendbutv el
e"YOUONLY
LIVEONCE"

ME:"
Nkanyez
iIwoul
dreal
l
ylovei
tifwecoul
d
t
akethi
ngssl
ow.Mypaceyouknowandnot
r
ush"
*
*Hepi
cksmeupandspi
nsmear
ound*
*

Hi
m:"
Thanky
out
hanky
out
hanky
ou!
!!
!

Me:
(Laughi
ng)
"Nkany
ezi
putmedown"

**Heput smedownandl ooksint

omyey es.We
kiss.Apassionatekisswi t
hourtonguesdoing
allthetal
king.Thisri
ghthereismagical
.Icoul
d
doi tever
yday.Beinginhisarms.Myl i
psonhis.
Ourt onguesineachot her'
smouthseven
thoughi m st
il
linexper
ienced**

Hi
m:"
Hav
eyouev
erki
ssedaguy
"

*
*Ishakemyheadno*
*
Hi
m:"
Icant
ell
"

Me:
"HawNkany
ezi
am It
hatbad?
"

Hi
m:"
Noi
tsj
ustt
hatIcant
ell
."

*
*If
oldmyar
msandl
ookathi
m**

Him:"
Yousocut
ewhenyou'
remad.AndI'
m
gonnahav
ealotoff
uncorr
upt
ingyou"

*
*Ismi
l
e**
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t7
Amont
hlat
er

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

IhavetosayIreallyloveQini
siwe.Sheisreall
y
beauti
fuleventhoughshedoesn' tbel
i
evet hat
sheis.Ihavetosayt hefi
rstthi
ngthatcaught
myey ewasherass.Shehasabodyt odief or
butshestil
ldoesn'tbel
ievethat.

Ihavebeenwi thalotofwomeni nthepastbutI

havetosayt hatsheisoneofaki nd.Idon'
t
normallydothisrel
ati
onshipthinganditsal
so
myf i
rsttime.I
'm notavirgi
nbutIjustpref
err
ed
tojustfuckwithnostri
ngsat t
ached.That
changedwhenImetQi nisiwe.

Thef
actt
hatshewasr
oast
ingmewhenwe
metjustmademel oveherevenmore.I
've
neverhadani
ssuewi t
hwomenbutwi thherit
waskindofdi
ffer
ent.Shereal
lydi
dn'
tli
keme.
Mostoftheti
mesIwoul dhavewoment hrow
themselv
esatme.

Iwouldhav epussygivent
omedai lyonasilv
er
plat
terbutwithQini
siweit
sadiffer
entst
ory.I
l
ov eherandI'm wil
l
ingtochangeforher
.She
doesn'ttr
ustmeandIwantt omakesur ethat
sheev ent
uall
ydoes.

Letmei ntroducemy sel

f.Mynamei sNkany ezi
Mt het
hwa.I 'm 28y earsold.Ihave4br ot
hers
Luthandowhoi sol derthanme.Nkoseny ewho
i
smyt wint henMt hunziandMsi zi.Theyaremy
brother
sandf riendsatt hesamet i
me.Iam an
ITspeciali
stbutt hatisj
ustaf ront.Iam a
gangster.Notj ustausual gangsterbuta
pr
ofessi
onal
one.

Wedontdopi ecej
obsbutwedor ealhi
gh
payi
ngjobs.Myf ri
endscal
lmeScarmai nl
y
becauseIhaveascaronmyar m whichIgot
whenIwasst abbedbysomedickhead.Don'
t
worryabouthi
m Iburi
edhim al
i
ve.

Thethingisimr uthl
ess.Idon'tknowhow
Qini
siweandIar egonnawor k.Idon'
tli
ke
beggingandshel ookslikethetypethatli
kesto
bebegged.I feseqal
aukungi bhedel
a
ngiy
ay i
thel
ai mpama.IloveherandI '
m will
ing
tochangef or

Iam Nkany
ezi
Mthet
hwaandt
hisi
smyst
ory
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t8

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

MeandNkany eziaredoingamazi ngl

yper f
ect.I
canfi
nal
lysay'Il
ovey outoo'.I
tsbeenhar dbut
i
tsbeenfun.I
'vegottencomf ort
ablearoundhim
andIhav
egot t
ent ounderstandhim mor e.

Hedoesn'tnormallysmil
eorl aughinpubl
iche
onl
ydoesi twhenwear etoget her
.Hespeaks
sofondl
yofhi sbrother
swhoIhav en'
tmet.He
i
sanI Tspecial
istandher eal
l
yi sl
oaded.Idon'
t
car
eabouthi smoneybecauseImakemyown
butIj
ustlovespendingtimewi thhim.

Heisr
eall
yfunnybutv
eryov
erprot
ect
iveatt
he
sameti
me.Somet i
mehesuffocat
esme
becauseheal
way swantsmetobewithhim or
hecall
smeev er
y15mi nut
estochecki
fI'
mf ine.
I
tsreall
yfr
ust
rat
ingbutI'
vegot
tenusedtoit
.

We'vebeendati
ngforamont hsandwesti
ll
haven'
thadsex.Ist
il
lgetf
lashbacksf
rom t
hat
daymygr annygotr
aped. .
Ij
usthavetotel
lhi
m andIguesshewi
l
l
under
stand.
.
..
..
..

Meandzi nzi
aregoi
ngshoppi
ngtoday
.I
seri
ousl
ycannotwai
t.Fi
nal
lyacal
lcomes
thr
ough

Me:
"Bi
tch"
Her:
"Ai
bowher
ear
eyou"

Me:
"Atmyf
lat
"

Her:
"OkayI
'
m comi
ngov
er"

Webothdropt
hephoneandaf ewmi
nut
es
l
atert
her
eisaknockonthedoor

**
Iopent
hedoorFYIIhav
en'
tevenbathedand
Zi
nzii
sher
elooki
ngli
keshej
ustbathedin
mil
k**

Her:
"Hel
l
oMr
sMt
het
hwa"

*
*Igi
ggl
e*"
"
Yassgal
"

*
*Wel
augh.
**

ItakeashowerandIwearabl acktor
nhi gh
waistedjeanandanoffshoul
dershir
twhi chI
tuckedin.AndthenIworemyPumacr eepers.
Tiedmyweav eint
oamessybunandt henwe
areoff
.
..
..
..
..
.

Wehav ebeenhere(MallofAfri
ca)for3hours.
Justshopping.Whentheysayshopt i
lly
oudrob
theyref
erthattousbecausethat'
swhatwej ust
did.Appar
entlyNomhleandThobi arebusyso
i
tsjustmeandZi nzi
.
Wearenowatsomecheesyr
est
aurantit
s
Zi
nzi
'
sfavor
it
esoIhavenosaywhatsoever

Her:
"Sot
ell
meaboutNkany
ezi
"

*
*Bl
ushi
ng"

Me:"Oohgalheissoamazing.Inevert
hought
I
'deverlov
eamant hewayIloveNkanyezi
.
Ever
sincemygrannygot.
..
"

Her:
"Ev
ersi
ncey
ourgr
annygotwhat
??"

Me:
"Not
hinguhm l
et'
sor
der
"

*
*Shegi
vesmet
heIdon'
ttr
usty
oul
ook*
Wejustor
der
edandnowwear
eeat
ingi
n
si
l
ence.

Twoguy
scomet
oourt
abl
eandt
heysi
twi
thus.

Guy1:
"mynamei
sNat
hiandt
hisi
smyf
ri
end
sphe"

Us:
"Hi
"

Nat
hi:
"uhm whatdowecal
lyoubeaut
if
ul
l
adi
es"

Zi
nzi
:"I
'
m zi
nzi
andt
hisi
smyf
ri
endQi
nisi
we"
Sphe:
"Youl
adi
esar
ebr
eat
htaki
ngl
ybeaut
if
ul"

Us:
"Thanky
ou"

**
Theychil
lwit
hus.Theyarer
eal
l
yfunnyt
hey
cr
ackjokesandwelaugh.
**

Nathi
saysajokewhi sper
ingi
nmyearandthen
Il
aughreal
lyhard.Ir
aisemyheadandmyey es
meetNkanyezi
'sbythedoorlooki
ngatusl
i
ke
hewantstokil
lus.

Ohshi
tit
sboutt
ogetr
eal
.
..
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t9
Hecomescl
oserwi
thhi
shandsi
nhi
spocket
.I
qui
ckl
yst
andup.

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
"

Hei snotl
ookingatmebutheisl
ookingat
Nathili
kehewantstokil
lhi
m.Nathi
st andsup
too.Theyarenowlooki
ngateachot
her .The
stari
ngcontenti
sreal
.

"
Takey
ourbagandl
et'
sgo"Nkany
ezi
say
s

"
Zinzi
andIar
enot
..
."

Hegivesmethemostdeadl
iestst
are.It
ake
ev
er y
thi
ngt
hat'
smineandIfoll
owhim.Hei s
walki
nginf
rontofmeandtosayI'
m scared
wouldbeanunderstat
ement
.Wefinal
lyr
each
hiscarandthi
sti
mehedoesntopenthedoor
formelikeheusual
l
ydoes.

Igeti
nt hecarandhedr i
vesoff
.Thereisso
muchtensioninthecaryoucouldbreakitwi
th
anaxe.Heopenst heradionandpl
ays
Maskandi.Heoncet ol
dmet hatMaskandi
hel
pshimt ocalm downwhenhei spissedI
guessthisi
soneoft hosemoment s.

.
..
..
..
.

Wejustarriv
edatNkanyezi'
shouse.Icar
rymy
shoppingbagsandgetinthehouse.Igotothe
bedroom andputthebagsther
eandhegoest o
thegym probabl
ytopunchthebag.
Iwai
tandwai
tandst
il
lnoNkany
ezi
.It
akea
showerandwearashor
tandhi
sT-
shi
rtand
thengodownst
air
stocook.

Icookri
ceandbeefst
ew.Ihavet
osaythe
Aromacouldwakeacorpsefr
om t
hedead.
Trut
hisngi
yal
ishay
aibhodwe.

Thef oodisnowr eady.Igot othegymt ocall

Nkany eziandhisisnotthere.Igotohisoffi
ce
andhei sn'tt
here.It
hengot othebedroom and
Icanheart heshowerr unni
ng.Iwaitforhim
andthenhecomesoutwi that owelwrapped
aroundhiswai st
.

Il
ookathi m.Thi
sniggaisf
inengeke.Those
abs.Hisdarkski
n.AndInoti
ceascaronhi s
arm anditmakeshimlookextr
ahot.
Hi
m:"
Qini
siwe"

*
I'
minmyzone*

Hecomescl
oserandsnapshi
sfi
nger
sand
t
henIcomebacktoreal
i
ty

Hi
m:"
Stopdr ool
i
ngIknowI'
m hotbutpl
ease
st
opmolest
ingmewithyoureyes"

**
Ismi
l
eandIal
soseeasmi
l
ecr
eepi
ngon
hi
m*

Me:
"Uhm Iwant
edt
osayt
hatsupperi
sready
"

"
Ngy
eza"
Igodownst
air
sanddishupforthebot
hofus.
Hecomesdownstai
rsandhedigsin
NkanyeziandIal
wayshavesomet
hingt
alk
aboutbuttoni
ghtai
angaz.

Ithi
nkIshoul
dapologi
sebutwhatfor.Nathi
andSphewerejustbei
ngcoolt
oust hat'
sitbut
Iwouldal
sobepissedifgi
rl
swerebeingcozy
tohim.

It
ryt
obr
eakt
hei
ce

Me:
"Uhm Nkany
ezi
what
'
stheweat
her
t
omorr
ow"
(
Hel
ooksatmewi
thoneofhi
sbr
owsr
aised)
Hi
m:"
Angaz"

*
Ilookdownandcont
inueeat
ing*

Hef
ini
sheshi
sfoodf
ir
standt
henl
ooksatme

Hi
m:"
pleasecanIhav
esomemor
e"

Me:
"Sur
e"

*
*Idi
shupandgi
vei
ttohi
m**

Hejustfinishedeati
ng.Itaket
hedishesand
washt hem.Hei swatchingSoccer
.Ifi
nish
washingt hedishesandIGot ohi
m.
Me:
"Nkany
ezi
I'
m sor
ry"

*
*Hedoesn'
trespond*
*

Af
tersomet
imehespeaks

Hi
m:"
What
'sonet
hingIhat
e"

*
*Il
ookathi
m**

Hi
m:"
Qini
siwengi
yi
sli
may
in?
"

Me:
"No"

Him:"
Stoptr
eati
ngmelikeone.Iaskedy
oua
quest
ionnowfucki
nganswer"
Me:
"Y.
o.uuh.
.hm y
ouhat
eshar
ing"

Hi
m:"
andwhatel
se"

Me:
"Andr
epeat
ingy
our
sel
f"

Him:"
GoodsoI '
m gonnatel
lyouthi
sonceand
I'
l
lneversayitagai
n.IfIev
erseeyoubeing
cozywiththatfool
oranyguyexceptmet r
ust
meuzowukhombaonot shwalauhearme"

*
*Inodandt
henhest
ands*
*

Hegoest
owar
dst
hest
air
sandt
henhest
ops
Hi
m:"
AndohI
'
m al
sosexual
l
yfr
ust
rat
ed"

*
*Myey
espop*
*

Hecomesoutaftersometimedressedina
bl
acktor
njean.AwhiteTeeandadenimj acket
andsomesneakers.Whereoneart
histhis
ni
ggagoingat22:
33.

Me:
"Uy
aphi
?"

*
*hel
ooksatme*
*

Hi
m:"I'
m goi
ngt
omybr
otherNkoseny
e'shouse
j
ustt
ochill
"

Me:
"Thi
slat
e?"
*
*Hel
aughsandt
hencomescl
oser
**

Him:"I
'
m notgoi ngtoanot herwomani ft
hat'
s
whatyouthink.IloveyouandImeant hatbut
ri
ghtnowmyBPi sveryhighandIdon'twantto
dosomethingI'l
lregretbecauseyoureall
y
pi
ssedmeof ft
oday "

Me:
"Nkany
ezi
Isai
dI'
m sor
ry"

*
*Heshut
smeupwi t
hakiss.I
tlast
sforsome
minut
est
il
lwebot
hcan'
tbreat
h**

Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bebackhopef
ull
ytomor
row"

*
*At
earescapesf
rom myey
e.WhydoIf
eel
l
i
kehei
sgoi
ngt
oanot
herwoman*
*

Heexit
sandIwaitbyt
hedoor
.Heget
sinhi
s
caranddr
ivesof
f.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t10

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

I'
m nowdr i
vingt oNkoseny e'shouse.Ihaveto
sayQinisi
wer eal
lypissedmeof ft
oday.Iknow
shedidnohar m butthethoughtherbei ngcozy
withanothermanj ustmakesmeangr y.
Especial
lyi
ft hatmani sNathi.

YesIknowhi
m.Thet
hingi
shi
sfami
l
ywas
i
nv ol
vedinthemurderofmypar ent
s.Wehave
alwaysbeenenemies.MybrothersandIdon'
t
wanttokill
them j
ustasyetwewantt omake
them suf
ferfi
rst
.Butkethat
'sforanot
herday
.

.
..
..
..

Ij
ustar ri
vedatNkosenye'
shouseandIcantel
l
ukuthi
t hi
sniggaishavi
ngaparty.Ai
lomji
ta
uyabuthandautshwala.

Allmybrother '
scarsarehereyoheven
Luthando.Ailizodumanamhl anj
ephelau
Luthandoislikeourbossngamany eamazwi.
Hedoesn'ttakeshi tf
rom nooneandhej ust
l
ikesquietnessnjengobakugqomanj e.

Ient
er
Me:
"Maj
i
ta"

Them:
"HOLA!
"

Me:
"What
'swi
ththenoi
sevel
e"Igocl
osert
o
t
her
adi
oandtoneitdown"

Lut
hando:
"Ai
wasi
zaawehl
i
sengempel
a"
(
Itol
dy'
al
l)

Nkoseny
e:"
Aiy
inndodawaphansi
nje"

Me:"I
lenj
aewuNat
hihe'
sbusygoi
ngaf
termy
gi
rl
"
Lut
hando:
"Si
mubonani
niv
eleuMankosi
"

"
Soon"i
saysmi
l
ingGodIl
oveQi
nisi
we

Mt
hunzi
:"Kwenzekeni
vel
e"

"Qini
siwewentoutwi t
hherf r
iend.Itr
iedcall
i
ng
butshewasn'tpicki
ngupandt henIwent
l
ookingforher.AndthenIfi
ndherl aughingwith
Nathiandhim busywhisper
inginherear .Yoh
bruhIlosti
t"

Lut
hando:
"Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tbeatt
hepoorgi
rl
"

"
I'
m sur
ehedi
d"si
yabongasay
s

"
Unf
ort
unat
elyIdi
dn'
ti
nst
eadIbeatt
he
punchi
ngbag.
"

"Whydi
dn'
tyouf
uckherbr
ainsout
"nkoseny
e
says

"Ai
bobr
uhwenott
her
eyet
"Isaybr
ushi
ngmy
hai
r

Theyall
lookatmeandt
heyj
ustbur
sti
nto
l
aughter

Them:
"wwaahhhhhhhhhhh!
!!
"

"
Aif
usegNi
na"IsayandIpickabeerf
rom t
he
t
abl
eopeni
tandgulpitdown.

"
Someone'
sbal
l
sar
ebl
ue"si
yabongasay
sand
ev
ery
onel
aughs

"Soi
tsbeenamont
handnopussy
"lut
hando
says

JustasI'm aboutt
oanswert hedoorbellr
ings.
Nkosenyegoest oopen.Hecomesbackwi th9
gi
rlswhoar einGstringsandbras.Itakei
tthey
arestr
ippers.OhshitIgethar
dinstantl
y.

Onegi
rlgoesandputsaCDintheDVD.Herass
Br
uhIswearIwantedtoeati
t.
TheyplayRihannas'
sworkandthentheyst
art
twer
king.Onecomest omeandst ar
tstwer
king
formeshitmydi cki
salr
eadyhard.

Theseni
ggasgotsmil
esonthei
rfacesfuckI
swearboot
yandpussymakestheseniggas
happy
.

It
snow02: 21andthegirl
sarebusymakingout
withuswatchi
nglikefool
s.OhitsNkoseny
e's
I'
m si
nglepart
y.Iswearthi
sniggaiscr
azyhe
sayswhatishegonnadowi thonepussy
for
everaidon'
taskme.

Oneoft hegir
lspull
smyhandandt akesmet o
thebedroom.Ohshi twhatam Idoing.Weget
thereandshestartski
ssingme.I'
m already
hard.Shetakesoffmyj eansandthenmyj acket
andmytshi rt
.Justasshei sabouttotakeoff
myboxer smyphoner ings

Il
ookatthecal
l
erIDandit
smybaby
.Ist
opt
he
gi
rlandpi
ckupthephone
Me:
Heybaby
"

*
*shesni
ff
sgodIhat
eitwhenshecr
ies*
*

Me:
"Babywhyar
eyoucr
ying"

"Nkanyezi
kant
iawubuy
iyi
n"shesay
sand
snif
fs

".BabyhawIt
oldy
out
hatIl
lcomeback
t
omor r
ow"

*
*Thestr
ipl
ercomesandput
sherar
msar
ound
myneckandstar
skissi
ngme

Str
ipper:
"BabycomeIwantt
otast
eyour
ight
now"
**ohshi
tQi
nisi
weisst
il
lont
hel
i
neandI
'
m sur
e
sheheardt
hat.
**

"
Myl ov
eit
snotwhaty
outhi
nk"Isayasi
m
t
ryi
ngtowearmyclot
hes

*
BeepBeepBeep*shehangsup

LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ion

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Iknewi
twast
oogoodt
obet
rue.Nkany
ezi
is
j
ustli
ketherestoft
heni ggas.Onl
ywant
sone
t
hing.PUSSY.Washepl ayingme?Didhereal
l
y
l
ovemeorhewasj ustplayingme?

Howcoul dhedot histome.I '

vefi
nal
lyfound
someonewhoIl ove.Whol ovesmeforme.
WhoI'm comf ort
ablearound.Iwasgonnahav e
sexwit
hhi m butIwantedust ot
alkf
ir
st.How
coul
dhedot hi stome.

Ir
emembermymot her
swor ds."
Nomanwil
l
everl
oveyou.Theywil
lfuckyouandl
eav
eyou
j
ustli
keyourfat
herdi
d"

Ican'
thel
pit.Icr
y.I
tst
art
soffsmal
lbutIcan'
t
helpt
hescreams."WhykodwaNkanyezi
"

I
'
veal
way
sbeenhur
t.Igethappyf
orashor
t
peri
odoft i
meandthenI '
m backt osquareone.
Whathav eIdonesobadt hatIalwaysfeelt
his
muchpai n.Noonelastsi
nmyl i
fe.Fi
rsti
twas
mygr annyandnowi t
sNkany ezi
.Kanti
ngenzanivele.

Ican'
tdeal
witht
hispai
nI'
m notafight
er.Al
l
mylif
eI'
veranawayfr
om thi
ngsthathurtme.I
havenowhereel
setorunanymore.

Igodownst
air
stot
heki
tchen.Igr
abakni
fe.
It
akeanot
ebookandapen.

ToMydear
estNkany
ezi

Mychocol
atemooseIl oveyousomuch.Ilove
yousomuchIcan'thelpit
.Whatyoudi
dhur t
meNkanyezibutIunderst
andwhy.I
'm acurse.
Idon'tdeser v et obelov ed.I'm apr oductofr ape.
Mymom gor apedandhadme.Shehat edand
drankherl i
fe.Fuckeddi ff
er entmenAndt hen
herboy friendr apedmygr annyi nf r
ontofme.
ThatiswhyI '
v ebeenscar edt ohav esexwi th
you.I'
m scar edt hatyou'llhurtmel i
ke
Sphiwe( theguywhor apedmygr anny )
.
Nkany ezi Iforgiveyoubecausey ouhady our
reasons.Youwer esexual l
yf rustr at
edj ustl i
ke
yousai d.Kodwawhyt hisNkany ezi.You
shouldn'thav eleftyoushoul dhav el i
stenedt o
mei nsteadofwal ki
ngout .I'
m notbl ami ngy ou
thoughI 'vealway swant edt odi e.Whyshoul dI
stayint hisawf ulworld.Wher et hepeopl ewho
saytheyl ov ey ouhur tyout hemost .Il
ov eyou
Ny ambose.Mychocol atemoose.Mycr azy
nigga.Ilov ey ouNkany ezi Mthet hwa.

.
..
Igoupst air
stothebathr
oom.Ifil
li
nthetub
withcoldwat er
.Igeti
nandIcutmywr i
st.I
startofslowlywit
hali
ttl
ebloodcomingout.I
deepent hecutsandBloodstar
tsoozi
ngout.

Thewat
erhaschangedit
scolour
.It
snowr
ed.I
feel
mysel
fgett
ingweakerandweaker
.

"
Ilov
eyouNkany
ezi
"

*
Icl
osemyey
es*
.
..
..
..
..
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t11

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE
I'
m dri
vinglikeafuckinmaniac.Iwanttoget
homeasi nnowsoIcanexpl ai
ntomybabyt hat
whatshehear ddi
dn'thappen.Yesitnearl
ydid
butitdidn'
t.Ifeelsobadr i
ghtnow.Iknowhow
i
nsecureshei sandIj ustmadeitworse.All
becauseofsomehoe.Imessedupmy
rel
ati
onshi pwithmyQueenf oraoneni ght
stand.Eish!
.
..
..
..
.

I
'
vef
inal
l
yar
ri
vedhome

"
QINI
SIWE!
"

Sheisnotinthel
oungebutIcanseesomet
hing
onthetabl
e.Igoclosert
othetabl
eandi
tssort
ofalet
ter.
Ir
eadi
t.Ohshi
t!
!

"
QINI
SIWE!
"

IGOupstair
sandsheisnotinthebedr
oom.I
gototheensui
tebat
hroom andsheisj
ustl
yi
ng
ther
einthebat
htubf
ullofbl
ood.

"
Qini
si
we"

Igoclosertoherandf eel herpul

se.It
sst i
l
l
therebuti
tsweak.Shecutherwr i
stsandt he
bloodissti
l
lcomi ngout .IknowifIcallt
he
ambulanceitwillt
akef orevertogetheresoI
pickherup.Igodownst ai
rsandtakemycar
keys.Goout, getint
hecaranddr ivetothe
hospit
al.
Ical
kmybr other
sandaf terthatIlookatmy
Pret
tywomanwhomi ghtl oseherlif
ebecause
ofme.BecauseIcouldntcont r
ol mydi ck.My
motherwouldbesodi sappointedinme.I 've
fi
nal
lyfoundapersonIlov eandwhol ovesme
formeandnotmymoneybutIf uckedshi tup.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Ijustarr
ivedatt
hehospi
tal
.Ipi
ckherupand
rushinsi
de.

"
HELP!
'

Thenursescomer ushi
ng.Sheget
sputina
str
etcherandtakentogodknowswhere.Iget
cal
ledtotherecepti
ontofi
ll
inmedical
aid
i
nfor
mation.Nxfuckthi
sshit.Myloveisabout
t
oloseherli
feandtheseniggasonlycar
eabout
money.ButkeIfi
lli
nalli
nfor
mationandgot o
t
hewaiti
ngarea.

Ist
ayt
her
eandt
henmybr
other
scomer
ushi
ng
i
n

"Ndoda"Lut
handosay
s
Il
ookatthem andoutofnowher
ethetear
sfal
l
.
Il
ookdownandwi thmyarmsonmyt hi
ghs.
Lut
handocomescloserandbr
ushesmyback

"
Qinandoda"Lusay
s

Iwi
pemyt
ear
s
"I
tsal l
myfaul tguys.Iknewshewasi nsecure
butkeIhur therbruh.Whenwest ar
teddat ing
shet oldmet olethergoi fIwasgoingtohur t
herbuti di
dn't.Ifshedi esyoh.Ican'tleave
withouther.IloveherandI '
lldoanythi
ngf or
her"

Thedoct
orcomest
ousandIst
andup.

"
Arey
ouher
eforQi
nisi
weNkosi
"heasks

"
Yes"Isay

"
Andhowar
ey'
al
lrel
atedt
oher
?"

"
Well
that
'snonofy
ourfuckinbusi
ness.St
ayi
n
y
ourl
aneandsaveli
vesstopmeddli
nginmy
busi
ness"Isay

Helooksatmel
i
kehej
ustshi
thi
msel
f.Nx
pussyni
gga.

"Uhm Mi
ssQini
siwelostalotofblood.Weput
heri
nacoma.Ihav etosayitdoesn'tl
ookgood.
Wejusthav
etopr ayt
hatshewakesup"
Thedoct
orsay
s.

Ican'
thelpi
tmytear
sf al
l
.Ilookathi
m and
thenheleav
esus.Nkosenyegivesmeahug
"
Hadeboy
"
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t12
Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

I
tsbeentwoweeksnowandQi ni
siwehasn'
t
wokenupandt obeclearit
sbeenhel
l.If
ucked
upbigti
me.I '
m nowtakingashowerbecauseI
havetogot othehospit
al.Event
houghther
e
i
sn'tnodi
ffencebutbeingtheref
orherandwit
h
heriswort
hwhi l
e.

Ihavesomuchangeri nme.I '

m angryatmy self
forbeingsost upidandf all
i
ngi ntotempt at
ion.
Im angryatQinisiweforbei ngsosel f
ishand
notwai t
ingformet oexplain.Iwishshecoul d
wakeupsowecangobackt onor mal.Imiss
hersomuch.Imi sshersmi le.Imissherl augh
andhowshecov ershermout hwhenshe
l
aughs.Imi sshowangr yshewoul dbecome
whenheraf roisal l
overt heplace.Imi ssher
food.Imisshowhappyshewoul dbewhenher
favor
iteshowison.Imi ssherlayingherhead
onmychest .Imisshersmel l
.Imi ssher
wearingmyboxer sandt -
shir
ts.Imisshowshe
wouldsuddenlydancewhenherf avori
tesong
'
wildthought
s'plays.Imisshowshesang.I
misshercall
ingmeChocol at
emoosebecause
ofmycompl exion.
Ohshi
tImissQi
nisi
weIwi
shshecoul
djust
wakeup.

.
..
..
..
.

Ij
ustfi
nishedshower i
ngandI '
m nowwr apped
i
nat owel.Dontknowwhatt owear .Mostofthe
ti
meQi ni
siwewoul dpickcl
othesformebutke
si
ncesheai n'
taroundIhavetodoi tmyself
.
Ifi
nall
yoptforablackadidastracksui
twit
h
bl
acksneakers.Il
ookatmy sel
finthemirr
or.
GodIlookbad.Inowhav ebear dbecauseI
haven'
tbeenshaving.I
'v
ebeensowor ri
ed
aboutQini
siwethatIdon'
tev encareabout
myself.

Igodownst ai
rstakemycarkey sandGo
outside.I'
m dri
vi
ngt hex6todaybecauseit
s
Qinisiwe'
sfavori
tecar.Shelovesbigcar
sand
yohshei sinlovewiththi
scar .Theri
dei
sprett
y
depr essi
ngbecauseIcan'ttakemymi ndofft
he
Qinisiwemat t
er.
.
..
..
..
..

Igettot
hehospi
tal
andf
indmybr
other
s
al
readyt
her
e.
"
Hol
a"

Them :
"sho"

Weal
lgot
oherward.Igocl
osertoherli
ke
al
way
sIki
ssherf
oreheadandIholdherhand.

"
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dwakeupnow"Isay

Nkoseny
ecomescl
oser
"Pl
easewakeupmybrot
heri
sdepr
essedandI
sti
l
lneedhimtohol
dmyhandwhenIget
marri
ed"hesay
s

Wealll
augh.TrustNkosenyet
ocr
ackaj
oke
wheneveyt
hingisgoingbad.
"
Ubaongashadanawe"Isay

"Phel
aMinangiy
itshi
tshi
uyazi
nawe
amatshi
tshi
areindemand"hesays

Weal
ll
aughandIshakemyhead.

Andt henther
eismovement.Qi
nisi
wei
s
shif
ti
ngherbodyIstandupandnowmy
brot
her sandIar
elooki
ngather
.

Andf
inal
l
yshe.
..
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t13
Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Itryt
oopenmyey esbutIfai
l.Itryagainand
theyslowl
yopen.Myvisi
onisblurred.Icl
ose
myey esandopenthem agai
n.Myv i
sionis
getti
ngbacktonormalandIfind10ey es
l
ookingatmel i
kearar
emi neralorsomeshi t
l
ikethat.

It
sNkanyeziandItakeitt
hatthesear
ehis
brot
hersbecausetheseni
ggaslookali
ke.I
scantheroom andOhshit!I
'
m atthehospi
tal
.
Nkanyezical
l
st hedoct
or.

"
missNkosiI
'm gl
adyou'
reawaketel
lmehow
manyf
inger
sdoy ousee"t
hedoctorsay
s

Mxm doest
hisni
ggat
hinksI
'
m cr
azy
.
"
Uhm 4"

Okay

"
Doy
our
ememberwhatbr
oughty
ouher
e?"

IshakemyheadIr
ememberbutI
'
m notsur
e

"
Yout
ri
edt
ocommi
tsui
cide"hesay
s

Irememberev eryt
hing.Iremembert hegir
lin
thebackgroundsay i
ng" comebabyIwantt o
tast
ey ou"
.IrememberhowNkany ezibr
okemy
heartaft
erItoldhim howf ragi
l
eIam.I
rememberhowheoncet ol
dmehewoul dnever
hurtmebutt hat'
sonet hinghedid.
Il
ookatNkanyeziandmytear
sf al
l
.Imissmy
granny
.Shewouldknowwhattodoandwhatt o
saytomakethispai
ngoaway.Im depr
essed.
I'
vebeendepr
essedbefor
eImetNkany ezi
.He
mademebel i
eveinlov
eandaftert
hathehurt
me.

"I
'dreal
l
ylov
eiti
fyoucoul
dseeat
her
api
st"t
he
docsays

"
Itakeant
idepr
essant
sI'
mfi
neIdon'
tneeda
t
herapi
st"

"
Iwon'
tfor
cey
ou.
..
"

Ii
nter
rupthi
m.
"I
fyoudon' tmindI'
mt i
redIsti
nkandI'
m
starv
ing.Idon'thavetimet obedi
scussi
ngmy
personalli
fewithstrangers.I
'
m depr
essedI
knowt hatandIhav ethatundercont
rolasf
ar
asI'm concerned.
"

Isayt
hatandt
ear
sfal
l

"NowIdon'
tneedyout
obeacti
ngl
ikey
oucar
e
butwhenshi
thit
sthef
anI
'
ml ef
tal
one.
"

Thedoct
orapologi
sesandI'm nowl
eftal
one
wit
hNkanyezi
andhi sbr
others.

"
CanIbeal
onepl
ease,
?"

Theynodandexi
ttheROom exceptf
or
Nkany
ezi
.

"
Qini
si
we.
."

Ir
aisemyhandsi
gnal
l
inghi
mtoshutup.

"
Nkany
ezi
ngi
cel
auphume"

Hel
ooksatme.Il
ookaway

"
OkayI
'
lll
eav
ebutwest
il
lneedt
otal
k"

Mxm

HeleavesandIcr
ymyeyesoutunt
ilIf
all
asl
eep.Iwokenupbymyfr
iends
"
Higuy
s"Isay

Them :
"Hi
gir
l"

Il
ookatt hem andZinzihasgott
earsinher
eyes.Fi
nall
yshecries.Shecomestomeand
hugsme.Zi nzii
sli
keasi st
ertome.Ihaveto
saysheismyf avori
tefri
end.

"
WhyQi
nisi
we?
"

Ican'
tutt
erawor dIjustcr
yandt
henev
eryone
star
tscryi
ng.Wehugandt henIr
ememberthat
isti
nk."
Guy sIst
ink"

Weal
ll
aughandt
heyl
ookatme.
"Iwi
l
ltel
lyou
whenI
'
mready
".
Theynod.

Zi
nzihel
psmeupandt othebathroom.They
br
oughtmet oi
l
etr
iesandPJsandi t
saboutt
o
bedi
nnerti
me.Yohguy sI
'
m st
ar v
ing.

Ishowerandaftert
hatIcomeoutfeeli
ngand
smell
ingfr
eshashell.IwearmynewPJsand
gotomyf r
iends.Wet al
kandtal
kti
lli
tsti
mefor
them t
ogo.Wehugandt heyl
eave.

Thenursebri
ngsmef ood.Ieatandaskf
or
anot
herplat
eandshegi vesi
ttome.Ieatand
shecomestot aket
heplate.

Iopenthecovergetinandthi
nkaboutmyl
if
e.
I'
vebeenthr
oughal ot.I
'
vecri
edalotmor
ethan
I'
velaughed.Iputonasmi leonmyf acet ohide
thepainIfeelinside.Nkany ezii
snotther eason
Itr
iedt oki
l
lmy self
.I'mlonelyeventhoughI '
m
surroundedbypeopl e.
whenmygr annydieda
partofmedi ed.Imi ssmygr anny.Imissy ou
GertrudeMletiy ouwer ealwaystherefor.Iwish
youwer ehere.

Icl
osemyey
est
omor
rowi
sanot
herday
..
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t14

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

"
Gogo!"Ir
untowar
dsher.If
inal
lyr
eachherand
wehug.Weholdontoeachotherf
orsomet i
me
j
ustbei
ngineachot
hersarms.Wefinal
l
ybreak
thehugandsheki
ssesmyf
oreheadj
ustl
i
ke
always.

"
GogoImi
ssedy
ousomuch"Isay

"Awmtananam I
'
m al
way
sther
efory
ou"she
says

"Gogopleasedon'tleavemeanymor
e.Iwantt
o
bewi t
hyouwher everyougo.Il
ovey
ouGogo
pleasedon'
tleav
eme. "Isay

"Mybabyi t
snoty ourti
me.Justknowi m always
withyouinyourheart.Stopthiskill
i
ngy oursel
f
madnessy ouhaveal ottoli
v efor.Qini
siwe
stoppushingpeopleaway .Stopbei ngafrai
dof
l
ov e.Ther
earepeopl ewhol ovey ousomuch
they'
lldoanyt
hingtoprotecty ou.Thatmani s
yourprot
ect
or.Hewil
ldoany
thingf
oryou.
Forgi
vehim weal
lmakemist
akesandhealso
madeone.Iloveyoumybaby"shesay
s

Sheget
supandlooksatmeandt
henshe
st
art
swalki
ngaway.

"
Gogopl
easedon'
tgo"Icr
y

Shekeepsonwal ki
ng.I
'
m cr
yingandIfeel
li
ke
someoneisshakingme.Iopenmyey esand
theyf
indNkanyezi'
s

"
Youwer
ehav
ingani
ght
mar
e"hesay
s

Iwasdreamingbuti
tfel
tsor
eal.If
eltherbody
onmine.Herarmsaroundme.
.Thekissshe
gavemeonmyf or
ehead.Whatshesai
dabout
notbei
ngaf
rai
doflove.

Outofnowher eIfeelthetear
sonmycheeks
astheyfal
l.Isoblouderandlouderti
l
lIcan'
t
br
eath.All
t hi
sti
meNkany ezi
isholdi
ngme.

"
ShhQi
nisi
wei
twasal
ladr
eam"hesay
s

"
WhymeNkany ezi.Whydidshehavetol
eave
meinthi
scruelworl
d.Nkanyezi
I'
mtir
edIjustI
wantt
osleepandneverwakeup"

"
Babydon'
tsayt
hat
,youhav
emenj
e"hesay
s

Icr
ylouder
.Nkany
ezican'
thelpme.Hewil
llov
e
meforsometimeandthenleavemejustl
i
ke
ev
ery
bodydoes.

Icryagai
nthisti
meheget si
nbedwithmeand
holdsmet i
ghtwit
hmyheadonhi schest
.Hi
st
shirti
sal
readywetf r
om myt
ears.Hehol
dsme
ti
ll
webot hfal
lasleep.
.
..
..
..
..
..

IwakeupandNkanyezi
isst
il
lhol
dingmet
ight
.
Iwi
gglemysel
foutofhi
sarmsandhewakes
up.

Wesiti
nawkwardsil
encef
orsomet
imeandhe
f
inal
l
ybreakst
heice

"Thedoct
ori
sdi
schar
gingy
out
omor
row"he
say
Inod

"
Qini
si
wenot
hinghappened"
hesay
s

"NkanyeziIdon'
tcar
eanymore.Idon'
tcarei
f
youfuckedherornotbutmeandy ouarenotan
i
tem anymore"Isay

"Babypl
easeIdon'
twantt
obr
eakup"hesay
s

"
Nkany
ezi
canIbeal
one?
"Isay

"
Babydon'
tpushmeaway
"Hesay
s

"
Nkany
ezi
Ican'
tdot
his.I
'
m acur
se.Myown
motherdi
dn'twantmeandwhywoul
dyou.
AcceptwhatI'
m say
ingNkany
ezi
wewerejust
notmeanttobe"Isay

Hel
ooksatmeandIcanthel
pbutcr
y.
Heget
soutoft
hebedandwear
shi
sshoes.

"
Iwi
l
lfet
chy
out
omor
row"hesay
s

"
Nkany
eziZi
nzi
isf
etchi
ngme"Isay

Hel
ooksatmecl
enchi
nghi
sjaw.
Henodsandgoest
owardst
hedoor
.Andturns
t
olookatme.Hehashi
shandsi
nhispocket
s.

"
Asmuchasy
ouwon'
tbel
i
evemeIl
ovey
ou
Qini
siweandIhopet
heyonedayy
ou'
l
lreal
i
se
t
hat"Hesays

Heexi
tsleavingmetorn.AsmuchasIl ov
e
Nkany
eziIcan'tbewit
hhi m.YesIlov
ehim but
someti
meswheny oul
ov esomeoneyouhave
tol
etthem go.Icanst
il
lloveyouandnotbe
wit
hyou.

I
tiswhati
tis
.
..
.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ion

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive
IswearI'venev erbeent hisheartbrokeninmy
l
ife.Especiall
ybyagi rl
.Aibobaf et
huIj ustgot
dumped.Mi naNkany ezi MthethwaIgot
dumpedbyagi rlshocaset heworldiscomi ng
toanend.

I'
m nowdri
vi
ngtomybigbr
oLuthando'
shouse.
Ij
ustneedsomeonet
otal
kto.
.
..
..
.

Ij
ustarr
ivedatLuthando'
shouseandI '
m si
tt
ing
i
ntheloungedrinki
ngabeer .Hecomesdown
andgoest ot
akeabeeri nthefr
idge.

"
Kwenzenj
ani
?"Lut
handoask

"
AiIj
ustgotdumpedmj
i
ta"Isay
Hel
ooksatmeandshakeshi
shead

"
Youdounder
standherr
easonsr
ight
"hesay
s

"IdobutIdon't
.Imeanwecanwor kthi
sout.
Shecangot otherapyandgetall
thehelpshe
needsandI '
l
lbebyhersideall
thetime.Il
ove
herIreal
lydo.AndIknowy '
al
lmightnotbeli
eve
mebutIdo.I '
veneverl
ovedagirll
ikeIl
ove
Qini
siwe"Isay

*myheart
sbr
eaks.Ican'
tcr
yinf
rontof
Lut
hando*

"
Eishinki
ngalengobasheisdepr
essedandno
matterwhatyousaytohershewon'
tbel
iev
e
you.Hermindisal
readymadeup.Andyou
f
uckedupbycheat
ing"Lusay
s

"ButIdi
dn'
tsl
eepwi
tht
hatgi
rl
.Weonl
yki
ssed"
Isay

"
Wel
lshedoesn'
tknowt
hat
"
.
..
..
..
.

Ichil
ledwithLut
handoforsometi
meandits
now23: 45andI'
m nowgoinghome.Iwasso
tempt edtogotothehospi
tal
butIst
opped
my self.
.
..
.

I
m nowhomej usttookashowerandI'
m
gett
ingr
eadyforbed.Ihav
en'
tfuckedany
onein
l
iketwomonthsandt r
ustmeit
sbeenhard.I
j
ustgavemy selfahandj
obi
ntheshowercoz
br
uhindl
alaayidlal
i
.

IwanttocallQi
nisi
weandt el
lherI
'
mf et
chi
ng
herfr
om thehospit
alwhethershel
ikesi
tornot
.
FuckitI'
m cal
li
ngherIhopesheisnotasl
eep
phel
ai t
s00:34now.

Ical
lherandi
tringsandr
ings.Shepi
cksup
aft
erthe4thr
ing.

Her:
"Nkany
ezi
ebusukukanj
e"

Igi
ggl
e

Me:
"Whyar
en'
tyouasl
eep"
Her:
"ngi
yat
hakat
ha"

Il
augh

Me:
"ngi
kthandaut
hakat
haunj
alo"

Shegi
ggl
es

Her:
"Uf
unani
Nyezi
Iwantt
osl
eep"

*
*Ismi
l
eBr
uhIl
ovei
twhenshecal
l
smeNy
ezi
*

Me:"
Qini
siweI'
mf et
chingyout
omor
row
whet
heryouli
keitornot"

*
*shekeepsqui
et*
*
Me:
"Uy
ezwa"

Her:
"Asf
ri
ends"

Me:
"wi
thbenef
it
s"

Her:
"Uy
adakwa"

*
*Il
aughandshel
aughst
oo.
*

Me:
"Okayl
alamanj
est
handwaSam "

Her:
"Nkany
ezist
opcal
l
ingmet
hatI
'
myourex
f
orgodssake"
Me:
"Keept
ell
i
ngy
our
sel
fthat
"

Shehangsup.Ismi
l
eli
keaf
uckenr
etar
d.

Ohbef
oreIf
orgetIhav
etomakeacal
l
.

Me:
"Ski
tozzi
shap"

"Showbozzaai t
hisf
ooldoesn'
twantt
ospeakI
don'tt
hinkheknowsbuthesaidsomethi
ng
aboutMasiyabeingt
heoneaf t
ert
hediamonds"
hesays

Me:"
okayatl
eastwegott
henamenowki
l
l
hi
m"

"
Shobozza"hesay
s
"Cel
aningangi
bul
ali
"theguypl
eadsi
nthe
backr
ound

*
*BHABHABHA!
!!
**

gunshot
sar
efired.Thef
ool
isdead.NowIneed
togoint
oki
llf
orcesoIcanfi
ndmydi amonds.

Igeti
nthecov
erscl
osemyey
esandsl
eep
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t15

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive
Ij
ustwokeupandIhav etosayIsleptprett
y
well.Af
terthattal
kIhadwi t
hLuthandoI'm
gonnatrybyal l
meanst ogetmywomanback
andbet hereforhereverystepoftheway .I
'm
al
soget ti
ngsomewher ewheni tcomest o
fi
ndingthediamonds.Thatcoachr oachDellsis
outofthewaysonowi t
stimetotakeoutt he
otherdi
ckheadsbutf i
rstl
yIhavetocomeup
withasolidplanandmeandmybr other
sar e
gonnadiscusst hatt
omor r
owwhenwemeet .

"Ail
etmetakeashower"IsayasI'
m stretchi
ng.
Igeti
ntheshoweranddomybusi ness.AsI '
m
showeri
ngI'
m al
sogiv
ingmy sel
fahandj ob.
Eishi
ndl
alaboy.

Ij
ustfi
nishedshoweri
ngsonowl etmecal
lmy
queenIreall
yneedtohearherv
oice.
I
tri
ngst
il
li
tgoest
ovoi
cemai
l
.It
ryagai
nandi
t
sti
i
l goest
ovoicemai
l
.FucknowI'
m pi
ssed.I
hateitwhenpeopl
edon'
tanswermyphonecall
.

It
ryheragai
nandthi
stimeshepicksup.
*I
si
gh*Inearl
ydr
ovetothehospi
tal
.

"Soveleawuyi
bambi
ngani
Iphone"Isayi
nan
annoyedtone.

"
SawubonanaweNkany
ezi
Mthet
hwa"shesay
s

"Qi
nisi
wedon'
tpi
ssmeof fwhyweren'
tyou
answeri
ngt
hephone"Isayshout
ing

"
Iwasbusyf
ucki
ngt
hedoct
or"Shesay
swhi
l
e
l
aughi
ng
Thi
sgi
rlt
hinksI
'
m pl
ayi
ng.

"Qi
nisiwetrustmey oudon'
twanttoseeme
angr
y .I'
l
lchopthatdoctor
'sdi
cktr
ustme"fuck
I'
mfumi ngr i
ghtnow.

"OohI '
m soscared.Lalel
aLA.I
'm notyour
gir
lfr
iendoroneofy ourhoessobhut iIdon'
t
fucki
nanswert oy ou.Yazi
ndon'
tev enfet
chme
uyangidinawenanx"shesay st
hatandhangs
up.

Qinisiwer eal
l
ydoesn' tknowwhoshei spl ayi
ng
with.Imi ghtloveherbutIwon' ttol
erateher
bull
shi t
.FuckI '
m soangr yri
ghtnow.Most ly
whenum angr yIfucksomebr ainsoutbutI
won' tbecauseI '
m sti
llt
ryingtogetbackwi t
h
Qinisiwesof uckingsomeoneel sewi l
ljustrui
n
thi
ngs.
Ij
ustgotdr essedandI'm nowgoingtot
he
hospit
al.I
'm dri
vi
ngt heBMW x6becauseI'
m
tr
yingtowar m Qini
siwe'hear
t.Iki
ndoff
eelbad
aboutearli
er.ImeanIblewt hi
ngsoutof
proport
ion.

Igettothehospi
tal
.Par
kmycarandgoto
Qini
siwe'swar
d.Igett
hereandf
indt
heshock
ofmyl i
fe.

Qi
nisi
weandt hisuselessdoctorar
ebusy
l
aughingl
ikelonglostfri
ends.Iswearmyanger
j
ustescal
etedtoawhol enewlevel
.

Igeti
nandlookatthem.Thedoctorst
ops
l
aughingandI'
mlookingathi
m br
uhIjustwant
toki
ll
t hi
sni
gga.
"Uhm Qinisi
wehav eanicetr
ipgoi
nghomeand
pleasetakeiteasyokay.Rememberi
fyouneed
anythi
ngI '
m herefory
ou"thedoct
orsays.

Ai
bol
omsunul
o.

"It
houghtyourjobwassav
ingl
i
vesandnot
bei
ngther
ef ormywoman"Isaylooki
ngathi
m
upanddown

"
I'
m sor
ryi
fthatcameoutdi
srespect
fulbutI
meanti
naprofessi
onal
way"thedoctorsays.

"
Wel
ll
etme.
..
"Qi
nisi
wei
nter
rupt
sme.

"Doct
ory
oudon'
thav
etoexpl
ainy
our
sel
fto
Nkanyezi
.Hecanbebitofabul
l
ysomet
imes
don'
tmindhim"shesays

"Iunder
standhav
eani
ceday"t
hedoct
orsay
s
andheleaves.

"Mxm umunt
uusej
way
elwaocheeseboy
s"I
say

"Someti
mesIwonderify
outhinkbef
orey
ou
tal
kNkanyezi
man"shesays.

Shepicksupherbagsandexits.If
oll
owher
andtakethebagsfrom her
.Wegett othe
parki
nglotandIseeherfacecurvi
ngasmi l
e.I
tol
dy'al
ltheX6wasgonnawar m herheart
.
"
Mycar
"shesay
s

"
Excuseme?
"Isayl
aughi
ng

"
AiboNy
ezi
youknowwhatImean"shesay
s.

Wegeti
nthecarandi
tbecomesqui
ett
hen
Kel
l
yKhumalo'
sThembasongsst
art
splay
ing

"
Umangi
bukesbukweni
Ngi
bonusi
zi
Nezi
nyembezi
Ican'
thel
pbutwonderhow
Suchabeaut
if
ulf
acegot
hroughsomuch
Andst
il
lsmi
l
e
Thembaawubul
ali
thembauy
aphi
l
isaukube
wawubul
ala
Ngabemadesaf
a"

Iguesst
hesonghitsherhar
dbecauseshe
star
tscr
yingandl
ooksoutsi
dethewindow.

"
Qini
si
wey oucant
alkt
omebabyI
'
m her
efor
y
ou"Isay

"WherewereyouwhenIneededy
ou"shesay
s
astearsf
alldown

*
Ikeepqui
et*

"
Youwer
ebusyf
ucki
nghoesangan"shesay
s
"
Babynot
hinghappened"Isay

"Nkanyezi
pleasenotnow"shesay
sandcarri
es
onwi t
hcryi
ngandlookingoutt
hewindow.

DamnIf
uckedup.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t15

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

IswearIreall
ywantt ofor
giv
eNkanyezibutI
can'
t.Il
ovehi my esbutIj
ustdon'
ttr
usthi
m
anymore.Hepr omisedmehewoul dn'
thurtbut
hedidjustthat.
Hef et
chedmef r
om t hehospit
al andheisnow
taki
ngmet omyf l
at.Ihavetosayt hedri
v ei
s
pret
tysadanddepressing.Kel
lyKhumal o's
songThembamadei tworse.Thatsongj ust
makesmeemot ional.Notmat terhowhar dItr
y
tobestrongt
hatsongj ustmanagest otakeme
backtosquar
eone.

"Doyouneedany
thi
ngatt
heshops"Nkany
ezi
asks

*
*Ishakemyheadno*
**
*
henods*
.
..
..
..
..
.

Wej ustgottomyfl
atandI'
m nowsettli
ngin
aft
ertwoweeksofbei ngaway.I
tfeel
slikea
newpl ace.DamnImissedmyspaceev en
t
houghi
tsst
il
lamor
tuar
ybutI
'
llmanage.

Nkanyeziisgetti
ngreadytoleaveandf orsome
reasonIdontwanthi mtogo.Buti fIreal
lywant
tobeov erhim Ihav
et ostayawayf r
om him.
Eishbutit'
sgonnabehar dphelathisguy
doesn'tgi
veupIt el
lyou.Painintheass.

"
Thanky
ouNkany
ezi
agai
n"Isay

"
YouknowI
'
lldoany
thi
ngf
ory
ou"hesay
s

"Nkanyezi Themomenty ouleavethatdoor

don'tcomeback.Meandy ouar edoneforgood.
Pleasedon' tmakethi
sharderthanital
readyis.
Theonl ythingI
'm meanttoloveismyjoband
notanot herhumanbeing.That'
swhatIt aught
my sel
ffrom ay oungage.I
tmemy sel
fandIso
pl
easeNy
ezij
ustacceptthatokay
."Isayt
ryi
ng
sohar
dtofi
ghtthetear
s.

Hel
ooksatmewi
thhi
shandsi
nhi
spocket
s.

"
Sot
hisi
sit
?"hesay

*Inod*

Hecomescl
oserandpecksmylips.Thengoes
t
owardst
hedoor,opensandexi
ts.

Iruntomyr oom andcry.Icr

yt i
l
ltherear
eno
mor et
earsleftt
ocry.Godwhydoest hi
shave
tobesohar d.Whycan'tyoujusttakemeand
sparemet hepain.Gogowhydi dy oul
eaveme
i
nt hi
scruelworl
d
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t16

TwoMont
hLat
er

Qi
nisi
we'
sPer
spect
ive

I
tsbeenat womonthsnowsi ncemeand
Nkanyezibr
okeup.I
tsbeenhar dbutnowI'
m
off
ici
all
yoverhi
m.Iblockedhisnumberandwe
haven'
tbeenincont
acteversince.

Iresi
gnedatMagebaaccountant
sandIfounda
newjob.Ial
somov edfr
om myf l
attoanew,bi
g
andverybeaut
if
ulf
lat.I
tsr
eall
yniceIt
ell
you.I
boughtacar.ABMW 2series.Sotobehonest
myl i
feisgoinggood.Mybestf r
iendZinziis
pregnantsoI '
m gonnabeanaunt ysoon.Sheis
2mont hspr egnantandIcan' twai tforherto
givebir
th.IlovekidsbutIj ustdon' twantto
havekidsmai nlybecauseoft heshi tt
hat
happenedt ome.Tobecl earIdon' twantmy
ki
dsgoi ngthroughwhatIwentt hroughI '
m
scared.I'
vealsobeent hinkingoff reezi
ngmy
eggsbutt hat'
sast or
yf oranot herday .
.
..
..
.

TodayI'
m goi
ngtoameet ingonbehal
fofmy
boss.Sheisr
eal
lyfondofmesoIguessshei s
groomingmeforthebusi
nessworldbecausei
n
twoorthreey
earsti
meI '
l
lstar
tmyownf ir
m.
I
'mt aki
ngashowernow.

Igetoutanddrymybody.Il
oti
onandt henopt
foradenim hi
ghwai
stj
ean.Adenim shirtand
tuckiti
n.Andblackskyhighheels.Idoa
naturalmakeuplookwit
hnudelipstick.It
igh
myweav ei
ntoamessybun.Spr aymyDESI RE
cologne.Il
ookatmy sel
finthemirrordamnI
l
ookgood.

Itakemycarkeysandgo.Themeet i
ngisi
n
sandtonatt
hei
roffi
ces.Idri
vether
ewhile
l
isteni
ngtoSZA.IswearIl
ovethatgi
rl
.
Shej
ustmakesmel
oosenup.
.
..
..
..

Ijustgother
eandy ohthi
sbui
ldi
ngi
shuge.I
ts
reall
ybeauti
ful
too.Igeti
nandgotothe
recepti
on.
"
HiI
'mfrom Smi
thaccount
antsandI
'
m her
efor
ameet
ingwitht
heboss"Isay
"
Youmeant
hebosses?
"Shesay
s

"
Huh?
"Iask

"You'
renotmeeti
ngonebossbutyou'
re
meetingal
lthebossesoft
hecompanyall
fiv
e
ofthem"shesays

*Inod*

Shepoint
smetoacouchwher
eIshoul
dsit
.I
gother
eandbecomebusyonmyphone.
ThenI'm di
sturbedmyt wopeopl etal
king.A
manandsomey ell
owbonegirlweari
ngashi r
t
reddress.Ican'tseetheirf
aces.Theyare
holdi
nghandsandt alki
ngandlaughing.
IswearIknowthatvoi
ce.Ibrushthatideaoff
mymi ndimeanwhatwoul dNkany ezi
bedoing
here.He'
sandITspeci
ali
standI '
m hereto
fi
nali
sethedealwi
thalogist
ickscompany .

Therecepti
onistcallsmeandt ell
smet he
bossesarereadyf orme.Shel eadstoanoff
ice
andIdomybr eathingexer
cises.Iknockand
geti
n.Iseethegi rlsit
ti
ngonacouchandshe
l
ooksatme.

Il
ookatt heguy s(bosses)andt heyalsolookat
me.ItsNkany ezi
'sbrothers.Thenifthi
ngs
coul
dn'tgetmor eawkwar d.Nkanyezicomes
outfr
om t hebalconyandget sinsidetheoffi
ce.
Oureyeslock.Damnhel ookssogood.Hei s
weari
ngasui t.Fir
sttimei seehim wearinga
sui
t.Hehasl ostweightbuthest i
lll
ooksgood.
Hehasabear deishbuthest i
l
llooksgood.
JustwhenIwasget
ti
ngov
erhi
mthant
his
happens.
.
..
..
.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t16

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Il
ookatherandshel
ooksatme.Mylordshe
l
ooksgood.Shegai
nedabitofwei
ghtt
houghI
guessshei
shappywit
houtme.

Shecl
ear
shert
hroat
"
Go.
.go.
goodmor
ning"shesay
s
"
Mor
ning"weal
lsay

Shecomescl
oserandsi
tsdownonanempt
y
chai
r.

"Uhm mynamei sQinisi

weNkosiandI'
m her
e
onbehalfofMRSSmi thfrom Smi
th
account
ants.Shecouldn'
tbeheresoshesent
me"shesay sstr
uggli
ngtomakeey econt
act
withus

"
Nicet
omeety ouagainQi
nisi
wel
et'
sgetdown
t
obusi
ness"Luthandosay
s

Wedi scusseveryt
hingbusi
ness.Damn
Qini
siwei ssmartandverypr
ofessi
onal
.You
cantellshetal
ksaboutwhatsheknows.We
askedquesti
onsandsheansweredlikeapro.
AndNkoseny ebei
ngNkosenyehekept son
cracki
ngj
okesandQi ni
siwewasjustsmili
ng
showingoffherper
fectt
eeth.
Icoul
dtell
thatshewasabituncomf
ort
abl
ebut
shekepthersel
ftoget
her
.

It
stimeforhert
oleav
eandAngel getsupfr
om
thecouchandcomestowardsus.OhlordIpray
shedoesn'
tsaysomeshitt
hatwillpi
ss
Qini
siweoff
.

"
HiI
'm Angel
,Nkany
ezi
'
sgi
rl
fr
iend"Angel
say
s
t
aki
ngoutherhand

Qi
nisi
wel
ooksatt
hehandandl
ooksatme.
Il
ookdownandsheshakesAngel
'
shand
"
I'
m Qi
nisi
we"
shesay
s

"Uhm t
hankyouall
f ory
ourtimeandI'l
ldr
afta
cont
ractandsendittoyou"Qini
siwesays

*
wenod*

Shel
ooksatAngel
andsmi
l
es

"Itwasni
cemeetingyouNkany
ezi
'
sgi
rl
fr
iend"
shesaysandchuckl
es.

IcanconcludethatQini
siwedoesntli
keAngel
.
Angelismygirlf
ri
end.Idon'
tloveherli
keIl
ove
Qini
siwebutIjustneededtobewithsomeone
whowi l
lhelpmef or
getaboutQini
siwebutit
doesn'
twork.Il
oveQini
siweandIdon'
tthi
nk
anygir
lcaneverrepl
aceher
.

"
Canweal
lgethugs"Nkoseny
esay
s

Qini
siwehugsev ery
oneandi tsti
mef orherto
hugme.Shecomescl oser.Iputmyar ms
aroundher.Imissedher.Shesmel l
ssogood.
Webr eakthehardandy ohmyhear tisbeati
ng
sofast.Shesmiles.

"
Goodby e"shesaysassheiswal
ki
ngtowards
t
hedoor.Yohmybabygi r
lhasgai
nedweight
t
hatassbruhItel
lyou.
Shest
opsbyt
hedoorandl
ooksatAngel

"OhNkanyezi
'
sgi
rl
fr
iendt
ell
yourmant
oshav
e
helooksl
i
keahobo"Qini
si
wesayswhi
l
e
smi
l
ing

EveyonelaughsandIl aughtoo.Sheexi
tsand
i
m smi l
i
ngl i
kearetard.Angellooksatmeand
cl
ickshertonguetakesherbagandexi ts.

I
fshethi
nksI'
m gonnafol
l
owherthenshehas
gotanot
hert
hingcomingcozI
'
m not.

"
YohQi
nisi
wel
ookshotboy
"Msi
zisay
s

"Iknowri
ght
.Shel
ooksl
i
keagoddess"Isay
smi l
i
ng

"theNkanyeziIknowdoesn'
tgi
veupsowhyon
eart
hdidyoulethergo"Lut
handosay
s
"Idon'
tknow"Isay

.
..
..
..
..
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t17

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

I'
ml i
ter
all
yrunningtomycar .Igett oitopenthe
doorandgeti n.Ican'thel
pitI'
m br eathing
heavil
yandIcan' tst
opt hetearsfrom f all
i
ng.I
endupsobbi nglouderandl ouder.Iwi pethe
tearsandstartthecarandgo.Wher eam I
goingyouask.Idon' tknowei t
herIj ustneedto
clearmyhead.
.
..
..
..

Ikeepondr ivi
nganddr i
vingtillI'
m atsome
destinationsortofwat erfall
lookingpl ace.Iget
outoft hecarandl ookatt hi
sf inecreationby
god.Ev eryt
hingissopeacef ul.Ikeepon
thi
nkingaboutt hatgirl
.Angel .Nkany ezi
's
gir
lfr
iend.Shel ooksr eal
lygood.Shehasf i
ne
skin.Aki ll
erbody .Nottoment ionthose
dimpl es.Shemakesmef eelli
keNkany eziwas
j
ustpl ayingme.Imeanl ookatmeandl ookat
Angel .Sheisawal ki
nggoddessAndher eIam
j
ustawast eofspace.

Thetearsjustkeepfal
li
nguncontroll
ably.Who
wasIfooli
ng.I'
m notoverNkanyezi.I
tsli
kehe
hasthi
sholdov erme.Ican'
tbeli
evehehasa
bear
d.Helooksl i
keahobobutasexyhobo.I
misshim.Ireal
lydobutIjustcan'
t.I'
m surehe
i
shappywi thAngel.Imeanwhowoul dwantto
bewi t
hme.Idon'tevenlovemy selfsohowcan
anotherhumanbeingloveme.WhydoIhav eto
gothroughall
theseemot i
ons.Ihav enoone.I
prayallt
heti
mebutIf eell
ikegodcov er
shis
earswheneverIpray.Whycan'thej ustt
akeme
i
nsteadofgivi
ngmepai naf t
erpain.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.

I
'm nowdr i
vi
nghomeaf t
erthatdepressi
ng
i
ncidentbutfir
stl
yIm goi
ngt oDebonairsfor
PizzabecauseIdon'tthi
nkIhavet hestr
ength
tocook.It
sal r
eadylat
eIspentlike4hoursat
thatpl
ace(wat er
fal
l
)andIsor toffoundsome
peace.Justlooki
ngatnature.

Igett
odebonai
rs.Ior
derandwai
t.It
akemy
pi
zzaandgohome.Igethomeandgost r
aight
tothebathroom.If
il
lthet
ubwithwater.I
m
havingabubblebat
hyohideser
veitgir
lit
sbeen
alongday .

.
..
..
..
.

Ispentalmostanhouri nthetub.Justl
osti
n
myt hought
s.I'
ml ot
ioningri
ghtnowandI '
m
gonnawearaonezy .Theweatherhasprett
y
muchchanged.I tevenraini
ng.SoIgusessits
mov i
enightpl
usI '
m notgoingtowor k
tomorrow.

It
akethepi
zzaanddigi
nwhil
ewat chi
ng
Ti
tani
c.I
tal
waysmakesmecr yandtonightI
'
m
i
nthemoodtojustcr
y.Myhearti
sheavy .

Iwat
cht
hemov
iet
il
l22:
45andy
ohI
'
m so
sl
eepy
.Igot
omyr
oom.Opent
hecov
ersand
sl
eep.

.
..
..

"
RRRRRRRRRRRRR"

IM wokenupbymyphoner i
nging.Whocould
becalli
ngmeatt hi
shour.It
s00:30aipeople
arecrazy.Itst
opsr
ingi
ngjustasI'
m pi
ckingit
up.It
sanumberIdon' tknow.Thenatext
comest hrough.

*YoublockedmynumbersoIhadt obuyanew
sim car
dsoIcansayHAPPYBI RTHDAYmy
queen.Iknowwearenolongertogetherbut
you'
llal
waysbemyQueen.Justwant edtosay
happybirt
hdayandIknowI'
mt hefi
rstoneto
wi
shy ouahappybi r
thday.Haveablessedday
ablessedmont h,yearandamazi ngl
if
e.
Missingy oul
oads.Callmei nthemorningpl
z
wheny ougetyourgif
t. HappyBir
thday
Lot
sofl
ovefrom yourki
ng,
yourchocol
ate
mooseNkany
ezi**

Ismileli
keafuckinret
ard.Iev enf
orgotit
smy
bir
thdaytoday.ButNkanyeziremember edand
yeshe'sthefi
rstonetowishi ttome.OMGI 'm
sohappy .I
decidetosendat extback

*
ThanksNy
ezi
**

Her
epl
i
esi
nst
ant
ly

*
Any
thi
ngf
ort
hel
oveofmyl
i
fe. *
Ishakemyhead.Thisniggahasagirl
fr
iend.A
hotgir
lf
riendandhekeepscall
ingmethelove
ofhisl
ife.Ail
etmesleep.Icl
osemyey esand
gotolalalandwit
hasmi l
eonmyf ace.

LedbyLov
e

I
nser
t18

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Wakingupwi thasmi l
eonmyf aceisnot
somethi
ngt hathappensalltheti
me.Butt oday
i
thappened.Ilookatmyphone.AndIhav e
Missedcall
sf r
om myf ri
ends.Messagesv ideos
andevery
thing.Ical
lalloft
hem backandt hey
wishmeahappybi r
thdayZinzievensingsf or
me.Whichmakesmehappy
.Whatawayt
o
st
artmyday.

Ther
eisaknockont
hedoor
.
"Comi
ng"i
say

Iopenandi tsthedeliv
eryguy .Het ell
smet o
si
gnandIdo.Het ellsmet owai tforamoment .
HegoesandIwai tbyt hedoor .Hecomesback
wit
ht womor eguy swithbigboxes.I 'mlooki
ng
atthem l
ikeWTF.Theygeti nsideandputt he
boxesinside.Healsogi v
esmeanot herbox
whichhewascar r
ying.

Ithankthem andtheygo.Iopent hefi

rsthuge
boxandi nsi
detherei
sahuget eddy bear.The
onesy oucansleepon.It
ssocut e.It
sredand
fl
uffl
yandv er
yv er
ybig.Atthebackoft he
Teddybeari
tswri
tt
enQini
siweMyqueen.I
knowforsur
eitwassentbyNkany
ezi
.

Iopenthenexthugeboxandi nsi
dethereisa
hugepictur
eofme.It sl
ooksasifIwasasleep
butitl
ooksreall
ycute.Ar
ti
sti
ctoo.Bruhthi
s
pi
ctureishuge.Insi
detheboxtherei
saal soa
pi
ceofpaper .It
akeitandit
swr i
tt
en
*I
'
m obsessedwi
thy
ouev
enwheny
ou'
re
sl
eepi
ng*

Ismileli
kereall
ysmileandt hennextthingI
knowt hetearsarecomingout .Tear
sofj oy
though.Thenlastl
yIopent hesmal l
boxand
i
nsideitthereisanote.**
IhopeYouLi keit
**
Idi
ginsidetheboxandt henIfi
ndthemost
amazingthinginsi
de.I
tsabook.AbookI've
beenwant i
ngf orl
i
keforever
.It
oldNkanyezi
aboutitbutitwasoutofstockatthet
ime.It
s
beenoutofstockeversi
nceandIdon'
tknow
howNkanyezigotit
.It
sbymyf av
ori
teauthor
BongekaThabetheandit
scall
edLEDBYLOVE.

I'
mjumpingupanddownOMGI '
m sohappy.I
can'
twaitt
oreadthebook.Inf
actI'
ll
readi
tnow
aft
erIcal
lNkany
ezitosaythankyou.

Idi
alhi
snumber
.Hi
sol
dnumberhenceI
unbl
ockedi
t.
I
tri
ngsandhet
henpi
cksupaf
tert
he4r
ing

"
Theonewhoownsmyhear
t"hesay
s

*
Igi
ggl
e**

"
HiNkany
ezi
.Ij
ustwant
edt
osayt
hanky
ouf
or
t
hegi
ft
s".Isay

"Li
keIsai
dany
thi
ngf
ory
ou"hesay
s

"
Bozzawozausef
iki
l
elomj
i
tha"someonesay
s
i
nthebackgr
ound

"LookQi
nisi
wegot
tagot
alkl
ater
"Nkany
ezi
says

Hehangsupbefor
eIcansayanyt
hing.Isigh
f
eel
inghear
tbr
okenIwant
edtotalkmor e.It
ake
t
hebook.Si
tdownandgetonwithit.

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Ihangupt
hephonecal
lIwashav
ingwi
th
Qi
nisi
weandgowi
thSki
toz.

Ifi
nal
lyfoundMasiya.Wef oundinMozambique
canyoubeliev
et hi
sfool
.Steali
ngfrom me.
NkanyeziMthethwa.Sur
elythisni
ggadoesn'
t
knowme.

Wegetinsi
detheroom wher
ethisni
ggaishel
d.
Heischai
nedtoachairandheispassedout
.
Gotbl
oodalloverhi
sbdy.

ITakeabucketofcol
dwaterandpouri
tonhi
m.
Hewakesupandbr eat
hsheavi
ly

"Well
wellwel
l.I
fitisn'
tMasi
yat
hebr
avest
bit
chniggaonearth"Isay
"Nkany
ezipleasedon'
tki
llmebrahIbegy
ou.I
haveakidrememberplease"hepl
eads

"FokofBi
tch.Youdidn'
tthi
nkabouty
ourki
d
wheny ouweresteali
ngmydiamondsri
ght
?"I
say

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m sor
rypl
easef
orgi
veme"hesay
s

"We'l
lpl
ayagame.Iaskaquest
iony
ouanswer
.
Siy
ezwana?"Isay

*henods*

"
Wher
ear
emydi
amonds"Isay

"
Theyar
einmymot
her
ski
tchent
her
eisapl
ant
t
her
etheyar
einsi
det
hepot
plant
"hesay
s

"
Howmanydi
dyout
ake?
"Iask

"
Ionl
ytook49"hesay
s

"Howcomebecause250di
amondswer
e
stol
en"Iask

"Idon'
tknowbutIt
ook49"hesay
s

"
Whoel
sewer
eyouwor
kingwi
th?
"Iask

"Beast
,Ghost,
Taps,
Phil
aniandsomeot
her
guysI'
m notsurewhobutTapsknowst
hem"he
says
*
Ishakemyhead*

"MasiyaItr
ustedyou.Ihel
pedyouwhenyou
hadnothingandnowy ouhavethenerv
eto
steal
from me.Iwasgonnagi v
eyouashareof
themoneybuty oudecidetobeabit
chand
steal
from thehandsthatf
eedyou.
"Isay

*Ispi
tonhi
m andstar
tpunchi
nghi
m onhi
s
stomacht
il
lhecoughsbl
ood.*

AndIcal
lmybr
otherMsi
zi

"
Shobaf
o."Hesay

"
Sho49di
amondsar
eatMasi
ya'
smot
her
's
house.I
ntheki
tcheni
napotpl
ant.Ifyoudon'
t
fi
ndthem ki
l
levery
oneint
hathouse."Isay

"Andi
fIdo?
"Heasks

"Ki
ll
ever
yonest
il
l.Thatwil
lteacht
hesef
ucker
s
nottomessnoNy ambose"Isay

HehangsupandIwai
tforhi
scal
l
.
.
..
..
..
About30mi
nut
esl
ater
.Msi
zical
l
sIpi
ckup

"
Baf
o"Isay

"
Shobaf
oIf
oundt
hem 49i
ntot
al"hesay
s
*Ismi
l
e*

"
Nowki
l
lev
ery
one"Isay

**
BHABHABHABHABHABHABHABHA
BHA!
!*
*

"DONE"hesay
s

Webot
hhangupandIgobackt
othi
sfool
.

"ThanksIfound49ofmydi amondsandki l
l
ed
yourf
ami l
yandI'
llki
l
l t
herestoffucker
sy ou
wereworkingwit
hal ongwiththei
rfamil
ies".I
saysmil
ing

*hel
ooksatmewhi
l
ecr
yingl
i
keabi
tch*
Ismi
l
etakeoutmygunandpoi
nthi
m wi
thi
t.

"
Seey
oui
nhel
lbi
tch"Isay

"
Plea.
..
..

BHABHABHABHABHABHABHABHABHA
BHA BHABHA!
!!

Iempt youtal
lmybull
etsonhi
m.12bullet
sin
total
.Igot49diamondsnowIneedtofi
ndthe
rest.201diamondsarest
il
lmi
ssingandI'
llf
ind
them.

Itel
lmyboyst
ocleanupandIgo.Fi
rst
lyIhav
e
tobreakupwi
thAngelandgetmywomanback.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofI
nser
t18

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Whatawayt ospendmybi r
thday.I
nmyroom
wit
hagoodbook.I tsnotalotofpeopl
e'
sidea
offunbutf
ormei t
sj ustperf
ect.Acal
lcomes
thr
oughandIpickitup

"
Hel
l
o"Isay

"
HiQi
nisi
wei
tsmeNat
hi"hesay
s

*
*si
l
ence*
*
"
Nat
hif
rom?
"Isay

"
Theguyyouandy ourfr
iendwerewi
ththat
t
imeatt
herestaurant
.IwaswithSphe.Don'
t
t
ell
mey oudon'
trememberme"hesay s

*
nowIr
ememberhi
m*

"OhnowIremembery
ou.Wher
edi
dyougetmy
number
?"Iask

"Fr
om yourfr
iendThobi
sheisdati
ngSpheand
shetol
dmet hatyouandthatdi
ckhead
Nkanyezibr
okeup"hesay

*
*fi
rst
lyt
hisni
ggahasnor
ightt
ocal
lNkany
ezi
adickhead.I'
mtheonlyonewhoi sall
owedto
saythatabouthim.ButI'
l
lletitpass.Andwhere
doesThobi gett
herightt
ogi v
eNat himy
numbernx.**

"Yeahwedi dbreakupbutpl
easedon'
tcal
lhi
m
adickhead"Isaywit
hsomeatti
tude

"I
'
m sor
ry.Uhm Iwant
edt
osayHappyBi
rt
hday
"
hesays

"
Thanks"Isay

"Uhm Iwaswonderi
ngmaybewecouldgoout
.
Tothemov i
esorsomewhereni
ce"hesays

*
sil
ence*
"
Idon'
tknow"Isay

"Pl
easeQini
siwe.Iknowy
ounotdoi
ng
anyt
hing"hesay

*Ikeepqui
etforsomet
imejustthi
nki
ng.Maybe
IshouldgooutImeani
tsnotli
keI'
m busyor
anythi
ng*

"
OKI
'
llgot
othemov
ieswi
thy
ou"Isay

"
Thankyousomucht rustmey
ouwon'
tregr
eti
t.
I
'
llf
etchyouat5"hesays.

