Clover Dolph

Nikolas Gardiakos

ENC1102

November 18th, 2022

Research Project Draft 2

INTRODUCTION/PERSONAL NARRATIVE

There seems to be a pipline in understanding a persons own brand of queerness: A

question of sexuality, to a question of transness, which is dismissed, back to a question of

sexuality until gender is personally understood. In my case: I thought I was bisexual in middle

school then I played around with complicated labels of sexuality and romanticism like

Panromantic Asexual or Biromantic Homosexual in Highschool. I would occasionally venture

into transgender online resources like quizzes, tumblr posts, YouTube videos, or random articles

that came up when searching, “Am I Transgender” and say to myself something along the lines

of “oh, that’s not me I don't have X or Y and I don't feel Z.” Nothing felt right and nothing made

sense. It wasn't until after years of interacting with the queer community online that I understood

what gender meant to me. To me gender means nothing. I know this isn't the case for many other

people but it is the case for me. I am non-binary. I don't see the binary within myself. This was

why I struggled so much with my sexuality in highschool. I was looking at sexuality from the

perspective of a woman. I was viewing sexuality as , “I am a woman, do I like women as a

woman, do I like men as a woman, do I like non-binary people as a woman?” As a non-binary

person nothing seemed to fit because I was looking through the wrong lens.

RESEARCH SYNTHESIS
 In doing my secondary research I have observed that the current academic conversation

predominantly discusses what it means to be transgender, what resources are available, how

those resources are used, and why they are important.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE TRANSGENDER?

When asked what it means to be transgender the most common answer is something

along the lines of a person who identifies with a gender different than that they were assigned at

birth. While, yes, this is technically correct there is discourse on who is “allowed” to or should

use this label. This discourse is divided into two main groups: those who believe gender

dysphoria is required to be transgender and those who dont. Kai Jacobsen, a researcher who has

explored this discourse on social media site Tumblr, explains “A set of standard narratives has

dominated representations of trans identity, including a sense of being “born in the wrong body,”

an expression of an authentic inner self, gender non-conformity since childhood, medical

transition, and overwhelming feelings of dysphoria in relation to gender as assigned at birth.”

This is the transnormative narrative. The dominant understanding of transgender people being

that dysphoria is required to be transgender. Many transgender people do understand their gender

this way but it is not the only way transgender people can understand gender. One participant in

Jacobsen’s research explains, “The root cause of being trans is the disconnect. And for some, that

disconnect causes dysphoria. But for others their body feels fine, it’s the labels that don’t fit.”

This understanding of gender is not limited to binary trans people but is much more common in

non-binary trans people. Non-binary people usually see their gender more as a point on a

spectrum rather than one of two things as with binary trans people. Some non-binary people

understand their gender as the absence of gender.

 Research done by Lex Konnelly of the University of Toronto, supports that gender

dysphoria is not necessary to be transgender, specifically in the case of non-binary people. Their

methods were to interview non-binary people seeking gender affirming care about gender

dysphoria and its relationship to trans identity. In their conclusions Konnelly says “Yet a

devastating truth is that in meeting this transmedicalist expectation (i.e., in presenting themselves

as ‘authentically’ dysphoric and thus deserving of care), participant-collaborators’ healthcare is

deeply compromised. In getting one need met, they must sometimes forgo others – such as the

ability to ask exploratory questions and express concerns about their medical care” (8). Even

within the medical field, being transgender is understood as having dysphoria. Konnelly in this

quote is explaining that many of her non-binary participants felt the need to vamp up their

dysphoria to receive genderaffirming care and by doing so lost the ability to ask questions.

TRANSGENDER RESOURCES

As seen in my secondary research on what it means to be trans, much of the conversation

surrounding transgender resources is happening within medical circles and has a focus on gender

affirming care for transgender people. While transgender people having access to gender

affirming care is incredibly important, my research interests are focused more on the gender

exploratory and support system natures of these online resources. A researcher in this field,

Yolanda Evans, has categorized the use of transgender resources into 5 themes: exploring gender

identity, filling knowledge gaps, seeking support networks, finding transgender friendly

providers and encountering misinformation (131). While explaining how they explored their

gender identity using online resources, many of the participants in her research described a very

similar process as to what I described my journey to look like. Evans says, “For many
participants, the Internet search for the vocabulary to describe what they or their child was

experiencing did not immediately produce a term that was accurate. Many youth participants

described a process of adopting and discarding different labels before they were able to finally

land on a gender identifier that they felt accurately matched their true gender identity, for

example, gender fluid, transgender male, and nonbinary. Some youth initially (mis)attributed

their gender dysphoria to a nonheterosexual orientation before adopting a gender identity label

that (more) accurately described their internal sense of self” (133). As I said in the introduction,

in my journey I often looked into intricate labels of sexuality in an attempt to understand myself

before recognizing my queer identity as being more than a matter of sexuality. This process was

incredibly stressful for me and as I have learned from other trans people and research done on

trans people it is for many.

