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The Power of Comebacks by Darryl Waugh

https://www.darrylwaugh.com

© 2019 Darryl Waugh

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission
from the publisher, except as permitted by copyright law. For permissions contact:

darryl@darrylwaugh.com

The author holds aggregate licenses for all images used.

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Facing life’s challenges can be confusing and scary.

Retaining your perspective and understanding of the purpose of these moments is difficult when
you’re so close to the fire.

I have endured losing a multi-million dollar business; a toxic, narcissistic relationship; crippling
anxiety, and addiction. These experiences taught me more about life than any success could ever
do.

What would it mean to you to reignite your passion and find your purpose?

I will show you how I catapulted my life into one of true purpose and power, and how you can do
the same, regardless of the magnitude of your struggle.

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 Why I Do This

To continually improve, we must be open to both praise and criticism.

I learn from all of you. I read your comments. I take them to heart.

I appreciate them and I appreciate you.

You enlighten me on additional considerations that I have missed or omitted.

My journey in this direction has just begun and, for my contribution to evolve and expand, I need
to embrace your perspectives as well.

For those who wonder, I am deeply spiritual.

I may not speak of religion directly, but I definitely feel connected with a more profound and
powerful sense of being.

How you define your spirituality or faith is your business. I see the comments and I feel the
passion.

I have a deep respect for all of it.

I am truly grateful for the acceptance my work receives.

I speak of strengthening your purpose as you walk deeper along your path.

I will march on, always.

You are my inspiration.

Thank you.


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 34 Life Lessons And Why It's Never Too Late

"There is no better teacher than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss
contain its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." —
Malcolm X

No lesson that we learn in life comes too late. The experiences that didn’t go our way are meant to
teach us, enrich us, strengthen us, and guide us.

Wisdom isn’t easily acquired. It develops as a result of understanding the implications of your
decisions, both good and bad. The unfortunate circumstances that cause pain, loss, and
resistance are the sources of the growth we need. They are absolutely essential for us to become
the best versions of ourselves.

Instead of considering these events as appearing too late in life, choose to see them as
opportunities for wisdom to be gained at the time when you were ready for them. They are simply
an education that no school could provide.

Here are some of the lessons that I’ve learned from my experiences so far, in no particular order of
importance:

1. Nothing will ever be as important as your own personal health. Without it, you are not capable
of helping others. That includes your immediate family. Prioritize taking excellent care of yourself
first. Eat healthy foods, meditate, remove toxic people from your life, exercise, read positive and
enriching books. Set out to be the best version of yourself so you can bring that forward in helping
others to do the same.

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 2. Fear of failure is your ego’s fear of judgement, but understand that judgemental people are
jealous people. They are uncomfortable with your courage and discipline to pursue your dreams
as it forces them to look at themselves and realize that they need to do the same if they are to
pursue their own dreams. It is far easier to cast judgement and attempt to bring you down to their
level. Ignore the fear of failure. Crush your dreams by working relentlessly to achieve them. Be an
example for those around you of what’s possible. Believe in yourself.

3. Strengthen your mind and body. Exercise and train martial arts. Jiu-jitsu is an example of a
martial art that never gets easier—it gets increasingly difficult as you progress. You, in turn,
become more proficient and capable against the perpetually stronger and more technically
competent opposition. It is a metaphor for life. Life can always get harder. Be prepared. Train for
life.

4. You will experience heartbreak multiple times throughout your life. Relationships will end. Loved
ones will pass. It is the undeniable changing of the seasons of life. Be grateful for the moments
shared and memories made. Wish your ex-partner well with a kind heart. This was a chapter in
your life and there will be more. You will love again. Carry forward the most genuine intentions that
you can. Remember, things may be ending, but they weren’t always bad. Embrace the beauty that
was shared in those journeys at its most beautiful time. It takes strength and courage to do so, but
a forgiving and kind heart releases you from harbouring any toxic energy.