"
OkayI
'
llbewai
ti
ng"Isay
Ihangup.Okaysowhatdopeopl
ewearon
dates.I
tsadat
eri
ght
?
Igetupf r
om thebedandgot ot heshower .I
getin.Shoul
dIreallygooutwithNathi.Hei sa
real
l
yni ceguy.Hottoo.Am Ireadytobei n
anotherrel
ati
onship.Whynot.ImeanNkany ezi
i
salsoi narel
ationshi
psomay beishouldalso
mov eon.

Igetoutoftheshower.Lot
ionandoptfora
bl
ackjean,atee,maroonadidasj
acketand
somesneaker.Leavemybr aidsl
ooseandput
onsomel i
psti
ck.

I
'
m nowr
eadysol
etmewai
tforNat
hi.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

I
'm dri
vinghomer i
ghtnow.I'
m sur
eI'l
lfind
Angelthereandthatwil
lbetheperf
ectmoment
tobreakupwi t
hher.I'
m gonnaworkthingsout
wit
hQi nisi
wefi
nishandklaar.

Igethomeandj ustlikesaidIfi
ndherhome.
She'
spai nt
inghernails.Isweart
hisgi
rldoesn'
t
toshit
.Don'tCook,don'tcleanal
lsheknowsi s
spendingmymoney .Nx.

*
Icl
earmyt
hroatandshel
ooksup*

"
Ohheybaby
"shesay
s

"
LookAngel
weneedt
otal
k"Isay
"
Okay
"

"Youknowwhenwef i
rstmetItoldyouthatI
m
sti
ll
inlovewi t
hsomeoneel se.Andthat
someoneel seisQini
siwe.Meandherhav e
decidedtowor kt
hingsout.I'
m sorr
ybutme
andy oucan'tdot
hisany more.
"Isay

"HawbabyIthoughtweweregood.I
'm goodi
n
bedandIkeepyouhappy"shesays

*
aibot
hisgi
rl
*

"Gi
rl
ythi
sisnotaboutsex
.Idon'tl
ovey
ou,nev
er
have,
nev
erwil
lnowgetupandl eavemyhouse"
Isay
"
NkanyeziIgav
eyoumyever
ythi
ngnowy ou
wantt
oleavemefort
hatugl
ybit
ch"shesays

"Cal
l herabitchagai
nandyou'll
seewhatI
'm
madeof .Busytal
ki
ngaboutyougavemeev er
y
thi
ng.Bitchy ougavemenothingbutt
hat
graveyardyoucallavagi
na"Isay

Shelooksatmeshocked.Ipi ckherandcar ry
heroutsi
dewi thherbusyshout ingandtell
ing
met ostop.Itakeheroutsi
det hegat eandt el
l
hernevertosetf ooti
nher e.Igivehersome
money.About10k.Vel ethat'
st heonlythi
ngshe
knows.Suckingmymoney .Ileav ehercry
ing.

Igobacki
nside.Ipourmy
sel
fsomewhi
skey
andgul
pitdownononego.
Ipr
aythatQi
nisi
wet
akesmeback.I
'
mfucked
upwit
houther
.

LedByLov
e

I
nser
t19

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

I
'm sogladIagreedtogooutwi thNat
hi.Hei
s
real
lyfunny
.I'
vebeenlaughingfort
hepast3
hours.Wejustfi
nishedwatchi
ngamov ie.We
watchedBlackPanther.WAKANDAf am.

Wear
enowhav
ingdi
nneratsomer
est
aur
ant
.
"
Thanksf
ort
hisIhadf
un"Isayt
ohi
m

"
Pleasur
eisal
lmi
nemsNkosi
"hesay
s

*
*Igi
ggl
eatt
hemsnkosi
comment
*

Weeatwhi letalkingaboutsi l
lystuff.Poli
tics.
Sohei salawy er.Hekeepst el
li
ngmeIr emi nd
him ofhissist
erwhodi edl astyear .Idon'
tknow
i
fIshoul dbehappyorsadaboutt hat.Being
compar edtoaghost .Creepy .Hei salsocr eepy.
Hejustzonesout .Healsohasawander ingey e.
Helov eswomenIcant ellbuthei sr eal
lycool.
I'
m notfall
i
ngf orhim Ij
ustl ovehiscompany .
Cool dude.

"
Ineedt
het
ouset
hel
adi
es"Isay
Henods.

Igototheladi
es.Igeti
nthebathr
oom and
cl
osethedoor.Ipee.Wipe.Andwearmyjeans.
IopenthedoorandIscream

"
Aaahwhatt
hef
uck"Isay

Hel
ooksatmewit
hhisj
awscl
enched.Howt
he
f
uckdi
dhegeti
n.Thi
sist
hel
adiestoi
let
.
Heisbr
eat
hingheavi
ly
.IfIdi
dn'
tknowhimI
woul
dbesurethathewassenttokil
lme.

"Nkanyezi
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eint
hel
adi
es
bathr
oom arey
oucrazy
?"

*
hel
ooksatme.Ey
esr
ed.Damnhei
spi
ssed.
Whyt
hough*

"
Nkany
ezi
what
'swr
ongwi
thy
ou?
"Iask

*
hest
il
ll
ooksatme*

"
Uf unaniLAwenaQini
siwebecauseIcal
l
edal
l
yourfri
endsandtheysai
dtheydon'
tknow
wher eyouar
e?"Hesays

"Pl
easeNkanyeziy
oudon'thav
et heri
ghttoask
met hatnxwhothefuckdoyouthinkyouare"I
say

Her ai
seshi
shandbuthest
opshimself
.It
hink
hewant edt
oslapmeandIputmyhandsonmy
face.Hepushesmebacki
ntothebat
hroom
andcl
osest
hedoor
.

"
Ufunani
KuNat
hiQi
nisi
we?
"Heasks

Il
ookathi
m

"
Don'tmakemebeatthet
rut
houtofy
ounow
t
alkwoman"heshout
s

*
*I'
m nowcry
ing.I
'
m soscaredr
ightnow.
Wouldher
eall
ybeatme?**

"
Okayy
oudon'
twantt
otal
k"hesay
s

Hepul
l
smyhandandt akesmeoutoftheroom.
Hei
spull
i
ngmebyf orcet ot
hetabl
ewhere
Nat
hii
ssit
ted.Nat
hi spotsusandstandsup.
Wegett
ohi
m

"
Takey
ourbagsi
hambe"Nkany
ezi
say
s

"
Shei
sgoi
ngnowher
ewi
thy
ou"Nat
hisay
s

"Fucky
ouboyI
'
m nott
alki
ngt
oyou"Nkany
ezi
says

*Nathihol
dsmyhand.Nowpeopl earelooki
ng
atus.Nkanyezi comescloserandstart
s
punchingNathi.Theyarenowhav ingafistf
ight
butNkanyeziisov erpoweri
ngNathi.Nathii
s
bleedi
ng.Ikeept el
li
ngthem tost
op* *

"
Nkany
ezi
stop"Ipl
ead
"
Nkany
ezi
please"

Ikeepbeggi
nghi
m butheishav
ingnonofi
t.
Nathii
snowonthefl
oor.

"
Nkany
ezi
ngi
yakucel
a"

Hest
opsFI
NALLY!
!

"
Ify
ouevercallhert
extherorl
ookathertr
ust
meboyI
'
llkil
lyou"nkanyezi
sayst
oNat hi

Het akesmybagandpul l
smeoutsi
de.It
s
rai
ningheavil
y.Wewalktohi
scarandtherai
n
i
sn'tdoinganyjusti
cet
ous.Wegettohiscar
andwear ealreadywet
.
Wedr i
vetohishouse.Ihavenoener
gyto
prot
estsoIlethim be.Wegett
ohishouse.We
getoutandhet akemyhandandleadsmet o
thehouse.Histwinisher
e.

"
Sawubona"Isay

"
HiQi
ni"hesay
sandcomescloserandgi
ves
meahugandwhisper
s"Hereall
ylovesy
ou"

Nkany ezi
leadsmeupt hestair
s.Wegett ohis
room.Het akesoffhi
swetcl othesevenhis
underwear .Hispeni
sstandsf i
rm .Iswal
low
hardlookingatit.Hewearsdr yclot
hes.I
'm
sit
ti
ngont hebedlooki
ngathi m.

Heisdone.Hecomescl
oserandki
ssesmy
f
orehead.
"
Ilov
eyou"hesay
s

Il
ookathi
m ast het
earsfal
lfr
om myey es.He
wi
pesthetearsandkissesmyeyes.Thenhe
ki
ssesmylips.I
'
m notkissi
nghim back.
Hest
opsandl
ooksatmeandshakeshi
shead.

Hegoest
owar
dst
hedoor
."Ngi
yabuy
a".
Heexi
tsandIcanheart
hekeyt
urni
ng.

Fuckt
hisni
ggal
ockedmei
nsi
dehi
sroom.
..
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t20
Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

It
snow23: 45I'vebeenst rugglingtosl eepever
sinceNkany ezilockedmei nhisr oom.Il eft
somecl ot
hesher ewhenwewer estill
dat i
ngso
Itookashowerandwor emyPJs.I 'vebeen
tossingandt urningli
kecr azy.Nkany ezi i
scrazy
Itellyou.Whyonear t
hwoul dhebeatNat hil
ike
that.It
snotlikemeandNat hiweref ucking.We
wer ejustchi
lli
ng.DamnNkany ezi r
uinedmy
birt
hdayshame.Whati fNat hiopensacase
againsthim.Ai Nkany ezidoesn' tt
hinknx.

JustasI'
mt hi
nkingofNkanyezi
Icanhearthe
keyturni
ngagain.Ipr
etendt
obeasleep.Isnor
e
l
ightl
y.
Icantel
lhei
stakingashowerbecauseIcan
heart
hewaterrunni
ng.Onl
yGodknowsj ust
howmuchIwantt ojumpintheshowerwith
hi
m butIcont
rol
my sel
f.
Heissi
ngi
ngIwonder
whatmadehimthishappy.

Hegetsout
.Icanhearthedr
aweropeni
ng.He
i
staki
ngouthisboxer
s.Heonlysl
eepsi
n
boxer
s.Hegetsi
nbedandhugsmybodyf rom
behi
nd.

"
Iknowyouar
enotsleepi
ngsoi
tsbet
tery
ou
wakeupandwet
alk"hesays

"Nkanyezi
areyouondr ugsorsomet hi
ng
becauseonlydr
ugaddi ct
sactl i
keyou.Or
may beyoufor
gottotellmet hatyouescaped
from amentali
nst
it
ution?"Isay

*
*helaughsl
iker
eall
ylaughsandIendup
j
oini
nghim.Welaughtogether
**
"SthandwaSam I
'm addi
ctedtoyou,andI
'
m
alsocrazyi
nlov
ewi thyou"hesays

"
Nkanyezi
youneedt
ost
opt
hismadnessof
y
ours"

"I
'l
lonlyst
opi fyout akemeback.NanaIknowI
hurtyou.Buttruthbet ol
dIdi dn'tfuckthatgirl
.
Weonl ykissedandt henIr emember edhow
shatter
edy ouwoul dbei fy ouf oundout .I
'm
sorryIhurtbutbabyIst i
llthinkyouneedt otal
k
tosomeoneaboutt heshi tyou'vebeent hrough
becauseonet hingI '
venot icedist hatyouhav e
alotofangerwi thiny ou.Youpushpeopl eaway .
Youar eafrai
dofl ove.ButbabyI 'm hereandI '
m
notgoingany wher eokay "hesay s
*
*I'
m nowcr
ying*
*

"Gi
vemeanot
herchancey
ouwon'
tregr
eti
t
babe"

*Iturnaroundandputmyheadonhi schest
.
I
'ml i
steni
ngtohisheartbeat.Hischesti
snow
wetf r
om myt ear
s.Il
ookathi m.Imovemy
headt ohi
s.Myl i
pstouchhi s.Wekissandhis
tongueinvadesmymout h.Hegr absmyass.I
fl
inch**

"
Nkany
ezi
yourhandsar
eonmyass"
Heignor
esmeandkeepssqueezi
ngit.Hi
sdick
i
snowhar dasarock.
Ibr
eakt
hekiss.helooks
atmeandf r
owns.

It
urnback.
"
Qini
si
wear
eyoubei
ngser
ious"

"
Lal
aNy
ambose"Isayandl
augh

"
Youar
enotf
airman"hesay
ssul
ki
ng

"
OhkbabyIl
ovey
out
oo"Isay

Icl
osemyey
esandbef
oreIknowi
tI'
minLal
a
l
and.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Waki
ngupinNkany
ezi
'
sarmsisoneofthe
mostamazi
ngmomentsev
er.Af
terbei
ngaway
f
rom t
hismanfor2monthsGodf
oundaway
f
orustogetbackt
oget
her.
Zinzioncet oldmet hati
nrelati
onshi psit
snot
alwaysr osy.Myf aul
twasthatIwant ed
Nkany ezitobesoper fectt
hatIf orgotthathei
s
alsohuman.Hemadeami stakej ustli
ke
everybodyel se.Hesayshedi dn'
tsl eepwith
thatgirlandIchooset obeli
ev ehim.
Ifhedoesthi
sshitagai
ni'
l
lchopof
fhi
speni
s.I
swearI'
m notpl
aying.

Igetoffbedsl
owlysoIdon'twakehim up.He
i
ssopeacef ul
.Il
ovehim whenheisasleep
becausewhenhei sawakeheiscraycray.

Igeti
ntheshowerandgetlostinmythought
s.I
don'
tevenheartheshowerdooropenunti
lIf
eel
armsaround.Hekissesmyneckandstart
s
massagingmyboobsohl ordthi
sfeel
smagical
.
Heliv
eshi
shanddowntomyv agi
na.Hest
art
s
rubbi
ngi
tsl
owly
.Ican'
thel
pbutmoan.Myeyes
popwhenheputsafi
ngeri
n

"
Damnbabyy
ousot
ight
"

"
Aah.
.Nka.
.NY.
..
shi
t"Isay

Hest opsandscoopsmeandt akesmet othe

bedroom.Heput smeontopoft hebed.He
comest omyfaceandst
art
skissingme.He
goesdownt omyboobsandkissesImean
suckst hem.Hegoestomystomacht henmy
thi
ghs.I '
m makesur
eIcl
osethem tight.

"
Babypl
easeopenf
orme"
"
Nkany
ezi
I'
venev
erdonet
hisbef
ore"

"
Trustmel
oveIwon'
thur
tyou"

Iopenthem slowly.Hekissesmyi nnert

highs
andgoesallthewayt omycooki e.Hef i
rst
ly
ki
sses.Thenst ar
tssucking.Heisnowf ucking
mewi t
hhistongue.I '
m holdi
ngont heshit
sf or
dearl
if
e.

"Aaaahf
uckNy
ezi
mmhah"I
'
m moani
ngl
i
ke
crazy

Ifeelmybodyshakingabi t
.Ifeelli
keI'mi
n
heavenandthenIreleaseonhisf ace.Hest
ops
andcomest omyfaceandst art
skissingme
makingmet ast
emy self.If
eelhimt ryi
ngt
o
pushhi
speni
sinbuti
tref
usest
ogeti
n

Hekeepstryi
ngbutnol
uck.Hespi
tsonhi
s
handandrubsmycooki
e.Hetri
esagai
nand
thi
sti
meitgetsi
n.

"
Nkany
ezi
condom"

"Noneedfort
hatthi
sismynewhome"hesay
s
andstar
tsmoving.

"
Babyr
elax.I
twi
l
lhur
tify
out
enseup"

I
'
m nowcr
ying.I
thur
ts.Ihav
emyhandsonmy
f
ace.

"
Babyl
ookatme"hesay
s
It
akemyhandsof
fmyf
ace

Heincr
easeshispace.AndnowI
'
mfeel
i
ngbot
h
pai
nandpleasure.

"
Shi
tQi
ni.
..
aah.
.babe.
..
ti
ght.
..
"Hemoans

Heisf
ucki
ngmesohar
dfor
get
ti
ngt
hati
tsmy
f
ir
stti
me.

"
Shoul
dIsl
owdown?
"

Inod.Hedecr easeshispace.Andt
hen
i
ncreasesit.heisgoingsof ast
.Wear
ebot
h
abouttoreachourclimax.
"
FUCK!
!"hescr
eams

Ihol
dontohimfordearli
fe.Ooht
hatwasgood.
Helooksatmeandkissesme.
"Il
ovey
ou"hesay

Ijustsmil
efeel
i
ngeembarr
assedf
orsome
reasonandIputmyhandsonmyface.He
remov est
hem.

"
Don'
tbeal
lshyonmewomanIsai
dIl
ovey
ou"

"
Met
oo"

"
Met
oowhat
?"
"
Ilov
eyout
ooNy
ezi
"

Hesmil
es.Ir
emovethecov
erandohshi
tIbl
ed.
If
eel
thetear
sformi
nginmyeyes.Hel
ooksat
me"What'
swrong"

"
Nyezi
Ibl
ed"
Hel
ooksatt
hesheetandsmi
l
es.
WTF

"
Thanky oufort
rusti
ngmewi t
hyour
v
irgi
nit
y.Don'
tworryaboutt
hesheet
swe'l
lput
t
hem inthewashingmachine.
"Hesays

Hescoopsmeupandt akesmetotheshower
.
Weshowertoget
herwhil
ehavi
nganother
sessi
on.Whatawaytostar
tmyday..
..
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t21

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Iswearonmymot her
snameIwassot empted
tochanget hepil
lsandgiveherfakeonesbut
thenIremember edIsti
llneedtogainhertrust
back.Shesay ssheisnotreadyforkidsandI
ful
lyunderstandbutkesheneedst ohur r
yI'
m
notgetti
nganyy ounger.

Wear egoingoutIdecidedtotreatherto
somethingnicesincesheisgoingbackt owork
tomorrow.AndIknowQi ni
siweisdedicat
edt o
herwor kIwon'tevengetachancet obewi t
h
herkodwav eleI'
m alsogoi
ngtobebusy .
Findi
ngt hedi
amondsi sharderthanIthought
butwegotal
eadandy
ouknowIdon'
twast
e
ti
me.
.
..
..
.

Wejustarri
vedatt herest
aur
ant.Ibookedthi
s
enti
rerest
aurantformeandmyqueen.We
needsomepr i
vacy.Justmeandhertalki
ng
aboutourlove.

Itakeherhandandl eadhertothet
able.The
setti
ngisreall
ynice.I
'
veneverdonethisbef
ore
butMt hunzisai
dthatwomenl ovet
hesetypeof
romant i
cshit.

Weset
tl
edown.

"
Nkany
ezi
whyi
sitsoqui
eti
nher
e"sheasks
"Wellt
hatbecauseIbookedi
tjustf
ort
het
woof
us"Isay

Sheopenshermout
handl
ooksatmei
n
di
sbel
ief

"
Nyeziy
oudidn'
thav
eto.Imeanhowmuch
moneydidy
ouwaste?"

"
Moneyi
snotani
ssuewheni
tcomest
o
maki
ngy
ouhappymylov
e"

"Nkanyezionethi
ngyouneedtoknowisI
'm not
charmedbyy ourmoney.Wecouldhav
ejust
wenttoSpurinsteadofwast
ingmoney
unnecessari
ly
"shesays
*
*Ibr
ushmyhead.
***

"
I'
m sor
ryt
hen"
Isay

Shesmi
l
esandIsmi
l
eback.
Thewai
tercomesandt
akesouror
der
s.

"Sot
hereasonItookyououtisbecauseI
wantedustost
artoverandknoweachot her
morebecauset
hereisalotyouhaven'
ttoldme"
Isay

"
Whatdoy
ouwantt
oknow"sheasks
"
Ever
ythi
ngabouty
ou"

Shesmilesandsi
psherj
uicesandt
hen
breat
hesout.

"
Noy
oust
art
"shesay
s

"Mynamei sNkanyeziMthethwa.I '

mi nlove
withagi r
lcal
ledQini
siweNkosi andprettysoon
shewi l
lbemywi f
e.I
m 28y earsol d.I
'm anIT
special
istwit
haheapofbusi nesses.Ihav e4
brother
s.Idon'thaveparents.Idon'thavekids
butin2mont hsti
memywomanwi l
lbe
pregnant.Yeahthat'
sjusti
t"

Shel
ooksatmeandbur
stsouti
ntol
aught
er.
"
Okayy
ourt
urn"

"MynameisQi ni
siweNkosi
.I'
m 23year
s
old.
I'
m aCA.Ihave3fri
ends.
"Shesays

Il
ookatherwaiti
ngforhert
ocontinuebutshe
doesn'
t.Il
ookatherandshelookssosad.Lif
e
i
ssounf ai
r.Howcansuchabeaut i
ful
soulbe
sobroken.

"SobabydidItel
lyouhowInear
lygotr
aped
oneday"shelooksatmeandsmiles

"
Noyouhav
enev
er"shesay
shol
dingi
nher
l
augh

"
SoIwasatacl
ubwi
thmybr
other
s.I
'
m chi
l
li
ng
andther
ewast hi
sguybusylooki
ngatme.And
hewaslookingatmebusysingi
ngyourfavor
it
e
songkonjewhat'
sitcal
l
ed?Theonethatsays
Kwakwakwa"

"
Youmeanwi
l
dthought
s"

"Yepthatone.SoI'
ml ikewhatthefuckiswrong
withthi
sdude.Igot othetoil
ettopee.OkayI
peeandwhenIt ur
nbackt heniggaislooki
ngat
mewi thasmi l
eonhi sface.Hetouchesmy
chestanddoy ouknowwhathesai d?"Iask

"
Whatdi
dhesaybaby
"sheaskswhi
l
elaughi
ng

"
Theniggasai
dhowy
oudoingdaddydoyou
wantmeasmuchasIwantyou.
"Isayi
mit
ati
ng
t
hatgayvoi
ce
Shelaughssohar
dwi
tht
ear
scomi
ngoutof
herey
es

"YaziQini
swey ouar
ebusyl
aughi
ng.Whatifhe
kidnappedmeandmademehi sprost
it
ute"I
asksandpr et
endtocry

*Shelaughssohar
dholdingherstomach.I
can'
thelpbutl
aughtoo.Iwaslyi
ngaboutthe
stor
yIjustwant
edtocheerherup.Andit
worked**

Weeatoverli
ghtconver
sat
ionaboutmov
ies.
Shesaysshewanttowatchamov i
ewhenwe
gethomesomov iei
tis.

"
Andohbabyy
ouneedt
ost
opshowi
ngme
f
lamesi
nbed.Ihav
eAr
thurwr
it
ethi
s"Isay

"
Whati
sthat
?"Sheasks

"
Thedi
seasewher
eyourboneshur
t"Isay

"
Nkany
ezi
itscal
l
edAr
thr
it
is"

"
That
'swhatIsai
d"

Shelookatmeandl aughssohardthewai t
ers
star
tedpeeki
ng.Sheislaughi
ngsohar d
bangingt
hetablewit
ht ear
sinhereyes.Il
augh
al
ongwi t
hher.Fuckherlaughi
ssocont agi
ous

.
..
..
..
..
Wef ini
shedeat
inganddrovehomeandwej ust
arr
ived.Wetakeashower.Aninnocentone.
Thenwecat chamov i
e,MADBUDDI ES.We
l
aughedt hr
oughouttheent
iremovie.

Fi
nishedthemov i
eandwenttobed.Isl
eepso
peaceful
l
yrightnextt
othel
i
veofmyl if
e

*
***
***
*

I
nser
t22t
omor
row.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t22

*
***
***
***
***
Nar
rat
ed*
***
***
***
*
Nathiwaschi l
linginhisf ather
shousethinki
ng
aboutQini
siwe.Hecoul dn'ttakehismindoff
howbeaut i
ful sheis.Howshel ookedl
ikehis
si
sterwhodi edl astyear.Itwasnosecr etNat
hi
l
ovesQinisi
weandhehasputhi smindt o
makingherhi s.

Thet hingaboutNathii
shei sobsessiv
e.He
doesn'tr eal
lyl
iket
obet ol
dno.Likefatherl
i
ke
sonIt ellyou.Heoncerapedagirlandthen
ki
lledherbecauseshedi dn'
twanthim.Hei s
crazyIt elly
ou.

Nathit
akesouthi
sphonefr
om hi
spocketand
call
Qini
siwei
tri
ngsandshepi
cksupaftert
he
4thri
ng
"
Hel
l
o"Qi
nisi
wesai
d

"
HiQi
nisi
wei
tsmeNat
hi"

"
Ohuhm whatdoy
ouwant
"shesai
d

"
Iwantust
omeetupsowecant
alk"

"
Uhm Nat
hiIdon'
tthi
nkNkany
ezi
wil
ll
iket
hat
"

*
*hechuckl
es*
**

"
Lal
elaLA.I'
m NathiZondiandIdon'ttakeno
f
orananswer .I
tsei
theryouagreeforusto
meetorI
'l
ldragyourasshere.FuckNkany ezi
"
*
Qini
siwej
usthungupt
hephone*

Nathicoul
dntbel i
evet hatQini
siwehungupt he
phoneonhim. Hecal medhi mselfdown.By
l
ookingatapict ureofQi ni
si
we.Hehasal otof
pi
cturesofQinisiwewhi chhest ol
eonfacebook.
Heev encol
lagedpi cturesofhim andQini
siwe
andmadei tonepi cture.

Int
hatmomentMrZondi
,Nathi
'
sfathercame
i
nandsatdowni
nthecouchopposi
tehim.

"
Son"

"
Babakuhambakanj
ani
"

"
Ainotgood.Iwentt
otheHeal
erMbov
uand
whathesai
djustdoesn'
tmakesense"

"
Whatdi
dhesay
"

"Hesaidthatther
eisachil
dIhaventbr
ought
homeandt hemot heroft
hechi
ldisnotat
peaceandt hatwi
llbr
ingpr
obl
emsf ormeand
ourfamil
y"

"
Eishbaba"

Mrzondi
gotupandwentt
ohi
sroom l
eav
ing
Nat
hiint
helounge.
.
..
..
..
.

I
nt hebedr
oom Mrzondit
hrewhimsel
fonthe
bed.Hedecidedt
ocall
Mbov uf
orsomeclari
ty
"
Zondi
"theheal
ersai
d

"
Mbov
uai
I'
mlost
"

"Zondither
eisnothinglef
tformet oexplai
n.
Youwr ongedawomanandl eftherpregnant.
Shei snotatpeace.Thechil
dneedst obe
foundandi nt
roducedtoyourancestors.The
mot herofthechi
ldisangryatyou.Youdon't
wantt omakeenemi eswithaghosttrustme.
List
enI '
l
lcomet oyourhousetomor r
ow"

Theybot
hhungup.Mrzondi wasevenmore
l
ost.Hehasbeenwi t
haloti
fwomeninthepast
.
Whocoulditbe.Thenheremember
ed.

"
Ohshi
titcan'
tbeZanel
e"hesai
dtohi
msel
f
.
..
..
..
..
..
.

BackintheloungeNathiwaspl
ott
inghispl
an.
HewantedQi ni
siweandonewaytodot hati
s
bykil
l
ingNkany ezi
.Buthowcanhekil
lNkanyezi
.
Thatdudeisconnected.
LedbyLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t22

*
***
***
***
**nar
rat
ed*
***
***
***
**

Nomhlewasgoi
ngthroughInst
agram l
ooki
ng
atpi
ctur
esofQi
nisi
weandNkay enzi
.Shehad
suchanevi
ll
ookonherface.
"NxIwonderwhatNkany
eziseesi
nher.Imean
sheisnotevencl
osetowhatIl
ookli
ke"she
sai
dtoherself

"Nkanyezishoul
dbewithagir
lli
keme.Hotand
sexy.NotQinisi
we.I
'
m gonnamakesurethatI
makehi m mineandminefor
ever.
"

Shetookherbaggett
ingreadyt
ofet
chher
si
sterf
rom t
hedoctor.Shedeci
dedt
ocall
her
.

"
Gal
arey
oudone"shesai
d

"
Yessi
spl
easecome"

Shethendroppedthecal
landwentt
othe
doct
ortofetchhersi
ster
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
.

Insi
dethedoctor'
sroom Angelwasdonewi th
hercheckup.ShewasnowAmont handaf ew
weekspregnantandshewassur eits
Nkanyezi'
sbabybecauseshehasn'tbeenwi t
h
anyonesinceshebrokeupwithNkany ezi
.

Shewentout
sideandf
oundhersi
sterNomhl
e
i
nthecarandshegoti
n.

"Thanksf
orcoming"shesai
dget
ti
ngi
nthecar
andclosi
ngthedoor

"Okaysoareyougonnat
ellmewhot
hef
ather
ofthebabyis"Nomhl
easked
"
Justsomeguy
."

"
Tel
lmemor
ehaw.
"

"SoIwasi narelati
onshipwit
ht hisguy.Hotand
ri
chguy .Whenwest art
eddati
nghej ustcame
outofar el
ati
onship.Thenallofasuddenhe
breaksupwi t
hmeandt el
l
smet hathewantsto
fi
xthingswithhisex.Iwassohur tsi
si.Heeven
saidIhaveagr aveyardofavagina"Angelsaid

"
Whatwhoi
sthatguy
?"

"
Idoubty
ouknowhi
m."

"
Ngekesisiwam weneedt
oteacht
hatmana
l
essonngeke"Nomhl
esaid
"
Thewor
set
hingi
sIst
il
ll
ovehi
m"

"
Doesheknowaboutt
hebaby
"

"
NoIhav
en'
ttol
dhi
myet
"

"Well
youneedtot
ell
him.I'
m suret
hebabyi
s
gonnacausesomehavocbetweenthem"
Nomhlesaid

Angelwasnowcryi
ngbutshewasdet
ermi
ned
togethermanback.

Justastheyweret
alkingNomhl
erecei
vesa
textf
rom Qi
nisi
weitreads
*sor
rygi
rlcan'
tgoout
,Nkanyezi
istaki
ngme
somewhere I'
l
lmakeituptoyou*

Nomhl
ecl
i
ckshert
ongue

"
Andt
hen?
"Angel
asked

"JustsomehoeIcal
lafr
iend.Shehas
somet hi
ngt
hatbel
ongst
omenx"Nomhl esai
d

"
Somet
hing?
"Angel
asked

"
dropi
tAngel
"

Nomhlewast hi
nkingofapl
antobr eak
Nkanyezi
andQinisiweupandtheonlythi
ng
wouldbeforhertoseduceNkanyeziandsl
eep
wi
thhi
m.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t23

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Thepastf ewweekshav ebeenabsol utel

y
amazi ng.Nkany ezii
samaz ing?Thesexi salso
amazi ng.Yoht heniggahasgotmef eeli
ng
somet ypeofway .Zinzii
s4mont hsandy ohshe
hasbeeneat i
ngl i
kecrazy.Wear ealways
together.Shesomet i
mesev enbunkswor kt
o
bewi thme.I '
m notcompl ainingthoughZi nz
i i
s
mor elikeasistertome.West r
uggledtogether
duringourf i
rstyearatvarsi
t y
.Wecr i
ed
togetherwhenherboy fr
iendscheat edonher .I
l
ov eZinzi.Oneper sonwhohasbeenact ing
di
stanti
sNomhle.Idon'
tknowi
fit
sonl
ymebut
Thobial
sonot
iced.

Nomhlealwayshassomethingbadtosayabout
Nkanyeziandi
tsst
arti
ngtopissmeof f
.She
saysNkanyezii
snotgoodformeandI '
mt oo
weaktobewi t
hapersonli
kehim.ButIjust
i
gnoreherwhenevershesay st
hatbutit
sometimeshurt
sme.

Meandmygi r
lsincl
udingNomhl
ewearegoi
ng
outj
ustt
odosomer et
ailt
her
apy
.Shoppi
ng,
spaandever
ythi
ngnice.
I
'm gett
ingdressedandI'm opti
ngforashort
whitedress.Il
ovethisdressit
sreall
ysexyand
i
tshowsof fmycurvesinallt
herightpl
aces.

Nkany
ezi
wal
ksi
nasI
'
m aboutt
oputonsome
l
i
pst
ick.

"
Uyaphi
"heasks

"
Out
"

"
Looki
ngl
i
ket
hat
"

"HawNkanyezi
itshotout
sidebesidesYoucan'
t
seeany
thi
ngexceptformyt hi
ghs"Isay

"Youarewrongt
hosearemythighs.I
'
mt he
onlyonewhoissupposedt
olookatthem"he
says

Ilookathi
m andhehasaser
iousl
ookonhi
s
face.I
sheseri
ous?Yephei
s.
Igocl
osert
ohi
m andgi
vehi
m aki
ss

"
Byel
over
boy
"

Thegirl
sareal
readywai
ti
ngout
side.Igot
o
them andgeti
nthecar

"
Hibi
tches"

"
Hey
"theysay

"Mall
ofAfr
icaherewecome"zinziandThobi
l
aughandNomhl eisbusyonherphoneas
always.
Wedr iv
et oMallofAf
ricaandweshopti
ll
we
drop.Iforgott
omentionthatNkany
ezi
deposited50kintomyaccountsokeIhad
money.

Wear enowgoingtoali
ngeri
eshop.Iwantto
dosomet hi
ngspeci
alf
orNkanyezitoni
ght
.
Phelamyniggadoesevery
thi
ngt omakeme
happysoIhopethismakeshim happy.

"Oohgir
lIl
iket
heredoneNkany
ezi
isgonnago
crazywhenheseesme"Isay

Nomhler
oll
sherey
esandIpr
etendl
i
keIdi
dn'
t
seet
hat

"
NoQi
nisi
webuyt
hebl
ackone"Zi
nzi
say
s
"
Ili
kethebl
ueoneMikel
i
kesbl
uesoI
'
m buy
ing
t
hatone"Thobi
say
s

"
Canwegopleasei
tsnotli
ket
hesemenof
y
ourswi
l
lev
ermar r
yy'al
l
"Nomhlesay
s

"
OhcomeonNomhlewear enotint
hemood
f
ory
ourat
ti
tudepl
ease"Zi
nzisay
s

"
YouknowwhatI
'
mleav
ing"Nomhl
esay
s

Sheleavesusandwecont i
nuewithwhatwe
weredoing."
goodr
iddancetobadrubbi
sh"
Thobisaysandwelaughandgiveeachother
hi
ghfives

Wepayandwel
eav
eandgot
odebonai
rs
becauset
hepregnantgi
rlwantspi
zzasopi
zza
i
tis.Weorderandpayandjustasweareabout
toleav
eNathiwalksi
nandcomest ous.

"
Hil
adi
es"hesay
s

"Hi"theysayinalowtone.Theydon'
tl
ikeNat
hi.
Itoldthem abouthi
m exceptNomhle"

"
Qini
si
wecanwet
alk"

"Nathinott
odaypl
ease"hecomescl
oserand
dragsmebymyar m andtakesust
oan
excludedpl
ace

"
Youl
ooksexyt
oday
"hesay
s
"
YeahIknowNkany
ezi
tol
dmet
hesamet
hing
t
hismorni
ng"

Hegi
vesmeadeadst
areandIgetscar
ed
i
nst
antl
y

"
Qini
si
weIl
ovey
ou"

"
Nat
hiwel
lIdont
.I'
minlov
ewit
hNkany
ezi
and
I
'
mverymuchhappywit
hhim"

*
hechuckl
es*

"Youthinkhelov
esyouwellhedoesn'
t.He
doesn'tlov
eanyonebuthi
mself
.Nkanyezii
sthe
devi
lhimself.
"
"
Stopf
eedi
ngmel
i
es"hel
aughsacast
ical
l
y

"Yout hi
nkitsli
es.Wel laskhi m aboutthe
diamonds.Askhi m aboutMasi yaandhowhe
kil
ledhim andhi sfamily.Askhi m howt hey
kil
ledmysi sterNobuhl easr evenge.Askhim
aboutwher ehegotal l
thismoneyhehas.Ask
him aboutallthecashhei st.Askhi m whathe
doest opeoplewhodoubl ecr osshim.Askhi m
howmanypeopl etheyhav ekill
ed.Askhi m
wher ehewasonFr i
dayat13: 00andwhathe
wasdoi ngthere.Wel ll
etmet elly
ou.Hewasat
adoct orsappointmentwi thAngel because
guesswhatSheI sPr egnantandi tsyour
preciousNkany ezi
'sbaby .
"

Ican'
tbeli
evewhatheissayi
ng.I
sittr
ue.Ican'
t
helpbutSob.If
eelmyheartbr
eaki
ng.He
comescloserandopenshisarmsforme
"Getawayf r
om mey ousi
ckbastard.Youare
l
y i
ngNkany ezi
lovesme.hewi ll
nev erhur
tme
l
ikethatandev enifheisagangsterheismy
gangsterandIlovehim st
il
l"

Irunawayandgobacktomyf r
iends.Washe
tell
i
ngmethetrut
h.Theonl
ywayt otoknowthe
trut
hisf
rom t
hehorsesmouth.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t24

*
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
*

Lut
handowaschil
l
ingathi
shouse.Dr
inki
ng
whi
skeytr
yingt
omakesenseofwhathejust
di
scov
ered.
"
How"heaskedhi
msel
f.
Henot i
ceditwhenhemetQi ni
siwef orthefir
st
ti
me.Ther esemblancebetweenQi nisi
weand
Nobuhle.Thenhewentf ul
lPr i
vateinvesti
gator
onthemat terandQini
siweisreallyaZondi .
Qini
siweisthedaughteroftheirnumberone
enemy .Aii
tsbouttogetreal.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Itol
dZinzitodri
vemet omyf l
atandnotto
Nkanyezi
'shouse.Ican'
tbel
ievehehasbeen
l
y i
ngtomeal lt
histi
me.Whatel sehashebeen
l
y i
ngabout?Doesher eal
l
yloveme.Ican'tst
op
thetear
sfrom fal
li
ng.
.
..
..
.
Theydr
opmeof
fatmyf l
atandtheyl
eaveaf
ter
someti
meofmeassur
ingthem t
hatI
'l
lbefi
ne.
Igetinsi
deandIcan' tcontrolthesobsthat
escapemymout h.Icryl ouderandlouder.I
decidetoswitchoffmyphone.Nkany ezihas
beencalli
ngnonst op.Ilockthedoorandcr y
my sel
ftosleep.
.
..
..
..
.

I'
m wokenupbyal
oudknockont
hedoor
.I
knowforsur
eit
sNkany
ezi.

"OPENTHISFUCKI
NDOOR"heshout
sfr
om
outsi
de.
Idragmy selfandopen.NotthatIwantt
obutI
don'twantmynosynei ghboursbei
ngallupi
n
mybusi ness.

"Whythefuckarey
ounotpi
cki
ngupy
our
phone"hesays

Il
ookathim.Ilookatthi
spersoninf
rontofme.
Whoi she.Idon'
tknowhim.Iknowhisname
butIdon'
tknowt hety
peofpersonheis.
Thetear
sfal
l
.Hi
sfacechangesf
rom angert
o
worr
y.

"
Babywhat
'swr
ongwhohur
tyou?
"Hesay
s

Ishakemyheadast
het
ear
skeeponf
all
i
ng.
"
SthandwaSam t
alkt
ome"

Ikeeponcryi
ng.Het
ri
est
ocomecl
oserbutI
pushhim away.

"
Nkany
ezi
arey
ouacr
imi
nal
"Iask

Hel
ooksatmel
i
keI
'
m cr
azy
.

"
Baby
..
..
."
Ii
nter
rupthi
m

"
ANSWERTHEDAMNQUESTI
ON"ISHOUT

"
QINI
SIWEIDONTGI
VEAFUCKHIW MADYOU
AREBUTDONTEVERRAI
SEYOURVOICEAT
ME"hewar
nsme

I
'
m noti
nthemoodf
orhi
sthr
eat
sri
ghtnow.

"
Nkany
ezi
doy
ouki
l
lpeopl
e"

"
Babywhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"Heasks

"
IsAngel
pregnantwi
thy
ourbaby
?"
*
hest
art
spani
cki
ng*

"St
handwaSam Icanexplai
n.I
thappened
duri
ngtheti
mewhenmeandy ouwerebroken
upIpromiseIdi
dn'
tcheatmylove"

*
Icr
ylouder
.Ican'
tbel
i
vet
hisni
gga*
*
"Ican'
tbel
i
evey ouNkany
ezisoy ouhav i
nga
babywithyourhoesandyoudidn'tseeitfi
tto
tell
me.Ihadtof i
ndoutf
rom anout si
derwhil
e
youknew"

"
Babypl
easeIcanexpl
ain"

"
Youdon'
tl
oveme."

"
Qini
si
wepl
easel
etmeexpl
ain"

"
Nkany
ezi
justgo"

"
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
eti
l
lwesor
tthi
sshi
tout
"
"Tell
met
his.Ar
eyoual
soagangst
eranda
kil
ler
"

Hel
ooksatme

"
YesIam"

Myey espop.Idon'
tbeli
evethis.Nkanyezihas
beenl y
ingtomeallthi
sti
me.Li vi
ngadoubl e
l
ife.Hehasababyont heway .Wor seheisa
ki
ller.Howmanypeopl ehasheki l
led.Healso
ki
lledNathi'
ssi
ster
.Thatexpl
ainsthebeef
betweent hem.

"Nat
hiwasri
ghtaboutyou.Youar
ethedev
il
himsel
fyoudon'
tdeser
veme"
"Soy ouar etakingNat hi'
ssi deinsteadof
l
isteningt omey ourman.WowQi nisi
we.
Hav en'tIprovedmyl oyalt
yt oy ou.I'
mt ell
i
ng
yout hebabywasconcei vedbef or
ewegotback
totoget her.Youar ejumpi ngt oconclusions.
Busyt akingNat hi'
ssidecal lingmeagangst er
whenhi sfamilyisther easonwear el
ikethis.
Youar eweakQi ni
siwequi ckt orunwhenev er
thi
ngsgett oughwher easI'vealway sbeent here
foryou.Ihol dy ourhandev erytime.I'
m wi t
hon
yourt herapysessions.I '
my ourshouldertocr y
onal lthetimebuty oudon' tevenwantt ogive
meanearandl etmeexpl ain.Cal lmewheny ou
readyt oactl i
keanadul t
."

Heexi
tsandsl
amst
hedoor
.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t24
Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

TosayI '
m pissedwoul dbeanunder st
at ement.
I'
m Fumi ng.Ineedt oki llsomethi
ngorf uck
someonesoIcanr eleaset heangerIhav e.I
can'tbeli
ev eQinisi
wet ookthatdickhead
Nathi'
ssi de.Nathineedst odieasap.Iwonder
whatel sehet oldQinisiwe.Eishbr uhthingsare
getti
ngf uckedupaf t
erI '
vetri
edsohar dt ofi
x
them.Andt henthisbitchAngel t
ellsmeshei s
pregnant.Shesay sit
smybabyandf orsome
oddr easonIbel i
ev eher .Wellmay bethat '
s
becauseIkeptsomet absonherandshehas
neverbeenwi thanothermansi nceshebr oke
upwi thme.

I'
m onthehighwayri
ghtnowdriv
ingto
Luthando'
splacebecausehecal
ledafami
l
y
meet i
ng.Itsalr
eadydar kandmybr ain
functi
onswel li
nt hedark.Thef reshbreezei s
refr
eshing.Ican'thel
pbutmi ssmypar ent s.
Especiall
ymymot her.Theywoul dhavegot ten
alongwi t
hQinisiwe.Theylovet hesamet hings.
Baking.Helpingpeople.Laughing.Singing.
Dancing.Reading.OhgodImi ssmymama.Our
l
iveswoul dhavebeencompl etelydiff
erentif
mypar entswer eali
ve.

Iremembert hedaytheywereki
ll
ed..Themen
i
nbal aclavasincl
udingNat
hicameatabout
23:45whi lewewer eonavacati
on.Mymot her
wassor tofaseerandshecouldsense
somet hingwasgonnahappen.Shet hensatus
downandt ol
dushowi mport
antiti
sforusto
sti
ckt ogether.Att
hatti
mewedi dn'
t
understandwhybutwenowknowshewas
preparingusf orwhatwasabouttohappen.
Shet oldust ogot ooneoft hecabi nsandhide
thereshei sgonnacomeandf etchus.Wewent
thereexceptf orLuthandowhopr et endedtogo
withusbuthei nsteadhi dinthecar dboardand
witnessedev erythi
ng.Wedon' tknowwhat
happenedbutwewai t
edandwai tedf ormama
tocomeandf etchusbutshedi dn't.Wewent
backt ot hehouseandf oundourpar entsonthe
fl
oor,bloodal loverthem.Bul l
etwoundson
theirforeheads.ThatdayIwi l
lnev erforget
.The
Zondi familywillsooncur sethedayt heywere
born.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.

*
***
***
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
*

Nkany
eziar
ri
vedatLut
hando'shouseand
f
oundhisbr
other
salr
eadythere.
"
Hol
a"hesai
d

"
Shar
p"t
heysai
d

HesatdownandLut
handoCl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat

"Iguessyoual
lwonder
ingwhyIcal
l
edy
ou
here"hesai
d

"Yepespeci
all
ymeandpleasemakeitqui
ckI
havepussyIneedt
ofeaston"Nkoseny
esaid

"Yabowenat
hedayyougetanSTIy
ouwi
l
l
growup"Msi
zisai
d
"
Nxf
segMsi
zi
"Nkoseny
esai
d

"Okayt
her easonIcal
l
edy
ouher
eit
sbecause
ofQini
siwe"

*
Thebr
other
slookedathi
m"

"
Shei
sXol
ani
Zondi
'
sdaught
er.Nat
hi'
ssi
ster
"
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

AweekLat
er

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

I
tsbeenaweekandIhav
en'
tbeenincont
act
wit
hNkany
ezi.Iwant
edt
ocallhi
m somany
ti
mesbutmyegowoul dn'
tletme.I'
m hurtby
hisacti
onsy esbutever y
thinghesaidwast r
ue.
Hei sal
way sthereformeandIdon' tdothe
samef orhi m.Ifeelkindofbad.Theni ggadoes
everyt
hingf ormeandIcan' tevendoonet hi
ng
forhim.Trusthi m.Tomor r
owI'm goingtohi
s
placeandwear egonnat al
kaboutt hi
sshit
.
Thatmanl ovesmeandI '
m notgonnaletAngel
oranyot herbitchcomebet weenus.

I'
m nowgoinghomeaf t
ert
hemosthecti
cday
atwork.I
'v
enev erbeenthi
sti
redi
nmyl i
fe.I
shouldgotothespasoon.Ideser
veitmybody
hasbeenworkingov ert
imeyohIneedabreak.

.
..
..
..
..

Igethome.Geti
nandclosethedoor
.WhenI
tur
nIfindt
heshockofmylif
e.
"
Nat
hiuf
unani
Lana"

"
Im her
etot
akewhat
'smi
ne"

"
GetoutNat
hibef
oreIcal
lNkany
ezi
"

Outofnowher eIfeelashar
ppai
nonmyl ef
t
cheek.Heslappedme.Nkanyezi
hasnev
erhit
mebutt hi
sniggajustsl
appedme.

"
Fucky
ouNat
hi"

Hepull
smebymyhai
randt
hrowsmeont
he
f
loor
.
"
Yout
hinky
ourpr
eci
ousNkany
ezi
isgonnahel
p
y
ouheh"

Heki
cksmerepeat
edl
y.Fi
rst
lyonmyf
acenow
onmystomach.

"
Khul
umasf
ebe"

Hetakesoffhisbeltandstartshi
tt
ingmewi t
h
i
t.I
'
m cryingsoloudhet hentakesoffhi
stshirt
.
Fol
dsitandshov esiti
nmymout hsoIdon't
makenoise.I'
m soweakr ightnow.Thekicks
onmyst omachmademeweak.

"
Ilovey
ouQinisi
webutnoy
oual
way
shadt
o
t
ellmeaboutNkany
ezi
."
Hepull
shispant
sdownandbr i
nghisdi
ckto
myface.Heishi
tt
ingmewithi
tonmyf ace.I
can'
thel
pbutcry
.I'
m sodi
sgusted.I
'
m bl
eedi
ng.
Mystomachhurt
ssobad.

Hestandsupandstart
speeingonme.Onmy
f
ace.I'
m cr
yingbutnoonecanhearme.

"Sf
ebendinI'
m notev
engonnafuckyou
becauseyou'
vebeenfucki
ngt
hatpieceofshi
t
Nkanyezi
"

Hekicksmeagai
nonmyst
omach.NowI
'
m
coughi
ngbl
ood.

Heleav
esliv
ingmeont hefloor.I'
m soweakI
can'
tdoanythi
ng.Iputsomest rengthtoreach
formybag.Ishi
ftti
ll
I'
m closert oi
t.Itakeout
myphoneandt heonl
ypersonIknowwhowi ll
behereinaminutei
sNkany ezieventhoughwe
haven'
tbeenseei
ngeyetoey e.Iopenmy
phoneandcallhi
m.Hepicksupaf terthe4t
h
ri
ng.

"
Mankosi
omuhl
e"hesay
s

"
He.
.hel
p"t
hat
'sal
lImanaget
osay

"
Sthadwasam wher
ear
eyou.Babyt
alkt
ome"

Thephonefel
lfrom myhandbef
oreIcoul
d
utt
eranyword.ThenLI
GHTSOUT! !
!
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t25
*
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
**

Nkanyezi
trackedQini
siwe'
sphoneandgotthe
l
ocati
onin10seconds.Heandhi sbr
other
s
werenowdr i
vingt
oQinisi
we'sf
lat
.Passi
ngall
t
herobotsred.

Theyarri
vedandt
heybar
gedinandfound
Qini
siwelyi
ngont
hefl
oorbl
oodalloverher
.

"
Whatt
hef
uck"Nkany
ezi
wentt
oher

"Babycany ouhearme"hecheckedherpul se
andi twassti
ll
there.Hepickedherupandwent
tothecar.Hisbrotherswerefoll
owinghim and
Luthandowasdr iv
ing.MsiziandMt hunzi
stayedatthefl
attocl eanup.Luthandoand
Nkoseny
ewentt
othehospi
tal
wit
hNkany
ezi
.

Theygottothehospi
tal
andQi
nisi
wegotput
ontoastr
etcherandt
akentot
heward.

HOURSLATER

Thedoctorcameandt
hebrot
her
sst
oodup.
I
ncludi
ngMsi zi
andMt
hunzi
.

"
Arey
ouher
eforQi
nisi
we"

Theynodded

"Wellshei
sfinebutwesedat
edhersheneeds
torestbutshesuffer
edsomeint
ernalbl
eedi
ng
sinceshewaskickedint
hestomach.Shewas
si
xweekspregnantbutsheunf
ort
unat
ely
miscar
ri
ed.
"

Nkanyezicouldn'
tbelievewhathewashear i
ng.
Healwayswant edt ohav eababywi t
hQini
siwe
butnowthishappened.Hewasbl aminghi
mself.
Heshouldn'thaveleftheralone.Thi
swouldn't
havehappenedi fhedi dn'
tl
eaveheralone.

Hewentt oQini
siwe'
swar
dandkissedher
f
orehead."Il
oveyouMankosi
I'
ll
seeyou
t
omor r
ow"

Helef
twi
thhi
sbrother
sandont
hewayhe
madeaphonecal
l.

"Li
sten2mil
l
ionr
andsfindNat
hiZondi
and
bri
nghimt
omealive"hesai
d
"
Shobozza"

Thebrothersdr
ovetoNkanyezi'
shouse.The4
chil
l
edintheloungebutNkanyeziwenttohi
s
room.Tookashowerandwor ehisboxers.
Dranktwosleepi
ngpil
lsandgotinthecover
s
andslept.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

I
'veneverbeenthisdrainedi
nmyl if
e.Ijust
wokeupandonet hingIwanttodoi stoback
tosl
eep.ButIcant .Igetupandgost raightto
theshower.I
'm donein5mi nutesIweara
pumabl ackt
racksuitandsneakersthenI '
m off
.
Igett
othehospi
tal
andgost
rai
ghtt
oherwar
d.
Istandbythedoorcarr
yingherbag.Ibr
ought
herclot
hessoshecanbat h.Shesensesthat
I'
m hereandlooksatme.Ismi l
eatherandgo
cl
osertoher.

"
Sawbona"Isay

"
Sawubonanawe"

"
Howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"Isay

"
Likeshi
t"

Shecr
iesandIhol
dhert
ight
"Don'
tcrybabyI'
m herenow.Fi
rst
lyy
ouneedt
o
bathyoudon'tsmell
sonice"

*
shegi
ggl
esandt
hencr
iesagai
n*

"
Hepeedonmyf
acet
hat
'swhyIst
inkbuthel
p
meup"

Ihelpedherupandt ookhert otheshower.She

fi
nishedandIhel pedherlotion.Iwantedtofuck
hersobadbutIhel dmy sel
f.Ihelpherwearher
panty.ThenIputonherspor tsbra.Then
tracksui
ts.Socksandhersl eepers.If
ixherhair
.
Shehasbr ai
dssoIt i
ethem up.Ilookather
face.Sheisswollen.Iclent
chmyj awswaitti
llI
getmyhandsonNat hi.
She'
sdone.Ipi
ckherupandputheront
opof
thebed.

"
Doy
ouwantf
ood"

Shenods.Icallt
henurseandshebri
ngst
he
food.If
eedherbutshehastroubl
echewi
ng.
Shedidn'
tfi
nishherf
ood.

"
Qini
si
weI
'
m sor
ryIwasn'
tther
etopr
otecty
ou"

Sheshakesherhead

"
NoI'm sor
ryNkanyeziIshoul
dhaveli
stenedto
y
ouinsteadIl
ist
enedtoNat hi
butl
ookwher e
t
hatgotme.I'
mj ustsogladhedi
dn'tr
apeme"
"
Hav
eyouspokent
othedoct
or"

Sheshakesherhead.

If
eelt
hetearsf
all
i
ngf
rom myey
es.Isni
ffand
l
ookather.

"
Qini
si
wey
ouhadami
scar
ri
age"

Sheopenshereyeswidely.Tearscomi ngoutof
them.Sheshakesherheadandcr ieslouder
.
Sheisscr
eaming.Iholdhertight
.Shei s
screami
ng.Thedoctorcomesbar gingin.

"Nkanyezi
Noowhyme.whatdidIdosobad
thatgodkeepsonhur
ti
ngmel
ikethi
s.Nat
hi
kil
ledmybaby."
"
Shhhhbaby
"

Thedoct
orsedat
esher

"
Nkany
ezi
dontl
eav
emeNy
ez.
..
."

Theni tslightoutforher.Ican'
thelpmyt ear
s
from fall
ing.Ineedt ofi
ndNat hiandmakehi m
pay.Igeti nbedwi thherandhol dherf
rom
behind.GodIl ovethi
swoman.Ihol dher
tummy .Sot herewasal it
tl
echampi nthere?.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t26

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive
Qini
siweisget
tingdischargedtoday
.Isti
ll
haven'
tfoundNathibuttrustmeIwill
.Ihaven'
t
tol
dQi ni
siwet
hatIknowwhohi sfat
heris.I
ts
hardformeasIr eal
lydon'tknowwhattodo.

I'
m drivi
ngt othehospi talrightnow.Thedr i
veis
pret
tysilentwi t
hmel ostinmyt hought s.Idon't
knowwhatIwoul dhav edonei fNathi raped
Qini
siwe.Yohbr uhIwoul dhav ekil
ledNat hi,
Qini
siweandt henmy self
.Li keIsaidQi nisiweis
mineandmi nealonenoni ggahast her i
ghtto
puthislit
tledicki nmyQueen' scooki e.Shet ol
d
meev er
ything.Howhepeedonher .Howhe
wantedt oputt hedi ckinhermout h.Whenshe
wast ell
i
ngt hest oryIkeptmycool butdeep
downIwant edt okillNathi.Wehav en'ttalked
aboutmygangst eri
sm butIpl anont ell
ingher
every
t hi
ngbecauseIdon' twantanysecr ets
betweenus.
Iarr
iveatthehospitalandgost r
aightt
oher
ward.Shehasbat hedandshei sreadytogo.
Wet akeeveryt
hingthat '
shersandweleave.We
getinthecar.TheX6y oualr
eadyknow.

"
Youar
ecomi
ngt
omypl
ace"

Shenods.

"
Howf
ari
sAngel
now"sheasks

"
2mont
hsandsomeweeksbutI
'
m notsur
e"

"
Mmhhh"
Sil
encefil
lsthecar.Theonlythingthat
'
s
makingsoundnowi sQini
siwesni f
fi
ngandI
knowforsur esheiscryi
ng.Ilookatherand
sheislookingoutsi
dethewi ndow.

Wegethomeandshegoesst
rai
ghtt
oourr
oom.
It
aket
hebagsandfol
l
owherupstai
rs.

"
Younothungr
y"Iask

"
No.Wakemeupat5soIcancook"

"
NoI
'
llor
derpi
zzasl
eepI
'
llwakey
ouupl
ate"

Iexi
tther
oom andchi
l
linmyst
udy
.Doi
ng
somework.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Af
ewhour
slat
er

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Ther
ei snothingamazi ngli
kesleepi
ngwithno
onedistur
bingy ou.That'
sjustwhathappenedI
sl
eptl
ikeababy .Ichecktheti
meandi ts19:
45
ohshitIoverslept
.

Igetupandgodownst
air
s.If
indNkany
ezi
in
theki
tchen.

"
Hit
her
esl
eepi
ngbeaut
y"

Ismi
l
e.Hecomescl
oserandl
i
ftsmeup.
"
Imi
ssedy
ou"hesay
s

"AiboNkanyezi
Iwasi
nthebedr
oom nj
ena.
Pleaseputmedownyouarehur
ti
ngme"

*
*heki
ssesmebef
oreput
ti
ngmedown*
**

"
Wher
eist
hepi
zzaI
'
m st
arv
ing"Iask

"
Overt
her
e"

"
OhIdi
dn'
tseei
t"

Iwashmyhandsint
hesink.It
aket
heboxof
pi
zzaandgotothel
ounge.
"
Nkany
ezi
jui
cepl
ease"Ishout

Hecomestotheloungewithtwoglassesof
j
uice.Hesi
tsdownandweeat .Wefini
shthe
boxofpi
zzaandwebot hburpatthesamet i
me
andwelookateachandlaugh.

Itaket
heglassesandl
i
mpbackt
otheki
tchen
andwashthem.

Icomebacktotheloungeandsi
tdownont
he
couch.Wesi
tinsi
lence.

"
Uhm Qi
nisi
wel
et'
stal
k."

"
About
?"
"
Askmeany
thi
ngy
ouwantt
oknowaboutme"

"
Arey
ouagangst
erandi
fyeswhy
"

"YesIam.ButIhav ear easonf ort

hat.My
parent sdiedwhenwewer eyoung.Everyone
turnedt hierbacksonus.Weonl yhadeach
other.Wehadt ofightQi nisi
we.Wedi dwhatwe
hadt odot osur v
ive.Doy ouknowt hatwe
woul dgoday swit
houtf ood.Wesl eptint he
streets.Xol aniZondi tookev er
ythi
ngfrom us.
Ourpar ents,themoney ,
thecarswewer eleft
withnot hi
ngbuteachot her.Wedidthef i
rst
cashhei sts,t
hent henextoneandwecoul dn'
t
stop.Thenwedeci dedtocont i
nuewi t
hschool
sowecanputonaf ronttopeople.Especi al
l
y
thepol ice."
"
Youhav
emoneynowsowhydon'
ty'
al
lqui
t"

"Qi
nisi
weyoujustdon'
twakeupanddeci
det
o
qui
tthisl
i
fe"

"
Hav
eyouev
erki
l
led"

*
*hel
ooksdownandhast
ear
sinhi
sey
es*
*

"
BabyIhadt
odowhatIhadtodo.I
nthi
sli
fe
y
oueit
herki
l
lorgetki
l
led"

*
mytear
sfal
l
.Ican'
thel
pitIcr
y.I
sitf
airofme
t
owanthi
mtostopli
vi
ngthi
sli
fe*

"
Whydoy
ouhat
eNat
hi"
"
Hisf
ami
l
yincl
udi
nghi
m ki
l
ledmypar
ent
s"

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m sosor
ry"Icr
yandl
ookathi
m.Hi
s
t
ear
saref
all
i
ngtoo

"
Onel
astquest
iondoy
oust
il
ll
oveme"

"
Mor
ethanIl
ovemy
sel
f"
.Hesay
sandIsmi
l
e.

"Doy
ouwantt
oaskmeany
thi
ng"Iask

*
henods*

"
Howdoy
ouf
eel
aboutAngel
bei
ngpr
egnant
"
"Tr
uthbetoldI'
m hur
tNkany ezi
.Iwas
supposedtobetheonetocar ryyourkidorkids.
I'
m notst
rongenoughbutI'm gonnatrynot
becauseIwanttobutbecauseIhav eto.Ij
ust
thi
nkI'
m gonnabesadwhenIseeherboast ing
aboutbei
ngpregnantwhereasIl ostmybaby .
Nkanyezii
tshardbutI
'm gonnatry"Isay

"
Thanky
ou"hesay
s

"Justtel
lhert
ostayinherl
ane.I
fshedoesn't
trustmeIwon'thesi
tat
etoslapt
heshitoutof
her"

*
hel
aughssohar
d*

"
Ifor
gothowr
atchety
oucanbe"
"Trymeandy ou'l
lseemytruecolour
s.Theold
Qinisi
weisgone.Nomor ecryingI
'm ol
dnowI
needt oactmyagei ft
hatmeansbeat i
ngup
somepeopl eformymant rustmeIwi l
l"

*
hesmi
l
es*

"Hav
eyouf
orgi
vent
hepeopl
efr
om y
ourpast
"
heasks

"Idon'
tknowbutIknowthatI'
m slowlymovi
ng
on.Imightf
orgi
vebutIdon'
tthinkI'
ll
ever
forget
.Youknowhowt hatfeel
sright?"

*
*Henods*
*

"
Lastquest
ion,
Woul
dyoul
ovet
omeety
our
f
atheroneday
"

*
Ilookathi
m notknowi
ngwhatt
osay
*

"
Idon'
tknow.Butwhent
het
imei
sri
ght
"

*
henods*

"
Ilov
eyou"hesay
s

"
Ilov
eyoumor
e"

"
You'
resexy
"hesay
s

"
Yout
oo"
"
Ili
key
ourass"hesay
s

"
Ili
key
ourabs"Isay

"
Youhav
ear
atchetv
agi
na"hesay
shol
dingi
na
l
augh

"
Thanksy
oual
sohav
eagangst
erpeni
s"

**
webot hburstouti
ntol
aught
erhecomes
cl
oserandkissesme**

"
I'
m hor
ny"hesay

"
Nkanyezi
thedoct
orsai
dIshoul
dheal
fir
stt
wo
weeks"
Henodsandl
ooksatme
"
Nkay
ezi
andQi
nisi
wef
orev
er"hesay
s

"Ti
l
lcheati
ngdouspar
taf
terIshoott
hebi
tch
andcutyourdi
ck.
"

Hel
ooksatmeandl
aughs

"
Quitbei
nganaccount
antandbeacomedi
an
l
et'
sgotobed.
.
..
..
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t27
Forsomeoddr easonIf eelal i
ttl
ebitli
ght
er.
Li
keaheav yloadhasbeenl i
ftedoffmy
shoulders.Waki ngupwi thQi nisi
wei nmyarms
i
st hebestf eel
ingint hewor l
d.Shehasherl i
ps
sl
ightl
ypout ed.Damnshel ookssocut e.Iget
offbedsl owlyandgot akeashower .Ihave
somet hi
ngIneedt ohandl eorImeansomeone
Ineedt ohandle.If oundTapssoIguessI '
m
ki
lli
ngsomeonet oday.

Igetoutoftheshower ,getdressedandl eave.I

don'
twantt owakeQi ni
siweitsstill
v er
yearl
y
andsheneedst orest.Igetinthecar .TheAudi
A5andl eav
e.I'
mlisteningtomyf avori
tesong

"
Theseni
ggasai
n'
tshi
t
Onl
ygotmy
sel
fandmybi
tch
Fuckwi
thmey
ougetabul
l
et
I
nthehead
Andt
henI
'
lll
i
einmybed
Whi
l
eyourf
ami
l
yissad"

Igett
ot hedest
inat
ion.Ski
tozi
sout
side
smoking.Igocl
osertohim.

"
Ski
tozmyni
gga"Isayandwef
istbump

"Hol
abraScarKi
ngNkanyezi
"hesay
sandwe
bothbur
stouti
ntol
aught
er

"
Uphi
lomsunu"

"
Hei si
nsidebutwest
il
lhav
etowai
tfor
MthunziandMsizi
"
"Speakoft
hedevi
l
s"MthuziandMsizi
arr
ive
andwegetinsi
dether
oom whereTapsishel
d.
Hei sti
edt
oachair
.Myeyesmeetshisandhe
frowns.

"
Shobi t
chWhatsupmyniggahowisli
fe"
mthunzisay
stoTapsandweallbur
sti
nto
l
aughter

"
Awki ngThabani
Tapszi
shaphi
ntanga"
Mthunzisay
s

*
weal
ll
aughagai
n*

"Noguyslet'
sbeser
ious.Tapswher
ear
emy
diamonds"Iask
*
hekeepsqui
etandl
ooksatme*

"
Okaysoyoudon'
twantt
otal
k,t
rustmebaby
y
ouwill
tal
k"

**ItakeasockandIput2gol fball
sinsi
deit
.I
starthit
ti
nghim onhisf
ace.Ihithi
m againand
againt i
l
lsomet eet
hfal
lfr
om hismout hheis
bl
eedi nghisnoseisbl
eedi
ng.Hei scryi
ngli
kea
bi
t chthatheis**

"
Youst
il
ldon'
twantt
otal
k"Iask

"
PleaseScar
"

"
Wher
ethef
uckar
emydi
amonds"
Igr
abhim bythethr
oat
.Heisnowcoughing
bl
ood.Igi
v ehi
m afewpunchesonhi
sstomach.
Heisgett
ingweak

"
OkayIdidn'
twanttodothisbutsinceyoudon't
wantt
otalkI'
mforcedtodothis.Skit
ozplease
f
etchhi
sdaughteratschool
.Iwill
..
."

"
Nonopl
easedon'
ti
nvol
vemydaught
erIwi
l
l
t
alk"

"
I'
mli
steni
ng"

"Nat
hihast
hem.Wewer
egoi
ngt oshar
ethem
buthehadt
oliel
owf
ornowbecausehedid
somethi
ngbad."
"
Howmanydi
amondsar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"

"
90di
amonds"hesay
s

"
Wher
eisNat
hi?
"Iask

"Hei
sinMozambi
que.Cr
aimbel
lRoad.House
no34.
"

*Il
ookatmybrot
herstheyknowwhatt odo.
Msizi
nodsandgoes.Youalreadyknowwhere
heisgoi
ng*

"Ai
Tapsthanky ouboybutyouknowyourt
ime
hascome.Ijustcan'
tbel
iev
eyouworkedwit
h
mynumberoneenemy "
*Ipull
outmykni fefr
om mypocket.Igot ohim
andlookathim.Ibendandl ookhimint heeye.
Itakemykni f
eandputi ti
nhisl
efteye.Iputit
i
nandpul l
theeyeout.Heisscreaming.Heis
bleedi
ng.Theey ecomesoutanddr opsont he
fl
oor.Ilookatitandcrushi
twit
hmyf oot.Heis
screaming.Thereisbl
oodcomingoutofhi s
eye

"
Youknowthesay
inganey
eforaney
e.Seey
ou
i
nhel
lbit
ch"

*
Mthunzipul
l
southi
sgunandshootsTapsi
n
t
hefor
ehead.Phewt
heni
ggaisdead**

.
..
..
..
..
..
Af
terourl
itt
leki
l
li
ngspr
eeIdeci
dedt
ogot
othe
of
fi
ce.Ineedtodosomework.

Myphoner
ingsandi
tsmybabygi
rl

"
SthandwaSam"Isay

"
Whydi
dn'
tyouwakemeNy
ezi
"

"
Itwasst
il
lear
lymyl
ovehowdi
dyousl
eep"

"
Likeababy
.If
eel
saf
einy
ourar
ms"
.shesay
s

"Nam Isl
eepl
ikeababyaf
tereat
ingy
our
cooki
e".Isay
*
shegi
ggl
es*

"
Nyeziwhydoesev
ery
thi
nghav
etobesexual
wi
thyou"

"
I'
m amanphel
a"Isay

*
MyPAwal
ksi
n*

"
Babygott
ogo"Isay

"
Okayl
ovey
ou"shesay
s

"
Lov
eyout
oo"Isay

*
webot
hhangupandIat
tendmyPA*
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive
Waki ngupandnotf i
ndingNkany ezinexttome
mademesad.Imi sshim.Igetupandgot othe
shower .Ishoweranddr ymybody .Ilot
ionand
optf orashortandoneofNkany ezi
'sT-shirts.
Igodownst ai
rstothekitchen.Im cookingI
can'tletmymaneatt akeaway swhi l
eI'
m here.I
startwiththechopping.I'
m disturbedbythe
i
nt er
com.

"
Nkany
ezi
babyi
tsmeopenup"Awomansay
s

Whatt
hef
uck
"
Whoi
sthi
s"Iask

"
Thewomancar
ryi
nghi
shei
r"

OhIguessthisi
sAngel .Iopenthegateand
cl
osei t
.ImakesureIlockthedoorsoshewon't
bargeinwit
houtknocking.Shetri
estoopenthe
doorbutshecan'
t.Sheendsupknocki ng.I
don'topeni
mmedi at
elyIwaitforacoupleof
minutesbef
oreopening.Iopenandsheget si
n.

"
Uphi
UNkany
ezi
"sheasks

I
nyourmot
her
sass.Isayt
omy
sel
f

"
Atwor
k"
"
Ineedhi
m nj
ena"

"
Nx"Igoupst
air
sandl
eav
eherdownst
air
s.

Ical
lNkany
ezi
.Itr
ingsandhepi
cksup.

"
Myl
ove"hesay
s

"Thewomancarr
yingy
ourhei
risher
eandshe
sayssheneedsy
ou"
Isayandhangup.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
LedbyLov
e

I
nser
t28
*
***
***
***
*NARRATED*
***
***
**

Qinisi
wewokeup, tookashowerandgot
dressedi
naf ormal bl
ackdressjustbelowthe
knees.Si
xinchblackblockheelsredlipst
ick
andshelookedreallygood.Nkanyezigotinthe
room andlookedatQinisi
we.

"
Youl
ookgood"hesai
d

"
ThanksNy
ezi
Ial
sof
eel
good"shesai
d

"Youarel
uckyIdon'
tfeel
toogood"hesai
dthat
holdi
nghi
sstomach.

"
Awbabywhat
'swr
ong"
"Mystomachi snotokay.I'
m havi
ngcrampsit
s
asifsomeonei sbewit
chingme.Cany ou
pleasepostponeyourmeetingandtakecar
eof
mebabypl ease"hesaid

"HanoNkany eziIcan't.Thisisani mport

ant
meetingandIpromi sedmybossI '
llbethere.
SheisinBotswanaandshespeci f
ical
lyasked
mebecausesheseespot enti
alinme.Ipromi se
I
'll
comebackear lysoIcant akecareofyou
okay"shesaid

*
Nkany
ezi
pout
edhi
sli
pssul
ki
ng*

"I
'
llbebackokayIlov
eyou"Qini
siwesai
dwhil
e
gi
vinghim aki
ss.Nkany
ezist
art
edsqueezi
ng
herassandshemoaned.
"
Nyezi
letgopl
easeI
'
m gonnabel
atet
u"

*Heletgoofher
.Thrut
hi sNkany
eziwasn'
tsi
ck
buthedidn'
twantNkanyezimeet
ingXol
ani
Zondi.Yeshei
sQini
siwe'sfat
her
.*

Qi
nisi
wel
eftandt
ookt
heX6.Shel
ovest
hatcar
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
.

Qi
nisi
wearr
ivedatZondi
Manuf
acturi
ngand
wenti
nsi
de.ShewenttoTot
herecepti
on.

"Hel
l
o,uhm I
'
m heret
oseeMrZondi
I'
mfr
om
Smit
hAccountant
s"

"
Ohy
eshei
swai
ti
ngf
ory
oubutf
ir
stl
etmecal
l
hi
m"

Therecepti
onistcall
edMrzondi'
soff
iceand
tol
dhimt hatQini
siwehasarr
ived.
Therecept
ioni
stshowedQi
nisi
weMrZondi
'
s
of
fi
ce.

Qinisi
westoodoutsidetheoffi
cedoi
ng
breathi
ngexerci
ses.Sheknockedandabol
d
"comei n"camefrom theinsi
de.
Shegoti
nandMrZondi
stoodupf
rom hi
schai
r.

Hewasl ooki
ngatQi nisi
webecauseshe
remindedhim ofsomeone.Someonehehur t.
Someoneheabused.Someoneher aped.
ZaneleNkosi.Qini
siwelookedexact
lyli
keher
l
atemot her
.Herey es.Hercomplexi
on.Her
bodyandherv oice.
"Mrzondi"Shesai
dbutMrZondi
wasj
ust
star
ingatQini
siwe

"
MrZondi
"

"
Mrzondi
hel
l
o!"Shesai
dcl
i
cki
ngherf
inger
s.

MrZondi wasinhisownwor ld.Hewasst ar

ing
atQi
nisi
wewi t
htear
sfal
li
ngdownhi scheeks.
Hecouldn'tbel
eiv
ehiseyes.Qinisi
wealso
l
ookedlikehislat
edaughterNobuhlewhom
Lut
handoandNkany eziki
lled.

Qini
siwewentcl
osert
ohim andt
ouchedhi
s
shoul
derandhesnappedoutofi
t.
"
OhI
'
m sosor
ry"hesai
dwi
pinghi
stear
s

"
Noprobl
em butforami
nut
eIt
houghty
ou
wer
edeaf"shesai
dsmil
i
ng.

Helookedatherandt hatsmil
e.I
treminded
hi
m ofhisdaughter.Qini
siweandNobuhlelook
al
ike.Helookedatherandshest ar
tedbeing
uncomfortabl
e.Shethenclear
edherthroat.

"MrZondi
I'
m Qini
siweNkosiI
'
m her
eonbehalf
ofMrsSmith,
shecouldn'
tbeher
etoday
"she
sai
d

"Uhh..
mm. .
I.
..
it
sokayQi
nisi
wel
et'
sgetdownt
o
business"
Theytal
kedever
ythi
ngbusiness.Tobeclear
Qini
siwewasdoingall
thetalki
ngandMrZondi
wasjustl
ooki
ngather.Notev enl
ist
eni
ng.He
noddedbuthewasn'tl
ist
ening.
TimewasupandQi ni
siwegotupf rom herchai
r.
Sheextendedherhandf orahandshakeandMr
Zondialsoext
endedhis.Themi nutehetouched
herhandhefeltasharppainont helef
tsideof
hi
schest .

