D’Aloisio 1

Diana D’Aloisio

DuFresne

10 LC

November 8, 2022

Extended Narrative Reflection

Recently I wrote an Extended Narrative about how I got into Golf. I chose to write about

this because it is something that has impacted my life greatly and a skill I want to carry as I get

older. In my extended narrative, I liked how I incorporated similes like “I told my brother, and he

was happy as a reprieved thief.” and “I am scared like a jackrabbit that has heard the howl of a

wolf.” I included this in my narrative because it gives the reader a better understanding of how I

feel and an example of showing instead of telling. I liked how I included what I learned from this

sport and how I will carry it on in the future. To me, every moment in your life teaches you a

lesson and this sport has taught me plenty of things that I will carry for the rest of my life. In my

narrative, I also included the three types of dialogue which are dialogue first, sandwich dialogue

and dialogue last like, “Yeah, I remember you mentioning that, but didn’t you say tryouts are

next week? I have no experience.” I said -- I than say “I'll think about it.” “Ladies, may I have

your attention” Coach Schoonover shouts “We will split you guys into groups of 5 and you will

play 9 holes." In my narrative I could have improved on dialogue. I kept saying “said” after each

time a person said something because I did not want to use too many alternatives like “shouts,

yells” but the said got too repetitive. My extended narrative was lengthy which is not bad, and I

am proud of my writing, but some details were not needed. I struggle with the number of details I

should be adding so on future writings I need to keep that in mind.