instead of me telling my dad about boys, i was telling boys about my dad.

-The times when I begged you to stay. Perhaps I have you to thank, for teaching me the first
lesson in relationships: never beg for someone to be in your life... you left a beautiful woman who
loved you deeply and immensely in such a heartless manner, I will never forgive you. When I
recall your departure from our lives, I’m instantly brought to the image of my mother crying over
the failure of her marriage. Desperate to maintain a semblance of her family, reaching out to
many to convince you to change your mind. This was where I learned my first lesson in human
nature: how quick people were to cast aspersions about others. My mother was just a woman
attempting to save her marriage and all people did was look down on her as a single mother
Your departure made me grow up so much faster. It’s been said that a daughter’s relationship
with her father is the most important because it sets the foundation for how an acceptable
relationship with males should be. I went into this spiral. In attempting to be strong for my
mother, I admit I reserved my meltdowns for moments when I was alone. She had gone through
enough, and the last thing she needed was to worry more about me. Your decision to abandon
me haunts me to this day, as I constantly question whether the ones I cherish will leave me.
Perhaps it’s the “daddy issues,” or the constant fear that I will be inadequate for anyone. I’ve
broken down about this multiple times, thinking about how heartless what you did was. I keep my
emotions warped shut tightly in the recesses of my mind, finding it hard to explain to someone
this throbbing ache I have for a person who left my life permanently . I downplay my emotions to
cope with the fact that you will never be back in my life, let alone in the way I crave for you to be.
Every milestone I’ve had, I can’t help but wonder how it would have been like if you were there to
see me do well. Whenever you did call occasionally, it hurt me.I am angry at the world, and I
often wonder why. I don't want to throw my sorrow on all those who have hurt me.Yet you are one
of the main reasons I cry. I cry because you weren't there ..When I needed someone to tuck me
in .I cry because you weren't there .For all the plays I have been in.I hold up my head and try to
stay strong. Because one thing I always had was a mother who had to play both roles.

He was only blood relative no more.