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Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 209 (2015) 514 – 518

International conference “Education, Reflection, Development”, ERD 2015, 3-4 July 2015,
Cluj-Napoca, Romania

Emotional Awareness- The Key to Dealing Appropriately with

Children of Divorced Families in Schools
Inbal Veinberg*
Shedema 22 Karmiel, 21981, Israel

Abstract

Research shows that many teachers perceive themselves as very significant in their students' lives. This is reflected in their
statements that they wish to be involved in their lives, to promote them in terms of academic achievements at school, and to
ensure their wellness. The following article presents a part of the quantitative findings of a dissertation that discusses improving
perceptions of school staff with regard to dealing with children of divorced families from a pedagogical perspective. It addresses
teachers' perceptions and the importance of their awareness of children of divorced families and towards their dealing with these
children.

©
© 2015
2015The
TheAuthors. Published
Authors. by Elsevier
Published Ltd. Ltd.
by Elsevier This is an open access article under the CC BY-NC-ND license
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/).
Peer-review under responsibility of the Scientific Committee of ERD 2015.
Peer-review under responsibility of the Scientific Committee of ERD 2015
Keywords: : Divorce, children from divorced families, teaching approaches, wellness, role perceptions, awareness,.

1. Introduction
The concept of family has changed over the years and has evolved particularly with regard to sexual
differentiation, biological issues, the symbolic roles of men and women and taboos (Figueiredo & Dias, 2012).
These changes have repercussions on family structures as well as their operation (Bayle, 2005). For a long time,
children were peripheral in a family. However, today, children are central to family life (Leal, 2005). Therefore,
when divorce takes place in a family, children's lives are changed completely. As a result of divorce, changes occur

* Corresponding author. Tel.: +972526641148;

E-mail address: vinbal3@gmail.com

1877-0428 © 2015 The Authors. Published by Elsevier Ltd. This is an open access article under the CC BY-NC-ND license
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/).
Peer-review under responsibility of the Scientific Committee of ERD 2015
doi:10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.11.281
 Inbal Veinberg / Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 209 (2015) 514 – 518 515

within the nucleus of a family, which affect parents in general and children in particular (Ayalon and Flasher, 2004).
Moreover, changes in family structure contribute to changes in the behaviors and internal mental processes of all
members of that system (Eldar-Avidan & Barnea, 2002; Minuchin, 2003).
Therefore, adjustment to divorce depends both on the individual and on the surroundings. It may seem that
children's emotional reactions at the beginning of a divorce process are fear, depression, worry, anger, feelings of
rejection, and conflicts of loyalty. Under those circumstances, school in general and teachers in particular become
significant figures for children of divorced families (Smilansky, 1991).

2. The Traditional Teacher

Traditionally, teachers are defined as being controllers of the learning environment. Teachers hold control and
responsibility and they play the role of instructors (in the form of lessons) and decision makers (concerning
curriculum content and specific outcomes). Their concept is that students have gaps in their knowledge that need to
be filled with information. In short, traditional teachers believe it is them who cause learning to occur (Novak, 2002)
The traditional teacher position is based on approaches that teachers are directed and follow recipe like steps of
activities and demonstrations. According to this approach, teachers may not provide students with valuable skills or
even a body of knowledge that continues beyond the end of term (Udovic, Morris, Dickman, Postlethwait and
Wetherwax, 2002). The traditional teaching approach, the frontal lecture method, is very common in education. It
seems that traditional methods ignore students and as a result, their mental levels and interests. They involve
exposure to context and routine memorization on the part of students. In addition, these methods do not involve
students in creative thinking and participation in the creative part of activities. Most of the time, during teaching-
learning processes, instruction remains unilateral, which is considered a conventional activity (Khalid & Azeem,
2011).
Therefore, the question that should be asked is how teachers perceive themselves, their role in general and their
role when dealing with children of divorced families.