Hehel
ditandthepai
nhitr
eal
lybad.Hewas
f
ail
i
ngtobreat
he.Hefel
ldownandQinisi
we
wasri
ghtt
herenextt
ohim.

"MrZondihel
lo,
canyouhearme.Ohgodpl ease
don'
tlethi
m diebef
orehesignst
hiscont
ract"
shesaid.
Shewentoutsidecall
ingf
rohelp.Ever
yone
cameinrushi
ngi ntheoff
ice.Anambulance
wascall
ed.Qinisi
wewasr ightt
herenextt
ohim.
Theambulancecameandshegoti nitwit
h
him.
..
.

.
..
..
..
..
..

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Thruthbet ol
dIdi dnotwantQi nisi
wegoingto
thatmeeting.Ididn'
twanthert omeether
fatherj
ustasy et.ImeanI '
m stil
l t
ryi
ngto
processthenewsmy sel
fIdon'twanthergoing
throughthatpain.I'
m gonnatellherwhenI'm
readylet
'shopet hatfooldoesn'tbeatmetoit.
TrustmeIl oveQi ni
siwesomuchbutt hefact
thatsheisXolani Zondi'
sdaught erj
ustmakes
meangr y.IlovehersoIguessIhav etomake
Xol
ani
acceptmyl
obol
abef
oreki
l
li
nghi
m.

Itakeashowerandgetdr essedinablackt
ee
shirt
.Blackj
ean.Blackt
imbalandboots
everythi
ngblack.I
'
m gonnabet or
tur
ing
someonet oday.GUESSWHO? ?
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t28

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Yesmot herf
uckersIfi
nall
yf oundNat hi
.We
foundhiminMozambi quethankst oTaps.We
foundhimint heexacthouset hathewassai d
tobein.I'
m sohappyIcan' twaittodealwith
him.I'
m notgonnakillhi
mt houghj ustasyet.I
j
ustwantt otort
urehimf i
rst.
*
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

Nkanyeziandhisbr otherswenttot hehouse

wheretheykeptNat hi.Theygott hereandwent
i
nsideandf oundhi mt i
edt oachair.Beatenand
ful
lofblood.Hel ookedr eall
ybadandwhenHi s
eyeslandedont hebr ot
her shegotshitscared
becauseheknowswhatt heyar
ecapabl eof.

"Wel
lwel
lwel
li
fiti
sn'
tNat
hit
hel
unat
ic"Msi
zi
sai
d

Nkany eziwentclosertoNathiandgav
ehima
punchintheface.Hest art
edkicki
nghi
m and
thechairf
ell
.Hekeptonki ckinghi
m onthe
faceti
llhi
sbrothersstoppedhim.
"
Baforel
axdon'
tki
l
lhi
m nowwesti
ll
hav
eto
t
ort
urehimremember
"Nkoseny
esai
d

Nkany
ezi
wentout
sidecl
i
cki
nghi
stongue.

Hecamebackaf t
ersometi
mewit
hhi
s
knuckl
esbr
uisedandbl
eedi
ng.

"
Okaynowl
et'
spl
ay"Nkany
ezi
sai
d

Het
ookachai
randsati
nfr
ontofNat
hi

"SoMrZondiJuni
orwher
ethef
uckar
emy
diamonds"

*
Nat
hij
ustkeptqui
et*
"
Fir
stl
yyoust
ealmydiamonds.Theny
ouat
tack
mywoman, y
ourver
yownsister"

Nathi
'
seyespopaf
terhear
ingt
hel
ast
st
atement
.

"
W..
wh.
.what
"Nat
hisai
d

Nkanyezi
stoodupfrom hi
schairandgrabbed
Nathibyt
hethroat
.Nathiwasnowst r
uggli
ngto
br
eath.

"
Nkanyezi
stopitman"Lut
handoroar
edand
Nkany
ezitookhi
shandsoffNat
hi'
sthroat
.

"
YouknowNat
hiIwantt
oki
l
lyousobadbutI
can'tbecauseIdon'twantQinisi
wet ofi
ndout
thatyou'reherbrot
herandThatIki l
ledyou.I
can'thurtherli
kethat.ButIwil
ltort
ureyou.I
wanty oui nawheelchair
."Nkanyezisai
d

"Whatdoy
oumeanshei
smysi
ster
"Nat
hi
asked

"FusegMsunu,
youarei
nnoposi
ti
ont
oask
questi
ons"Mt
hunzi
said

"Weasky
ouanswerunder
stand?
"Lut
hando
asked

*
Nathikeptqui
etandMsi
zisl
appedhi
m wi
th
t
hebackofhishand"
"
Doy oufuckenunder
stand?
"Msi
ziaskedand
Nat
hi nodded

"YesQini
siwei
syoursi
sterbecausethat
excuseofamany oucall
yourfatherr
aped
Qini
siwe'
smotherandlef
therpregnant.
"

"
Nonotmyf
ather
"Nat
hisai
d

"
Didweaskaquest
ion"Nkoseny
easked

"
Likefat
herli
keson.
Sobeingar
api
str
unsi
n
t
hef ami
ly"Lut
handosai
d

"
Nat
hiwher
ear
ethedi
amonds"Nkany
ezi
asked

*
Nat
hir
emai
nedsi
l
ent
*
"Youknowwhaty oucankeept hebloody
diamonds.Igi vethem toy oudon'tbri
ngt hem
back.Onet hingthatpissesmeof fi
st haty ou
beatupmywoman.Youpeedonher .Youar e
thef uckenreasonshemi scarr
ied.Whatki ndof
amonst erareyou.Aren'tyouhappyt haty ou
kil
ledmypar ent
snowy ouki l
l
edmyki d.You
hav etopay "Nkanyezisaid

"Qi
nisi
wealsosai
dthaty
oubeatherwithabelt
sowear eal
sogonnabeaty
ou"Mt hunzisai
d

*thebrother
sal lt
ookt hei
rbel
tsoutandwent
closertoNathi.Allf
iveofthem st
art
edbeati
ng
him.Onhi sfaceonhi sbody.Theywerebeat
ing
theshitoutofNat hi
.*
"HAWEMA!GODHELP!I M SORRYPLEASETHE
DIAMONDAREATTHEMOZAMBI QUEHOUSE
PLEASESTOP!"Nat
hipl
eadedbutthebrother
s
werehav
ingnonofthat
.Theykeptbeat
inghim.
Hewasbleedi
ngandbruisedal
loverhi
sbody.

"Qi
nisi
weal
sosai
dyoupeedi
nher
"Lut
hando
sai
d

"SoIguesswehavetocutt
hepeni
s"Nkoseny
e
sai
dandal l
thebr
other
snodded.

Theyunti
edNathiandmadehi m stri
pof fhi
s
cl
othes.Hewasnownakedwi t
hhi sli
ttl
epenis
hangi
ng.Thebrot
herslookedathim andl ooked
ateachothert
hentheyburstoutintolaughter
.

"
Wh.
..
wha.
..
whati
sthat
"Nkoseny
esai
dwhi
l
e
l
aughi
ngwi
tht
ear
sinhi
sey
es.

"
WowMry
ouhav
easmal
lpi
pi"Mt
hunzi
sai
d

*
thebr
other
sjustkeptonl
aughi
ng*

"
Thi
sisnotnor
mal
youshoul
dseeadoct
or"
Msi
zisai
d

"
Tothinkyouwer ewal
ki
ngar
oundLikey
ouown
t
hefuckenwor l
dbutyouhav
ealit
tl
epenissi
es
man"Luthandosaid

"Nxyouar
eadi
sgr
acet
omanki
nd"Nkany
ezi
sai
d

*
Nat
hist
art
edcr
ying.
*
"Ahhbabydon'tcr
yyourpeniswi
llgr
owokay
nunus"Nkosenyesai
dandt hebr
othersl
aughed

"Ther
eisawitchdoctorIknowmay beIshould
giveyouhi
snumber s.Hespeci al
isesinpeni
s
growi
ng.Hewi l
lgi
vey ouat r
eet oplantandas
thetr
eegrowsthepeni swill
alsogr ow.Sodon'
t
crywegotyou"Nkany ezisai
d

Thebr
other
swer
einst
it
ches.

"
Okaylet
'swor
know"Lut
handosai
dwhi
l
e
l
aughi
ng

TheymadeNathit
olayonthebedfaci
ngup.
Theyt
iedbot
hhishandsandlegsonthebed.
Hewascr yingpleadi ngt
hem t
ost op.Nkanyezi
wor ehisglovesandt ookakni
fe.Hegr abbed
Nathi'
speni sbyf orcemakinghimt oscream in
pain.Nkany ezistar
t edcut
ti
ngit.Hecutitti
llhe
remov editall.Therewassomuchbl ood.Nathi
nowonl yhadbal l
s.Hewascr eaminglikeamad
person

"
Shoul
dIcutt
hebal
l
s"Nkany
ezi
asked

*
Thebr
other
snodded*

Nkanyezi
alsocutthebal
l
s.Nat
hinowhadno
peni
sandnobal l
s.

Luthandowentoutandcamebackwi tha
bucket.Thebucketcont
ainedboneeat
ingaci
d.
Hepour
editonNathi'
slegsandtheyall
wat
chedastheacidateNathi
'sf
leshandbones.
Nat
hidi
dn'
thavelegsanymorehehadt highs.
Hewon'
tbeabletowalkbuthewi l
ll
iv
e.

*Nathiwasl
osi
ngal
otofbl
oodandhewas
gett
ingweak*

Thebrot
her
stookhi
mtot
hehospi
tal
andl
eft
hi
mt her
e.

"Ihopey oualll
earnedsomethi
ngtoday
.Nev er
messwi t
hNkany eziorhi
swoman.Youwi l
ll
ose
mor ethanapeni s"Nkoseny
esaidandthe
brotherslaughed

Theyal
lwentt
otheof
fi
ce.
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t29

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

MrZondij
ustwokeup.Appar
entl
yhisbl
ood
pr
essur
ewasv eryhi
ghbutheisf
inenow.I
'
m
st
il
latt
hehospit
alwit
hhim.

"
MrZondi
Ihav
etogo"

"
Hawucan'
tyoust
ayal
i
ttl
ebi
tlonger
"

"
Unf
ort
unat
elyIcan'
t"

"
Iunder
standbutwhatcanIdot
othanky
ou"
"Youcansi
gnt
hecont
ractpl
ease"Isay
smirki
ng

*helooksatmeandsmil
es.Thi
smani s
handsomeshame.Heisoldyesbuty
ohhehas
thel
ooks*

"
Iwi
l
l"hesay
s

Isaymygoodby esandleave.Nkanyezihas
beencall
i
ngnonst op.I
tsprett
ylatenowsoI '
m
goingtomyplaceIdon'thavetheenergytobe
fi
ghti
ngwithNkanyezi.

Igeti
nmycarandgohome.
.
..
..
..
..
..

Igethomeandt heli
ghtsareon.I
'
m sure
Nkanyezi
isinsi
de.Iopenthedoorandli
keI
sai
dNkany ezii
sinsi
de.Looki
ngpissedashel
l
.

"
Hi"Isay

Hel
ooksatmebef
oreanswer
ing

"Wher
eoneart
hwerey
ouQi
nisi
wedoy
ouknow
howworr
iedIwas"

"
HawNy
ezi
somuchdr
ama"

"
Don'
tsaythatshi
ttomeuyezwa,
Ical
ledall
of
y
ourf
riendsandtheydi
dn'
tknowwher
ey ouare.
I
'vebeencall
ingyourf
ucki
nphonebuty
ou
haven'
tbeenpicki
ngup.Whatt
hefucki
swrong
withyou"hesaysshout
ing

"
Nkany
ezi
stopshout
ingandl
etmeexpl
ain"

"
Okayexpl
ain"hesay
s

"
MrZondigotsickdur
ingourmeeti
ngandIhad
t
otakehi
mt othehospit
al"Isay

*Hegiv
esmethedeadl
i
estst
areandst
art
s
paci
ngupanddown*

"Soyoulef
tmeandwentt otakecar
eof
anotherman.It
oldyoui
nthemor ni
ngthatmy
stomachisnotokayandyoulef
tmef oranot
her
man"hesay
s

*
aibowhyi
sNkany
ezi
bei
ngsodr
amat
ic*

"Nkany
ezit
hatmanisol
denoughtobemy
fat
hersoIshoul
dhavel
efthi
mther
etodi
e"I
ask

*helooksatmeandcomestowar
dsme
point
ingmewithhi
sfi
nger
*

"Fat
her!i
heSatanpleasedon'tt
estme.To
answeryourquest
iony esyoushoul
dhaveleft
him andcametomeI 'm al
sonotfeel
ingwell
"I
ask

"
OkayNkany
ezi
I'
m sor
ryt
ell
mewhati
swr
ong
wi
thy
ou"Iask

"
It
smypeni
s"

*
*Il
ookathi
m conf
used*
*

"
What
'swr
ongwi
thi
t"Iask

"I
twantsyouQi
nisi
weandnowIreal
l
ydon'
t
knowwhattodothat'
swhyI
'v
ebeencal
l
ingyou
nonstop.
"

*Il
ookathim andburstouti
ntol
aught
er.
Nkanyezi
iscrazyIt
ellyou*

"
Nyezi
youar
ecr
azy
"
"
PleasebabyI
'
llbegent
leIpr
omi
se"

*
hecomescl
oserandpi
cksmeup.Hetakes
met
othebedr
oom andther
esti
shi
stor
y..

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Qinisi
weshowedmef lameslastnight.Shewas
doingsomeot hershi
t.I'
m notcompl ai
ning
thoughI'
m happythatsheisfinal
lycomf or
tabl
e
aroundme.
Enoughaboutthatsot odayI
'm goingto
Capetownforbusiness.Ihav
en'ttoldQi
nisi
we
andIhavetoleaveinabout2hour s.FuckI'
m
gonnatel
lherwhenshewakesup.I
nthe
meantimeletmeshowerandmakesome
breakf
ast
.

.
..
..
..
..
.

Shecomest otheki
tchenlookingl
ikeafucken
goddess.Sheisweari
ngabl uemaxidress.
Damnshel ooksgood.I'
m star
ing.

"
PleaseMrMt
het
hwast
opst
arr
ing"shesay
s

"MissNkosi I
'
mjustappr
eci
ati
ngGod'
s
creat
ion"Isay

*shesmi
l
eswhi
l
ebl
ushi
ngdamnIl
ovet
his
woman*
"
Mmhy
oucooked.Iwonderwhy
"shesay
s

"Icookyoucomplai
n,Idon'
tcookyousti
ll
complainwhatdoyouwantfrom me"Isay
whilesmil
i
nglikearet
ard

"
I'
m notcompl
aini
ngI
'
mjustsuspi
cious"

"
Don'
tbet
hisi
sal
ll
ove"

*Weset
tledownandweeat.Letmet el
lyou
somet
hingI'
m notagr
eatcookI'
m sorr
y*

"
How'
sthef
ood"Iask
"
Great
".Icant
ell
shei
sly
ingshei
sst
ruggl
i
ng
t
oeatit
.

Ibur
stouti
ntol
aught
erIcan'
thel
pit

"
Doy
ouwantsomemor
e".

*
Sheshakesherhead*

"
Not
hankst
hispl
atei
sgoodf
orme"shesay
s

"Qini
siwewhatdi
dIsayaboutl
i
es"Iaskwhi
l
e
clenchi
ngmyjaws

"Okayokayyourfoodisreal
lybadbabe.I
ts
burnt,
itst
astel
ess.Nexttimedon'
tcookjust
wakemeupokay "shesays
*
webot
hlaughsohar
d.*

"
Mxm her
eIam t
ryi
ngt
ober
omant
ic"

"
Eishsorrymyl
ovei
tiswhati
tis"shesay
s
whil
elaughi
ng

*
Icl
earmyt
hroat
*

"
Ihav
etot
ell
yousomet
hing"

"
Okay
"shesay
swi
thherey
espoppedout

"
Uh.
.m"
"Nkanyezidon'
ttel
lmeyoucheat
edonme
again"shesaysandIl
ookather

"
Real
lyQi
nisi
wei
sthathowl
owy
out
hinkof
me"

*Shenowhast
ear
sinherey
es.Ai
shame
Qini
siwei
sacr
ybaby*

"
Ihav
etogot
oCapet
ownf
oraf
ewday
s"Isay

"
Oh"t
hat
'sal
lshemanagest
osay

*
Sheget
supandtakest
hedi
shest
owash
t
hem.Ij
oinher
*

"
Arey
ouangr
y"
"
No"

"Sowhyarey
ougi v
ingmeonewor
danswer
s"I
askget
ti
ngpissed

"I
'
m notangr
yIj
ustdon'
tknowwhatt
osay
."
Shesays

"
Babyi
tsonl
yfor5day
sthat
'
sit
"

"
Whenar
eyoul
eav
ing"sheasks

"
Int
wohour
sti
me"

"
Wow"
"
BabyI
'
m sor
ry"Isay

"Don'
tbeNkany
eziIj
ustwishyoutol
dme
sooner
"shesaysandthet
earsfal
lfr
om her
eyes

*
nowIf
eel
bad*
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t29

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Isweart
ogodIdon'
twanthi
mt ogo.Idon'
t
tr
usthi
m.Whati
fhedoesitagai
n.
"
It
scool
Nkanyezi
youcangoi
tsjustt
hatIf
eel
l
i
keyoushoul
dhavet
oldmesooner.
"

Heki ssesmehungr i
l
y.Hepicksmeupandput s
meont hetable.Pull
smydr essupandtakes
offmypant ies.Hetouchesmycookiesortof
playswi t
hit
.Heput shisfi
ngerinmeandst art
s
fuckingmewi t
hit.Hestar
sl i
cki
ngme.Hei s
l
ickingandf i
ngeringmeatt hesameti
me.I '
ma
moani ngmess

"
Ahh.
..
Nka.
..
fuck.
.f
u..
mmhh.
.y
ass"

Heputst wofingersinsi
demyeyespop.He
i
ncreaseshispaceandi sst
il
ll
icki
ngme.He
t
akeshi sfi
ngersoutofmeandput shi
stongue
i
n.Hei sli
ter
allyfucki
ngmewithhist
ongue
unti
lIrel
easeallmyj ui
cesonhi sface.Hestops
andcomest omyf aceandst ar
tskissingme
makingmet astemy self.I
tssal
ty.Hei ski
ssi
ng
meandput shisfingerinsidemeagai n.Heis
sti
l
lkissi
ngmeandf i
ngeri
ngme.Ohgodwhat
i
sthismandoi ngtome.

"
Mmmmmh.Nkany
ezi
.Mm.
.shi
...
."

Nextthi
ngIknowheispushi nghispenisi
nside
me.Hepushesitbutitdoesn'tgoin.Hetr
ies
agai
nbyf or
ceanditdoesthistime

"
Shi
t"hemoans

Hest
art
sof
fsl
owl
ytheni
ncr
easeshi
space.
"
I'
m nevergonnacheatony
ou"hesay
swhi
l
e
f
uckingme

"I
'
m goi
ngtoCapet
owntowor
kandt
hat
'
sit
okay
"hesaysandInod

"
Mmm.
.f
uck.
..
nyez
i.
..
"

"
Arey
ougonnast
opbei
ngacr
ybaby
"heasks

Mindyoui
vecomedli
ke4ti
mesandhest
il
l
f
ucksmethroughmyor
gasm

"
Qini
si
wear
eyougonnast
opbei
ngacr
ybaby
"

"
Yessss.
.mmh.
.ny
ez.
."
Hegoesf
ast
erandf
ast
erunt
ilhecol
l
apeson
t
opofme.

"
Fuck"hesay
s

Welookateachot
herandIsmi
l
eli
keaf
ucken
r
etar
d.

"
Yougood"
Inod

Hepi
cksmeupandwegot
otheshower
.We
ar
eki
ssi
ngandIgr
abhi
sdi
ck

"
Mmhhm"hemoans
Igodownonhi m andputhisdickinmymouth.
Ist
artofslowl
yandthenIincreasemypace.He
hashishandsinmyhairandispulli
ngmyhair
l
ikecrazy
.Isucksohard

"
Mmmhmm .
..
..
fu.
..
..
.f
uck.
..
baby
..
.shi
t.
..
."

Ideept
hroatandhepul
l
smyhai
rti
ght
er
"
Shi
t.
."

"BabyI'
m..
go..bouttoexplode"hesaysandI
suckhardti
llhereleaseinmymout h.If
eell
i
ke
pukingbutIswallowit.Igoupt ohi
m andki
ss
him.

"
Ilov
eyou"Isay
Hesmiles.Wef i
nishanddr
yourbodi
es.Lot
ion
andgetdressed.

Hecangonow
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

I
fIdi ednowIwoul ddieahappyman.Ij usthad
thebestsexofmyl i
fewi t
hthewomanIl ove.
YohQi ni
siwe'
sknowshowt ogiveagood
blowjobI'
m sti
l
l shocked.Wellsheist
akingme
tot heai
rpor
tandf unnythingsheissohappy.
Ai kodwamydi ckhast hateff
ect.

Il
ookather
.Shei
sbeaut
if
ul.I
fonl
ysheknew
howmuchIloveher.I
'
lldi
eandki
l
lfort
his
womanri
ghthere.

"Ican'
tbel
i
evewewon'
tbehav
ingsexf
orf
ive
days"hesays

"
Vel
eI'
ll
begett
ingmyperi
odi
nafewdaysso
wewoul
dn'
thavesexev
enify
ouweren'
tgoi
ng
t
oCapeTown"

*
Ilookatheramazed*

"
Soy
ouhav
eananswerf
orev
ery
thi
ng"

*
shenods*

Wegett
otheai
rpor
tandweki
ssasusual
.If
ail
tokeepmyhandstomy selfIfi
ndmysel
f
grabbi
ngherasssqueezi
ngit.Shemoans.

"
Nyezi
youhav
etogo"

"
It
sapr
ivat
ejetsonost
ress"

"
Nogobutf
ir
stl
et'
stakesomepi
cs"

Wet akepict
uresyohthisgallovest he
camer a.
Shetakesthebestpictures.Fi
nal
l
ywe
aredone.Weki ssfort
helasttime.

"
Don'
tdowhatIwoul
dn'
tdopl
ease"shesay
s

"Whatsucksomeone'
sdi
cki
ntheshower
"Isay
andshehitsmeonmychest
"
I'
m ser
iousNkany
ezi
Leonar
dioMt
het
hwa"

*Shei
sser
iousi
fshecal
l
smebymyf
ull
names*

"
Iwon'
tIpr
omi
semyl
oveIl
ovey
ouokay
"

Shenodsandt
henwedepar
t

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
*
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
*

Nomhl ewaschil
l
ingi
nherhouseandshecame
uponapostthatQini
siwe'
sposted3mi nut
es
ago.Itwasapict
ureofNkanyeziandherwith
thecapti
on
*Hei
sgoingtoCapeTownforfi
veday
sLord
howwil
lIsur
viv
e.Misshi
m al
ready *

Nomhlestoodupqui cklyandlaughedanev i
l
l
augh.Shetookherphoneandbookedaf l
ight
toCapeTownt hatleavestomor r
ow.Thiswas
herchancetoseduceNkany ezi.Sheisgonna
buysomepill
st odrughim orsomet hi
ngli
ke
that
.Shewil
l f
il
mt hewhol ethi
ng.

"Nkanyezi
Ihopeyouar
eready
"shesai
dto
hersel
fsmili
ng.

Shewentupst
air
sandpackedherbags.

"
Whetheryouli
kei
tornotQi
nisi
we,
Nkany
ezi
wi
ll
bemi ne"
.
..
..
..
..
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t30

OnethingthatIalwaysdowhenI '
m her
ein
CapeTowni sIchillwi
thmyCapebuddyVusi .
Yohthatni
ggai scrazybutIl
ovespendingti
me
withhi
m.Hei sjustli
keNkosenye.No
Nkosenyeiswor seshameitsl
ikehiscr
aziness
escal
atesdail
y.

SoyeahIarr
ivedy
ester
dayatabout4oclork
andIgothomeandsleptIwastooti
red.Ijust
wokeupandIhavetogot oameeti
ngsoI
guesst
hat'
swhatI'
m gonnnadobutfir
stletme
cal
lmybaby.
I
tri
ngsandshepi
cksupaf
tert
he4t
hri
ng

"
Nyezi
"shesay
s

"
Himyl
ove,
howar
eyou"

"
I'
m good,
you?
"

"
I'
m okayj
ustmi
ssi
ngy
ou.
"

"
Mhhhhhh"i
sshest
il
lmadatmeIt
houghtwe
wer
efi
ne.

"
Sodon'
tyoumi
ssme"Iask

"
Ali
tt
lebutI
'
mjustf
ocussedonmywor
k"she
say
s.

"
Oucht
hat
'shur
t"

"Qi
nisi
weareyoureadyt
og..Ohsor
ryyouare
onthephone"someonesay
sinthebackgr
ound.
I
tsaguy svoi
ce

"Qi
nisi
wewhothef
ucki
sthat
"IaskasIst
and
upfrom mybed

"
Uhm l
ookl
ovegot
tago.Tal
klat
er"shesay
s

"Qinisi
wedon...
."Shehangsupt hephone.Lord
pleasetellmeI'
m beingpranked.Don'
ttellme
Qinisiwehungupt hephoneonme.Wai tshedid.
Itrycall
ingherbutitj
ustri
ngsunanswer ed.
*PleaseNyezist
opoverr
eact
ing.ThatwasMike
mycol l
eague.Weareinameetingwithsome
cli
ent.Lov
ey oul
oads *
That'
sthemessageshesentt
ome.Ismi
l
ebut
I
'm st
il
lpi
ssed

*Hebet t
erbey
ourcoll
eagueorel
seI
'
llcuthi
s
dick.AskNZhewil
ltel
lyou *

NZi
sNat
hibyt
hewaybutshedoesn'
tknow
t
hat

*
Whoi sNZ?*ShesendsthatmessageIj
ust
l
augh.Ait
hisgi
rll
ovesnews

*
Noone.Il
ovey
ou.Acet
hatmeet
ingmy
Queen *Iswi t
choffmyphoneandgotot
he
shower
.Ihav
et ogetr
eadyIal
sohavea
meeti
ngtoatt
endinli
keanhour.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

*
***
***
***
***
**NARRETED*
***
***
***

Nomhlewasatherfr
iendspl
acei
nCapeTown.
Shearr
ivedl
astni
ghtandshewascooki
ngup
herpl
an.

"
Heybit
ch"herf
ri
enddi
stur
bedherf
rom her
t
hought
s

"
AimanSi
hledon'
tscar
emel
i
ket
hat
"
"
SoNomhl
ewhatbr
oughty
out
hissi
de"

*t
heyl
ookedateachot
herandNomhkesmi
l
ed
andbl
ushed*

"
Someone"shesai
d

"
Someonel
i
ke?
"

"
Okaypr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tj
udgeme"

"
Bit
chI
'vebeensucki
ngdi
ckal
lmyl
i
feandhav
e
y
oueverjudgedme"

*
Nomhl
eshookherhead*
"
Okaysomyf ri
endi sdatingt hi
sguythatIli
ke.I
r
eall
yli
kehiminfactIlovehi m.Hehast hi
s
t
hingabouthi
m.Hei stallheisdark.Heis
l
oaded.Letmetellyousomet hi
ng, t
heniggais
f
ineashell
.Thethingi shedoesn'tnoti
ceme.
I
tsli
keIdon'
texi
st.Ir eal
lylovehim myfri
end"

"
Ohwowsowhati
syourpl
an"

"
Idon'
tknow"

"
SodoIknowhi
m?"

"
Noy
oudon'
t
"

"
What
'shi
sname"
"
Nkany
ezi
.Nkany
ezi
Mthet
hwa"

*
Sihl
elookedatnomhl
eandscr
eamed*

"
YoumeanTheeNkany
ezi
Mthet
hwa"si
hlesai
d

"
Soy
ouknowhi
m"

"Nomhleofcour
ceIknowhi m.Heisfri
ends
withVusiandVusiandIarefuckbuddi
essoI
knowhim.Whenev erNkanyezii
sherei
nCape
Townt heyusual
lyhangoutatthePubsoy eah
Iknowhim"

"
Real
l
y?"

"
YesOMGIcan'
tbel
i
evey
ouar
eaf
tert
hatguy
.
Heusual
l
yfucksandl
eavessoIdon'
tthi
nkhe
wi
ll
wanttobeinarel
ati
onshi
pwit
hyou."

"
Somuchf
orsuppor
t"Nomhl
esai
d

"
Sor
ryf
ri
endbuti
tiswhati
tis"

"
Soareyougonnahel
pmebr
eakhi
m upwi
th
Qi
nisi
weandbewithme"

"Idon'
tknowbutIst
il
ldon'
tbel
i
eveNkany
ezi
hasagirl
fri
end.
"

*
Theyst
ayedi
nsi
l
ence*

"
Igotit
.Hewi
llpr
obabl
ybeatthePubwithVusi
t
onight
.Sowi
l
lspikehi
sdr
ink.Takehi
m home
wit
hy ouandwil
ltakepictur
esofyouandhimin
bedthensendthem tohisgir
lf
ri
end"si
hlesai
d
andNomhl esmil
ed

"That'
sper
fectbutwewon'tuset hepict
ures
nowbecauset hatwi
llbesuspi
cious.Iwantto
actasifI
'mtheinnocentonesoy eah"Nomhle
said

"Uhhm j ustsomeadv i
ce.I
fyougetcaught
pleasedon' ti
nv olv
eme.Nkany ezii
sr ut
hless.
Thatni ggaishear tl
ess.I
fhereall
yloveshis
girl
fr
iendandhef i
ndsoutthatwear ethe
reasont heybr okeuphewon' thesi
tatetokil
lus
sopl ease.I'
llhelpyoubutdon'ti
nvolveme"

*
Nomhl
ejustl
aughed*
"
OhpleaseNkany
eziwoul
dn'
thur
taf
lyhei
snot
t
hatt
ype"Nomhlesai
d

.
..
..
..

I
tsbeenawhi
l
ey'
al
l!
!Cont
inuat
ionl
ater
.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t30

*
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
***
*

Nkanyezii
sgetti
ngready
.Heknowsforsur
e
t
hatVusi wi
llwantt
ogottot
hePub.Hedecides
t
ocallhim.Itri
ngsandhepi
cksupaft
erthe4th
r
ing.
"
Sur
eni
gga"Nkany
ezi
say
s

"
Hol
abaf
owhat
sup"

"
I'
m gooddawgsowhat
'shappeni
ng"

"
Youal
readyknowt
hePubi
tis"

"
Il
lfet
chy
'al
lseey
oui
naf
ew"

"
ShocaseNkany
ezi
"

Hehangsupandf
ini
sheswhathewasdoi
ng.

Hei
snowdrivi
ngt
oVusi'
shousetof
etchhi
m.
Heget
sther
eandtheydr
ivet
ofet
chthei
rot
her
fr
iends.ThaboandQ.Theyt
aket
hem andt
hey
dri
vetothePubt oget
her
.

.
..
..
..
..
.

TheygettothePubandgot othei
rtable.Ful
lof
booze.Per
ksofbeingri
ch.Theysettl
edown
andyohit'
sbouttogetl
it
.

"SoNkany
ezi
,Nkoseny
etel
l
smey
ouhav
eagi
rl
now"Qsays

*Nkany
ezi l
ooksdownandsmi
l
es.I
not
her
waysblushi
ng*

"
Yahdawg"
"
Solet
'sbereal
.Ar
ey ouwit
hherbecausey
ou
l
oveherort
hatpussygood"Vusi
says

"
Every
thingisaboutpussyt
oyouVusi
Man"
Nkanyezisays

"
Youknowpussymakest
hewor
ldgor
ound"

*
Nkany
ezi
shakeshi
sheadl
aughi
ng*

"Wellj
ustsoyouknowi tsnotaboutpussy .Well
i
tisgoodbutI'm notwit
hherfort hat.Il
oveher
man.I'
mi nlov
ewi thher
.Ican'tevenexplainit
becausethi
sisalltoonewtomebutI '
m gonna
tr
y.Forheri
m gonnachangebr uhIloveher"

*
Thabo,
Vusi
andQl
ookedateachot
herand
l
aughed*

"
Udl
i
siwewena(
youar
ebewi
tched)
"Qsay
s

"Wellkeherl
oveport
ionseemstobewor
king
becauseIcan'
tgetenoughofher
"

Justastheyaret al
ki
ngaboutQinisi
we.Nomhl e
andSihl
ewal kinlooki
ngf l
yasfuck.Thei
r
outf
it
saretodi eforbruh.Nkany
eziandhis
squadarelookingatthem.Nkanyezican't
bel
ieveNomhl elookssogood.Herf r
iendtoo
buthekeepshi scool.

Vusi
rai
seshishandsignal
l
ingt hem tocome.
Vusi
andSihl
earefuckbuddiessoy eah.
NomhleandSihl
ecomet otheirtabl
eandsett
le
downwitht
hem
"
Guysthi
sismyfr
iendNomhle.Nomhlet
hisi
s
Q,
Vusi
,
ThaboaaandNkanyezi
"Sihl
esai
d

"
Hiev
ery
one"

"
WellIalr
eadyknowy
oubutHi
Nomhl
e"
Nkanyezisay
s

"
Wai
thowdoy ouknowher
?Wel
ll
etmeguess
y
ouf
uckedheronce"Qsay
s

"Nofool
,shei
sQi
nisi
we'
sfr
iend"
Nkany
ezi
says

"oht
hel
oveofy
ourl
i
fe"Thabosay
s
"
Yes"Nkany
ezi
say
ssmi
l
ing

.
..
..
..
..
..
.

Thenightissti
llyoung.Themusi cispoppi
ng.
Alcoholi
sflowing.Everyoneishav i
ngagood
ti
me.Forthef i
rsttimeNkany eziisgivi
ng
Nomhl esomeat t
enti
on.Hei stalki
ngand
cracki
ngjokeswi thher.Nomhle'slovefor
Nkanyezihasgr owntoanot herlevel.
Shecan'
twai
ttohav
ehi
minsi
deher
.

Nkanyezigoestothetoil
et.Everyoneelseis
danci
ngandmi ndingtheirownbusi ness.This
i
stheper f
ectchancetospikeNkany ezi
'
sdrink.
Shetakes4ofthepil
lsfrom herbag.Theyar e
cal
ledorgrai
n.Theymakey ouhornyandmake
youyearnforanorgasm asi nli
kenow.She
putsthem i
nthedr
inkandt
heymaket
hat
"hhl
l
"
sound.

Nkany ezicomesback.Takeshisdri
nkand
gulpsitdown.Hegoest othedancefl
oor
.Ina
fewmi nutehebecomesdi zzyandgoesbackt
o
sitnexttoNomhle.

"
AreyouokayNyezi
"Nomhl
esay
stouchi
ng
Nkany
ezi
'sthi
gh

Nkany
ezi
looksatherandt
heonl
yper
sonhe
seesi
sQi
nisi
we

"
Qini
si
wewhendi
dyougether
e?"

Nomhl
elookspuzzl
ed
"Don'
tanswert
hat,t
heonlyt
hingIwanti
stobe
buri
edinsi
deyourcooki
e"

Heget
supandt
akesherhand.

"
Niggasgot
tago"

"
Iknew,
onceapl
ayeral
way
sapl
ayer
"
Qsay
s

"
Nev
er,
myhear
tbel
ongst
oQi
nisi
we"

Nomhl
ewi
nksatherf
ri
end.

Theyexi
tandgeti
nthecaranddr
ivehome.
"Youalway
ssurpri
seme,
howdi
dyougether
e
sofastMankosi
"

Nomhl
esmi
l
es.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

TheygethomeandNomhl er
ushest othe
bedroom.Shesetsupthecamera.Nkany ezi
fol
lowsher.Therei
snotimeforforepl
ay.He
ri
psherdress.Takesof
fhiscl
othes.Putsona
condom.

Nomhl
eli
esi
nbedandNkany
ezi
ent
ersher
.

"
Ahhh"shemoans
Hest
art
sof
fsl
owandt
heni
ncr
easeshi
space

"
Shi
t.
.qi
ni.
..
.y
es.
.bab.
..
"Nkany
ezi
moans

Theybot
hcomeatt
hesamet
ime.

Nkanyezipi
cksherupandplacesher
.Assup
chestdownandfuckshersoohard.

"
Ahhhh.
.mmh.
.ny
ezi
"

Theybothcome.Hetakesouthi
scondom and
goestoher.Shest
art
ssucki
nghim sohar
d.

"
Shi
tt
tt
..
.y
es.
..
mmm.
.babe"
Sheissucki
ngl
ikeherli
fedependsonit.He
hashishandst
ightonherhai
r.Heisfucki
ng
hermouth.Hefi
nall
ycomesandsheswal l
ows.

Hetakesoutanot
hercondom.Pi
cksherupand
f
ucksherintheai
r.

"
Aahhhhh..
.Nkanyezil
ord"shecomesand
Nkanyezi
fuvksherthroughherorgasm.He
f
inal
lycomesandt heybothcoll
apseonthebed.

"
Ilov
eyouQi
nisi
we"

Nomhleissohappy.Herpussymaybesorebut
herhear
tisdanci
ngwithj
oy.Bestpar
tshe
fi
lmedthewholethi
ng.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t31

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Ohmyf ucki
nggod.Myheadhur t
s.Whatthe
fuckhappenedl astnight.Mybodyissore.I
havenev erexperiencedthi
stypeofhangoverin
myl i
fe.Idon'tevendr i
nkthatmuch.Irai
semy
headandI 'm sur
pr i
sedtofindsomeoneinmy
bed.Ili
ftupthebl anketandholyshi
tI'
m naked.
Nonol ordpleasedon' ttel
lmeIcheatedon
Qini
siwe.

Il
ookatt
heper
son.
"
WhatthefuckNomhl
e"Isayshout
ingandshe
wakesup.

"
Ohheybabe"

"Babemydickyoubit
chwhatt
hef
uckist
his"I
saygett
ingof
fbedandweari
ngmyboxer
s
whichareonthef
loor
.

"HawNkanyeziwhat'
sgoingonbaby "shesay
s
str
etchi
nghersel
f.Yohthisgi
rldi
sgustsme.

"Li
stenhereI'
m notyourbaby."I
'
m paci
ng
aroundtheroom.Myhear ti
sbeatingf
ast.What
thefuckhappenedlastni
ght.

WasIt
hatdr
unk?IknowIwoul
dn'
thav
esl
ept
wi
tht
hisbi
tchsober
.

Shegetsoffthebedandcomesclosertome.
Sheisbuttnaked.Yohshehasanicebody
though.

"Nyezi"shesaystouchingmydi ck.It
sal
ready
hard.Iclosemyey es.Shetakesof fmyboxer.
Myey esar ecl
osed,theonlypersonwho
appear sinmymindi sQini
siwe.Howshat t
ered
shewoul dbeifshef oundout.

IpushNomhl
eandgi
veherahotsl
ap.

"
AaaahNkany
ezi
whatt
hef
uck"

"
List
enher
eyouwhor
e.Iwanty
out
oweart
hat
r
agy oucalladressandleav
emyfuckenhouse.
I
'
m goingtot akeashowerandi
fIf
indyouhear
t
rustmey ou'l
lregr
eti
t.
"

Ileaveherwi t
ht earsinherey es.Igeti nthe
shower .Thewat erisf all
ingsof reelyonmy
body .Myheadst il
lhurts.Howcoul dIdot hi
sto
Qinisiwe.DidIev enuseacondom.Qi ni
siweis
alreadygoingt hr
oughal otwi tht heAngel
dramanowshei sgoi ngt obebr okenbyt he
factthatIsleptwi t
hherbestf riend.I'
m an
animal .Idon'tdeserveQi ni
siwe.

Ifi
nishshower i
ngandwrapat owel
aroundmy
waist.Igetbacktothebedr
oom andyohSatan
i
stest ingme.Thisbi
tchi
sstil
lonmybedcrying
herey esout.

"
Sisi
li
stenIdon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.Pl
ease
l
eav
eNomhl
eIdon'
thav
etheener
gyf
ort
his"

"
Nkanyezihowcouldyoudothi
s.Lastni
ghtyou
t
oldmey oulovemenowt haty
ouhav ef
ucked
meyouwantt oleav
eme"

*
Ilaugh.Li
ker
eal
l
ylaugh*

"Nomhlestopthi
sshit.Youareact
ingli
kea
highschoolki
dthatj
ustlosthervi
rgi
nit
yand
gotdumped.Stoppleaseyousoundpat het
ic"

"OkayIwonderi
fQi
nisi
wewi
l
lthi
nkIsound
pathet
ic"

I
hey
azi
I'
m bei
ngt
est
edbyt
hedev
il
"Nomhlegett
hef uckoutbit
ch."Isayandgr
ab
herbyherhai
r.Sheisscreaming.

"Iwoul
dneverdateyouev
enifyouwerethelast
womanonear t
h."It
hrowheroutsi
deandclose
andlockt
hedoor.

Ohfuckmychesthurt
s.Myheadhur
ts.Mhh
l
ord.1,
2,
3theni
tsli
ghtsout

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

I
'm havi
ngtroubl
eopeningmyeyes.If
inal
ly
openthem andIscantheroom.OhshitI
'm at
thehospi
tal
.ThereisThabo,
QandVusi.

"
What
sup"t
heyl
ookatmeandt
heyal
lat
tack
mewi
thhugs.

"
Stopwi
tht
hisGayshi
t"

Theyl
augh.

"WhathappenedNkanyezi
.Di
dyour
elapse"Q
asks.Ishakemyhead

"
Nobr
uhIhav
en'
ttouchedcocai
nei
n3y
ear
s"

"Butthest atewef oundy ouin.Yournosewas

evenbl eeding.Foam comi ngoutofy oumouth
bruh.Ithelpedt hatIhaveaspar ekeytoyour
houseorel seyouwoul dhavedi edl
ocked
i
nside"
SoyeahIhadadr ugpr
obl
em int
hepast.Itgot
real
l
ybadwher eIwasadmit
tedbecauseofan
overdosesoy
eah.

Thedoct
orcomesi
n.

"
MrMthethwaI
'm gl
adyouar
eawake.Sowe
f
oundsomeOrgrai
niny
oursyst
em."

"
Orgr
ainasi
nsexpi
l
ls"Qsay
s

"
What
'st
hat
"

"Orgr
ainissortofViagr
abuti t
sdangerous.It
causeshortterm amnesiaandt heonl
ythink
youthinkofissex.Unfor
tunatel
yy ouoverdosed
andthat'
swhyy ouwer ebleedi
ngandl ooked
l
i
keyouwerehav
ingasezui
re.Butdon'
twor
ry
y
ouarefi
nenow.Iwi
lldi
schargeyou
t
omorr
ow."

Heleav
esandI'
ml ef
tinmyownwor l
dthinki
ng.
Myfri
endsl
eav
et ooafteranhourandI'
ml ef
t
al
one.

Itakeoutmyphoneandcal
lSi
zwet
heownerof
thePub.

"
Whodawg"hesay
s

"
It
sNkany
ezi
dawgwhat
'sup"

"
OhwhatdoIowet
hispl
easur
e"
"
EISHIneedaf
avour
"

"
List
eni
ng"

"
Ineedl
astni
ght
sfoot
age.Al
lofi
t"

"
Consi
deri
tdone"

Hehangsup.Ir
ecei
vet
hef
oot
age.Iwat
chi
t.

"NcncncNomhl
eyoumessedwi
tht
hewr
ong
one"

If
ini
shwat
chi
ngi
t.

*
Myl
ovecan'
tcomebackt
omor
row.I
'
llbeback
nextweekMonday
.Lov
eyou*
That
'st
hemessageIsendt
oQi
nisi
we.
If
eel
sogui
l
tycan'
tseeherr
ightnow.
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t31

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Nkany ezii
shurti
ngmel ikeseriousl
y.Hewas
supposedt ocomebackl astweek.It
sbeen2
weeksnowandhest illi
sn'tback.Whenev erhe
cal
lsmehei sdist
ant.Hedoesn' tcr
acksjokes.
Het ell
smehel ovesmebutIdon' tbel
iev
ei t
anymor e.Whyisn'
thecomi ngback.Whatis
holdinghim orwhothefucki sholdi
nghim.
Ical
lNkoseny
eandi
tri
ngst
il
lhepi
cksup.

"
Makot
i"
Il
augh

"
SawubonaNkoseny
ehowar
eyou"

"
I'
mtopsandy
ou"

"I
'
m not.Wel
lI'
m nott
ryi
ngtosoundannoyi
ng
butwhat'
shappeni
ngwithNkanyezi
.It
sbeen2
weeks.Hewassupposedtobebackaweek
agobutno"

"Uhh.
.m Qi
nisi
weuh..
m Idon'tr
eal
l
yknow.But
hesaidheisgonnabebacksoon.Thebusi
ness
i
swhat '
sholdi
nghim butdon'
tworr
y"
"
Okayev
ent
houghIdon'
tbel
i
evey
oubuti
ts
f
ine"

IhangupandIcan'
tst
opthetear
sfr
om fall
i
ng.
Mysobsgetlouder
.Myhear
tissobroken.I
taket
hesi
delampnexttomybedandt hr
owi t
onthewal
l.

Itbr
eakssi ncei tsgl
ass.Ican'thelpitI'
m
tempted.Ipi ckthepiecesofgl ass.Il
ookatit.
Myhear ti
sbr oken.Itaket hepiceandstart
cutt
ingmyt highs.Onecutaf t
ertheotherandI
feelgood.Thephy si
cal painIcanbarebutI
can'
tdeal witht heemot ionalpain.

I
'mfinal
lysat
isf
iedwi
tht
hecut
sonmythighs.
Theyarenotdeepcut
sbutt
heyar
epai
nfulas
hel
l.Igetintheshower .I
magi nethepainIfeel
whent hewat ergetsincontactwithmycuts.
Pai
nful ashell.ButI
'm st
rongerthanIl
ook.I
candeal wit
hpai nwithasmi l
eonmyf ace.

If
ini
shshoweringandIlot
ion.Thecut
sarest
il
l
bl
eeding.It
akeColgat
etoothpast
eandappl
yit
onthecuts.

"OhJesus"I
'
m scr
eami
ngbecauset
hisshi
tis
notni
ceshame.

Ifi
nishapplyi
ngitandthebleedingstops.I
wearaj ean,braandasweat erwithsome
sneaker.Ihavemynatural
hai rsoIti
eitint
oa
bun.Ispraysomeper f
umeandI '
m off.

I
'
m goi
ngt
oZi
nzi
'
spl
acewear
ehav
ingsome
sor
tofdi
nner
.

.
..
..
..
.

Igett
hereandfi
ndt hem al
readyt
her
e.They
havecookedanditsmell
sdev i
ne.

"
Hiy
'al
l
"

"
HeyQ"Theysayexceptf
orNomhle.Thi
sbi
tch
i
sgiv
ingmeatt
it
udeandIreal
l
ydon'thav
eti
me
f
orhershi
t.

Zi
nzi
dishesupf
oral
lofusandweset
tl
edown.

*sor
rymyloveforl
eavi
ngyou.Ilov
eyouandI'
m
back.Can'
twai
ttoseeyou.Loveyoul
oads*
That
'sthemessageIgetf
rom Nkany
ezi
.Ismi
l
e
l
ikeafuckenr
etard.Myni
ggaisback

"
Ohandt
hatsmi
l
e"zi
nzi
asks

"
Theloveofmyl
i
fei
sback"IsayandNomhl
e
r
oll
shereyes

"
Nomhl
ewhat
'sy
ouri
ssuev
ele"Iask

"
Issueorpl
easesweet
y"

"
YouknowwhatIdonthav
eti
mef
orpeopl
eli
ke
y
ou"
"Youmeanpeoplewhoknowhowt omakea
niggahappy
"shesays.Il
ookather
.

"
Mxm"

"
Outherethi
nki
ngyouar
eBonni
eandCl
yde
wi
thathug"shesay
s

"
Guy
sst
opi
t"zi
nzi
say
s

"Nomhlewhat'
syourpr
oblem withNkany
ezi.He
i
smi nenotyour
s.SoIdon'tcar
eifheisathug.
Ilov
ehim"

"
Wellhedoesn'
tl
oveyou.Hewasbusyeat
ing
mypussyinCapet
own.Busyscr
eaminghe
l
ovesme"
Myey
espop.Thi
sbi
tchi
stest
ingme.

"
FuckyouNomhleokay.Youar
eawhor
e
f
ucki
ngdesper
atebi
tch"

"
Desper
atey
ousay
.Wel
lher
eissomepr
oof
"

Shethrowsherphoneatme.Thev
ideoi
s
paused.Ipl
ayi
t..
.
LedByLov
e

Shor
tBonus

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive
"
Aahhh.
..
Nkany
ezi
..
.Yass.
.mmhh"

"
Ahhy
assbaby
..
mhm.
.qi
n..
."

Ifi
nishwatchingthestupi
dvideo.Mytearsare
j
ustf al
l
ingfr
eely.Myheart.I
tfeel
sli
ke
someonei sstabbingit
.Il
ookatNomhl e.The
personIcall
myf r
iend.

"GoaheadQi
nisi
wekil
lyour
sel
f.Youar
esuch
anatt
enti
onseeki
ngwhorenowonderNkany
ezi
i
stir
edofyourugl
yass"

Thosewor dspiercer
ightt
hroughmyhead.
Zinzi
andThobi ar
ecryi
ng.Theyar
et heonl
y
peopleIconsidermyfamily
.Nkanyeziand
Nomhl etheycangotohell.
Ithrowthephoneatherandsheducksandi
t
fall
sandbreaksi
ntopieces.

"WowNomhl ey oujustl
osty
oursel
fafri
end.A
real
fri
end.Ihopeyouarehappywithyour
Nkanyezi
.Idon'twanthi
m bit
chyoucanhave
himfreeofcharge.
"

IhugZi
nziandThobi
"
Qini
si
wedon'
tgo"

"NoZinzit
rustmeIwon'tdoanythi
ngfool
ish.I
haveanieceonthewayr emember"Isayand
shechuckleswit
htear
scomi ngout

"
Ilov
ey'
al
l"
Igetoutandr
unt
omycar
.Howcoul
dhedo
thi
stome

*
Whodoy
out
hinky
ouar
e
*
youugl
ybi
tch

*
Nkany
ezi
deser
vesbet
terandNomhl
eisbet
ter

*y
ouareacurse.Yourmotherl
eftyouyour
gr
annyl
efty
ouandy ouf
atherhat
esy ou

*
youdeser
vet
odi
e

Thev
oicesi
nmyheadar
eget
ti
ngst
ronger
ButtodayI
'
m notgonnalett
hem ov
erpowerme.
Ineedtobreaksomet
hing.
"Fucky
ouNkanyeziIhat
eyou"Iscr
eam .I
'
m
alsoacry
ingmess.

It
akeoutmyphoneandsendNkany
ezi
atext

*
Wher
ear
eyou*

*
Atwor
kI'
l
lbebackatf
ive*

*
okay
*

Sot hatl
eavesmefi
vehour
stodosomet
hing
thatwill
giv
emeclosur
e.
Idr
ivet
oNkanyezi
'
shouse.Igetther
e.Open
andgeti
n.Ihav
ethekeystothehouseand
gat
epinsoI'
m sor
tedIdon'
thavetoworry
aboutt
heal
arm goi
ngof
f.

Ohi
tlookssoni
ceandcl
eanher
e.

Istarti
nthekit
chenandIst artbytaki
ngallt
he
glassesandplat
esof fthecupboardsandthrow
them onthefl
oor.Thewi nesandexpensive
whiskeyareonthefloor.Therearebroken
glassesal
loverthekitchen.

Igotothebasement.Nkanyezi
play
sgol
fsoI'
m
sor
ted.It
aketwogolfsti
cksandgobacktot
he
l
ounge.Istar
twit
htheTV

*BHA*theTVcr acks.Ihi
titagainti
l
litfal
ls.I
runbacktothekitchenandgetaknf e.Istart
cutt
ingandscratchingt
hesof as.Al
lofthem.
It
akebl eachandrunbackupstai
rstothis
ni
ggasr oom.Itakeoutal
lhiscl
othesfrom t
he
cl
oset.Ifil
lthet
ubwi t
hwaterandputhis
cl
othes.Ipourbleachont
hem andexit.

"
Nowwhatel
seshoul
dIdo,
ohy
eseggs"

It
aketheeggsandst
artt
hrowi
ngt
hem al
l
ar
oundthehouse.

Ohy
est
hegar
age.

Igotothegar agewiththegol fst

icki
nmyhand.
Ist
arhitt
ingthewi ndscreenofmyf avtheX6
butwishnol uckofitbreaking.OhIfor
gotthese
car
sar eall
bul l
etpr
oof.
Ther
eist
hex6,
I
8andr
angerov
er.

Irunbackt
otheki
tchenandgettheakni
feand
moreeggsandtomatosauceandoil
andtoi
let
paper.

Igobackt
othegar
age.
Ipourt
heoilonal
lthecar
s.Isqueezet
he
t
omatosauceandspreadsomepeanutbut
ter
..
ThenIrol
lthetoi
l
etpaperar
oundthecar
s.I
taket
heknifeandst
abthecarty
res.

Igobacktotheloungeandtakemyphoneand
bookafl
ight.Lucki
l
ytherei
saf l
i
ghtthatl
eav
es
at5toBotswanasol uckyme.Ibookit.

Wai
tletmewr
it
ehi
m al
ett
er.
*Nkany ezi
Mt hethwaIcan'tbeli
eveI'
m saying
thi
sbutIhat ey ou.Youdisgustme.Youar ean
excuseofaman.Youj ustl
ostar ealwoman
whol ovesyouandwhowoul dhav edone
every
t hi
ngfory ou.Ihopeyouar ehappy.You
asshole.Fuckingass.BYEFELI CIA*

Il
eaveandgobackt omyhome.Par kt
hecar
andrushupstair
stopackmyclot
hes.I
'
m done
i
n30mi nutes.Igobacktomycaranddri
vet
o
Zinzi
'spl
ace.

"
Qini
swe"

"
List
enZi
nziIdon'
thaveenought
imepl
ease
t
akemetotheairpor
t"
.
..
..
.

Shetakesmetot
heair
por
twi
thmet
ell
i
ngher
ever
ythi
ngint
hecar
.

"
Zinzi
pleasedon'
ttel
lNkany
ezi
"

"
Don'twor
ryIhat
ehim.I
'
llgi
vehi
m api
ceofmy
mindwheniseehim"

"
Ilov
eyou"
It
akeoutmyphoneandsendNkany
ezi
atext
*youhaveasmal
ldi
ck*It
akeoutmysi
mcar
d
andthrowi
taway
Wehugandshehelpsmewi
thmyl
uggage.I
l
eav
eherther
ecry
ing.
Bot
swanaher
eIcome

.
..
..
..
..
.

Aweekl
ater

Wellyeahitsbeenaweek.Ofhavingabroken
hear
t.Im goingtoanint
ervi
ewbecauseIhave
bi
ll
ssoIneedaj ob.I
m al
readydr
essedsoI'm
goodtogo.

.
..
..
..
..

Idon'
tknowi
fit
smebutt
hisr
oom i
sspi
nni
ng

"
Miss"
"
Miss"

Il
ookatt
hiswomancal
l
ingme
"
You'
renext
"

Igetupandthi
sroom i
sreal
l
yspi
nni
ng.If
eel
l
ike1,2,
3li
ght
sout
.
..
..
..
..
..
.

"
Mmhh"ohmygodmyheadhur
ts.Whatt
he
f
uckhappened.

Iscant
her
oom andhol
yshi
tI'
m att
hehospi
tal
.

Thedoct
orget
sint
her
oom.Ahotdoct
orat
t
hat
.

"
MissNkosi
youar
eawake"

Duh.Inod

"
Docwhyam Iher
e?"

"Wellmissyouf
aint
ed.Youar
esi
xweeks
pregnant.
..
."

Idon'
trememberwhathesai
dnext.Onewor
dI
caughtandi
tsst
il
lri
ngi
nginmyheadis
PREGNANT.

I
'
M PREGNANT
.
..
..
.

Seey
'al
lonFr
iday
LedbyLov
e

I
nser
t32

Nkany
ezi
'sper
spect
ive

"Whatthefuck"t
hat'
stheonl
ythi
ngImanaget
o
utteraasIopenthedoorandfi
ndmyhouse
fuckentr
ashed.
Whot
hef
uckdi
dthi
s.

Igeti
nsi
deandy
ohev
ery
thi
ngi
sfuckedup.
Brokengl
assesonthefl
oor.Eggs.My
expensi
vel
eathersof
asarefuckedupaswel
l
.

Ir
unupst
air
sandmycl
oseti
sempt
y.
Wher
ethef
uckar
emycl
othes.

Irunbackdownst
air
sandgost
rai
ghtt
othe
garage.
Whatt hefuck.BlackJesuswhocoul ddosuch
athing.Peanutbut ter
,t
oil
etpaper
,eggsand
somer edliqui
dal lovermycars.Myexpensive
cars.Thankgodt heyar ebul
letpr
oofbutsti
l
l
whoev erdidthisdoesn'tknowNkany ezi
Mthethewa.

Igobacktothel
ounge.I
'
mf umi
ngrightnow.I
takeoutmyphoneanddial
Nkoseny
e'snumber.
"
Aibobafoyouj
ustsawmeri
ghtnow"t
hat
'
s
whathesay
sasheanswerst
hephone

"Fusegwenabr
uhsomeonef
uckedmyhouse
up."

"
Nkany
ezi
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ory
ourgames"

"Nkosenyedoesitsoundli
keI
'mfucki
ngj
oki
ng
I'
m seri
ousbruhcomet hr
oughweneedtofi
nd
thesefucker
sseri
ouslysomeonewantst
odie
atthi
st i
meofthey ear
.

"Ar
eyouser
ious"

"Li
keafuckenhear
tat
tack"Isayt
hatandmy
eyesmoveandf i
ndapieceofpaperonthe
f
loor
.Igot
oitandpi
cki
tupandst
artr
eadi
ngi
t.

"
Nononono"IsayandI'
m paci
ngupanddown
myhear
tbeat
ingoutofmychest

"
Nkany
ezi
what
'sup"

"
I'
ll
cal
lyoul
ater
"

"Nka.
..
"Ihangupanddial
Qini
siwe'
snumber
anditgoesstr
aightt
ovoi
cemai
l.

"
Thi
sisQini
siweI
'
m notavai
l
abl
eri
ghtnowbut
y
oucanleaveamessage"

Ithr
owmyphoneonthewallandi
tcr
ashes.So
sheknows.Ohl
ordwhatdi
dIdo.
Igr
abmycarkey
sandr
unt
othedoor
.Getout
andgeti
nmycar.

.
..
..
..
..
..

"Qini
siwe"Iknockhar dbutthereisnoanswer.
Thelightsareof f
.Hercarisn'
tinthegarage.I
prayshedoesn' tdoanythingstupi
dlikeki
ll
ing
herselfbecausebestbelieveI
'l
lfoll
owher.I
takeoutmyphoneandt rackhercar.In10
secondsIgett helocati
on.Wait.Sheisat
Zinzi
'shouse.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Aweekl
ater
I
tsbeenaweekandIhav en'thear dfr
om
Qi
nisi
we.Itslikeshedisappear ed.Myhear tis
br
okenr i
ghtnow.IknowIdon' thav etherightto
beheartbrokenbutsheshoul dhav eatleast
gi
venmeachancet oexplain.IloveherandI
mademi stake.Itwasn'
tev enmyf aul
t.Iwas
dr
ugged.WhatNomhl edidwasr apestrai
ght.

Ihadt obuynewclothesbecauseQi
nisi
we
bleachedall
myclothes.
IwenttoZinzi
'splacethatotherdayandy oh
sheshowedmef lames.Irespectpregnant
women.Shechasedmeoutofherhousewi tha
knif
eandy ohIranformyl if
e.Shewashur tand
sti
lli
s.SheisLikeQini
siwe'ssist
ersoifIhurt
Qini
siweIhurther.

Imi
ssmyQueen.Ihav
emyguy
slooki
ngf
orher
allovert
hecountrybutl
ikeIsaid,i
tsli
keshe
disappear
ed.Sheisnowheret obef ound.Ij
ust
prayandhopet hatshei
sfine.Ifanythi
ngwas
tohappent oherIdon'
tthi
nkI'l
lbeabl eto
forgi
vemy sel
f.

Ohsomeonehast
obedeal
twi
thIf
orgot
.

It
akeoutmyphoneandcal
lSki
toz

"
Bozza"hesay
sanswer
ingt
hephone

"St
opcal
l
ingmet
hatpl
ease.Li
stenIneedy
ou
hel
p"

"
Justsayt
hewor
d"
"Ineedtwodeadbodi es.Brut
all
ykil
l
edt obe
foundinaBMW 2ser iesI'l
lsendyouthe
numberpl at
e.Ial
sowant4packs500gr amsof
hardcorecocai
ne.Iwantanunl i
cencedgun
alsofound.Andaler
tthepol i
ceaboutthatcar
"

"
Sur
ewhen"

"
Around5becauset
heper
soni
satwor
k."

"
Okaysendmet
henumberpl
ate"

"Sho"Ihangupandsendthenumberplate.I
dialanot
hernumberusi
ngaburnerphone.

I
tri
ngsandsheanswer
sli
keshewasexpect
ing
mycal
l.
"
Hel
l
obeaut
if
ulNomhl
e"

"
Nkany
ezi
"Icant
ell
shei
sbl
ushi
ng

"
Howar
eyoupr
incess"

"
I'
m goodnowt
haty
ou'
vecal
l
ed"

"Ij
ustwant
edtohearyourvoi
ceandapologi
se
forsl
appi
ngyouandcall
ingyouawhor ei
n
CapeTown.Idi
dn'
tmeani tQi
nisi
we'
slove
porti
onwasshowi
ngmef l
ames"

*
shel
aughs*
"Li
stenbabygir
l,pl
easecometomyhouset
his
aft
ernoonIreal
lyneedtoseey
ou"

"Uhmm okayIwi
l
lcomear
ound5becauseI
'
m
sti
ll
atwork"

"
OkayI
'
llbewai
ti
ngandohNomhl
e"

"
Yes"

"
Iwouldreal
lyl
oveiti
fwecoul
dgiv
et hi
slov
e
t
hingashot.YouknowIr
eall
yli
keyou"

"
Real
l
y?"

"
List
enwewi
l
ltal
kwhenwegether
e.Ar
ound5"
"
Sur
ethi
ng"

Webothhangup.Ipourmy
sel
fsomewhi
skey
andgul
pitdown.

"
It
sshowt
ime"

.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Seey
'al
lFr
iday

LedByLov
e

Shor
tBonus
Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

"
Aahhh.
..
Nkany
ezi
..
.Yass.
.mmhh"

"
Ahhy
assbaby
..
mhm.
.qi
n..
."

Ifi
nishwatchingthestupi
dvideo.Mytearsare
j
ustf al
l
ingfr
eely.Myheart.I
tfeel
sli
ke
someonei sstabbingit
.Il
ookatNomhl e.The
personIcall
myf r
iend.

"GoaheadQi
nisi
wekil
lyour
sel
f.Youar
esuch
anatt
enti
onseeki
ngwhorenowonderNkany
ezi
i
stir
edofyourugl
yass"

Thosewordspi
ercer
ightt
hroughmyhead.
Zi
nziandThobi
arecryi
ng.Theyar
etheonl
y
peopl
eIconsidermyf
amil
y.Nkany
ezi
and
Nomhletheycangotohel
l
.

Ithrowthephoneatherandsheducksandi
t
fall
sandbreaksi
ntopieces.

"WowNomhl ey oujustl
osty
oursel
fafri
end.A
real
fri
end.Ihopeyouarehappywithyour
Nkanyezi
.Idon'twanthi
m bit
chyoucanhave
himfreeofcharge.
"

IhugZi
nziandThobi
"
Qini
si
wedon'
tgo"

"NoZinzit
rustmeIwon'tdoanythi
ngfool
ish.I
haveanieceonthewayr emember"Isayand
shechuckleswit
htear
scomi ngout
"
Ilov
ey'
al
l"

Igetoutandr
unt
omycar
.Howcoul
dhedo
thi
stome

*
Whodoy
out
hinky
ouar
e
*
youugl
ybi
tch

*
Nkany
ezi
deser
vesbet
terandNomhl
eisbet
ter

*y
ouareacurse.Yourmotherl
eftyouyour
gr
annyl
efty
ouandy ouf
atherhat
esy ou

*
youdeser
vet
odi
e
Thev
oicesi
nmyheadar
eget
ti
ngst
ronger
ButtodayI
'
m notgonnalett
hem ov
erpowerme.
Ineedtobreaksomet
hing.

"Fucky
ouNkanyeziIhat
eyou"Iscr
eam .I
'
m
alsoacry
ingmess.

It
akeoutmyphoneandsendNkany
ezi
atext

*
Wher
ear
eyou*

*
Atwor
kI'
l
lbebackatf
ive*

*
okay
*

Sot
hatl
eav
esmef
ivehour
stodosomet
hing
t
hatwi
l
lgi
vemecl
osur
e.
Idri
vet
oNkany ezi'
shouse.Igetther
e.Open
andgetin.Ihavethekeystot hehouseand
gatepi
nsoI 'm sort
edIdon'thavetoworry
aboutt
heal arm goingof
f.

Ohi
tlookssoni
ceandcl
eanher
e.

Istarti
nthekit
chenandIst artbytaki
ngallt
he
glassesandplat
esof fthecupboardsandthrow
them onthefl
oor.Thewi nesandexpensive
whiskeyareonthefloor.Therearebroken
glassesal
loverthekitchen.

Igotothebasement.Nkanyezi
play
sgol
fsoI'
m
sor
ted.It
aketwogolfsti
cksandgobacktot
he
l
ounge.Istar
twit
htheTV
*BHA*theTVcr acks.Ihi
titagainti
l
litfal
ls.I
runbacktothekitchenandgetaknf e.Istart
cutt
ingandscratchingt
hesof as.Al
lofthem.

It
akebl eachandrunbackupstai
rstothis
ni
ggasr oom.Itakeoutal
lhiscl
othesfrom t
he
cl
oset.Ifil
lthet
ubwi t
hwaterandputhis
cl
othes.Ipourbleachont
hem andexit.

"
Nowwhatel
seshoul
dIdo,
ohy
eseggs"

It
aketheeggsandst
artt
hrowi
ngt
hem al
l
ar
oundthehouse.

Ohy
est
hegar
age.

Igot
othegar
agewi
tht
hegol
fst
icki
nmyhand.
Ist
arhi
tt
ingthewi ndscreenofmyf avtheX6
butwi
shnol uckofitbreaking.OhIfor
gotthese
car
sareall
bul l
etpr
oof.

Ther
eist
hex6,
I
8andr
angerov
er.

Irunbackt
otheki
tchenandgettheakni
feand
moreeggsandtomatosauceandoil
andtoi
let
paper.

Igobackt
othegar
age.
Ipourt
heoilonal
lthecar
s.Isqueezet
he
t
omatosauceandspreadsomepeanutbut
ter
..
ThenIrol
lthetoi
l
etpaperar
oundthecar
s.I
taket
heknifeandst
abthecarty
res.

Igobackt
othel
oungeandt
akemyphoneand
bookafl
ight.Lucki
l
ytherei
safli
ghtthatl
eav
es
at5toBotswanasol uckyme.Ibookit.

Wai
tletmewr
it
ehi
m al
ett
er.

*Nkany ezi
Mt hethwaIcan'tbeli
eveI'
m saying
thi
sbutIhat ey ou.Youdisgustme.Youar ean
excuseofaman.Youj ustl
ostar ealwoman
whol ovesyouandwhowoul dhav edone
every
t hi
ngfory ou.Ihopeyouar ehappy.You
asshole.Fuckingass.BYEFELI CIA*

Il
eaveandgobackt omyhome.Par kt
hecar
andrushupstair
stopackmyclot
hes.I
'
m done
i
n30mi nutes.Igobacktomycaranddri
vet
o
Zinzi
'spl
ace.

"
Qini
swe"
"
List
enZi
nziIdon'
thaveenought
imepl
ease
t
akemetotheairpor
t"

.
..
..
.

Shetakesmetot
heair
por
twi
thmet
ell
i
ngher
ever
ythi
ngint
hecar
.

"
Zinzi
pleasedon'
ttel
lNkany
ezi
"

"
Don'twor
ryIhat
ehim.I
'
llgi
vehi
m api
ceofmy
mindwheniseehim"

"
Ilov
eyou"
It
akeoutmyphoneandsendNkany
ezi
atext
*youhaveasmal
ldi
ck*It
akeoutmysi
mcar
d
andthrowi
taway
Wehugandshehelpsmewi
thmyl
uggage.I
l
eav
eherther
ecry
ing.

Bot
swanaher
eIcome

.
..
..
..
..
.

Aweekl
ater

Wellyeahitsbeenaweek.Ofhavingabroken
hear
t.Im goingtoanint
ervi
ewbecauseIhave
bi
ll
ssoIneedaj ob.I
m al
readydr
essedsoI'm
goodtogo.

.
..
..
..
..
Idon'
tknowi
fit
smebutt
hisr
oom i
sspi
nni
ng

"
Miss"

"
Miss"

Il
ookatt
hiswomancal
l
ingme
"
You'
renext
"

Igetupandthi
sroom i
sreal
l
yspi
nni
ng.If
eel
l
ike1,2,
3li
ght
sout
.
..
..
..
..
..
.

"
Mmhh"ohmygodmyheadhur
ts.Whatt
he
f
uckhappened.
Iscant
her
oom andhol
yshi
tI'
m att
hehospi
tal
.

Thedoct
orget
sint
her
oom.Ahotdoct
orat
that
.

"
MissNkosi
youar
eawake"

Duh.Inod

"
Docwhyam Iher
e?"

"Wellmissyouf
aint
ed.Youar
esi
xweeks
pregnant.
..
."

Idon'
trememberwhathesai
dnext.Onewor
dI
caughtandi
tsst
il
lri
ngi
ngi
nmyheadi
s
PREGNANT.

I
'
M PREGNANT

.
..
..
.

Seey
'al
lonFr
iday
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t33

*
***
***
***
NARRATED*
***
***
***
*

Nomhlei
sinav er
yhappymood.Shei
sdriv
ing
herBMW 2ser
ieswhil
eli
steni
ngt
odesti
ny'
s
chi
l
dbr
owney
es

Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywheni
yourf
ace
Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywheny
ou
Smi
l
edatme
Youst
aredt
ome
Andt
heny
ousai
dtome
Iwast
hewomany
oudr
eam about
Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywhen
Youcal
l
edmyhouse

Remembert
hef
ir
stdaywheny
ou
Tookmeout
Wehadbut
ter
fl
ies
Al
thoughwet
ri
edt
ohi
de
Andwebot
hhadabeaut
if
ulni
ght
Thewaywehel
deachot
her

Sheisdr
ivi
ngandsheisst
oppedbytwopol
ice
car
s.Shepull
soutandget
soutoft
hecar.

"
Misshowy
oudoi
ngt
oday
"

"
I'
mfi
net
hanky
ou"

"
Wewoul
dli
ket
osear
chy
ourcar
"

"
Ohkay
"

Thepol
i
cestar
tsear
chi
nghercarandwhatt
hey
fi
ndi
nsi
dethebooti
sundescr
ibabl
e.
Twodeadbodi es.Amaleandafemal
e.Thei
r
headsareremov edf
rom t
hei
rbodi
esbuty
ou
cantel
lthati
tsamaleandaf emal
e.

"
Whatt
hef
uck"Nomhl
esay
sscr
eami
ng

"
Off
icerpl
easecomehav
eal
ook"

"
Mmhwhatdowehav
eher
e"

*t
heyteart
hepackandwhi
tepowdercomes
out*

"
Missi
sthi
scocai
ne"

"
Isweartogoditsnotmi
ne.Iswearonmy
mother
sgrave"
*
theotherpol
i
cemanopensthedashboar
dand
f
indsandgunandakni
feful
lofbl
ood*

"
Ncncnc"

"
Missy
ouar
eunderar
rest
."

"Noleavemethefuckal
one, Idon'
tknowwho
ownst hi
sshi
t"Nomhlesaysandshesl apst
he
pol
icemanwhot r
iedtotouchy ou

"Anythingyoudoorsaycanandwi llbeheld
againstyouinthecourtoflaw.Youhavethe
ri
ghtt oalawyer"t
hepolicemansaysandhe
grabsNomhl ebyforceandhandcuffsher.
"JesusIswearIdi
dn'
tdot
hissomeoneist
ryi
ng
toframeme.Pleasel
etmecallmyboyf
ri
end
please.
"

Theyshov
edheri
nthepol
i
cev
anwi
thher
scr
eamingandki
cki
ng.

"
Jesus"Nomhl
esai
dcr
ying

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Iv
enev erbeenthislosti
nmyl i
fe.Iser
iously
dontknowwhatt odo.Shoul
dIkeept hisbaby
ornot.I'
m att
hedoct orsIwanttogetan
abort
ionIcan'tkeepthispr
egnancy.Myt ears
keepfal
l
ingbutIwi
pet
hem quickl
ybecauseI
can'
tl
etpeopl
eseeme.I'
m st
il
l wai
ti
ng.

"
Hi"anoldl
adysaysIdi
dn'
tev
ennot
iceshe
wassi
tt
ingnextt
ome

"
Hel
l
o"

"
Howar
eyou"Shesay
s

"
I'
mfi
ne"Isayf
aki
ngasmi
l
e

"Wellcany
oupleasest
oppr
etendi
ngwithme
becausedeepdownIknowyouarenot
"

"
Wel
lIdon'
tknowhowIam"
"
Howf
arar
eyou"Il
ookatherandmyey
espop

"
Wha.
.whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"

"
Yourpr
egnancy
"

"
Howdi
dyouknow"

"
Idoknow"

"
OkayI
'
m acoupl
eofweeks"

*
Shenods*

"
Mynamei
sSi
zakhel
ebyt
heway
"
"I
'
m Qi
nisi
we.Waitwhydoyouhav
eaZul
u
namewhereasyouli
veinBot
swana"

"Whydoy ouhaveaZul
unamewhi
l
eyoui
n
Botswanatoo"

*Igi
ggl
eandshej
oinsme.Thi
swomani
s
beaut
if
ul*

"
CanIgi
vey
ousomeadv
ice"

Il
ookather

"
Sur
e"
"Stopr unning.Al
l y
ourl ifey ouhav ebeen
runningawaywhenev erthingsgethar d.You
hav ebeent hroughal ot .Youhav ealotofhat e.
Forgiv eyourpastandl etitgobecausei fyou
keeponhol dinggrudgesy ouwi l
lneverfind
happi ness.Asmuchasy ouwon' tbel
ievethis
buty ourmot herlovedandst il
ll
ov esyou.She
mayhav enevershowedi tt oyoubutshedi d.
Shej usthadal otofangerwi thinherandatt hat
momenty ouwer etheonl ypersonwho
remi ndedheroft hepai n.Shet r
iedtof orgetbut
whenev ershesawy ou, your emindedherof
whatshewast ryi
ngt of orget.Yourgr annyonce
saidt hatshewi l
lnev erleav eyou.Whenev eryou
needhery ouwi l
lfi
ndheri ny ourheart"

*
*Ican'
tst
opt
het
ear
s**

"
Youar
egoi
ngt
hroughal
ot.Yousomet
imes
wantt ogi veuponl i
febutNanadon't
.Youar e
gift
ed.Ther eareal otofpeoplewhowi lldepend
ony ouincludingthatgi fti
nyourt
ummy .
Qinisi
wey ouarelov ed.Thatmanisyour
protectorandhei sal sohumanhemakes
mistakes.Iwanty out odomeaf avour.Pray.
Whenev erthesuicidalthought
scomej ustkneel
andpr ayy ourheartout .
Themanabov el i
stens.
Hehear dy ourcri
esandhegav ey
ousomet hing
thatwillmakey ousmi leandbehappyf orthe
restyourofy ourlife."

