Essay Interview

Akshaya Akilan

501108433

Toronto Metropolitan University

CLD231 -021: Physical Development

Professor Janelle Brady

November 17, 2022

1. What are some ways your childs’ centre makes you and your child feel a sense of
belonging?
- One thing that really resonates with me is that my child's ECE is just having a
simple conversation with the staff during drop off and pick up. This shows me
that they also see me as a friend and ali rather than just the child's mother.
- I also really appreciate receiving the activities the ECEs plan out for the children
such as Mothers Day, Christmas etc.

2. What are some suggestions you would recommend for your childs’ centre to
implement more family-centred practices?
- Something I would like to see in my child’s centre is more diversity and culture. It
is visible that they value some cultures over others. For example, for halloween
they are having a whole festival for the children and families to dress up and have
fun but for Diwali they gave the children Mango Lassi for snack.

3. How would you describe your relationship with your child's Early Childhood
Educator?
- Always communicating what their child did in the day.
- Always gives a notice on diapers and wipe restocks.
- Able to have fun and friendly conversations with them during pick up and drop
off.
- Their child likes the ECE and enjoys going to daycare which means they also
have a good relationship.

4. Out of the seven sources of tension: logistical matter, emotional responses,

preconceived ideas and misconceptions, different values, beliefs and world views,
difference in power and status, different roles and scope of function, and unclear
policies which have affected your relationship with the centre the most.
- When I first started bringing my oldest child here, I was working two jobs. There were a
couple incidents where I picked them up late by about 10-20 mins due to work. I do still
feel very bad about it, however it was very unexpected or else I would have arranged
someone else to pick them up.
- My son is very affectionate and always wants to be cuddled or carried. Although I loved
this about him, I knew we had to stop or decrease this habit. I told the ECE in the room
not to hug or cuddle my son when is upset, and instead talk to and try to get him to
communicate his feelings.

5. Are there any bad experiences you’ve experienced that you feel comfortable
sharing?
- The only bad experience I’ve ever encountered was my child getting injured,
however I understand that it was out of the ECE’s control. My child fell while
 playing on the tricycles and scraped his knee really badly. The ECE handled the
situation very well, by helping him disinfect it and filling in an accident report to
let me know. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't consider this a bad experience
since accidents are bound to happen and the ECE was very helpful.

6. How does your child’s centre actively communicate any information including
updates, concerns, reminders etc.?
- For my youngest, the centre uses an app that logs their daily activities. I can see
what they ate, how much they ate, diaper changes, outdoor play, etc.
- The centre also posts pictures of the childrens activities.
- They hand out flyers for special events
- For restocking reminders, they will remind me a week in advance when I go to
pick up or drop off.
- They also communicate with me through small talk during pick up or drop off.

7. How would you describe your style of parenting?

- I don't believe there is a right or wrong parenting style. I believe that parenting
styles will vary with families since we all experience the world so differently.
- Personally, I like to be in the know of my children and make them feel
comfortable enough to be able to come to me and tell me what's going on.
- My children follow a strict schedule when it comes to naps, eating, bedtime,
playtime and screen time. They have gotten used to their daily routines so now
they are able to prepare before me telling them. They are limited to 30 mins of
screen time a day.
- It is very common that parents change their parenting style with each child,
however mine has stayed the same as this method works really well for my family
and I.

How has the pandemic affected your family and lifestyle?

- Although the pandemic was very unfortunate, it brought us a lot closer together as a
family. I was working from home so the kids stayed home with me as well. We spent
everyday inside trying to find new ways to keep us busy.
- Online school was very difficult for the kids and I ended up being the one teaching them.
Like I said before I only allowed 30 minutes of screen time a day which changed
drastically with online school.
- When I got Covid, I quarantined my room and it lasted about 2 weeks. The kids had a
very hard time adjusting to this, however my husband did an amazing job with everything
and reassuring them that everything would be okay. It was very hard for me because I felt
very disconnected from my children and I felt like I wasn't there for them when they
needed me the most.
 Conversing with this interviewee allowed me to relate a lot of their experiences back to

the course materials and readings. This interview helped me gain a better understanding of the

themes and theories learned in class. I was able to expand the comprehension of my knowledge

when it was applied in real life scenarios. Three emergent themes I recognized are Marxism,

sources of tension, and parenting styles. An emergent theme we focused on are numerous

theoretical approaches to analysing family dynamics. These theories include, functionalism,

marxism, symbolic interactionism, exchange theory, family systems theory, and developmental

theories. A theory I was able to recognize when conducting the interview was marxism.

