Her spiritual ministry had begun, in a way, even during the life-time of the

Master. Many of the women, who flocked to the Master, gathered round her
and felt inspired by her. It is known that the Master himself asked his would-
be Sannyasin disciple Sarada (Swami Trigunatita) to take initiation from her.
But it is doubtful whether the initiation actually took place: but Swami
Trigunatita was one of her earliest caretakers and attendants till he left for
work in the West. Yogen, Swami Yogananda, another disciple of the Master,
was initiated by her at Vrindaban according to the instruction given to her
and Yogen by the Master himself in dreams.

During her stay at Jayrambati and Calcutta, the stream of initiation-seeking

disciples increased from a trickle to a voluminous flow as time went on and
the Master's name and message began to spread far and wide. She was very
liberal in accepting disciples, without insisting too much on their
competency, not because she could not assess the same, but because her
motherly heart responded with sympathy and affection to whoever went to
her calling 'Mother' and seeking refuge. In the ocean of her universal love,
the relative statures of individual seekers had no meaning as far as their
fitness to receive her blessings was concerned. Consequently the number of
her disciples increased and many of them were not of any high standard of
excellence. Referring to this, her companion Yogin-Ma once said: "Look at
the Master's disciples. Each one of them is a spiritual giant. And look at your
disciples, Mother." To this the Mother replied: "Is it to be wondered at? He
picked up the best type, and with what care he selected them! And towards
me he has pushed all this small fry, coming in their hundreds like ants!
Don’t compare his disciples with mine," Further she spoke to one disciple
about the significance of her initiation: "Whatever I have to give, I give at
the time of initiation. If you want peace immediately, practise the spiritual
discipline prescribed. Otherwise you will achieve it only after the fall of the
body." Another disciple protested against her liberality, saying that she was
giving initiation sometimes even to boys of ten and twelve who might not
even remember the Mantra, and that the number of these was so many that
she hardly remembered them. Her reply to this was: "My child, the Master
never forbade me to do so. He instructed me on many matters. Could he not
have told me something about this as well? I give the responsibility of my
disciples to the Master. Every day pray to him, saying, 'Please look after the
disciples wherever they may be.' Further I received these Mantras from the
Master himself. Through them one is sure to achieve perfection,'"
Once when she was badly ill a disciple noticed her getting up at 2.00 a.m. So
he asked her whether she was not sleeping well. Her reply was, "How can I,
my child'! All these children come to me with much earnestness and take
initiation, but most of them do not practise Japa regularly. Why regularly'?
They do not do anything at all. But since I have taken their responsibility,
should I not see to their welfare? Therefore I do Japa for their sake and pray
to the Master constantly, saying, 'Oh Lord! Awaken their consciousness.
Give them liberation. There is a great deal of suffering in the world. May
they not be born again!' "

How seriously she looked on her spiritual ministry, especially her work of
initiation, is evident from her words quoted above. She practically assumed
the spiritual responsibility of the disciple whom she initiated. Besides, it is
believed that she took upon herself the sins of the disciples and vicariously
suffered for them. Every disciple was a 'son' or a 'daughter' to her.

She was not very particular to observe any formal rituals when she gave
initiation, although she generally gave it after her daily worship of the
Master to previously fixed candidates. But often she overlooked all these
conventions and initiated disciples at any hour and under any condition.
There are instances of her initiating a lady, who was her intimate friend in
her girlhood, while both were resting on a bed after lunch: of initiating
another during the time of mourning which is considered as one of
defilement; of still others on a verandah, beneath the eaves of a house, on an
open meadow, or even in a railway yard with an umbrella to serve as roof
and the rain water from a pit as purificatory water. It would look that she
sometimes gave initiation as the result of an instantaneous impulse, as when
she imparted a Mantra occasionally while standing, or when some one held
her feet weeping with a heart yearning for initiation. Further there have been
cases of devotees who had never seen even a picture of hers before, but on
seeing her afterwards had recognised her as the 'human goddess' whom they
had seen in dream affording them protection in critical situations of life.
Some received initiation from her in dream, and found the Mantra given
them tallying exactly with what she gave afterwards in the waking state.

An initiation took her only a very short time a minute or two. This was so,
not because she did it casually, but because her spiritual insight was so quick
and unerring, resembling an inspiration. On this point she said once, "As
soon as I want to impart a Mantra to some people, there arise in the mind
such thoughts as, 'Give this' or 'Give that', whereas in other cases, it appears
as though I know nothing, and nothing seems to come up. I keep on sitting.
Then after some cogitation I visualise the Mantra. In the case of good
aspirants, the Mantra springs up instantaneously."