*
sheput
sherhandonmyt
ummy
*

"Agift
,infactGi f
ts.Thedarkcloudistempor ar
y.
I
twi l
lfadeawayandwheni tdoesy ouwill
thank
thelor
df orlett
ingy ougothroughallofthi
s
becauseitwi l
lteachy out
obet hestr
ongest
personalive.Qini
siwedon'tthrowawayt hese
gif
ts.Theyareonegi f
tst
hatwi
ll
teachy ouhow
tolove.Iwon'ttel
lyouwhatt
odobutj ust
fol
lowy ourheart
.Rememberpainistemporar
y
butloveisforev
er"

Shegetsupandl
ooksatme.Sheki
ssesmy
for
eheadandwhi
sper
s"youarel
oved"

Shewal
ksaway
.

"
Qini
si
weNkosi
youar
enext
"thenur
sesay
s

Igetupandgotowar
dst
hedoor.Shoul
dIhav
e
thi
sabort
ion.Wi
ll
Iev
erf
orgi
vemyselfi
fIdo.

Iturnt
hedoorhandleandgetin.Il
ookatthe
nursei
nsi
deandt henIrunbackoutsi
de.Ican'
t
dothi
s.I
nfactIwon'
tdothi
s.I
'
m keepi
ngt
his
pr
egnancy.Iwil
ldoi
tal
lbymysel
f.

I
'
m goi
ngt
obeaMot
her
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t34

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Aweekl
ater

Whenev erIt
ell
peopl
enottomesswit
hmeand
myf amilyt
heydon'
tbel
iev
eme.Wordofadv i
ce
nevermesswi t
hme.SoIplant
eddr
ugs,dead
bodies,
agunandabl oodi
edkni
fei
nNomhl e'
s
car
.Thatwasaboutaweekago.
Well
sheisjai
l
.Shegotdeniedbail
andtoday
shei
sgetti
ngsentenced.I
tssuchashame.Her
l
awyercoul
dn'
tevenhelphershame.

I'
m am dressedtokil
l
.Iwantt olookfl
yasf uck
whent hatbi
tchgetssentenced.Whenev erI
thi
nkaboutherIjustlaugh.Shereall
ythought
shestoodachancewi t
hme.MeNkany ezi
Mthethwa.Butyouknowt hedevili
saliar,God
i
nterv
enedandsai dtome" MysonNkany ezi
sendthatwhoretojail
"

Il
i
stenedt
oJesusandr
epl
i
ed"
YAssGodI
'
llbe
gl
adto"

I
'm happythatNomhl eisgoingt obeoutofmy
l
if
ebutI '
m sti
ll
notsatisfi
ed.Fir
st l
yIdon'tknow
whereQinisi
weisbutI '
mt racki
ngZi nzi
and
Thobi'
sphonesj usti
ncaseQi nisiwecall
st hem.
St
il
lnoluck.Myphoneri
ngsdi
stur
bingmef
rom
mythoughts.Ipi
cki
tup.

"
Baf
o"Isay

"
Wear
ewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"

"
Wher
ey'
al
lat
"

"
Thecour
t"

"
Shar
pum comi
ng"

Webothhangup.Msizi i
sveryi
mpat i
entsolet
mego.Il
ookatmy selfonemor eti
mei nthe
mir
ror
.Il
ookgood.Ilookclean.Mybear dis
gr
owingagai
nandIdon' thavetheenergyto
shav
e.Letmegetgoi
ng.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
*

Every
onei ssettledandwai ti
ngforthejudge.
TheMt hethwabr other sent erthecourtlooki
ng
fl
yasf uck.Msizi, Mt hunzi,Nkoseny e,Nkanyezi
andLut handoall toget herlookinglikefucken
supermodel s.Nomhl e'sfacel i
ghtsupwhen
sheseesNkany ez i.Shest illdoesn'
tknowt hat
Nkanyezi i
stheonewhof ramedher .

Thej
udgeget
sinandsi
tsi
nherchai
r.

"
Wehav
eseent
hel
awy
ersbi
cker
ingf
ort
he
fi
nal decisiont obemade.Ev i
dencewasgi ven
andf i
nallythecour thasmadeadeci sion
concer ni
ngMsZul u'schar
ges.Mi ssZul uis
Her byf oundgui l
tyofgoingagai nstthel awwi t
h
char gesofMur der,drugpossesion, unlicensed
fi
rear m possessi on,andfightingthel awby
slappingapol iceman.Youar eher eby
sent encedt o25y earsinprisonbut5y earshas
beent akenof fandy ouarenowchar gedwi t
h20
year sinpr i
son.COURTDI SMI SSED"t heJudge
says

Nonhlecan'
tstopt hetearsandthesobsthat
escapehermout h.Herf amil
yisalsocry
ing.
Angelisal
socrying.Sheholdsherstomach.
Thepainshefeelsisunbearable.Nomhlegets
takenawaymay bet ohercellIdon'
tknowbut
sheistakeaway.Angel isnowont hefl
oor.
TheMthet
hwabrother
scomescl
osert
oher
andNkany
ezi
picksherup.Ev
ent
houghhe
hatesAngelbutsheiscar
ryi
nghischild.He
takeshert
ot hecarwit
hAngelscreami ng
holdi
nghertummyt henit
sli
ghtsoffforher.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.

Theyar
ri
veatt
hehospit
alandshegetstakent
o
herwar
d.Hourspassandsti
l
lnofeedback.

"
Aiboi
tsbeenhour
snow"Lut
handosay
s

"Whatt
hef
ucki
shappeni
ngnow"Nkany
ezi
says

Lucki
l
ythedoctorcomesoutandt
akesof
fhi
s
capandgreet
sev er
yone
"Wedi dal
lwecouldbutwecouldntsavethe
baby.Themother'
sbloodpressurewastoo
hightheni
taff
ectedthebaby.Hisheart
beat
stoppedandwecouldn'tsav
ehimI '
m sorr
y"

Nkanyezican'
tbel ievewhathei shear i
ng.Hi s
babyisgone.Hei snomor e.Heleav est he
doctorandhisbr othersandgoesout side.He
takesoutacigaret teandst art
ssmoki ng.His
hearti
sbrokenandt heonlypersonheneeds
ri
ghtnowi sQinisiwe.Het akesouthi sphone
andlooksathisl ockscr een.I
tsapi ctureofhim
andQinisi
weki ssing.Hi stearsfal
l.Hedi al
sher
numberbutitgoesst r
aighttovoicemai l.

"Qin.
..
Qini
siweit
sme.Pl
easecomebackIneed
you.Babypleasecomeback.I
'
m sor
ryj
ust
pleaseIneedyou"
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ionofi
nser
t34

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Yoht heweat hertodayi

ssodepr essing.I
tsso
coldandi tsrai
ning.Oneofthoseday swhere
youst ayinthehouse.Somyl if
eisgoi ngpret
ty
cool.Igotaj ob.YessIgotajob.AfterIspent
almostamont hunempl oy
ed,Godf inal
ly
answer edmypr ayer
sandIgotaj ob.

Imovedintoanewf l
at.I
tsnotthatbi
gbuti t
s
j
ustMYspaceandIl oveit.Idon'
thav
eacary et
butIwil
lgetonesoonIhope.ButIhavet he
bestnewsever.I
M THREEMONTHSpr egnant
now.Mybabybumbi soffici
all
yshowi ng.Guess
what ?I'm havi
ngt wins.YeahIknowr ight.Li
ke
howt hef uckwi l
lImanaget oraisetwinsal lby
my self.Icandot hisallbymy selfI
'm stronger
thanIl ooky ouknow.Ial sohav eSizakhele.You
knowt hatladyImetwhenIwant edt ohav ean
abortiony esher.Shei sreall
yamazi ng.Icall her
Mabecauseshei sol derthanmeandIr espect
her.

Wel lIi
nvi
tedhertospendt hedaywithme
todayandIwi l
lcook.Yohguy smam Sizakhele
i
sGodsent .Tur
nsoutshewasadoct or.Sheis
alsoasangoma( seer)Iguessthat
'showshe
knowssomuchaboutme.Whatel seshouldI
tell
you.OhI '
m nowachur chgoer.YesIknow
i
tsaboutt i
me.Ijustneedgodi nmyl i
fethat
'si
t.

Okayenoughnowl
etmest
artwi
tht
hepot
s
Mam Si
zakhel
ewi
l
lbeher
eanymi
nut
enow.

.
..
..
..
..
..

Ther
eisaknockont
hedoorIgoandopen

"
Sur
pri
se"shesay
s

"
Hima"

Wehugandsheget
sinsi
de

"
Oohi
tssocozyi
nher
e"

"
Iknowr
ightmyownl
i
ttl
eheav
en"
Weshar
eal
augh

"
Ital
sosmel
l
sni
ce"

"
Sitdownpl
easeandl
etmedi
shupf
ory
ou"

Shesi
tsont
hecouchwhi
l
eIdi
shup.

"
Macomet
hissi
dewewi
l
leather
e"

Shecomest
othet
abl
eandweset
tl
edownand
di
gin.

"
SomaIhav
enev
eraskedy
out
his,
arey
ou
mar
ri
ed"
*
shel
i
ftsupherl
efthand*

"
No"

"
Why"

"
Whynot
"shesay
ssmi
l
ing

"
Wel
lMay
ouar
ever
ybeaut
if
ul"

Shesmiles.Sher
emi
ndsmeofsomeonebutI
don'
tknowwho

"Thanky
ou.Well
Qini
siweIhadamanonce.
Wellhewasnotr
eall
ymymanbutwewer e
dati
ngsortof
"
"
Ohr
eal
l
ytel
lmeabouthi
m"

Shesmi
l
es

"Okay.Hi snamewasMqaphel iMt hethwa.The

fi
rstevermanIwasev erat tr
actedt o.Hewas
mypat ientatt hehospi t
al wher eIusedt oWORk.
Suchachar mer .Ifellf
orhi mt hef i
rstdayIsaw
him.SoIt reatedhim anddi schargedhi mt hree
daysaf ter.OnedayIgetacal landi tsfrom him.
Mindy ouIhav enev ergivenhi m mynumber .
Wet al
kedf orsomet i
meandwer eallyli
ked
eachot her .West art
eddat ing.Hebr okemy
vir
gini
ty.Soy eahwekepti tgoingandt henI
foundoutt hatIwaspr egnant .Wit htwins.Iwas
sohappy .Hewashappybutnott hatmuch.SoI
gavebirt htot wobeaut i
fulboy s.2mot hslater
hecomest omyhousewi thhi swife.Yeswi feI
didn'
tev enknowhewasmar ri
ed.Hei nt
roduced
usandt oldmet hatwant edt heboy st ostay
withhi m andhi swife.Ideclinedandhe
accept edt hatbuthi swi f
edi dn'tli
keme
becauseshecoul dseet hatMqaphel il
ovedme.
Theyl eftandt hatsamedayIwasat tackedby
men.Andt heyt oldmei fIdontl etmyki dsst ay
withhi sfathert heywoul dki llmeandki lloneof
thetwi ns.Iwassoscar edf ormy selfandf ormy
boys.Ical ledMqaphel iaf t
eraweekofbei ng
tort
uredandhecame.It oldhi m Iwasgonna
givehimt heki dsandhesai di don'thavet odo
anythingIdon' twantt o.Iknewhedi dn'tsend
thosemenbutIknowhi swi fedid.Hedi dn't
wantt ot aket hem butheev entuall
ydi d.Ithi
nk
hiswifedi dn'twantmet ost aywi thkids
becausesheknewt hatMqaphel iwoul dspend
mostofhi st i
mewi thmeasanexcuset osee
hiskids"
Shei
snowcr
ying.I
'
m cr
yingt
oo.

"
OhMaI
'
m sosor
ry"

"
It
sokayIshouldhav
ejustf
lewt
oBotswana
wi
thmyt wi
nsinst
eadofbei
ngsel
fi
shand
l
eavi
ngthem."

"
Mamai
tsnoty
ourf
aul
t.I
tst
hatman'
swi
fe"

"Theyare28thisy
ear.Mytwins.Ij
ustwisht
o
seethem andhugthem.MaybeIwillf
ind
peace"

"
Ohmama"

*
shewi
peshert
ear
s*
"
Andy
ouwhoi
sthef
ather
"sheasks

MYhear
tbr
eaksj
ustt
hinki
ngabouthi
m.

"Someonewhohur tme.Thet hi
ngisMaaft
er
allt
heshit.Oopssor
ryforcur
sing.Mamaaft
er
everyt
hinghehasdoneIstil
ll
ovehim.Oh
may bethat'
swhatIt
hink.
"

"
Iknowt
hatf
eel
i
ng"

"
MaNkany
ezi
hur
tme"

Shel
ooksshocked.
"
Nka.
.Nkany
ezi
"

"
Yes"

"
CanIseehi
spi
ctur
e"

"
Why
"

"Uh..
uhm Ij
ustwanttoseet
hemanwhowoul
d
hurtsuchabeauti
ful
Ladyli
key
our
sel
f"

Ibl
ush

Itakeoutmyphonef
rom mypocketandshow
herhispi
ctur
e.
Shel
ooksatt
hepi
ctur
eandherey
espop.
Shel
ooksatt
hepi
ctur
eforsomet
ime.

"
Thi
sishi
m"sheasks

Inod

Sheey
esar
ered.Tear
y.

Sheget
supf
rom herchai
r.

"
Qini
si
weIhav
etogo"shest
art
swal
ki
ng

"
Mamamyphone"

Shel
ooksatmyphone.Hert
ear
sfal
lshewi
pes
t
hem qui
ckl
y.

"Mamawhat'swrong.OhI'
m sor
ryI
'm so
i
nconsi
derat
e.HereIam havi
ngtwi
nswher eas
youdon'
tknowwher eyourt
winsar
eat .I
'
m
sor
ryMama"

Shecr
ies

"
Mama"Iopenmyar
msandshesobs.

"Ihav
etogo"shegi
vesmemyphoneandr
uns
outsi
deandsl
amingthedoor
.

Godpl
easeheal
herhear
t.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t35

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Doy ouknowt hatf eeli

ngwheny ouar eleftby
someoney oul ove.Someonewhoi nspiresy ou
tobeanddobet ter.Iknowal otofpeopl ewho
knowmypastt hinkt hatI'
mj ustactingcrazy
whenIsayImi ssandneedQi ni
siwei nmyl if
e.
Well shecamei ntomyl i
feandsor tofgav eme
somel i
ght.Nowshei sgoneandi m backi nt he
darkness.I'm notdepr essedorwhat everbutI '
m
j
usti nthedar krightnow.Imi ssmywoman.I
missmyAf r
icanqueen.Wel lwithQinisiwe
l
eav i
ngmeI '
v ebeenneedi ngclosure.Theonl y
wayIknowhowt ogetcl osureissex.YesI '
ve
havingwi t
hsomeone.I '
m notwi thherbutshe
i
smyf uckbuddy.Shei
snotev enimpor
tant
.She
knowsourarrangement.Shegiv
esmepussy
andIt
akecar eofherfi
nanci
all
y.

SoI'm goi
ngtoapart
yri
ghtnow.It
sahouse
partyt
obespecif
ic.I
'
m dr
essedinblackand
readytogo.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Yoht
hishousei
spacked.
Ipar
kmycarandgeti
nsi
de

"
Mar
io"Ishoutget
ti
ngi
n

"Nkanyezi
thepussysl
ayer
"theyal
lshoutasI
getinsi
de
Iset
tl
edowngrabbi
ngabeer.Themusicis
poppi
ng.Thegi
rl
sohmyJesusIdon'teven
wanttomenti
ontheboot
yinthi
shouse.

"
What
'supdawg"Mar
ioasks

"
Eishnot
hingl
et'
ssayl
i
fei
sshowi
ngme
f
lames"

"
Youl
ookbadNkanyezi
.It
sli
key ouarel
osing
y
ourmind.Umubi
(you'
reugl
y)"Ever
yonelaughs

"
Voet
sek"

Dr
ewt
urnsupt
hemusi
c
Ri
dingt
hrought
hehood
Namaj
i
ta
Feel
i
ngal
lgoodnamaj
i
ta
I
tsbeenal
ongj
our
ney
Manj
ebonasi
dlubushabet
hunamaj
i
ta
Spendi
ngal
ltheser
andsnamaj
i
ta
Sguqi
sal
enganenamaj
i
ta
Ngobi
li
feai
n'
tnev
erbeen
Aguar
ant
eed
Nowwet
urni
p
I
tsanewmot
to
Sphi
l
angat
hisi
dli
lot
to
Li
vi
ngl
i
feIcanaf
for
dthough.
..

"
Nkanyezicomethi
ssi
de"Igetupandfol
l
ow
t
heotherguysandwegeti
nsidearoom.I
tsl
i
ke
anoff
iceandinsi
dether
eareabout20menand
l
otsofgir
ls.Thi
sroom i
shuge.

If
oll
owt
il
lwer
eacht
het
abl
e.

"
Ist
hiswhatIt
hinki
tis"Iaskshocked
Hehast
hebi
ggestgr
inonhi
space

"
Youwantt
otr
y"

"Br
uhIhaven'
ttouchedcocai
nei
nthr
eey
ear
sI
don'
tknow"

"
ComeonNkany
ezi
youonl
yli
veonce"

Il
ookathi
m andl
ookatt
hecocai
ne.Shoul
dIor
shoul
dInot.
..
..

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Mam Si zakhele'sstoryreall
ymademesad.I
cri
edsosomuchandnowIhav ecalmeddown.
Idon'tknowwhatIwoul ddoi fmybabi eswer e
tobesepar atedfrom me.Iwoul ddie.Istandup
andgot ot hemi r
rorandl ookatmysel f.Ican'
t
stopthesmi lethatcurvesf r
om mylips.I'm
pregnant.I'
m goingt obeamom.
Ir
aisemytshi
rtandt
ouchmyt
ummy
.

"
Hi li
tt
lechamps.Ijustwantt
ohav eali
tt
letal
k
withyousweetypies.Ij
ustwanttosayIlov
e
you.Withever
ythinginme.I'
m notsayi
ngI'
m
goingt obet heper fectmot herbutI '
m gonnat r
y
tobet hemostl ov i
ngandunder standi ngpar ent.
Nomat t
erwhathappensbet weeny ourfather
andIj ustknowt hatwel ov
ey oubot handIwi l
l
nev erseparatey ouf rom him.Yourf atherisa
niceper sontot hosewhoar eni cet ohi m.Ijust
don' tknowwhyhewasn' tnicet ome.Inev er
hadaf athergrowi ngupandIknowhowhar d
thatwas.Inev erwanty outogr owupt hi
nking
yourf atherhatesy ouorhel efty oubecausehe
didn't.I'
m notreadyt of acehi my etbutt rustme
hewi l
lbeiny ourlife.Youmayhav ecomeata
wr ongt i
mebuty ouar enotami st ake.Youar e
giftsfrom god.AndI 'm gonnal ov ey out il
ldeath.
TillItakemyl astbr eathonEar th.Il ovey oumy
l
ittlestars.Nkany ezi'
sst ar
s.St ar'sst ars."

*
IlaughasIsaySt
ar'
sst
ars*
Oh.zinziissixmont
hspregnant
.Idontwant
hertogivebirt
hwit
houtme.Ican'
tkeeprunni
ng
for
ever.Itakemyphoneanddialhernumber
shepicksup.

"
Hel
l
o"

"
Zinzi
itsmeQi
nisi
we"

"
Ohmygodbabewher
ear
eyou,
arey
ouf
ine"

"
Cal
m downI
'
mfi
ne,
howar
eyou"

"
I'
mfi
nej
ustpr
egnant
"shesay
s

"
I'
m comingback,Ican'
tkeepr
unni
ng.But
whenIcomebackjustkeepanopenmind"
"
Why
"

"
I'
m pr
egnant
"

"
Aaahnonono"

"
Cal
m down"

"
Bywho"

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Ohdoesheknow"

"
No"
Beepbeepshi
tmyai
rt
imer
unsout
.

Ichar
gemyphoneandthenamessagecomes
thr
oughi
tsf
rom mam Si
zakhel
e

*
Iwantt
otal
ktommor
owi
llcomear
ound4*

Ican'
tev
enr
epl
yIdon'
thav
eai
rt
imenordat
a

Letmesl
eepi
tsal
readyl
ate.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE
Shoul
dIsmoket
hiscocai
ne.

*
beepbeepbeep*

Myphonehasanot if
icati
on.Il
ookatit.Zinzi
gotacallfrom anumberinBotswana.Ilocate
theadress.Igetoutoftheroom soIcanlisten
totheconv er
sati
on.

"
Hel
l
o"shesay
s

"Zi
nziitsmeQini
siwe"Il
istentother
estoft he
conversat
iont
il
ltheend.Qinisi
weispregnant
anditsmine.Whatthefuck.

Ir
unoutofthi
shousetomycarandsenda
messaget
omypi l
ot.*gett
hepl
anereadyI
'
m
goi
ngt
oBot
swanat
oni
ght
.*
LedByLov
e

Shor
tBonus

Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Wejustgotonthepl
ane.Theti
meis02:30.I
ts
me, Nkoseny
eandLuthando.Msi
ziand
Mthunzicoul
dn'
tcomebuttheywi
shedusgood
l
uck.

"
Broi wantt
oli
stent
othatconv
ersat
ion"
Nkosenyesays

Itakeoutmyphoneandpl
ayi
t.Ev
ery
onei
n
theirownt
hought
s.
"Sodoy
out
hinkshewi
l
lfor
giv
eyou"Lut
hando
asks

"Idon'
tknowbutIdon'
tthinkso.Shei
s
stubbor
n.It
hinkshewil
lforgi
vemeast i
me
passesbutfornowaiI
'
m notsur e"

Si
l
encef
il
lst
hepl
ane.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Wej ustlandedandwebookedour selvesi

ntoa
hotel.Wear eti
red.WellI
'mtir
edIdon' tknow
aboutmybr ot
hersbutIam t-i
-r
-e-d.Ijustwant
tosleep.Youknowt hose8hoursessi ons.
Tossingandt urni
ng.Dreamingaboutl otto
number sthenforgett
ingthem all
int hemor ni
ng.
TobehonestI'
m shitscar
ed.Idon'
tknowhow
shei
sgoingtoreact.I'
m scar
edbutfornowl
et
mesleepandwewi llgett
otheQini
siwematt
er
whenIseeher.Ican'
twait.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

GOODMORNI NGWORLD.Whatagr eatday .

Thesunisshi ni
ng.Mybbabiesar egr owing.I'
m
happy.Li
feisjustgr
eat.SoI'
m notdoi ng
anyt
hingtodaynowor knothingsoIguessi t
s
oneofthoseday swhereIhav etotreatmy sel
f
forj
ustbeingmy sel
f.I
'm goi
ngshoppi ng.I'
m
gonnadomyhai r,
mynai l
sev er
ything.Ijust
wanttobepr ett
y.Asthesayinggoes." When
youlookgood, youfeelgood.Sot hat'sjustmy
moodf ortoday.
Igetup,getintheshower .Ishav ewhil
eI'
mi n
theshower.Igetout
.Dr y.andl oti
on.Iwearmy
l
acepantyandmat chingbr a.Iwearamaxi red
dressandgoldsandals.Doanat ural
makeup
l
ook.Spraymyexpensi vecologneandt henI'
m
off.I
'
m uberi
ngtothemal l bytheway .

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Iarri
veatthemal l andt
hef i
rstthingIdois
SHOPPI NG.Y' al
lshoppi
ngi stherapeuti
c.Ishop
ti
ll
Idr op.Whynot .I'
my oung.Ihav eAcar eer.
JustasI 'm passi
ngIseeababyst or
e.I'
m
temptedsoIgeti n.OMGt hesebabyst uffbeso
cute.Idon'tknowt hesexofmybabi essoI 'm
gonnawai ttil
lIknow.
Wher
edoIgonow.Ohy esthesalon.Igett
her
e
andl
ucki
l
yit
snotpacked.Igeti
nsitdown.

"Hi
"thel
adysay
s

"
Hel
l
ohowar
eyou"

"
I'
m goodt
hanky
ou"shesay
s

"
Great
"

"
Sowhatcanwedof
ory
ou"

"
Uhm Iwantmynai
lsdoneandIal
sowanta30
i
nchPeruv
ianweav
eblack."
"
Okaycashorcr
edi
tcar
d?"

"
Car
d"

I
'm donei nliket
wohour s.Theladythatwas
doi ngmyhai rwasreal
lycool.I
nf actever
yone
wascool .Ilovethem.HeyImadef ri
ends.We
talkedalot.Aboutmemost l
y.Ishowedt hem a
pict ur
eofmysper m donorandt heywerelike

"Oohgirli
fIwereyouIwouldneverl
ett
hatman
go"Iwasj ustl
aughi
ngtheent
ir
et i
me.I
twas
funthough.

Ilookatmy selfi
nthemi rrorbefor
eIgo.Ilook
good.I'
m beaut i
ful
.Toal l
thepeopl ewhoused
tocallmeugl yinhighschoolandy outoo
Nomhl e.Y'
allcansucksomedi ckbecauseI'
m
beauti
ful
andy
'al
lar
enotgonnat
ell
meany
di
ffent

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

It
salreadylat
eanddar kandi m goinghome.
Theuberdr i
verisr eal
lycool.Whyi sever
yone
cooltheseday s.Ormay beitsaBot swanathing.
Theuberdr i
verev enletmeeatmydoughnut s
i
nt hecar.YohIl ovedoughnut sthesedays.Star
oneandSt artwoar eshowingmef l
ameswhen
i
tcomest ocravings.

Igetoutoftheuber
.Myhandsaresooccupied
witht
hesebags.YohI'
m suremybankaccount
i
s0r i
ghtnowbecauseIdidsomeothershi
t
today
.Itaketheel
evat
ortoday
.St
air
sforwho.
Iputthekeyi nandopen.Iswi t
chont helight
s
andNkany eziandhisbrothersaresit
tingonthe
couch.Iswitchofftheli
ghts.Iswit
cht hem on
agai
nandt heyar esti
ll
here.Am Idreami ngor
what.

"Okayli
stenQi
nisi
weyouaredreamingthi
sis
notreal
"Igostr
aightt
omyr oom andmaybeI'
ll
comebackandt heywil
lbegone.Iputt
hebags
onthebedandgoback.

Jesust
heyar
est
il
lher
e.Nkoseny
est
andsup

"Makoti
"hesay
sandy
ept
heyar
ereal
.I'
m not
hal
luci
nati
ng

"
Nkosenye"heopenshi
sar
ms.Ihav
enobeef
wi
thhim soIgoandhughi
m.
Lut
handost
andsupandIal
sohughi
m.

"
Me?
"Mysper
m donorasks

"Theonl
ythi
ngy oudeserv
eisQinisi
wetoki
ck
yourbal
l
s"NkosenyesaysandIlaugh.Wefi
st
bump.ThisdudeiscoolItel
lyou

"
Exact
ly"Isay

Nkany
ezigetsupandcomestome.Hehugs
meforcef
ull
yandhekeepski
ssi
ngmyforehead.

"Nomhledr
uggedandrapedmeQini
siwe
beli
eveme"Hehastear
sinhi
seyes.theyf
all
.
"
Crocodi
l
etear
s"Ev
ery
onel
aughs.

Helet
'sgoofmeandIl ookathi
m.Hel
ooks
bad.Real
lybadbutnotugly
.

"Whathappenedt
oy ou.Youlookl
i
kethose
her
otozeropeople"Isayandever
yonelaughs

"Li
kehewont helot
tobuthejoi
nedthecasi
no
andlosthi
smoneyt hroughgambli
ngnowno
onewantshim."NkosenyesaysandIl
augh

Wear
edi
stur
bedbyaknockont
hedoor
.

"
Comei
n"

Si
zakhel
eget
sinandl
ooksatus.Shockwr
it
ten
al
lov
erherface.Heey
eswi
del
yopened.1,
2,
3
shef
aint
s.

Thebrothersrushtoher
.Ital
lmakessense
now.Thet winsfat
heri
sMqapheliMthet
hwa.
Waiti
sSi zakhel
eNkanyeziandNkoseny
e's
mother.

Isnapoutofi
tandr
usht
ohert
oo

"
Mama"shei
soutofi
t.
..
.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t36

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive
"
Mama"Nkany ezipi
cksherupandput
sheron
t
hesofa.Nkosenyerushesandget
sabowlof
wat
erandpoursitonherface

Shewakesupf
ail
i
ngt
obr
eat
h.

"
Cal
m downmam br
eat
h"Lut
handosay
s

Shel ooksatNkoseny eandNkany ezi

.Shecant
stopt hetears.Luthandohashi sjawscl enched.
Nkany ezi
andNkoseny ear ejustl ost.I
fonly
theyknew.Wel l
I'
m notsur ebutSi zakhelejust
madei tobvious.OhI '
m sosl ow.Herr eacti
on
whenIshowedherNkany ezi'
spi cture.Nkany ezi
oncet ol
dmet hathim,LuthandoandNkany ezi
areaphot ocopyoft heirf
at her.Msi ziand
Mt hunzi l
ooklikehimt oobutnott hatmuch.So
MaSi zakhelejustsawNkany eziandNkoseny e
andt heyr emindedheroft heirfather.Mqaphel i
Mt
het
hwa.Thi
sisf
uckedup.

Sheget
supoft
hesof
a.

"
Ihav
etogo,
Qini
siwewest
il
lhav
etot
alk"

"
Mamapl
easest
ay"

"NoI'
mjustnotr
eadybutwewi
l
ltal
kIdon'
t
havemuchtimelef
t"

"
Mamawhatdoy
oumean"

Shegoestowardsthedoorandleaves.Leav
ing
ever
yoneshocked.Whatjusthappened
Ican'
tst
opt
het
ear
s.
*
kick*

*
kick*

*
kick*

"
Aahh"t
heyal
lcomecl
oser

"
What
'swr
ong"Nkany
ezi
say
s

"
Aah.Not
hingt
heyar
ejustki
cki
ng"
Mi
ndy
out
hisi
sthef
ir
stt
imet
heyar
eki
cki
ng.

Nkany
ezi
tri
est
otouchmebutIsl
aphi
shand
"
Don'
ttouchme"Ishout
.Ev
ery
onel
ooksatme

"
Looky
oual
lhav
etogo.I
'
mti
red"

"
Butwehav
etot
alk"

"Thereisnothingforustotal
kaboutNkanyezi
.
I'
m pregnantandt hat'
sit
.Wewi l
ldealwi
ththe
tal
kinglaterIjustcan'
tst
andtoactasif
everyt
hingisf i
newheni t
snot.Youhurtme
don'tthi
nkI'veforgott
enthat
.Nowy ouacti
ng
allhol
y."

Igotowardsthedoorandopen.Theyl
ookat
meandt heycometowardsmeandgetout .
Nkanyezii
sstil
li
nsi
de.Helooksatme.I'
m so
madathimr i
ghtnow.Heev ent
ual
lyl
eaves.
Igotomyr
oom.Changei
ntomypy
jamas.And
sl
eep.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

*
***
***
***
***
***
*NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
*

Si
zakhel
egottoherhouseandshecouldn'
t
st
opthetear
s.Shestar
tedthr
owingthi
ngs
ar
oundthehouse.Hersobsgett
ingl
ouderand
l
ouder.

Sheev
entuall
ycalmsdown.Shet
akesoutt
he
i
mpepho(incense)andl
i
ghtsi
t

Shekneel
sandcl
apsherhands
"Greatancestors.It
smeMazul u,
Mageba,St hul
iskandaba.Iplead.pleasegr ant
memor etime.Ifoundmyboy sbutIcan'tleave
withoutthem knowi ngmeast heirr
eal mother,
Makhosi amakhul u(greatancest
ors).Li
sten
grantmemor et i
me.Don'tletthi
sil
lnesstake
menow."

Shest
andsupandwi
peshert
ear
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Backi
nSA

Nathi
gotdischargedl
astweek.Hei
sina
wheel
chai
r.Nol egsnopeni
s.Heissuchasad
per
son.
"Myboywhodidt
his"Hisf
atherhasbeen
aski
nghi
mthisquesti
onsi
ncef or
ever

Nat
hist
art
scr
ying

"Babawhat'
sthepointofl
i
fei
fiml
i
ket
his.I
'
ma
nobody.Iwantt
odie"

Hi
sfat
hercr
ieswi
thhi
m.Hecan'thandl
eseing
Nat
hil
i
kethi
s.Hegetsupandgoestohisroom.

"Ohl
ordwhathav
eIdonetodeser
vesuch
puni
shment
.Whocoulddothi
stomyson."

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive
Icanfeel
thatsomeonei
sint
hisr
oom wi
thme.
Iopenmyey es

"
Aahwhatt
hef
uckNkany
ezi
?"

Hel
ooksatme.
mxm

Igetupandr
usht
othebat
hroom andIwash
mymout h

"
Howt
hef
uckdi
dyougeti
nbecauseIl
ocked"

"
Ihav
emyway
s"

"
Whatdoy
ouwant
"
"
You"hesay
s

Heget supandcomestome.Het
ouchesmy
faceandatt
emptstoki
ssmebutIgi
vehima
hotslap.

*
Hecl
encheshi
sjaws*

"I
sthi
swhaty
oudot
omeQi
nisi
we.Youhi
tme"
heshout
s

"Don'
tfuckenr
aiseyourvoi
ceNkany
ezi
you
hearme.y ouhavenoright
"

"
Nx.Showerweneedt
otal
k"
Hel eaves.Whatdi dIjustdo.Ijusthi
thi m.Iget
i
nt heshoweranddomybusi ness.Igetoutand
getdr essedinabluef l
oralshortDress..It
showsof fmyt hi
ghs.Mybabybumpl ookscut e
i
nt hisdress.Igotot heloungeandf indhim
there.Hel ooksatme.Isi tdownandhei s
starri
ng.Hecl ear
shist hroat
.

"
Qini
si
weI
'
m sor
ry"

"Nkanyezi
youareal
wayssorry
,youhurtme
andthenyousayI'
m sor
ry.I
'
mt i
red.Ofyourl
i
es
yourcheati
ng,
I'
mjustdone"

"
Don'
tsayt
hat
"

"
Myfri
endNkanyezi
.Iwoul
dunder
standifi
t
wassomerandom whor
ebutNomhle."
"
Nanapl
ease"

"
Nana?Iwasn'
tyourNanawheny
ouwer
eal
lup
i
nNomhle'spussy"

Hel
ooksdownandt
akesouthi
sphone
Hegivesitt
omeandt el
lsmet owatchit
.I
watchthevi
deoanditsnomhleputti
ng
somethingi
nadri
nk.ThenNkany ezi
comesand
gul
psdownt hedr
ink.I
m shocked.

"
Youseei
tsnotmyf
aul
t"

"Nkanyezi
thi
sdidn'
tj
usti
fyt
hefactt
hatyou
cheatedonme.Okayletmeaskyouthi
shave
yousleptwit
hanyonesi
nceI'
vebeengone"
Hel
ooksdown.JustwhatIneeded.

"Nkanyeziyoudontthi
nk.Youalwaysusey our
dicktothinkandthenyouactal
linnocentwhen
thedamagehasal readybeendone.Idon'thav
e
ti
mef orthis,j
ustgetout
"

"Ipr
omi
seI'l
lchange,
justgi
veanot
herchance
babypl
ease"

Il
augh.Li
ker
eal
l
ylaugh

"
Youarecrazy
.Getout
.Gett
hef
uckout
Nkany
ezi
.Ahh" .

Thesebabi
esy
oh.Theki
ckst
heyar
egi
vi
ngme.
"whatwrong?"Hetouchesmyt ummyandt he
babi
eskickagai
n.Hef el
tthatbecausehehas
thewi
ldestsmil
eever

Welookateachother
.Thismomentj
usts
makesmycl i
ttomove.Ihav
en'
thadsexi
n3
months.Ohkay.

"Mmh,
youhav et
ogoIhav
etogosomewher
e"I
say
.Helooksatme.

"
Okay.Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
"

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

*
***
***
***
***
***
*NARRATED*
***
***
***
**
Qini
siweisatSizakhel
e'
shouse.Shehasbeen
knockingbutnoanswer.Sheopensthedoor
anditsnotlocked.Sheget
sin.

"
Mama"

"
Mamai
tsme"

"
Whatthef
uckMama"Si
zakhel
eisl
yi
ngont
he
f
loor
.

"
Mama"shef
eel
sherpul
se.I
tsst
il
lther
e.

Qi
nisi
wecall
sNkoseny
ebecausesheknowshe
wi
llbeher
esoon.
"
Makot
i"hesay
s

"NkosenyeIneedy
ourhel
pI'
l
lsendy
out
he
address"

"
Whatwr
ong,
arey
ouokay
"

Shehangsupandsendt
headdr
ess

.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Thebr
other
sallcomebargi
nginandtheypi
ck
mam Si
zakhel
eandtheyall
dri
vetothehospi
tal
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Att
hehospi
tal

I
tsbeenhour
sandst
il
lnofeedback.Fi
nal
l
ythe
doct
orcomesandQi
nisi
westandsup.

"
Uhm whoi
sQi
nisi
we"

"
Me"

"
Okay
,mi
ssZul
uwant
stoseey
ou"

Qi
nisi
wegoest
oherward.Ther
eshei
sly
ingon
t
hebedfaci
ngt
hecei
li
ng.

"
Mama"shelooksatherandshesmi
l
es.
Qi
nisi
wehasfal
li
ngtear
s.
"
Mamawhat
'swr
ong"

"
Thoset
woar
emyboy
s"

"
Mama.
"Theyar
ebot
hcr
yingnow

"
Qini
siwehel
pmesoIcangetarel
ati
onshi
p
wi
ththem.Idon'
thav
emuchti
me."

"
Whatdoy
oumean"

"
Qini
siweI'
m si
ck.Mycanceri
sback.Ihav
e
f
ourtofi
vemonthslef
t"

"
Mamanoo"
"Don'
tcrymybaby
.Justhel
pmet
ell
them"t
hey
arebothcr
ying

Qi
nisi
wekeepsnoddi
ng.
..
LedByLov
e

Cont
inuat
ion(
inser
t36)

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Wel lmam Sizakhelespenttwoday satthe

hospital
.Shegotdi schar
gedy est
erday.I'
ve
neverbeent hissadinmyl i
fe.WellI'
vebeensad
al
l myl i
febuty ouknowwhatImean.The
brothersarealsoveryworri
edaboutMam
Sizakhele.Theyhavebeenaccompany i
ngmet o
seemam Si zakhel
eandshecoul dn'
tstopthe
tear
severytimeshesawNkany eziand
Nkosenye.IthinkLuthandoknowssomet hi
ng
becauseheact sdif
ferentev
eryti
me.

Sot odayistheday .I'

m cur r
entlycooki
ngright
now.Thet i
mei s16:30andIj ustcameback
from work.Itoldthebr othersthatweallhavet o
talkat18:30andt heyal lagreed.Mam
Sizakhel
ei ssoscar ed.Shewant edtopostpone
butItoldherthatNkany eziandNkoseny emi ght
l
eav esoonandshewon' tgetachancel ikethis.
Sheev entuall
ygav ein.

Ther
eisaknocki
nthedoor

"
Whoi
sit
"
"Yourfuturehusband"ar
ghitsNkany
ezi
.Hei
s
soannoy ing.Heispushi
ngandforci
ngt
oohard.
Andt hatjustpi
ssesmeof f
.

Iopent
hedoor
.

"Whatdoy
ouwantNkany
ezi
.Thedi
nneri
sat
18:
30nowwhatt
hefuckdoyouwant
"

Hepushesmeasi
deandget
sin

"
Wel
lhel
l
otoy
out
oomyl
ove"

"
Arghy
ouar
esoannoy
ing"

*
hegi
ggl
es*
"
Mmmhi
tsmel
l
ssoni
cei
nher
e"

"
Iknow"Isay

Hechangest
heChanel
.

"Uhm excusemeMrI
'm watchi
ngt
he
Kardashi
ansarey
oucrazy
"

"
Mxm"hegoesbackt
oChanel
124

"
Howi
syourhouse"Isaysmi
l
ing

*
hel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
esandt
henl
aughs*
"
Thankgodmycarsar
eBul
l
etpr
oof
"Il
augh
whenhesay
sthat

"
Arey
ounotgonnaapol
ogi
se"hesay
s

"
No.Forwhat
?"

"
Formessi
ngupmyhouse"

"
Youdeser
vedi
t"

*
hel
ooksdown*

"
Iknow"hesay
s

"
Qini
si
we"
*Il
ookathi
m*

"
Doy
ouhat
eme"

*Il
ookathi
m.Yeshehur
tmebutHATEi
sabi
g
word*

"
NobutI
'
m hur
t"Isay

*
hel
ooksdown.Si
l
encef
il
lst
her
oom.
*

Itakeoutmyphoneanddi
alNkoseny
e's
number

"
Mot
heroft
hecubs"hesay
sandIl
augh.
Nkany
ezi
looksatme

"
Youar
ecr
azyIt
ell
you"

"
WhatcanIdof
ory
ou"

"Uh.
m canyoubr
ingmedoughnut
swheny
ou
comehere"

"
OKt
hatonl
y"

"
Andabur
gerpl
ease"

"
OK.andQi
nisi
we"

"
Yes"
"
Heregret
shurt
ingy
ou.Justpl
easedon'
tbe
t
oohardonhim."

"
I'
ll
try
"webothhangupandNkanyezi
isgi
vi
ng
meoneofthedeadl
iestst
ares.

"Whydidn'
tyoucal
lmeandaskfort
hat
"he
saysgett
inguPfr
om t
hecouch

"
Nkany
ezi
itsnobi
gdeal
"

"Don'tf
uckent el
lmet hat
.I'
mtryi
ngQi
nisi
we.
I'
mr eal
lyt
ryingbuty oukeeppushi
ngmeaway .
Imadeami stake.I
'm al
sohuman."hesaysand
Igethurti
nst ant
ly
"
Nka.
."

Hetakesouthi
sphoneandcal
lsNkosenyeand
t
ell
shim nott
obri
ngmet het
hingsIaskedf
or

"
I'
m gonnabuyt
hoset
hingsmy
sel
f"hesay
s

Heexi
ts.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

18:
30

I'
m eati
ngmyburgeranddoughnutsatt
he
samet i
meandNkany ezi
isl
ookingatmewit
ha
smileonhi
sface.
"
What
?"

"
Not
hingI
'
mjusthappy"hesay
s

Ishakemyhead

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Ev
ery
onej
ustar
ri
ved.I
'
m soscar
ed.

Weal lsett
ledownandeatbecauseIdishedup
foreveryone.Weeatinsil
encewit
hMam
Sizakhelesteal
inggl
ancesatNkoseny
eand
Nkany ezi
.Luthandoi
sjustl
ooki
ngdownt he
entir
et i
me.
Wef i
nisheat
ingandIt
aket
hedi
shest
othe
ki
tchen.

Icomebackandsi
tdown.

"Uhm Mam Si
zakhel
ewant
stot
ell
y'al
l
somethi
ng"

Al
leyesar
eonMam Si
zakhel
e.Hert
ear
sfal
l
.I
br
ushherback

"
Nka..
.Nkanyezi
andNkoseny
eI.
I'
m..
.I
'
myour
m..
.mother
"

Nkoseny
eandNkany
ezi
bur
stouti
ntol
aught
er.

"
Baf
oisi
tApr
il
"Nkoseny
esay
s
"
Idon'
tknowbutt
heypr
anki
ngf
orsur
e."
Nkany
ezisay
s

"
It
str
ue"Lut
handosay
s

Thefaci
alexpressi
onsonthetwinsi
s
unex
plai
nable.Full
ofrageandhate.

"Ionceov
erheadmyf at
hertalkingtohi
sfri
end
aboutmam Sizakhel
eandt wins.Mymotheris
notyourmotherbutsheis"Luthandosays

Thetwi
nsarel
ookingatLut
hando.Hat
eist
he
onl
ywordtodescr
ibethi
s

"
Whatt
hef
uckdoy
ouwant
.Youwantmoney
"
Nkany
ezi
asksmam Si
zakhel
e

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Voet
sekwena"

"
Nkany
ezi
cal
m down"

"
FuckyouLut
hando.Youhav
ebeenl
yi
ngt
ous
t
hiswhol
eti
me"

Luthandorushest
oNkany
ezi
andgr
abshi
m by
thetroat

"
Don'
teversayfuckyoutome.I'
m oldert
han
y
ousofuckenrespectme.Iwasn'
ttherewhen
y
ourmotherandfatherwer
efucki
ngokayso
don'
tbl
ameme.I
'l
lcutyourpeni
sandf
eedi
tto
youdon'
tpi
ssmeoff
."

Lut
handoleav
es.It
snowmeNkany
ezi
,
Nkoseny
eandSizakhel
e.

Nkosenyestandupandgoest othefridge.He
poursjui
ceanddrinkf
rom aglass.Het hrows
theglassacr
osstheroom anditbreaks

"I
'
m sorr
yjustl
etmeexpl
ainpl
ease"Si
zakhel
e
sayscr
ying

Nkanyezi
takesoutagunf
rom hi
sbackand
poi
ntsatSizakhel
e.

Ir
ushandst
andi
nfr
ontofSi
zakhel
e.Iknowhe
won'
tshootme.

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Shutup!
"Hescr
eams.

Hest
art
shi
tt
inghi
msel
fwi
tht
hegun.

"
Nkoseny
edosomet
hing"Ipl
ead
Nkoseny
eisbusyhav
ingaf
istf
ightwi
tht
he
wall
.

"
Whatki
ndofmot
herdoest
hist
oherki
ds"

"
Pleasemysonl
etmeexpl
ain"Si
zakhel
esay
s
"
Son.Don'
tcal
lmet
hat
"Nkany
ezi
say
s

Nkoseny
eleav
escl
i
cki
nghi
stongue.

"I
fIseeorsmellyouclosetome.Bestbel
i
eve
I'
l
lki
lly
ou"Nkany ezisaysandhel
eaves
sl
ammi ngthedoor.

Si
zakhel
ecr
ies.Shescr
eams.Ihol
dhert
ight
..

"Qini
siwepl
easehelpme.I '
m sorr
y.Ineedto
tel
l t
hem Il
ovethem befor
eIdie.WhathaveI
donesobad.i twasn'tmyfault
.Iwastryi
ngto
protectt
hem."

"
Iknowmama"
Shecar
ri
esoncr y
ingt
il
lshehashiccups.We
gotobedtoget
herwit
hherholdi
ngmet i
ght
.
I
nser
t37

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Ihaven'
theardf rom anyoft hebr ot
hersi nli
kea
week.Truthbbet ol
dI '
vev eryver ywor r
iedabout
NkanyeziandNkoseny e.Imeangr owingup
hardandbel i
evi
ngt hatbot hy ourpar entsare
dead.Thenboom y earslatery ouf i
ndoutt hat
youhaveamot her.Icansor tofunder stand
whytheyar esomadbutIj ustf eelreall
ybadf or
Mam Sizakhele.Shej ustwant sher eboy sto
acceptherandl ovehersi nceshehassuchl i
tt
le
ti
met oli
ve.

*
rrr
rrr
*myphoner
ings.I
tsLut
handoIpi
cki
tup
"
BhutLut
hando"Isay

"
Hel
l
oQi
nisi
we.Howar
eyou?
"

"
I'
mli
vi
ng.You?
"

"
AiI'
m gett
ingt
here.Sohav
eyouhear
dfr
om
Nkanyezi
orNkosenye"

"
No"

"
Eish.Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackt
oSA"hesay
s

"
I'
veal
readybookedaf
li
ght
.I'
l
lbet
her
emay
be
t
omorr
ow"
"
Okay
.Wor
k?"

"Ialreadyresi
gned.Ihavetocomeback
Lut hando.Ican'
tkeeprunni
ngforever.Thelast
thingIwanti sformykidstohaveal ong
distancerelati
onshi
pwiththei
rfather"Isay

"Mmh.Wer eal
lyneedy ou.AndpleaseNkanyezi
needsy oumore.Thel astthi
ngIwantforhi
mi s
torelapse.Heisnottakingthesenewsreal
ly
well.
"Hesay s

Hol
dup.Whatdoest
hisni
ggameanbyr
elapse?

"
Lut
handowhatdoy
oumeanr
elapse"Iask
"Uhm.Hedi dn'
ttellyou.WellNkany ezi hada
drugpr oblem threey earsago.I tgotsobadt oa
pointwher ehewasadmi t
tedatt hehospi tal
becauseheov erdosed.Her eallywor kedhar dto
bewher ehei srightnow.Thr eey earscl ean.I
woul dn'
tf orgi
vemy sel
fifher elapsed.Ishoul d
hav etoldt hem sooner"Hesay s.Icanf eelhis
voicebr eaking

"Lut
handoit
snotyourfaul
t.Yourfathershould
havetol
dthem ear
li
ernowy ouareleftwit
ht hi
s
l
oad"Isay

*
hesniff
s.Omgishecr
ying.Lut
hando
Mthet
hwaiscr
ying*

"Qi
nisi
weIj
ustf
eel
li
ket
heyhat
emenow"he
says
"LookLuthando,t
heydonthat
ey ou.Theyar
e
j
ustangrythat'
sit
.Trustmetheywillcome
around"Isay

"
Yout
hinkso?
"Heasks

"
Iknowso"Isay

"
Okay.SleepnowIknowy
out ir
edplusyouhave
alongdaytomorr
owandpleasetakecareof
mynephews"hesays

"
Okay
.Goi
ngni
ght
"

Hehangsup.Waitami
nutewhosai
dI'
m
car
ryi
ngboys.Ei
shmensometi
mes.
If
eelsosadforLut
hando.Iknowf
orsurethat
Nkanyezi
andNkosenyehatehimr
ightnow.

Ialr
eadyt ol
dMam Si zakhelethatI'
m goi
ng
backtoSAt omor r
ow.Shewassosad.Shej ust
cri
ed.Ifeltr
eal
lybadf orher.Nkanyeziand
Nkoseny earehardnutst ocrack.Shehastotry
real
lyhardinordertowi nthem over.

Iopenthecover
sandgeti nbed.Itakemy
phoneanddialNkany
ezi'snumber.Itr
ingsand
ri
ngstil
li
tgoestovoi
cemai l
.Idi
alNkosenye
andital
sori
ngs.Hepi cksupafterThe4thring.

"
Makot
i"hesay
s

"
Hel
l
oNkoseny
e"
"
Howar
eyoumybr
other
'squeen"

"
I'
m good.You?
"

"
I'
m okay
"hesay

"
Tryagai
n.Howar
eyouNkoseny
e?"

"
I'
mfi
neQi
nisi
we"hesay
s

"Nkoseny
epl
easest
opf
ool
i
ngme.I
'
m nota
kid.
"Isay

Hesi
ghs
"Trut
hbet ol
dQini
siwe.Idon'
tknowhowIam.I
feell
ikeI'
vebeenl
ivi
ngal i
eall
myl i
fe.I
tsl
ikei
don'tevenknowwhoIam any more."hesays

Myhear
tbr
eaks

"
Nkoseny
ejustl
etherexpl
ain"Isay

"
NoQini
siwe.I
fshewant
edus.Shewoul
dhav
e
l
ookedf
orus"hesays

"Maybeshedi
dtry
.Remembery oudi
dn'
tev
en
giv
eherachancetoexpl
ain"Isay

"
Idon'
tneedanyexpl
anat
ion"hesay
s

"
Sohowl
ongar
eyoupl
anni
ngonact
ingl
i
ke
ki
ds.Nkoseny
ey ouareold.Youar egoingtobe
anuncl
eforgodssake.Ar eyougonnat eachmy
ki
dstobecowar ds.Torunawaywhent hi
ngs
gett
ouch.Nkosenyeletherexpl
ain"Isay

Hesi
ghs

"
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t"hesay
s

"Pl
easebequi
ckbecauseI'
m pregnantandI
don'
tneedt
obestressed"Isay

Hegi
ggl
es

"
You'
resuchabul
l
y"hesay
sandIl
augh

"
Sohav
eyouhear
dfr
om Nkany
ezi
"Iask
"
No.Ihav
ehear
dorseenhi
m si
ncet
hatday
"

Iknowwhatdayhemeans

"
Okay
."Isay

"Qi
nisi
weI '
m worr
iedabouthi m.Nkanyezii
snot
l
ikeme.Hehasal itofangerandIdon'twant
himtoendupi nthatdarkplaceagain.Hehas
beenthroughalot."hesay s

"ButNkoseny
ehowcanIbether
eforhim when
Idon'tev
enknowwherehei
s.Heisnoteven
picki
ngupmycall
s"Isay

"
Keept
ryi
nghel
ovesy
ousohewi
l
lli
stent
o
y
ou"hesay
s

"
OkayIwi
l
lgoodni
ght
.I'
m comi
ngback
t
omorr
ow"

"
OkayI
'
llf
etchy
ouatt
heai
rpor
t"hesay
s

Webot
hhangup.

Isendamessaget
oNkany
ezi

*
I'
m comi ngbackt
omor r
ow.Nkanyezipl
ease
j
ustgiveherachance.Wewil
lgothroughthi
s
t
ogether.Icar
eaboutYou.Ny
ezi*

Ipullt
hecov
er.Irestmyhead.Tomor
rowis
goingtobealongday.Icl
osemyeyesthenI
'm
of
ftol
alal
and.
LedByLov
e

I
tsShor
t.

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Whatthef
uckist
hatsmel l
.MmmhJesustake
menow.Whatisthatawful
lsmel
l
.Ir
aisemy
head.MYeyesmeetthi
spunk.

"
Whatt
hef
ucki
sthatsmel
lNkany
ezi
"Isay

"
Goodmor
ningt
oyout
oomyl
ove"hesay
s

Lov
e??
Igetoutofbedandr
unt othebathroom.There
i
ssomet hi
ngonmyt hr
oat.Itakeitall
out.I
thr
owupl i
kehell
andNkany ezii
sbusybr ushi
ng
mybackmaki ngmoreandmor eirri
tated.

"
Gety
ourf
uckenhandsof
fmewena?
"Isay

Heget
shi
shandsof
fme.

IwashmymouthandthenIst
ri
pmycl
othes
andgeti
ntheshower
.

I
'
m donei
n5mi
nut
es.

Icomeoutandhaveatowelwrappedaround
mybody.Igothr
oughhiscl
othesandtheonly
fi
tformetoweari
shi
sboxerandhi
sov
ersi
zed
tshir
tsoIoptf
ort
hat
.

Igodownst
air
sandy
oht
hatsmel
lagai
n.

"
Nkany
ezi
whati
sthatsmel
l
"Isay

"
HawI
'
m maki
ngbr
eakf
astnj
ena"hesay
s

Mxm.Igot othefridgeandtakeout
may onnai
seandpeanutbutter.Utakeoutthe
breadandspreadthepeanutbutterand
may onnai
seonit.Ipoursomemi lkandyepI'
m
goodnow.

"Mmmhthi
sist
hety
peofshi
tIl
i
ke"Isaywit
h
somebr
eadinmymout
h.Whoknewthisshi
t
t
ast
essogood.

Hehasthemostdi
sgust
edl
ookonhi
sface
r
ightnow.

"
Whati
sit
"

"
Not
hing"hesay
sIcar
ryonwi
theat
ing.

Her
unsupst
air
s.

*
beepbeep*

Who'sphoneisthat
.Ohi t
sNkanyezi
'
s.Thank
godthi
sniggadoesn'thaveapasswordsoI
openthebloodyphoneanditsamessage.
I
tsapicture.Anudepi
ctureatt
hat
.It
sthatgi
rl
f
ormy esterday
.What'
shernameagain.
Minenhl
e.Shesnakedwi t
hthecapt
ion.*t
hisi
s
whatyou'remissi
ngouton*

Ifeel
thetearsfor
mi ngi
nmyey es.Wil
lIev
erbe
happywithNkanyezi wi
thouthoesalwaystr
ying
andhim al
lowingthem.

Hecomesdownandl ooksatme.Hecansee
t
hatI
'v
ebeencr
ying.

"
Qini
si
wewhat
'swr
ong"hesay
s

Il
ookathi
m.Ithr
owThephoneathi
m.I'
m out
ofher
e.It
akemycarkey
sandI'
m out
.
"
Qini
si
webabyIdi
dn'
ttel
lhert
osendmet
his"

"Youknowwhatfuckyou.I'
m donewi t
hy ou.
Yourhoes.Youar
ejustanass.Idon'tknow
whatIsawinyou.Nkanyeziyouneedtofucken
growup"

"
PleaseI
'
llbl
ockher"hesay
s

"Onethingyoushoul
dbedoi ngiscutt
ingyour
dickbecauseyoufontdeser
v ei
t.You'
renota
man"Isaygetti
nginmycar .

Iknowforsur
ethathurthi
m.Idr
ive.Mxm t
his
niggai
ssodamnchi l
dish.
It
akeoutmyphoneandsendhi
m at
ext
.

*Fr
idayMam Si zakheleiscoming.Meet i
ngat
mypl aceSatur
daymakesur eyouar ethere.I
'm
notaskingyouI'mt el
li
ngy oui
nt hemeant ime
goandf uckMinenhl eoryourotherhow's
becausethat'
st heonlythi
ngyour egoodat .
*

I
tsshorty
'al
lpl
easef
orgi
veme.I
'
llpost
t
omorrow.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t38

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Hel
ooksatme.Hel
ooksscar
edIcan'
texpl
ain
hi
mri
ghtnow.

"
Whoi
sMi
nenhl
eNkany
ezi
?"Iask.I
'
mfumi
ng.

"
Qin.
..
"Ir
aisemyhandi
nter
rupt
inghi
m

"
Youar eselfi
shNkanyezi
.Ar
en'
tyouthesame
Guywhocamet oBotswanai
nvadi
ngmyspace.
Wantingust owor
knowy oubusycal
l
ingo
Minenhle"Isay

"BabyI'
m sor
ry"hesay
s.Thi
sni
ggai
sreal
l
y
crazy
.

"Baby?Don'
tfuckwit
hmeNkany ezi
please
don'tpi
ssmeof f
.Im supposedtobesleeping
becauseI'
mfuckingtir
edfrom t
hefl
ightinstead
I'
m her
elooki
ngaf
termybr
ainl
essbaby
daddy
."
Isay

Heclencheshi
sjaws.Helookshell
ascaryri
ght
now.ButI'
ll
bedammedi fIlethi
minti
mididat
e
me.

"
Don'
tcal
lmebr
ainl
ess"

"TellmehowdoIexpl ai
ny ourbehav i
our
nkany eziIam fuckenpregnant.Idon'tneedthe
stressy ouaregivingme.Ibegy ouifyoudon't
wantt obepar toft hi
spregnancyt ell
me.I'
m
notoneofy ourhoest hatwill
runar oundyou
beggingy ou.Idon'thavetimef orthatnx"Isay
andt henIf eelpai
nonmyhead.Ihol dmyhand.
Hecomescl oserandholdsme.Ipushhi m.
"
Youst
ink"Isay

Hechuckl
es

"Takeashower,
Icooked"Isayandgo
downstai
rs.

Ifi
l
lagl
asswi
thwat
erandgul
pitdowni
none
go.
Icont
inuewiththepots.I
tsmellsr
eal
lyni
ce.I
'
m
areal
lygreatcookevenifIsaysomyself
.

……….
.

Hecomesdownstair
slooki
ngli
kehejustcame
outofafuckenmagazi
ne.Hehasonablack
tor
njeanandamaroonNiketshir
tandfl
ops.
Justt
hatbuthemanagest
omakemycl
i
tmov
e.

"Youarestar
ring"hesay
sandIcl
earmyt
hroat
.
Idishupforthebothofus.

Hesi
tsdownandIgi
vehi
m hi
sfoodandIal
so
t
akemine.Wedi
gin.

"
Nkany
ezi
!"Agi
rlscr
eamsasshebar
gesi
n.

Herey
esmeetmi
ne.Shel
ooksshockedt
osee
me.

"
Baby"shesay
s.Nkanyezi
isl
ooki
ngatmeand
I
'
ml ooki
ngatthi
sbi
tch.

"
Minenhl
epl
easegoIdon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his"
Nkanyezisay
sandt
hegi
rll
ookssomewhat
shocked.

"
Excuseme"sheasks

"Ar
edeaforyouar
enat
ural
l
yst
upi
dbi
tch.He
sai
dgo"Isay

"
I'
m nottal
kingtoyou"shesayst
ome.OkayI
mightbepregnantbutbi
tchdon'
tfuckwi
thme.

Ist
andupandNkany
ezi
stopsme

"
I'
ll
handl
ethi
s."hesay
s

Hegoestowardthegi
rl(
Minenhl
e)andgr
abs
herf
orcef
ull
y.Shescr
eams
"
Justgetout!
"Heshout
s.

Hetakesheroutoft
hehouseIhearhi
m
shout
ingather
.Ohshamethepoorgir
l.

Hecomesbacksl
ammingthedoor.Hesi
ts
downandl
ooksatme.I
m sweati
ng.

"
Arey
ouokay
"heasks

"
DontIl
ookokay
"Isay

Hesi
ghs.

"
Nkany
ezi
doy
ouwantt
odi
e.Imeandoy
ou
wantt
ogetki
l
led"Iaskandheswal
l
ows.

"
Nowhy
?"

"
JustAski
ng"Isay

"Qi
nisi
wedon'
ttel
lmeyoupoi
sonedmyf
ood"
hesaysandIchuckl
e

"
Ali
tt
lerat
exher
eandther
enev
erhur
tany
one"I
wi
nkathim.Hi
seyespop

"
I'
mjustki
ddi
ng"Isayandhesi
ghs.Il
augh.

Weeatinsi
l
ence.Webothf i
nisheat
ingandI
taket
hedi
shestotheki
tchen.Iwashthem and
comeback.
"
Whendi
dyoubuyt
hishouse"Iask

"Acoupleofdaysago"hesays.Mustbeni
ce
bei
ngrich.Imeanyoujustbuyahouse
wheneveryoufeell
i
keit.

"NkanyezicanIsaysomethi
ng.*
Henods*y
ou
cantkeepr unni
ngfor
ever
.Canyoupl
easel
et
herexplai
n."

Hecl
encheshi
sjaws

"Qi
nisi
wedoy ouknowt
hethingswehavebeen
thr
ough.Thethi
ngswehadtodotosurv
ive.We
str
uggledandshewasal
iv
e."Hesays
"Nkanyeziy
oucan' tblameMam Si zakhelefor
otherpeopl
e'sactions.Shedidn'
tkil
lyourfather
andhiswifebutNat hi
'
sfatherdi
d.Howwas
shegoingtof i
ndy ou.Youdon'tevenknowi f
shedidtrytofindy oubecauseyoudidn'teven
l
etherexplain"Isay

Helooksatme.HeknowsI 'm maki

ngsense.
Mytearsfal
l
.Whenev erIl
ookathim If
eel
pai
ned.Il
ovehim sosomuchbuthekeepson
hur
ti
ngmeal lt
het i
me.

Heget
supf
rom hi
schai
randcomest
ome.

"Don'tcryplease.OkayI'
llgi
veherachancet o
explain.Youcancallherandl etherknowt hat
I'
mr eadyt otal
kjustdon'tcr
ymysunshi ne."He
saysandInod.Hewi pesmyt earsandkisses
myey es.
Il
ookathi
m.CallmeahoebutIwanthi
m.He
ki
ssesmyli
ps.Ideepent
heki
ss.Wemoanin
eachot
her
smout hs.

Hegrabsmyboob.Mycliti
sinheav
en.I'
m wet
downther
e.Iwanthi
m butIdon'
twanthi
m
i
nsideme.Iwantustogotesti
ngfi
rst
.

Hepicksmeupandputsmeontopoft he
ki
tchentabl
e.Het
akesofmycl
othesand
underwear.

"Imissedyou"hesay
s.Heopensmyl egsand
star
tskissi
ngmyinnert
highs.Heav
en.Heaven
onear t
h.

I
'
m amoani
ngmess
Heki
ssesmycooki
e.Hest
art
seati
ngi
t.Hi
s
t
ongueisdoi
ngt
hedamnthang.

"Nka….
mmmh"heput shistongueinsi
deme
andIraisemyupperbodylookingathim.Ican
feelmyselfbui
l
dingup.

Hest
opsandl
ooksatme.
"
NkanyeziIdon'
twantyoutoputitinsi
deme.I
meanyouhav ebeenfucki
ngdi
fferentgi
rl
sI
mean"Isay

Henods

"
Iunder
stand.Wewil
lgof
ort
est
ingt
omor
row.
"
HesaysandIsmil
e.
"
Don'
tmov
e"hesay
s

Hegoest othef r
idgeandtakeoutanI ceCube.
Hecomest ome.Heput sthei cei nhi
smout h
andgoesbackt omycooki e.Hegoesupand
downwi ththecubeonmycooki e.Ican'thelp
butmoan.It ouchhisheadbr ushingitand
pushingi ti
nsideme.Ican'tf eel thecoldnessof
thecubeany more.Iguessi tmel ted.Icanf eel
him shov etwof i
ngersinsi
deme.I nsi
deandout
i
naf astpace.Inacoupl eofmi nutesIrelease.
Helicksmecl eanandcomest omyf aceand
star
tski ssi
ngmemaki ngmet astemy self.Sal
ty
andIdon' tl
ikethet ast
e.

"I
'
m sor
ry"hesay
s.Iknowwhathei
ssor
ryf
or.
Iki
sshi
m.
Foryouri
nfor
mat i
on.Hesuckedanf
inger
edme
ontopofthekit
chentabl
e.Mmmh.

Hepicksmeupandtakesmeupstair
s.I
'
m so
t
ir
ed.Hegoestothebathr
oom andcomesback
wi
thawettowel.

"Openup"hesay sandIopenmyl egs.Hewipes

mecl eanandki ssesmyv agi
na.Igi
ggle.He
takethetowel backtothebathr
oom andcomes
back.Het akesof fhi
sclot
hesandgetsinbed
withme.

"Il
oveyouQini
siwe"Iki
sshi
m.Irestmyhead
onhischestwhi
leheplayswi
thmyhair
.
LedByLov
e

Shor
tbonus
Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Isweart
hatwasthelongestf
li
ghtIhaveever
beenoninmyentir
eli
fe.Iwai
ti
ngattheair
port,
soNkosenyeisf
etchi
ngmebutI '
vebeen
waiti
ngf
orhimforquit
esomet i
menowand
sti
l
lnosignofhi
m.

"BeepBeep*It ur
nmyat t
enti
ont othecar
hooti
ng.Ilookatat.ItsaBMW i 8redcolour
.A
mancomesoutofi t
.WaitisthatNkosenye?.
Holyshithelooksjustli
keNkany ezi
.Iknow
howt oseparatethem though.IknowtheoneI
wasf ucki
ng.

Hecomescl
oserwhi
l
esmili
ng.Ev
eryoneis
l
ooki
ngathi
m.Hescreamsmoney.Helooks
l
i
kemoney
.Hei
smoney
.

"Makot
i"hesay
sandIl
aughandhughi
m.He
hugsmeback.

"
Howar
eyouNkoseny
e"Isay

"
I'
m amazi
ngsunshi
nehowar
eyou"hesay
s

"
Real
l
yNkoseny
e,sunshi
ne?
"

HelaughsandIjoi
nhi
m.Wegeti
nthecarand
hestar
sdriv
ing.

"Coul
dn'
tyouj
ustcomeher
eusi
ngar
eal
car
"I
say
Hel
aughs

"Yoht
hisi
sthebestmoneycanbuy,butI
promi
senextt
imeill
comewiththex6."
Ismi
l
e.Il
ovet
hex
6noj
oke

Thedriveisfi
l
ledwithlaughter.Nkosenyei s
onecrazydude.Il
ov ehimt hough.Iwoul dn'
t
tr
adehimf oranyt
hing.Iwonderwher emybaby
daddyis.SoNkoseny edropsmeof fatZinzi'
s
house.Sheisnotherey etbecauseshei saway
onabaecat i
onwithherbabydaddysoy ah.

"Cal
lmei
fyouneedany
thi
ngokay
"hesay
sand
Inod
"
Nkosenyewhendoy out
hinkyouar
egonnabe
r
eadytofaceher
"IaskheknowswhatI
'm
t
alki
ngabout.

"Don'
tpushitQi
nisi
we"hesay
sandhugsme
andleaves.

Isettl
ein.Fi
rstl
yItakeashowerandget
dressedinnicercl
othes.Ispr
aymyperf
ume
j
ustf ort
hesakeofi t.It
akemylapt
opandst
art
l
ookingf orj
obsonline.

Mymindisnotevenher
e.Wher
eisNkanyezi
?
Howcoul
dhej ustgoMIAonme.I
'm pr
egnant
f
orgodssake.

Itakemyphoneandcall
him.Itr
ingsandri
ngs
ti
l
l i
tgoest
ovoicemai
l
.Icall
him agai
n.I
tri
ngs
andt
hensomeonepi
cksup.

"
Nkanyezi
'
sphonehel
l
o"hol
ymot
her
fuckeri
tsa
woman.

"
Hiwher
eisNkany
ezi
?"Isay

"
Andwhoar
eyou"

"
Thewomanwhoshoul dbeaskingyout
hat.For
y
ouri
nfor
mationI'
m hi
swifebi
tchsowherethe
f
ucki
she?"Isay.I
'
mf umingri
ghtnow.

"Mxm wear
esomewher
eli
vi
ngourl
i
ves"she
says

Thi
sbi
tchdoesn'
tknowme.Ical
lMsi
zi
,
Nkany
ezi
'
sbr
other
.

"Makoti
"hesay
s.Idon'
tknowwhyal
lthese
niggascal
lmeMakoti

"
HiMsi
ziIneedy
out
otrackNkany ezi
'snumber
f
ormeandsendmethelocat
ion"Isay

"Giv
ehim somet
imeQi
nisi
wehewi
l
lcome
around"

"
Justdot
hisf
orme.Pl
ease"

"
Okay
"hesay
s

I
n5mi nut
eshesendsmethel
ocat
ion.It
ake
mycarkeyswher
eZinzi
tol
dme.Igetinmycar
anddr
ive.

…………….

Ihaveneverbeeni
nthi
ssideoft
own.Thegate
i
sopenedsoIgetin.Thi
shouseishuge.I
ts
Nkanyezi
'
sbecauseonthedri
vewayit
swrit
ten
*NYAMBOSE* .
Therei
snoisecomingf
rom t
hei
nsi
de.SoI
guesst
hisniggai
shavi
ngapart
y.

Igetinsideyohit
ssopacked.Girlsever
ywher e.
Thereisnoisecomingfrom upstai
rs.Ir
unther e.
Nkany ezii
sonthefloor
.Wi t
hhisnosebleeding.
Itl
ooksl i
kehewasi nafightj
udgingbyhisface
andhisl i
pitst
orn.

"
Stopal
lofy
ougetout
"Ishout
Irunbackdownst
air
s.Waiti
sthatcocai
neon
thetabl
e.Somebi
tchesarebusyi
nhali
ngit
.Igo
totheradi
oandswit
chitoff
.

"
Aaahhwhatt
hef
uck?
"Theyal
lsay

"Ladi
esandgentl
emen.Thepol
icear
eontheir
wayheresoifIwereyouIwoul
dgetoutofher
e
asinnowbeforey'
all
getarr
est
edfordr
ugs"I
shout

Everyonestandsupandstart
srunni
ngt
owards
thedoor.Inamat t
erof10minutest
hehousei
s
all
cleared.Suchcowards.

Thereisweed,drugsev
erythi
ngil
l
egal
.Ijust
praythatNkany
ezidi
dn'
ttouchanyoft
his.I
sortofunderstandandI '
m notmad.Hei sin
pai
nandev eryonedealswithpaindi
ffer
ently
.
Henev erjudgedmewhenIusedt ocutmy
wri
stsev eryti
meIwasi npain.WhatIwon't
tol
eratethoughi shimfuckingdif
fer
entbit
ches
andwant ingsexev er
ytimehei sgoi
ngt hr
ough
someshi t.Thereareawhol elotOfSTI'
s.Ifhe
i
sgoi ngthroughsomet hingweshouldtalkri
ght?

Ist
artcleani
ngthehouse.Imightbepregnant
butthatdoesn'
tmeanI'
m disabled.Ist
art
cl
eaning.Itakethebot
tl
esout .Idoeveryt
hing.
Thereareusedcondomsher e.Iguessthese
werereall
ybusy.

………….
.

Inabout2hourst
hehousei
sspotl
ess.I
'
m
evenstar
ti
ngthepot
s.Ther
eisnotmuchint
his
housebutI
m managi
ng.I
'
m cooki
ngmi
nceand
ri
ce.Hewil
lhav
etomanage.

"
Minenhl
e"hei
sshout
ingf
rom hi
sroom.

Igoupandgeti
nsi
de

"
It
snotMi
nenhl
eit
sQi
nisi
we"

Heopenshi
seyesinshock.Helooksatmeli
ke
hei
sseingaghostorsomethi
ng.Noniggai
ts
me.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t39
Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Okaysowhatj usthappened.SoQi ni
siwejust
didwhatshedi d.Idon'tbeli
eveitbutI
'm going
toletitpass.IswearifQini
siwewasntpr egnant
Iwoul dhav esl
appedtheshitoutofher .Let
'
s
j
ustt hankt hel
ordIdon'tshootblanksImade
herpr egnantbecauseifshewasn't.Ncncnc.
Wewi llbl
amet hehormonesf ornow.

I'
ml ooki
ngatthisnudephot othatMi nenhle
sentme.Ireall
ydon'tknowwhat '
sthisgirl
s
problem.If
uckedheronce.Okayt wicebutt hat
doesn'tmeansheshoul dtextmewi tht hesedry
asaweet bi
xpi ct
ures.I
'm notevenchar med
i
nfactitsafuckenturnoff
.

ItakemycarKey
s.Im dr
ivi
ngtoherhouseri
ght
now.Ihav
etoputthi
shoei nherpl
ace.I
'
m not
abouttol
osemykidsandt
hemotherofmy
chi
ldr
enbecauseoFsomehoe.