Marxismwas was originated by philosophers Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. This theory refers

to the ideology that “distinct phases in human history shape, alter, and constrain human

relations” (Brady, 2022). The interviewee expressed how COVID-19 affected their family's

lifestyle and describes this change as drastic. A marxist would describe the lifestyle shift this

family experienced as the aftermath of facing something as historic and intense as the pandemic.

Fortunately, the lockdown brought them closer together and strengthened their relationships as

they nurtured each other during such a challenging time, which outweighed the repercussions

they did face. Generally, COVID-19 has impacted families all over the world and will continue

to cause family dynamics to evolve as it becomes a historic period in our lives. Moreover, the

seven sources of tension are an emergent theme that closely relates to parent engagement. The

seven sources of tension include, logistical matters, emotional responses, preconceived ideas and

misconceptions, different values, beliefs and world views, difference in power and status,

different roles and scope of function, and unclear policies. The two sources of tension that are

relevant to my interviewees experience are logistical matters, and emotional responses.

Logistical matters refers to factors such as availability, time, and documentation. These factors
are important in order to help the staff and caregivers stay on track and be punctual for the

child’s needs. The interviewee mentions there was a period of time when work was pushing her

to her limits which challenged her time management. This created some tension as there were a

couple incidents where she was late to pick up her child. These incidents were unexpected and

although the Early Childhood Educator was understanding, it is still a very frustrating process as

so many new logistical factors get involved such as paper work, phone calls, and working

overtime. The tension of emotional responses refers to judgement and blame, affection,

balancing care and professionalism, and insecurities. (Brady, 2022) My interviewee expressed

her child’s battle with using affection to avoid communication. She told her son's educator that

she does not want them to cuddle or carry him when something is wrong, and instead get him to

communicate his feelings. This prompts tension as the educator may not agree with the mothers

personal beliefs and values which leads to judgements. The educator also has to accept and

follow the mothers requests in order to maintain the balance between professionalism and care.

Furthermore, an emergent theme that was pertinent to the interviewee was her parenting styles.

After hearing her views and the measures she takes when it comes to parenting, I was able to

confidently classify it as intensive parenting. Intensive parenting describes a parenting style

which requires intense attentiveness, while also staying on top of your children's needs in every

aspect such as, financially, emotionally, physically, etc.This mother stressed the importance of

following strict routines with both of her children. She also mentioned that since these rules have

been embedded into her children's lifestyle they automatically know what is needed for the daily

routines and when they occur. She also likes to stay in the loop of her child's emotions and

school by practising the importance of communication with her children. Intensive parenting is

also followed by a lot of guilt. I was able to notice signs of this guilt while she spoke about her
experience with COVID-19. She had to be isolated for 2 weeks which took a toll on her. She felt

like she wasn't there for her children which made her feel like she was failing to meet the

expectations of being a mother. This mother expressed how her diverse needs were not met at her

childs centre. She mentioned how her centre values more westernised traditions and holidays

over others which causes conflict with her parent engagement. One comparison she provided was

that for Halloween they had a whole festival with costumes and candy, however for Diwali they

only served mango lassi during snack time without informing the children about the significance

of the day or what it is about. Moreover, COVID-19 shifted their experience with education in

multiple ways. One of the rules this mother set for her children was 30 minutes of screen time a

day. When schools switched to online, she was forced to overlook this rule for the sake of their

education. This did not sit well with her because she does not feel it is healthy for children to

stare at a screen for an excessive amount of time. She worked hard enforcing these rules and

following guidelines that vanished in the blink of an eye as a result of COVID-19. This mother

mentioned that online school was very challenging. Her children were not used to listening to a

screen so it was very difficult for them to grasp the information being taught. This mother had to

step in and educate her children herself which can be very stressful and frustrating. She was now

viewing her child as a student rather than a child which can be very confusing. She was not

taught how to teach children maths, science, English, etc. However, if she failed to educate them

she would carry that burden and guilt. This interview put the course material into perspective

which allowed for more learning opportunities. This also gave the interviewee the opportunity to

express and communicate her feelings with topics such as education, battle COVID-19, and the

child care system. Overall, this interview was very beneficial and informative for the both of us.
 Work cited

Albanese, P. (2022). Canadian Families Today, 5th edition. Oxford University Press,

Canada

Brady, J. (2022). Week 1-2 lecture slides: Understanding Families, Families in a

Canadian Context I

Brady, J. (2022). Week 4 lecture slides: Resolving Conflicts, Families in a Canadian

Context I

Brady, J. (2022). Week 6 lecture slides:Children and Parenting: Cultural Expectations and

Social Realities, Families in a Canadian Context I