5 ways to work with the jerk in your office

Hundreds of millions of workers worldwide dread going to work every day. But for those
workers who have to work with a jerk or workplace bully, going to work is unbearable. All
of these office jerks are Actively Disengaged employees whose behaviors contribute to their
coworkers’ depression, anxiety, health problems, despair, and insomnia. The workplace
negativity becomes even more palpable if the jerk is one’s manager or a member of Senior
Management.
Furthermore, the jerk’s toxic behavior becomes contagious, infecting many others who may
begin mistreating others as well. In addition, the watercooler gossip mongering is equally
infectious, resulting in incorrect and obnoxious rumors spreading like wildfire.
Sadly, workplace jerks and bullies are not uncommon. Forty-eight percent of workers report
either having been bullied themselves or having witnessed workplace bullying.1 Let’s just say
that it is not an accident that a relatively recent New York Times Best Seller was called “The
No Asshole Rule.” See my related and very relevant blog on The 19 Traits Of A Horrible
Boss.
So what does one do when faced with having to work with an office
jerk? Here are 5 proven solutions:
1. Keep your distance. Taking on the workplace bully is a very risky business, as most of
these jerks are highly manipulative, cunning, and crafty in the most negative possible sense.
Staying away from the intolerable jerk is the most simple and effective solution.
2. Document and report the jerk’s behaviors and actions. First, tell your boss and ask
for his or her help. Second, report the toxic behavior to the Human Resources department,
especially if the behaviors conflict with the organization’s policies, mission, and values. Save
all emails and voicemails so you have evidence in writing. In short, ask for help.

3. Re-frame the jerk’s behavior into a less threatening and more positive
light. This solution is exactly how cognitive behavioral therapists in healthcare help
patients interpret their diseases and illnesses as realities that are less upsetting, or natural
challenges to “take on,” or beat. A great example is cancer patients who are taught to adopt a
mindset akin to: “I’m going to kick this cancer’s ass.”
Emotional detachment via protective reframing allows you to tune out and become
emotionally distant from the jerks. It has also been scientifically proven that when people
reframe current difficulties into the distant future, they experience less depression, sadness,
guilt, and anxiety.2
If you work with an office jerk, try any of the following examples of reframing their
negativity:
– Feel sorry for the jerk. “There must be something really horrible going on in their personal
life.”
– “He’s just being a jerk and this is what jerks do.”
– “I know she can be a jerk, but I have learned quite a bit from her, particularly how not to
treat others.”
– Minimize the nastiness. “In the whole scheme of things, this is really a small matter. I’ve
climbed higher mountains.”
– “This situation is not my fault and I’m not going to let it consume me.”
– “This too shall pass.”

4. Take a deep breath and go for a walk. Controlling your anger towards the jerk is
critical to staying engaged and productive in your job. Let the person play the role of being
the office jerk, and keep that role separate from your work role. To overcome the jerk’s
nastiness, remember and embrace the aspects of your job and home life that make you
happy. Vent about the jerk at home if necessary, which will help you release your workplace
tension. One other obvious and viable alternative is to simply consider taking a different job
somewhere else.

5. Kill them with kindness. Turn your torturer into a friend. (Sure, you are pretending,
but being extra nice completely throws them off guard). When you take the high road and
reflect niceness instead of nastiness, the jerk’s behavior only becomes more out of place. If
passing them in the hallway, show the jerk a great smile and let out a nice, positive, “Good
morning!” or “Hey, how’s your day going?”

Lastly, it is also important that you look in the mirror and be reflective—you might be the
office schmuck! If crass or judgmental comments have gone too far lately and you are indeed
a jerk, it probably won’t be easy to admit it to others or yourself. However, it’s important
that you take actions to correct your behavior before it’s too late. My friend, Ana Dutra,
wrote a great book about this called Lessons in Leadershit: Detoxing the Workplace. This
book helps you not only improve your working relationships with jerks and bullies but
teaches you how to avoid becoming a jerk or bully yourself.

Sources:
1 – Zogby Analytics/Workplace Bullying Institute Online Survey, 2014. Note that “Bullying” was
defined as these types of workplace mistreatment: abusive conduct that is threatening, intimidating,
humiliating, work sabotage, or verbal abuse.
2 – University of California – Berkley Psychology Study, 2014
 Kevin Sheridan

Kevin Sheridan is an internationally-recognized Keynote Speaker, a New York Times Best

Selling Author, and one of the most sought-after voices in the world on the topic of Employee
Engagement. For six years running, he has been honored on Inc. Magazine’s top 100 Leadership
Speakers in the world, as well as Inc.’s top 100 experts on Employee Engagement. He was also
honored to be named to The Employee Engagement Award’s Top 101 Global Influencers on
Employee Engagement of 2017.

Having spent thirty years as a high-level Human Capital Management consultant, Kevin has
helped some of the world’s largest corporations rebuild a culture that fosters productive
engagement, earning him several distinctive awards and honors. Kevin’s premier creation,
PEER®, has been consistently recognized as a long-overdue, industry-changing innovation in the
field of Employee Engagement. His first book, Building a Magnetic Culture, made six of the best
seller lists including The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today. He is also the
author of The Virtual Manager, which explores how to most effectively manage remote workers.

Kevin received a Master of Business Administration from the Harvard Business School in
1988, concentrating his degree in Strategy, Human Resources Management, and Organizational
Behavior. He is also a serial entrepreneur, having founded and sold three different companies.

Connect with Kevin on social and learn more about him by visiting the website or reaching
out through email: kevin@kevinsheridanllc.com