Hear
tbeat
ingf
ast
Letani
ggaknowt
hatheal
i
ve
Fakeni
ggasmad
Snakessnakesi
nthegr
ass
Letani
ggaknowt
hat
Hear
ri
ve
Don'
tbesl
eepi
ngon
Yourl
evel
cozi
tsbeaut
yint
he
St
ruggl
eni
gga

I
tsbeaut
yint
hest
ruggl
eni
gga(
beaut
y,
beaut
y)
I
tsbeaut
yint
hest
ruggl
eugl
i
nessi
nthe
Success
Hearmywor
dsorl
i
stent
omy
Si
gnal
ofdi
str
ess
Igr
ewupi
ntheci
tyandt
hough
Somet
imeswehadl
ess
Compar
edt
osomeni
ggasdown
Thebl
ockmanwewasbl
essed
Andl
i
fecan'
tbenof
air
ytal
eno
Onceuponat
ime
ButI
'
dbegoddamni
fani
ggadon'
tbet
ryi
ng

IswearJCol edistr
essesme.Ij ustarr
ivedat
thi
sbitch'
shouse.Iknockandsheopenswi th
thebiggestsmileonherf ace.Shei sareall
y
pret
tygirlIdon'
twantt ol
iebutshei sj
ustnot
forme.Iaj t
egir
lsthatthr
owt hemselvesatme.
It
sacompl etet
urnoffIdon'tknowabouty ou
butforme.
"
Nyezi"shesays.Fir
stl
yli
stenherebi
tch
Qi
nisiweist
heonl yonewhoi sal
lowedtocal
l
met hat
.Notsomer andom how's

"
Don'
tcal
lmet
hat.Mygirl
fr
iendcall
smet
hat
.
How'
scal
lmeNkanyezi
"Igetinsi
de.
Mmhni ceplaceIwonderhowmanydi
cksshe
suckedtogethere.

"
Imi
ssedy
ou"shesay
s

"
List
engirl
y.Ij
ustcameheret
ot el
lyoutoleave
mealone.Idon'
tlovey
ou.Neverdi
dnev erwil
l
.
Wehadf unIdon'
twanttol
iebutyou'r
ejustnot
f
orme."
Shehast
ear
sinherey
es.Ai
thi
siswhatIhat
e.
Tear
s.

"
HawNkanyeziIt
houghtwehadat
hinggoi
ng.I
mean"shesay
s

"Li
stenMi nenhleyouareveryprett
yyoujust
needsomeonewhoi sgoingtoloveyouand
unfortunatel
yI'
m notthatperson.I
'minl
ov e
withsomeoneel seandIhavekidsontheway .I
can'thurtv
nygirlli
kethat
"Isay.Ican'
tbeli
eve
I'
m socal mrightnow.

"NoNkanyezi
soy
ouj
ustusemeandl
eav
eme"
shesays

Ican'
thel
pit
.Il
augh.Li
ker
eal
l
ylaugh.
"Ai
bopleasedon'tdothat.I
tspat
heti
casshit.
YouseeI 'mreal
l
ycalmr i
ghtnow.Andplease
don'
tthinkaboutdoi
ngsomet hi
ngcrazyli
ke
thr
eateningmebecausey ouwon'tl
i
kethe
consequences.Okay"

Sheunbott
onsherrobe.Hol
yfuckshei
snaked
underneat
h.Herbodyboy.Shecomescl
oser.

"Nkanyezidoyour
eal
l
ywantt omissoutonthi
s
huh"shetouchesmydick.Sheput
sherhandin
mypant s.
Mmhht hi
sfeel
ssogood.Icl
osemyeyes.Isee
her
.IseeQini
siwe.Howhurtshewoul
dbe.

IpushMinenhleandgi
veherahotsl
ap.She
holdshercheekwit
htear
scomingout.
"Li
stenhereyoubit
ch,Iwantyoutoleaveme
thefuckal
one.Don'tcal
lmeoranythingtr
ust
mebi t
ch.Youdon'twanttomesswithme"I
sayandgetoutslammi ngthedoor
.

Myhearti
sbeat
ingsof
ast
.Inear
lycheat
ed
agai
n…

Qi
nisi
we'
sper
spect
ive

Daysflyshame.Ican'tbeli
eveitsSat urday
alr
eady.Mam Sizakhelearri
vedy esterdayso
todayisthedayofthe"meet i
ng".I'm soscared.
SoIhav en'
tseenNkany ezisi
ncet hatday .He
hasbeencalli
ngmW nonst opandsendi ng
messagesbutIdon'thav etheener gyf orhi
m.If
hereall
ywantsust obet ogetherhehast o
fuckengrowup.
"DoIl
ookokay
"mam Si
zakhel
easks

"
Yesmay
oul
ookgr
eat
"

"Doyout
hinkt
heywi
l
lappr
oveoft
hisl
ook"she
asks

"
AiboMayoul
ookper
fectr
emembert
hisi
snot
adater
emember
"

"
QinisiweIjustwantthem toseethatI'
ma
r
espect abl
ewomannotagol ddiggerwant
ing
t
heirmoneyIhav emyown"shesay sl
ooki
ngat
me.Iseet hehurti
nherey es.Hertear
sare
f
ormi ng.Shebli
nksthem awaylookingup
"Ihopet
heyl
i
ket
hef
oodImadef
ort
hem"she
says

"
Trustmet
heywi
l
lmama"

Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es.

"ThankyousomuchQi ni
siwe.Ithi
nkGod
broughtust
ogetherfort
his.Idon'
tknowwhatI
wouldhavedonewithoutyou."Shesays

"Ohstopi
tbef
oreyoumakemecr ywoman"I
sayandwebothburstouti
ntolaught
erunt
ilwe
aredi
stur
bedbyaknockont hedoor

Igoandopent
hedoor
.It
sal
lfi
veoft
hem.
Msizi
,
Nkanyezi
,Nkosenye,Lut
handoand
Mthunzi
looki
ngallBel
lahotinbl
ack.Mmhhh.

"
Comei
nandpl
easebehav
e"t
heyl
augh.
Nkany
ezi
kissesmyf
orehead.FornowIl
ethi
m
be.

Theyallsi
tdown.Mam Sizakhel
eisj
ustlooki
ng
atever
yone.Sheisshaki
ng.Iknowforsureshe
wantstocry.

"Mamat hi
sisMthunzi
andMsizi
,guyst
hisi
s
Mam Sizakhel
e.Si
ncey'
al
lhav
enevermet
bef
ore"Isay

"
Sawubonamama(hi
mama)
"theybot
hsay
"
Sani
bona(
Hi)
"shesay
s

Wedishupf orev
ery
oneandweleav
ethem
whi
l
et heyeat.Wegotomyroom.

"
I'
m soscar
edQi
nisi
we"

"
MamaIgotyou.Ify
oufeell
ikeyoucan'
ttal
k
l
ookatme.Don'
tl
etthem ov
erpoweryouokay"

Shenodsasthetear
sst
ream i
nherface.Iwi
pe
them.Aknockdi
stur
bsus.I
tsNkany
ezi.

"
Lov
ecanIt
alkt
oyou"hesay
s

Lov
e?Okay
Igetupandgowi
thhim.Hel
eadsusout
side
andwechil
li
nabench.

"
Howar
eyou"hesay
s

"
I'
m hol
dingupNkany
ezi
"

"
I'
m sor
ryagai
n"hesay
s

"
You'
vebeensi
ngi
ngt
hatsongf
orev
er"

"Iknowbabyandforr
ealr
ightnowI'm goi
ngt
o
change.Fory
ouforus.Il
ovey oubaby"

Hecomescl
oserandcapt
uresmyl
i
pswi
thhi
s.
Hisbr
eat
h.Mmh.Mi
nt.Ican'
thel
pitIki
sshi
m
back.
Hest
ops.Ipout
.

"
I'
m scar
ed"hesay
s

"
Scar
ed?
"Iask

Hegetsupfr
om thechairandhashi
shandson
hi
sface.Wai
tishecryi
ng.

"
Nkany
ezi
what
swr
ong"Igetupandgot
ohi
m

"Babyl
ookatme"Isay.Hesl
owlyremoveshi
s
handsfr
om hi
seyes.Theyar
ered.Atear
comesoutofhisey
e.Iwipei
t.
"
Nkany
ezi
tal
ktome"heshakeshi
shead.

Akickhit
sme.Ooht
hesebabi
eswi
l
lbet
he
deathofme.

"Feel
thi
s"Isayt
akinghishandandput
ti
ngi
t
onmyt ummy.Heforcesasmile.

"
Nkany
ezi
pleaset
alkt
ome"

"
Let
'sgobacki
nsi
de"hesay
s

Agai
nhetakesmyhandandl
eadsmeinsi
de.
Hesi
tsdownandIgoandcal
lmam Si
zakhel
e.

Webot
hsi
tdownandsi
l
encef
il
lst
her
oom.
"Soarewejustgoi
ngtol
ookateachot
herand
nottal
k"Nkanyezi
say
s

Il
ookathi
m.

"Uhm soMam Si zakhel

ewant edtotal
ktoy'
al
l
butIjustthi
nkshedoesn'tknowhowt ostar
t.
SoIwoul dlovei
tify'al
lcoul
daskherquesti
ons
please"IsayandNkoseny esmilesatmeandI
winkathim.

"OkaySoy ouareNkanyeziandNkosenye'
s
mother"Msiziasks.Lut
handohi
tshim wit
hhi
s
shoulder
.

"
Uuhhmmm y
eyes"mam Si
zakhel
esay
s
"How"Nkanyeziasksgi
vi
nghert
hemost
deadl
iestst
are

"Soso.Yourf atherandIwer einar elati

onship.
Atthet i
meIdi dn'tknowt hathewasmar r
ied.
So.Ifellpregnantwi thy out oo.Wewer eso
happybot hofusanhewast heredur ingthe
wholepr egnancy .SoIev entuallygav ebirt
ht o
youtoofcour se.Soonedayhecomest omy
houseandi ntroduceshi swi fetome.Iwasso
hurt(snif
fing).Icoul dntbel ieveit.Ithought
yourfatherandIwoul dgetmar riedbut
unfortunatelyformehewasal r
eadymar ried.
(Sni
ffing).Hi swi f
edi dn'tl i
kemeIguessshe
couldseet hebondandt hel ovey ourfatherhad
forme.SowhenIwascomi ngbackf rom the
shopsIwasat tackedandhel dhost agefora
week.Beat enandst ar ved.Theywant edt ogive
youtoy ourf atherorel set heywoul dki l
lmeor
oneofy outwo.Icouldn'
tri
skyourli
feli
ket hat
.
Ilov
edy outoomuchandst i
ll
do.Iknewt hat
yourfat
herwouldraiseyouintotwoamazi ng
youngmenbutIj ustdidn'
tl
ikehiswifebutIhad
todowhatIhadt odo.I '
mreall
ysorry
"shesay
andthet ear
sstr
eam downherey es.Sheev en
hashiccups.

Si
l
encef
il
lst
her
oom agai
n.

"
Sot hatwi
feist
hatt
hewomant
hatr
aisedus"
Nkosenyeasks

Mam Si
zakhel
eshakesherhead

"
Idon'
tknowIt
hinkso"shesay
s
"Noit
snot.Itwasmymotherbutshediedi
na
caracci
dent.Thewomanthatrai
seduswas
MthunziandMsizi
'smot
her."Lut
handosays

Theex
pressi
onsi
nev
ery
one'
sfacesi
spr
icel
ess

"
Sowear
ehal
fbr
other
s"Mt
hunzi
asks

Luthandorai
seshismi
ddl
efi
ngercausi
ng
everyoneTolaugh.

"Wearenothalfbr
other
s.Wearebrot
hers.I
t
doesn'
tmatterwhoourmother
sare.What
matter
sisthatwehavetheMthet
hwa,the
NyamboseBl oodi
nourvei
ns"Lut
handosays

"
Sowhydi
dn'
tyoul
ookf
orus"Nkany
ezi
asks
"Itri
edbutIev entuall
ygav eup.Wher ewasI
goingt ostart.Thel asttimeIcheckedy ouliv
ed
i
nGubhukaandIdi dn'tev enknowwher eto
start.I.Sor
ryIdi dn'tt
r yharder.Butlucki
lyImet
thisy oungbeaut if
ul l
adywhohappenedt obe
theonecar ry
ingmygr andchildr
en.Ihopey ou
don'tmi ndNkany eziifIcallthem my
grandchi l
dren."Sizakhelesay s.

Nkany
ezishakeshisheadsmil
i
ng.Iknowi
ts
f
akebutatleastheist
ryi
ng.

"
Whynow"Nkoseny
easks

"I
'
vebeenpr ay
ingal
lmylifetofi
ndyou.I'
ma
seer(asangoma)andI'
vebeenconsulti
ngmY
ancestor
sbuttheyhav
en'tbeenshowingme
anyt
hingcl
ear.Theywer ejustshowingmet wo
babi
esandawomanwhoInowbel i
eveis
Qini
siweandherTwi ns.WhenImetheratt he
cl
ini
cwecl i
cked.Iknewt hatshewast heone
whowasgoi ngtohelpmef i
ndpeace"shesays

"
Sot
hisi
sn'
taboutmoney
"Nkany
ezi
asks

"
NoIhavemYown.I '
m notasr
ichasy
'al
lbut
I
'
m sur
viv
ing"shesay
s

"
Sowher
etof
rom her
e"Nkoseny
easks

"
Idon'
tknowi twi
ll
bealluptoy ou.I
fyouwant
meinyourli
feornot.I
'
mj usthappythatIf
ound
youI
'm gonnabeatpeace"shesay s
"Ar
eyoudy i
ngorsomethi
ngbecausewhenev
er
peopl
etalkofpeacet
heyareaboutt
odie"
Nkosenyeasks

Ismi
leandmam Sizakheleal
sosmi l
esl
ooki
ng
athi
m.Hert
ear
sf all
.Ibrushherback

"
Mycanceri
sback,Ihavet
hreet
ofour
mount
hstol
ive"shesay
s

Sil
enceagain.Everyonelostint
heirown
thought.Nkanyezi
isbr ushi
nghishead.
Nkoseny e'
seyesarer ed.Theot
hershavet
hei
r
j
awscl enched

"
Wowjustwhenwear
eaboutt
ohav
eanot
her
mot
her
"Msizisay
s
Ican'
thel
pitt
oo.Myt
earsf
all
.Il
ovethi
s
womanl i
kemyownmother
.Ican'
tbei
lv
eI'
m
goingt
oloseher
.

"Somet
hingcanbedoneImeant her
eis
chemother
apy.Thatcanhel
p.Moneyisnotan
i
ssue"Nkosenyesays

"
I'
vedoneitbef
ore,
Ijustdon'
twanttogo
t
hrought
hatwholeprocedureagai
n"shesay
s

"
No"Al
ley
esar
eonNkany
ezi

"Wehav ebeenwit
houtyouallt
hesey earsIf
eel
l
ikewedeser v
emor et
imewi t
hy ou.Pleasey
ou
havetodoChemoagai n.You'
llgetthebest
doctor
sabroad.Li
keNkosenyesay sMoneyis
noissue.Soyou'
ll
gethelp"Nkany ezisay
Il
ookathi
m.Smi
l
ing.Thi
sist
hemanIl
ove.

"
Ify
ousayso."mam Si
zakhel
esay
s

"SoIguesswehav
etocal
lyouMa"Nkoseny
e
says

Shel
aughs

"
Ify
ouwanttoIdon'
tmi
ndbutIwon'
tfor
ce
y
ou"shesay
ssmili
ng

I
'
m sohappy.Ilookatmama.Shei ssohappy
.
I
'
m happyforher.Iki
sshercheek.
"
Thanky
ou"shewhi
sper
sinmyear

Nkanyezii
slooki
ngatuswi
thasmi
l
eonhi
s
f
ace.Iwinkathim.

*
***
***
***
***
*NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
***
**

Mi
nenhl
eisatt
heNy
anga(
wit
chdoct
or)'
spl
ace.

"Amakhosi
amakhul
uNtombazaneukhal
a
ngani
(whatdoyouwant
)"TheNyangasays

"IIhav
eaproblem.ThereisamanIwantbuthe
doesn'
twantmehesay sheisi
nlovewith
someoneelse.Ir
eal
lylovehi
m.InfactIwant
him al
ltomysel
f.
"Minenhlesay
s
"Don'
twor
ryIhav
et hatallundercont
rol
you
knowhowmuchi tcosts."theNyangasays

Het
akesoutabot
tl
ewi
thar
edl
i
qui
d

"Youmustputt hi
siny ourbat hingwat erand
callhisnamewhi leyoubat h.* hegivesherar ed
powder *putt hi
si nwat erinaj ugandt akea
knif
eandst abt hewat ercall
ingt heot her
woman' sname.Andl astlyli
ghtt hi
scal li
ngthe
woman' sname*hegi vesherai mpepho
l
ooki ngthing*hewi llactadi fferentway
towar dsthatwomanandwhenheseesy ouhe
will
f all
inlove.Becar efulnott oov erdueit
becausei twillhavebadi mpactont heman. "
TheNy angasay s

"
Yebomakhosi(
yes)"Mi
nenhl
esaysandgi
ves
t
heNyangahi
smoneyandleav
esfeel
i
ngsuper
happy
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t40

*
***
***
***
***
NARRATED*
***
***
***
***

Minenhl ejustcamebackf rom work.Shewent

tothewi tchdoctory
est er
daybutshedi dn'thave
thet i
met odoherl i
tt
ler i
tual.Shegetsinsi
de
herbat hroom andfi
ll
st het ubwithwater.She
sprinkl
est heRedpowdershegotf rom the
witchdoct orandgetsinsidet het
ub.

"
Nkanyezi
.NkanyeziMthet
hwameandy ouar
e
meanttobetogether
.Come.Comebacktome.
Nkany
eziMthethwa"shekeepssay
ing.
Shetakesthepowderagainandspr
inkl
esiti
n
thewater
.Thisi
smor ethanwhatsheshould
use.

"Nkanyezi
cometome.Ilov
eyou.Wel
oveeach
other
"shekeepssay
ing.

Shefi
nishesbat
hingandget
soutwi
pingand
thenl
otions.

Shegetsdressed.Shetakesoutt
hei
mpepho
(i
ncense)andli
ghtsit
.

"Qi
nisi
weIwantyoutosti
nk.IwantNkanyezit
o
hat
ey ouanddespi
seyou.Hebelongstome
andheknowsthat.Qi
nisi
weheismi ne.
"She
says
Shef
ini
shesdoi
ngthatandtakesajugandfil
l
s
i
twit
hwater.Shest
artsst
abbingthewater
.

"
Qinisi
we.Qini
siwe.Thi
sist
oy ou.Youknow
whoy ouar
e.Youhav esomethi
ngt hatbelongs
t
ome.Qi ni
siwe"shekeepsonst abbingthe
water.

Aft
ert
hatshegoest
obedsat
isf
iedwi
th
her
sel
f…….

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

I
'm notokay
.That
'
stheonl
ythingIcansay.I
haveli
ghtcr
amps.Ihopei
tsnothi
ngseri
ous.
Igetupandgot otheshoweranddomy
busi
ness.Igetoutandwipemybody .Ilot
ion
andwearamaxi dress.Amaterni
tydresstobe
cl
ear.Il
ookatmy sel
finthemir
ror

Il
ookatmyselfandIseesomet
hingunusual
.
It
sli
kemyskinispeel
ing.
"
Ahhshi
t"Ist
artscr
atchi
ngmyf
ace.Ohi
tsso
i
tchy
.

"
Nkany
ezi
"Ishout

"Yi
ni"okaysot
hati
showt
hisni
ggat
alkst
ome
now.Yini?

"DoIlookdi
ff
erentt
oyou"Iaskwhi
l
e
scr
atchingmyface.
"Qi
nisi
weyouarefucki
ngpregnanty
ou
obvi
ouslyl
ookdi
ff
erent"hesays

Okaywhat
'supwi
tht
hisni
gga

"
Imeanmyf
ace"Isay

"Maybeify
outookabathyou'
ll
lookmor e
present
abl
eandsmell
al i
tt
lebi
tnicer
."Hesay
s

Ohkwhatt
hefucki
swr
ongwi
thhi
m.Sohe
meansIst
ink.

Il
eavehim andgodownstair
s.Nkany
ezii
sso
di
srespect
fulIj
ustbat
hed.Ifi
ndmaSizakhel
e
i
noneofherSangomamoodsbusygr unt
ing
l
i
keanani
mal
.

"
Dar
kness.Therei
sdar
knessQini
siwe.I
tneeds
t
obestopped"shei
sshout
ing.

"
Mama"Isay

Shelooksatmel ikeshei sseei

ngaghost .Her
eyeslookdiff
erent.Theyarebloodshotr ed.She
i
sbr eat
hingheavil
y .Shecomescl osert ome
andlooksatme.Shet ouchesmyf ace.Iti
sso
soit
chy .Iscr
atchmyf aceandthenal lofa
suddenmywhol eent i
rebodyisit
chy .

"
Mamawhat
'shappeni
ngwi
thme"Isay

"
Wher
eisNkany
ezi
"sheasks
"
Int
hebedr
oom"

"
Cal
lhi
m,somet
hingi
scomi
ngaf
tery
ou"

"
Mamawhatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osay
"Isay

"Justcal
lhi
m Qini
siweandst
opaski
ng
questi
ons"sheshouts.

Ir
unupst
air
stocal
lNkany
ezi
.

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

"
Nkany
ezi
"shesay
s
"
Nkanyezi
"shesaysagai
n.Ir
aisemyheadand
l
ookather.Whatt
hefuckdoesshewantnow.
Thatsmellagain.I
tsthatsmellIsmeltinthe
morning.I
tsthataft
ersexsmel lbutit
sdiffent
.
I
tsti
nks.Shecomescl osertome.Shesmel l
s
l
ikesex.Shesmel l
sreallybadandshel ooks
badIjustdon'
twanthernaggi ngselfnearme.

"
Nkany
ezi
arey
ouokay
"sheasks

Il
ookather.Shedisgust
sme.Sheisfucki
ng
pr
egnantbutheresheissleepi
ngar
oundwith
ot
hermen.

"
Areyoucheat
ingonme"Iaskswi
thast
rai
ght
f
ace

"
Nyez…"
Igr
abherbyt
het
hroat
.

"Li
stenher
e.Iaskedafucki
ngquest
ionnow
answerbit
chbeforeIdosomethi
ngI'
ll
regr
et"I
say

"
Nkanyezi
"hert
ear
sar
efal
l
ingbutIdon'
tcar
e.I
wanthert
ogo.

"
Iwanty
ououtofmyhouse"Ishout

"Whatdi
dIdo"sheasks.It
urnbackandsl
ap
her
.

Shescr
eams
"
Gonow"IsayandIst
andup.Idon'
tfeel
good.

Myheadi
sheav
y.

"Ahhfuckgod"Ihol
dmyhead.i
thur
tssobad.
I
tsalsoveryhot
.Mychestisal
sobur
ning.I
holdi
tgoingdown.Ifeel
weak.

"Nkanyezicometome.Nkanyeziwebelong
together
"I'
m hear
ingv
oices.Theykeep
screaminginmyear

Iseenot
hingbutdar
kness.Someonei
sshaki
ng
meIknowbutIcan'tseewhoiti
s.

"
Nkanyezii
tsmewhat '
swrong"that
'
sQini
siwe'
s
v
oice.Whatist
hisbi
tchst
il
ldoinghere
1,
2,
3theni
tsl
i
ght
soutf
orme.

.
.……

*
***
***
***
***
***
NARRATED*
***
***
***
***

"
Mamapl easehelp"Qi
nisi
weshout
scal l
i
ng
mam Si
zakhele.Lut
handoisal
sohere.Theyal
l
r
ushupstai
rstoNkanyezi.

"
Baf
owhat
'swr
ong"Lut
handoasksshaki
nghi
m.

Nkany
ezihasf
oam comi
ngoutofhi
smout
h.
Hi
seyeshavetur
nedwhi
te.
"Getaspoonandatowel.Yougetmeapi l
l
ow.
Closeal
lthecur
tai
ns"Mam Sizakhel
esay
sand
every
onedoesastheyaretol
d.

Nkoseny
ecomesbar
gingi
nther
oom

"What
'shappeni
ng"heasks.Nooneanswer
s
him.

Qi
nisi
wecomesbackwi thspoonandt owel.
Mam Sizakhel
etakesi
tandwrapsthet owel
ar
oundt hespoonandputsi
tinNkanyezi'
s
mouth.Thiswil
lhel
psothathewon'tbite
hi
mself.

"Isai
dcl
oseal
ltheCurt
ains.Taket
hisbedout
angetamatsohewi l
ll
ieont hemat.Nkosenye
getmybag.Qini
siwegetabowl wi
thwat erand
getanot
herspoon"Si
zakhel
esay
sand
ever
yonedoesastheyaretol
d

……….

Thebedhasbeentakenout.Cur
tai
nsallcl
osed
andNkanyezi
isl
yi
ngont hemat.Helooksso
l
ifel
ess.

"NkosenyeandLut
handogetout."theboy
sdo
ast heyar
etol
d.I
tsnowQinisi
we, Mam
Sizakhel
eandNkanyezi
intheroom.

"
Qini
si
wecl
oset
hedoor
"

Qini
siwecl
osest
hedoor
.Theroom i
ssodar
k.
Thedoorcl
osedandcur
tai
nscl
osed.
"
Qini
si
wet
akeof
fyourcl
othes"

Qini
siwetakesof
fherclothes.Herbodyi
sst
il
l
i
tchy.Shekeepsscr
atchinghersel
f.

"
Mamai
tssopai
nful
"

Sheevenhasahandpr
intonhercheekf
rom t
he
sl
apshegotfr
om Nkanyezi
.

Mam Si
zakhelest
art
sspr
inkl
i
ngsomel
i
qui
d
ar
oundtheroom

"Goawaydarkness.Goawayev
il
ness"
Sizakhel
eshout
ss.
Qini
siwestar
tsscreamingscr
atchi
nghersel
f.
Nkanyezii
sshaking.I
tsli
keheishavi
nga
sezui
re

Qinisiwei
scryi
ng.Scr
atchi
ngher
sel
fand
holdingNkany
ezi'
shand

"
Mamahel
phi
m"Qi
nisi
wesay
s

Mam Si
zakhel
etakest
hej
ugandst
art
sst
ir
ri
ng
wi
tht
hespoon

"Whoeversentt
hisev
elnesstot heseki
dsI
wantitt
ocomebackt oy ou.Isendfir
et oyou.I
sendpaintoyou"Mam Sizakheleshouts.

Thewat
erst
art
schangi
ngt
oar
edl
i
qui
d.
Nkanyezi
stopsshaki
ng.Qi
nisi
west
ops
scr
atchi
nghersel
f.

"
It
sov er
.Thestor
misover.Whoeverwasdoi
ng
t
hishasreapedwhatheorshesowed"

"
Mamawhatwashappeni
ngs"

"
Youbot
hwer
eget
ti
ngbewi
tched."

Qi
nisi
wecan'
tstopthet
earsf
rom f
all
i
ng.She
l
ooksatNkany
ezi.Hewasn'
thi
mselfwhenhe
sl
appedher
.

"
Nkany
ezi
"sheshakeshi
m
Hei
snotwaki
ngup.
Shecr
iesev
enmor
e

"
Mamahei
snotwaki
ngup"sheshout
s

"
RelaxQi
nisi
wehewil
levent
uall
ywakeup.
Whatwassentt
ohim wasoverused.
"

"
Mamawhyi
sn'
thewaki
ngup"

"Hewill
trustme.Somepeopl
etakeDays
,weekssomet i
mesmonthsbuthewil
lwakeup.
Trustme.Comey ouneedtor
est"

"
NomamaI
'
m notl
eav
inghi
m"shesay
s
Mam Si
zakhel
esi
ghs.

"
OkayI
'
llbr
ingy
'al
labl
anket
"

Qini
siwecomescl osertoNkany ezi
andsleeps
onhischest.Shecant el
lthatheisali
ve
becausehisheartissti
ll
beating.

Sheisli
steni
ngt
ohi
shear
tbeat
.Shef
inds
her
selfgi
ggli
ng.

"
Ifyougiveoutasl apli
ket hatIwonderhow
meany ourpunchisNkany ezi.If
eel verysor
ry
f
ory ourenemies"shesay sandki sseshim.His
l
ipsaredry.Hisskinisalsopeelingof f
.She
l
ooksathi m andtearsfall
f r
om herey es.
"Whenwi
l
lweev
erbehappyNkany
ezi
.?"She
says

Shetouchesherface.It
snott
hati
tchyanymor
e
butit
srough.Shewillneedal
otofoil
sto
recover
.

ShetakesNkanyezi
'shandandputsitonher
tummy .Theki
cks.Thebabi
eskick.Shesmil
es
andkisseshi
scheek.

………………

*
***
***
***
***
NARRATED*
***
***
***
**

ATMI
NENHLE'
HOUSE
Minenhl
est
art
sscr
eami
ngherwhol
ebodyi
son
f
ir
e.

"
Ahhhhohgod.Jesus"herbodyi
sbur
ning.
.Shescr
eams.

"
Isendf
ir
eandpai
ntoy
ou"Av
oicesay
s

Herclothescatchfi
re.Theyst arsburning.She
runsoutsidescreamingtakingof fherclot
hes.
Sheget sinthepoolbutthef i
reisstil
lonher .
Funnythingshei st
heonl yonewhoseest he
fi
re.Otherpeoplearejustlookingatamad
womanscr eamingsheisonf ire.
I
fonl
ythei
rknew.

Shet
akesof
fhercl
othes.Thef
ir
eisst
il
lther
e.
Sher
unsout
sidet
hegat
enaked.

"
BOO"Shegetshi
tbyacart
hatsendherfl
yi
ng
i
ntheai
r.Shel
andsont
hegroundli
fel
ess.

Herskinhastur
nedbl
ue.Shedoesn'
tlookli
ke
sheburnedbutshel
ooksli
keshesbeenhitby
l
ight
ing.

Mi
nenhl
eMsomi
youbr
oughtt
hisupony
our
sel
f.

…….
.

Ihopey
'al
lar
ehappy
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t41

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

i
tsbeenaweeknowandNkany ezihasn'twoken
up.I
'm evenstarti
ngtolosehope.May behei s
deadbutkemam Si zakheleassuresmet hathe
wil
lwakeup.Whent hough?I '
m hornyasa
motherfuckerandIcan'treall
yfuckasemi dead
man.I'
m sur eHispenisisalsosleeping.Ai o
Nkanyeziwithhishoes.Heshoul dhav ejust
kepthi
sdi ckinhispantshewoul dn'tbe
bewit
ched.

It
akeashowerandgetdr
essedi
nalongpur
ple
dr
ess.Mybabybumbissosocut
e.I
'
m cute.
*
tongueout
*

OkaysoMam Si zakhel
eisgoingt oCubai ntwo
weekst ime.May bewewillpostponebecause
shecan' tgoleav
ingherchil
dliket hi
s.Ifinishup
andgr ababucketandf i
ll
itwithcol dwat er.I
takeat owelandgot oNkanyezi .Heisstillin
thatpositi
onhewasi nthatday .Hei sfacingt he
ceil
ing.Heisnotmov i
ngorany thi
ngjustly i
ng
onthemat .

Iopenthecurt
ainandthenIopenthewindow.I
gotowardshim.Helooksbad.Reall
ybad.I
ts
l
ikehisski
nispeeli
ngoff.Jesuspl
easewake
him up.

Itakethetowel andputiti
nthebucketofwater
andt henItakeitoutandsqueezethewaterout
ofit.Ipathisf
acewi t
hthedampt owel.Thi
sis
j
usttocool hi
m upbecausehesomet i
mes
heatsup.Especiall
yhi
shead.I
'm doneinl
ike5
minutesandthenIgoandputt hebucketand
towelint
hebat hroom andt
henIcomeback
andsitnexttohim.

"Nkany ezi i
tsbeenaweeknowwhendot hi
nki s
ther i
ghtt imet owakeup.You' remi ssingouton
awhol el otofshi t.OkaybecauseIl ovey ouI '
m
goingt of il
lyouup.SoNkoseny egoti naf i
ght
withhisnewgi rl
fri
endwellhecheat edagain.So
thegirlbur nedhi sBMW i8imagi ne.Msi zi i
s
awaywi t
hhi sgir
lfri
endtoDubai .Mmmmhwhat
else.OhCar di BgotintoafightwithNi cki Minaj
somet hingaboutBabyKul tureandSer ena
Wi l
li
amsl ost.DrakeandMeekMi l
l squashed
theirbeef .Blahblah.SoIwentt ot hedoct orand
guesswhat ?I'
m hav i
ngboys.YeahIknowr i
ght.
Ithinktheyar egoingtolookjustlikey ouand
Nkoseny e.ButIdon' twantthem toactl ikey ou
andhav eanattit
udelikey our
s.I'
vebeen
thi
nkingofnames.WhataboutKhany aand
KHay a.OrMandlaandAsanda.OrDJandCj .
Ohmay beI
'm beingal i
tt
lebittoocar
riedaway
may beIshoul
dwai tf
ory outowakeup.Wi l
lyou
wakeupNkany ezi?
"

"OHmyGody ouTal
ktomuch"hesay
swi
thhi
s
eyesst
il
lcl
osed.

Iscr
eam andat
tackhi
m wi
thahug.

"
Ican'
tbr
eathQini
siwe"Il
aughasthetear
sfal
l
f
rom myeyes.Hi
sawake.Ican'
tbeli
eveit
.

"
Nkany
ezi"Isayhi
dingmyf
acewi
thmyhands
I
'
m sohappy
"Hol
yshi
tmyheadhur
ts"hesay
shol
dinghi
s
head.

"
I'
m sor
ry"Isay

"
For
?"Heasks

"
Thaty
ourheadhur
ts"Isayandhechuckl
es

Hei
shav
ingt
roubl
eget
ti
ngupsoIhel
phi
m up.

"
Getup."Isaypul
l
inghi
m up.Hef
inal
l
yget
sup.

"
I'
m st
arv
ing"hesay
s

Ihughi
m agai
nandt
henIl
ethi
m go
"Okaygoandt
akeabat
handI'
llgomakey
ou
somethi
ngtoeat
.Ir
unoutoft
heroom.

……

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Igetintheshower .YohIst i
nk.Thewat erfall
s
onmybodysof r
eely.Ifeelatpeacebutatt he
samet i
meI '
mr eallyweak.Whathappened.
OkayIdon'tremembermuchbutIdor emember
sl
appingQinisi
weandst rangli
ngher.Idon't
knowwhatgoti ntome.Inev eractl
ikethat.
Okaymay beI'mlyingI'm alit
tl
eaggressivebut
I'
m neveraggressi
v ewithQinisi
we.IguessI
havetoapologise.
Ifini
sht aki
ngashowerandt henIoptfora
blackNi keshortandaT-shi
rtwithf
lops.Im way
toot i
redtobedr essi
ngupli
keamodel .I
wonderwher emybedwent .Therei
sonl yamat
ont hef l
oorwhichIwokeupi n.I
tsl
ikemymi nd
i
st ryingistr
yingtoremembersomet hi
ngthat
didn'tevenhappen.

Thedooropensandshewal ksinwear i
nga
purpl
elongdress.I
thugsherperfect
lyshowi
ng
offherbabybumb.Ididn'
tnoti
cehowbeaut i
ful
shelookswhenIf i
rstwokeup.Shesmi l
esat
mecomi ngclosertome.

"Thefoodisr
eady
"shesaysandt
henat
tempt
s
togobutIhol
dherhand.

Ipul
lhercl
osert
omeandt henshebur
stsout
i
ntotear
s.Ihol
dhert
ight
er.Shej
ustcr
ies.She
f
inal
lycal
msdownandlooksatme.Iwi
peher
t
earsandkissherey
es.

"
IthoughtIhadl
osty
ouNkany
ezi
"shesay
s

"You'
l
lneverl
osemeeveni
fyouwantedto"I
sayandshenodsandIl
aughandshelooksat
me

"ThankgodI'
v ewokenupI '
vehadenoughof
yourCardibi
tchstori
es"Isayandthenshe
burstsouti
ntolaughterandIj
oinher.

"
Fir
stl
yit
sCar
diB"shesay
s

"What
ever
"Isayandt
akeherhandl
eadi
nghe
downst
air
s.
Thebestaromahi tsmynost r
il
s.Myst omach
groans.DamnI '
m hungry.Ist
il
lhav eahead
achebutitsnotthatbadanymor e.Mymo..My
mo…Idon' tknowifIshouldcallhermymot her
soI '
mjustgonnacallherbyhername.
Sizakhel
esmi l
esatme.Shei sagoodl ooki
ng
woman.Shei soldbutshehasgoodgenes.

"
You'
reawake?
"Shesay
s

Duh.Asy
oucansee.

"
YeboandI
'
m st
arv
ing"shegi
ggl
es

"Ithoughtasmuch"shesays.Shehasalr
eady
dishenupf ormesoIdigi
n.Mmhi t
ssoso
goooood.Ev enQi
nisi
wedoesn'tcookLi
kethi
s.
Mmmhthiswomani
sgoi
ngt
ohav
etocookf
or
mef
orever.

If
ini
sheat
ingandgi
vet
hem t
hedi
shes.

"OhIalsoforgotyouhavetodri
nkthi
stot
ake
thepoisenoutofy ouandcl
eanseyou"
Sizakhel
esay sgi
vingmeacupwi t
hsomeliqui
d.
Itakeitandgulpi
tdowni nonego

"
Hol
ysh.
."Isaymmht
hisshi
tisbad.

"
Hawdon'tbesuchababyit
snotthatbad"
Qi
nisi
wesays.MxmIfonl
ysheknew.

Igototheloungeansitdownonthecouch.I
wanttotal
ktoSizakhel
eabouthert
ri
p.
Igotoherandcal
lherandwegot
othel
ounge
toget
her
.

"
Siza…imean.Okay
.SoIwant
edt
oaskabout
t
het r
ip.
"Iask

"Uhmm Idon'
treal
l
yknow.It
supt oyou"she
sayslooki
ngdown.Ihat
ethefactt
hatsheis
scaredofme.

Il
if
therheadwi t
hmYi ndexfi
ngerandshe
l
ooksatme.Wel ookateachot her.Shehas
Nkosenye'seyes.Ifshehadagi rlthatki
dwould
behott.Iseesomet earsi
nherey es.Theyf
all
.
Nowshei shidingherf acewit
hherhands
sobbi
ng.Idon'tknowwhatt odonow.

"
Im.Sor
ry"shesay
swi
pinghert
ear
s
"I
tsokay.Uhhm wearesti
llonintwoweeks
ti
me.That '
swhenwe'l
lbeleavi
ngf orCuba.I
knowsomepr ett
ygooddoct or
st hatsi
deso
tr
ustmewhenIsayt hisyouwillgetthe
necessaryhel
pyouneed"Isayandshesmi l
es
andnods.

………….
.

Igoupst
air
sandIgeti
nsi
dether
oom.Ther
e
shei
slooki
ngather
sel
finthemi
rr
or.
Igotoherandhol
dherf r
om behi
nd.Wemake
suchagoodcouple.Wearebothdarkandwe
arebot
hgoodlooking.

"
Insorr
yforhi
tt
ingyouandfucki
ngupevery
t
ime.IknowIalway
ssayI'
m sorr
yever
ytimei
fuckupbutthi
sti
meImeani t
.NotthatIdon'
t
meani tsomet
imes."Isayandshenods
smili
ng.

"Yougi
veoutmeanslapNyezi
Irespecty
ou.
"
Shesaysandl
aughs.If
eel
reall
ybad.

Ihol
dhertummyandthent
hekicki
ngbegins.
Fi
rstoneki
ckf
oll
owedbymult
ipleki
cks.

"Doesn'
ti
thur
t"Iask

"Notreal
l
ybuti
tsdif
fer
ent.Thesetwobe
kicki
ngli
ket
heyareinasportsground.
Ismi
l
e

It
urnhert
ofaceme.Iki
sshergr
abbi
ngherass.
I
m gladherasskeepsongett
ingbi
ggerand
bi
gger.Ican'
twai
ttotapt
hisasssoon.

"Doyouwantt
odosomet hi
ng.Shoppingor
catchamovi
e"Isayandshesmiles.

"
Areyour
eadyt
otur
nbr
oke"sheasksandI
l
augh

"
Themal
li
tis"shesay
s

………

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

"Qi
nisi
wewehav ebeenhereforanhour
str
aightwhenar
ewel eav
ing"that
'
sNkanyezi
compl
aini
ng.

SoIdeci
dedt
ogetanewhai
rst
yle.Wel
lhet
old
metobutkenowhei
scomplai
ning.

"
HawI
'
m near
lydoneNkany
ezi
"

"OkayI
'l
lbeov
erther
eI'l
ll
eavey'
al
ll
adi
esto
gossi
p"hesaysandthegir
ldoi
ngmyhairandI
l
augh.

"
Yourmani
ssosohot
"shesay
s

Ev
ery
onel
aughsandIj
oint
hem t
oo.

"
Iknowr
ight
"Isayandagai
nweal
ll
augh.
30minutesl
aterI
'
m alldone.Il
ookatmysel
f
anddamnIlookgood.Idecidedtogeta
Peruv
ianweave30inches.Igotmynail
sdone.
Ipayandt
henIl
eav
e.

……….
.

"OhI
'
m sosor
ry"t
hat
'st
hemanwhoj
ust
bumpedi
ntome.

"
It
sokayi
mtheoneatf
aul
t"Isay

"Qi
nisi
we"t
hemansay
s.Okayhowdoeshe
knowmyname.

"
Soy
oudon'
trememberme.MrZondi
from
Zondi
manuf
act
uri
ng"

OhnowIr
emember
.

"
Ohy
esMrZondi
howar
eyouSi
r"Iask.

"I
'
m gr
eat
.Ihav
en'
tbeeninhospi
tal
eversi
nce"
hesay
sandwebothlaugh

"
I'
m gl
ad"

"
Ohsoy
ouar
epr
egnant
?"Heasks

"
Yes"

Henods.
"
Uhhm Iwant
edust
otal
k"hesay
s

Okur
raboutwhatni
gga

"
About
"

"Ihavesomet
hingIneedtot
ell
you,
wheny
ou
arereadyt
hough"hesays

"
Okaynowy
ouar
escar
ingme"

"
Don'
tbe.Whoi
sthef
ather
"heasks

JustasI'
m abouttoanswerNkany
ezi
comest
o
us.Heisfuming.
"Qi
nisi
welet
'sgo"hegr
absmyhandandaswe
areaboutt
ogoMrZondi gr
absmyar
mt oo.

"
Iheol
dmantrustmeyoudon'
twantt
omess
wit
hme"Nkanyezi
say
s.

Okaywhati
sgoi
ngon.

Thesetwoarenowi nastarri
ngcontest
.Both
giv
ingeachotherdeadlooksandI'
mi nthe
middleofev
erythi
ng.Okaycansomeonepl ease
tel
lmewhat'sgoingon.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t42
QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Iwi
ggl
emyarm of
fMrZondi
'
shol
d.Helooksat
meandIl
ookathi
mrai
singmyey
ebrows.

"
Ist
hisy
ourf
ather
sbaby
"heasksandInod.
Nkany
eziisjustl
ookingatMrZondi
wit
hthe
mostdeadli
eststar
e.

Boththei
rbreathingsareonanotherlevel
and
outofnowher eNkany ezihashi
shandsonMr
Zondi
'sneck.MrZondi '
sey esarepoppedout
phel
aNkany eziisyoungandst r
ongerthanhi
m.

"Nkanyezi
whatar eyoudoi
ng.Pleasestop"I
'
m
pleadi
nghim butIknowforsur
et hathewon't
stop.
Hestar
tspunchi
ngMrZondi i
nthest
omach.
Onepunchaft
ertheot
her.Fi
nall
yMrZondi
fi
ght
sbackandtheyarenowhav i
ngafi
stf
ight
.

"
MrZondi
pleasest
op"I
'
m pl
eadi
ngbutnoone
i
swi
ll
ingt
olist
entome.

Nkany ezigetsapunchi nthef acethatmakes

hislipt obleed.Het oucheshi smout handsees
thebl oodandt hatmakeshi m ext rapissed.He
clencheshi sjawsandcomest oMrZondi on
fullforcefuckanol dni ggaup.Idon' tknow
wher eheget sthepowerandt heener gytopick
MrZondi upandt hrowhi m acr osstheroom but
hej ustdid.Hegoest ohi m andst art
ski cki
ng
him.Hedr agshi m bythecl othesandst art
s
punchi nghi m.Im screami ngandpl eadinghi m
tost opbutkey ouallknowNkany ezi.
Lucki
l
ythesecur
it
ycomer ushingandthey
separ
atet
hem butNkany
ezi i
shavingnonofi
t.

"
Leav
emet hef
uckal
one"hei
sscr
eami
ngat
t
hesecur
it
y.

MrZondi
isj
ustl
yi
ngt
her
ecoughi
ng.Ir
unt
o
hi
m.

"BabaZondi
I'
m sosorryNkany
ezi
isal
i
ttl
e
crazysomet
imes"Isaytohi
m

Het
ouchesmyf
ace.

"I
tsokay
,goI
'
llbef
inebutwest
il
lneedt
otal
k"
hesays
"
Ist
her
eany
oneIcancal
l
"heshakeshi
shead

"
I'
ll
bef
ine"

"
Qini
si
wel
et'
sgo."Nkany
ezi
shout
s

"
Whatar eyoul ooki
ngat.Don'tyouhavet
hings
t
odo.Don' tfuckenlookatmef uckoff
"
Nkanyezishoutsatthepeoplewhower e
l
ookingatus.Theyal lgobacktowhatthey
weredoing.Talkaboutint
imidati
on.

Nkany
ezi
comest
ome.Het
akesmyhand.

"WenaMsunuI
'm notdonewit
hy ou"hesay
s
poi
nti
ngatMrZondiandhejustchuckl
es.
"Ohy outhi
nkI '
mjoking.AskyoursonhowI
operate"Nkanyezisaysandlaughs.MrZondi
clencheshisjaws.

Nkany
ezi
star
tswal
ki
ngwi
thmyhandi
nhi
s.
Wedi dn'tevengetachancet ospendtime
togetherthenthishappens.Idon'
tthi
nkwear e
evengonnahav esexhejustpissesmeof f
.I
thinkIneedadi l
do.Fordayslikethi
s.YepI'
m
goingtobuyi twhenIgot oCapet ownwith
ZinziandThobi.Yept hat
'saplan.

NkanyeziiscrazyItel
lyou.Didher eal
lyhav
et o
beatMrZondi l
i
kethat.Butithinkther
eismor e
tothestoryandsoonerorl aterI'
m goi
ngtofind
out.SpeakingofMrZondi .Idon'tknowhowt o
saythisorifitmakessense.ButIsensesome
spi
rit
ualconnectionbetweenus.YeahIknow
ri
ghtcrazy .SowhilstIwasinBot swanaIkept
havi
ngdr eamsabouthi m.Notabouthim no
don'
tbenast y.Butinthedream hekeepson
apol
ogisingt omeandI '
m cryi
ng.Hekeepson
pl
eadingt hatIgivehim achancet oexpl
ain.
YeahIknowr ightcrazy.

Wegettothecarandt
hist
imehedoesn'
teven
openthedoorf
orme.Wegetinandhecl
icks
hi
stongueandstar
tst
hecar.

"Ar
ey ougonnaex pl
aintomewhatjust
happened"Iask.Thi
st i
meI'
m notbacki
ng
down.

Hekeepsqui
et.

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
mfucki
ngt
alki
ngt
oyou"Ishout
Hel
ooksatme.

"
First
lydon'tcur
seme.Andsecondl
ydon'
trai
se
yourvoiceatme"hesaysinthemostchi
l
led
wayev er.

"NKANYEZII
M TI
REDOFTHISSHITOFYOURS.
ALWAYSLEAVINGMEI NTHECOLDANDNOT
TELLI
NGMETHI NGS.I
M SURETHEREI
SA
REASONTOYOURFI GHTWITHMRZONDI"I
shout
.

Heblockshisear
s.Okayni
gganowy
ou'
re
pushi
ngit.

"
Okaysoyoudon'twantt
ofuckent
alk.Takeme
t
oZinzi
'
splace.I
'
mt i
redofy
our
di
sl
oyal
,
cheat
ingl
yi
ngass."Isay

"You'
renotgoi
ngany
wher
ebutourhome"he
says

Ourhome?Okay
.

Ist
arthi
tti
nghim.Mindyouheisdri
vingbutI
don'
tgiv
eaf uck.Igi
veoutl
azypunchesbutat
l
eastheisgetti
ngthem.

"
Qini
si
wear
eyoucr
azyi
m dr
ivi
ng"hesay
s

Ikeeponhi
tt
inghi
m.

"
Yeslet
'sgeti
nanacci
dentsoy
oucandieand
I
'
llf
indaloyal
mantorai
semykidswi
th"Isay
.I
don'
tmeant
hatbutI
'
m pi
ssedr
ightnow.

Hest
opst
hecaront
hesi
deont
her
oad.

"
Arey
oucr
azy
"heasks

If
eell
ikecr
yingbutI
'
m not
.Ikeeponhi
tt
ing
hi
m andheholdsmyhand.Pai
nful
l
y.

"
STOP"heshout
s.Il
ookathi
m.

Helet'
sgoofmyhandsandstar
tsbangi
ngt
he
st
arri
ngwit
hhishead.Whati
sgoingon.

"
Nkany
…."
"SHUTUP.SHUTTHEFUCKUP.I SNTIT
ENOUGHHUH?I SNTITENOUGHTHATHE
KILLEDMYPARENTSANDNOW HEI SYOUR
FUCKENFATHER"Heshout sandthenrai
ses
hisheadwi
thhiseyespopped.Her eal
i
sesthat
hesaidwhathewasn'tsupossedtosay.

Icanfeel
thetear
sfor
minginmyeyes.What
doeshemeanhei smyfat
her.Whatdoeshe
meanheki l
l
edhispar
ent
s.MrZondi.*ey
es
popped*
Heoncet oldmeaboutAZondi kil
li
nghi
s
parent
s.Nat hi'
sfatherbutIdi
dn'tknowitwas
thi
sMrZondi .Waitheismyf at
her .Hei
s
Nathi'
sfather.

"
Baby"hesay
s.
Tear
sarestr
eami ngdownmyey es.Idon'
t
remembert
hel astt
imeIhadapanicattackbut
i
tseemsli
ket odayist
heday.Mychesthurts
andmybreathinghaschanged.

"Babypleasecalm downher ei
ssomewat er"he
i
st al
ki
ngbutIf eell
ikemyspi r
itisget
ti
ngoutof
mybodyagai n.Ihateital
lthetime.What
happenednextiswhatIdon' tr
ememberbutI
knowt heli
ghtsoutmoment ….

……….
.

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Thedoctorj
usttol
dmethatsheisawakeand
shedoesntwanttoseeme.If
eelli
keanass.
Wellmostoftheti
mesIam anass.Shewasn'
t
supposedtofindout.Especi
all
yli
ket
his.Idi
dn'
t
meant otel
lheritj
ustcameout .

Ever
yoneisher
e.Me, mybrother
sandmymo.
Mymot h.
AndSizakhel
e.Butsheisi
nsi
dewi
th
her.

IknowQini
siwei
smadatmebutIst i
l
lthi
nkshe
needst
oletmeexpl
ain.Ist
andup.

"Wheredoy
out
hinky
ouar
egoi
ng"Nkoseny
e
asks

"
Insi
de"Isay

"Whi
chpartofshedoesn'
twanttoseey
ou
don'
tyouunderst
and"Msi
zisay
s
"
Fucky
ouMsi
zi
"

"
Msi
zii
sri
ght
"That
'sMt
hunzi

"YeahNkany ezishedoesn'tneedthestr
ess.
Youhear dwhatt hedoctorsaid.Str
essi
snot
goodf orthebabies.Wedon'twantherblood
pressurehighorelsethatwillharmthebabi
es"
Luthandosay s

Luthandoal
waysl
ikest
oactasifhei
sapastor
orsomeshitli
ket
hatbutkehei
smakingsense
thi
stime.

"
Sodaddysity
ourti
ghtcuteassdown"That
s
Nkoseny
e.Weall
laugh.Thi
snigga
………….

It
sbeenaweekandQi nisiwei
sst i
l
l madatme.
Wellshedecidedt opissmeof fevenmor eby
mov i
ngi nwit
hherf ri
endThobi whojusthada
messybr eakupandI 'm sur et
heirtopic
everydayishowdi sl
oy alanduntrustworthymen
are.Aiwomen.Sheal sogotaj ob.Yepev en
thoughIhateit.Ican'tstopher.Wel lr
ightnow
I'
m drivi
ngtoThobi '
spl ace.Qi
nisi
wef inal
ly
agreedtotalktome.Ei shandmyhear tis
beati
ngoutofmychest .

…….

Iknockonthedoor
.Iknockagai
nandshe
opensthedoor
.Nosmi l
enothi
ng.
"
Comei
n"shesay
s.

Shel
ooksbad.Real
l
ybad.Shehaslostweight
andonceagai
nI'
mthecauseofherpain.

Igeti
nandsi
tdown.Shesi
tsdownt
oo.

"
Aremykidsokay
"Iask.I
tssoawkwar
dthat
'
s
t
heonl
ythingt
hatcomestomind.

"I
sthatwhyyouareher
e.Total
kaboutthe
babi
esortotel
lmewhat'sgoi
ngonbecausei t
seemsli
keI'
mt heonl
yonelef
tinthedark"she
saysasthet
earsstr
eam downhercheeks.

t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
onehar
dert
hanIt
hought
…
……….
.

EishI'
m goi
ngt obebusyforacoupledays
again.I
m notgoingtobeabletopost.Idon'
t
knowwhenI 'l
lpostbutyou'
l
lhearfr
om me.
Thanky '
al
lfor3kli
kes.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t43

"I
sthatwhyyouareher
e.Total
kaboutthe
babi
esortotel
lmewhat'sgoi
ngonbecausei t
seemsli
keI'
mt heonl
yonelef
tinthedark"she
saysasthet
earsstr
eam downhercheeks.

t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
ohar
dert
hanIt
hought
.Icl
ear
myt hr
oatandl
ookather.Ican'
tseem t
ofind
wordstoexpl
aint
oher.Ihurtherbynott
ell
ing
herIknowbuthowwasIsupposedt otel
lher.

HowwasIsupposedt otel
lhert
hatthemanI
hatesosomuch.Themanwhoki l
l
edmy
parentsisherfat
her
.HowdoIt el
lherthatthe
manwhoki l
ledourf
ir
stbabyisherbrother
.
Pleasetell
me.

"
Qini
si
we"Ipl
eade

"
Don'tQini
siweme, j
ustt
ell
methefuckent
rut
h
Nkanyezi
"shesaysandthenhol
dshertummy
l
ikesheisinpai
n..

"
Arey
ouokay
"Iaskst
andi
ngupandhol
dingher
.
"
I'
mfi
ne,
I'
mfi
ne"shepushesmeof
fher
.Okay
!.

"Doyouneedt ogotothedoct
or,
arethebabies
coming"Iaskandshelooksatmeli
keI'
m crazy
orsomeshi tl
i
kethat
.

"Don'
tcomehereandbringdrama.NoI '
m noti
n
l
abourbutt
hereisonlyonethingIwant,and
thati
sthet
rut
h."Shesaysandst andsupand
goessomewhereinthehouse.

Shecomesbackdri
nki
ngwat
erf
rom aj
ug.The
j
ugistr
anspar
ent
.

Shesi
tsdownandagai
nlooksatme.IguessI
havet
otel
lher
.Her
egoes.
"Okay , whenIf i
rstmety ouIl ovedy ouv ery
muchQi nisiweonl ygodknows.West arted
datingev ent houghIsawabi tofr esembl ance
betweeny ouandNat hi'ssisterIdi dn'tputmuch
thoughti nt oit.ThenonedayLut handocamet o
meandt ol dmet hathedi dsomedi ggi ngand
youar eXol ani'
sdaught er.Lor dknowsIwant ed
toki llhimf orthat .Thef actthathei sy our
father .Ihat edhi m ev enmor e.Fi rstl
yheki l
l
ed
mypar ent sandnowIf indoutt hathei sy our
father .ComeonQi nisiwey ouhav et o
under st andwher eI '
m comi ngf rom.SoIt hen
deci dedt onott ell you.Asmuchasy ouwon' t
believeme, Iwasdoi ngi tfory ou.Idi dn'twant
yout owi tnessmehat i
ngy ourf ather.Inow
knowt hatIwaswr ong"Isay

Sheisst
il
llooki
ngatme.Shewi peshert
ear
s
wit
hherT-shir
tsleev
eswhicharenowwetas
hel
l.I
sshesupossedt obecr
yingthi
smuch
whi
l
epr
egnant
?

"
I.
.I.Nkany
ezi
Iheary
oubut
"

Shei
sst
ruggl
i
ngt
ospeak.

"Ican'
tdothi
sanymore"shesay
s.What
?She
can'tdowhatany
more?

"
Qini
si
we"

"Nkany
eziIcan'
tdot
hisany
mor e.Ican'
tdous
anymore.Ican'
tbewi
thapersonIcan'ttr
ust
"
shesays

"
Qini
si
weplease,
I'
ll
…il
l.
.I
'
llt
ry.I
'
llbeabett
er
mantoyouandabetterfather
.Justpl
ease
don'
tgi
veuponus"Isay

"Gi
veuponus?Ohpleasedon'
tmakemelaugh.
Youaret
heonethatgaveuponusthedayyou
deci
dedt
oli
etome"shesay s.

Ist
andupt
hisgi
rli
spi
ssi
ngmeof
fnow.

"OHPLEASEDONTFUCKENTRYTHATWI TH
ME.IWASPROTECTINGYOU.PROTECTI
NGUS
BECAUSEIKNEW THISI
SHOW YOUWERE
GONNAACTI FIFUCKENTOLDYOU.
THAT
MANFUCKENRAPEDYOI RFUCKENMOTHER
ANDLEFT.NOW YOUAREFUCKENMADTHAT
IDI
DNTTELLYOUABOUTHI M.WHATHASHE
DONEFORYOU.HEH!ANSWERME"

Shest
andsupandcomest
omeandnextt
hing
Iknowtherei
sashar
ppainonmyleftcheek.
Sheslappedme.Mi
naNkanyezi
Mthethwa.

"Don'
tyouever.Imeanev err
aiseyourvoi
ceat
meNkany ezi
okayI'm notyourfr
iendoryour
l
itt
leboysyouorderaround."shesays.Waiti
s
shethreat
eni
ngme.

"Qi
nisi
wedon'tFUCKENl ayy ourhandsonme.I
don'
tgiveashithowmady ouar eokay.Iwill
notbeatyoubutIwil
lfucky outil
lyourespect
medontpl aywit
hmeI '
m alsonoty ourfri
end."I
say

"Fuckwho?List
enherbhuti
, meandy ouare
doneandImeani t.Theonl
yt hi
ngthatwil
l
connectusarethesebabi
esandt hat'
sit
.You
areaFUCKENl i
arandIneverwantt obewith
youagain"shesaysadthetearsstr
eam down
herey
es.Ai
thi
swomanhasgott
ear
sshame.

"
Qini
siweareyoureall
ydoingthi
s"Iask.Next
t
hingIknowther
ear ealsotear
srunni
ngdown
myeyes.
Idon'
tknowwhyandhowbuty
epI
'
m cr
ying.

Shecomescl
osert
ome

"Nkanyeziwearebothnotgoodf oreachot
her.
Everyti
mewear etogetheri
nsteadofmaking
eachotherhappywekeeponhur ti
ngeachother
.
Thisloveshi
tisj
ustnotforus."shesays.

Therei
snosucht
hingasl
ovenotbei
ngmeant
fory
ou.
"
Qini
si
wedon'
tdot
his.Ineedy
ou"Isay
.

Ir
eall
ydo.Il
oveandneedt
hiswomani
nmyl
i
fe.
Wit
houthermyli
fehasnol
ight

"NkanyeziIl
ovey
ou.Ir
eall
ydobutIj
ustcan'
t
bewithy oui
naromanti
cway.Pl
easejustl
et
mego"shesay s

Nev
er

"
No"

"
Nkany
ezi j
ustputyoursel
finmyshoes.Woul
d
y
ousti
llbeinthi
srelat
ionshi
p"

Idon'
tknow.
"We'r
enotbr eaki
ngupwejustgett
ingabreak
that
sit"Isaywipingmyt
ears.I
'm aman.Ican'
t
cry.

Shesi
ghs

"
What
ever
'sf
inewi
thy
ou."shesay
s

Iopenmyarmsforherandshehugsme.Thi
s
feel
sli
kehome.

"Pl
easelet
'snotbr
eakup"Isayandsheshakes
herhead.

Apartofmedoesn'
twanttoagreet
othi
s
madnessofher
sbutIguessIhavet
ogiv
eher
space.

Webr
eakt
hehugandIgo.
..

….

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

I
tsbeent woweekssi ncemeandQi ni
siwe
brokeupandIhav et osayt
hatourrel
ati
onshi
p
i
samazi ngasfriends.Il
oveherandIwill
foreverl
ov eherbutkeshewant sherspaceand
I
'm gonnadoev eryt
hinginmypowertowi nher
trustback.

Wheream Iyouask.Well
rightnowiminthe
pl
ane.Wheretoyouask.WelltoCuba.I
tsthe
day.ThedaySizakhel
egoesforherchemo.I
ts
scarybutshehastogo.Intheplaneit
sme
,NkosenyeandSizakhel
e.

Thepl anetakesof f.It

akeherhandand
connectitwithmi ne.I'
ml ooki
ngatourhands
andIf eelconnecti
on.If eell
ove.Ihavebeen
prett
yhar donherandInowseet hatIwas
wrong.Wel lbyhardImeanIf orcedhert odoa
paternit
ytestandi tcameout99. 9percent
posit
ivetosayIf eltbadi sanunder st
ament.
Thiswomani stryi
ngandt heleastIcandois
meetherhal fway.

"
You'
regonnabef
ine"Iwhi
speri
nherear

Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
eswi
tht
ear
scomi
ng
downherey
es.
"Arey
oucrying?PleasestopbecauseIdon't
wnattobedepr essedwhenIreleasesomeof
theNyambosemi l
kinCubanchicks.Busyfi
ll
ed
withyourt
ears.Sostopcryi
ng"Nkoseny esays
andMam Sizakhelelaughsthr
oughhert ear
s.

ByNyamboseMil
khemeanssper
ms.Thi
s
ni
ggaiscr
azyIt
ell
you.

Fastf
orwar
dwel
andandl
ett
hegamesbegi
n…

……….
.

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Mam Qi
nisi
wewentf
orherChemoandI
'
m her
e
toannouncet hatitwasaf uckensuccess.That
wasaboutaweekago.Yeppr ai
sethelor
d
i
ndeed.Soy esterdaywechi l
ledandwent
shoppinganddi dev er
ythi
ngwomendo.We
wastedNkany ezi'
smoneyandi twasallwort
hit.
SpeakingofNkany ezi,meandhi m ar
eamaz i
ng.
Wemakegr eatfri
ends.Butev eryt
imeum with
him If
eell
ikejumpi ngonhi m andri
dinghi
sdick
l
ikecrazy.

Im seri
ousI'
m notevenjoki
ng.Hej ustget s
hotterever
yday.AndIthi
nkheknowst hatI'
m
sexuall
yinneedandhesomet i
mest easesme.
Thatniggastouchmakesmewet .Whenhe
touchesmyt ummyandbr ushesit.Andt hen
smilesatmeandt henhesay s.

"
Aremybabi
esokay
"
Ij
ustl
osei
tev
eryt
ime.

I
'm 5mont hspr
egnantnow.I'
mf atashel
lIt
ell
you.Zinzi
gavebir
thtoabeauti
fulbabygi
rl
.We
namedherZuziweshortforZuzi
.Sheisthe
pret
ti
estbabygir
lontheplanet
.MmmhIcan' t
waittomeetmybundlesofjoy.

SorightnowI '
m cur
rent
lygoingt
oMrZondi
's
house.Afteramonthofhim beggi
ngmeto
meetupwi t
hmeIf i
nall
yagreedandI
'
mtaki
ng
Si
zakhelewi t
hme.

"
Arey
ouokay
"

"
YesmamaI
'
mfi
nej
ustal
i
ttl
ebi
tscar
edt
hat
'
s
i
t"Isay
Shenods.Wearr
iveatt
hisbi
gasshouse.I
ts
real
l
yniceandi
tscutet
oo.

Goal
sthat
'sal
lIcansay
.

Thegat
eopens.Guesst
heywereexpect
ingi
s.
Wegetoutoft
hecarandknockonthedoor,
it
opens.

Wegetinsi
deandyohsomanypeopl
einone
r
oom yoh.Ncncit
sboutt
ogetr
eal.

"Goodev eni
ng"Isayandtheyalll
ookatme.
Somewi thsmilesonthei
rfaces.Butone
personwhohast hewidestsmileist
hisni
gga
whoi ssupposedlymyfat
her.
Wesi
tdown

"
Cof
fee"awomanasks.AndIshakemyhead.

Weareallsi
tt
ingi
nsi
lence.Thesepeoplehav
e
somet
hingaboutt
hem.Therear eabout8men
and12womeni fI
'
m notmistaken.

MrZondi
clear
shi
sthr
oat

"WellyounowknowwhyIcall
edy
ouhere.The
reasonwastoint
roducet
oyoumydaughter
."
hesays

Daughter
?Amanchuckles.Al
ley
est
urnt
ohi
m.
Helooksli
keMrZondi
"
Daught
er?Howol
dar
eyoumydaught
er"

"
24"Isay

"24year
snowy ouacknowledget
hisyounglady
asyourdaught
er.Don'
tpissmeoffXolani
.24
wherewereyouwhensheneededy ou.Tel
lme
doyouhaveamot her,"

Ishakemyheadandt
hismanst
il
ll
ooksatme.
Iguesshewant
smet
ocont
inue

"
Mymot herdiedandmygrandmothert
oo.I
l
iv
edatachildren'
shomeunti
lIt
urned18andI
wentt
ostudy"Isay.
"Hasyourmotherev
ert
oldy
ouabouty
ourso
cal
ledfat
her
"hesays

"
Phi
l
awat
chy
ourmout
h"anol
dermansay
s

"
NoI
'
m notgonnawat
chmymout
h"

MrZondi
isr
eal
l
ypi
ssedr
ightnow

Uncl
ePhi
l
alooksatme.

"Mymot heroncetoldmethatI
'm apr
oductof
rape"Phi
laclencheshisj
awsandMrZondi
standsupandwal kstowardst
hedoor

"That
'st
heonl
ythingy
ouknowhowt odo.
Fucki
ngupandthenal
waysleav
ingwhent
he
truthhurt
s.Youar eadogXol ani,af ucken
rapistandanasshol e.Tellt
hem, tellthem how
youmol estedmeasachi l
d.I'
mt iredofl i
vi
nga
fakelif
eact i
nglikeyou'r
emybr otherwher eas
youhav ebeenf orci
ngy ourpenisonmyassand
mout heversinceI '
vebeen12y earsol d"Phi
la
say sandther oom goesqui etwithtear s
streamingdownPhi l
a'sface.

Somysocal
ledfat
herhasal
sobeenmolest
ing
hi
sownbr
other.Wow.Hereal
l
yisanani
mal.

Phi
l
ast
andsupandl
ooksatme

"Iwouldlovetohavearel
ationshipwithy ou
Qinisi
we,whetherIl
ikei
tornot ,you'
remyni ece
andI '
l
lloveyouli
kemyownki ds.It
sjustapity
thatyourownf at
herisafuckenani mal."Phi
la
saysandgi vesmehugwhi l
ewhi speri
ngi nmy
ear

"Wewil
lkeepi
ntouch"andInodwi
tht
ear
s
str
eami
ngdownmyey es.

Hel
eav
esl
i
vingt
her
oom wi
thsomucht
ensi
on.

Awomancomest otheli
vi
ngroom pushi
nga
wheelchai
r.Ilookatthemanonthewheelchai
r.
MotherTheresaisthatNathi
.

Iseethetear
sforminginhiseyes.Theyf
all
.He
cri
esandIdon'tevenfeelsorr
yforhim.Kar
ma
that
'swhatsgothi
m.

"
I'
m sor
ryQi
nisi
we"hesay
s
Bef
oreIcananswerNat
hiawoman'
sscr
eam
di
stur
bedme.

Shecomesr
unni
ngt
ous.

"Hehunghi
msel
f"Ev
ery
onef
oll
owsherwher
e
shecamefr
om.

Mam Si
zakhel
ewhi
sper
sinmyear

"
It
sov
er"

……….
.

It
sthedayoft hefuneralandtruthbetol
dI
real
l
ydon'tknowhowIf eel.Apartofmef eel
s
sadfort
hef actthathedidn'tevenexpl
ainto
mebutkeli
fegoeson.YesHehunghimsel
f.He
coul
dn'
tst
andupt ohi
sFUCKENmistakesso
hedeci
dedtotakehi
sli
fe.

Ifeel
badf
orhisot
herki
dsnotf
orme.Ionl
y
knewhimforl
i
ketwominut
es.

Wellonepersonwhohasbeent heref
ormei s
UnclePhil
a.Icallhi
m uncl
ebecausehei smy
fat
her'
sbrother.Hehasbeencal l
i
ngme
ever
ydayandj ustbei
ngthereforme.Hesay sI
shouldcal
lhim bababutuncleisokayfornow.

Wellheismarri
ed.Hiswi f
eisthenicestmost
l
ovinghumanonear th.Theyhavetwoki ds.
Theyarenotexactl
ykidsbutkeitthesameshi t
.
I
'l
ltel
lyoumoreaboutt hem l
ater
,I
'
m ataf uner
al.
Nkanyeziandhisbrot
hersarealsoherelooking
dapperasalways.I
nblack.CanIsaysomet hing.
Iwantmyni ggaback.Ir
eall
ydo.Imi sshim.
WellIdontreal
l
ymi sshi
m, Ijustmisshisdick
that
'si
t.
Keepi
nmi
ndI
'
m st
il
latt
hef
uner
al.

Thecoffi
ngoesdown.Nat hi
isweepingl i
kea
baby.Heisonthewheelchai
r.Withablanket
coveri
nghisl
egs.Rumoursay shehasn'tgoany
l
egsandnopeni stoo.Onewor dKARMA.

Il
ookatNkany eziandhisbrotherstheyall hav
e
smil
esont heirfaces.Igeti
ttheyhat edthis
ni
ggabutwhatt heyaredoingist ot
ally
di
srespectf
ul.Hi seyesmeetmi neandIr aisea
middlefi
ngerandhebl owsmeaki ssIsmi le
andhealsodoes.Lov epeople.Thisisalllove.
……….

Thecer
emonyendendandI'
m pl
anni
gtogo.
Well
Nkany
ezii
swaiti
ngformeoutsi
de.

Phi
l
awal
ksi
ntheki
tchen

"
Leav
ingal
ready
?"Heasks

"YesIhavetogoandr
est.Thesebabi
esar
en'
t
doinganyjust
icet
ome"Isay

"
Qini
si
wedon' tbeastrangerokay,
westil
lhav
e
t
odoacl eansi
ngceremonyf oryouandal
so
i
ntr
oducey outoourancestor
s."hesays

"
YeboI
'
llv
isi
tandIhav
en'
tfor
got
tenaboutt
he
cer
emony
"

Heopenshi
sar
msf
orme.

Igot
ohi
m

"Imayhav
ehatedyourfat
herbuty
ouar
emy
daught
ert
oo."hesays

Hecupsmyf
aceandl
ooksdeepi
ntomyey
es

"
Youl
ookj
ustl
i
kemymot
her
"Igi
ggl
e

"Anywaygotoyourman.Iwoul
dn'
twanthi
m
shooti
ngmeorbeatingmeup.Tel
lhi
m Ist
il
l
wantthelobol
aaswellasmoneyf
ordamages"
hesays
Il
aughandgo.Whataday
…

………….

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

"
Cany
oupl
easebequi
ck"

I
'vebeenwai
ti
ngforhert
of i
nishf
oraboutan
hournowandI'
mreall
ypissed

"
AwI
'
m done"wel
eav
e

Wellwearegoingt
othedoct
or.Shehasan
appoi
ntmentandI'
m comi
ngwithher
.
Wear
esti
l
lnotbackt
oget
herbutpr
ett
ysoon
wewi
ll
.

Ohy eahXol
ani
Zondikil
l
edhi
mself
.Hemade
myjobeasybecauseIwaspl
anni
ngtoki
l
lhi
m
butkehebeatmet oi
t.

"
It
spr
ett
yhot
,opent
hewi
ndow"shesay
s

Ai
for
evercompl
aini
ng

"
Canyoual
sopasst
hroughMacDonal
d,Ineed
t
hatbur
ger
"

Inod.Sheisonmater
nit
yleav
esoev er
ychance
shegetsshewast
esmymoney .Sheal
so
mov
edoutof
fThobi
'
shouse.Thankt
hel
ord.

Lifehasbeenprettyamazing.Mymotherhas
alsobeenamazi ng.Yesyouheardr
ight.Mot
her
.
Icallhert
hatnow.Wehav ebecomeprett
y
cl
ose.Iloveher.Ireal
lydo.

TherobotturnsredsoIstop.Qini
siweisinher
zonebusysingingasongasl oudasa
motherf
ucker.Shecan'tevensingbutbecauseI
l
oveherI'
lltoler
ateher
.

Ther
obott
urnsgreenandIdr
ivethenoutofno
wher
eabigtr
uckcomesourwayandhi tsus
maki
ngoutcart
of l
ipt
wicel
andingonit
stop.

"
Nkany
ezi
"shescr
eams
Wehol
dinghandst
ight
ly

"
Babydon'
tl
etgoofmyhand"

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m scar
ed"

"Don'
tbebabyI'
m her
e,I
'm her
efory
ou.I
'
m
nevergonnal
eaveyou"

"
Nkanyezi.Takemeoutofher
emybabi
es
Nkany
ezi"sheiscr
ying

Ican'
tev
enseeany
thi
ng

"Holdmyhandbaby"hergr
iponmyhandis
sli
ghtl
yget
ti
ngweak.Ohlordpl
easedontt
ake
herawayfr
om me
"
Babydontl
eav
eme"I
'
m nowcr
ying

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m scar
ed"shecr
ies

"
Dontl
etgoofmyhandbabyhol
dmet
ight
"

Justlikethatshelet'
sgoofmyhandandI '
m
getti
ngweaker .I
st hi
sit.Ist
hishowdeat hfeel
s
l
ike.Wel li
tspret
tyfuckedup.Mybabi es.That'
s
allIcanthinkoff
.Ican'tseeanythi
ngbutIknow
wehav ebeeninanacci dent
.Myv i
sionis
getti
ngblurry.

"
Qini
…"

Icanhearsi
rensandnextt
hingl
i
ght
sof
f…
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t44

Icanhearv oices.Ist
ruggletoopenmyey es.I
tr
yandt heyev entual
lyopen.Slowl
y.Myvisi
on
i
sbl ur
ry.Iclosemyey esagainandopenthem.
Myv i
sionget ti
ngclearer
.Iclearmythr
oatsoI
cangettheseasshol esattenti
on.

"
Nkany
ezi
"That
'smyt
win

I
'
mt ootir
ed.Idon'
tthi
nkIhav
etheener
gyt
o
t
alkoranythi
ngli
kethat
.

Iscantheroom.Averyoneisher
e.Lut
hando,
Msizi
,Nkosenye,
Mt hunziandourmother
.My
mi ndgoesbackt othatincident.Howt hecar
fl
ipped.Howt hattruckattackedus.I twasn'
tan
accidentthatIknow.I twassomet hing
i
nt ent
ional.Someonewant edtokillus.My
babies.Hol yshitIhopetheyar egood.Qi ni
siwe,
Idon'tknowwhatIwoul dbei fIlosther.

