Velocipastor

The musical
Part 1
Catholic priest Doug Jones witnesses his parents die in a car
fire. An also catholic priest, Father Stewart, sings the song
"That's what parents do, they die on you." to comfort him.
Afterwards, he goes on a spiritual journey to China, when he
arrives, he sings the short song “CHINA!” and comes across
ninjas searching for an artifact said to turn people into the
Dragon Warrior. He comes in contact with the artifact and his
hand is cut, after he returns, Doug begins having nightmares
and goes out into the forest late at night as he transforms into a
dinosaur.

A woman named Carol encounters her employer, Frankie

mermaid. Frankie asks her why he’s called that, and she replies
“Cuz your swimmin in women” and he replies by singing the
song “That’s right! I’m swimmin in women!” Carol later goes to
the forest, and a man attempts to mug her. Doug, as a dinosaur,
kills the man and saves Carol.
Part 2
Waking up in Carols apartment, Doug thinks he had
made love with her, but Carol informs him of what really
happened. He denies the fact that he turned into a
dinosaur, singing the song "Dinosaurs never existed!
And even if they did, I wouldn't turn into one!" Carol
then shows him the body of the mugger, and suggest to
him that they use his power for good. Doug runs away,
panicking, and goes to the church to do confessions.
While doing confessions, Frankie mermaid is the one
confessing. He confesses by singing the song "My life is
on fiya!" explaining his immoral activities, during which
he reveals that he was the one who killed Doug's
parents. Outraged, Doug partially transforms into a
velociraptor and kills Frankie. Now wanting to kill other
people like Frankie, he returns to Carol for help
 Part 3
Father Stewart, learning of Doug's new power, encourages Doug to get rid of it
and stop killing. He takes him to see Altair, an exorcist, hoping to remove
Doug's power. In a flashback, we learn Father Stewart saw a war buddy shot
while off guard and that his love interest was killed in an accident. (This war
buddy sings “Im going to make it through the war without getting hurt once and
with a smile on my face!”) Back in the present, the exorcist sings the song
“Begone demon!”, however, the song exorcism fails and Doug transforms, killing
the exorcist and tearing out one of Father Stewart's eyes.

Returning to Carol, Doug is confronted by ninjas. One of the ninjas doesn’t’ pay
attention to the plan while daydreaming about his wife. During this he sings the
song “The love of my life”. The ninjas then attack Doug and get slaughtered by
him as he turns into a dinosaur. After Doug gets back to Carol they are
confronted by ninjas once again, and they together, fight them off, and plan to
take down the leader of these ninjas, Wei Chan.

Father Stewart wakes up in a camp of drug-dealing Christian ninjas, led by Wei

Chan who plans to sell highly addictive cocaine to people and then cut off
supplies. He hopes this will lead the addicts to turn to the church where he will
eventually take over and use them as his army. Father Stewart rejects this idea
and is killed.
Part 4
Pursuing the leader, Doug is stopped by Sam the
White Ninja, who he realizes is his brother,
singing “You're my brother?!”. Doug catches Sam
off guard and uses telekinesis to take his sword
and kill him. Doug and Carol fight off more ninjas
and are badly wounded. Doug, fighting off the
remaining ninjas, is shot by Wei Chan with an
arrow containing anti-venom to stop his
transformation. While Doug is kneeling and
wounded, Wei Chan toys with him, singing the
song “Velocipastor!” however, Doug's hands are
immune to the anti-venom and he proceeds to
attack and kill Wei Chan in the middle of his
song. Doug carries Carol to the hospital where
she recovers.
They know the church won’t stop at Wei Chan,
so Doug and Carol continue the original plan of
killing the unredeemable, singing the song “We’ll
take justice into our own hands!