Think S ex

Ch alleng e
25 "Think Sex" Challenges to Help
You Get in the Mood
Think S ex
Ch a lleng e
25 "Think Sex" Challenges to Help You Get in the Mood
Our mind is our most powerful sex organ. We can be so distracted and busy that sex
stays on the backburner, or becomes quick and routine. That’s why one of Dr. Kim’s tips
for if you’re not “feeling it” is to give yourself reminders to “think sex” and get your
head in the game so you can get the most out of your sex life. This challenge is
designed to help you get back in the mood if it’s been a while since you felt sexy or
were excited about your sex life.

CHALLENGE 1

Foreplay & Touch

What is one of your favorite forms of foreplay or non sexual touch? Ask
your spouse theirs. Together, set aside 15 minutes to devote to those two
things today.

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 CHALLENGE 2

Special Memories
Can you remember the first time you kissed or held hands? Remember
that excitement and spark today. Today, share these special memories
with your spouse in conversation, in a text or note, or send them a
picture of you two back then and remind them how much you loved those
feelings.

CHALLENGE 3

Make out sesh

Today’s challenge is very simple – but don’t skip over it: Make out for 5
minutes. (But feel free to go longer!)

CHALLENGE 4

Slow Dance
Tonight, put on a song that is special or nostalgic for you two, and slow
dance. Hold your spouse close and look them in the eye.

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 CHALLENGE 5

Your Atmosphere
Today think about the environment for sex. What needs to be in the
atmosphere of your bed to make you “think sex.” What simple things can
you do to help you think sex in your bedroom today? Is it a candle? The
right scent? Fresh sheets? Perfect lighting?

CHALLENGE 6

Distractions
A major barrier to “thinking sex” is distraction. So we’re going to spend
the next few days dealing with that. Today, identify the major
distractions that derail you from feeling sexy or wanting to have sex.
Which are things you can control? (For example, put a lock on the
bedroom door; get a white noise machine, etc.)

CHALLENGE 7

Ground rules
Today, think about what distractions in your life cannot be changed. Talk
with your spouse and agree on some ground rules to help you get on the
same page with this? (For example, put sex on your schedule for after
kids go to bed or early in the morning; take advantage of kids’ screen
time or nap times.)

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 CHALLENGE 8

Mental workload
Another huge barrier is unbalanced workload or mental load. The mental
load of managing home, family, and parenting can fall disproportionately
in marriage, which can really hinder feeling sexy or make you feel too
busy for sex. Take the first step today, and simply identify the “mental
load” you are carrying. Write down each thing that contributes to the
mental load you carry. Pray and ask God to help you with this load. Ask
him for direction and next steps. Then be still and listen.

CHALLENGE 9

Sharing responsibilities
Look at the mental load list you made yesterday. Do you feel you are
sharing these responsibilities well with your spouse? If not, ask for help.
What is one thing that you can ask for help with that would lighten some
of your mental burden? You can ask your spouse, or brainstorm other
ways to get the job done (for example, grocery shop online; get help with
cleaning the house.)

CHALLENGE 10

Get Creative
Are you just too tired for sex? Make time to get some rest. Get creative if
you need to - consider a babysitting swap or a meal swap (google it!); get
to bed 15 minutes earlier; reconsider whether you have any nonessential
activities you can remove from your schedule in this season. Today,
decide on one way you can add rest into your life.

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 CHALLENGE 11

Let It Go
Today ask yourself what you can let go of. Sometimes the expectations
we create for ourselves hold us back and bring stress. Is there anything
you can economize? Look for any ways you can create a little extra time
so you’re not so drained and stressed. (For example: decide to leave the
dishes in the sink or the laundry in the dryer one night a week; skip one
episode of a show; arrange a carpool for the kids.)

CHALLENGE 12

Sex is a gift
We will not want to “think sex” if we have ever felt that sex is dirty or
wrong. Do you have any negative beliefs or thoughts about sex? Have
you ever had these? They can be really hard to work through. But the
Bible is clear that sex is a gift, designed to be enjoyed by both husband
and wife to build their marriage and bond them together. Today, ask God
to search your heart and show you any untrue beliefs you hold that keep
you from enjoying his good gift of sex in your marriage.

CHALLENGE 13

Enjoyment
If any physical or mental factors are diminishing your enjoyment of sex,
take a step today to deal with them. For help dealing with fear or anxiety
about sex, don’t hesitate to contact a Christian counselor. (If you don’t
know where to find one, ask your pastor or a trusted friend.) If you have
any physical pain during sex, see your doctor. Sex should not hurt.
Health professionals deal with this every day, and can be very helpful to
deal with low libido, vaginal pain, depression, trauma recovery, erectile
dysfunction, etc. 5
 CHALLENGE 14

Timing
Timing matters! For you, what is the best time of day for sex? What is
the best day of the week for sex? When do you feel sexiest or most
aroused? Put some thought into this and talk with your spouse about how
each of you answer these questions.

CHALLENGE 15

Schedule sex
Now that you know your sexiest times of the day and week, schedule sex
for as close to those times as possible. It may sound unsexy, but putting
sex on the calendar really makes a difference. We put the things that
matter to us on our calendars, so try making the time and putting sex on
the agenda.

CHALLENGE 16

Anticipation
Now that sex is on the calendar, you can think ahead and anticipate
what you’d like to do together! Today, send your spouse a sexy text and
tell them some of your ideas for next time.

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 CHALLENGE 17

Sexy Memory
What is a favorite sexy memory you have with your spouse? Think back
on some favorite experiences and share them with each other today! Is
there one you’d want to try again?

CHALLENGE 18

Pleasing your spouse

Today, think about pleasing your spouse. Think about what they love in
the bedroom and ways you’ve satisfied them in the past. Take 5 minutes
to meditate on this today. Being intentional to put your mind to work in
this way helps build anticipation and intimacy with your spouse.

CHALLENGE 19

Your favorite
Now that you’ve made time to think about serving them (yesterday’s
challenge). Today, think about what you love in the bedroom. Think
about your spouse satisfying you in the bedroom. Think about how they
have done this for you in the past. Take 5 minutes to meditate on this
today. Build anticipation and fun into your marriage bed by taking the
time to think about it.

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 CHALLENGE 20

Sexy Coupon
Today, share one of the coupons (on pages 10-13) of this challenge with
your spouse. Be ready to fulfill the offer when they redeem the coupon!

CHALLENGE 21

Sexy outfit
What outfit makes you feel your best? Today wear something you feel
amazing in or an outfit you know your spouse really loves to see you in.
It may be as simple as the perfect underwear you love, but take care to
dress in a way that makes you feel great today.

CHALLENGE 22

Snuggle party
Take 10 minutes to snuggle with your spouse today. Enjoy the closeness
and security of being together. Consider snuggling naked!

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 CHALLENGE 23

"TS"
Set a 5 alarms on your phone today for “TS” (think sex) each time it goes
off take a moment to think about being intimate with your spouse. Build
up the anticipation and get in the mood by simply intentionally thinking
about sex today. Tap into your greatest sex organ by using that powerful
mind of yours!

CHALLENGE 24

Something New
What’s something new you’d like to try? (Maybe a different location or
position; maybe a romantic getaway.) Think of one sexy thing you’d like
to do together and tell your spouse. If you’re both on board, plan when
you’ll make this happen!

CHALLENGE 25

Wedding Night
Remember something great about your wedding night and share with
your spouse. Talk about what you both enjoyed most, and some of the
things you want more of for your sex life going forward.

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 We hope this resource was helpful for you and your marriage! If so, will you
take a moment to share with us how this helped your marriage?

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