"
Wa…t."Ican'
tut
tert
hewor
ds.It
ouchmy
t
hroat
.

"Water"mySizakheleshoutsassheget
snet
he
glasswit
hwat er
.Sheal sogetsmeastr
awand
usesitsoIcandr i
nkusingit.

Ahhh.I
tsfeelssogood.Thewat
erhi
tsmy
thr
oatsonicely
.

"
Qini
si
we"t
hat
'swhatIsay
"
No.NoNkany
ezi
youhav
etor
estf
ir
st"That
'
s
Msi
zi

"
Fuckof
fMsi
ziIwantt
oseehernow"

Theroom goesqui
et.Mybodyhur
ts.May
behe
i
srightIneedt
orest.

Thedoct
orcomesi
n.

"
MrMt
het
hway
ou'
reawake…"

Inod.Hegoesontot el
lmewhatef fectsthe
acci
denthadonme.Wel li
tsnothingserious.
Somef r
actur
edboneshereandt herebutI'm
good.I
tsreal
lynot
hingser
ious.ButI'l
lbeusing
crutchesforsomet i
mebecausemylef
tlegis
bandagedandIhav etosayi
tsr
eal
l
ypainful
nothingIcan'thandl
e.

"SoMrMt het
hwaal
lyouhav
etodonowi
srest
please"

I
m notgonnar
estunt
ilIseeherbutInod.
I'
m hungr
ybutIdon'
tthi
nkIcanhandl
e
anythi
ngri
ghtnow.

"Hel
pmeuppl ease"Lut
handohel
psmeup.I
needtobef
reshsoIcanseeher.

Igeti
ntheshoweranddomybusi ness.Myl
eg
hurt
s.I
treal
lydoesbutI
'
m Nyanbose,I'
m
str
ong.If
ini
shandthengetdr
essed.
Igobackusingthecr
utches.Ev
eryonehas
thei
rheadsboweddown.Thereissomethi
ng
theyar
enottell
i
ngme.

"I
stheresomethi
ngyouarenottel
l
ingme"I
saylooki
ngatever
yone.Theyj
ustlookatme

Mam Si
zakhel
eisnoti
ntheroom.Shegets
i
nsi
depushingawheel
chai
r.Waiti
sthatf
orme.

"Si
tNkany
ezi
soy
oucanseeQi
nisi
we"she
says

"
NoIcanwal
k"

"
Sitpl
easeIdon'
thav
eti
met
obear
gui
ngwi
th
y
ou"shesaysasshewipesthet
ear
swhi
char
e
f
all
i
ngfreel
yonhercheeks

Ar
ghIgetonthewheelchai
randshepushesit
.
NowIfeel
li
keacri
ple.Thewholej
ourneyto
Qi
nisi
we'
swardisquiet
.EvenNkosenyei
squiet.

"Wewill
waitout
side"Si
zakhel
esay
sand
ever
yonenods.

Ipushmy sel
fandgetinside.Sheisaloneinthe
room.Wi thmachinesalloverher.Ican'
thelp
thetearsthatescapemyey es.Thi
sisallmy
faul
t.Thisshouldbeme..

Igetclosert
oherandt hefi
rstthi
ngInoti
ceis
herstomach.Thepr egnancybumpisnotthere
anymor e.Mytear
sfallf
reel
y.I'
m nowcloset
o
herbedandIholdherhand.Mybreathi
ng
changesasmysobsgetl ouder
.Ican'
thelpi
t.
Myheartisbreaki
ngsl
owlybutsurel
y.Ikeep
ki
ssingherhand.

Amaledoct
orget
sint
her
oom andIwi
pemy
t
ear
s.

"
Hi.Um doct
orMav
undl
a"weshakehands

"MayIaskabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
tht
he
pat
ient
"heasks

Il
ookathi
m

"
Um herf
iancewegoti
ntheacci
dentt
oget
her
"
Henods.

"Howisshedoct
or"Iask.Idon'
tknowwhybutI
do.AsmuchasIknowt hatwhatheisaboutto
tel
lmeisgoi
ngtohurtme, Ir
eall
yneedtoknow.

"Well
notgood, shesuffer
edi
nter
nal bl
eedingi
n
thebrai
nwhi chcausedswell
i
ngbutwe
managedt oreducethat.Weputherinacoma
andwer eal
lydon'tknowwhenshei sgoingto
wakeupori fsheisgoingtowake."hesay s
andagainthetearsfall
.

"
Mybabi
es"

"Unf
ort
unat
elywecoul
dn'
tsav
ethem I
'
m sor
ry"
hesays
Myhearthasjustbeenstabbedhundredti
mes.
Ican'
tbel
ieveI'
velostt
hebabies.I
venever
beenthi
ssadinmyent ir
elif
e.I'
m sososad.I
'
m
angry
.Alli
none.

Thedoctortr
iestocomfor
tmebutIbrushhi
m
offandhestartswal
ki
ngaway.Judgi
ngbyhi
s
walkIcantel
l t
hathei
sgay.

Icr
ymyhear
toutunt
ilIhav
ehi
ccups.

Anur
secomesi
nther
oom

"Si
rVi
sit
inghoursareov
er"shesaysIj
ustl
ook
ather
.Idon'
thavetimefort
hisbi
tch.I
fIwant
tol
eaveIwil
lleave.
"
SirIsai
dvi
sit
ingt
imei
sov
er.
"

"I
sthisyourfat
her '
shospitaloryourbr
oke
boyfr
iendshospital.Idoubtsoshutthef uckup
andtakeyourflatassoutofher e.Iwil
lleav e
herewhenIwantt o.Idon'thaveti
metol isten
toyournaggingsel fwithyourcheapmakeup
mxm"Isayt hatandt henGobackt oQinisiwe.

IkissherhandandthenIpushmysel
foutoft
he
room leav
ingthenur
sewithhermout
hwide
open.

Sizakhel
epushesmebacktomywardwher
eI
getinbedandcrymysel
ftosl
eep.

…….
……….
.
Wakingupt henextmorningIsti
l
lfeel
li
keshit
.
Puf
fyey essorethr
oatandagr owli
ngstomach.
Thi
st i
meI '
m goi
ngt oeatI'
mreall
yhungry.

Mam Si zakhel egetsinsi

detheroom fol
l
owed
byNkoseny e.If i
stbumpNkoseny eand
Sizakheleatt acksmewi thahug.Ihugherback
andIcan' thel pmyt ear
sbutIquickl
ywipethem.
Nkoseny eal sohasr edeyesIguesshehas
beencr yi
ngt oo.

Istruggl
egett
ingoutofbedandNkoseny e
helpsnetil
lIr
eacht hebat
hroom.Igeti
nand
takeawel l
deservedshower.Igetdr
essedand
thengobacktot hem.

If
indf
oodandIdi
gin.Mam Si
zakhel
ehas
t
ear
ryeyes.Il
ookatherf
orsomet i
meandshe
wi
peshertear
swhil
esnif
finghersnktaway
.

"
Pleasest
opcr
yingpl
ease"Isay
.

"
I'
ll
beback"shegoesoutsi
det
heroom wi
th
moret
earscomingout.Women.

"
Howar
eyou"hesay
s

"
Fuckedupman"

"YeahIknowIfeely
ou"Iknowwhathemeans.
PhelaNkoseny
eandIar et
winssowhenever
therei
ssomethingwrongwit
hme,hef
eelsit
too.
"What'
shappeningNkoseny e,i
tslikeim
bewit
chedbruh.Every
thingisjustf al
li
ngapar
t.I
real
l
ydon'tknowwhat '
shappeni ng.Ijust
l
ostbmykidsbruh.Threekids.Firstitwas
Angelsbaby…"Isayandhei ntur
upt sme

"
Don'
tfuckent
ell
meaboutt
hatbi
tch.She…"

Hestopshi
msel
fwhenher eal
iseshesai
d
somethi
nghewasn'
tsupposedtosay

"
Shewhat
?"

"
Not
hing,
pleaseeaty
ouneedt
heener
gy"

"
Nkoseny
edon'
tfuckwi
thmey
ezwanowt
ell
mewhatAngel
did"
Hekeepsqui
etandt
henIt
hrowt
hepi
eceof
meatathi
m.

Hel
ooksupatmewi
thhi
sjawscl
enched.

"
Shewast
heonedr
ivi
ngt
het
ruck"myey
espop

"
Whatt
ruck"

"
Thet
ruckt
hatknockedy
ouguy
sdown"

Icanf
eelt
heangerri
singagai
n.SoAngeli
sthe
onewhokil
ledmybabiesandnear
lyki
l
ledme
andQi
nisi
we.Forwhat?
"
Fuck,fuck,
fuckfuck"myangermakesmefal
l
f
rom t
hebedl andi
ngonmyal r
eadycr
ippl
edl
eg.

"
Hol
yshi
t"

Nkoseny
ehelpsmeup.Nowmyl
eghur
tsagai
n.
Fuck.Mmh.Holyshi
t.

"Nkanyeziyouneedtofuckencal
m downor
elseyou'
llhur
tyoursel
f"hesaysandhel
psme
getvonthebedagain.

Icl
osemyey
esasIt
akei
nthepai
n.

Iopenmyey
es

"
Wher
eisshe"
Hekeepsqui
ets

"WHERETHEFUCKISSHENKOSENYEDONT
PISSMEOFF"I
shoutatme

"Shediedont
hefuckensceneMsunudon'
t
shoutatme"hesays

"
Don'
tcal
lmeacuntsmunu"Isaybackathi
m

"Youar eadickNkany ezi

.You'
ret hereason
Angel didwhatshedid.Ifonl
yy ouhadn't
cheatedonQi nisi
wethatday,Angel wouldn't
havegot teni
ny ourl
ives.NowQi nisi
wei s
fi
ghti
ngf orherlif
e.Shelostherbabies
Nkany ezi.Ai
FUCKOFFMAN"HEsay sthatand
stor
msoutoft heroom.
Ican'thel
pit
.Ithr
owt hepl
ateoff
oodacr
oss
theroom anditcr
ashes….

…………….
.

AMONTHLATER

I
'mlit
eral
l
yrunni
ngtothefuckencar.WellI
'
mi n
Capetownri
ghtnowandIneedt orushbackto
JHBsoIcanGot othehospit
altoseeQini
siwe.
Shewokeup.

WellZi
nzicall
edmeabout4hour sagoandI
wassti
lli
nameet i
ngatthatt
imesoshesent
meanSMSt ell
ingmeshehaswokenup.Funny
thi
ngabouttheSMSi sthatshet
oldmetokeep
anopenmi nd.Iwonderwhat'
swrong.
……….
.

Ij
ustlandedandthankGodther
eisacar
al
readywaiti
ngforme.Igeti
nanditdr
ives.

Thewholeri
det ot
hehospit
alI'
m shaki
ng.Trut
h
betol
dI'
mf uckenscar
ed.YeahIam.Qinisi
we
hasbeeninafuckencomaforawhol emonth
l
ordknowsthesurpri
seswaiti
ngforme.

………

IgetatthehospitalandI '
ml i
ter
all
yrunningto
herward.Igetthereandanur seisfeedi
ngher
food.Sheissmi l
ingwi ththenurse.What ev
er
theyaretal
ki
ngaboutmustbef ascinati
ng
j
udgingbyherfaci alexpressi
on.
Shehasbruisesi
nherf
ace.Herheadi
s
bandagedandsoareherar
ms.

Igeti
nsi
det
her
oom.

"
Qini
si
we"shetur
nsherheadtomydi r
ect
ion.
Nosmil
enothi
ngjusta"
I'
mlost"expr
essi
on

Icomeclosertothem andt
henur
sesmi
l
esand
standsupleav
ingus.

"I
'
m sohappyy
ou'
reawake"Iat
tackherwi
tha
hug
Shefl
i
nchesinpainandtheni
thi
tsme.I
'
m
hur
ti
ngher.Il
ethergo.
"
Whoar
eyou?
"Sheasks

Okay
.Whatdoy
oumeanwhoam I.

"
Qini
si
wei
tsmeNkany
ezi
"

Shekeepsqui
et.

"
I'
m sor
rybutIdon'
tknowy
ou"

Nononono

"
Qini
si
wei
tsme"I
'
m pl
eadi
ngher

Sheshakesherheadandcal
l
sthenur
sewho
get
sintheroom.
"
Nursepleaset
ell
herit
sme"If
eel
li
kecr
ying
r
ightnowbutIwon't

"Mrpl
easego.Sheneedst
orest
.Youcancome
backt
omorrow"

Il
ookatQini
siwewhoavoidsey
econt
actwi
th
me.Doessher eal
l
ynotr
ememberme.

Igetoutoft
her
oom withmyhear
tbr
okeni
ntO
pi
eces.Ibumpi
ntoherdoct
oronmywayout

"
Docwhathappeni
ng,
shesay
sshedoesn'
t
r
ememberme."

"
It
snor
mal
.Whenaper
sonbumpst
hei
rhead
andsuffersomei nternalbleedi
ng,memor yloss
usuall
ytakesplace.Itmaybeshor tt
erm orlong
ter
m.Shemayr emembersomepar t
sofherl i
fe.
Sheremember sherFr i
edsandwhoshei s,
whereshewor kset c.May beastimegoeson
hermindwi l
lrememberhav i
ngyouinherlif
e
butfornowlet'sjusthopeandpr ay."

Inodandleavehim.Li
feneh.Wel
lri
ghtnowI
j
ustneedsomet hi
ngtogetmymindofthisshi
t.
Ican'
tbel
i
ev eshedoesn'
trememberme.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t45

Andi
kwazul
alandi
cingana
Nawe
Uzobuy
ani
ni
Ineedt
oheary
ourv
oice
Ubsukunemi
ni
Babywami
ndi
thandawena
Wedwa
Thi
niungaf
uni
ukt
handaMi
nangedwa
Ineedt
ofeel
closet
ome
CauseIcan'
tbr
eat
hwi
thouty
ou
St
handwaSam,
bambol
wam
Whyungenzaso
Theni
ungenzaso
Ngi
funukhl
alangi
ngowakho
Mmhst
hwandwasami
,Bambi
lwami
Whyungenzaso.ThenIungesaso
Ngi
funukhl
alangi
ngowakh

Buy
elakum buy
elakum
St
handwa
Nhl
i
ziy
oyam uf
unawenaah
Mmhnomaawndi
thandi
Ngi
zokut
handa
Kuzekuy
oval
wawenal
ovi
ewam mmh
Ti
meandt
imeagai
nngi
manandi
khubeka
Angi
mfuni
omuny
e
Ngaphandl
ekwakho
Kodwangy
ahl
uleka
Wenuy
abal
eka
Youdon'
tl
ovemel
i
keI
Lov
eyoubabybaby
Mi
nangi
funawena
Wenaf
unkmuny
e

……
Amandabl ack'ssongBuy akum get smei nmy
feel
ings.Seriousl
yIf eelli
kecry i
ngbutIwon' t
.
I'
vecriedenough.Ican' tbeli
ev eQi nisi
we
doesn'trememberme.Outofal lthepeopl eshe
couldforgetshef orgetsme.Wel litsnotme
only
.Shedoesn' tremembermyent irefamil
y.
That'swhatIhearf rom Zinzi.Iwasatherpl ace
ri
ghtnow, justtotalktoher .
.Wel lshesay sthat
Qini
siweonl yremember sher,thobi andNomhl e.
Imagine.Sher emember sthatbitchNomhl eand
notme.

Well
rightnowI'
m dri
vi
ngtomypl ace.I
'
mr eall
y
t
ir
ed.Thisdayisnotmydayshamei tsreal
ly
f
uvkedup.Igethomeandf orsomeoddr eason
t
hedoori snotl
ocked.

Ir
ememberIal
way
slockwhenI
'
mleav
ing.
Sizakhel
eisatNkosenye'
shousesowhythe
fuckismydoornotlocked.Ipul
loutmygun
from mybackandgetinsidesl
owly
.

"
IfIwer
eyouIwoul
dcomeoutbef
oreIbl
ow
y
ourbrai
nsout
".

"y
oudon'
tscar
emebi
tch"av
oicesay
s

Wel
lfi
rst
lyIknowt
hatv
oice

Hecomesdownthestai
rs.Ican'
thel
pthesmi
l
e
t
hatcur
vesf
rom myli
ps.

"Smunu"Idr
opmygunandr
usht
ohi
m andwe
doourbrohandshake.
Hest
art
sscr
eami
ng

"
Yeshei
sbackbi
tchesy
asss"Iscr
eam t
oo.

Hecari
esmeandst ar
tsr
unningdownt
he
St
air
swithandthenwefal
ldownandstar
t
l
aughi
ngasloudaswecan.

Ladi
esandgent lemenIpresenttoyoumyni gga.
Mybr otherf
rom anot
hermot her
.Si
y abonga
Mkhize.Wellhecall
shimselfSiy
abonga
Chri
stianMkhize.

Heget
sonhi
sfeetandhel
psmeup.

"
Whendi
dyouar
ri
ve"Iask
"
Lastnightbutyouwer
enotheresoIhel
ped
mysel
f.Thisismyhouset
ooright
"

"
Daki
we"hel
aughs

Heist opl
essandwear i
ngjustaboxer.This
ni
ggahasn' tchangedatal
l.Hegoestot he
fr
idgeant akesoutjui
ceanddri
nksfrom the
bottl
e.

"
Aisi
esmanwena"

Hest
ickshi
stongueout
.

"
Sowhat
'supNkoseny
e'st
win."

Wesi
tont
hecouch.Heopenst
heTVandt
urns
hi
sat
tent
iont
ome.

"
Aibaf
othi
ngsar
eget
ti
ngf
uckedup"

"
Asl
ongasi
tsnotwomanI
'
lll
i
sten.
"

Ilaugh.Wel lSi
yabongaisn'treal
lyapersonwho
i
si nt
or el
ationshi
ps.Wel lhehasbeeni na
relat
ionshipinthepastbuti tdi
dn'tworkoutas
thegirlbrokehisheart
.Blahbl ahblah.

"
Unf
ort
unat
elyi
tsawoman"

"Ai
aiai
you'
ll
tel
lmelat
erthen.Let'
sgobat
hso
wecangotothest
ri
pclub,y
ou'l
ltel
lmeover
someboot
y"
"Asl
ongaswewon'tbef
ucki
ngany
one,
I
'm
donewi
ththatl
i
fe"

Hel
ooksatmeandl
aughs

"
Youwon'tfuckany
onebutIwi
l
l.Goand
f
reshenupsowecango"

IdoasI'
mt ol
d.Igeti
ntheshowert
hendr y
mysel
f,l
oti
onandwearandgetdressed.Str
eet
wear.

If
indhi
m ont
hecouchDRInki
ngHeineken.Thi
s
ni
ggaiswayt
oocomfor
tableshame.

"
Let
'sgo"i
pathi
sback
Wet
aket
heBMW i
8andgot
othest
ri
pcl
ub.

…………

Wear ri
veandasusual
wear etakentot
heVI
P
sect
ion.Wellmeandmybr ot
hersalway
sgot
o
theVIP.Wherewegetthebestgir
ls.

Webuysomedr i
nksandthegir
lsst
artdoi
ng
thei
rthang.Si
yabongai
sreal
l
yenjoyi
ngthi
sI
cantell
.

"
NkanyeziI
'mtakingonet
hesemamashome
wi
thneI'm sor
ryshameyourl
oss"

"
NahI
'
m good"
Hel
ooksatmewi
thhi
sbr
owr
aised.

"
Okayt
ell
mewhat
'
sup"

Agirlcomest omeandst ar
tst
wer ki
ngher
bootyinmyf ace.Myeyesarefi
xedonit.
Itouch.
WellIcantouchr i
ght
?I'
m notwrongfor
touchi
ngri
ght .

It
ell
siyabongaevery
thi
ng.From thefi
rstdayI
metQinisi
we,tohersui
cideatt
empt ,t
oour
br
eakupt otheacci
dent.Basi
call
yItellhi
m
ev
erythi
ngandImakemy sel
fstrong.Idon'
tcr
y.

"Mmmh.Youhav ehaditroughNkanyezi
"that
'
s
thefi
rstt
hinghesaysaftertheminut
eswe
havespentlosti
nourthoughts.
"Tel
lmeabouti
t.Tomakei tworseshedoesn'
t
rememberme.Imeansher emember s
ever
ythi
ngel
sebutshedoesn'trememberne
andmyf ami
l
yinherli
fe.That'
sfuckedupfor
real
"

"
Whatdi
dthedoct
orssay
"

Thegir
lsar
est i
l
ltwer
kingandt
obehonestt
hey
aresor
tofpissi
ngmeof f

"Pl
easeexcuseusbutIneedyout
oni
ght
"
Siy
abongasaysandthegirl
hewaspoi
nti
ngat
nodssmil
ing.

"
Well
t hedoctorssayitmaybeshortter
m or
l
ongterm buttheydon'tknowf
orsure"
Henodsandagai
nwest
ayi
nsi
l
ence.

"
Doy
our
eal
l
ylov
eher
?"

"
LikeIl
ovemy
sel
f,"Isay

"Maybeshewill
remembery
oubr
uhtrustme
theset
hingshavet
hei
rownwayofworki
ngout
"
hesays.

Ij
ustgi
vehi
m af
aintsmi
l
e.

"
Let
'sgoI
'
mti
rednow"

Weleav
e.Hi
m, me,
andt hestr
ipper.Weget
homeandIgeti
nbed.Ididn'
treal
lyhaveagood
ni
ghtsl
eepl
iket
herestofthetimes.Si
yabonga
andThest
ri
pperwer
efucki
ngl
i
kecr
azypeopl
e.
Thenoi
seaishame.

……………

TwoWeeksLat
er

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Theguyhasbeenv i
siti
ngmealltheti
me.
Bringi
ngnenicestuffandall
thatshit
.Isor
tof
feelbad.Hebecomessosad.Ir eal
lydont
rememberhi m.Idon'tr
eal
lyremembermuch
j
usther eandther
e.

Wel
lIknowI'
m anaccount
ant
.IknowI'm
f
ri
endswit
hZinzi,
Thobi
,andNomhle.Speaki
ng
ofNomhl eshehasn' tvi
sit
edmeatal l
.Iwonder
whereshei sbecausesheshoul dbeher e.But
nope.IaskedZinzi oncebutshej ustsaidI
shouldfocusonget ti
ngbet t
erandf orget
peoplewhodon' tbothertovisi
tme.Idon' t
knowwhat 'supbutI '
llj
ustwaitforNomhl eto
comet omesel f.Iknowwear enotthebestof
fr
iendsbutIreall
ycar eabouther.

"Areyour eadytogo"t heguysays.Wel

lhet old
mehi snamei sNkany ezi
soI'l
lj
ustcal
lhi
mt hat
.
Hei sscary.Idon'tknowifit
sonlyme.IfIknew
him personall
yIwoul dsayhehassomei ssues.
Hedoesn' tsmi l
eorlaugh.Heisjustaperson.
Hotbutnotmyt ype.

Hisbrot
her svi
sit
edmet oo.Theyal
ll
ookal
ike.
Andtheyv eryt
allt
oo.AwomanwhoInow
knowast heirmotheral
sovisi
tedmeall
the
ti
me.Shei sacut
ewoman.Anot hermanvisi
ted
mewithhiswifehesaysheismyuncle.When
di
dIstarthavi
nganunclebecauseIdon'
teven
haveafather
.Aipeopl
ejustl
oveplayi
ngwith
mymindshame.

"YesI'
mr eady"hetakesmythi
ngs.WellI
'
m
gett
ingdischargedtoday
.Af
terspendi
ngqui
te
somet i
meher eatthehospi
tal
.

Theguyinsist
edhewill
fetchmeandIshoul d
l
eavewithhim andhi
smot herunt
ilI
'mf i
ne.I
tol
dhim nobuthegavemet helookthatsent
shi
versdownmyspi neandIeventual
lyagreed.
HismothersaysIcan'
tstaywit
hThobi orZinzi
becausetheyareal
soverybusytobet aki
ng
careofme.

Hepushest
hewheel
chai
r.Wel
lI'
mina
wheelchair
.Icanwalkusingcrut
chesthough.
I'
minpai nbutI'
m sl
owlygett
ingbett
er.I
tsnot
asbadasi twasi nt
hepast.Isti
l
lhave
headachesher eandther
ebutkedoctorsgive
memedi cation.

Wegett ohi
scar.I
tsaBMW X6.Cut
ecar.He
helpsgeti
nsi
deandthenIputt
hebel
tanwe
aregoodtogo.

Theri
deisver
yawkwar
dwi
thhi
m st
eal
i
ng
gl
ancesatme.….
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t46

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE
I'
ml ooki
ngoutsidet
hewindowandIknowf or
sureheissteal
inggl
ancesatme.WellInev
er
askedhim howheknowsme.

"Uhm Bhut
i,Inev
erhadachancet
oask,
How
doyouknowme"Isay

Hi
sey esarenowfi
xedontheroad.Heis
cl
enchinghisj
awsl
ikenobody
'sbusi
ness.

Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat

"Idon'
tknowifIshoul
dsaywearedat
ingorwe
weredati
ng"hesaysandmyeyespop

Hei
smyboy
fri
end.Hewasmyboy
fri
end.Okay
nowt
hisi
shel
l
awei
rd.

"
How?When?
"Isay

"
Lasty
ear
"hesay
s

Okaynowt
hisi
shel
l
acr
azy

"
Doy
ouhav
eanypr
oof
"Isay

"
Whatdoy
oumeanpr
oof
"

"Imeanyoujustt
ellmewewer edati
ng,Ineed
someproof.Whatifyouareaseri
alki
ll
eror
worseyouint
ohumant raf
ficki
ngorsomeshit
l
i
ket
hat
"

Hef
akesl
aughs

"
You'
rebei
ngpar
anoi
d"

"
Okay
,di
dIkeepaj
our
nal
"Isay

"
NotthatIknowof f,
butIhav
epi
ctur
esand
v
ideosofUst oget
her"

"
CanIseet
hem"Isay

"WhenwegethomeQini
siwepl
easeI
'
m dr
ivi
ng"
hesaysi
nasnappyt
one
Ishutupandl
ookout
sidet
hewi
ndow.

………….
.

Wearri
veatthemostamazi ngImeanthemost
beaut
if
ulhouseI'
veeverseeninmyentir
eli
fe.
Thehateopensandwedr i
vein.Hegetsoutand
runst
omysi deandopenst hedoorf
orme.

Hetakesoutt
hebagsfrom t
hebootandwe
makeourwaytothehouse.Heopensthedoor
andwegetinwit
hhishandonmyback.Cosyif
Imaysay.
I
m stil
ltr
yingt
ohandlewal
kingoncrutches.He
wantedtoputmeont hewheelchai
rbutI
r
efused.I'
m notacr
ippl
e

Wegeti
nsi
deandf
indhi
sbr
other
sher
e.Ther
e
i
sal
soaguyhecamewi
thonce.

Theyal
lstandupandcomet omeandgiveme
hugs,
tal
kingloud.Myheadachecomes.The
womancomesdownt hestair
sandscreams.I
hi
debehindNkany ezi
.NotbecauseI'
m scar
ed
butij
usthidebehindhim nje.

"OhI'm sor
rydear
,"Sheshi
ft
sNkanyezi
and
att
acksmewi t
hahug.I'
m nothuggi
ngherback.
Crutcheshell
o.
Thankt helor
dshebreakst
hehugshewas
reall
ystart
ingtohur
tme.shekissesmy
forehead.Weird.

"
Icookeddeargoandf
reshenup"shesay
s

"
Idon'
tmeant
ober
udebutIwoul
dli
ket
osl
eep.
I
'
m pr
ett
yti
red"

Shegi
vesmeasmi
l
e.

"
Okaynopr
obl
em"

Nkanyezi
picksmeup.Withthecr
utchesst
il
lIn
myhands.Iholdt
hem t
ightl
yaswegoupt he
st
air
s

"
Who'
sroom i
sthi
s"Iask

"
Our
s"

Idon'
tknowhowtorepl
ytot
hat.Ij
ustkeep
qui
etbutIwantt
osaysomet
hing.
"
Youar
enotgoi
ngt
osl
eepher
ear
eyou?
"Iask

Helooksatmewi
thaf
rownonhi
sface.He
si
ghs.

"
Iwi
l
lsl
eepi
ntheguestbedr
oom"

Inod.

Ispotahugepict
ureont
hewal
l
.It
scapt
ivat
ing.
Igoclosert
oit
.

"
Whoi
sthi
s"Iaskt
ouchi
ngt
hepi
ctur
e.

Hecomescl
osert
oo.
"
It
syou.It
ooki
twheny
ouwer
easl
eep"hesay
s
Igi
vehim af
aintsmi
l
e.Myheadachei
sget
ti
ng
sev
ere.It
ouchmyhead.

"
Whatwr
ong"heasksI
napani
cki
ngt
one.

"
Justal
i
ttl
eheadachenot
hingser
ious"Isay

Hepi
cksmeup.Real
l
y?Heput
smeont
hebed.

"
RestI
'
llwakeyouupl
ater
"hesay
sandt
hen
wal
ksoutofther
oom.

Isi
gh.Whatam If
orget
ti
ng.I
tfeel
sli
kethereis
somethi
ngIshoul
drememberbutIdon'
tknow
whatiti
s.Icl
osemyeyesanddrif
tof
ftosleep.
………….
.

Iopenmyey esandl etoutascr

eam.Icalm
downwhenIr eal
iseitshim.Heisholdi
nga
gl
ass.It
hinkit
swhi skeyorsomeshi tl
i
kethat
.
Whyishejustsit
tingtherel
ikeacrazyper
son

"
Youscar
edme"Isay

Hecont
inuesl
ooki
ngatme

"
I'
m sor
ry"

Igetof
fbedandl
ookathi
m
"
Uhm wher
eist
hebat
hroom"hepoi
ntsatt
he
t
hedoori
nther
oom

Inodandmakemywaytowar
dsi
t.Iopenand
geti
n.Iwashmyf
ace.

Looki
ngatmy sel
finthemirr
orisl
ikelooki
ngat
someoneIdon'tknow.I'
vebeenli
vingali
fe
whichIsomewhatdon'tremember.Istar
t
hi
tti
ngmyheadunt il
Ifeelt
hetear
sf al
li
ngfrom
myey es.

"
Whycan'
tyouf
uckenr
emember
"

Ther
eisaknockont
hedoor

"
Qini
si
wear
eyouokay
.Whyi
sitl
ocked"Iwi
pe
myt
ear
s

"
Uhmm I
'
m okayI
'
m comi
ng"

Idri
nksomewaterandt
hengotowar
dst
he
door.Unl
ocki
ngi
tandIopen.

Heisl
ooki
ngatmewi t
hhi
sredeyes.Ni
cot
ine
hi
tsmynostr
il
s.Sohesmokes.

"
Hav
eyoubeencr
ying"Heasks

Ishakemyhead.

"
Somet
imeswhenIhav
eheadachesIcr
y"Isay
"
Don'
tl
ie.Wheny ouhaveHeadachesy
oudr
ink
t
eaandsleep"hesays

"Youknowmet
hatmuchhey
?"Isayandhe
nods

Wemakeourwayoutoft
her
oom.I
tsal
ready
dar
k.
Wegetdownst
air
sandheopenst
heTV.

"
CanIgety
ouany
thi
ng"heasks

"
I'
m st
arv
ing"Isay

"Mamaal
readydi
shedupf
ory
ou.I
'
llheati
tup"
hesay
s
Hegoestot
heki
tchenandcomesbackaf
ter
someti
mewithf
ood.Hegivesi
ttomeandIdig
i
n.

Hei
slooki
ngatme.That
'spr
ett
yrude.

"Youusual
l
ypr
aybef
oreeat
ing"hesay
smy
eyespop.

"
Real
l
y?"Henods

Icar
ryoneat
ingI
'
llpr
ayanot
hert
ime.

"
It
sreal
l
yni
ce"Isayaf
terIf
ini
sheat
ing

"
YeahIknowi
tsy
ourf
avor
it
emeal
"
Hetakesmydi
shes.Icar
ryi
nwat
chi
ngTV.I
ts
sor
tofbori
ngt
oo.

Hecomesbackandgi
vesmehi
sphone.

"Her e'
ssomepr oof
"it
spictur
eofuski ssi
ng.I
swipeandt henther
eisav i
deo.Ipl
ayit.It
sus
rappingtoJColesloveyourzandhekeeps
l
ickingmewi thhimtongueandI'm complaini
ng
thathewill
messupmymakeup.

Iswipeagai
nandi tsapict
ureofmeholdi
ngmy
stomach.Ababybump.Wai twasIpr
egnantor
someshitli
kethat.Il
ookathim.Hehastears
i
nhiseyesandt heyfal
l.

"
Iwaspr
egnant
"Iask.
Hel
ooksdown.Idon'
tknowhowIf
eel
.

"
Whathappened"hekeepsqui
etagai
n.

Ipunchhi
sar
ms

"
I'
mtal
ki
ng"Ishout
.

Her
aiseshi
shead.

"
Theydi
ed"hesay
sandt
henget
supandl
eav
es.

Idon'
tknowwhybyIfeelmyt earsfal
l
ing.Thi
s
ti
meIdon'twipet
hem Ij
ustletthem f
allf
reel
y
onmyf ace.SoIwaspregnant.Wow.Some
andthisguywer epret t
yseriousifIwasgonna
haveababywi thhim.Ican' tbeli
eveIlostmy
pregnancy.Ir
eall
ydon' tknowhowIf eelt
obe
honest.Fir
stl
yIdon'tev enrememberbei ng
pregnant.SoIdon'trememberhowat t
achedI
wast othepregnancy .Lif
eneh…

….
……….

TWOWEEKSLATER

Nkanyezi
hasbeengrumpytheent
ir
etwo
weeks.Ir
eal
lydon'
tknowwhattodo.If
eel
li
ke
movingoutwil
lbet
hebestopti
on.

AnywayI'm get
ti
ngbetter
.Well
I'
m offt
he
crut
ches.Iexperi
encesomepainhereandt
her
e
butheyIcanwal kli
keanormalper
sonagai
n.
Wellnotnor
malnor
mal
butmor
eli
ke50
per
centnormal
.

BacktoNkanyezi,
hehasbeendr i
nkingli
ke
nobody'
sbusi
ness.Nottoment i
ont hesmoki
ng.
Heisafuckenchimney.Healsoavoi dsmeI
thi
nk.Nott
hatIcarebutI'
m hi
sv i
sitorhe
shoul
dhehereforme.I'm gl
adhismom has
beenwithmeev er
ystepoftheway .Iact
ual
ly
l
ikeher.

OkayNkany ezi.Hegoest oworkandcomes

backl atewhenI '
m alr
eadyasleep.WhenIwake
upInt hemor ningheisalreadyonhi swayout.I
real
lyf eelbad.Ifeel
li
keI'minvadinghisspace.
Heal sodoesn' twanttotalkaboutthe
pregnancy .Hedoesn'twantt otal
katall.
Anyway .
I
'minthebathroom ,justfi
nishedshoweri
ng.
I
'm weari
ngapant yandabr a.I'
m sureNkany
ezi
hasalr
eadylef
t.I'
ml ookingatmy sel
fint
he
mir
rorlot
ioni
ng.

"
Hel
l
o"hesay
s

"Hi"hol
yshitum naked.Iscr
eam andgr abthe
towelhi
dingmy sel
f.Il
ookathim heisfucken
naked.Lordtakemenow.Iscr eam agai
n.He
hideshi
speni s.

"
Whyar
eyounaked"

"I
nsorr
yit
snotl
i
kesomet
hingy
ou'
venev
er
seenbef
ore"
"
Whydi
dn'
tyouknock"Ishout

"Hah"hegarbsatowel
andwal
ksout
.Whywas
heinhereagain.

……….

I'
m al
readydr
essedi
naj
ean,
asweat
erand
sneakers.

Igodownstai
rsandlikeIsaidhei
sal
ready
dressedupandreadyfortheday.

"
I'
m out
"hesay
s

Hest
opswal
ki
ngandt hencomescl
osert
ome.
Heki
ssesmyfor
eheadandthenwal
ksout.
I
'
m goi
ngout
.I'
m wal
ki
ng.

…………….

If
indmysel
fatt
hei
cecr
eam pl
ace.I
tscal
l
ed
Ni
ceTingz.

"
Hi"Isayatt
heol
dladyandshegr
eet
smeback.

"
CanIpl
easehav
euhmm t
his"Ipoi
ntatt
he
f
lav
our

"
Don'
tyouwantt
heusual
?"Shesay
s

"
OhIhav
etheusual
.Pl
easecanIpl
easeehav
e
t
heusual
"Isay

Ipayandt
akemyicecr
eam.I'm nowoutsi
de.
Okaynowwheret
ofrom her
e.Idon'
tremember
howIgother
e.Ei
sh.

It
akeoutthephoneNkany
eziboughtforme.
Ei
shthebatt
eryi
sdead.Holymother
fucker
.
Wheretof
rom here.

"
Qini
si
we"

"
Qini
siwe"okayi
sitonl
ymeori
ssomeone
r
eall
ycall
ingmyname

If
eel
ataponmyback.It
urnbackandafi
ne
manisl
ooki
ngatme.Mmhhiseyes.Hi
ssmell
s
ni
ce.Dr
essedni
cel
y.Jesus.

"
I'
m sor
rydoIknowy
ou"Iask

Hesmi
l
es

"
Hawi
tsmeSf
undo.Sf
undoSi
biy
a"hesay
s

BoyIdon'
tknownoSf
undoSi
biy
a

"
I'
m sorr
yIthinkyoumist
aki
ngmewi t
hthe
wrongperson"Icar
ryonwal
kingandhest
ops
meagain

"
Qinisi
weNkosi
.Don'tt
ellmeyoudon'
t
rememberme.SfundoSibi
yawewentto
Univ
ersi
tyt
oget
herwewer efr
iendsme,y
ouand
Zi
nzi
"hesay
s

Sf
undo.TheHAN.

"
Sfundot
heHAN"Isay

"
Yes"

TheHANisHotassni
gga.Hewashoti
n
Var
sit
y.Ev
ennowthough

Heat
tacksmewit
hahugandihughi
m back.
Hesmell
ssosogood.MmmhJesus.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t47
Nkany
ezi
'
sper
spect
ive

Wherethefuckcouldshebe.Qi
nisiweisreall
y
f
uckingtesti
ngme.I'
m sit
ti
ngont hefl
oor.I'
m
t
oplessandonlywearingmysui
tpant s.And
yohI'
m alsobar
efoot.
Ideci
dedtocomehomeearl
ybecauseIwanted
Qini
siweandIt
odosomethi
ngfunyouknow
takeherdownmemor
ylaneanddoallt
he
thi
ngsweusedtodowhenwewer edat
ing.

Gothomeandf oundthesurpr
iseofmyli
feshe
wasn'
there.I
'
vebeencalli
ngherandcall
i
ng
ever
yoneaski
ngiftheyhaveseeherbutno.I
ts
l
atenow.

Igetupandgr
abmykey
sandt
hent
hef
ucken
dooropens.Sheget
sint
her
oom hummi
ngt
o
somestupidsong.

"
Wher
ethef
uckhav
eyoubeen"Iaskangr
il
y

"
Wel
lhel
l
otoy
out
oo"shesay
s

"Qini
siwedon'tpi
ssmeof fwher eonearthwere
you?I'vebeenworri
edsick.I'
vebeencall
ingnon
stopbuty ouhaventbeenpickingupyourphone.
Wher ewer ey
ouman?"I 'mr eall
yangr
yIdon't
wantt oli
e

"Calm downplease.Iwenttotheicecream
placeintownandmybat t
erygotflat
.AndthenI
metanol dfri
endofmi nefrom v
arsit
yandwe
chil
led"shesays
"
Oldf
ri
endf
rom v
arsi
ty?Agi
rl
"Iask

Sheshakesherhead.

"Aguy.WewerecoolinVarsi
tyandIhaven'
t
seenhiminalongti
me.Hisnamei sSfundo
Sibi
ya.Butweusedtocal
lhimtheHAN."she
sayssmili
ng

Idon'tknowwhybutIf eelj
eal
ous.Somemen
outtherearereal
l
ylucky.Sosheremembers
thi
sSf undoguybutshedoesn'tr
ememberme.
Theguywhohasbeenwi t
hherallt
hist
ime.

"Wow.Idon' tknowi fi
tsyouoryourmemory.
Butthisissomeshadybul l
shi
t.Youdon'
t
remembermebuty ohrememberal l
thi
sboys
withli
ttl
edicks."Isayandthenwalkoutonher.
Igot othebalcony.It akeoutmybl untand
startsmokingit.Ifeelreall
ysad.Real l
yreall
y
sad.Theonl ypersonI '
v eeverloved.Theonly
personIseeaf uckenf utur
ewi thdoesnot
rememberme.Li feisf uckedup.Real l
yfucked
up.May begodi spuni shingmef oral
lthebad
thisI'
vedoneinmyl if
e.Youknowal l
thepeople
I'
vekill
ed.Allt
hewomenwhosehear tsiv
broken.Youknow.Butt henitissaidthatGod
forgiv
esalloursinsandt akesuswear e.Maybe
Ishouldpray.Whatdoy outhink?

Igobacki nsi
demyr oom.Il
ockthedoorfi
rst
.I
got othesafeandopenit
.Ther
ei ti
s.Ihav
en'
t
toucheditinalongassti
me.

It
akei
t.TheHol
yBi
ble.
IclosemYeyesopenthebi
ble.Ij
ustr
andoml
y
pickaver
seoneverse

31Theyrepl
i
ed,“Bel
iev
eint
heLordJesus,
and
youwil
lbesaved—youandy
ourhousehol
d.”

Icl
osemybi
bleandputi
tbacki
nthesaf
e.

Igetonmykneesandcl
osemyey
es.

"Heavenlyfat
her,JesusandGod, Icomeher e
asy ourchi
ld.IknowI'vebeengonef orquit
e
somet imeandt hisi
sjustal i
ttl
ev isitbutwhenI
havet i
meagai nIwil
lcomebackt oy ou.I'
l
l
i
ntroducemy selfi
ncasey oudon' tr emember
me.Mynamei sNkanyezi Mt hethwa.Iam one
ofyourlostsheep.Fathert hereisnotmuchI '
m
askingforbutjustafewt hings.Pl easegi ve
Qini
siwehermemor yback.Iknowhermemor y
hasal otofbadt hingsIdidt oherbuther
memor yAlsohast hefunt i
mesweshar ed
together.HeavenlyfatherIloveher.Ipl
anin
mar r
yingherbuthowcanImar r
ysomeonewho
doesn'tevenknowme.JesusIl eaveitalli
n
yourhands.Thanky ou.In.Thenameoft he
Lord,thefather
,Mar ia,t
hesonandt hyholy
spir
it
.Amen"

Iopenmyeyesandgetbackonmyfeet
.Iv
elost
myappet
it
e.Iopent
hecov er
sandgeti
nbed.I
cl
osemyeyesanddoseoff.

……………

Aweekl
ater
QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Nkanyezii
ssortofgiv
ingmethecoldshoulder
.
Ireal
l
ydon'tknowwhattodo.Butkeenough
abouthim.Ihavegoodnews.Igotajob.YepI
di
dboo.

Ithi
nkmymemor yi
sgett
ingbackt onormal.I
canthinkclear
er.Ev
enwhenIf orgetthi
ngsI
canthinkhardandthenremembert hem.Wel l
I'
vealwayslovedaccount
ingsoI'm not
surpr
isedthatIremwberhowev eryt
hingis
done.

I
'
m st
art
ingt
omor
row.I
'
mreal
l
yexci
ted.

OkaySfundo.Wel
ll
etmejustsayhei
sanice
guy.Hehasbeencal
li
ngmeev er
ymorni
ngand
night.Hemakesmesmi leandl augh.Iwon' tbe
surprisedi fwedat
e.Thi ngi sIkindalikehim.I
knowIj ustmethim againbutIdon' tknow.I
j
ustf eel somehowat t
ractedt ohi m.Hei s
askingmeoutbutI '
mj ustwai ti
ng.ImeanIj ust
don'twantt obei
nar elationshipasi nnow.I
j
ustgoaj obsoI'
m gonnat rygetti
nganew
placebecauseIcan' tcont inuelivi
ngher e
anymor eshamesorrybutI 'm done.DONE.

Igodownst
air
sandheissit
ti
ngont
hecouch.
It
sSundayt
odaysoheain'
tgoi
ngnowher
eI
hope.

Isi
tnextt
ohi
m.Hei
sonhi
sphone.

"
Hi"Isay
"
Hey
"hesay
s

"
Canwet
alk"Iask

"
Wear
etal
ki
ngnj
ena"hesay
s

"
Imeangi
vemesomeat
tent
ion"Isay

"
That'
ssori
chofyou.Youhav en'
tbeengivi
ng
meanyatt
enti
on.Busyony ourphone.Gi
ggli
ng
wi
thyourl
i
ttl
eboyfr
iend.Qini
siwehowdoy ou
t
hinkt
hatmakesmef eel"heasks

"
Bhut
i"

"
AISTOPI
TMAN.BHUTIBHUTIFORWHAT?
MYNAMEISNKANYEZIFORGODSSAKE"He
shout
s.

"I
'
m sorr
yNkany ezi
.ListenSfundoisnotmy
boyf
ri
endokay.Wel lIjustwanttotel
lyouthatI
gotajobandImi ghtjustmov eoutsoon.SoI
j
ustwantedtotellyouf i
rst
"Isay

Hel
ooksatmeandgi
vesmeaf
aintsmi
l
e.

"YouarenoteventryingQi
nisiwe,
try
ingto
rememebrme.It houghtwewer egonnawor k
toget
herbitkeIseey ouhavemadey ourmind
upandt her
eisnost oppi
ngy ouri
ght?"Hesays

NowIf
eel
real
l
ysad

"
Nkany
ezi
Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
.It
scl
ear
thatIdon'tandwon'tremembery ou.It
hinki
ts
bestwegooursepar ateways.ImeanIfeell
ike
I
'm stoppingy oufr
om li
vi
ngy ourl
if
eandIdon't
wantt hat.Pleasej
ustl
etthi
sbe"Isayanda
tearfall
sf r
om hiseye.

Iwi
peitandgocl
osert
ohi
m.Ihughi
m hol
ding
hi
mtight
erandti
ght
er.

"Iwi
shthi
ngswer
edi
ff
erentNkany
ezi
Ireal
l
y
do"Isay

…………….

TwoMont
hsLat
er

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE
Ihopey ouguyswon' tj
udgemebuti m gonna
tel
ly'
al
l anyways.WellmeandSf undoare
dati
ngnow.Iknowi t
scrazyri
ght.I
tsjustthat
thedudecharmsmengeke.Hi ssmi l
e,His
l
augh,hiswalkev er
ythi
ngabouthimj ustdri
ves
menut s.Thefactthatheiseducatedisaplus.
Wellheisamechani calengi
neerbytheway .

EnoughaboutMyboy f
ri
end,Imovedoutof
Nkanyezi
'shouse.I
'
m adapti
ngatmynewjob.
Li
feisprett
ymuchamazi ng.

SfundoandIar egoi ngawayforsomedays.We

will
beleavingnextweek.Hesay sitsasupri
se
andIseriouslycannotwait.Wehaven'
tahdsex
andIknowf orsur
ewear egoi
ngtodoitonthe
vacati
on.Orshoul dIsaybaecati
on.Anywaylet
megetbackt owor k.
…….
.
NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

It
sbeent womont hssinceQinisi
wemov edout
andjudungbythepicsonI nstagr
am sheis
happywithhernewl i
tt
leboyfri
end.Yepsheis
dati
ngthatSfundoGuy .IswearIhatethatguy.
I'
mjustwaiti
ngf ort
her i
ghtmomentt okil
lhi
m.
I'
mjustgonnaf uckuphisbrakesinhiscarand
heisgonnabet akenbyt heLord.

Iveneverbeent hi
ssadi nmyent i
rel
if
e.Qini
siwe
j
ustmov edonwi thherlif
e.Justli
kethat.She
doesntev enfeelbadaboutl eavi
ngmej ustli
ke
that.Aithismemor yl
ossshi tisshadyjustl
ikeI
said.Qinisi
wejustmagi cal
lyremember saguy
whoj ustpopsupandf orgetsme.Theoneguy
whohasbeenwi t
hheral lt
histime.
Letmef orgetabouther.TodayI '
m goi
ngt ot he
str
ipclubwithmybr others.I
'm gonnatouch
andthenbuysomeboot y
.I'm gonnahav ea
thr
eesomet oday.I'
m gonnaf ucktwogir l
sat
thesamet ime.I'
m gonnahav emydi cksucked.
I'
m gonnahav emybal l
ssucked.Li f
eisgonna
begr eat
.I'
m gonnacum insomeone' sv agina.
Someone' smouth.Myni ggasIcan'twaitfor
Tonight.

I
m di
stur
bedbyapatonmyback
I
tsZi
nzi

"
Hi"Isay

"
Unj
ani
(howar
eyou)
"sheasks
"
I'
mli
vi
ngy
ou?
"Iask

"
I'
m good"shesay
s

"I
'
m sor
ryaboutwhathappened"shesay
s.I
knowwhatshemeans

"
Itdoesn'
tmat
ter,
itsgodswi
l
l"

"I
tsjustbadt
hatshedoesn'
trememberal
lthe
shithehasdonetoher
"shesays

If
rown

"
Whatbadt
hings?
"Iask
"Wel l
Sf undoandQi nisiweandIwer efri
ends
backi nt heday .Sohewoul dcomet oourplace
any t
ime.It hink.Inf actIknowhei stheonet hat
plantedCamer asi nQi ni
si we'sroom.Ther ewas
thisvideot hatwentv iral andev eryonesawi tat
school .ItwasQi nisiwenakedy ouknowwal ki
ng
aroundherr oom. naked.t herewer ealso
picturesandev er ything.WI ththecaptionbig
boobi essaggyt oo.Unshav edv agi
napr obably
stinkst ooyouknowal lthet hi
ngsy oucant hink
of"shesay s

I
'
m shocked

"
Wow.Sowhathappenedaf
tert
hat
"

"Wel
lIconfr
ontedSfundoandhedi dn'
teven
denyit
.Hejustst
art
edl aughi
ngtogetherwi
th
hisf
ri
ends.Butkemyboy f
ri
endImeanexwas
abletoremovethevideoandpicturesofft
he
netbutQini
siwestatedcut
ti
ngher self
.She
overdosedt
ooandwasi nhospi
tal f
orsome
ti
mey ouknowSf undodidalotofdamaget o
her"shesays

Youknowwhat ?thi
sti
meI '
m notgonna
i
nterf
ere.Qi
nisi
wewill
havetodealwitht
hisshi
t
onherown.Shechoset hi
sSfundoGuyoverme.
Letherdealwit
hhertr
ash.

Wet alksomemor eandthenwegoour

di
fferentways.ShegoestoherhouseIt
hink
butkeI '
m goingt
otheSt
ripcl
ub.Torel
axand
enj
oyt hesinglel
i
fe
Ksazobal
i
t.
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t48

JustlikeIsaid.I'
m enjoyingthesingleli
fe.Wel
l
myv i
sitt
ot hestri
pclubwasf unasal ways.I
real
lyhadf uny ouknowj ustchil
li
ngwi thmy
brothersandenj oyi
ngl i
fe.Bootyallupinour
faces.Yesesi twaslit
.

I
'm goinghomenowandIgott woofthebest
gir
ls.Iwasntly i
ngwhenIsaidIwasgoi ngto
haveat hreesomel ooki
ngatmenowI '
m about
tohav etwopussi esatthesametime.Whata
ti
met obeal ive.Siy
abongawantedtocome
withmet ot hehousebutIstrai
ghtoutrefused.

I
'm dr
ivi
ngatthegi
rl
sar
esingi
ng.Ohissi
tt
ing
onthefrontwi
thmeandtheot
herisatt
heback.
Funnyt
hingt
heyar
etwi
ns.Cr
azyr
ight
.So
Nkosenyewantedt
ohaveonofthetwins
sayi
ngthatwearetwi
nssoweshouldshare
twi
ns.WhatdidIdoyouask.Wel
lIr
efused.

"
Sowhoi
sBl
uebet
weeny
out
oo?
"Iask

"
I'
m Bl
ue"t
heonei
nthef
rontsay
sInod

Shetouchesmyt hi
ghmovingherhandup.Iget
anerect
ioninstantl
y.Shef
inall
yreachesmy
erect
eddick.Shemassagesi tsl
owly.

"Waitt
il
lwegethome"shedoesn'
tstop
massagingme.Itfeel
sreal
l
ygood.She
unbuckl
esmybel t
.Zipdown

"
Shi
tBl
ueI
'
m dr
ivi
ng"
Shepull
smypeni
sout
.Itst
andsf
ir
m,har
dasa
rock.

"
Don'
tstopdr
ivi
ng"shesay
slooki
ngatmei
n
t
heeye

Br
owni
sbr
ushi
ngmyheadf
rom t
heback.

Ifeel
Bluesmout honmydi ck.Thecol
dnessof
hermout honmydi ckdoessomet hi
ngstome.
Shespitsonit
.I'
m drivi
nginslowmotion
i
gnoringthecarsthatkeephooti
ngwantinhme
todri
vefaster
.
Theyshoul
dfuckt
hem sel
vesbecausespeed
ki
ll
s
Shestar
tsbyki
ssi
ngthetipofmypeni
s.Then
shefi
tsmeinhermouth.Sheissl
owl
y
t
ouchi
ng/semibit
ingmewi
thhert
eet
h.Ifshe
wasn'
tthi
sgentl
eIwoul
dbeinpai
nbutnope
I
'minheaven.

Shest art
sdeept hroati
ngme.Ihol dherhai r
withonehandwhi l
et heotherisont hestir
ri
ng.I
keeppushi ngitdownmaki nghersuckmeev en
mor e.I'
m groani
ngl i
keanani mal.Ifeelmy
bodybui l
dingupasIhol dherhai rti
ghter.Shei
s
nowf uckingmydi ckwi t
hhermout h.Ishooton
hermout handl i
ket hebadgirlshei sshe
swallows.

Ohwowwear
ri
vedsaf
ely
.

Weal lst
ayinthecarevent houghwehav e
arri
vedatmyhouse.I'mf acingthecarroof
taki
ngmybr eath.Yohthatwassomebombass
head.Iswearonmymot her'sbeauti
ful
self
.
"
Okayl
adi
esl
et'
spl
ay"

Wegetoutoft
hecarstrai
ghtt
omyr oom.They
bot
hatt
ackmewithkissesbutIpusht
hem

"
Playwi
theachot
her
,I'
l
lwat
chf
ornow"Isay

Theymov et
othebedandst ar
tki
ssi
ngeach
other
.Theywereweari
ngbodysuit
swhatev
er
yougirl
scal
li
tthesedays.

Theyar enowbut tnaked.Bl

ueli
esont hebed.I
don'tknowifit
sBl ueorBrownbutIt hi
nki
ts
Blue.Herlegswideopen.Brownf eastonher
vagina.Themoanscomi ngoutofhermouth
aredrivi
ngmei nsane.
Brownstopssucki
ngherandgoest
oherf
ace
andstar
tsri
dingherf
ace.

"AhhhfuckyeessMhh"Brownshoutsasshei
s
clear
lyenj
oyi
ngbeingsuckedbyhertwi
n
Ithi
nksheisclosejudgi
ngbythepaceshei
s
ri
dingBluesf
ace.LikeIsai
dsheiscl
ose
becauseshestratsqui
rt
ingandBl
uesucksher
si
sterjui
ces

Okayi
veseenenough.

Itakeof
fmycl
othes.Igr
abacondom andputi
t
on.

Iposi
ti
ont
hem
"I
'm goi
ngt
obefucki
ngyoufrom t
hebackwhi
l
e
yousuckBl
uesvagi
naokay?
"IsaytoBrown
andshenods.

Browni st
ight.Reall
yti
ght.Istar
tof
fslowlyand
thenIincr
easemypace.Themoansi nthi
s
room arebreatht
aking.Theyaresosexy.I
'm
makingmyancest orsproud.

Istartbygivi
ngherslowst rokes.Eachstroke
makesherscr eam louder.Blueisonanother
planet.Browninser
tsaf i
ngerinBl uepussyand
start
sf ucki
ngherwi t
hit.

Anorgasm hi
tsBrownandIfuckherthroughi
t.
Igof
asterandfasterandbef
oreIknowi ti
thi
ts
metoo.Ipull
outandt akemycondom outand
r
unt
othebat
hroom andt
hrowi
tint
het
oil
et

It
akeoutanotheroneandwearitt
heyarely
ing
i
nthebed.Thesebitchest
hinkweareher
eto
pl
ayIsee.

"
Woza"Ipul
lherbyherl
eg

Ipointmydickandshekneelsandt akesi
tand
putsinhermouth.Bl
ue.Ifi
ngerBrownwhi l
e
Bluesucksmegood.It hi
nkIshouldmakeBl ue
myper sonalDi
ckSucker.

Thenightgoesinwithusfuckingandsucki
ng
l
ikecrazy.Weeventual
lyf
allasleepi
neach
other
sarms.Myr oom smel l
slikesexand
pussyalloft
hatshi
t.
………….
.

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Nkany
ezi
"

Isweart
oGodsomeonei
scal
l
ingmyname

"Nkanyezi
itsmeQi ni
siweareyouhere"Ican
hearhervoicecomingcloser
.Ithi
nksheis
comingupt hestai
rs.

Hol
yshi
tIgetof
fbedqui
ckl
y.Fuckt
hesegi
rl
s.

"
Wakeup"Ishaket
hegi
rl
sbut
thwydon'
twant
t
owakeup.
"
Nkany
ezi
"
thedooropensandItaket
hepi
l
lowandcov er
mydicksi
nceshescreamswhenevershesees
i
t.

Shel
ooksatmeandt
henatt
hegi
rl
sandsmi
l
es.

"
Hi"shesay
s

"
Hey
"

"
IwantedtosayHappyBir
thdayandIbakedy
ou
acakefr
eshenup"shesays

Myey
espopsher
emember
s
"Idon'
trememberanyt
hingZinzi
tol
dme"she
saysandsmilesandwalksout

Wow.JustasIwasget
ti
ngmyhopesupabout
herr
emembering.

Itakeashowerandwaket hesebi
tchesupand
givethem money .Theyl
eavewhil
eI'
mi nt
he
shower .Ifi
nishandgetdr
essedandthengo
downst air
s.

Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es

"
Sor
ryaboutt
hat
"Isay

"
Don'
twor
ryI
'
m happyy
ou'
remov
ingon"
"
I'
m notmov
ingonbutwhat
ever
"Isay
.

"What
ever
.HAPPYBIRTHDAY"Shescr
eams
cl
appi
ngherhands.

"
ThanksIev
enf
orgot
"Isay

Shet
akesakni
feandgi
vesi
ttome.
Icutt
hecake

"
Makeawi
shhawu"shesay
s

"
Outl
oud"sheshakesherhead.

Iwi
shy
oucoul
drememberme.
Sheisclappingherhandslooki
ngallcut
e.She
i
swear i
ngaj eanandatshi r
twrit
tenNewday.
Sortofbasic.Iguessshedoesn'
trememberher
senseofsty l
eshehadbefore.

Shest
art
ssi
ngi
ng

I
tsy
ourBi
rt
hday
"
Singi
twi
thme."

"
Idon'
tknowt
hissong"

"
Comeonpar
typooper
"

Shetakesmyhandandwestar
tdanci
ngtothe
songsheissi
ngi
ng.Omuny
ebydistr
ucti
on
boy
scomesont heTVwhichi
sopen.Iwonder
whoopenedi
t.Maybeshedi
d.Shescr
eams.

"
Mysong"shesay
s

Andstart
sdancing.Shehastwolef
tfeet.I
dancewithher
.Wel l
I'
m agooddancer.Alway
s
havebeenthat
'showIgotallthegi
rl
sinhigh
school
.

Sheisl
ookingatmel
i
keshehasnev
erseenme
dancebef
ore.

"NgekeNkany
eziuy
arobha(y
ouar
echeat
ing)
"
shesaysandsit
sdown

Ipul
lherup
"I
tsmybir
thdayy
out
oldmenott
obeapar
ty
pooper
"

Weconti
nuedanci
ng.Basi
cal
lyhercopy
ing
whatI
'
m doi
ngandf ai
l
ingdi
smally
.

Wesitdownti
redashel
l.Shei
sev
ensweat
ing.
Wel
lthatmakestwoofus.

"
Thatwasf
un"shesay
s

"
Tel
lmeabouti
t"

Iputmyhandar
oundher
Si
l
encef
il
lst
her
oom
"
Whathappenedt
othem af
ter
"Iknowwhatshe
i
stal
ki
ngabout

"
Webur nedt
hem.Justmeandmybr
other
sand
Ma"Isay

"
Am Iabadper
sonbecauseIdon'
tremember
t
hem notev
enonce"sheasks

"
No"Isay"
andpleasedon'tbl
amey our
sel
flet
's
j
ustmovei
nfrom thi
splease"Ipl
ead

Shenodsandt
henst
arsl
aughi
ng.okay
.Il
ook
ather
.

"
Qini
si
wehav
eyougonemad"Iask
"I
'
m..LA…i
ml aughi
ngathowIscreamedwhenI
sawyourpeni
sandnowy oucov er
editwhenI
goti
ntheroom"webothburstoutint
olaught
er.

"
Youar
ecr
azyIt
ell
you"Isay

Herphoneri
ngsdi
sturbi
ngus.Bythesmi
leon
herf
aceIcantel
li
tthatSfudi
ckofher
s.

"
Baby"shesay
swal
ki
ngout

Myheartbreaks.Igobacktot
hekitchenand
sl
iceabigpieceofcakeandeati
t.Shecomes
backsmil
inglikearet
ard.

Shesi
tsdownnextt
ome
"
I'
m sor
ry"Inod

"
Nkany
ezi
howwer
ewe?
"Sheasks

Ismi
l
e

"Wewer ecrazy.Wewer ei nlove.Okaymay beI

wasi nlovewithy oualone.Wewer ehappybutI
messedupal otoft i
mesandwebr okeupa
coupleoft i
mesbutweal way sfoundaway
backt oeachot her.Wef uvkedal ottoo.Idont
wantt olieIhurty oualotQi ni
siwe.Imadey ou
crymor eandIhat edmy sel fafterwards.I
cheatedal ot.Ifitwasn'tformycheat i
ng,the
babieswoul dbeal i
veandwewoul dbet ogether
.
I'
m sor r
yforthatqi ni
siwe."Isay .Tears
threateni
ngmyey es.
Shegi
vesmeahug.

"Wecanbef
ri
ends.Ienj
oyyourcomapy
"she
say
sandIsweart
hathurtsmebugInod.

Wel
ooki
ngateachother.Ibr
ingmyf
acecl
oser
t
oher
s.Shecl
earsherthroat

"
Ihav
etot
ell
yousomet
hing"shesay
s

Inod.Fuckweal
mostki
ssed.

"I
'
m goi
ngawaywithSfundof
oracoupl
eof
daysIj
ustwantt
olety
ouknow"shesays
Ir
oll
myey
es

"
Doy ouwantt
owatchamov
ie"Isayi
gnor
ing
whatshej
ustsai
d

"
Yespl
ease.WhyDi
dIgetMar
ri
ed"shesay
s

"
NoHor
ror
"Isay

"
Ohpl
easey
ouwi
sh"shesay
s

Wewat chedthemov i
eandlaughedourasses
of.Wealsowat chedBlackPanthersinceshe
hasacrushonTnchel l
atheonewhoi sthe
bl
ackpanther.Shel ef
tatabout16:30.Ihadan
amazingbir
thday .I
m notsureabouthert ri
p
witht
hisSfudicksoI '
m goi
ngtobet rackingher
every
move.Iwantt
omakesur
esheissafe.
Thisismywif
etobeIhav
etokeephersafe.

………….

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

SfundoandIar
ri
vedlatel
astnightsowejust
gotint
obed.Heisi
nt heshowerright
bnowand
I
'm onmyphonechil
li
ngont hebed.

AndSMScomest
hroughhi
sphone.

Iopeni
t

*makesur
ethegirl
tal
ksIneedt
hosedi
amonds
"theSMSreads.
OkayIdon'
tknowwhatthisis.SoIcloset
he
phoneandgodownstai
rs.Idon'tknowwhere
wearebutthi
splacei
sbeaut i
ful
.

Ieatsomeyoghur
tandthengobackupst
air
s.
Heisonthephone.Hesoundspi
ssedoff
.

"Idon'tknowwhenwear edonewi thherIwil

l
kil
lher...
Stopitshehasbeendat i
ngthi
sguyf or
ay earsheknowswher ethediamonds
are…Qi ni
…st opit.
.OkayI
'
lldealwithi
ttoni
ght…
(helaughs) .
.yeahaft
erIf
uckher"hesay sand
dropst hecall.

Thet
ear
sfal
lvol
unt
aryoutofmyey
es.

Ir
undownst
air
s.SoIhav
etol
eav
enowbef
ore
heki
l
lsme.

Nkany
ezi
ohy
es.

It
akeoutmyphoneandItr
ycall
inghi
mitgoes
st
rai
ghtt
ovoi
cemail
.Isendatext.

*nkanyeziwhatdi
amonndsdoy ouhav
e.Sf
undo
wast al
kingonthephone*Isendi
t

Istandupandr untothedoor.It
rytoopeni
t,
thedoorislocked.Ir
untotheotheroneandits
alsolocked.It
rytoopenthewindowstheyfont
wantt oopen.

Okay
.Iwi
pemyt
ear
s.
"
Qini
si
we"hesay
scomi
ngdownt
hest
air
s.

"
Sfundo"

"
Arey
oucr
ying"Ishakemyhead

Hecomesdownandl
ookatme.

"
Whower
eyout
ext
ingandcal
l
ing"hesay
s

"
Iwasn'
ttext
ingany
one"Isay

"
Giv
emey ourphonenow"hi
sey
esar
escar
y.
NowI'
m scared.

Asl
apl
andsonmyf
ace.Fort
hatsecondmy
v
isi
onget
sbl
urr
y.Theheadachei
sback.

Irunupt hest
airsherunsaf t
ermeandbeforeI
getintheroom heholdsme.Ipushhi m of
fme
andhef all
sdownt hestair
s.Oneroll
aft
erthe
otherandthenlandshit
tinghishead.

Il
ookathi
mfr
om upt
hest
air
s.

"
Sfundo"Ishout

"Sf
undo"Ir
undownt
ohi
m andst
artshaki
ng
him

"
Sfundowakeup"

"
Wakeuppl
ease"i
m nowcr
ying.Whatdi
dIdo.
I
'
m notaki
l
ler
.

Ifeelhi
spul
seitsnott
here.Iputmyheadon
hi
schesttohearhi
sheart
beat.It
snotther
e.I
checkhi
spulseagai
n.I
tsnotthere.

Ist
anduppacingupanddown.Hisphoner
ings
i
nhispocket
.Itr
ingst
il
li
tst
ops.AnSMScones
thr
ough
*
sortoutt
hegi
rlnow,
shewasi
ncont
actwi
th
t
hatMthet
hwafucker
*

Ifeelhi
spulseforthelastti
mei t
snotther
e.I
canthelpbutcry.Iki
ll
edaper son.Buti
twas
selfdef
ence.Hewasgoi ngtokil
lmebutnoone
i
sgonnabel iev
et hat
.Whatshoul dIdo?
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t49

*
***
***
***
**NARRATED*
***
***
***
***
*

Qi
nisi
weispacingupanddownt heroom wi
th
t
earsfal
l
ingfrom herey
es.Shecan'
tbeli
eve
t
hatshejustpushedapersontodeath

"Sf
undopl
easewakeup"shekneelsnextt
ohi
m
shaki
nghi
m butSf
undoisn'
tmoving.

Shefeelsasharppainonherheadandhol dsit
.
Shesitsdownasabangi ngheadacheattacks
her.Hereyesclosed,IdontknowifIshoul
dcall
them fl
ashbacksbuthermindisshowingher
everyt
hingall
inone.
Shecreamshi
tti
ngherhead.Ev
erythingis
happeni
ngatonce.Shesl
apsherselfrepeat
edl
y.
Sfundo'
sphoneget
sanotif
icat
ion.Shel
ooksat
thephoneforawhi
lebef
oretaki
ngit.

*
Arey
ousor
ti
ngt
hegi
rl
*thet
extr
eads

Tearsst
ream downhercheeks.Sher
eal
l
y
doesn'
tknowwhattodo.

*consi
deri
tdoneinaf
ewmi nut
esthough
rememberIsti
l
lhavet
ofuckher.Af
tert
hatIwi
l
l
kil
lher
*Qini
si
wesendsthemessage.

Shehadt
oactfastbutherbr
ainseemsl
i
kei
tis
worki
ngv
erysl
owly.
Shecl
osesherey
es

"JesusIneedyoumorethanevernow.Pl
ease
showmeasi gnofwhatIshoul
ddoJesus
please"

Qi
nisiwet
akesSfundo'
sphoneagai
nandwr
it
es
at
ex tmessage

*MamaI 'mreal
lysorr
yIj ustcan'tstayinthis
awfulworldanymore.Iloveyouandpl easetell
Qini
siweIlovehermor ethanshecoul d
i
magi ne*shesendsthemessaget oSf undo'
s
mom whoshemetoncebutt heyclickedand
theyhavebeencall
ingeachot hereveryday.*

Shewr
it
esanot
hert
ext
*Qini
siwemyl ov
e. Il
ovey oumoret
hany oucan
i
magi ne.Si
ncethef i
rstdayImetyouinVarsi
tyI
l
ovedy ouandstilldo.Pleaset
akecar
eof
yoursel
fasIwon' tbearoundtodoitmyself.
ThisisnotyourfaultbutIhadmyreasons.I
l
ovey ou*shesendst hemessagetoherself
.

Shewi peshertearsandst andsup.The

headachei sst
il
lthere.Hermi ndisshowingher
pict
ures.Shedoesn' tunderstandthem because
theyareallcomingi natonce.Shest andsup
andwal kstothekitchenbal anci
ngherselfwit
h
thefurnit
urebecauseshei sal it
tl
edizzy.

Shegrabsaglassandpoursherselfsome
whisky
.Sheisnotmuchofadr inkerbutr
ight
nowsheneedssomet hi
ngstronger.Shel
ooks
up.Sheisscar
edashellr
ightnow.
"Okaywhatthefuckshoul
dIdo? "Shesay
s
withherhandsonherwaistpaci
ngupand
down.

"
Okay"

Shet
akesherphoneandsear
chesongoogl
e.

*Howt ouseagun*sheget sallthei

nfor
mati
on
ongoogl eandalsowatchesav ideososheis
covered.SheknowsthatSf undohasagun
becausesheoncesawi tandheasl ocar
ri
esit
every
wher eandallt
hetime.

Sherunsupstai
rsandgoesthr
oughSfundo'
s
thi
ngs.Shefi
ndsthegunandtouchesi
twith
herhandwrappedinaT-shi
rt
.
Shepicksi
tupandgoesdownst airs.Sheputs
thegunonthetablecounterinthelounge.She
runsbackt
oSfundoandpul l
shisbodyt othe
l
ounge.Therei
snobl oodnothingsoshe
wonderswhatkil
l
edhi m soeasily
.

Sherunstothekit
chenandopenst heshelves
l
ooki
ngf orglov
es.Shefinal
lyf
indsthem and
wear
st hem.Shealsocov er
swiththeT-shi
rt.
Shedoesn'twantt
ot akeanychances.

Shetakest
hegunandgoestoSfundoand
kneel
snexttohi
m.Theplacet
heyareati
sver
y
excl
uded.

"Ohshi
t"shestandsupandopenst
heTVand
play
sasongt urni
ngupthevol
umeloudashel
l
.
ShemakesSfundohol
dthegunpoi
nti
ngathi
s
head.Onetwothr
eeshehel
psSf
undopul
lthe
tr
iggerand

BOOM
Thegungoesoff.Sf
undo'
sbl
oodget
spl
ast
ered
al
lovert
heplace.
Qini
siwel
eavesSfundoholdi
ngthegunwit
hhis
hand.Notexact
lyhol
dingbuttheguni
sinhi
s
hand.

Sher
unsupst
air
sandtakesof
fhercl
othes
l
eavi
ngt
hemusicsti
l
lplayi
ng.

Shegrabsatowel andwrapsherbodyand
takesthecl
othesshewaswear i
ng,theglov
es
andalsotheT-shi
rt.Sherumstothegarage
whereshethrowst hem i
nabucketandlooks
forpet
rol
.Shedoesn' tfi
ndpetrolbutfunds
parr
afi
n.Shepour st
hepar aff
inont heclothes
andgoesbacki nsi
det olookforamat chstick
andshefindssinceSf undowasasmoker .She
goesbacktothegar ageandbur nstheclothes
ti
llt
heyareno-more.

Shegoesinsi
deandtakessomeclot
hesand
bri
ngsthem t
othegarageandput
sthem down
soitl
ooksli
keshewasburningol
dclot
hesif
someoneasksaboutthesmokeandthesmell
.

Sherunsbackupstairst
othei
rroom andgetsin
theshower.Shecan'tst
opthetear
sthatfal
l.
Shekeepsbangingherheadont hewall
.All
thesefl
ashbacksaremingbackfastsheeven
thi
nkssheisgoingcrazy

Shest
art
sbl
eedi
ngonherf
oreheadbutshe
cont
inueswi
thshower
ing.

"Nomhle,Angel
whoist
hat"shekeepsbangi
ng
herheadonthewal
l
.Sheisnowswol l
enonher
for
ehead.

Shefini
shesshower
ingandgoesbacktot
he
room andshesit
sonthebedandcall
sthe
poli
ce.

………….
.

Thepoli
cehav
ear r
ivedandQinisi
weisweepi
ng
l
ikeamadwoman.Shei srest
ingherheadon
thepol
i
ceman'schestcryi
nghard.

"
Whathappenedmi
ss?
"Thepol
i
cemanasks
Shehashi
ccups.
Thepoli
cemansheisrest
ing
oniscomf
orti
ngher
.Rubbi
ngherback.

"I
..I
…was..
wasshowering.Hetur nedt hemusi c
l
oud.Icouldn'
thearanythi
ngbut …bu…butI
heardagunshot…f.
.t
o.Fora..
Ami .
.ami nuteI
thoughti
t.
.wastheTVsoIdi dn'tmi ndit…but
whenIstartedtocal
lhim hewasntr esponding
soIwentdownand…. .
found.
.h..
him…hh…ont he
fl
oorwithallt
hisbl
ood"shecriesev enlouder
slappi
ngherself
.

"
Whathappenedt
oy ourf
oreheadi
tsswol
l
en"
t
hepol
icemanasks

Shecr
iesev
enhar
der
"Hesomet
imesgetsAggressive.Lastni
ghthe
pushedmeandIhitt
hewal l
…..Butwewer efi
ne
thi
smorni
ng"shesays.

Shecri
esharderandthepoli
cemangoesand
getsQi
nisi
weagl assofwater
.Shegul
psit
down.Shetri
esstandingupbutshef
all
sand
theni
tsli
ghtsoutforher.

………….
.