It is said that the Great Master left the Holy Mother on earth to demonstrate
the Motherhood of God. If one prefers, one can understand it in a theological
sense, but it will be evident that if universal love is the nature of God, then
that trait is amply exhibited by the Holy Mother in her remarkable life on
earth. Her spiritual ministry too exemplifies this. Just as a mother's affection
for an offspring is never inhibited by any weakness he may have, so the
Mother too accepted all devotees who went to her for protection, irrespective
of their merits. All were alike in the infinitude of her love their comparative
status in the moral and spiritual scales being obliterated in the very
immensity of it.

Her Exit from the World

After her pilgrimages in 1911 and 1912, there are no major incidents to
record in her life. She spent her days partly in Calcutta and partly at
Jayrambati, engaging herself in active spiritual ministry. From the end of
1919 her health declined fast. She was getting an intermittent fever, the
seriousness of which was not at first recognised. All local treatment was at
first tried, but as it had little effect, she was brought to Calcutta in a very
emaciated condition. It was diagnosed as Kala-Azaar (Black-water Fever) by
doctors. There was no effective treatment for it in those days and she
succumbed to it on 20th July 1920. Two remarkable happenings have to be
recorded in connection with her last days. It has been mentioned that her
attachment for Radhu was the main prop for her to sustain her physical life.
Now it was noticed that a few days before her demise, she became entirely
free from her strong bond of affection for Radhu. She, who could not till
then remain in a place without Radhu by her side, now asked her not to
come near her. On the other hand she wanted her to go to Jayrambati
immediately. When Radhu's infant child went near her, she asked it to be
carried away. When disciples and devotees pleaded with her on behalf of
Radhu, she openly declared that she had completely taken her mind away
from her. For Swami Saradananda and others, who knew the esoteric side of
the Mother's personality, it was an indication that she was leaving her
physical frame soon.
She was now fast sinking. Five days before her passing, an old devotee
named 'Mother of Annapurna' was called into her room. When the lady
expressed her fears about the future, the Mother remarked: "Why do you
fear? You have seen the Master. But I tell you one thing-if you want peace
of mind, do not find fault with others. Rather see your own faults. Learn to
make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger. The whole world is
your own." Perhaps this embodies her last message to the world also.

During the last three days she practically spoke nothing beyond calling
Swami Saradananda to her side and saying: "Sarat, I am going. Yogin,
Golap and the rest are here. You look after them."

Just before passing away, her face and body became dark and shrivelled, but
to the astonishment of all, a great change took place after life was extinct.
Her shrivelled form was found to relax, and her face swelled up and
assumed a radiant hue. Her countenance seemed to resemble the face of the
image of the Goddess Durga used in worship-mellow and golden in colour,
with the expression of calmness and serenity writ large on it. This expression
lingered on her face for a long time.

The body was taken in procession to the Belur Math compound where it was
cremated on the bank of the Ganga. A small beautiful temple now stands on
the site. Another temple with a monastery attached stands at Jayrambati, the
place of her birth, to commemorate her life and doings.

In her the world found a unique figure in its history, who combined in
herself the roles of a perfect wife, nun, mother and teacher at the same time.
In the endless procession of the members of the human species on this planet
of ours, the Holy Mother stands out as a unique example, whose utter
innocence could melt even the hardest of hearts, who never looked at the
fault of others, whose love never made any distinction between the
deserving and the undeserving, in whose eyes the saint and the sinner were
alike her precious children, whose wide heart held all humanity in its
maternal embrace, and who considered it a privilege to labour and to suffer
for even the least of them. If we cannot see here the face of the all-loving
Universal Mother, of God the Redeemer, where else can we? Only we
should have the sensitiveness to recognise that the subtle potency of love
transcends the obtrusive display of power.
Section I: First series
(Translated by Swami Nikhilananda)
Part 1: Recorded by Sarayubala Devi Udbodhan Office,
Calcutta
January, 1911

ONE Friday morning Sriman K-came to our home at Pataldanga in Calcutta

and said: "We shall go to Baghbazar to-morrow afternoon to pay our
respects to the Holy Mother. Please be ready at that time." Well, after all, I
shall now have the good fortune to prostrate myself at the feet of the Holy
Mother! Such was my exuberance of joy that I could hardly sleep during the
night. I had been living in Calcutta for the last fourteen or fifteen years. And
after such a length of time the Mother was gracious enough to afford me this
opportunity to pay my respects to her.