An article written by Walter Bockting et al, researches the connections between mental

health and transgender people. Participants, transgender people in the US over the age of 18,

took a mental health survey finding that those in this study “had disproportionately high rates of

depression, anxiety, somatization, and overall psychological distress” (e6). It was reported that

this was not only because of gender dysphoria but also “associated with enacted and felt stigma,

as predicted by Meyer’s minority stress model” (e6). Transgender people are stressed and need

resources. Bockting concludes “Our findings support the minority stress model. Prevention needs

to confront social structures, norms, and attitudes that produce minority stress for gender-variant

people; enhance peer support; and improve access to mental health and social services that affirm

transgender identity and promote resilience” (1)

.
METHODS

After doing my secondary research I put together a list of sources combining the sources

I personally knew of and sources my secondary research supported trans people using. After

doing so I analyzed these sources to codify the different categories of language used. I then

created a survey asking participants to check the sources they had used in, if any, to explore and

expand their understanding of their gender. I also included a question asking participants to rate

the helpfulness of each category of language used in these sources and a question asking if there

was anything else they'd like to note that I may not have thought of. The seven participants

surveyed include trans femme, non-binary, and trans masc individuals. The set up of these

questions are as follows:

RESULTS

Σ(𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔*#𝑜𝑓 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠)
𝑇𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑙 # 𝑜𝑓 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠
I used this equation for an easier way to view the results:

Gender Physical Pronouns Gender Gender Cis

Stereotypes Gender Dysphoria Euphoria Understanding
Expression of gender

2.43 3.86 3.57 4 4.43 3.71

EXAMPLES AND EXPLANATIONS OF LANGUAGE CATEGORIES

GENDER STEREOTYPES

https://www.arealme.com/am-i-trans-quiz/en/

Gender stereotypes, as a category in my research, is the idea that if you like more

masculine things you may be trans masc and if you like more feminine things you may be trans

femme. The question above comes from a quiz titled “Am I Trans Quiz” on the site A Real Me. I

chose this example from this quiz because it reflects the “a quick google search” option on my

survey. When looking up “am I trans?” on google many quizzes like this one will come up. The

question asks the taker the activities and toys they enjoyed as a child with answer choices fitting

into specific stereotypes: the legos likely being a masculine childhood activity and stuffed

animals likely being a femenine childhood activity according to the quiz maker.
 PHYSICAL GENDER EXPRESSION

I chose a youtube video titled “Gender Identity vs. Gender Expression | Riley J. Dennis”

by Riley J. Dennis to showcase youtube as a resource, explain gender expression, and show how

gender expression is spoken about in trans resources. Riley says, “the simplest explanation is that

your gender identity is simply your gender, and gender expression is how you outwardly present

your gender to the world.” She continues to explain the differences in expression and identity by

explaining that many trans people go through a process of wondering if they are just a

“masculine woman” or a “feminine man” on their journey to understanding what gender means

to them. She tells us that gender expression does not define our gender but can allow us to

communicate something. She says, “a trans woman may feel more comfortable in a dress, not

because all woman have some innate desire to wear dresses but because it signals to the world

that she is a woman and because dresses are so often associated with women, having that thing

that's associated with womanhood with her could make her feel more comfortable in her

womanhood.”

This being a youtube video allows Riley to not only share her thoughts on the subject

textually but allows her to to use tone, hand movements, certain scenes in greyscale to add to her

words.
 PRONOUNS

For the pronouns section example, I have chosen a screenshot from the Gender Wiki page

on pronouns. The screenshot shows the most common neopronoun sets. This screenshot is a

good representation of these gender wiki pages. They are very often set up in an information

forward style rather than including any personal testimonies. They give simple definitions and

give trans people a jumping off point. This wiki gives the definition of pronouns as, “words that

substitutes a noun or a noun phrase.” The page gives the context of pronouns in the conversation
of trans people and the use of the singular they before giving a simple definition of neopronouns.

There are other gender wiki pages that give definitions and simple explanations of different

gender identities.

GENDER DYSPHORIA

This example of gender dysphoria is a screencap from the planned parenthood site under

the tab of trans resources. I have talked much about what it means to be dysphoric in my research

synthesis as it is the most understood aspect of what it means to be transgender and because of

the discourse surrounding it in the conversations of trans issues. The planned parenthood site is

set up with multiple tabs under trans resources with the titles shown above. This is an example of

a non-profit organization’s resource for transgender people.

