Grace Edwards

Leading Across Cultures

November 19, 2021
Leadership Project

I was warned before I came to Denmark that studying abroad is not easy for everyone.

For people who suffer from poor mental health or are prone to homesickness, studying abroad

often brings major challenges. I have never been especially homesick at camp or in college, so I

brushed these warnings aside. I was surprised when, a few weeks into the semester, I could not

shake a nagging feeling of dread. Some of it was homesickness; little things like not being able

to buy American candy and having a language barrier when ordering at a restaurant can build up

and cause frustration. The more dominant feeling I had was a fear of not having enough fun. We

are all told that studying abroad will be the best time of our lives, but no one tells us that it will

still be real life. Behind Instagram posts of European weekend trips are weeks that are

overloaded with school work and days where you do nothing but go to class and the grocery

store. Early on in the semester, if I spent a Friday night at home, I would feel guilty that I was

not out exploring some new bar with friends. If I “wasted” a Sunday on homework and

relaxation, I would be sure to stay out of my apartment all day on Monday. I was feeling burnt

out and anxious about running out of time.

Around halfway through the semester, I started to realize that I was not alone in these

feelings. A few of my friends started bringing up how exhausted they were or how they felt like

if they did not go on a trip every single weekend, they would be failing at the study abroad

experience. We had all been having similar experiences and once we voiced how we were

feeling, I think we all felt a little better.

As we near the end of the semester, I have noticed that some of the stressors from early

on in the semester have returned. We are running out of time to make the most of our time
abroad and we are simultaneously at our most burnt out. An additional source of anxiety is the

sudden Covid-19 spike in Denmark; suddenly the Covid-free life we grew used to is getting

more restrictive. While it may be inevitable that we’ll finish the semester wishing we had done

more, I think there are tangible things that I can do to lessen these feelings of anxiety and

inadequacy for myself and my peers.

I can only really affect the people around me, but I believe that this can have a ripple

effect. Social circles are not tight-knit or exclusive because none of us really know each other

well. My program has over 900 students, but word travels fast, and I’m sure that attitudes do too.

In considering what I can do to make the last month count for my friends and me, I

thought a lot about Aaron Ausland’s concept of “staying for tea.” His idea pertained mostly to

service-based visits to other countries, but I believe it can serve as a method of thinking about

how we interact with any culture with which we are in close proximity. For students in my study

abroad program, staying for tea may offer a solution to some of the burnout we are experiencing.

While it is wonderful that we can so easily travel to other countries in Europe, we are in

Denmark to be immersed in the culture. Participating in a program of so many Americans can

sometimes mean that we do not actually interact with many Danes. It may be difficult to go to all

of the countries on our list at this point in the semester, but it is not too late to go to a great

locals’ bar and talk to some Danes.

My hope is that, in this last month, our conversations with Danes can break from the

script that these interactions have more or less followed in the past. Instead of just talking about

Danish and American politics or the differences between our countries, I hope that we can move

into some more interesting territory. At this point, we all know the basics about Danish culture

and we have even delved deeper into the backgrounds of their cultural norms. Now what we are
missing are the stories of individual people. By staying for tea, we can learn things that we might

never learn from a textbook or in a classroom. I will be encouraging my friends to join me in

seeking out these conversations so that we can leave Denmark having made some meaningful

connections with Danish people.

The next step in my plan to reduce the feelings of homesickness, stress, and anxiety

among my peers is to make a collaborative and achievable bucket list for our last month. I plan

to invite the people on my floor to get together over coffee or drinks one night and create a list of

things we want to do before we leave. I believe this will offer us a sense of organization and

control. It will be helpful to figure out things we want to prioritize and which we can go without.

Of course, we do not have to do everything together and everyone is welcome to make their own

bucket list, but I think it will be helpful to start thinking about our goals.

I was also inspired by Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linksy’s article “Leading with an

Open Heart.” To Heifetz and Linsky, leading with an open heart means leading with innocence,

curiosity, and compassion. I think that the way I can do this most in this situation is to have

honest and open conversations with my friends about how they are doing. I saw earlier in the

semester how this relieved some of our anxieties and I am sure that it will once again make us all

feel better to talk about it. On my part, this will require vulnerability. If I want people to share

their thoughts and insecurities, I will have to be willing to do so myself. When these

conversations actually happen, I need to make sure that I maintain compassion and curiosity

throughout. Just because I am sensing that we are all feeling the same way does not mean that we

necessarily are. If people have other stressors or are upset about other things, I want them to also

have a safe space to share. By having these conversations, we can create a mutual support system

that will strengthen all of us for the remainder of the semester.

 I am also going to start planning group events on our floor. With Covid numbers rising,

some people are feeling hesitant to go out to bars and clubs, so there is a need to create

community now more than ever. I do not think these events necessarily need to be very

structured. For example, we recently held a listening party for Taylor Swift’s new album and I

think we would all say it was strangely therapeutic. We also do regular movie nights. Even just

casually hanging out in the common room draws other people out of their rooms and makes them

feel a little less isolated. I do not think it takes a lot to create community in our current living

situation, but someone needs to lead the way.

I feel better equipped to take on this leadership challenge than I was before this semester

because of the personal growth I have had. Living abroad and traveling through Europe has

opened my eyes to the complexity and variety of the human experience. I think it is easier to be

empathetic when you have absorbed different cultures and embraced other perspectives.

Travelling has helped me build a toolbox of perspectives that I can utilize in my future leadership

challenges.

For the remainder of the semester, I am going to lead primarily by example in hopes that

my attitude and outlook are infectious. I’m going to make a final effort to connect with some

Danes on a more individual level and encourage my friends to do the same. I am also going to

take the concrete steps of planning group events and inviting my peers to work with me on a

collaborative bucket list. I will initiate vulnerable conversations so that we can all know that we

are not alone if we are not happy all the time while studying abroad. There is a month left in the

semester, which leaves us plenty of time to check off some of the items on our bucket list and

make deeper connections with one another. I cannot wait to make the last month count.
 References

Ausland, A. (2005). Staying for tea: Five principles for the community service volunteer. The

Global Citizen, Spring 2005.

Heifetz, R. A., & Linsky, M. (2002). Leading with an open heart. Leader to Leader, Fall 2002

(No. 26).