Next day in the afternoon we hired a carriage, fetched Sumati from the
Brahmo Girls School, and set out to the Holy Mother's house at Baghbazar. I
can hardly describe the eagerness and fervour which I felt at the time .of this
pilgrimage. I reached her house at Baghbazar and found her standing at the
door of the shrine room. She was standing with one foot at the door-sill and
the other on the door-mat. There was no veil on her head. Her left arm was
raised high and placed on the door, while the right one was hanging by the
side. The upper part of her body was bare. She had been looking wistfully as
if expecting somebody. As soon as I prostrated myself at her feet, she asked
Sumati about me. Sumati introduced me as her elder sister. She had been
visiting the Holy Mother for some time past. Then the Mother looked at me
and said, "Look here, my child, how much I am troubled by these people
here! My sister-in-law and her daughter, Radhu, are all down with fever. I
do not know who will look after them and nurse them. Will you wait for a
minute? Let me wash my cloth and come back." We waited and she returned
after a few minutes. Then she offered us two handfuls of some sweets and
asked me to share those with my sister. Sumati had to go back to her school.
Therefore we could not stay for a longer time. We saluted her and took leave
of her. The Mother said, "Come again." This interview of five minutes could
not satiate the inordinate hankering of my soul. I returned home all the more
thirsty.
12th February, 1911

When I went to the Udbodhan Office on this day, I found that the Holy
Mother had gone to the house of Balaram Bose. I had not to wait long before
she returned. As soon as I saluted her she asked me with a smile "Who has
accompanied you to-day?" "One of my nephews," I replied.

Mother: How are you today? How is your sister? You did not come for a
long time. 1 was anxious about you and thought you might not be doing
well.

I was surprised because I had met her once only and that just for five
minutes. But she had not forgotten us. My eyes were filled with tears of joy.

The Mother said with great tenderness, "You have come here, and I was
feeling restive at the house of Balaram."

I was completely taken aback. My sister Sumati had sent two woollen caps
through me for 'Khude', the baby nephew of the Holy Mother. I handed them
over to her. She expressed much joy at these trifles. She sat on the bed and
said, "Sit by me here." I sat by her side. The Mother said with great
tenderness, "It seems, my child, as if I have met you many a time before, as
if we know each other for a long time." “I do not know," said I, "I was here
one day only for five minutes."

The Mother laughed and began to speak highly of the devotion and sincerity
of mine and my sister's. But I do not know how far I deserve those
compliments. Gradually many women devotees assembled. All of them
looked wistfully and with great love at the smiling and compassionate face
of the Mother. I had never seen such a sight before. My mind was feasting
upon the spiritual joy, when someone reminded me that the carriage was
ready for my return. The Mother at once left her seat and offered me some
Prasada. She held these before me and said, "Eat these!" I felt shy of eating
in the presence of others without sharing. The Mother said, "Why do you
hesitate? Take these sweets." I accepted the offerings in my hand. I bowed
down before her and took my leave. She said "Come again. Can you go
down the steps alone, or shall I go with you '?" She came with me as far as
the staircase. I said, “I can go alone. You need not take trouble." The Mother
said in parting, "Come another day in the morning." I returned with a sense
of fulfilment and thought, "What a wonderful love!"

14th May, 1911

No sooner had I prostrated myself before the Holy Mother today than she
said, "It is fine that you have come. I was thinking all the time about you.
Why did you not come all these days?"

Devotee: I was not in Calcutta. I was at my father's house.

Mother: What is the matter with Sumati? She has not come here for a long
time. Is she very busy with her studies?

Devotee: Her husband was not here.

Mother: Well, she goes to school. Do they follow the duties of the world?

Devotee: We do not know, Mother, what the world is and what our duty is.
You alone know that.

The Mother smiled. "What a warm day!" she said, and gave me a fan. "Ah
dear, you took a hurried meal and ran up here. Now lie down by my side."

A mat was spread on the floor. I hesitated to lie on her bed. But she said,
"Why do you hesitate? Lie down! Listen to my words!" I could not help
lying down. The Mother became drowsy and I lay silent. A few women
devotees and two nuns arrived. One of the nuns was middle-aged while the
other was young: The Mother said, with her eyes closed, "Who is there? Is it
Gaurdasi?" The young nun said, "How did you know it, Mother?" The
Mother said that she felt so. After a few moments she sat up. The young nun
then said: "We had been to the Belur Math. Swami Premananda fed us
sumptuously. When he is there, one cannot return from the Math without
being fed thus." The Mother gently reprimanded some one of the party for
not having put the vermilion mark on her forehead, such a mark being
obligatory on every married woman if her husband is alive.

Gauri-Ma learnt about me from the Holy Mother and invited me to her girls'
school. About sixty girls were attending the school. She asked me if I knew