I've always struggled with finding joy in life.

I often ask myself, “what would it look and

feel like to know that life is worth living”? Every couple of years we visit our extended family in
Vermont. Even though we don't see them often, our bond is very strong. My cousins live on a
plot of land with a house that has a cute little pond and acres of bushes and forest. I remember
being younger and venturing into the woods to pick blueberries, sometimes we would be lucky
and find little strawberries. I don’t usually enjoy blueberries, but these succulent little pops of
color were delicious. Not far from their house is a strawberry patch. One year the strawberries
were so big and bursting with flavor that they were absolutely the best strawberries I've ever
had. Once you bite into the ruby berry a burst of sweet juice would fill your mouth and then your
taste buds would soon be greeted with the tart kick. They tasted so fresh and sweet. If we
collected enough of the little orbs and ruby gems, we could make a cobbler. When we hunted
for blueberries my aunt's goats would follow close behind. Their little hooves clopped on the
rocks and soft ground. This is the point at which I learned I can feel joy, and it's not as hard to
find as I may think.
One day, as I walk further in the woods, leaving my family behind. I find a zip line tied to
two big trees.
“Wait up!” said my uncle.
He helped me climb up the wooden shelf and sit I down on the little blue saucer.
“Alright, keep your feet up and out, and be ready to push away when you fling into the
tree.”
He pushes me down the steep metal line, and the sharp zipping sound rings in my ear.
The end of the zipline is coming up so I put my legs up and push off the tree. I jump down and
high-five my uncle.
Later, my aunt brings us down to the stable to introduce us to new family members: two
horses. My aunt and I both share the similarity of love for all animals. One of the horses is
named Dusty, he's my favorite. His coat is a reddish brown color that shines in the sun. His
brassy main is a dark brown. He's an interesting horse. He's not smart, and he’s full of
personality. When he's happy he lifts his head and shows us his big teeth, while his tongue
twists and twirls off to the side.
“ Hi, little goaties!” I yell in a high-pitched voice, the same one I use whenever I talk to a
cute animal.
The goats trot towards me waging their little tails. The horses and the goats live in the
same pen. Every day we are there, we visit them to bring treats like cereal, carrots, and apples -
but their absolute favorite treat are mints. The goats smack their little lips and reach their
tongues out to try to grab the mint. Dusty gets excited and smacks his lips as well.

The East coast tends to be more humid than Colorado, and the musky smell of rain
lingers everywhere. Many people think the smell of musk is gross, but for me, it's a
memory-filled scent. When I breathe in the fresh smell my mind automatically trails off to the
memory of my grandma's cabin. In the cabin, I ate my first lobster and played with toys my mom
grew up with, and got my first bee sting. When you walked into the cabin you were greeted with
a small kitchen, and on the left a narrow flight of stairs leading to a hot upstairs room. This is
where I played with the toys and learned what that wonderful smell that filled my nose was
called. Vermont and Rhode Island may be small states with not much going on, but the
memories I have of these places fill my mind will joy. The last time I visited my family, is when
my life started to be worth it. It's hard to find little pieces of joy in a life filled with struggle, and
this project really pushed me to find a memory that was joyful and where I was happy. The
struggles of teen life and adolescence are hard for many, and I think we could all benefit from
digging deep into childhood to recover lost memories that bring us joy.