3. Teachers' Perceptions concerning their Role in School

Many questions are asked about a teacher's role. In order to establish what this is, it is necessary to discuss
professional identity. What is professional identity, and how is it established? "Identity" is a term in sociology and
psychology that describes individuals' perception of themselves and society's perception of them. Identity is a
collection of components by which a person defines her/himself. Thus, it means that the self-identity or concept self'
is an image that a person ascribes to him/herself. It consists of a person formulating expectations of him/herself and
his/her abilities. These expectations guide their behavior (Schwarzwald, 1978).
The definition of identity is subjective. There are inborn components in identity that cannot be changed such as:
gender, color, and nationality. These components are called "associated components." There are identity components
that can be changed such as a profession and occupation. These are called "acquired components". A person chooses
which components are used to define her/him. For example, a woman may present herself as a married career
woman and an architect while another woman will present herself as a Jew/Christian, whose partners come from ...
Even though both women are the at same marital status, religion and profession (Vidislavski & Kerlman, 2009).

4. School Teachers' Role Regarding Children of Divorced Families

Following changes and their influence on children, we find that divorce is a difficult process for them and
usually children undergo a crisis during this period. Lack of stability and resulting restlessness make it possible that
school is the most stable and permanent place in a child's life at this time. Children who experience divorce often
move to new accommodation, their stability is lost and sometimes they have to deal with a new neighbourhood and
school. In spite of all the changes, there are expectations that children should continue to function as usual,
particularly with regard to their learning habits and behaviour.
Whereas it seems that, the actual response of children to a divorce process is expressed specifically within school
surroundings. Their academic achievements deteriorate; they demonstrate behavioural problems and lack of
516 Inbal Veinberg / Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 209 (2015) 514 – 518

concentration (Ayalon, 1991; Eldar-Avidan & Barnea, 2002; Ayalon & Flesher, 2004). In addition, elementary
school children, who experience parental divorce, as argued by Potter (2010), immediately begin performing worse
academically than their peers from conventional families. Children of divorced families are statistically more likely
to be at risk of mental health problems; young children in particular have difficulties in understanding the meaning
of the process both with regard to themselves and with regard to their parents, thus they endure bad experiences
(Smilansky, 1991). Therefore, the role of a school becomes essential. It has to provide children with a source of
support and sometimes it becomes the main place responsible for children's development. By virtue of this
responsibility, a schools staff should be aware of, acknowledge a crisis that children go thorough during their
parent's divorce, and find appropriate ways to ensure that children and their parents receive the support they need
(Smilansky, 1991).
In some cases, a teacher is the only responsible adult to whom a child is connected. He/she is the only adult that has
earned and kept the child's trust when his/her trust in the other adults in his/her life is shaken. As mentioned before,
generally parents are not emotionally available and can neither provide a secure environment nor support a child's
needs, which results in emotional suffering. Thus, a teacher may function as the only adult with whom a child may
identify with during a time of crisis (Ayalon, 1991, Ayalon & Flesher, 1991). In many cases, the lives of children
are inconsistent and unpredictable. Their daily life routine transfers into the school arena, its fixed schedule, a
homeroom figure and repeated demands are the stability providers within the chaos of their lives (Albeck, 1983).
This research dealt with the ways in which teachers could be significant responsible adults in the lives of their
pupils from the emotional awareness perspective.

5. Teachers' Perceptions towards Children of Divorced Families

Kupershmidt (2006) indicates that school is the framework in which children spend many hours daily, and is a
place where significant social interactions take place for them. These interactions affect their self-esteem in many
respects. School is a valued institution, which offers children certain models of behaviours therefore it is important
to offer support to children when they are going through a crisis. Since many crises occur in families issues of trust
may be involved; it is important that school staff give children an opposite view and help them to cope and adjust to
new situations (Gutman, 1990). In the current research, participants' perceptions toward divorce and children of
divorced families were investigated. The following table presents their perceptions of divorce in general. The
methodology of the research was a mixed methods approach. This phase of the research was a quantitative part that
used closed ended questionnaires that were delivered to 206 participants from elementary schools in the northern
district in Israel. The questionnaires were analyzed statistically.