5. Love your family unconditionally. Show your parents the love and respect they deserve for
bringing you into the world. You have a chance to be anything you dream of in this world, which is
only possible because they conceived, carried, and birthed you. Perhaps you had an imperfect
childhood and harbour resentment in some capacity, but you still have been given a chance to live
and thrive. It is quantum leaps beyond the alternative. Be grateful, always.

6. The acquisition of material possessions will never fulfil you, ever. It may appease you for a short
time, but it will never make you whole. Only you, internally, can do that. Look to find peace within
yourself and your heart—it can’t come from anywhere else but you. Your attempt to acquire
attention and possessions is merely an attempt to inflate a sensitive ego. Realize the futility of this
process and move past it.

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer,
quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of
yourself.” — Miyamoto Musashi

7. Live in the moment. There is nothing you can change about the past. Harbouring regret is
debilitating and holds you back. There is no way to definitively predict the future. Being anxious
and nervous about the unknown steals the essence of the present moment. Live in the here and
now. What you are doing at this very moment has substantial implications on what tomorrow and
your future will look like. You create your own destiny—never forget this reality.

8. The world owes you nothing; it is indifferent to your success and failure. A sense of entitlement
is your enemy. Why do you deserve something you haven’t worked for when so many others work
so hard for much less? You don’t deserve something for which you have devoted little effort. Try
earning it instead. People who are entitled weaken society. They are perpetually unprepared to
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 fight for what they want. They lack the character that is formed in the fire and will ultimately
crumble under the pressures of real life. Do not expect to get anything easily. Life simply doesn’t
work that way.

“Too many people want the appearance of winning rather than the practices and hard work
that create a true champion.” — T.D. Jakes

9. Whatever you aspire to be deep in your soul can be attained if you work hard enough and never
waiver in your mindset—any dream. Move closer towards your goals through daily, deliberate
action. Build upon it each day. It will be consistent discipline and focus that will bring your goals
into fruition.

10. There will be people and events that impede, negate, and try to derail your success. Don’t
allow them to—give them no power over your goals and work ethic. It is up to you to stay the
course. They are only attempting to project their inadequacies onto you in an attempt to defend
themselves from their own failures.Your unimpeded momentum towards your goals threatens their
acceptance of their own mediocrity and regressions.

11. To reach true fulfilment in life, first find your purpose—an inspiration that is also your calling.
Pursue it relentlessly. Make it one of contribution in some way to the betterment of the human
condition. There is nothing as enriching as seeing your efforts help others and improve their lives.
Being of service to others will also propel and sustain your purpose indefinitely.

12. Generosity should have its limits. If you’re too generous, people will take advantage of you.
You will also weaken your power and influence if you deplete your war chest.

“It is good to have a reputation for being generous. Nevertheless, generosity exercised in a
way that does not bring you the reputation for being generous injures you. If you exercise it
modestly as it should be exercised, it may go unnoticed, and you will not avoid the reproach
of being a miser.” — Niccolo Machievelli

13. Have the courage to love unconditionally and with all of your heart. Understand that this does
not guarantee being fully loved in return. That’s part of life. Go all-in any way. You can ultimately
only control your actions. Love with vulnerability, empathy, and without conditions. Open yourself
up to the possibility of being loved in return.

14. Your family should always come first—nothing should ever take precedence. If you’re focusing
on something other than family, you may be running from your obligations. Are you afraid of
something? Are you working to improve your situation not only for yourself, but for others?

15. Exercise your mind as well as your body. Read; study art, history, poetry, astrology—whatever
interests you. Nothing is as empowering as educating yourself. Whether it be institutional
education or individual pursuit, the source of your education is not consequential. It is the
acquisition of knowledge that takes precedent.

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 16. Understand resistance. It’s anything that pulls you away from being productive and pursuing
your true calling, i.e. social media, procrastination, sexual deviation, etc. It will distract you and
drain you of your essence. Always be aware of your resistance and fight against it, as it will forever
be lurking close.

