#4 - using personal issues as a reason to treat someone poorly

Title: Unjustified Homophobia

"Homosexuals are notoriously known for sexually assaulting everyone, so that could
be why they hate the community. And they deserve all the hate. Some of you call
these victims homophobic, but none of you truly know what it's like in their
shoes." This was a comment I saw under a post calling out homophobia and their
negative effects. Of course, since it's the Philippines, the audience was split.
But so was I after reading their comment. I felt awful and pity for these victims
for having to go through that, but at the same time, conflicted, as it felt wrong
for unjustly blaming an entire community completely unrelated to their problem. It
terrified me to see that so many people agreed with their statement, and I wondered
if many more thought the same, and used this as a reason to hate even more on the
community. Is it perfectly fine to pin the blame on a marginalized group of people,
when all the similarity they have to roaming sexual predators, is their sexuality?

To start off, what causes sexual violence in the first place? There are various
factors that may lead to an occurance of such act. However, it is critical to
recognize the fact that the ones that are to blame are the aggressors, not the
victims themselves. It is also important to understand that they are not
"provoking" the perpetrators in the first place, rather, although frequently
debated, these aggressive acts may come from a sense of entitlement and the need
for power. In shorter terms: dominance. There can be numerous reasons as to why
there would be such demand, but often times, there are no specifically targeted
groups of people in which these unfortunate situations happen. But therein lies the
question: how do you know who is capable of doing it then? As much of a tough pill
it is to swallow, anyone being pushed to the edge, whether caused by themselves or
external factors, and as much as they may seem like a trustworthy and reliable
person, they will ultimately be capable of doing so, although eerily depending if
they choose to act irresponsibly on their sick, and twisted desires or not. Sexual
violence is motivated by a variety of factors that are hard to measure. And so are
perpetrators, who have a variety of social standings, histories, and, of course,
personalities and mentalities. To repeat, it can be anyone.

To some extent, a predator's goal is to "recieve payment" for what they are
supposedly "entitled" to. And that, although the victim may be refusing or
outwardly saying "no", in their perception, they are merely 'playing hard to get'.
Calling these offenders as "egocentric" would be a meager understatement. Often
times, they are unable to empathize with other people, and even at times,
consciously refusing to do so. Rather, they choose to live in their own messed up
bubble, where only their own needs should be selfishly met for the sake of
dehumanizing others. Social scientists and activists alike, stress the idea that
sexual violence nearly exclusively is not about lust nor desire, but rather
prompted by the need to control and overpower someone. Sherry Hamby, a research
professor of Psychology at the University of the South in the US State of
Tennessee, reports to DW (Deutsche Welle) that "sexual assault is not about sexual
gratification or sexual interest, but more about dominating people." Anyone we know
can or has already been an offender, and it is crucial to acknowledge the fact that
sexual violence is never driven by the sake of gratification or attraction, but
oppression itself.

Do these abusers specifically pick who to target then? Unfortunately, no. In

wretched situations like these, anyone can be selected to be the sufferer of these
heinous acts. No matter your race, age, gender, nor identity, you will always
ultimately be at risk. These criminals don't cherry-pick who to abuse or who to
inflict lifetime trauma or scarring on. They don't specify who they would choose to
be the vessel of their perverse impulses and inclinations. It is best explained by
the overused phrase: "being in the wrong place at the wrong time". Sometimes, it is
best to separate these attackers from their identity itself. As these actions were
created from their lechery deep within, rather from their experiences and labels
that have shaped them throughout the years.

It is without a doubt, that despite the best efforts of our government and the
law, sexual violence still runs rampant. However, let us not forget that despite
our pain and grief, we mustn't unjustifiably blame a completely different sector of
people. Given, we as a whole are allowed to express our anguish freely, but in that
vulnerable state, we should prevent negativity from spreading even more, rather
than harboring hate to an innocent group as a whole. These aggressors could be
anyone we know, despite their misleading social standing and identity. Rather than
sexual attraction, all they are desperate for is assertion of their oppression and
dominance. And lastly, we should separate the attacker from their identity itself,
and although they may share a similarity to a completely different community of
people (for example, homosexuality), that is all there is to it. To be direct, no.
Despite the all the rumors and snide comments that tell you otherwise, the queer
community as a whole are not molesters, rapists, or abusers. All they share with
the aforementioned criminals, is unfortunately their sexuality.

A small note that I was unfortunately not able to include in the essay:

I do truly sympathize with the victims of sexual violence, and I am genuinely

hoping that this essay does not come off as victim-blaming or that I am completely
disregarding their experiences, or labeling it as something not valid. I will never
truly know what it is like to be in their shoes, and I genuinely do hope that
things get better for them. Looking for something or someone to blame is a natural
process of grieving, however, it felt wrong for me to just stand by and watch an
entire community being unjustifiably blamed for something that they are not
responsible for. I hope that these people have recieved professional help and are
now healing. I have no intent of offending anyone with this essay. And if I did, I
apologize with the bottom of my heart.