Table 1: Participants' feelings regarding children from divorced families and / or children whose parents are
getting divorced - Summary of indices (Number of participants, mean, SD)

Participants' feelings regarding children SD M N

from divorced families and / or children ean
whose parents are getting divorced
Concerns for a child's functioning - .84 3.6 N=
calculated index 7 206
Desire to be involved 1.2 3.0 N=
2 1 206
Compassion and empathy - calculated .88 2.8 N=
index 3 206
Identification - calculated index 1.0 2.5 N=
4 2 206
Frustration and sorrow- calculated index 1.0 2.2 N=
2 6 206
Anxiety and anger - calculated index .90 2.0 N=
6 206
 Inbal Veinberg / Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 209 (2015) 514 – 518 517

The mean of educational staff's expressed feelings in relation to students

from families divorced families and / or students whose parents are in the
5
process of divorce - Summary Indicators

4 3.67

3.01
3 2.83
2.52
2.26
2.06
2

1
Concerns for the A desire to be Compassion and Identification - Frustration and Anxiety and anger -
functioning of the involved empathy - calculated calculated index sadness -calculated calculated index
child - calculated index index
index

Figure 1: Educational staff's perceptions towards students from divorced families

The feelings that received the highest positive evaluation were :

9 Concern for a child's functioning (3.67)
9 Desire to be involved (3.01).
The feeling that received the lowest evaluation was anxiety and anger (2.06).
The general impression from the findings indicates that there are a variety of opinions and ambiguity
arises regarding educational staff's perceptions towards divorce in general and towards children of divorced
families in particular.
The general impression from the findings indicates that there are varieties of opinions and ambiguity arise
regarding the educational staff perceptions and attitudes towards divorce in general and towards children of
divorced families in particular.
The finding shows that there are a variety of opinions and ambiguity towards divorce in general and children of
divorced families in particular. This finding can be explained by the fact that people have different opinions.
Educational staff members start with a different worldview regarding divorce and children of divorced families.
Their opinions are derived from their feelings and interpretations of those emotions, and from their experience and
worldviews. Their emotions vary from identification with the child, through difficulties and sadness they feel
themselves and for children, to frustration and pity they experience when dealing with the situation to help
the child find relief. Some of them identify with the children or with one parent. When they identify with children
most of them, believe that the children are miserable and unhappy; some are sad for them and think that they may be
in danger. Others mentioned their difficulties in dealing with the situation and the fact that they did not always
understand or know what to do with the children. They also mentioned children's difficulties and projected these
difficulties onto themselves. Many expressed their lack of experience of how to deal with children's difficulties and
their frustration. They are confused by their feelings and by children's frustration regarding divorce. Some felt
it was an unknown area both for them and children and they did not know exactly what to say, or what to do when
they were confronted with divorce. Others felt pity for the children and thought they do not exhaust their potential
and are not available for learning, they believed that these children were unhappy and therefore, many times they
may presume to know what is best for the children or even for their parents during the crisis. On the other hand,
some educational staff members felt that when they established feelings of trust and wellness with children they
would be able to help them deal with the divorce. They also believed that when parents maintain good relationships,
children will adjust to the situation and can settle down after a while. It was found that educational staff members
conduct themselves intuitively and according to their own feelings. Most of them bring their self-perceptions and
life experiences and act accordingly. Some are confused and find it very difficult to empathize with the children
while others are very sensitive to the situation and willing to help children in any way.
All in all, it was found that educational staff is emotionally ambivalent to and held different opinions of divorce
and children of divorced families.
518 Inbal Veinberg / Procedia - Social and Behavioral Sciences 209 (2015) 514 – 518

Thus, teachers should first understand perceptions of themselves, their "self-perception," according to
psychological and sociological approaches. Self-perception is the complex factors by which people define
themselves. "Self-perception" is a person's images of him/herself. (Schwarzwald, 1978). Berger and Holmes, (2000)
defined "self-perception" as an organized summary of information rooted in facts that can be viewed regarding a
person. These facts include aspects of personality, values, social roles, interests, physical characteristics and
personal history. Accordingly, educational staff must first understand their self-perceptions and attitudes to divorce
and children of divorced families in order to deal with divorce and children of divorced families. They must be
aware of these feelings and emotions and must accept them in order to deal professionally with the situation. When
teachers will experience less ambiguity, they will be more self-aware regarding themselves and regarding their role.

IV. Conclusions
This article discusses the impact divorce has on children and the significant role that teachers have with regard to
children of divorced families. Moreover, it discusses traditional teachers and teachers' perceptions of and attitudes
towards their role at school. In addition self-identity and self- perception are mentioned as part of teachers' role
perception in general and their role perception regarding children of divorced families in particular. Finally, it
shows that teachers' feelings towards divorce are ambiguous and they have varied opinions regarding divorce and
children of divorced families. Therefore, it is important that teachers are aware of their feelings and their opinions
regarding divorce in order to deal appropriately with the issue.

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