17. Treat others with kindness and respect. Live with integrity regardless of where you are and
what you are doing. We all have our own moral code which defines right and wrong for us. Do not
deviate from yours for anyone.

“Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy. For what can the
most insolent man do to you, if you contrive to be kind to him, and if you have the chance
gently advise and calmly show him what is right…and point this out tactfully and from a
universal perspective. But you must not do this with sarcasm or reproach, but lovingly and
without anger in your soul.” — Marcus Aurelius

“No matter how rich, talented or great you think you are, how you treat people tells all.”

18. On your journey through life, you may encounter bullies. Understand that they are cowards.
They are unfulfilled and afraid of pursuing their own dreams. They look to force their fake persona
on the weak. They perceive, however rightly or wrongly, that their target will acquiesce and fold in
the face of their attack. Walk away and ignore them. If you are forced into a corner, out-bully the
bully. Courage over cowardice. Fight with the most profound strength you can, and then get out as
soon as you can.

19. As heartbreaking as it is, there will be times that you cannot help certain people. Depression,
addiction, and denial are real. There will be times when you need to protect yourself from those
that won’t accept your help. They are not willing to help themselves, and you will only hurt yourself
by attempting to force your caring ways upon them. Protect yourself—it is critical.

20. Your grandparents have lived long lives and it's likely that they’ve had many challenging
experiences throughout. Seek to learn from them and embrace their lessons. Show them the love
and respect they deserve for the wisdom they've gained.

21. To grow, you need to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. You will only experience growth
when you are tested at your limits. Being comfortable breeds complacency. Regression and
diminishment are what follows.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favour freedom, and yet
depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want
rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many
waters. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one; or it may be both
moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It
never did and it never will.” — Frederick Douglas
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22. Remember to detach sometimes and spend time in nature. Smell the changing of the seasons,
walk barefoot on the grass, feel the wind on the shoreline. We have to revisit the essence of who
we really are to remain grounded, to de-stress, and to empower ourselves. As simple as this
sounds, it is one of the most powerful lessons that I have learned. You’re alive—step outside,
leave your technology behind, and become one with nature. It takes patience and focus, beautiful
focus.

23. If you are in a perceived successful job, make a substantial amount of money, and live a
luxurious lifestyle, but are unhappy, angry, depressed, and frustrated; you are encountering
resistance. You’re not pursuing your true calling. This resistance is your battle cry. Dig deeper and
find your purpose. Do not remain incarcerated in the grasp of your golden chains. Start working on
your dreams part-time. Whatever it takes, move towards it.

“To me the life of a businessman who eats his breakfast early in the morning, catches a
train for the city, stays there in the dingy, dusty world of the commercial world, and goes
back to his house every evening, and after supper to sleep, is worse than the life of a galley
slave—his chains are golden instead of iron.” — Oscar Wilde

24. Set out to forgive anyone and everyone that has ever done you wrong. I’m not saying to
embrace them nor even tell them. Forgive them within yourself. This will remove any toxic energy
that you may be harbouring deep within you. This toxicity will obstruct your growth and fulfilment.
Rise above and be the stronger person. Forgiveness is liberation. You can only focus on your
dreams and goals after you have released all the bad energy held within you.

25. Thank all the people that were instrumental in your development: your parents, teachers,
coaches, bosses, relatives, siblings, mentors, and friends. Tell them how much they are
appreciated and how their guidance has helped move in you a positive and productive direction.

26. Be a mentor to a child. Enrich and better their lives. Teach them integrity; how to show
kindness and appreciation; and the benefits of hard work, discipline, and dedication by example.
Embrace them with love and laughter. Make their world a better and safer place simply because
you can. The impact will be everlasting.