 GENDER EUPHORIA

For the example of gender euphoria I have chosen a tumblr post. I found this post by

going on to tumblr and searching for gender euphoria. Gender Euphoria is very simply the

opposite of gender dysphoria. Where gender dysphoria is the negative feelings a person's

associates with their body and gender, gender euphoria is the positive feelings a person

associates with their body and gender. This tumblr post is going over the misconceptions

transmed people have about trans people who do not have dysphoria. Transmed people believe

that a person without dysphoria, once transitioned, will then feel dysphoric.

This post is also a good example of the tumblr post as a genre. Very informal and

conversational with the user’s name at the top left and tags on the bottom.
 CIS UNDERSTANDING OF GENDER

“Am I Trans?” A Roadmap To Figuring Out The Toughest Question, a blog post by

Cassie LaBelle has the best examples of this category of language. Part of this post explains that

cis people dont really think about their gender all that much and that they actively enjoy being

the gender they are. She writes “There’s no ~energy~ there. Not for them. If you feel a weird

kind of ~energy~ when you think about gender, that probably means something.” Transgender

people feel an ~energy~ surrounding gender, even before recognizing they are trans.

DISCUSSION AND IMPLICATIONS

Understanding one's gender is a confusing process for many trans people. Resources can

be a huge help in this process. My research is to take a step beyond the notion that “resources are

important” and explore the idea that these resources would be more helpful if they were inclusive

of multiple ways of understanding gender. This research will add to the discussions happening

within the transgender discourse community, specifically the online community, as well as the

discourse communities in charge of creating resources for trans people, whether that be educators

or quiz makers. The current discussions are mainly separated into researchers exploring what it

means to be transgender and the importance of resources for trans people. I would like for my

research to bridge that gap and explain why all these many understandings of what it means to be

trans need to be included in these resources.

 Annotated Bibliography

Austin, Ashley et al. “It’s My Safe Space: The Life-Saving Role of the Internet in the Lives of

Transgender and Gender Diverse Youth.” International journal of transgender health 21.1

(2020): 33–44. Web.

Bockting, Walter O et al. “Stigma, Mental Health, and Resilience in an Online Sample of the US

Transgender Population.” American journal of public health (1971) 103.5 (2013):

943–951. Web.

Byron, P., Robards, B., Hanckel, B., Vivienne, S., and Churchill, B. (2019). “Hey, I’m

having these experiences”: Tumblr use and young people’s queer (dis)connections.

International Journal of Communication, 13, 2239–2259. https://ijoc.org/index.php/

ijoc/article/viewFile/9677/2655

Erickson-Schroth, Laura. “Our Many Selves.” Trans Bodies, Trans Selves. United States: Oxford

University Press, Incorporated, 2014.

Evans, Yolanda N et al. “Understanding Online Resource Use by Transgender Youth and

Caregivers: A Qualitative Study.” Transgender health vol. 2,1 129-139. 1 Aug. 2017,

doi:10.1089/trgh.2017.0011

Emily A. Greytak , Joseph G. Kosciw & Madelyn J. Boesen (2013) Putting the

“T” in “Resource”: The Benefits of LGBT-Related School Resources for Transgender

Youth, Journal of LGBT Youth, 10:1-2, 45-63, DOI: 10.1080/19361653.2012.718522

Hillier, Lynne, and Lyn Harrison. “Building Realities Less Limited Than Their Own: Young

People Practising Same-Sex Attraction on the Internet.” Sexualities 10.1 (2007): 82–100.

Web.

Jacobsen, Kai, Aaron Devor, and Edwin Hodge. “Who Counts as Trans? A Critical Discourse
 Analysis of Trans Tumblr Posts.” The Journal of communication inquiry 46.1 (2022):

60–81. Web.

Konnelly, Lex. “Both, and: Transmedicalism and Resistance in Non-Binary Narratives of

Gender-Affirming Care.” Toronto working papers in linguistics 43.1 (2021): 1–. Web.

Martin, Marie. “Beyond the Binary: How Nonbinary Individuals Challenge Gender and Other

Social Constructs.” ProQuest Dissertations Publishing, 2020. Print.

Neri, Jessica, Elena Faccio, and Antonio Iudici. “Trans People’s Attitudes and Beliefs Regarding

the Diagnosis of ‘Gender Dysphoria’: Research in the Italian Context.” Psychology of

sexual orientation and gender diversity 7.3 (2020): 316–328. Web.

Puckett, J. A., Matsuno, E., Dyar, C., Mustanski, B., & Newcomb, M. E. (2019). Mental health

and resilience in transgender individuals: What type of support makes a difference?

Journal of Family Psychology, 33(8), 954–964. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000561