WEEK 5- ESL- IELTS WRITING- 10B2 HANDOUTS

Writing Paragraph- Revision (cont.)

1. Details that don’t fit

Circle the two items that do not support the topic sentence.

1. Topic sentence: Carla seems attracted only to men who are unavailable.

1. She once fell in love with a man serving a life sentence in prison.

2. Her parents worry about her inability to connect with a nice single man.

3. She wants to get married and have kids before she is thirty.

4. Her current boyfriend is married.

5. Recently she had a huge crush on a Catholic priest.

2. Topic sentence: Some dog owners have little consideration for other people.

1. Obedience lessons can be a good experience for both the dog and the owner.

2. Some dog owners let their dogs leave droppings on the sidewalk or in other people’s yards.

3. They leave the dog home alone for hours, and it barks and howls and wakes the neighbors.

4. Some people keep very large dogs in small apartments.

5. Even when small children are playing nearby, owners let their bad- tempered dogs run
loose.

3. Topic sentence: Dr. Eliot is a very poor teacher.

1. He cancels class frequently with no explanation.

2. When a student asks a question that he can’t answer, he becomes irritated with the student.

3. He got his PhD at a university in another country.

4. He’s taught at the college for many years and is on a number of faculty committees.

5. He puts off grading papers until the end of the semester, and then returns them all at once.

4. Topic sentence: Some doctors seem to think it is all right to keep patients waiting.

1. Pharmaceutical sales representatives sometimes must wait hours to see a doctor.

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2. The doctors stand in the hallway chatting with nurses and secretaries even when they have
a waiting room full of patients.

3. Patients sometimes travel long distances to consult with a particular doctor.

4. When a patient calls before an appointment to see if the doctor is on time, the answer is
often yes even when the doctor is two hours behind schedule.

5. Some doctors schedule appointments in a way that ensures long lines, to make it appear
that they are especially skillful.

2. Writing Specific Details

1. Topic sentence: Those who serve in the military make many sacrifices.

a. They leave their families to serve on tours of duty.

b.

2. Topic sentence: Sabrina has such a positive outlook on life.

a. When she lost her job, she contacted an employment agency right away.

b.

3. Topic sentence: There are many advantages to group work.

a. Everyone has talents to contribute.

b.

4. Topic sentence: Everyone should take measures to prevent identity theft.

a. Passwords should be changed regularly.

b.

3. Providing Support

1. Topic sentence: None of the shirts for sale were satisfactory.

a. Some were attractive but too expensive.
b.

c.

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2. Topic sentence: It is a special time for me when my brother is in town.
a. We always catch the latest sci-fi thriller and then stop for pizza.
b.

c.

3. Topic sentence: Our neighbor’s daughter is very spoiled.

a. When anyone else in the family has a birthday, she gets several presents too.
b.

c.

4. Omitting and Grouping Details in Planning a Paragraph

Write A in front of the details that go with one group, B in front of the details that go with a
second group, and C in front of the details that make up a third group. Cross out the four details
that do not relate to the topic sentence.

Topic sentence: My brother Sean caused our parents lots of headaches when he was a teenager.
_________In constant trouble at school
_________While playing a joke on his lab partner, nearly blew up the chemistry lab
_________Girlfriend was eight years older than he and had been married twice
_________Girlfriend had a very sweet four-year-old son
_________Parents worried about people Sean spent his time with
_________Several signs that he was using drugs
_________Failed so many courses that he had to go to summer school in order to graduate
_________Was suspended twice for getting into fights between classes
_________Our father taught math at the high school we attended
_________His money just disappeared, and he never had anything to show for it
_________His best pal had been arrested for armed robbery
_________Often looked glassy-eyed
_________Hung around with older kids who had dropped out of school
_________Until he was in eighth grade, he had always been on the honor roll
_________No one was allowed in his room, which he kept locked
whenever he was away from home

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_________Has managed to turn his life around now that he’s in college

5. Using Listing Order

Number each supporting sentence 1, 2, 3, . . . so that you go from the least important item to
what is presented as the most important item.

Topic sentence: I am no longer a big fan of professional sports, for a number of reasons.
_________Basketball and hockey continue well into the baseball season, and football doesn’t have
its Super Bowl until the middle of winter, when basketball should be at center stage.
_________In addition, I detest the high fives, taunting, and trash talk that so many professional
athletes now indulge in during games.
_________Second, I am bothered by the length of professional sports seasons.
_________Also, professional athletes have no loyalty to a team or city, as they greedily sell their
abilities to the highest bidder.
_________For one thing, greed is the engine running professional sports.
_________There are numerous news stories of professional athletes in trouble with the law
because of drugs, guns, fights, traffic accidents, or domestic violence.
_________After a good year, athletes making millions become unhappy if they aren’t rewarded
with a new contract calling for even more millions.
_________But the main reason I’ve become disenchanted with professional sports is the
disgusting behavior of so many of its athletes.

6. Using Time Order

Number the supporting sentences in the order in which they occur in time (1, 2, 3, . . .).

Topic sentence: If you have difficulty sleeping, the following steps should help you sleep better.

_________Also avoid taking naps during the daytime.

_________A good night’s sleep starts by getting up early each morning.
_________During the evening, avoid drinking caffeine, which is a stimulant.
_________Finally, go to bed at a reasonable and regular time each evening.
_________During the daytime, fit regular exercise into your schedule.
_________Before you go to bed, avoid reading.
_________First, check with your doctor to rule out medical problems such as sleep apnea.
_________In addition, avoid watching TV before you go to bed.

7. Omitting Off- Target Sentences

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The numbers of the off-target sentences: _________ ____________

8. Looking for Organization and Coherence

Why I Bought a Handgun

1I bought a handgun to keep in my house for several reasons. 2Most important, I have had a
frightening experience with an obscene phone caller. 3For several weeks, a man has called me
once or twice a day, sometimes as late as three in the morning. 4As soon as I pick up the phone,
he whispers something obscene or threatens me by saying, “I’ll get you.” 5I decided to buy a
gun because crime is increasing in my neighborhood. 6One neighbor’s house was burglarized
while she was at work; the thieves not only stole her appliances but also threw paint around
her living room and slashed her furniture. 7Not long after this incident, an elderly woman from
the apartment house on the corner was mugged on her way to the supermarket. 8The man
grabbed her purse and threw her to the ground, breaking her hip. 9Buying a gun was my
response to listening to the nightly news.
10It seemed that every news story involved violence of some kind— rapes, murders, muggings,
and robberies. 11I wondered if some of the victims in the stories would still be alive if they had
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been able to frighten the criminal off with a gun. 12As time passed, I became more convinced
that I should keep a gun in the house.

1. The paragraph should use emphatic order. Write 1 before the reason that seems slightly
less important than the other two, 2 before the second- most-important reason, and 3
before the most important reason.

________Obscene phone caller

________Crime increase in neighborhood
________News stories about crime

2. Before which of the three reasons should the transitional words first of all be added?

3. Before which of the three reasons could the transition in addition be added?

4. Which words show emphasis in sentence 2?

5. In sentence 8, to whom does the pronoun her refer?

6. How often does the key word gun appear in the paragraph?

7. What is a synonym for burglarized in sentence 6?