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill

27. The pain of commitment and struggle in any endeavour is temporary, but the pain of quitting
will last forever. Be a finisher. Go the distance. You will grow each time you do instead of living in a
perpetual, frustrating cycle of quitting. It always comes back to haunt you. Break the cycle and
commit to completing your tasks, however large or small.

28. People you fear or are intimidated by were once just like you, now simply more confident in
their tasks and position due to their experience. Rest assured, they have issues, insecurities, and
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flaws just like we all do. As you acquire proficiency and experience in your field of excellence, you
will evolve and grow to be playing in the same arena. It won’t come easily or quickly. You can only
gain this stature by staying on the battlefield. As time goes on, the people you once feared and
revered will begin to respect you and look at you as an equal, but you must first earn it.

29. Business deals will manifest much differently than anticipated. Whatever you did to seal the
deal, expect it to develop and evolve in both productive and regressive ways. People make
promises on the basis of their own beliefs that they will be able to deliver on them eventually, even
if they cannot do it today.

30. Professionals are not perfect. They too make mistakes and do things incorrectly. Just because
they create your business entity or do your corporate taxes does not mean they will be error-free. I
learned that the hard way, first hand. There’s fallibility in us all.

31. You can tell a lot about someone by their personal circle of friends. How long have they had
them? Are they transient? Lifelong? Or are they loners? Always be careful and aware.

32. Narcissists and sociopaths are real. They can destroy you if you’re not prepared. They will
charm and seduce you, trapping you in their web. Then they will play games and test you. They
will use you and discard you after invading every part of your life. Stay away from these people.
They are toxic. If you find yourself within their web, stand tall and strong. Be powerful and
resolute. Do not allow them to steal your essence. They will eventually back down.

33. Respect the law and be a good, productive citizen. Contribute to the betterment of society as
a whole. Nobody is above the law.

34. Trust your gut instinct. It is a powerful, uncomfortable feeling deep within you that intensifies at
certain times of your life. It emanates from your gut. It is a warning signal that something around
you is not as it should be. Never ignore this feeling. Follow that instinct and eradicate its source.


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 The Critical Imperative

Prepare for the unexpected in life as no one can predict the future.

Please don’t be a fool—life is going to present challenges. It’s going to strike hard and with
ruthless intent. You need to be prepared, or you are going to suffer the consequences, and they
can be extreme.

Life’s hardships can destroy everything you have worked for and everything you believe in. These
challenges can and will take many forms and pierce all areas of your life. You can expect one or
more of the following at some point in your journey: health issues, relationship breakdowns, job
loss or demotion, family issues, or a debilitating accident.

Nobody wishes any of those mentioned above to occur, but being prepared for what might come
is the best preventative medicine that can be prescribed. Escaping hardship for a lifetime seems
like an impossible undertaking for the majority of us.

“To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.” — George
Washington

I make the pronouncements in this book not from a place of opinion, but from one of personal
experience—an incredibly painful experience. What I have set out here is the whole story, warts
and all, of what went wrong and why. It’s not essential that you know all of this, but it is here for
you if you are intrigued as to the full context and understand how I discovered the way out and
way forward from the black hole of where I was. It almost killed me, literally, but my journey is your
lesson.

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It has taken me four hard, long years to regain a semblance of my past self. The lessons were
excruciatingly painful, but in retrospect, they were worth it.

I am a journeyman who lived to tell his tale. Hopefully, you can see the right intentions in all of my
wrongs.

______________

12 years ago, my life was incredibly fulfilling and gratifying. I was a partner in a successful steel
distribution company on the outskirts of Detroit, MI. We were making substantial amounts of
money, and it awarded us liberties that enriched us all.

I was single, visited my family and friends regularly, flew around on the odd private jet, drove a
new Porsche, bought whatever clothes I wanted to, ate at any restaurant and traveled to the most
beautiful resorts and destinations on the planet.*

*I am describing these things not in order to self-aggrandize, but to demonstrate that these things
are not gratifying without the foundation of what truly matters in life—being grounded with genuine
purpose, deep and meaningful relationships, and contributing to society. Being a semi-rich
vagabond who collects objects will never get you to the finish line with a smile. The harsh realities
of life were about to unfold before me.