AWeekLat
er

QI
NISI
WE'
SPOV

Hiscoff
inhasbeenlowered.Hehasbeen
buri
ed.Hismother,
hisenti
refami
lyhasbeen
cryinglikecrazyandi tmakesmesadt oknow
thatI '
mt hereasonf orthi
s.Igueessev er
yone
beli
ev edmebecauseal lt
hisi
ssai dtobea
suicide.Thet extmessagesIsentdi dmesome
j
ust icebecauseev eryonefeelssosor r
yforme.
Theyr eallythi
nkheki ll
edhimself.I
fonlythey
knewI '
mt heonewhoki ll
edhim.Butkeweal l
knowt hatIam theonewhoki ll
edhim.Ican't
beli
ev eI'm akill
er.

"
Qini
si
we"
Ican'
tbel
i
eveIki
l
ledahumanbei
ng

"
Qini
si
we"
Butweal
lknowi
nthi
swor
ldi
tski
l
lorbeki
l
led.

"
Qini
si
we"Il
ookupandSf
undo'
smom i
s
l
ooki
ngatme.
"
Ma"Iwipemyt
ear
s.Idi
dn'
tev
ennot
icet
hatI
wascr
ying.

"
Comel
et'
sgoandeat
"shesay
s

"
I'
m notr
eal
l
yhungr
yma"Isay

Sheshakesherhead

"Youhav
eev
enlostwei
ghtcomel
et'
seat
"she
pull
smebymyhand.

Wegoi nsi
dethehouse.Thetearsfal
lfreel
yasI
seeSf undo'
spict
ureacrosstheroom.My
sobbinggetslouderandlouder
.Mybr eathi
ng
changes.
"
Qini
si
we"

"
Qini
si
we"

Whatdi
dIdo?Iki
l
ledahumanbei
ng.

"
Qini
si
weitsmelookatme"Inot
icethatv
oice.
I
tsNkany
ezi.Whendi
dhegethere.

"
Nkany
ezi
"
LedbyLov
e

I
nser
t50

NKANYEZI
'
SPOV
"Nkanyezi
"shesay
sast
het
ear
sfal
ldownher
eyes.

"Let
'sgo"Itakeherhandandt
hankt
hel
ordshe
doesn'
targuewithme.

Il
eadhert
othecar.Iopent
hedoorforherand
sheget
sinandIr
unt omysideandgetin.

AsI'
m dr
ivi
ngIkeepst
eali
ngglancesather.
Shei
szonedout.Iwonderwhatsheisthi
nking.

"
Qini
si
we"Isay

"
Qini
si
we"
Ishakeherli
ghtlyandt henshelooksatme.
Shelooksreall
ybad.Bagsunderherey es.I
t
l
ookslikeherskinispeel i
ng.Sheevenlost
weight
.Ican'tbeli
eveshei sstr
essingabout
thatdi
ck.ButIthinkthereismoretot hi
s.

"What'
swrongt
alkt
ome"Isayandsheshakes
herhead.

Ohbef
oreIf
orget

"Igoty
ourmessage,
I'
m sor
ryIcoul
dn'
tget
backatyou.SoSf
undowantedthedi
amonds"I
ask

Mor
etear
sfal
lfr
om herey
es
"
PleaseNkanyezi
justt
akemehomeIwantt
o
r
est"shesays

Qini
siwei
snott
hesame.Okayshemayhav e
l
osthermemoryandbecameadi f
fer
entper
son
butthi
swomanI'
mlookingatri
ghtnowisnot
thesamewomanIwasinl ov
ewith.

Shei
sn'
tcapabl
eofki
l
…Nonev
ermi
nd.Qi
nisi
we
i
stooweak.

Idri
vet
omyhouseandnother s.Idon'
tthi
nk
shenot
icedt
houghbecausesheisjustl
ostin
herownworl
d

Igetoutofthecarandgot
ohersi
deandopen
thedoorforher
.
"
Qlet
'sgo"Ipul
lherhandandl
eadheri
nsi
de
t
hehouse.

Shei
sholdingherhead.Iguessshei
shav
ing
oneofherheadaches.

"
Headache"Iaskandshenods.

Ir
unandgethersomepai
nki
l
ler
sandsome
waterandgi
vei
ttoher
.

"
Thanks"shedr
inkst
hepi
l
ls

"
Nkanyezi
canIsleepf
orsomet
imepl
easeonl
y
i
fyoudon'
tmind"shesay
s.

Ismi
l
eandnod.
"Okay
.Youknowy ourwayar
oundt hehousei
f
youneedmeI'l
lbeinmystudy"Isayandshe
nods

Shegoest
other
oom whi
l
eImakeaf
ewphone
cal
ls.

"
Ntanga"Isay

"
Shobozza"hesay
s

"Ineedyoutofi
ndoutever
ythi
ngaboutSf
undo.
Your ememberItol
dyouabouthi
m?"Isay

"
Yes.Whatdoy
ouwantt
oknow"hesay
s
"
Whohewaswor ki
ngwit
horf
or.Ineedt
hat
i
nfor
mat
ionASAP"Isay

"
Sho.Tomor
rowmor
ning"hesay
s

"
Shar
p"webot
hhangup

…….
.

I'
vebeeninthestudyforabout2hour
sstr
aight
j
ustcatchi
nguponsomewor k.Nowl
etme
checkuponqinisiwe.

Igetintheroom andtheresheis.Looki
nglikea
madwoman.Shei ssitt
ingonthebedhuggi ng
herlegsstar
ri
ngintospacewithtearsfal
li
ng
downherey es.
Ir
usht
oher
.

"
Babywhat
'swr
ong"Iask

Shethrowshersel
fonmeandcri
esonmy
chestwhil
ehuggingmybodysot
ight
ly.

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m scar
ed"shecr
ies

"
Scar
edofwhatQ.Tel
lmewhat
'
swr
ongbaby
l
etmehel
pyou"Isay

Sheshakesherheadandcr
iesev
enl
ouder
.

"
Youcan'
thel
pme.Noonecanev
erhel
pme
Nkanyezi
.Takethesef
lashbacksoutofmy
head"shesays

"
Baby
"Ipl
ead

"Pl
easest
op"shesaysandIr
espectherwi
shes
andkeepqui
et.I
fshewantst
otalkshewil
l
.

"Justr
ememberI
'
m her
efory
ouokay
?"Isay
andshenods.

……….
.

Aweekl
ater

I
tsbeenaroughweek.Watchi
ngsomeoneI
l
ovefal
lapar
tandther
eisabsolut
elynot
hingI
candobecauseshedoesn' twanttot alk.She
doesn'
tevenwanttotalktoherfri
ends.She
wentbacktoherhouseandIf eelscar ed
becauseidontknowwhatshei sthinking.What
i
fshet r
iest
okill
herselfagai
n.Idon'tthinkI'
l
l
beabletoli
vewithmy sel
f.

Sfudick.Ohy est hatmot herf

ucker.Ifoundout
thathewaswor kingwi t
hsomeMav undlaguy.
Buttheybot hwor kedforChrisHumf r
y.Some
whiter ichdickheadwhoi ssoongoi ngt olose
hisli
fe.Idon' treallyknowmuchaboutChr i
sbut
Ihaveseenhi m her eandthereatthest ri
pclubs
i
nCapeTown.Idon' treall
yli
kehim.Theni gga
thi
nksheownst hef uckenwor l
d.Ireallydon't
knowhowt heyknewaboutNYdi amondsbutke
theydo.Theonl yper sonIknowwhoi sal i
veis
Nathi butIdon' tthinkhewi ll
bethatf ooli
sht o
fuckwi t hmeagai nbutkey oumaynev erknow
howdi cklessment hink.
I
m driv
ingt
oSiyabonga'
shouse.Yephefinal
l
y
boughtahouse.Iwasst
art
ingtogetti
redofhis
vi
sit
s.
……….
.

Allt
heseni ggascarsareinthey ar
d.Iguessi
ts
afami l
yreunionbecauseIdon' tevenr
emember
thelastti
mei sawtheseniggas.I'
vebeento
str
essedwor r
y i
ngaboutQinisi
we.

Iopenthedoorandthesedi
ckni
ggasar
e
watchi
ngporn.Aisi
esman

"
Thi
sissomegayshi
t"isayandtheyal
llookat
meandthent
heygobacktothei
rporn.
"
Whatar
eyouguy
sdoi
ng"Isay

Theykeepqui
et

"
Aiboy
oudi
cksI
'
mtal
ki
ng"si
l
ence.

Igoandstandi
nfr
ontoftheTVandt
hat
'
swhen
theygi
vemesomeattent
ion

"
Suka(
mov
e)"t
heyal
lscr
eam atonce

Ikeeponst andi
ngandSi yabongastandupand
takesoffhisbel
tandst ar
tschasingmewi thit
.
I'
mr unni
ngf ormyli
fe.Everyonei
slookingatus
andlaughing.Wemaybeol dbutweactl i
ke
kidssomet i
mes.Hef i
nall
ycatchesmeandt he
niggasbeatsmewi t
ht hefuckenbelt.
"Si
yaMsunu(cunt
)"Iscr
eam andhekeepson
beati
ngme.

Hef
inall
ystopsandt
henl
ooksatmepoi
nti
ng
mewithhisfi
nger
.

"Ifyouever.Imeanev erdist
urbuswhi l
e
wat chi
ngpor ntrustmeboyIwi l
l ki
l
lyou"he
say sandthenwal ksaway .Ican'thelpbutl
augh.
IfIdon'tst
opl aughingI'm gonnapeeonmy sel
f
stru.Ievenhav etearscomi ngoutofmyey es.

Icont
rolmysel
fandt
henGoandsitonthe
couchandwatchpor
nwit
hthesel
osers.

"Ihav
eaprobl
em"Isayandt
heyall
ignor
eme.
Theseni
ggasevenhav
eboners.
"
Nkany
ezi
shoosh"Nkoseny
esay
s.

"
Chr
isHumfr
yisaft
erme"Isay
.Si
lence.Only
t
hemoanfr
om thepor
nvideoi
smakingnoise.

"
What
?"Lut
handoasks

Inod

"HewasSf udick'
sbossandt heywant edthe
diamondsandt heywereusingQi ni
siwe.She
sentmeamessaget ell
ingmeandt henoutof
theblueSf udickcommitssuicide"Isayand
Siyabongat akestheremoteandswi tchesthe
TVof f.Thanky ouJesus.
Si
l
ence.

"
Mmmh"Nkoseny
esay
s

"
Qinisi
wecoul
dn'
thav
eki
l
ledSf
udi
ckr
ight
"
Msiziasks

Il
ookathi
m

"
Ial
sothoughtoft
hatbutQi
nisi
wei
stooweak
f
orshi
tli
kethat
"Isay.

Weal
lst
ayi
nsi
l
ence.

"
SoIguesswehav esomeni
ggaswegot
taki
l
l
r
ight
"Si
yabongasays
"
Youdamnr
ight
"Isay

…………

I
tslat
enowwel lnottoolat
ebuti
ts21:
30.Iwas
dri
vi
nghomebutIchangedmymi ndandI'
m
goi
ngtoQini
siwe'shouse.

Igett
her
eandtheli
ght
sareof
f.Ihav
easpar
e
remot
esoIopenthegat
eandparkmycar
.
Igetout
.

Thedoori
sopen.Igeti
nandt hel
ight
sareoff.
Shei
ssitt
ingont
hesofastar
ri
ngintospace.

Shel
ooksatme
"
Qini
si
wewhyar
eyousi
tt
ingi
nthedar
k"Iask

Shel
ooksatme

"
Idi
dn'
tnot
icei
twasdar
k"shesay
s

Okaynowshei
sreal
l
yact
ingwei
rd.

Itur
ntheli
ghtsoninthewholehouseandt
henI
si
tnexttoher.Shei
sweari
ngabr aandashort
.
It
scoldbutsheisweari
ngthatonl
y.
Irunt
oherroom andgetablanketandt
hengo
backtoherandgi
vehertheblanket
.

"
Soar
eyougonnat
alk"Iask
Si
l
ence

"Qi
nisi
weIwanttohel
pyoubutIcan'
ti
fyou
don'
ttal
k"Isay

Shelooksatme.Tear
sagai
n.Ai
Qini
siwe
kodwa.

"Nka.….
Nkany
ezi
Idi
dsomet
hingt
err
ibl
e"she
says

Thi
sismaki
ngmeuneasy

Inod
"
Cany
oukeepasecr
et?
"Shesay
sandInod

"
CanIt
rusty
ou?
"Sheasks

"
Ofcour
sey
oucanbaby
"Isay

"
Nka…"sheputsherheadonmychestandwet
s
i
twit
hhertear
s.

"
Qtal
ktome"Isay

"
Hewant
edt
oki
l
lmeNkany
ezi
."Shesay
s

Okay

"
Who?
"Iask
"Sf
undo.Hewanteddiamondsf
rom y
ouand
aft
erthathewasgonnaki
llme"shesay
s

"
Babyy
ou'
renotmaki
ngsense"Isay

Sher
aisesherheadf
rom mychest

"Ipushedhim downthestai
rsandhefell
.I
sweartogodIdi dn'
twanttokil
lhi
m Nkanyezii
t
wasami st
ake.Ikeptbeggi
nghimtowakeup
buthedidn'twanttowakeup."Shesaysand
goesbackt omychestandcr i
esevenlouder
.

"
It
sgonnabeokay
.Shh"Isay
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t51

NKANYEZI
'
SPOV

Whenshesai dthatSfudickwantedt he
diamondsandhewasgoi ngtokil
lher
after
war dsi swearmi ndzonedout .Qini
siweis
goingt hroughallofthisshitbecauseofme.
Sheist raumat i
zedbecauseofme.Ikeepon
hurti
ngheral l
thet i
me.Shei sholdi
ngont omy
bodyf ordearl i
fe.Hertearsarefall
ingonme
makingmewet .Nott hattypeofwetai take
yourmi ndoutoft hegutter.

"
BabyI
'
m sor
ry"Isay
Sheiscry
ingsi
lentl
y.Ifeel
badev
eey
timeshe
cri
esbecauseIknowI '
m al
wayst
hereasonf
or
hermiser
y.

Letmeremi
ndy
ouofal
ltheshi
tI'
vedonet
o
thi
swoman.

Icheatedonherandbr okeherandshenear l
y
diedwhenshet ri
edtokillhersel
f.Ifail
edto
protectherfrom Nathiandshewasbeat enand
l
ostababy .Isl
eptwithherbestf ri
endandI
wasntt hereforherwhenshewaspr egnantwel
l
forthethreemont hsshewasi nBotswana.I
didnttell
heraboutherf athereventhoughi
knewhi m.MyexAngel kil
l
edourt winsand
madeherl osehermemor yandIcoul dn'
t
protecther.
Andnowsheki
ll
edapersonbecauset
hat
per
sonwasaft
erme.Idon'
tdeser
vetoli
ve.
"Nkany
ezi
pleasedon'
tl
eav
emeher
eal
one"she
says

"
BabyI'm nev
erl
eav
ingy
ou.
"Isayandki
ssher
f
orehead.

Sheev ent
uall
yfellasleepandIhadt opickher
upandt akehertot hebedroom.Thankgodshe
didn'
twakeup.Tomor r
owI'l
laskherhowshe
didall
ofthisshitbecauseSf udi
cksupposedly
shothimselfi
ntheheadbutQi nisiwesai
dhe
pushedhim.Ai I
'l
lwai tfort
omor rowbutfor
nowletmecal lmybr otherLuthandohei st
he
saneoneoutofus.
Hepi
cksup

"
BoyBoy
"hesay
s.Mxm
"
Fuseg"Isayandwebot
hbur
stouti
nto
l
aughter

"
Att
hist
imeoft
heni
ght
.What
sup?
"Hesay
s

"
Ai.AndIhav
ebadnews"Isay

Hekeepsqui
et.Iknowt
hat
'sasi
gnal
formet
o
cont
inue.

"
Qini
si
weki
l
ledSf
udi
ck"Isay

"
WHAT!
"Heshout
s

"
Yesei
shIknowr
ight
"Isay
"Hol
yshi
t.Howi
sshe?I
ssheokay?Fuck
shoul
dIcomeovert
oher
"hesays

Ij
ustl
ovehowal
lmybr
other
scar
eabout
Qi
nisi
we.

"Sheisfal
li
ngapar
tmanandonceagai
nit
sal
l
myf aul
t.Sf
udi
ckwant
edthedi
amondsandhe
wasusingmywoman"Isay.Ir
eal
lywantt
ocr
y
butI'
m not

"Ei
shnkanyezidon'
t.wewereall
atf
aul
twe
shouldhaveputsomebugsonhersowecan
heartheenti
reconver
sat
ion.Nowwehavej
ust
fuckedupherli
fe"hesay
s

"
Ait
ell
meabouti
t.Shei
sfal
l
ingapar
tmanand
Ihat
eit
.Whati
fshet r
iestocommi tsui
cide
agai
n.Howwil
lIli
vewithmy sel
fknowingI'
m
ther
easonf
orthatagain.
"Isay

"Thi
sti
mewear
eal
latf
aul
tit
snotonl
yyou"he
says

Wet alksomemor eandt henweendourcal l

.I
takeoffmyj eanandj acket .Igeti
nbedhol di
ng
herfrom behind.Shet urnsandr estsherhead
onmychest .Imi ssedt his.Imissedthis
womanev enthoughshei snottheQinisiweI
usedt oknowbutIst il
l loveher.Withev ery
thing
i
nmeandIwi lldoanyt hingtoprotecther.Ikiss
herforeheadandsl eep.

……….
Shehadni ghtmaresthewhol enightbutIhel
d
hertight.WellIcouldn'tsl
eepsoIwokeupand
I'
m cooki ngjungleoats.TheonlythingI'
m
actuall
ygoodat .Qisst i
l
lasl
eep.Wel lshe
l
ookedpeacef ulsoIletherbe.Shet ookaleave
atwor k.Wel lt
hat'swhatZinzit
oldme.Shei s
real
lyhur tbywhatQi nisi
weisdoing.Pushing
heraway .Butifshewasi nQini
siwe'sshoesshe
woulddot hesame…

I
'
m seri
ouslyworri
edNGOQini
siwe.Sheisnot
f
orthi
slif
e.Thekil
li
ngandl
yi
nglif
e.Thisshit
r
eal
lyhitherhar
d.

"
Nkany
ezi
"sheshout
s

"
I'
m her
e"Ishoutt
oo
Shecomest
otheki
tchenwr
appedi
nabl
anket
.
I
tspr
ett
ycol
dtoday
.

Shegi
ggl
es.

"
You'
rewear
ingmygown"shesay
s

Il
augh

"AiandIhat
ethiscolouryazbutkewhatcanI
do.Theweatherisnotonmysi de"Isayand
shesmilesandsitsonthechair

"
Youhungr
y?"Iask

"
I'
m st
arv
ing"
Idi
shupf
orherandgi
vehert
hemi
l
kandsugar

Webothdi
gin.Wowt
hisi
sni
ce.Ir
eal
l
ydi
da
goodj
obyaz.

"
Qini
si
wehowdi dyoudoit
.Imeanbecausei
t
wassai
dthatt
hatboyshothi
msel
f"
.
Sheconti
nueseati
ngandaftersomet
imeshe
rai
sesherheadandlooksatme.

"Itookhisgunandputi
tinhi
shandandpul
l
ed
thetri
gger."

"
Youdon'
tknowhowt
ouseagunnj
e"Isai
d

"
Googl
edi
t"shesay
swhi
l
eeat
ing
"
Thef
ingerpr
int
s"

"Myhandwaswr appedinaT-shi
rtandgl
oves
andIburnedever
ythi
ngandtookashower"she
saysandwipeshertear
s

WowQi
nisi
wei
sast
rongwoman.

"
You'
rest
rongbaby
"Isayandgi
veherahug

"
Nkany
ezi
Iki
l
ledahumanbei
ng"shesay
s

"
I'
m sor
ry"Isay

"
For
?"Sheasks
"
Fornotbeingt
hereforyou.Fornotprot
ect
ing
y
ou.Qini
siweI'
m sor
ry"Ifeell
i
kecryingser
ious

"Nkanyezipl
easestopit
snotyourf
aul
t.I
shouldn'
thavelef
twithhi
m"shesays

"
ButIshoul
dhav
ebeent
her
efory
ou"

"
Nkany
ezi
no"shesay
s

"
Let
'sagr
eet
odi
sagr
ee"Isay

Si
l
enceagai
n

"
Nkanyezi
heisevery
where.Everyti
meIcl
ose
myeyesheisther
e.WhenI'
m sleepi
nghei
sin
mydreams.I
'mtir
edforr
eal"shesaysasmor
e
t
ear
scomeoutofherey
es

Ismi
l
e.Ir
emembert
hef
ir
stper
sonIki
l
led

"Thathappenst
of i
rstt
imer
s.Shoul
dItel
lyoua
storyaboutmyfi
rstti
mekil
li
ngaperson"Isay

Shel
ooksatmeandnods.

"Wel lIwas16andIwasst il
li
nhighschoolI
think.Wewer ewr iti
ngexamsatthattime.
Ther ewast hi
st eacherMrMsomi .Hewas
alway sallupinmyspace.I ncl
asshewoul d
brushmyhai r.Touchmey ouknowseduct iv
ely
butIdi dn'
ttakenot i
cebecausehewasmanl y
didn'tlookgay .Hewasamat hsteacher.Ihad
i
ssueswi thmat hssohetoldmet hatIshould
comet ohishousef orpri
vat
elessons.Ididand
that'swhenIsawhi struecolours.Hel ockedall
thedoor s.Hewast ouchyandshi t.Hewas
olderandobv iouslystrongerthanme.He
turnedmet oliedownandashewasgoi ngt o
takeof fpantsIstabbedhi m.Inthehead. I
alway scarr
iedmyokapi .Wellmyf athergavei t
tomeandt oldmet oalway scarryit
.Socany ou
i
magi nethetraumaIwentt hrough.Being
sixteenandbei ngaki l
ler.Thebloodwasal l
ov erme.Ihadt ocl
eanmymessup"Isay

Sheislooki
ngatmewit
heyespopped.I
'
m
tr
yingsohardt
ocont
rolmytear
s.

"
Andwhatdi
dyoudo?
"Sheasks

"
Ibur
nthi
shousewi
thhi
minsi
de"Isay
"WowNkany
ezi
.Theni
ght
mar
es?
"Sheasksand
Igi
ggl
e

"YohIwasev enshit
ti
ngonmy sel
f.Iwasseing
him ever
ywhere.Iwaseventalki
ngt ohi
m
begginghimtoleavemealoneandIwast he
onlyonewhosawhi m.Myf athercaughtme
tal
kingandhebeatmeupwant i
ngmet otel
l
himt het
rut
handIdi d.Hetaughtmehowt o
manup"Isay

"
Sowhatdi
dyoudot
ost
opt
hef
lashbacks"

"
Imovedon.Ist
oppedf
eel
i
ngguilt
ybecausei
t
wasei
thermeorhi
m.AndIchosetosave
mysel
f"Isay

Shenodsandwi
peshert
ear
s
"
I'
ll
tryt
hat
"shesay
s

"Don'
tjustt
rybutdoit
.St
opfeel
ingguil
ty.I
t
happenedbuty ouwer
esavi
ngyoursel
fandI'm
proudofthat"Isay

"You'
repr
oudofmef
orki
l
li
ngsomeone?
"she
asks

"Noum pr oudofy ouforst andi

ngupfor
yourself.Forbeingstrong.Fordoingalloft
his
foryoursel f
.Forbeingbr aveandsmart.Um not
sayingki l
li
ngi sagoodt hingbutyouknowits
eit
hery ouki l
lorgetkil
ledbuty ou'
l
lneverdoit
again.I'
lldot hatf
oryou.I'm her
eforyou.Igot
you. "Isay
Sheat
tacksmewi
thahug.

"
You'
reaniceper
sonNkanyezi.AndIt
hankgod
f
orbr
ingi
ngy oui
ntomyl
ife"shesays

"
You'
reaniceper
sontooandIalsothankgod
f
orbr
ingi
ngy oui
ntomyli
fe"Ial
sosay

Shel
ooksatme

"I
tsashamewear ebot hgoi
ngt ohell
because
webot hwouldhavebeenpast orsinheaven.
Butkeitscoolyouwil
l beSatan'sr
ighthand
manandI '
llbehisPA."Shesay sandwebot h
burstouti
ntolaught
er.

Nowmycomedi
ani
sback.
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t52

NKANYEZI
'
SPOV

It
sbeenaweekandI '
m happytosaythatIam
seingadi f
ferenceinQinisi
we.Sheisslowlybut
surel
yget t
ingbet t
er.Imeanshedoesn'thave
night
mar esany more.Sheisnotscaredtosleep
aloneany more.Shewentbackt owor k.
Everyt
hingisgoi ngjustf
ine.Well
shest i
ll
doesn'tremembermebuty ouknowI'm not
goingtogi v
eup.

Welli
mi nCapetownrightnow.Iar
ri
vedlast
ni
ght.Chri
sHumf r
yisthissi
desoIwantedt o
haveafacetoface,mant omanconver
sation.
Butfi
rst
lyletmecallQi
nisi
weIhav
etomake
sur
eshei sgoodthatsi
de.

I
tri
ngsandshepi
cksupaf
tert
hef
our
thr
ing.

"
MrMt
het
hwa"shesay
sandIgi
ggl
e

"
Awsonobaby
,myl
ove"Isayandshel
aughs

"Shamey ouwi
sh.SowhatdoIowet
his
pleasur
eStar
"shesay
s

"
AwsoIcan'tcal
lmyf
avor
it
eper
sonwhenI
wantt
o"Isay

Shegi
ggl
es
"SoI
'myourf
avor
it
eper
son.Wowt
hat
'
saf
ir
st"
sheSay
s

"ComeonQy
ouknowy
oumyf
avor
it
eper
son"I
say

Shesar
cast
ical
l
ylaughs

"SoifI
'myourf
avori
teper
sonwhydidn'
tyou
takemewithyoutoCapeTown.Idon'
tthi
nkI'
ve
everbeent
hatsi
de"shesays

"
Dontwor
ryI
'
llt
akey
ounextt
ime"Isay

"
OkaysoIwant
edt
otel
lyousomet
hing"
"
Okay
"isay
.Thi
sgi
rl
slov
est
alki
nghau

"
Dontbesupr
ised"
shesay
sinal
mostawhi
sper

"
Okay
"

"
Makesur
eyoudontf
aint
.Doy
ouhav
ewat
er
wi
thy
ou"shesay
s

"
Qini
si
wej
ustt
alkmanwhat
'
swr
ongwi
thy
ou"

"
Rel
ax.Okay
.I.It
hinkI
'
mles"

OkaynowIreal
lydontunderst
andwhatl
esi
s.
Les.Whati
sthat?I
sthatevenaword?
"
Okaywhati
slesQi
nisi
we"Isay

"
Hauhowol
dar
eyouagai
n"shesay
s

"
Shutupandj
ustt
ell
mewhati
sles?
"

"Lesi
slesbi
anNkany
ezi
.It
hinkI
'
m al
esbi
an"
shesays

Ican'
thelpitIburstouti
ntolaughter
.Tear
sar e
evencomingoutofmyey es.Myst omachhurts.
JesusIthi
nkI '
m gonnapeeonmy sel
f.Holyshit
I'
veneverlaughedthismuchinmyent i
rel
i
fe.
Qini
siweisacomedi anngeke.

"
Arey
oudone?
"Sheask
"No"Iconti
nuewithlaughing.Hol
yshitIcan'
t
helpi
t.IknowthisiswrongbutIcan'thelpit
.
Qini
siweisalesbian.Hau.Thisgi
rll
ovesdick
sonowshei stir
edofi t.Waitisi
tApri
l?May be
sheisAprilf
ooli
ngme.

"Qi
..Qi
nisi
weisi
tApri
lfoolbabywhat
'
swr
ong"I
sayandconti
nuel
aughing.

"
Nkany
eziI
'm notyourbabyandnoi
tsnotApr
il
f
ool
sI'
m notplay
ing"shesays

"
Okay
.Sowhoel
sehav
eyout
old?
"Iask

"
Thobi
andZi
nzi
"shesay
s

"
Andwhatdi
dtheysay
"Isay
"Theyl
aughed"shestart
slaughi
ngt
ooandI
j
oinher.Nowwebot hlaughi
ngandi
tfeel
s
good

"
Qini
si
webuty
oul
ovedi
cknj
e"Isay

"Nkanyezi
Idontr
emembert
hatpar
tofmyli
fe.I
don'tr
ememberhavi
ngapeni
sinsi
deme"she
says

"
Soy
out
hinky
ou'
reat
tr
act
edt
ogi
rl
s"Isay

"
Yes.It
hinkso"

"Okaydoyouwantmetoremindwhati
tfel
tli
ke
havingapeni
sinsi
dey
ou"Isay.
Iknowwher
eI'
mtaki
ngt
his

"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"Shesay
s

"Doyouwantmet
oshowt
het
hingsweusedt
o
do?"Iask

Si
l
ence

"
Qini
si
weI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou"Isay

"Nka…uhmm t
hisconver
sati
onisgetti
ng
awkwardnowlet'
sdropitpl
ease"shesays

"
Buty
oust
art
edi
t"i
say
"LookI
'vegottogonow.Wewil
ltal
klater
.Bye"
shesaysandhangsup.Maybesheisbusy.But
youwill
neverknowwit
hthi
sgir
l.Sheisavery
weirdwomant hi
sone.

Igetintheshoweranddomybusiness.Aft
er
thatIgetdr
essed.Itakemygunandevery
thing
Imayneedandhi ttheroad.

Thi
sfuckeri
satthecoff
eeshop.Ti
xtol
dmehe
i
swithhiswi
fe.SoI'
m goi
ngther
enow.

…………

I
'm getoutofmycarandspothim.Hei sindeed
wit
hhiswi f
e.Somewhit
ebitchnje.Shelooks
goodthoughmay beIwi
l
lfuckhertonight.Keep
i
nmi ndI'
m st
il
lsi
ngleandI
'v
ebeentaki
ngcare
ofQsoIneedt orel
easei
nsomeone.It
hink
thi
sbit
chismyt y
pe.

AsIgeti nt hecof feeshopChr i

sisnol
onger
sit
ti
ngwi thhi swif e.OkayIguesshewentto
thetoil
etbuti dontknowbecausehewent
outsi
de.If oll
owhi m sl
owlyandhegetsinhi
s
caranddr ivesof f.Hedidn'tseeme.Godworks
i
nmy st
eriousway s.

Igobacki
nsi
de.

"Mi
ssmayI"shelooksatmeandatt
hechai
r.
Shel
ookaroundandthenl
ooksatmeagai
n
andsmi
les

"
Sur
e"
Isi
tdown

"
Nkany
ezi
Mthet
hwa"Iext
endmyhand

"
VanessaHumf
ry"weshakehands

"Sowhyi
sabeaut
iful
womanl
i
key
our
sel
f
sit
ti
ngal
one"i
ask

Shebl
ushes.Iguessi
tst
hebeaut
if
ulcomment
.

"
Myhusbandj
ustl
eft
"shesay
s

Iactsad
"
Oucht
hathur
ts.Soy
ou'
remar
ri
ed"Isay

Shesmi
l
es

"
Yes"

"SoIguessIshouldgobef
oreyourhusband
kil
l
smef orpreyi
ngonhisver
ygorgeouswife"

Shebl
ushes.Yohshehast
urnedpi
nk.

"
Idontt
hinkhewi
llmindwear
ejustsi
tt
ingand
t
alki
ngnoharmri
ght?
"Shesays

"
Wellthat
'st
heproblem.I'
mthetypethatget
s
whathewantssotrustmeIwanty outobe
mineVandIwill
takey ouawayf
rom him"Isay
Herj
awdr
ops.Shei
spi
nk.

"
Nkany
ezi
"shesay
sinal
mostawhi
sper

"
NoVanessal
etmego"

Ist
andupshet
ouchesmyhand.

"Si
tdownandl
et'
sgett
oknoweachot
her
".She
says

Somewomenkodwa.

Isitdownandweor
dermorecoffeeandcake
sl
ices.Shet
ell
smeever
ythi
ng.Howhere
husbandisneverhome.Howhenev
erspends
ti
mewi t
htheirki
ds.

Webot
hst
andupandgoout
side.

"itwasni
cetalki
ngt oNkanyezi
.Itf
eel
sli
keI
'
ve
knownyouforever"shesays

"MetooV.Itsbadwewontseeeachot
her
any
mor e"Isay

Shel
ookssadf
orsomeawkwar
dreason

"I
tsbad"shesay
s.Shel
ooksatmewi
tht
ear
sin
hereyes

"
Veewhat
'swr
ong"i
sayasIhol
dhert
ight
.She
sobsinmyarms.Ipickherupandleadherto
mycar.I
'm dr
ivi
ngar anger
over
.Iopenthe
doorandputherinandgotomysideandgeti n

"
Veewhat '
swrongtal
ktome"Ipl
ead.Idont
r
eall
ycarebutIj
ustwantt
ofi
shsomei nfof
rom
t
hischi
ck.

"Veetalktome"shelooksatmeandbr ingsher
faceclosert
omine.Ourli
pstouch.Iki
ssher
back.Wepassionat
elyki
ssuntil
Ibreakthekiss.

"
Yourki
dsv
eei
tsget
ti
ngl
ate"i
say

"
Ohshi
tIal
mostf
orgot
"

"
Lookl
etmedr
ivey
ourcar
,younoti
nther
ight
st
atet
odr
ive"

"
Whatabouty
our
s.?
"Sheasks

"
Dontwor
ry,
I'
ll
getsomeonet
ofet
chi
t"i
say

Wegetoutofmycarandgeti
nhers.Wedr
ive
toherki
dsschool
s.Yepy
ouhear
dmer i
ght
.
School
s.

Shehas4ki
ds.Twointhesameschool
andt
he
othert
woinanot
herschool
.

Twol ookabout4.Theyar
etwins.Andthe
othert
wolookabout5andsix.Twogirl
sand
twoboys.Cuteki
ds.
"
Veedoest
hismanbeaty
ou"Iask.Theki
dsar
e
maki
ngnoi
seint
hebackseat
.

Shel
ooksatme

"Nohei
sjustnevert
here.Helov
esmeIknow.
Butt
hesexisnotasitusedtobeNkany
ezi
"

"
Soy
ou'
recr
yingbecausey
ouwantsex"Iask

Shel
aughs

"
Isi
twr
ong"

"Noit
snotVee.Soy
ouwantust
ohav
esome"I
ask
Shel
ooksdown

"
Veet
alkt
ome"Isay

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Vee"

"
Woul
dyoumi
nd"
shesay
s

"andy
ourki
ds"Iask

"
EishIf
orgotaboutt
hem "shesay
s

"
Lookwewi
l
lmakeanar
rangementokay
?"Isay
andshesmi
l
es.

"
Doesany
onewantasl
ushy
"Isay

"
YES!
"Theyal
lsayatonce.

Iparkthecarandgetout.Igeti
nthest
oreand
get5dr i
nks.Sl
ushes.Fourf
ortheki
dsandone
forVanessaHumf ry
.

Itakeoutt
hepil
lsf
rom mypocket
.Thesepi
ll
s
knockyououtandyou'
l
lonlywakeupaft
er
somehoursti
redandwasted

Iputtwopil
lsi
neachcupandthengobackto
thecar.Igi
veever
yonet
hei
rsl
ushesandthe
madam.
"
Thanky
ou"ev
ery
onesay
s

Ist
artt
hecar .Every
oneisdr
inki
ngt
hei
rsl
ushy.
Il
ookattheki dsinther
earv
iewmir
ror
.They
l
ookdizzy.Ismile.

"
Nkany
eziwhati
sin….
"Theni
tsl
i
ght
soutf
or
t
heVanessa.

Theki
dsar
eal
soknockedout
.

Okayi
tsshowt
ime.

It
akeVanessa'
sphoneandsendat
extt
oChr
is
Humfr
y
*
babemeandtheki
dsareatt
hemal
l
.I'
l
lsee
y
oulat
erl
ovey
ou*Isend

*
okaymyl
ove.*

Chrisyoumessedwi tht
hewr ongman.Nowi ts
ti
met opayf orput
ti
ngQini
siweThroughallof
Thisshit.Il
ookatTheki
dsandt henlookatthe
wife.I
tsbouttogodown.Itstruewhentheysay
thesinsoftheparent
swill
fallupont
heir
chil
dren.Shame.
Ledbyl
ove

I
nser
t53

Thiswomanhasn' twokenup.Sheisti
edt
oa
chairandissleepi
ngli
kesheisathermot
hers
place.Herneckisgonnahurtwhenshewakes
up.Nxf uckitI
'm waki
ngherup.Itakeabucket
andfi
llitwithcol
dwat er
.Igobacktoherand
pourthewat eronher.Shewakesupbreathi
ng
heavi
l
y .Shelooksaroundtheroom andthen
hereyesf undmine.Theshockonherface.

"
Nkany
ezi
what
'sgoi
ngon?
"Sheasks

"
Veeveevee.Ther
eisal
otgoi
ngonmyl
oveI
r
eal
lydon'
tknowwheret
ostar
t"

"
Mykids.Nkanyeziwher
ear
emyki
ds?
"Her
t
ear
sarenowf all
i
ng

"
Rel
axt
heyar
easl
eep"

"
Pleasedon'
thur
tthem ki
l
lmei
nst
ead"
"Woahwoahwoah.Whosai dany t
hingabout
ki
ll
ingVee.Ij
ustwantali
tt
leinfor
mationandif
youworkwithmeIwon'thurtyou.Underst
ood?"
Isayandshenods

"
Any
thi
ngj
ustdon'
thur
tmyki
ds"

"
Idon'
tki
l
lki
dsv
ee"

"
Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me"

"
Yourhusband.Hedidsomet
hingt
osomeoneI
l
ovesonowi wanthimtosuf
ferj
ustl
i
kehe
mademygi r
lsuff
er"

"
Soi
fyouwantmyhusbandwhyhav
eyout
aken
me?
"Shesay
s

"
Heal
sousedmygi
rlt
ogett
ome"

Shecont
inuescr
yingandt
henst
art
sscr
eami
ng

"
HELP.
.!
"

Ij
ustl
ookatherscr
eami
ngl
i
keamadper
son.

"Noonecanhearyou.Thesewal
l
sar
esound
proofsocutt
hebull
"

"
Pleasel
etusgo"

"
Voet
sekman"
Myphoneri
ngs.Icheckt
hecal
l
edI
Dit
s
Qi
nisi
we.
Il
eav
ether
oom.

"
Q"

"HeyyouI'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou.Whywer
en'
tyou
picki
ngup"

"
EishIwasbusysor
ry"

"
Busyf
ucki
ngsomehoes"

"
Nxf
useg"Isay
"
I'
vehear
dal
otabouty
ouNkany
ezi
"shesay
s

"ai
bodot
ell
"

"I
'
vehear
dthatyou'
reamanwhor
e"shesay
s
andbur
stsouti
ntol
aught
er

"
That
'sani
nsul
tyouknow"

Shecont
inuesl
aughi
ng

"I
'
m ki
dding.Hawwhyar
eyousosensi
ti
ve?
"
Shesays

"
Didy
oucal
lmet
olaughandi
nsul
tme"Isay
"
Ofcour
senothaw.Ij
ustwant
edtotel
lyout
hat
I
'
m goi
ngonadatetomorr
ow"shesays

"
Wit
h?"Iaskangr
il
y

"
Woahcal
m downboo.Wi
thMi
tchel
l
"

"
Andt
hati
s?"

"
Agi
rlImetatwor
k"shesay
sandIj
ustl
augh

"
Aibobabewer
eyouser
iousaboutt
hisl
esbi
an
t
hing?
"Iask

"
I'
mjustt
ryi
ngsomet
hingdi
ff
erentNkany
ezi
"
"
QcanIasky
ousomet
hing"

"
Sur
e"

"Doyouf eel
somet hi
ngforme.I'm nottal
king
aboutyourfeel
ingsfrom t
hepastbutI '
mt alki
ng
aboutnow.Meandy ouhav ebeenspendingso
mucht i
met ogethersomay beyoufeel
somethingforme"Isay

Si
l
ence.Shedoesn'
tanswerme

"
Qini
si
we"

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Arey
ougonnaanswerme"Iask
"
Uhmm….Idon'
tknowNkany
ezi
?"

"
Whatdoyoumeany
oudon'
tknow?I
tsei
thera
y
esorano"Isay

"
Nkany
ezi
pleasest
op"

"
Ngezeni
(whatdi
dIdo)
"Isay

"
Stopconf
usi
ngme"shesay
s

"
Howam Idoi
ngt
hat
"Iask

"
Nkany
ezi
Ihav
etogo"
"
List
enI'm comingbacktomorr
owsowecan
t
alkfacetofaceandpleasedon'
thav
esexwi
th
t
hatgirl
okay ?
"Isay

"
ByeNkany
ezi
"

"By
eQinisi
weIl
ovey
ou"Isayandshechuckl
es
andhangsup.

Igocheckontheki
dsandtheyarefastasl
eep
snor
ing.Imaybeevi
lbutIwon'
tki
ll
t heki
ds.

Igobackt
oVee.

"
Areyoureadytot
alk.YouseeIhaveanhour.I
f
youdon'
twanttot
alkIwil
lbombt hi
sbui
ldi
ng
wit
hyourki
dsinsi
de"
Herey
espop

"
OkayI
'
llt
alk.I
'
llt
alk"shesay
spani
cki
ng.

It
akeachai
randsi
tdownl
ooki
ngather
.

"
Iwantt
oknowabouthi
sbusi
nesses"

"Okay.Heownsapr osti
tutionbusinessand
theyt
r affi
ckgi r
ls.Hestar t
edget t
inginthe
diamondbusi ness.Idon'tknowal lt
hedetail
s
aboutt hat.Butonebusi nessthathelpshim
gainmoneyi sthecocainebusi ness.That'
sallI
know"

"
Doy
ouhav
eaccesst
othemoneyhemakes"I
ask

"Noheonl ygivesmeanal lowanceof20

thousand.Idon'treal
lygetanyt
hing.He
control
sev er
ything"shesays

"Okayherei
sthepl
an.Iwantt
otakeev
ery
thi
ng
from hi
m.Ever
ycenthemayhaveandwewil
l
shareit
.50
50.Okay
"Isay

"
Hei
sconnect
edhei
sgonnaki
l
lus"

"Hebuy shispower.Withoutanymoneyheis
nothi
ng.Wewi llt
akethemoneyandaf t
ert
hatI
wasn'tyoutodisappear.I
fyoumentionmy
namet rustmeIwi l
lfi
ndy ouandki
l
ly ouwhi
le
yourkidswatch"Isay
Shenods.

Igetupandt
akemyl
apt
op.

"Won'
tweneedanI
Tspeci
ali
stf
ort
hat
?"She
asks

"
TrustmeIgott
his"

Ist
artworki
ngonmycomputer
.Itakehi
s
moneyslowlyandbyt
heendofthedayhewi
l
l
havenot
hing.

"
I'l
lopenanewaccountforyouandI
'
llputthe
moneyt heresothatwewon'
tdr
awattent
ionto
you".Isayandshenods.
IsendNkoseny
eanSMSt ell
inghim ev
ery
thi
ng.
Heopenstheaccountf
orVanessaandweput
someofthemoneyinthataccount.

I'
vebeenonmyl aptopf orabout2hour snow.
I'
vemanagedt ostealabout20mi ll
ion.Her eall
y
doesn' thavethatmuchmoney .I
ntotal hehad
30mi ll
ionandI '
vealreadytaken20sohel ef
t
wi t
h10butast imegoesonhewi ll
bel eftwith
nothing.Vanessahasbeenl ooki
ngatmeal l
thistimeandi tsprettyuncomf or
table.Mxm.Oh
Ialsodeci dedtogetChr isintotr
oublewi th
SARS.Imadehi m oweSARSt axmoneyand
trustmei tsalot.Iwonderhowhei sgonnapay
thisloanifhehasnomoney .

AnotherhourpassesandChri
sHumf r
yis
of
fici
all
yabrokenigga.Hehasnot
hinginhi
s
bankaccountoraccount
s.HeowesSARSal
ot
ofmoneyeishli
feisamazing.

Itransef
fed50percenttomeandt heother50
percenttoVanessa.Shewill
needthi
smoneyt o
startanewlif
eforhersel
f.Awayfr
om thisman.

I
'
m doneandIgetupandst r
etchmysel
f.Yoh
I
'
veworkedsohard.Thetimeis22:
30andy oh
i
mtir
ed.Ij
ustwanttosleep.

"
I'
m done"Isay

Shel
ooksatme

"Getsomesleeptommorowmorni
ngy
ouare
goingtoCubathatswher
eIwanty
out
ostay
"
Shenods

"
Nkany
ezi
aren'
tyougonnaunt
ieme"

Il
ookatherandshakemyhead.

"NoI'
m not.Youwill
sleepti
edt oachair
.That
wil
lteachyoutostopchasingblesser
sand
bei
ngwi t
hmenf ortheirmoneysfebe(bit
ch)
"I
sayandleavetheroom.I'm notevengonnagi
ve
heranyfood.

Igost
rai
ghtt
omyroom.It
akeoutphoneand
cal
lmyCapeboy
s.

"
NtangaIwantChr
ishandl
ed"Isay
"
How?
"

"Dontkillhi
m.Justmakesureheisparal
ysed.
Afterthatbombhishouseandhiscarsiwant
himl ef
twi t
hnothi
ng"

"
Consi
deri
tdoneboss"

"
Shar
p"

I
geti
ntheshoweraf
tert
hatIgost
rai
ghtt
obed.

…………….

I
tsanewday
.Li
fei
samazi
ng.Ij
ustgotmoney
whichIdi
dn'
twor
kfor.Li
fei
samazi
ng.Godi
s
goodallt
heti
metr
ustme.

I
ts6o'clockint
hemor ningandIjustcame
backfr
om theairpor
t.Vanessaandherkidsar
e
onaplanet oCubaaswespeak.I '
m dri
vi
ngto
myplacesoIcanpackandgobackhome.I
missQ'scrazyass.

Myphoner
ings.

"
Shar
p"

"Yesbossi
tsme.Ijustwanttosaythatt
heold
manisinhospi
tal
.Myt hugdoctorsaysi
tsnot
goodandifhesur
viveshewon'tbeabletowalk
andbothhisar
mswon' tbeabletoworkeit
her
"
hesays
Asmi
l
ecr
eepsonmyf
aceandIl
eti
tbe.

"Myniggat
hat
'ssomegoodassnews.The
house?"

"
Thatshi
twasbombeddowni
ncl
udi
nghi
scar
s"

"
Ist
womi
l
li
onokay
?"Iask

"
Bozzay
oudonthav
eto.Wef
ami
l
yremember
"

"
NoIwantt
o"Isay

"
Ify
ousayso.Twomi
l
li
oni
sgr
and"
"
Shar
pnt
wana"

Ihangupanddr
ivehome.Igether
eandst
art
packi
ng.

……………

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

Li
fehasbeenamazi ng.WellNkanyezihel
ped
mealot.Idontknowwher eIwouldbewi thout
hi
m.Inolongerhav ethef
lashbacks.Idontfeel
badanymore.Sfundowasgonnaki llmesoI
ki
ll
edhimfir
standt obeclear.I
twassel f
def
ence.

Backt
oNkany
ezi
.Idon'
tknowhowt
oexpl
ain
oursituati
on.Wehav ebeeni nawkward
sit
uat i
onswher ewenearlykissedbutIst
opped
my self
.IdontknowhowIf eelNayeheisbusy
confusingmey azIdon'
tneedt hi
sinmylif
e.
Mitchell.
wellIwentonadat ewi t
hher
yesterday.IhadfunandIthinkbeingona
rel
ationshipwithherwil
ldomesomej usti
ce.
Shei salesbianandIthi
nkI '
m alesbi
ansowe
fi
tper f
ectly
.

Idri
vehome.It
salr
eadylat
e.I
tsdar
k.Iparkmy
carandgeti
nsidet
hehouse.Mydoorisnot
l
ockedbutIknowIlockedwhenIl
eft
.
Igeti
nsl
owl
y

"
Whoi
sher
e"Ishout

Si
l
ence
"ToobadforyouI'
m aki
ll
er.I
'
m gonnabe
Satan'
sPAandaf ri
endofmine.nkany
eziheis
Satan'
sri
ghthandmantrustyoudontwantto
messwi t
hus"Ishout

"
I'
mv er
ygoodatsquashingt
hings.Isquashed
aspi
derthi
smor ni
ngtr
ustmeI '
l
lsquashy ou
t
oo."Ishoutagai
n.Tr
uthisI
'
mr eall
yscared.

"
GetoutnowIhav
eaguni
nmyhand"Ishout

"
Okaycomeonnowcomeouty
ou'
rer
eal
l
y
f
reaki
ngmeout
"Isay

Thent
her
eisl
aught
er.Fucki
tst
hisdi
ckhead.
"
Nkany
ezi
whatt
hef
uck"Isay

Heli
ghtsthehouseandconti
nuesl
aughi
ng.He
i
slaughi
nglikeacrazyper
son.

"
Q.Qinisi
wey ouar
ecr
azyIt
ell
you.
"Hesay
s
whi
l
el aughi
ng.

If
oldmyar
ms

"
Arey
ouangr
y"heasksandcont
inuesl
aughi
ng.

Hecomescl
osert
omeandat
tacksmewi
tha
hug.

"Imissedyoumycrazyperson"hesays.Ihug
him back.Hesmel
l
ssoni ce.Hisbodyis
amazi
ngIthi
nkheworksout.Beingi
n
Nkany
ezi
'
sarmsisref
reshi
ngy az.

"OkaymissLesbi
anpl
easel
etmegonowIcan'
t
breat
he"hesays

Il
augh.Idi
dn'
tnot
iceIwashol
dinghi
mti
ght
.
LedByl
ove

I
nser
t54

QI
NISI
WE'
SPERSPECTI
VE

"OkaymissLesbi
anpl
easel
etmegonowIcan'
t
breat
he"hesays
Il
augh.Idi
dn'
tnot
iceIwashol
dinghi
mti
ght
.

Heholdsmywai st.Hi
sperfumeissomething
el
se.Idon'tknowwhatI'
mf eel
i
ngbuttheway
heislookingatmeismakingmehav e
butt
erfl
ies.Hebri
ngshi
sfaceclosert
omi ne.
Hisbreath.MmmhMi nty
.

"
Iwantt
oki
ssy
ou"hesay
sinal
mostawhi
sper
.

"
What
'sst
oppi
ngy
ou"Isay
.

Okaywhydi
dIsaythat
.Hei
smyf ri
end.Ohmy
godwhyam Ibei
ngabit
chr
ightnow.

Ourli
pstouch.Hi
sphonerings.Ipul
loutoft
he
ki
ss.Fuckwhoeverthati
s.Yaz.
Helooksatmeandt
hent
akeshi
sphoneand
pi
cksitup.

Itakemybagandmakemywayt omyr oom

wher eIstr
ipnakedandt henjumpintheshower.
Ilockedthedoor.Ican'tr
iskaythi
ngbecausei
f
thismanget sintheroom Iwon'tbetheoneat
faultwhenIjumponhi m.

I
'm si
ngi
ngJoyousCelebr
ati
on'
sUy
alal
elwa
whenIhearaknock.

"
Qwhyi
sitl
ockedher
e"heshout
s

"
AiboI
'
m bat
hingwhat
'
syourpr
obl
em"
"
Openup"

"
Udaki
we(y
ou'
redr
unk)
"Ishoutback

Ihearhim cl
i
ckinghistongueIl
aughathim.I
fi
nishshoweringandgetoutwrappedinatowel
.
Hei ssi
tt
ingont hebedbusyonhisphone.

Ilookathi
m.Idon'
tthi
nkhehasseent
hatI
'
min
theroom

Iclearmyt
hroat
.Hel
ooksatmeandt hengoes
downmyt hi
ghsanddoesn'
ttakehi
seyesoff
them

"Nkanyezi
iwantt
ogetdr
essedpl
easegetout
"
Iplead.
"
Aiboam Ist
oppi
ngy
ou"hesay
s

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"Qi
nisiweit
snotli
keIhaven'
tseeny ounaked
bef
or edropthatt
owelandgetdressed"

"
No"

Ifol
dmyar msandl ookathim.Hestandsup
andcomest owar dsme.Itakeastepback
wheneverhet akesastepforwardandnowmy
backispressedt othewall
.

"Doyouwantmetohelpyouwi
tht
het
owel
"he
says.Hi
svoi
cei
shoarse.
It
satsunamidownthereandwor
seI
'
m not
evenweari
nganypanti
es.

"
I.
.Dontneedhel
p"

"
Reall
y"hereveal
sthatperf
ectsmil
eofhi
s.
Nkanyezi
ishandsomekodwa.Wi t
hhiswhi
te
t
eeth.Darkski
n.Tal
lself
.

Het
ouchesmyl
eftt
high.Sor
tofbr
ushi
ngi
t.

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Mmmh"

Hegoesf
ormyneckandst
art
ski
ssi
ngme
sl
owl
y.
"
Mmmhnkan…Ny
ezi
"Isay
.

Hecomesbackt
omyf
aceandl
ooksatme.
Ilookathi
mt oobutthenIbecomeshyand
thenlookdown.her
aisesmyf acewi
thhi
s
fi
ngerandlooksatme.

Hi
shandisbackonmyt highbrushi
ngitmaki
ng
meextr
ahorny.Hishandgoesupmyt hight
il
li
t
r
eachesmyvagina.Hetouchesitsl
owl
yplayi
ng
wi
thmycli
torus.I
'
m amoani ngmess.

"
MmmhNkany
ezi
"

"Sowet"hesay
s.Justl
i
keIsai
d.I
tsat
sunami
downthere.
Ican'
thel
pthemoanst hatescapemymouthas
hepushesafingeri
nsi
deme.Ihol dhi
m asaI
l
etoutascream.

"
Nkany
ezi
"

"
Mmh"

Heislooki
ngatmeintheeyeasheisfi
ngeri
ng
me.I'
m bit
ingmyli
pandallandhehasafucken
smi
leplaster
edonhisf
uckenface.

Hest
opsfingeringandt
akeshi
sfi
ngeroutof
meandthenlicksit
.

"
Whydi
dyoust
op"Isay
.Tear
sthr
eat
eni
ngt
o
comeout
.Iwassocl
oset
oreachi
ngmyheav
en.

"
Idontwantt
orui
nourf
ri
endshi
p"hesay
s

"
You'
renot
"Isayf
ast

"
OkaybutIneedy
ourper
missi
on"

Inod

"
Ineedwor
dsQi
nisi
we"hesay
s

"
Iwanty
ounow"Isay
Hesmil
esandpicksmeup.Heput
smeont
op
oft
hebedfaci
ngup.
Heremovesthetowel.Hecomestomyf ace
andst
art
skissi
ngmyl i
psslowl
ybutenought o
makemyv agi
nay earnforhi
m.Hestarts
ki
ssi
ngmynecksl owlybiti
ngme.I
'm gonna
wakeupwithhi
ckey s.
I
'm amoani ngmess.Hiski
ssesmakemewant
him evenmore.Hegoestomyboobs.Mybi g
boobs.Trut
hbet ol
dIhatemyboobs.Icov
er
them asheisbusysucki
ngonthem.
Hecomest
omYf
ace.

"What'
swr ong"heaskswi
thaconcer
nedl
ook
onhisface.

"
Not
hingcar
ryon"
.

"Tel
lmewhat
'swr
ongorI
'
m notgonna
conti
nue"
"I
'
mj ustnotcomfor
tabl
ewi
thy
ouki
ssi
ngmy
boobsthat'
sall
"

Hef
rowns

"
Qini
si
wey ouhavetostopbei
ngi
nsecur
eabout
y
ourbodywheny ou'
rewit
hme.Il
oveyouand
t
heseboobies.
"Hesays

Hekissesmeandthengoesbacktomybreast
s.
Ther
ei snost
oppi
ngthi
sone.Healwaysdoes
whathewants.Hegoesdowntomyt ummy
andthentomycooki
e.HALLELUJAH!!
!

Heputsbot
hmyl egsonhisshoul
dersandthen
st
art
sfeast
ingonme.Hi st
ongueslowlygoi
ng
upanddownmycl i
t.Themoansinthisroom
areoutofthi
swor l
d.Ihavemyhandsonhi s
headpushinghim deeperanddeeperi nsideof
me.Ifeelsomethi
nggoi nginsidemeIl ook
downi t
shisfi
ngerbuthei sstil
ll
ickingme.I
donthavecontr
olofmybodybuthehasf ul
l
contr
ol.If
eelmybodybui ldingupandbef oreI
knowitIrel
easeallmyjuicesbuthest i
lleats
mecleaningandthencomesbackt omyf ace
andkissesmemaki ngmet astemy self
.

Myeyesarecl
osed.Ifeelsomethi
ngt
ryi
ngto
ent
erme.Iopenmyey es.Whendidheundr
ess
hi
mself
.Aisurpr
isesItel
lyou.
"
Nkany
ezi
acondom"

"Idonthav
eit
.You?
"Heasks.Idonthav
eany
condoms.
"Whatt
ypeofguydoesn'
thav
eacondom"I
asks

"
Aloy
alguy
."

Igi
ggl
e

"I
'
m cleanandIknowyouar
etoo?
"Hesay
sand
Inod.Heconti
nues.

Hi
speni
sdoesn'
twantt
ogeti
nsi
deme.He
t
ryi
ngt
opushiti
nbutkeal
i
vumi.

"
Nkany
ezi
ali
vumi
"Isay

Hegi
ggl
es.
"
Dontworr
y"hesaysandinthatmomentIf
eel
mypussywall
sexpandi
ng,heisi
n.

"
Fuck"hecur
ses.

Hestart
smov ingsl
owl
y.Ver
ysl
owl
ybut
enoughtomakememoanhi snameand
scrat
chhisback.

Heincr
easeshispace.Andstar
tsfucki
ngme
l
ikeacrazyperson.I
'
m amoaningfuckenmess.
Heisbreat
hingheavil
yandI
'm moaninghar
d.

Myteet
hfindcomf
ortonhisshoul
der
sasI '
m
bi
ti
nghim.IhopeI
'
m nothurt
inghi
m butIcan'
t
hel
pit
.
"
You'
rebi
ti
ngmebabe"hesay
s

"
Sor
ry"

"
It
sokay
"

Andorgasm hi
tsmebutt
heni
ggacont
inues
fucki
ngme.

"
Mmmj
hh…Fuv
k…FuckNka.
"Imoan
ThatPhaxaPhaxasoundi
sal
lIcanhearashi
s
di
ckmov esi
nandoutofme

Hegoesext
remelyfastandt
hencol
l
apseson
t
opofmecur si
ng.
"
FUCK"

Hest
aysi
nthatposi
ti
onf
orami
nut
e

"
Nkany
ezi
you'
reheav
y"

Hegi
ggl
esandt
henget
sof
fme.
Hel
ooksatme

"
Hi"

Igi
ggl
e

"
Hey
"
Hewi
pesmyf
orehead.Isweatmyni
gga.
"
Doy
ouwantt
otakeashoweragai
n"heasks

"
Idontt
hinkIcanwal
k"

Hegiggl
esandt henpicksmeupandwebot h
geti
ntheshower .Thewaterhi
tt
ingourbodi
es
andI'
mt r
yingsohar dtost
opthesmilet
hat
wantstoexposeitself
.

Hecomesclosert
omeandhol
dsmywai
st
f
rom t
heback.

"
Ilov
eyou"hesay
s

Icanfeel
hispeni
stouchi
ngmyboot
y.Hei
s
hardagai
n.
Her
ubshi
speni
sonmyass.

"
Nkany
ezi
im sor
e"Isay

"
I'
ll
begent
le"hesay
s

Wehaveanothersessionintheshowerand
aft
ert
hatwedryourselves.Iwearapantyanda
pyj
amatopandhei sjustnaked.Wegetinbed
andbef
oreIknowithei salr
eadysnori
ng.

Ican'tsl
eep.Okaywhatj usthappened.Wow
thatwasamazi ng.IguessI'm notl
esbian
becausethissessioni j
usthadwi t
hNkany ezi
j
ustmademet obeobsessedwi t
hdick.Wow.
Sot hesearet
het hingsheusedt odotome
whenwewer edating.NkanyeziisarealG.
Ilookathi m.Hei scutewhenhei ssl eeping.
What shappeni ngbet weenus?Idontknow
whatIf eel.Ijustthi
nkIhav et heHer o
syndrome.Theher osyndromei swhen
someonecomesi ntoyourlifeandt heyhelpyou
withal otofshi tandtheny ouf all
f orthem.Its
notwr ongi fIhav ealr
eadyf allenf orhim.I '
m
singleandIt hinkhei sal
sosi nglesowhyt he
hellnot.IfI'
m gonnabeget tingsuchdi cki
ng
thenI'm downf oranythi
ng.Ai letmesl eepI'
m
ti
redandbesi desIhav ealongdayaheadofme
tomor r
ow.

Ohbefor
eIsl
eepIwanttot
elly
out
his.
Happi
nessi
safourl
ett
erword.

DICK…
LedByLov
e
I
nser
t55

QI
NISI
WE'
SPOV

Heishol
dingmetooti
ght.I
'
m evensweati
ng.I
tr
ytorel
easemysel
ffr
om hishol
dbutheopens
hi
seyeslooki
ngatme.Il
ootathimtoo.He
smil
es.

"
Goodmor
ning"hesay
s

"
Mor
ning"

Het
ri
est
oki
ssmebutIcov
ermymout
h
"
Mor
ningbr
eat
h"

Heremov
esmyhandsf
rom mymout
hand
ki
ssesmest
il
l.

"
Ilov
emor
ningbr
eat
h"hesay
sandIgi
ggl
e.

"
Pleasel
etmegoIwantt
oshowersoIcan
makebreakf
ast
"

"
Ohpl
easedo.I
'
m st
arv
ing"

Hel et
'smegoandIr untothebathroom and
brushmyt eet
handt henj umpintheshower
anddomybusi ness.I'
m doneininacoupleof
minutesandthenIdr ymybodyandl ot
ion.I
wearashor tf
lowingjumpsuit.I
tsprett
yhotand
I
'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
esowhynot
.

Heissl
eepingagai
n.Igotothekit
chenand
st
artwit
hbreakf
ast.Nothi
ngmajorjust
Bacon,
eggsandtoast.I
'
m pret
tyt
iredal
soand
mycookiei
ssore.

IGotothebedr
oom andwakehim up.Heget
s
i
ntheshowerandIgobacktothekit
chen.

Whatar ewedoi ng?Wear esupposedtobe

fri
ends.Imeanf rom whatIhaveheardthisguy
real
lyhurtmei nthepastandher eIam opening
myhear tforhim.Idontknowi ft
hisisr
ightbut
I'
vealr
eadyf all
enforhim.Hehasbeent heref or
met hi
swhol etimeandI '
vebeenenjoyi
nghi s
company .IneverthoughtIwouldbeatapoi nt
whereIsayIl ovehim butIdo.Besi
desthefact
thatheisahandsomehumanbei ngheisalsoa
v
eryni
ceandcar
ingper
son.

MaybeIshoul
dgivethi
sashot .Hehasbeen
t
ell
i
ngmehel ovesmesi ncedayoneandIthi
nk
l
ovi
nghimt ooisnotasin.

Ifeelar
msaroundmywai standakissonmy
neck.Hest
artssuckingmyneckslowly
.Itf
eel
s
sogood.MyCl i
tisdanci
ngagain.

"Ar
eyouhungryhereissomef ood"Isay
pushi
nghim offme.Thelastt
hingIwantist
o
getmoredi
cking.Ngekemyv aginawon'
tbe
abl
etohandlethat
.

Hechuckl
es
Hehasatowel wr
appedar
oundhim.Helooks
good.Hi
sabs.Hisdar
kski
n.Heisjustaper
fect
humanbeing.

"
You'
rest
arr
ing"hesay
s

Ismi
l
eandhesi
tsdown

"
I'
m sor
ry"
Isay

"dontwor
ryIunder
stand.Iwoul
dst
areatme
tooi
fIwasyou"hesays

"
Ohpl
ease"

Igi
vehim hi
spl
ateandhedi
gsi
n.It
akemi
ne
andeattoo.
Ikeepsteal
i
ngglancesandev
eryt
imehe
catchesmeIlookdown.

"
Doy
ouhav
esomet
hingt
osay
"hesay
s.

Ishakemyhead

Wecont
inueeat
ingagai
n.

"Ihadfunlastnight"hesayswit
hasmi
leonhi
s
face.Thi
sgor geousmani saboutt
omakeme
sitandri
dehisf aceyaz.

"
Met
oo"Isaysmi
l
ing
"
Sowhatdoest
hismeanf
orus"

Thanky
ouheaskedt
hat
.

"Idontknowwhatdoy
out
hinkt
hismeansf
or
us"Iask

"It
hinkweshoul
dgetbackt
oget
her
"hesay
s
andgoesbacktohi
sfood.

"
Getbackt
oget
hery
ousay
?"Isay

Hei
ssor
tofav
oidi
ngey
econt
actwi
thme.Hau.

"
Pleasel
ookatme"Isay
Hel
ooksatme.

"
NkanyeziIdontknowwhatI'mfeel
ingforyou.I
r
eall
ydontbutonet hi
ngIknowisthatIdont
wanttol
iv
emyl i
fewit
houtyouinit
.Whether
you'
remyfri
endorwear etoget
her"Isay

Hesmi
l
es

"
Real
l
y?"

Inod

"SoifIsayIwanty
oubacki
nmyl
i
fewoul
dyou
agree"hesays

Ismi
l
eandnod
"Doy oulov
emeQi ni
siweoryou'
rej
ust
dickmati
sed.Youobsessedwit
hmydickand
youthinkyoulov
eme"hesay sandIcan'
thel
p
butlaugh.

AsMuchasIl
ovet
hismanIal
sol
ovehi
sdi
ck.

"
Ofcour
senot
"Isayandcont
inuel
aughi
ng

"Whyareyoulaughi
ng"hesayswi
thasmi
l
eon
hisf
ace.Iconti
nuel
aughing.

"Nkanyezi
pleasestop.Dontmakemechoose
betweenyouandy ourpenisbecausey
ouknow
whoI '
l
lchoose"Isay
"
Me?
"

Il
augh

"
Wrong"

"
Ohwow.Youdoknowt
hatIcanst
arv
eyou
r
ight
?"Hesay
s

"ThenIwi
llgotoj
ailf
orrapebecauseyouwill
notstopmefrom get
ti
ngwhat'smine"Isayand
hefrowns

"
What
'sy
our
s?Ai
bot
hispeni
sismi
ne"hesay
s

"
Keept
ell
i
ngy
our
sel
fthat
"Isayandhel
aughs.
"
Okaynowlet
'
sbeser
ioussowear
eback
t
oget
her"

"
Ithi
nkso."Isay
.

"
Whyar
eyoubl
ushi
ng"heasks

"
I'
m nothau"

"Aii
fyousayso.
"Hesay
swhi
l
eshaki
nghi
sbi
g
head.

"
Youhav
eabi
ghead"
Isay

"
OhnowIhav
eabi
ghead.Youdi
dn'
tsayt
hat
whenthi
sbigheadwasinbet
weeny
ourt
highs
l
astni
ght"hesaysandIl
augh

"Phel
alastni
ghti
twasdoi
ngamazi
ngt
hings"I
say

"
Andnow?
"

"
Wellnowi
tsj
ustt
alki
ngshi
t"Isayandhe
l
aughs.

"
Imi
ssedy
ouy
az"hesay
s

Ismi
l
e

"
Whatdi
dyoumi
ssaboutme"Iask
"Ev
ery
thi
ngaboutyou.Yoursmil
e.Yourl
augh.
Yourl
amejokes.Ev
eryt
hing"hesays

"
Somyjokesar
elame?
"Iaskwi
thaser
ious
l
ookonmyface

"
AibobabedidIsayt
hat
?Imeanty
ourfunny
j
okes"hesay
sandIcanthel
pbutl
augh.

"Qi
nisi
we"hesay
s.OkayIguesswear
ebackt
o
bei
ngseri
ous.

"y
es"

"Doyouthi
nkyouwi
l
lev
ergety
ourmemor
y
back?"Heask
"
IdontknowNkany
ezi
.Iguesswewi
l
lhav
eto
wai
t.
"Isay.

Hesomehowl
ookssadnowandIhat
ethat
.

"Nkanyezi Ilostal
ltheti
mesweshar ed
toget
her .Ilostmymemor yandIthi
nki t
sgood
thi
ng.Wehav ebeent hr
oughalotsoIt hinkt
his
i
sourchancet ostartaf
reshandcreat enew
memor ies"Isayandhesmi l
esandst andsup
comingt omeandheat tacksnewithahug.

"
Ilov
eyou"hewhi
sper
sinmyear

"Il
oveyoutoomybi
ghead"Isayandheshakes
hishead.
Weki
ss.

…………………

NKANYEZI
'
SPOV

SomeandQi nisi
wehav ebeendat i
ngforabout
amont handIhav etosayi tsbeenthebest
mont hofmyl i
fe.I
'm happyandshei shappy
too.WellIt
hinkImakeherhappy .I
tsher
bir
thdayonWednesday .Thedayafter
tomorrowandIhav eaf ewideasofwhatt obuy
herbutI'
m notsure.

Wel
lsher
emember
sthatherf
avour
it
ecarisa
BMW X6soI
'mthi
nki
ngofbuyi
ngherthatcar
.
Soy ouremembert hatItookChr i
sHumf ry
's
moneysoI 'm gonnauset hatmoney .Shealso
want edt
obuildaant i-
depressi
oncent r
eso
may beI'
ll
gethert hatnotasabi rt
hdaypresent
thoughbutforsomet hingelsewhichIhavei n
mind.Donttellherplease.

Sori
ghtnowI'
m goi
ngtomeetupwit
hherboss
Ihav
eabusinesspr
oposal
forher
.

I
'm dri
vi
ngtot hebosseshouse.Shequit
worki
ngforMr sSmi t
handnowshei swor ki
ng
f
orMr sZulu.Ireal
l
ydontliket
hefactthatshe
worksforotherpeopleandmakesotherpeople
r
ich.Sheistoosmar tfort
hat.

Myphoner
ings,
Ipi
cki
tup.I
tsher
.
"
Ulaphi
(wher
ear
eyou)
"shesay
s

"
Aiboi
sthathowy
ougr
eety
ourel
der
s?"Isay

"
Nkany
ezi
I'
m ser
ious"shesay
s

"
I'
m dr
ivi
ngt
oapot
ent
ial
cli
ent
,what
'
sup?
"

"
Whenar
eyougonnacomeback"

"
Idontknowmay
bear
ound5.Why
?"Iaks

"Canyoupl
easebri
ngmesomeicecream,
oreosandpi
zzaandsomepai
nki
ll
ers"shesay
s
"
Arey
oust
il
lhav
ingper
iodpai
ns"

"
Yes"

"
OkayI
'
llbebacksoonj
ustgetsomesl
eep"

"
I'
ll
tryby
e"

"
Lov
eyou"

Shehangsup.Shemustber eal
l
ysick.I
venever
hadperi
odpainsi
nmylifebutfrom whatI
'
ve
seent
heyarehell
apai
nful.

…………
Thedooropensandi
tsanel
der
lywoman

"
MrsZul
u"

"
YoumustbeMrMt
het
hwa,
comei
n"

Shetel
lsmetositdownandIdo.Shegiv
esme
aglassofwat
erandwegetdownt obusi
ness.

"
Soyouwantmet
osel
lyoumyaccount
ing
f
ir
m"shesays

Ismi
l
e.

"
Yes"
"
MayIaskwhy
"

"WellasyouknowI'
m dati
ngoneofy our
beautif
ulemploy
eesQini
siwe.Well
itsher
bir
thdayonWednesdaysandIjustwantto
surpri
seher"

"
Wit
hmyf
ir
m"

"Shelov
esworkingt
here.I
tsherli
tt
leheaven.
Mostofthecli
entsi
nyourbusinessarether
e
becauseofher
".

Shesmi
l
esshaki
ngherhead.

"MrMthethwawhydonty
ouj
usthel
pherst
art
herowncompany"
"
Ijustwanty
ourf
ir
m Mr
sZul
u"

"
It
smyl
egacy
"

"I
'
m notverygoodwhenitcomestobegging
butIj
ustreal
lywantt
hisfi
rmforQini
siwe.Ij
ust
wanthertobehappyandbuyingherthi
sfir
m
wil
lmakeherhappy"

"
Idontknow"shesay
s

"
6mi
l
li
on"

Shel
ooksatme.
"Idon'
tthi
nkyouhavemadethatamountof
moneybef or
eandIfeell
i
keQi ni
siwewil
lmake
thatmoneyintwotear
sifyougiveherthi
sfi
rm.
Selli
ttome.Icanevengiveyou7mi l
l
ion"

"
That
'sal
otofmoney
"

"
Enought
ohel
pyoust
artanot
hercompany
"

Shenods.

"
Okay
"

"
Youagr
ee?
"

Shenods
"I
'
llcal
lmyl
awy
erandwewi
l
lkeepi
ntouch"she
says

Ican'
thel
pitIgi
veheraf
uckenhug.I
'
m so
happy.

"ButPleasedontment ionmyname.Justsay
you'releavingandy ouwanthertobeCEO.
Transferev er y
thi
ngtohernameandi fsheasks
quest i
onsj ustsaythatyoufeel
li
kethe
businessi snotmaki ngenoughmoneyj ust
makesomet hi
ngupbutdontletherknowt hat
I
'mi nvolved.Justsayt haty
ouseepot ent
iali
n
her.Justmakeupagoodl i
ebutdontment i
on
mynamepl ease.
"Isay

"
Iunder
stand.Shei
sver
yluckyt
ohav
eyoui
n
herl
i
fe"

"
NoI
'
mthel
uckyone"Isay

Ileavewit
hahappyheart
.Ican'twai
tforher
birt
hday.I
'
m gonnagoshoppingfortheX6
tomorrowandthenMrsZuluwillt
ell
herthe
newsonWednesday s.

*Nkanyezi
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback,
im dy
ing
here*

*
stopwi
tht
hedr
amaI
'
m comi
ng*
Isendt
het
ext
LedByLov
e

I
nser
t56
QI
NISI
WE'
SPOV

Doy ouknowt hatawkwar dmomentwheny ou

haveyoureyescl osedbuty ouknowt hat
someonehast heireyesony ou?Wel lthat'
smy
curr
entsit
uati
onr i
ghtnow.Idontknowi fI
shouldwakeuporcont inuesleepingbutone
thi
ngIknowi st hatI'
m highkeyinsecure.

IfeelLikeheseesmyf l
awsandwi l
lreal
isej
ust
howmuchIdontdeser vetobewi t
hhim.
Somet imesIfeelli
kethat.WheneverI'
m wit
h
hi
m If eelsmall
er,t
hat'swhyIdontli
kebeing
outdoor swit
hhim.Hedoesn' tknowthis
becauseIdontwantt ohurthi
m butI
somet imesfeell
ikethat.Feell
i
keI'
mt oo
i
mper fectforhi
m.
Iopenmyeyesandt
heymeethi
s.Hesmi
l
es
andIsmi
let
oo.

