Qualification

Accredited

GCSE (9–1)
Candidate Exemplar Responses

ENGLISH
LANGUAGE
J351
For first teaching in 2015

Component 01:
Communicating
information and ideas
Section B (Writing)
Version 1

www.ocr.org.uk/english
GCSE (9–1) English Language Candidate Exemplar Responses

Contents
Introduction 3

Script A
Exemplar Response 4
Commentary 8
Script B
Exemplar Response 9
Commentary 11
Script C
Exemplar Response 12
Commentary 14
Script D
Exemplar Response 15
Commentary 18
Script E
Exemplar Response 19
Commentary 22
Script F
Exemplar Response 23
Commentary 26
Script G
Exemplar Response 27
Commentary 28
Script H
Exemplar Response 29

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GCSE (9–1) English Language Candidate Exemplar Responses

Introduction
This resource has been produced by a senior member of
the GCSE (9–1) English Language examining team to offer
teachers an insight into how the assessment objectives
are applied. It has taken the two high mark questions
from the sample question paper and used them to
illustrate how the questions might be answered and
provide some commentary on what factors contribute to
overall levels.

As these responses have not been through full

moderation, they are banded to give an indication of the
level of each response.

Please note that this resource is provided for advice and

guidance only and does not in any way constitute an
indication of grade boundaries or endorsed answers.

The sample assessment material for these answers and

commentary can be found on the GCSE (9–1) English
Language web page and accessed via the following
link: http://www.ocr.org.uk/qualifications/gcse-english-
language-j351-from-2015/

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GCSE (9–1) English Language Candidate Exemplar Responses

SCRIPT A
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict
between people.
In your speech you should:
• explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones
• give some examples to support your argument
• convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 6; AO6: Level 4

This works on a series of very well linked and interconnected

scales and is infused throughout with a lively confidence,
wide-ranging knowledge and a tone of well-modulated moral
outrage suited to the purpose of the task. The genre and
audience have been clearly understood and are focused on
consistently in a sophisticated structure. An ambitious range
of vocabulary and sentence structures has been deployed to
create a series of very effective moments.

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GCSE (9–1) English Language Candidate Exemplar Responses

SCRIPT B
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict
between people.
In your speech you should:
• explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones
• give some examples to support your argument
• convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

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GCSE (9–1) English Language Candidate Exemplar Responses

Commentary
AO5: Level 5; AO6: Level 4

The candidate argues their viewpoint with impressive force

and concision. There is a confident sense of the task and an
effective head on approach to the audience. The insistent
tone is sustained and developed with convincing and detailed
examples. The use of a range of vocabulary and sentence
structures enhances the piece significantly. More detail and
linguistic flair may have helped to move this response in the
higher band AO5.

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SCRIPT C
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope
with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or
presentational features.
In your article you should:
• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face
• suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with
• explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 4; AO6: Level 3

There is a clear structure to this and the tone/style is not

inappropriate. The audience is addressed with some awareness
and sensitivity. The expression is clear and secure. In places
it lapses into cliché and assertion and the development of
argument and idea is limited. More rigorous planning and more
thoughtful language choices may have moved this response
into a higher band.

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SCRIPT D
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope
with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or
presentational features.
In your article you should:
• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face
• suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with
• explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 4; AO6: Level 3

The genre is engaged with a good range of points, some of

which are effectively and neatly made. There is a clear sense
of the topic and audience throughout. The piece is well
organised. In order to move into Level 5, this piece would need
to show a more strongly sustained tone and register to enable
greater coherence and cohesion.

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SCRIPT E
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict
between people.
In your speech you should:
• • explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones
• • give some examples to support your argument
• • convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 3; AO6: Level 2

The response shows an awareness of the task purpose; there

is a direct address/appeal to the audience couched in fairly
straightforward ways. The style and register aren’t always
appropriate and it becomes repetitive towards the end of the
piece as it struggles slightly to stay in touch with the purpose.
Sentence structures are under control, if limited in their
variety. The expression isn’t always secure and there are some
punctuation errors. More planning might have improved the
final outcome.

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SCRIPT F
Write an article for a teenage magazine which gives advice to young people on how to cope
with the pressures and stresses of modern life. You are not required to include any visual or
presentational features.
In your speech you should:
• identify some of the pressures and stresses that young people face
• suggest why these issues may be difficult to deal with
• explain some of the ways in which these can be managed. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 3; AO6: Level 2

There is an awareness of purpose and audience, which is

sustained throughout. The response lacks a clearly drawn
conclusion but the tone and register are basically appropriate.
Expression is mostly secure.

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SCRIPT G
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict
between people.
In your speech you should:
• explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones
• give some examples to support your argument
• convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 2; AO6: Level 1

This response has a basic sense of the genre but it is repetitive

and disorganised. The expression is insecure.

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SCRIPT H
Write a speech for your class in which you argue that violence is not the solution to conflict
between people.
In your speech you should:
• explain why peaceful solutions are better than violent ones
• give some examples to support your argument
• convince your audience that violence does not solve conflict. [40]

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Commentary
AO5: Level 1; AO6: Level 1

One paragraph of simple description. Expression is insecure.

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