I was in the midst of success established at a young age, and I felt invincible.

We had several significant issues in our first five years, but we got through all of them. We were
sued by U.S. Homeland Security for retroactive countervailing duties on corrosion-resistant steel
(galvanized). They deemed our past five years of shipments as underpaid regarding export duties.
We had met the current .051% that was demanded, but the U.S. government stated that we had
to pay an additional 18+% on the material.

This was the new Byrd Agreement. It was passed in Congress. All companies doing what we were
got hit. We were shipping over $25 million per year at the time—that added up quickly. We fought
the charge, hired a fast-talking, slick, trade attorney out of Washington, D.C. He was
astronomically expensive at $1,000 per hour and turned out to be an utter waste of money. He did
nothing and got us tossed out of court. We then just filled out some paperwork at the Detroit
border, and we were excused of the retroactive obligation.

Next came a $750,0000-hit concerning a customer delinquency. I had just flown from Nassau,
Bahamas to Key West, Florida to celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving with a good customer who I
considered a real friend. I ordered and shipped down some Maine lobster and lobster bisque soup
to mark the occasion. Damn, I was making effort here! We spent three days together, his family
and I. It felt genuine. I was inspired to take our relationship deeper concerning exposure if they
met our credit requirements.

After a few internal meetings between my partners (with reluctance from one, who turned out to be
right), we agreed to ship steel that was ultimately destined for General Motors to be utilized for the
door and hood skins; referred to as electro galvanized. This was like platinum in a world of
ornamental assets. $750K,000 shipped, invoiced, and extracted from our inventory. It was now an

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asset for 90 days, concerning a receivable in the eyes of our banker and the criteria defined in our
lending formula.

30 days came and went, then 45…then 60. Our nerves began to shake. I made call after call. My
partner did too. The owner, my friend, stated that he had had a harder time shipping than
anticipated, but he didn’t deny payment would be made. It was just slow. We asked for partial, he
was too tight. We gave him a week and demanded cash in full before the 90 days was up.

You see, in the steel industry, distribution centers (what we were) source steel directly from the
producers (the steel mills). They consider it a privilege to be their customer, and they demand 30-
day payment terms on their invoices. Pay to play; forgiveness did not exist.

So, we pay our source within 30 days and hope to recapture the acquisition cost plus profits with
45–60 days maximum. Being paid 90 days and beyond creates issues. Firstly, it’s no longer
eligible for borrowing against in accounts receivable financing, nor does it seem likely that
payment will come at all.

Where there is smoke, there is fire. How true this remains.

120 days later and we still hadn’t been paid. Our cash flow was tightened as our eligibility at the
bank had been pinched. We met the owner at a bar in Ferndale, Michigan. Over a hamburger and
a beer, he told us that he could not pay us and was “sorry.”

It was at that moment when I came to realize what betrayal felt like, and it induced a searing anger.
I was a forgiving individual and I felt like I had empathy, but f*ck you and your lobster bisque,
brother. I had gone to bat for this man and his company, and he just betrayed me. Even though we
made a collective decision to ship the material, I still looked like a fool and took a large risk on the
viability of our collective entity and partnership.

I came to realize that this betrayal shouldn’t have been taken personally. Entering into a business
transaction, we do so in good faith and sometimes we don’t decide the ending—extraneous
factors come into play. There are no guarantees in the land of exchange. There’s tax to be paid. In
this case, a $750,000 sale came too easy, and the taxation was delinquency on non-payment.

As a smaller company, we each held the position of judge, jury, and executioner. We didn’t have a
China Wall between our commercial operations and credit management. Therefore, we allowed
the subjective and emotional to blend into the objective and rational decision-making process. A
dangerous combo when decisions need to be made quickly.