"
Happybi
rt
hday
"

Ohi
tsmybi
rt
hdaykonj
e.

Igetupandheat
tacksmewi
thahug.

"
Thanky
ouNy
ezi
"

Wepul
loutoft
hehug.

"
Takeashower
,Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou"

Heget
soutoft
her
oom andImaket
hebedand
t
henj
umpi
ntheshower
.

Thewat eral
way shasawayofcal mingme.
Especial
lywhent hewateri
scold.Il
etitfallon
meandwashawaymysadness.Ican' tbelieve
I'
m 25.IneverthoughtIwouldmakeittot his
agebutlookatgod.Imaynotbet hehappi est
persononearthbutI'm gl
adtohavepeopl ewho
l
ov emeandt eachnehowt olov
emy selfeven
thoughitshardsometimes.

IhaveThobi,
Zinzi
,
Nkany
ezi,
hisbr ot
her
s,Mam
Sizakhel
eandGod.I'
mtr
ulyblessed.

If
eel
armsar
oundme.
"
Whyar
eyoucr
ying"

OhIdi
dn'
tev
ennot
icet
hatIwascr
ying.It
ouch
mycheeksandy
epI
'
m cr
ying.

"
It
snot
hingser
ious"

"
Tal
ktome"hesay
swhi
l
eki
ssi
ngmyneck

"
I'
mjusthappy
.Inevert
houghtIwoul
dreach
t
hisagenj
ethat'
sit
"

Thi
sposit
ionwear
einispr
ett
yuncomf
ort
abl
e.
Fi
rst
lyI
'
m onmyperiod.

"Arey
ouuncomf ort
abl
e?"Heasks.Itst
il
l
amazesmetil
lthisdayhowthi
sniggaisabl
eto
readmymind.

Inodandhegi
ggl
es.
"CanIaskaquest
ion?
"Hesay
swi
thanaught
y
smil
eonhisface.

"
Ihopei
tsnotsomet
hingst
upi
d"Isay

Heshakeshi
shead

"Whydontwehav
esexwhenyou'
reonyour
per
iod"hesay
swit
hhi
sbrowsrai
sed.

Idontev
enknowhowt
oanswerhi
m.

"Uhmm itsnotcomfort
able.Nj
eit
sjustnast
y
canwepl easestopt
alki
ngaboutthi
s"Isayand
helaughs.
Wecarryonshower
ingwit
houtt
ouchi
ngeach
ot
herandthenwegetoutanddr
yourbodi
es.

It
akeoutmyt
amponandputi
ton.Hei
s
l
ooki
ngatme.

"
Whati
sthat
?"Hesay
s

Ir
oll
myey
es

"
Atampon"

"
Forwhat
?"

Sot
hismanhasnev
erseenat
ampon
"
AiboNkany
ezi
I'
m onmyper
iod"Isayl
aughi
ng.

"Qi
nisiwesometimesyouli
ketocomplicate
thi
ngs.Whydonty ouuseapadlikenormal
people.Whati
fthatst
ickgetsst
uckinsideyou"
hesay sal
lser
ious.

Il
ookathim andIcan'
thel
pbutl
augh.Thi
s
maniscrazy
.

Iwearashortwhi
tel
acydr
ess(
fl
owi
ng)and
gol
dsandals.

Hewearsablackt
ornj
eanandaTshir
tand
ki
cks.Thej
eanismaki
nghi
ml ookext
rat
ummy

"
Ithi
nkt
hatdr
essi
stooshor
t"hesay
s.Ir
oll
my
ey
es.Ev
ery
thi
ngIhav
eisshor
t.

"
Thatj
eanmakesy
oul
ooksexy"Isay

"
Qini
si
weI
'
m ser
ious"

Igot
ohi
m andputmyhandsar
oundhi
swai
st.

"Nkany
eziIhav
eatightunder
neat
hsoy oucan'
t
seeanythi
ngpl
easedontmakemet akeitof
f"

Her
oll
shi
sey
es.

"
Didy
ouj
ustr
oll
yourey
esatme"Isay

"
Ilear
ntf
rom t
hebest
"hesay
s
Hepi
cksmeup.Iwr
apmyl
egsar
oundhi
s
wai
st.

"
Happybi
rt
hdaymaMt
het
hwa"hesay
s

"
MaWhat
?"

"
Mthet
hway
ouhear
dmegi
rl
"hesay
s

Il
augh

"
Keepdr
eami
ng"

"
Haudonty
out
hinkweshoul
dgetmar
ri
ed"
"
AiboNkany
ezi
let
'snotr
ush"

"I
'
m getti
ngoldandIneedt
ostartafami
l
y
comet othi
nkofity
oushoul
dstopthe
i
nject
ion"

"Nkany
eziwherei
sthi
scomingfrom It
hought
weagreedthatweshoul
dwaitbefor
ehavi
nga
baby"

"
Wel
lwedi
dbutIchangedmymi
nd"

"
Pleaseputmedown"Isay

"I
'
m notfi
ght
ing.Okaylet
'sjustr
elaxand
cel
ebrat
eyourbir
thdaywithoutanydrama
okay"
Inodandki
sshi
m.Heput
smedown.

Wel
ookatt
hemi
rr
or.

"Iwonderwhoourki
dswoul
dhav
elookedl
i
ke"I
say

Heclencheshisjaws.Heal
waysbecomes
angr
ywhenev erIbri
ngupthet
wins.

"Idotoobutt
henIst
opmy
sel
fbecausei
tjust
painsme"

Iputmyheadonhi
schest
"
Idontbl
amey
ouy
az"

"That
'sbecausey
oudon'tr
ememberany
thi
ng.
Looklet
'sgodownst
air
s"

Hegivesmehi shandandItakeit
.Wego
downstai
rshandinhand.Therear
eroses
ever
ywhere.Redroses.Myfav.

"
Nkany
ezi
"Isay

H.
E.Ri
spl
ayi
ng.I
tlookssocut
e.

Hepull
smyhandandwegooutsi
de.Ther
eare
r
osesonthedr
iveway
.WegobythePooland
t
herei
satabl
eandallmyf
avor
it
epeepsare
t
here.
Thepoolal
sohasr
edr
oses.Whyam Ibei
ng
emoti
onalnow.

Theyseeusandt heyallstandup.Wegot o
them.Thehugs, thekisses,thebirt
hday
wishes,t
hepr esentsigetthem all.Ther ei
sfood
andev eryt
hing.Myt earshav ebeenf all
ing
uncotrol
labl
ybutkei v
emangedt ostop
them.Thenoutofnowher eIseev usi Nova.The
musicst ar
tsplaying.Myhear ti
sdanci ngbut
myt earsarefall
ingagai n.

"
Nkany
ezi
"

VusiNovasingsall
myfavouri
tesongsandmy
tear
saredoingthemost.Thankthel
ordmy
peri
odpainsarenotoncall
todaysoI'
m happy
.
….
.

Conversat
ionsweref
lowi
ng.IwashappyandI
enjoy
edev er
yone'
scompany.Ever
yonehasl ef
t
i
tsjustmeandmyboo.Wel lheisintheshower.
Thetimeis16:39andtobehonestImiss
every
one.Theyshoul
dhavesleptoveryaz.

Myphonei sri
ngi
ngbutIcan'tfi
ndit
.It
event
uall
ystopsbutitr
ingsagai
n.Ifi
nall
yfi
nd
underthepil
l
owont hecouchandIpickitup.

"
Mam"

I
tsmyboss.Mr
sZul
u
"
HiQi
nisi
weandHappybi
rt
hday
"

"
Thanky
ou.
"

"
Uhm canyoupl
easecometotheoff
icef
orj
ust
afewminut
esit
sreal
l
yimport
ant"

Fuckt
hiswomanI
'
m of
ftoday

"
OkayI
llbet
her
enownow"

"
Thanky
ou"

Ihangup.Nxy
azIwaspl
anni
ngonchi
l
li
ng.

Igoupst
air
stoNkany
ezi
.Hei
sont
hephone
Hehangsup.

"
Ihav
etogot
otheof
fi
ce"

"
Ithoughty
ouwer
eof
f"

"
Iam butMr
sZul
usay
sit
sur
gent
"

Henods

"
Aren'
tyougonnat
akeme"

"
Aiboy
oucandr
ivenj
e"hesay
s

Nx
"
What
ever
"

It
aket
hecarKey
s.

"
I'
mtaki
ngt
heX6Ihopey
ouwon'
tneedi
t"

Heshakeshi
sheadandr
est
sont
hebed.

……….

I
'vej
ustar
riv
edandI'
m si
tti
ngonthechai
rin
herof
fi
ce.Shegi
vesmeagl assofwat
erandI
DRIkit
.TobehonestI
'm scar
ed.

"Canyoupleaser
elaxQi
nisi
we"shesay
sandI
breat
heinandout.Shegi
ggles.
"Okayt
hereasonIcal
l
edyouher
ebecauseI
havebadnewsandgoodnews.Whi
chonesdo
youwantfi
rst
"

"
Thebad"

"
Okayt
hebadnewsi
sI'
mleav
ingt
hecompany
"

SoI
'
mlosi
ngmyjob.Wowj
ustwhenI
'
vef
ound
myownl
it
tl
eheav
en
"
Whymam"

"If
eell
iket
hecompanyi
snotmaki
ngme
enoughmoney"

"
Butmam t
hef
ir
m hasbeenmaki
ngusal
otof
money
"

"
NoQi
nisi
we"

If
eel
li
kecr
ying.

"
Doy
ouwantt
hegoodnews?
"Inod

"
I'
m gi
vi
ngy
out
hef
ir
m"shesay
s

Ican'
tbel
iev
ewhatI
'm hear
ing.I
'
m happybut
thi
sisal
ltoonewt
ome.

"
Whatdoy
oumean"

"
I'
m gi
vi
ngy
ouev
ery
thi
ng.I
'
mleav
ingev
ery
thi
ng
i
nyourname"

Shegi
vesmeanenv
elope.

"Readi
tandsi
gn,
IwantananswerbyFr
iday
"
shesays

………….
.

Iopent
hegateanddr
ivei
n.Ipar
kandr
un
i
nsidet
hehouse.

"
NKANYEZI
"Ishout
.

Ir
unupstai
rs.Heisst
il
lnotdr
essedj
ust
wrappedi
nat owel
.
"Sheisgivi
ngitt
ome.…shesay
sshesses
potenti
al….
sheisgi
vi
ngitt
ome…Nkanyezi
I'
m
sohappy "

"
Idontunder
standawor
dyou'
resay
ing"

Iat
tackhi
m wi
thahug.

"
SHei
sgi
vi
ngmet
heCompanyNkany
ezi
"

I
'm cr
yingnow.Agai
nhepi
cksmeupandspi
ns
mearound.

"
Putmedown"
Isayl
aughi
ng.

"
I'
m sopr
oudofy
ouMyl
ove"

"
Thanky
ouf
orbel
i
evi
ngi
nme"

Weki
ss.

"
Takeabat
hIhav
eonel
astsur
pri
sef
ory
ou"

Il
ookathi
m.
Hesmi
l
es.

IdoasI
'
mtol
d.

I
m al
lcl
eanedup.Igetoutoft
hebat
hroom and
got
oThebedr
oom.

Thereisadr
essontopofthebed.I
tsso
beauti
ful
andther
eisapaperonit
.Itakei
t.

*
wearme*

Ismi
l
e.

Il
oti
onandall
.Idomymakeup.Itakethedress
andweari
t.I
tsaf i
gur
ehuggi
ngredlongdress.
It
sreal
l
ybeautif
ul.

Iti
emyweav ei
ntoacl
eanbunandspr
aysome
col
ogne.I
'
m doneandtheni
lookatmy
sel
f.
WowIlookreal
l
ygood.
Igodownst
air
sandthereheis.I
nabl
acksui
t.
Damnmyniggalooksgood.Hehasaroseon
hi
shand.
Thel
ookhei
sgi
vi
ngmei
smaki
ngmeshy
.

"
Myl
ady
"
Hegivesmether
oseandt
hengi
vesmehi
s
handandIt
akeit
.

SoIguesswehav eadriv
ertoday.Nkanyezi
opensthedoorf
ormeandt henf orhimsel
f.We
arebot
hinthebackseatandourdr i
verst
arts
thecar
.I'
m sohappy.Nkanyezi
isdoingthe
mostngeke.

……….
.
Thesetupisbreat
htaking.Therear
eroses
every
where.Ourtableisoutsi
desowear e
l
ookingatthestars.It
sjustmeandhi m.I
guesshebookedt hiswholeplacebecausei
ts
onlyhim andihere.

"
It
ssobeaut
if
ulNkany
ezi
"

"
I'
m gl
ady
oul
i
kei
t"

Il
ookdown.IdontknowwhyI
'
m shybutIj
ust
am

"
Arey
oushy
?"

Ther
ehegoesagai
n.Readi
ngmymi
nd.
Ishakemyhead.Hel
ooksscar
ed.

"
Arey
ouscar
ed?
"Iask

Henods

"
Why
?"

"
Youscar
eme"hesay
s

Il
augh

"
Youar
ecr
azybaby
"Isay

Wegetfoodandweeatwhi
l
echatt
ing.I
'
m
hav
ingf
unandIthi
nkheist
oo.Nophones
nothi
ngj
ustenj
oy i
ngeachot
her
scompany.He
l
ooksathi
swat chagai
n.Hehasbeendoi
ng
thatt
hewholenight
.

"What
'supy
ouhav
ebeenl
ooki
ngatt
het
ime
si
ncewecameher
e"

"
I'
mjustwai
ti
ngf
ort
her
ightmoment
"

"
Forwhat
"

"
Tosaysomet
hingt
oyou"

"
Saywhat
"

"
ThatIl
ovey
ou?
"Hesay
s
Ismi
l
eBl
ushi
ng.

"
Lookaty
oubl
ushi
ng.Ngy
akt
handay
azi
.(
Ilov
e
y
ou)"

"
Ilov
eyout
ooNkany
ezi
"Isay

"Yazingiyindodayomzulu.Angi kaze
ngicabangeukut hikuyof
ikai sikhathilapho
ngikthengelaamaf lower.Ngi gqokeamasudi
siyekwamadat e.Lezizi
nt ongi zi
gcinakwi TV
kodwabukamanj eiminalo.Angy enaumunt u
okhulumakakhul ukodwamengasekut hiwe
angishoukut hii
ndabangi kuthandahl ampe
kungaphel ausukulonkengi shoukut hiindaba
ngikuthanda.Ngobazi ni
ngi i
zi zathu.
Ngy akthandaandHappybi rthdayQi nisiwe.(You
knowI'm aZul uman.Inev ert
houghtt here
wouldcomeat i
mewher eIbuyy ouf l
ower sand
wearsuitsandgoondat es.Iusedtoseet hose
thi
ngshappenonTVbutl ookI'
m alsodoi ngit.
I'
m notaper sonwhot al
kst omuchbuti f
someonewoul daskmewhyIl ovey ousomuch
I'
m sureIwoul dspendt hewhol edayt el
li
nghi m
all
thereasonsofwhyIl ov eyou.Il
ov eyouand
HappybirthdayQi ni
siwe)"hesay s

I
'
mint
ear
sri
ghtnow.

"
Wi pethoset
earsbecauseIknowhowdramat
ic
y
ouar e.Youwil
lst
artrol
li
ngyoursel
font
he
f
loorhhayiman"hesaysandIlaugh.

Il
ovet
hisf
unnycr
azymanofmi
ney
az.
Heget
supfrom hi
schairandcomestomeand
t
akesmyhand.Heleadsmeout si
de.

"
Thi
sisy
ourl
astpr
esent
"

Hehashi
shandscov
eri
ngmyey
es.

"
Arey
our
eady
"

Inod

Her
emov
eshi
shandsandIcan'
tbel
i
evei
t.

"
NoNkany
ezi
"

"
Yesmyl
ove"
Ishakemyheadandhekeepsonnoddi
ng

"
It
syour
s"

Iscr
eam andruntoi
t.I
'
mjumpi
ngupanddown.
FuckI'
m sohappy
.

"
NKANYEZI
"
ISCREAM

Ir
untohi
m andat
tackhi
m wi
thahugandhe
pi
cksmeup.
Iputmyli
psonhi
sandmyt
onguei
nsi
dehi
s
mouth.
"
Thanky
ou"

"
Mor
eisont
heway
"

Idontknowwhatt
hatmeanssoIcont
inue
ki
ssinghim

"
Takemef
oraspi
n"hesay
s

Ican'
tbeil
iv
eNkanyezi
boughtmeaBMW X6.
It
sblack.Myfav
ori
tecolour
.

Igr
abt
hekey
sandopent
hecarandt
hei
nsi
de
i
sheav
en

Thei
nter
iori
sredl
eat
her
.
Wegeti n.Meint
hedr
ivi
ngseatandhi
m ont
he
passengers.
Ist
artt
hecarandi
tspeaks

"
Goodev
eni
ngmi
ssQi
nisi
wehav
easaf
edr
ive"

Iscr
eam andlookathi
m.Thel
ookonhi
sface
i
sunexpl
ainable.

Ist
artt
hecaranddr
ive.

"
Dri
vet
otheGoor
oll
ake"hesay
s

"
GOOROLLAKEI
TIS"Iscr
eam andhel
aughs.
Thedri
veisamazing.Wearebothr
appi
ngt
o
Drake'
sNonstop.I'
m sohappy
.

……….
.

Heopensthedoorf
ormeandt akesmyhand.
Thi
splacel
ookssopeacef
ulatnight
.

"
Whatifacr
ocodi
l
ecomesout
"Isayandhe
l
aughs

"Wewi l
lrunhauwhowant
stobeeatenbya
crocodi
le"hesay
sandwebothl
augh.

"
Thanky
ouNkany
ezi
"

"
It
smyj
ob"
.
Hegi
vesmeahug.Hi
shugsar
eal
way
sful
lof
l
oveandwar
mth.

"
Closeyoureyesanddon'
topent
hem unt
ilIt
ell
y
out o"hesay
s

Inod.I
'
velearntt
otr
usthi
m.IfhesaysIshoul
d
dosomethingI'
ll
doi
tbecauseheknowsbest.

Icl
osemyey
es.

Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.

"
Thisisthelastspeechmylove.TodayIspent
t
hewhol edaytryi
ngt omakeyouhappyandI
t
hinkIsucceeded.Nowi t
sti
mesf oryouto
makemehappy
"hesay
s

"
Ihopeyouwon'ttel
lmet
ohav
esexwi
thy
oui
n
t
helakeJesu"Isay

"
Shutup."

Igi
ggl
e

"Pl
easemakemehappybymar
ryi
ngme"he
says

Iopenmyey
es

"
Nkany
ezi
"
"
Closey
ourey
es"

"
Marri
ageisabi
gstepandhowdoy
ouknow
t
hatwereadyNkany
ezi
"

"
Closeyourey
esorel
seI'
l
lpi
cky
ouupand
t
hrowyouinthewat
er"

Icl
osemyey
es.

"IknowIwantt omar ryyou.Ithinkabouty ou

everysecond.WhenI '
m notcl oset oy ouIget
sickandwantt othrowup.I v
enev erbeena
spiri
tualpersonbutInowf i
ndmy selfkneeling
andpr ayingtogodt hatIendupmar ryingyou.
Tobespeci fi
cQIpr ayforyoumor et han
anything.Whenev erIlookintoy ourey esIsee
myhappi ness.Iseemyhappyendi ng.Inever
wantt ospendadaywi thouty ou.Iwantt o
sleepnexttoy ouev erynightandwakeupnext
toy ouandf uckyouagai n.Iwanty outobet he
onlywomant obet hemot herofmyki ds.Idont
wantt obuil
dahousewi thy oubutIwanta
homewi thyou.Il
ov eyoumor et hanany thing
andI '
lldoabsolut
elyany thingt omakey ou
happy .EvenwhenI '
m goi ngt othest oresI
alwayshav etobuyy ousomet hing.Ibuyy ou
padsandmakeupandt henpeopl egiveme
l
ooksIdontunder stand.Pr obabl ythi
nkingI '
m
gay .I
fonlytheyknew.Il ovey ouQ.Cany ou
pleasemakemet hehappi estmanbymar ryi
ng
me.Youcanopeny ourey es"

Iopent
hem andwi
pemyt
ear
s.

Hehasar i
ngi
nhi
shand.I
tsshi
ning.I
tsr
eal
l
y
beaut
if
ul.
"HauNkany
ez iy
oudontevengoononeknee"I
sayandhegigglesandt
hengoesononeknee.

"
Whatwasy
ourquest
ionagai
n?"Isay

"
Wil
lyoumar
ryme?
"Hesay
s

"
YES"

……
LedByLov
e

FI
NALEPar
tone

I
nser
t57
5Mont
hsLat
er

QI
NISI
WE'
SPOV

Ilookatmy selfi
nt hemi r
rorandf eelmyt ears
forming.I '
m sof at.Mynosey ohi
tssomet hing
else.Ihopei loseal l
thi sfatbeforetheweddi ng.
Speaki ngofmyweddi ngIt hi
nkplanningit
woul dber eallyeasyi fIwasn' tpregnant.Yep
I'
m pr egnantandI '
m al sov eryfat
.Nkany ezi
want edust ogetmar ri
edbutIr ef
used.Imean
howam Isupposedt or ockaweddi nggown
withsuchabel ly
.That 'swhywehav edecided
,mor el i
keconv i
ncedhi mt hatwegetmar ri
ed3
mont hsaf terIgivebi rth.Iknowi tsfarbutI'
mi n
nor ushv ele.
I'
m gonnagivebir
thandthenmakesur eIwork
hardtogetaflattummyandt henweget
marri
ed.Wear etalki
ngaboutmyweddi ngher
e
soIhavetolookmybestev enifitmeansnot
eati
ngforthatthr
eemont hsperi
od.

"
Qini
si
wedoIr eal
lyhav
etocomewi
thyouI
meancan'
tyoutakeThobi
andZi
nzi
?"

Ilookathi
m wi
thanannoy
edlookonmyf ace.
Hehasbeencomplai
ningf
orthel
asthourand
tobehonesti
tspr
ett
yannoyi
ngnow.

"Nkanyezikant
iam Iget
ti
ngmar
ri
edt
oThobi
andZinzi"

Hej
ustl
ooksatme.
Sotodaywearegoi
ngtomeetmyweddi ng
pl
anner.Idi
dn'
twantonebutIdontt
hinkI
'
llbe
abl
etoplanaweddingsoIdeci
dedtogetone.

"
OkayI
'
m done"hesay
s

Iroll
myey es.I
vebeenwait
ingforhi
mforl
i
ke
forevert
hankthel
ordheisdone.

Heopenst
hecardoorformeandIgeti
nand
t
henhegoest
ohissideandgetsi
n.

"
Whycan'
tIdr
ive"

"
Qini
si
wey
ou'
repr
egnant
"

"
That
'sr
ightI
'
m pr
egnantnotcr
ippl
ed"
Heshakeshishead.Iputmyhandonhishead
andbr
ushit.Il
ovedoingthi
s,Idoi
tal
lthet
ime.

"
Stop"

"
Why
"

"
It
smaki
ngmesl
eepy
"

Ir
emov
emyhandf
rom hi
shead.

AndIcan'
thel
pbutsmi
l
eathowamazi
ngl
i
fe
hasbeen.

Letmet
ell
yout
his.I
tsbeenanamazi
ng
5mont
hs.

Ifoundoutt hatI'
m pregnant.Yoht hatist
he
highl
ightoftheentirefivemont hs.Thisman
ri
ghtherehasbeenhi ghlyobsessedwi thme.I
guesshei stryi
ngt oprotectmet r
yingtomake
surenothinghar msthesebabi esofmi ne.Yep
babies.I
'm havingthree.Wehav en'
tfoundout
thesexoft hebabiesbutIwashopi ngwecould
doittoday.

Whatelsehasbeenhappeni
ng?Ohy esI
'
m
f
ixi
ngorshouldIsayIhavefi
xedmy
r
elat
ionshi
pwithmyfather
sfamil
y.TheZondi
f
amily.

Meandmyuncl ePhi
l
anihavet
hemost
amazingbondandIl
ovehi
m.Hiswi
feandthei
r
ki
dstheyarej
ustani
ceandhappyf
amil
y.Ial
so
haveUmkhul uwhoi snott henicestpersonbut
atleasthetri
est obeni cet ome.Thenwehav e
myst epmot herwhohat eswithpassi on.Idont
reall
ycarethoughIj ustmakesur ethatIdont
touchherfoodbecauset hatwomani sevil
ngekeIcan'triskmyl if
eandmybabi es.Nathi
ohy esNathihei sj
ustasadsoul .Nkany eziand
him dontgetalong.Ihav enoi deawhyNkany ezi
hasneedwi thamanwhohasnol egsandno
penis.That
'swhatmeandXol igossipaboutal l
thetime.Appar ent
lysomeonecutof fhispenis.

IhadImbelekodoneforme.Wel l Iwas
i
ntroducedtotheZondif
ami l
yblahbl ahblah.
Nkanyezihasdoneevery
thing.Byt hatImean
hepaidLobolaforme.Tradit
ionallyi
m alr
eady
hi
swi febutkeyouknowIhav en'twornthe
whitedresssoI'
m st
il
lhi
sf i
ance.
Hisf
amil
ygavemeanewname.Ireal
l
ydont
l
ikei
tyazbutkewhatcanIsay
.
Mynamei sNomandla.Okayokaywhatev
erI
dontcareifyoudontl
ikei
tbutmyhusband
l
ikesitandthat'
swhatimport
antsoall
ofy ou
canchill
.
Li
fehasbeenabsolutel
yamazi ng.I
'
m happy
andverymuchinlove.I
'm notonlyi
nlovewi
th
Nkanyezi
,I'
m al
soinlovewi t
hlif
e.

Myfirm orlordlet'
stal
kaboutmyf i
rm.Ifeel
l
ikegodi sblessingmer eall
y.Thecl
ient
sar e
comingin.Themoneyi sfloodingi
nshameI '
m
notcompl ai
ning.
Ihav
echangedt henamet oQAccount ant
s.I
knowitsasill
ynamebuti tjusttouchesme.I
ts
me.It
smi ne.I'
m st
il
lsuspiciousthoughbutI
'
m
j
ustgoingtokeepmymout hshutbecauseI
knowforsurehewi l
ldenyitifIaskhim.

Ican'
twai
ttogi
vebi
rt
hsoIcanf
ocusonmy
businessevenmore.Nkany
ezii
sjustbei
ngan
ass.Cany oubel
i
evethathedoesn'
twantmeto
work?

Dontwor
ryhewi
l
lchi
l
l.

Nomhl e.Ohy es.Iwantedt ovisi

therinjail
.Well
Nkany ezit
oldmeev er
ythi
ng.Howt heyhadsex
blahblahblah.Ican'tbeli
eveshesl eptwithhim.
Ithoughtwewer ebestfri
ends.Ittruethatyou
nev err
eall
yknowsomeonesi ntenti
ons.ButkeI
want edtovisi
ther.YouknowIj ustwantedisto
scratchourbeefImeanI '
m gonnabeamot her.
Someone' swifeIjustwantt ostartmyl i
fe
afreshandmakesur eI'
m cool witheveryone.I
hav en'
ttol
dmymany etbitIwill
.

"
What
sup"hesay
sst
art
li
ngme.
Ismi
l
e.

"
Not
hingser
iousj
ustt
hinki
ng"

"
About
"

Irol
lmyey
es.Iknowhei
snotgoi
ngtoback
down.Hei
sgonnakeepaski
ngmeti
l
lItel
lhi
m.

"
Okaybutpl
easedontBeangr
y.I
..
.Iwant
edt
o
v
isi
tNomhle"

"
Nothappeni
ng"

"
HawNkany
ezi
.Ij
ustwantt
ost
artev
ery
thi
ng
f
rom scr
atchandf
orgi
veherandmakesur
e
Minanayewearecool
"

"
No"

"Nkanyezi
youcan'
ttel
lmewhatIcanand
cannotdo"

"Nomandl
adontpi
ssmeof
fuy
ezwa.Uzokhal
a"
hesays.

Ir
oll
myey
es.

"
Mxm"

Sil
encefi
ll
sthecar.I
'
m notevengoi
ngto
apologi
seheistheoneatfaul
t.I
fhethi
nksI
'
m
gonnaeathi
sassshameheiscrazy
.I'
m old
enoughtomakemyowndecisi
onsandt r
ustme
,I
'm goi
ngtogovi
sitNomhl
ewhetherheli
kesi
t
ornot.

"
Wear
eher
e"

"
Icanseet
hat
"

Iopent
hedoorandgetout
.Her
unst
omysi
de
andhol
dsmyhand.

"I
'
m sorr
ybabyIdi
dn'
tmeant
oshoutaty
ou.
Pleasef
orgi
veme"
hesays

If
oldmyar
ms
"NkanyeziIdontcar
eabouty
oushout
ingatme.
I
tsjustt
hatsomet i
mesyoutr
eatmeli
keakid.
Youdontletmemakemyowndeci si
ons.Thi
s
i
stiri
ngyaz"

"
I'
m sor
ry."

Myt
ear
sarefal
l
ing.Thi
spr
egnancyi
smaki
ng
meacr
ybabynx.

Hebri
ngshi
sfacecl
osert
omi neandweki
ss.I
r
eal
lyhat
ehoweasil
yIfor
giv
ehim.

"
Am If
orgi
ven"

Inod.
Hetakesmyhandandwemakeourwayi
nsi
de
t
herestaur
antwher
ewear
emeet
ingmy
weddingpl
anner
.

Sheraisesherhandf r
om thefarendandmake
ourwayt oher.Shelookssopretty
.Yel
lowbone.
Angeli
cey es.Justapret
typict
ure.

Shest
andsupandgi
vesmeahugandt
hen
Nkany
ezi
.

"
I'
m sor
rywear
elat
eNt
ombi
right
"

Shenods.

"
Nopr
obl
em Ij
ustar
ri
vedsoy
ou'
renotl
ate"
Shesmil
esrev
eal
i
ngt
hosedi
mpl
es.Shel
ooks
real
l
ygood.

"
Sowher
edowest
art
?"Isay

Shegi
gglesandt
akesoutabookf
rom herbag
andpl
acesitont
hetabl
e.

"
Sowhatdi
dyouhav
einmi
nd"shesay
s.

Idontknowi
fit
smebutshekeepsonst eal
i
ng
gl
ancesatNkanyezi
.Idontknowbuti
tsmaking
mef eel
sometypeofway .

"Ir
eal
lydontknowbutIjustwantsomet
hing
simpl
ebutstil
lel
aganty
ouknow"Isay
Shel
ooksatNkany
ezi
.

"
Andy
ou?
"

"Ohme?What
evershel
i
keswewi
l
ltakei
t"he
says

Thegir
lsmilesandl
ooksathi
m.OkaynowI
'
m
real
l
yinsecure.

"
SoI
fshewant
sragsy
ouwi
l
ltaker
ags"

"
I'
m sur
eshewi
l
llookgoodi
nthem"

"
Thebudget
"shesay
s.
"
Wedonthav
eabudgetshewi
l
lgetev
ery
thi
ng"

Sher
aisesherbr
ows

"
Nkany
ezi
you'
resomet
hingel
se"shesay
s

Nkany
ezi
smi
l
es.

Okaysotheyar
efl
irt
inginfr
ontofme.Wow
Nkanyezi
nxisanass.I'
l
ldealwi
thhi
m.
Shepushest hebookst oNkany ezi
andfora
minutethei
rfingers/handstouchandtheybot
h
smileateachot herbutthegirl
issmil
i
ng
fl
i
rtati
ously
.

Nkany
ezi
clear
shi
sthr
oat
.
"I
'
llbeback"Nkanyezisay
sandst
andsup.I
dontknowwher eheisgoing.

Icl
earmyt
hroat
.

"
Uhm Thoi
tsThor
ight
?"Isay

"
It
sNt
ombi
"

"
Ohy esmyhusbandisMrMt hethwatoyounot
Nkanyezi
andIdontt
hinkIappreci
ateyou
f
li
rti
ngwithmymaninfrontofme"

"
Iwasn'
t"
"Gi
rl
yIknowwheny ourt
ypeisfl
i
rti
ng.I'
m sorr
y
butwewon'tbeneedi
ngyourservi
ces"Isay
andstandupandgotothecar.

It
sl ockedsodeci detostandnearit.Il
ookat
my selffrom thecarwindows.Theyar etint
ed
soIcanseemy sl
efcl
earl
y.I
'm sofat.Idont
thi
nkI '
llwantt ogetpr
egnantagain.Ilookuglyi
meanl ookatmynose.Myf eetareheav yand
I'
mj ustreadyt opopthesebabies.Nowonder
Nkany ezi f
li
rt
swi t
hgirl
sIlookbad.

If
eel
handsonmywai
st.Iknowi
tshi
m.

"
Whydi
dyoul
eav
e"hesay
skssi
ngmyneck

"
Iwastry
ingt
ogi
vey
ouachancet
ofl
i
rtwi
th
Ntombi
"
Isayandpushhi
m of
fme.

"
Qini
si
wewhat
'swr
ongnow"

"
Nkany
ezi
justunl
ockt
hedamncar"

Heshakeshi
sheadandt
henopenst
hecarand
webothgeti
n.

Hel
ooksatme.

"
What
'swr
ong"

"
Not
hing"
"Qi
nisi
weIdonthaveti
meforyourf
ucken
hor
monessoj ustf
uckent
ell
mewhat '
swrong"

"
Arey
ouser
iousl
yaski
ngmet
hat
?"

"
Whatdi
dIdo?
"

"NKANYEZIYOUWEREFLI
RTI
NGWI
THHERI
N
FRONTOFME"Ishout
.

"
Fli
rt
ingwhen?
"

"
Dontaskmest
upi
dquest
ionswena.
"

"Qi
nisi
wewhaty ou'
redoi
ngisreal
lyannoy
ing
andunattr
acti
ve.Soever
ytimeItal
ktoanother
femaleyou'
regonnasayI'
mf l
i
rti
ng.Si
ncewhen
ar
eyout
hisi
nsecur
e"

I
veal
way
sbeeni
nsecur
e.

"HowcanInotbei nsecurewheny ouhav

ea
highrecor
dofcheat ing."Isayandwipemy
tear
s.Yep.I
'm cr
ying.

Hel
ooksatme.

"
Wow"

Hest
art
sthecaranddr
ivesof
finhi
ghspeed.

……….
.
Wear eout
sidethedoctor
soffi
ces.Iopent
he
doorandgetout.I
fhewant st
ocomehewi ll
fol
lowmeIr eal
l
ydon'thaveti
met obebeggi
ng
thi
smanngekephel a.

Igeti
nsideandI
'm wel
comedbythedoctor
s
warm smil
e.Thi
smanal way
shasawayof
cal
mingme.Dontwor r
yheisanolderman.

"
Missgoodt
oseey
ouagai
n"

"
Likewi
seDoc"

"
Youknowt
hedr
il
l.

Isi
tonthebedandpul
lupmyclot
hing
rev
eal
ingmytummy.Heputst
hatcoldjel
l
yon
meandt
hatbeaut
if
ulsoundst
art
s

ThedooropensandNkanyezi
walksi
nwit
hred
eyes.Iguesshewassmoki
ng.Hesit
sdown
andsmi l
esashehearst
heheart
beat
s.

"t
heyar
ebi
ggert
hant
hel
astt
ime"hesay
s

Wefi
nishedev
eryt
hingandwearesi
tt
ingdown
andr
eadytoheart
hebignews.

"wel
lyout
woar
ehav
ingt
woboy
sandagi
rl
."

Myt earsfal
landIcan'
tcont
ainmyhappiness.
Nkany ezi
holdsmyhandandgi v
esmeasmi l
e
andIsmi l
eback.Iguesswehav ef
orgi
veneach
other.
………….
.

Aweekl
ater
.

Soivedecidedtohi r
eanol derweddingplanner
becausethesebitcheswantmyman.Gai li
s
handli
ngev er
ythi
ngandwehav etalkedabout
al
l t
hethi
ngsIl i
ke.I'
llonlygohuntingf ora
dresswheni v
egiv enbirth.Ihavethreemont hs
and3weeksl eftandI '
llgivebir
thmay besooner
becauseyounev erknowgodspl an.

WellI
'
m dri
vingtoprison.Ireal
l
ywanttovi
sit
Nomhle.Nkanyezidoesn'tknowandyouknow
whathedoesn'tknowwon' thurthi
m.

……….
.
I
veneverbeentoprisonbef
oreandtruthbetol
d
i
tspr
ettyscar
y.I
'm sit
ti
nonthechairwhichi
s
pr
ett
ycoldandI'
m wai t
ingf
orthem tobri
ng
Nomhle.

Iscanever
yonei
nther oom.Somev i
sit
osar
e
cryi
ng,somearesmil
ing, somear
eangryi
ts
j
ustamessedupsituation.

Ionl
ybroughtNomhl
etoi
l
etr
iesIhopet
heyar
e
al
lowedinhere.

Thereshei
s.Shel ooksbad.Nottoobadbut
sheisnott
heNomhl eIonceknew.Istandup
andshecomescl oserandwhensher eaches
meIhugher.Shehugsmebackbutt hent he
pol
icemanbreakst hemoment.
"
Ainohuggi
ngort
ouchi
ng"

Weel
etgoandsi
tdown.

Myt ear
sfal
landshefol
l
owsme.Wesiti
n
sil
enceforacoupl
eofminut
esbutt
henI
rememberthatwehaveli
mit
edti
me.

"
WhyNomhl
e"

Shesobssi
l
ent
ly

"
I'
m sor
ryQi
nisi
we"

Inod.
"If
orgav
ey oual
ongt
imeagoIj
ustwantt
o
knowwhy "

Shewi
peshert
ear
s.

"
Iwasj
eal
ous"

Ireal
l
ydontknowwhatt
osayt
ohersoIj
ust
shutup.

"
You'
repr
egnant
"shesay
sandIsmi
l
ehol
ding
mybump.

"
Yes"
"
Lif
eisamazi
ng?
"Sheasks

"
Godi
sgoodt
hat
'sal
l
"

"Nkany
ezi
ist
hef
ather
?"

Inod
Shewi
peshert
ear
s.

"
Howdi
dyouendupher
e"

Shekeepsqui
et.

"
YouknowQi ni
siweIsomet
imesbl
amemy sl
ef.
I
fIwasn'
tjeal
ousofyouIwoul
dn'
tbeher
e.I
wi
shIli
stenedtopeopl
ewarni
ngmeabouthi
m"
Hi
m?

"
Him?
"

"
Nkany
ezi
"

Forami nutei
mlostbutt
henmymi
ndst
art
s
funct
ioningpr
oper
ly.

"
NoNomhl
e"

"
Heframedme.YouseeQini
siwethatmanis
t
hedevi
lhi
msel
f.Ihopey
oureali
sethatsooner
"
Il
augh.Li
ker
eal
l
ylaugh.

"Ican'
tbeli
eveyouareblamingsomeonef or
yourdoings.Youareacowar dandnot
hingyou
doorsaycanmakemel eavehi
m.Helov esme
andIlovehim devi
lornot"

Shel
aughst
oo.

"
Ify
outhi
nkhelov
esy
out
heny
ou'
remor
enai
ve
t
hanIt
hought
"

"Nomhley ouneedt ounder

standthis.I
'm not
you.Youopenedy ourlegsforhim andhe
fuckedyout hat
'si
t.Heneverwantedy ouand
hewi l
lneverwantyou.Iwasy ourfri
endbutyou
decidedtobeawhor eandsleepwithmyman"
If
eelahotsharppai
nonmyl ef
tcheek.Thi
s
bi
tchsl
apped.Theoff
iceri
nterv
enes.

"
Hav
eani
cel
i
fe"

Isayandst
andupl
eav
inghery
ell
i
ngand
cursi
ng.

Youcannev erchangeaper son.Ihumbled

my sel
fbecauseIwant edtounderstandher
reasonsbutkeshedeci dedtobeherusualsel
f.
Idon'tneedpeoplelikeherinmyl i
febutIhope
herstayinjaili
snothingbutamazi ng.

*Igueessyoudeci dedtonotli
stentomeand
doasy ouplease.Itel
lyounottodosomet hi
ng
butyoudoit.HowcanIbewi t
hsomeonewho
al
way sfai
l
st oli
stentome.Qinisiweuyadi
na
man.Gether
enow*

Ohherecomest
roubl
e.Ideci
det
orepl
ytohi
s
what
sapp

*
Ilov
eyoutoobabyI'
llbether
einaminut
e.I
n
t
hemeanti
mestartundressi
ng.Lov
eyou*

Hetypesbutt
henstops.Hety
pesagai
nbut
st
ops.Isendanot
hermessage.

*
Nkanyezii
saidIlov
eyoucanyousendt
he
messageal
readyandst
optypi
nganddel
eti
ng*

*
fokof
.Youal
way
sdi
sobeymest
andwaSam I
l
oveyout
oo*
Ismi
l
eshaki
ngmyhead

Igeti
nmycaranddr
ivehome.

….
………
LedByLov
e

FI
NALE(
PARTTWO)

I
NSERT58

NKANYEZI
'
SPERSPECTI
VE

If
eel
someoneshaki
ngme.

"
Nkany
ezi
"
Ikeepqui
etai
n'
tnobodywakingmei
nthe
middl
eoftheni
ghtwhil
eI'
m havi
ngmybeaut
y
sl
eep.

"
NKANYEZI
"

"
MHHH"

"
Ithi
nkmywat
erbr
oke"

"Amanzanimanje(whatwater)
"Iask.I
'
m
seri
ousl
ygett
ingannoyed.SoQwakesmeupin
themiddl
eofthenighttotal
kaboutwater
.

"
AahhIt
hinkt
hebabi
esar
ecomi
ng"
Igetupf
rom t
hebed

"Doesithurt
?Doy ouwanttopush?Uhm uhm
openy ourl
egsSoIcansee.ButI'
venever
helpedanyonegi
vebirthbef
orewhatshoul
dwe
do? "I
'
m seri
ousl
ypanicki
ngri
ghtnow.

"Nkanyezical
m down.Lookgetthatbagand
getdressedsoIcangot othehos.…AHH"

Shescr
eams.

Ispri
ntoutoft
heroom t
omymother
sroom.
Shesleepsher
ebecausewewant
edsomeone
oldert
obeclosert
ous.

Idontev
enknockIj
ustbar
gei
n.I
tsnotl
i
keI
'
m
goi
ngtofi
ndhermast
urbat
ingorsomet
hing
l
iket
hat.

"
Mahsheishavi
ngthebabi
es"Ishoutandshe
wakesupandwear
shergown.

Thankgodshesl
eepswi
thcl
otheson.

Webot hruntomyroom andQi

nisi
weisonthe
groundwithherl
egsopenandi
sbreat
hing
heavil
y.

"
Getupmybabyl
et'
sgo"t
hat
'sMyma

"
Mamay ohithur
tsbestbel
i
eveI
'
m nev
erdoi
ng
t
hisagai
n"
Li
es.

It
aket
hebagandweheadoutsi
detot
hecar
wi
thmehol
dingherscr
eami
ngself
.

"
Doesithur
t?"Iaskbutnextt
hingahotsl
ap
l
andsonmyf ace.

Shej
ustsl
apped.Qi
nisi
wej
ustsl
appedme.

"
Qini
si
we"mymot
hershout
s.

"
Dontaskst
upi
dquest
ionsNkany
ezi
"

I'
m gonnal
etthi
spassf
ornow.Wegeti
nthe
carandIdr
iveli
keamadman.Ical
lmy
brot
herswhi
lstati
t.
Okayl
abourishar
dbutngekeIthi
nkQini
siwei
s
dr
amati
crightnow.Shei
sscreamingl
i
keamad
woman.

"
Breat
hit
hiHuHuHu"

Shedoest
hoseHuHuHubr eat
hinst
hatmama
i
stell
i
nghertodoandshei
sslowl
ydecr
easi
ng
herdr
amati
cness.

"Nkany
ezicany
oudr
ivef
ast
erI
'
m dy
ingher
e"
sheshout
s

Idr
ivef
ast
er.Thankgodi
tsl
atesot
her
ear
eno
car
sontheroad.
………….

"Youcandothisbabycomeon"im encour
agi
ng
hertopushbutshedoesn'
twantto.Sheis
screami
ngthatshecan'
t.

Thedoct
orsl
apshert
highsagai
n.

"
Stophi
tti
ngherhaw"Isayt
othedoct
orwho
j
ustsmi
lesatme.

"
Nkany
ezi
iwantaCsect
ion.Ican'
tdot
his"

"
Youcanandy
ouwi
l
lbabycomeonpush"

Shei
ssqueezi
ngmyhandtoomuchandifI
wasayel
lowboneIwoul
dberedbynow.My
hearti
sbeat
ingoutofmychest
.Inaf
ew
minutesI
'
m gonnabeafat
her.

"Icanseet
heheadnowgi
vey
ourbi
ggestpush
ever"t
hedoct
orsay
s.

"
Nkany
ezi
cany
ouseet
hehead"sheasksme.

"NoQi
nisi
weI'
m notchecki
ngIst
il
lwantt
o
keepmysani
nty"Isay
.
Thi
sgi
rlmustbecr
azyifshet
hinksI'
m gonna
l
ookatherv
aginat
aki
ngoutababy .

"
Youdi
dthi
stomey
oudi
cknowy
oudontwant
t
ohel
pme"

"
Youar
etheonet
hatwant
edmydi
cknj
e"
"
Youdidn'
tpulloutl
i
keyousai
dyouwoul
d.
AHH.Godpleasehelpme"

"
Misspushhar
der
"

Qini
siwenodsandhol
dsmyhandagai
ntoo
t
ight.

"
AHH"

Iheart
hef
ir
stcr
y.I
tsoutandi
tsaboy
.

"
Okaypushagai
nther
eisanot
herone"

Shehol
dsmyhandandpushesagai
n.Har
der
t
hist
ime.

Anot
heroneisoutandtear
sarealr
eadyf
all
i
ng
fr
om myeyes.Iwipethem qui
ckl
y.

"
It
sanot
herboy
"

Shehol
dsmyhandevent
ight
erandpushes
cl
enchi
ngherj
aws.

"
JesusJesus"

"
Ican'
tdot
hisany
mor
e"shesay
s.

"
Babyi
tst
helastonegi
vey
ourbi
ggestpush.
Onl
yonel
eft
"
Shenodsandstar
tspushingagai
n.Icl
osemy
eyesandsayashortpr
ayerandiopenthem.

Thel
astonecomesoutcr
yingt
oo.

"
It
sagi
rl
"

Theyar eall
cryi
ngatonceallt
hreeoft
hem.The
noisetheyaremakingismusictomyears.My
tearsarefal
li
ngandt hi
sti
meI'mlet
ti
ngthem
fall
.I'
m happy.I
'
mr eall
yhappy
.

Qinisi
welooksatmesmi
l
ingandIki
ssher
forehead.
Happi
ness.
….
.

Ever
yoneisint
heroom wi
thus.I
'
m hol
ding
one,
Qini
siwehast
woonherchest.

"
Thei
rnames"Nkoseny
esay
s

Qi
nisi
wel
ooksatmesmi
l
ing.Ohshewant
sme
t
onamethem.

"
Okay.Thi
schampisNhlelel
oBandi
le
Mthet
hwa.HeisNhl
akaniphoLwandi
le
Mthet
hwaandthepri
ncessisNhl
anhlaSl
i
ndi
l
e
Mthet
hwa"

Everyonei
ssmil
ingandhappy.Idi
dn'
tknow
thatbabi
esbr
ingsuchhappi
ness.
…………

3MONTHSLATER

Myphoner
ingsandIgr
abi
tfastshut
ti
ngi
t.

It
ipt
oeoutoft
her
oom.

Thephonet
ingsagai
n.

"
Whywer
en'
tyoupi
cki
ngupt
hephone"

"
Nkany
ezi
ijustputt
heki
dst
osl
eep"

"
Okaysoar
eyour
eadyf
ort
omor
row"
"
BabyIwasbor
nready
"

"
Okayhav
eani
cebachol
oret
tepar
ty"

"Thankyou.Yout oobutpleaseNkanyezi
dont
messar oundwithstr
ippersIbegyouIdont
wanttobecut ti
ngpenises"Isayandheburst
s
outint
ol aught
er.

"
Ilov
eyou"

"
Ilov
eyoumor
e"Isay

Wecutt
hephonecallandIgeti
ntheshower
andl
ett
hewaterpl
easeitsel
fwi
thmybody.
It
sbeenanamazi ngthr
eemont hs.Ican'
t
believeI'
m amot heryohtrustmeithasntbeen
easy .Thesel i
tt
lebratswouldwakeupi nthe
mi ddleoftheni ghtandjustcryandIwouldend
upcr yingtoo.Nkany eziwashelpi
ngme
throughoutt hi
swhol ejourneyandmam
Sizakheletoo.

Ican'
tbelievet heyar et hr
eemonthsol dal
ready.
JustyesterdayIgav ebi rt
htothem andnow
theyareallgrownup.Theyar esuchhappy
chil
drenandv er ycut etoo.WellNhlakaand
Nhlel
elolookliket heirf at
herandNhlanhla
l
ooksl i
kebot hherf atherandme.Ican'tbeli
eve
I'
m amot hery azIr eallycan'
t.
Theseli
tt
lecuti
eshavechangedmyli
fef
orthe
bett
er.I
'
m happy.Ihav
epeopleIl
iv
eforot
her
thanNkanyezi
.
Si
gh.

I
'm get
ti
ngmarri
edtomorrow.I
'
m excit
edbutat
t
hesamet imeI'
m scar
ed.Whatifwedon'tget
marri
ed,whati
fsomethi
nggoeswr ongI'
mj ust
t
ooscared.
Igetoutoftheshoweranddrymybodythen
l
otion.Iwearmyli
ngeri
e.Thesexi
estl
acyone
pi
ecenumber .

Wellwearehavi
ngmybacholerettetoni
ght.
Welli
naboutanhourfr
om now.Mam Si zakhel
e
i
sgoingtoBabysi
tbuti
tsagoodt hingI'
m
gonnabeinthehousej
ustdi
fferentrooms.

Backt omyweddi ng.Every

thi
ngisset.My
dress.OhJesusmydr essissomet
hingel
se.I
can'tevenexpl
ainitbutonewordit
sbeauti
ful
.
It
ssexy.Nkanyezi
isgonnagocrazywhenhe
seesme.Itcostafor
tunetooI
'
m excit
edandI
can'
twaitwaitt
owearit.
Ihav
ethebestoft
hebesthandlingthedecor
.
Thevenuei
ssomehot el
njethatNkanyezi
ownsashareofsoyeahIcan'twait
.

"
Bit
chWeareher
ewoza"t
hat
sThobi
wit
hher
l
oudsel
f.

Shegetsinmyr oom andscr eamswhenshe

seesme.Wel l
thisli
nger
ieisdoi ngsomeot her
shi
ttomybody .I'
m notperfectbutI'v
elost
enoughweightbutI'
m sti
ll
hel l
at hi
ck.Well
Nkanyezi
usuallysays"y
oulooksexymyl oveI
coul
deaty ouri
ghtnow"

AndIsay"
what
'sst
oppi
ngy
ou"
Andthenwehavesex.Westar
tedhav
ingsex
agai
n2monthsaft
ergiv
ingbi
rt
hbutI'
m onthe
pi
ll
.

"Gi
rlcomewear eal
lwai
ti
ngforyou"shepul
l
s
mebymyhandandwegodownst ai
rsand
ever
y onescr
eamswhentheyseeme.

Ist
artt
werki
ngfort
hem andt
heyscream ev
en
more.I
tsThobi
,Zi
nzi
,Mi
chell
e,Xol
i
eandGabi .

Wemetthroughbusi
nessandwehav
ebeen
f
ri
endseversi
nce.

Thenightgoeson.Conv
ersati
onsarepoppi
ng.
Dri
nksareflowi
ngandhubblyisbei
ngsmoked
l
ikecr
azy .
"It
hinkIshouldbr
eakupwit
hMi kehedoesn'
t
giv
emeor gasm"t
hatsMi
chell
e

Weall
lookatherandthenburstouti
nto
l
aught
er.Tr
ustMichel
l
et osaythat

"Whoahgirly
ouhaveaseri
ousprobl
em Mina
Nkanyezigi
vesmeorgasm af
teror
gasm af
ter
orgasm"IsayandZi
nzihi
ghfi
vesme

"
Xol
ani
doesn'
teatmeout
"Thobi
say
s

Weal
ll
augh

"
Yohy
ou'
remi
ssi
ngout
"Gabi
say
s
"
Ili
kei
tfr
om t
heback"Xol
i
esay
s

"
Mmhmet
oo"Zi
nzi
say
s

Theyal
ll
ookatme

"
Ivenev
erhadi
tfr
om t
heback.
"

"
What
!"

Inod

Ther
eisaknockont
hedoor
.

"
Comei
n"Ishout
Theper
sonknocksagai
n.

"
Hambaandopen"Zi
nzi
say
s

Igot
othedoorandopen.I
tst
wopol
i
cemen.

"
Uhm hi
"Isay

"
Arey
ouQi
nisi
we"

Inod

"
Missy
ou'
reunderar
restf
orbei
ngt
oosexy
"

Theypi
ckmeupandgetint
heroom wi
thme.
Ever
yonescr
eamsandt
henthemusicst
art
s
pl
ayi
ng.Nkany
ezi
isgonnaki
l
lmeIt
ell
you.

Theystar
tstri
ppingoftheircl
othesandone
gri
ndsonme.Thesemenar esexyIt el
lyou.
Dri
ppinghot
.Wi zkid'
scl
oserisplaying.
Every
oneischeer i
ngbutthensuddenl ythe
songgoesoff.Ilookupandi t
sSi y
abonga.I
pushthestr
ipperofme.

"MmmhKulitLA"Si
yabongasayslooki
ngatt
he
str
ipper
swi
thhi
sjawsclenched.

"Youandyougetoutbef
oreIkil
lyou"hesays
andthenthest
ri
pperspi
ckuptheircl
othesand
walkout

Si
yabongacl
i
ckshi
stongue
"Sot
hisi
stheshi
tyoudo.Nkany
ezi
tol
dmet
o
come
Andcheckupony
oubuty
ou'
rebusywi
th
st
ri
ppers"

YohI
'
mint
roubl
e
"
PleaseSi
yabongadontt
ell
him"

Xol
ieisl
ooki
ngatSiy
abongaseduct
ivel
y.Phel
a
shehasacrushonhi
m.

"DontbeshowingNkanyez
i'sasset
stoother
menuy ezwa.Iwi
llki
l
lyouIdontcarehowmuch
helovesyou"hesayssmil
ing.

"
Yebobaba"Isay
Andhel
aughs
"
Fuseg.I
'
mleav
ingnow"

"
ByeSi
yabonga"x
oliesaysandSi
yabonga
wi
nksather
.Sheblushesandtur
nsred
i
nst
ant
ly.

Thenightgoesonandwear enowsi ngi

nglov
e
songstoeachother.Desti
ny'schil
dCatert
o
youhasbeenonr epeatforthelasthour
.

Theti
meis03: 00andweseriouslyneedto
sl
eep.I
naboutsi xhour
sI'
m gonnabe
someoneswife.Nkanyezi
'
swi f
e.AMt het
hwa
wif
e.Ihaven'
tcheckeduponmybabi esbutI
knowtheyareingoodhands.Mam Si zakhel
eis
abosswheni tcomestobabysitt
ing.
Therei
saknockont
hedoorandt
heguar
d
walksi
n.

"
Mam t
her
eisapar
cel
her
efory
ou"
Hesay
s.

Igotohi
m.FuckI
'm notdr
essedproperl
ybut
fucki
thewon'
tdi
e.Heclearshi
sthroatand
l
ooksdown.

"
Thanky
ouThabowhoi
sitf
rom"

"
HeyThabo"ev
ery
onesay
sandThabochuckl
es.

Iopenmyparcelandi
nsi
dei
tsal
ett
erand
someothert
hings.
*y
ou'
regett
ingmar i
edandboasti
ngwast
ing
Moneybutyetyourhusbandf
ail
stot
akecare
hi
s6mont holdbaby*

Thel
ett
err
eads.

Mybr
eat
hingchanges.Whatt
hef
ucki
sthi
s.

Iopentheboxagainandther
earepictur
esofa
babyandpri
ntedtextmessagesIassumethey
arebet
weenNkany ezi
andthebabymama.

Ir
eadthemessagesandt
heyi
ndeedhadsex.
Thi
sisNkany
ezi'
snumber
.

Ther
eisanenv
elopeIt
akei
tandopeni
t.
Myhandsar
eshaki
ngmyt
ear
sar
eal
ready
f
all
i
ng.

"
Qini
si
wewhat'
swrong"ever
yonesaysthatand
t
heguardl
ooksshi
tscar
ed.Idontknowwhy .

It
sapaterni
tyt
est
.Igot
hroughi
tand
ever
ythi
ngiscl
ear
.

Howcoul
dNkany
ezi
dot
hist
ome

Ilookatever
yoneandt henIrunupstai
rs.They
all
fol
lowmebutIl ockthedoorandsinkonthe
fl
oorandcrymyey esout.Theykeepbanging
thedoorbutI
'm notgonnaopen.

Thi
sbit
chjusthadt
orui
nmyl
i
feonmy
weddi
ngday.
LedByLov
e

FI
NALEpi
sode

QI
NISI
WE'
SPOV

Love.Suchashor
twor
dbuti
trequi
resast
rong
per
sont ocl
aimit
.
"
Ilov
eyou"

Theset
hreewordsarewor
dsI'
vebeenhear
ing
fr
om hi
m ever
yday.Di
dheevenmeanthem?

Ibethedidbecausehehasn'
tonl
ybeentel
l
ing
mehel ov
esmebuthehasal sobeenshowing
me.
Thequest
ioni
swi
l
lIbeabl
etol
i
vewi
thaman
whocheat
sandl
i
es?

Sothi
sishowIfeltinthepastwhenhehur tme.
Wowi t
ssuchashittyfeel
ingbutatthesame
ti
meI'v
ebeenwaitingforthi
smomentf ora
whil
enow.Themomentofdi sappoi
ntment
.The
momentofbeingdisappointedbyhim.Bya
manIlove.ByNkanyezi.

Iwipemyt ear
swhi chhavebeenfall
ingf
or
quit
eawhi l
e.Myf r
iendshavestoppedbangi
ng
thedoorandthankgodbecausei twasstar
ti
ng
tobeabitannoying.

Wellt
hetimeis5ocl orck.I
'
m sti
llsi
tti
ngbutt
fl
atonthegr
oundl ostinmyt houghts.How
coul
dNkanyezidot histome?Hehasaki d.I
f
hehasakidwhydi dn'thetell
mebecauseI
wouldhavef
orgiv
enhi mifhewast heonewho
tol
dmef i
rst
.Nowhi
swhor
esar
etheones
droppi
ngbombsonme.

I'
m nothurtbythef
actthathehasakid.Oh
tr
ustmeIwoul dneverhateakidwhohasthe
sameDNAasNkany ezi
.I'
m hurtbyt
hefactthat
hedidn'
ttellme.

Si
gh.

It
hinkwerushedintot
hismarr
iagestuff
.I
meani t
sourweddingdaybuti
tfeel
slike
ev
erythi
ngisfal
l
ingapart
.

Ist
andupandgotowar
dst
hemi
rr
or.The
per
sonI'
m sei
ngi
snotme.
"
QINI
SIWE"

"
QINI
SIWE"

Thebangi
ngonthedoorhasbegun.Thi
sti
me
i
tsnotmyfri
endsbuti
tshi
m.

"
Babypl
easeopenupsowecant
alk"

Talk.Ihavenot hi
ngtot
alkabout
.Iwi
shyou
wouldhav etalkedtomeandtoldmeever
ythi
ng
fr
om t hebeginning.

"
BabyI
'
m sosor
rypl
easej
ustopen"

I
fIopent
hisdoorIdontknowwhatIwi
ll
sayto
hi
m.Iwil
lj
ustfi
ndcomf or
tint
hearmsofthe
per
sonwhoi
shur
ti
ngme.

"
Nkanyezipl
easego"Isayi
nal
owv
oicebutI
t
hinkheheardme.

"
Pleaseopenmyl
ovengi
yakcel
a"

Iset
tl
eont
hebedf
aci
ngt
her
oof
.

"BabyIwasgoi ngtotel
l y
ou.Iwantedtotel
ly ou
fi
rstbutIwantedtodoi taftert
heweddingIjust
thoughtyouwouldn'tl
eavemewhenwear e
alr
eadymar r
ied.Iwasscar edbabyI'
m sor
ry"

Iwanttoreplybutwor
dsarefail
ingme.Idont
knowwhatt osayandworseIdontknowwhat
todo.Thetruthi
sIlov
eNkany eziandI
tscares
mesomet imesbecauseIr
eal
i
set
hatiswoul
d
doanyt
hingforhi
m.Iknowhewoulddo
any
thi
ngf ormetoo.

Ist
andupandgotowar
dst
hedoor
.Iunl
ock
andsl
owl
yopen.

Welookateachother.Mor eli
keIlookathim.
Hiseyesarer
edandni coti
nehitsmynost r
ils.I
j
usthatehowhesmokesl ikeachimney
ever
yti
mehei sgoi
ngt hroughsomet hi
ng.Ihate
howhesomet imespushesmeawayand
doesn'
ttal
ktoMewhensomet hi
ngisbother i
ng
hi
m.Hej ustf
indspeaceIguessi nmyv agina.

Heat
tacksmewithahugandIdontknowwhat
t
odosoIlethi
m be.
"BabyI'
m sosor
ry"west
ayinthatposi
ti
onfor
somet i
meandmyl ef
tshoul
derisalr
eadywet
.
From hi
stear
s.

Ifi
nditf
unnyhowmenthinkthei
rtear
smake
usbeli
evet
hem.Letmetell
yousomet hi
ng
aboutmen.

Theycancrytheireyesoutapologi
singandsti
l
l
belyi
ng.Theycanconf essthei
rlovetoyouand
st
il
lfi
ndcomf ortinbetweenanotherwoman's
l
egs.

Ipushhim of
fmeandwal ktowardst hewi ndow.
I'
m sti
l
linmylingeri
enj al
o.Ilookout sidethe
window.Thesuni srisi
ngandi nacoupl eof
hoursI'
m get
ti
ngmar ri
ed.ButI'm sti
llnotsure.
Whatifhedoesi tagain?WillIbeablet oforgiv
e
him?Nowi l
lIbeabl etoforgi
v emy selffor
f
orgi
vi
nghi
m soeasi
l
y.

"Qi
nisi
weIwoul dunderst
andifyouwantto
l
eavenebutbabypl easeforgi
veme.Icannot
l
ivewithouty
ouandmyki ds"hegoesonhis
kneesashistearsfal
l.

Thethi
ngi
sIdontcar
eabouthi
stear
sij
ust
wanthi
mtoconfesst
ome.

"
Isi
tyour
s?"Hest
andsupwi
pinghi
stear
s

"
Yes"

"
Whendidthi
shappenNkany
ezi
.It
houghty
ou
l
ovedme".
Thi
sti
meI
'
m notgoi
ngt
ocr
y.

"Idobabyi
twasami
stake"

"
Every
thi
ngisami st
akewithyou.Justt
ell
me
whendidt
hishappen"Ishout

Hel
ooksupr
ubbi
nghi
sface.

"
Acoupleofdaysafterwehadgot tenback
t
ogether
.Wewer eont hi
sbusinesstri
pandshe
wastherewewerewor ki
ngtogether,dr
inks
wer
ef l
owingandthenonethingledtoanother
"

Idontknowwhati
sfunnybutIf
indmy
sel
f
l
aughing.
"SoIguessI
'l
lhav
etoquest
ionyourl
oyal
ty
everyt
imeyougoonthesestupi
dbusi
ness
tri
ps"

Heshakeshi
shead.

"No.Ipromisest
handwaSam i
twast hef
ir
st
andlastti
me.PleaseQi
nisi
wefor
giv
eme"

Icar
ryonl
ooki
ngout
sideandt
henhedoest
he
same.

IfIleavehimiwill
neverf
indanotherl
ikehi
m.
Thewayhecar esandthewayhel ovesmeis
originalev
enthoughheisabitannoyi
ng
somet i
mes.
IguessIhav
etomakeadeci
sionandi
tsnowor
never.
"Nkanyezipl
easegosoi
cant
akeabat
hand
getdressed"

Helooksatmesmi l
i
ngandt hi
st imeIsmi l
e
back.I'
m notgoingtoleavehim shamey ou
whorescankissmyass.Thi sismymanand
minealone.Noki disgoingtobr eakusapart.
I
tshiskidthatmeansi tsmykid.Wewi l
lrai
se
thekidli
kewer aiseourotherkids.Wit
hnot hi
ng
butlove.

Hepi cksmeupspi nningmear ound.Il

ethim
beandenj oybeingi ntheair.IloveNkanyeziso
soMuchandi thinkIwoul ddi eifIl
osthim.I
don'tthi
nkIwoul dbewher eI'
m atifitwasn't
forhim.Ilostmy selfwhenIki l
ledSfundoand
hewast hereformeev er
ystepoft heway .He
hasshownmewhatt rueloveisandI '
ll
be
dammedi
fIl
ethi
m goov
ersomesi
l
lyshi
t.

………

Makeupi sdone.Ihavemydr essonandtobe

honestI'
m happy.Thisismydayandalltheshi
t
thathappenedearl
ierisnotgoingt
orui
nt hi
s
beauti
fuldayofmine.

ThedooropensandunclePhi
lani
wal
ksi
n.The
smil
eonhisfaceispr
icel
ess.

"Lookaty
oulooki
ngal
lcut
e"hesay
sandI
standupandwehug.

"
Thanky
ou"
"You'
rebeaut
if
ulQi
nisi
weinsi
deandoutand
anymanwoul dbecr
azytonotreal
i
sethat
"

If
eel
li
kecr
ying.

"I
'm sohappyf oryoubutIwanttotell
y outhi
s.
Dontbeaf raidt opackyourbagsandleav e.
Don'tfoll
owt hisBekezelashi
t.I
fhedoesn' t
respectyoul eav ehi
m.Ifhemakesy oucry
mor ethany oul aughmydaughterl
eav ehim.
Lifei
st ooshor ttobestuck
wit
hpeoplewhohurtyoual
lthetime.Iwant
youtobeagoodexampl et
oy ourki
ds.Fi
ghtfor
t
hemany oul
ovebutatThesamet i
meknow
whentoletgo.Il
oveyoumydaughter"

Theminut
ehestopst
alki
ngmyt
ear
sar
e
al
readymessi
ngupmymakeup.
"Thankyouforsupport
ingmeLume"Ist
ayi
n
hisarmsforsomet i
me.Ilov
ethi
smansoso
much.

"Qinisi
weit
stime"Mam Si
zakhel
esaysasshe
wal ksi
ntheroom l
ooki
nghell
asexyi
napink
dress.

"
Mamay
oul
ooksobeaut
if
ul"

Shegi
gglesandgetsoutoft
her
oom andme
anduncl
ePhilani
fol
low.

……………

Ican'
tbel
i
eveI
'
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.I
'
m wal
ki
ng
downt heai sl
ewithmyuncl e.TobehonestI '
m
happy.Ever yt
hingissobeautif
ul.Purpl
eflowers
scat
teredal lover
.Wel l
myt hemei spurpl
eand
whit
e.Ithinki t
sreall
ycute.Lasauceand
AmandaBl acksIDoi splay
ingandt hi
ssong
j
ustexplai
nsandput smyf eeli
ngondi spl
ay.

Dal
angi
l
indi
l
e
TosayhowmuchIl
ovey
ou
Igott
hismessagef
ory
ou
Ngi
thi
IdoNgy
avumaIdo

Ifeell
ikewear ewal
ki
ngtoslowandIwantto
gettohim asinnow.Theyall
lookdashi
ngi
n
bl
acksui ts.MmhNkanyezi
shouldwearsui
ts
mor eoftenIswear
.

"
Iam"Uncl
ePhi
l
ani
answer
sthepr
iest
.Idont
ev
enknowwhatt
hepr
iest
sasked.

Nkany
ezigi
vesmehi shandIt
akei
tandwe
l
ookateachothersmil
i
ng.

Ir
eadhi
sli
ps."y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul"

Ismi
l
emor
eli
kebl
ush.

Nkanyeziwhi
sper
ssomet
hingt
othepr
iestand
helaughs.

"Wel
lthegroom say
sheisinaHurr
yandhe
wantsustojumpstrai
ghtt
othevows"t
he
past
orsays

Ev
ery
onel
aughsi
ncl
udi
ngme.
Nkany
ezi
takest
hemi
c.

"
Sat
an'
sPA"hesay
s

I
'
mt heonl
ywhogetsthejokesoIl
aughand
t
henhefoll
owsandthenevery
oneendsup
l
aughi
ngtoo.

"Okayl
et'
sbeseri
ous.MyloveI'
m sohappyto
seeyouhearl
aughingwit
hme.Acoupl eof
hoursagoIt
houghtihadalr
eadylosty
oubutke
l
ookatgod.
Qini
siweIl
ovedy
outhef
ir
stdayIlai
dey
eson
youwhenyoucal
ledmeaphara"

Ev
ery
onel
aughsandIl
aught
oo.
"I
venev erl
ov edanyonet hewayIlov eyou.Not
onlyasyourhusband, butasy ourfr
iend,your
l
ov er
,andy ourconfidant.Letmebet he
shoulderyoul eanon,ther ockonwhichyour est
,
thecompani onofy ourlif
e.Wi t
hyouIwi l
lwalk
mypat hfrom t hi
sdayf orward.
I
nyourey
es,
Ihav
efoundmyhome.
I
nyourhear
t,Ihav
efoundmyl
ove.
I
nyoursoul
,Ihav
efoundmymat
e.
Wi
thy
ou,
Iam whol
e,f
ull
,al
i
ve.
Youmakemel
augh.Youl
etmecr
y.
Youar
emybr
eat
h,myev
eryhear
tbeat
.
Ipl
edgetoli
stent
oy ouradv
ice,
and
occasi
onal
l
ytakeit
.
Ipledgetonev
erkeepscor
e…ev
eni
fI’
mtot
all
y
winning.
Ipl
edgetoal
waysadmir
ey ourhuge,
str
ong,
ki
nd,anddet
ermi
nedheart
.
IpledgethatIwil
lloveyou.Youknowmebet ter
thananyoneelseint hi
swor l
dandsomehow
sti
llyoumanaget oloveme.Youar emybest
fri
endandonet ruelove.Thereissti
ll
apartof
met odaythatcannotbelievethatI
’
mt heone
whoget stomar r
yy ou.
Youl ooksobeaut if
ultomet oday ,butknow
thatyoualway slookbeauti
fultomeandwi l
l
alway sbethisbeautif
ult
ome, tomor row, and
thenextdayandt henext
.Asgor geousasy ou
arerighthereandr i
ghtnow,Iwi llonlyl oveyou
mor eandmor eeachdayofourl i
vest oget her.
Youandmewer emadef oreachot her .Ican't
waitforourkidst ogrowupandwi tnessour
l
ov eandhopef ull
ylearnf
rom it.Thisj ourney
hasn'tbeeneasybuti twasallwor thi t
."Hesay s
Byt
heti
mehef i
nishesI
'
m alr
eadyi
ntear
s.Thi
s
manofmine.Hewipesmytearswi
thhi
sthumb.

Okaynowi
tsmyt
urn

"
Sat
ansr
ighthandman"
Hel
aughsandIl
aught
oot
henev
ery
oneends
upl
aughi
ngtoo.

"Babawenganezam (f
atherofmyki
ds)
"Isay
andever
yonelaughs

"Ifyougr owweak, I’
ll
bether
etofighty
our
battl
esfory ou.I’
l
lhelpyouwit
hyour
responsibil
i
tiesandmakey ourpr
oblemsmy
owni nordert ospreadthewei
ghtabitmor
e
evenly.
Ifyouhavetocar r
ytheweightoftheworldon
yourshoulder
s, I
’
llbest
andingshoulder
-t
o-
shoulderwit
hy ou.
Ipromiset olov ey ouwi t
houtr eser vati
on,
comf or
ty ouint imesofdi stress, encour ageyou
toachieveal lofy ourgoals,laughwi thyouand
crywithyou, growwi thyouinmi ndandspi ri
t,
alwaysbeopenandhonestwi thy ou,and
cheri
shy ouf orasl ongaswebot hshal lli
ve.I
l
ostmymemor ybutt hankthel ordI vebeen
abletomakenewmemor ieswi thy ou.You're
notperfectbutwhoi s.Onet hi
ngIknowi s
you'r
eper fectformeandIdontseemy self
beingwithany oneot herthany ou.Youknowmy
deepestdar kestsecr et
sandIknowt heyare
safewithy ou.
WhenIsayIloveyoubabyImeani t.Youthe
cof
feethatIneedinthemorning.Yousunlight
i
ntherainwhenitspouri
ng.Youar emywat er
whenI'
m stuckinthedeser
t.Godmadey ouf or
meandy
ou'
remi
neal
one.
It
sf unnyhowIcantalktoalotofpeopl
efor
hour sbutnosmil
ecompar estothesmil
eyou
givemei nacoupleofseconds.Ilov
eyounow
andf orev
er"

Wewi
peshi
stear
sandIdot
hesane.

"
Doy ouNka…."Thepast
orsay
sbutNkany
ezi
i
nter
rupt
shim

"Ido.Andyoucanjumptot
heyoucanki
ssthe
bridepar
t"Nkanyezi
say
sandever
yonel
aughs.

Thepast
orl
ooksatmesmi
l
ing

"
Thi
smanofy
our
s"hesay
sandev
ery
one
l
aughs

"
Okayy
oumayki
sst
hebr
ide"

Hecomescl oserandi feelhi

sli
psonmine.Hi
s
breat
hi smintyagain.Ilethist
onguegoon
adventuresinmymout h.Thismomentis
amazing.Ifeelhandsonmyasst hat
swhenI
breakthekiss.Everyoneischeeri
ng.
Lov
e

…….

"
Backt
oreal
i
tynow"
Hesays.Wel
lwej
ustcamebackf
rom our
honey
moon.
"
Ican'
twai
ttoseemyki
ds"Isay
.
Heki
ssesmyhands.

"
Hav
eyout
houghtabout
?"Hesay
s.

Iknowwhathemeans.

"
YeahIhavethoughtabouti
t.Iwantanot
her
DNAtestandaft
erthatwecant al
kaboutgoi
ng
for
ward"

Thi
stopi
cjustmakesmewantt
ocr
ybutt
her
e
i
snothi
ngIcando.

"
Ilov
eyou"
"
Iknow"

"
Babywhatl
edy
ou"i
ask

Il
ookathi
m smi
l
ing.

"
It
swasnoty ourbodyorwhatev
er.I
twast
he
l
ove.Iwasl
edbyl oveandst
il
lam"

Weki ssandthenrubeachother
snose.That
's
ourobsessiontheseday
s.Wellwestar
ted
doingitonthehoneymoon.Ihopei
m not
pregnantyohphelawehavebeenfucki
ngli
ke
Crazy.

"
Nkany
ezi
andQi
nisi
wef
orev
er"Isay.
Wepi
nkyswear

"
Nkasi
wef
orev
er"

THEEND!