“If you do what’s easy, life will be hard. If you do what’s hard, life will be easy.” — Les Brown

Throughout the entire time dealing with this issue, we also had another lingering problem to
manage: our inter-company ownership structure was set up incorrectly as we shared foreign
ownership. Our advisors had mismanaged the accounting and legal set up of the combined
entities, which had a knock-on negative effect on our tax filings and reporting. We had to undergo
multiple voluntary disclosures and work closely in audit-type situations for extended periods of
time. We ended up suing our lawyers and accountants. This was a lingering monkey on our back
and was expensive to rectify, but we got through it successfully.

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The following year was challenging, but again we made up the loss. We battled through and came
out on top, again. That was three substantial battles won. We felt invincible and had a false sense
of being unconquerable. Nothing to this point had taken us down. We were here to stay, and our
work ethic and strategic manoeuvres would prove it.

The next several years were profitable, some extremely and some marginally, but they were in the
black.

Then 2008 came and the world collapsed, initiated by the mortgage meltdown and the real estate
crisis. We quickly went upside-down with the banks utilizing the “mark to market” method of real-
time inventory valuation as opposed to the original acquisition cost.

We were bleeding for the first eight months of the year, and then we stepped up and made the
best deal we ever made. General Motors was being bailed out by Obama. Nobody was
comfortable extending them credit as payment terms and the source of payment were unclear.

Would the Government guarantee the exposure or were General Motors paying based upon their
previous payment terms and cycles? The distribution industry was unclear and definitely not
taking chances. Most were savvy operators and they were on high alert for anything that may
seem too risky to engage in.

Electro galvanized automotive material was becoming rare. Everyone had cleared out their
inventories and were too hesitant to restock. Opportunity knocks. I had a strong relationship with a
U.S. domestic producer of automotive-grade exposed material, and they had a massive amount of
stagnant inventory that was sitting on their floor. They needed to move it and generate cash flow
and sales. They were a public entity and had shareholders to answer to.

They called and asked us for a favour. Could we take several million dollars’ worth of steel at a
discount? They would extend the credit in these uncertain times. I agreed and pulled the trigger.
We bought it all.

For us, it was a massive purchase and one that contained risk—substantial risk. But we were
survivors, hustlers, and we had a team with great contacts. Our Vice President of Automotive
Sales put the next deal together with General Motors with astronomical margins. She was a
machine with laser focus. We shipped, invoiced, and collected payment promptly. We turned a
bleeding year into a monster profit. Boom, right out of the park. Again, we proved that we could
make it through the storm. Nothing would derail this team of young hot-shots.

Son, please sit down. It’s time for a reality check. You’re about to get destroyed, and you have no
idea how hard it’s going to hit. This is going to hurt your fragile ego and somewhat inexperienced,
ignorant self. You’re not prepared.

New Years, 2010.

My buddy and I decided that it would be a great idea to celebrate at the Fontainebleau in Miami.
We booked a room for four nights and bought a two-seater couch at LIV Nightclub where Jamie
Foxx was the DJ. Time to see in the future! We started our celebrations around 11am at the Blue
Bar in the lobby, and to say we went hard from the bell would be an understatement.

We bumped into some buddies from Oakville, Ontario (the town next to our hometown) and we
decided we should all celebrate with any and all elixirs that could be ingested. This was going to
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be a crazy day. By the time midday came, we were wired for sound. We had 8–10 hrs before
midnight… the train had to stay on the tracks.

We hit the pool and enjoyed the sun while maintaining our euphoria. Hell, it was New Years. That’s
what people do, right? We finally made it to the opening of LIV’s doors at 9pm, and we were ready.
Our couch was above the DJ booth and overlooking the dance floor. I tried to order some food,
but all they had was strawberries to go along with the $1,000 bottles of champagne. F*ck it, I’ll
take two. I need my fruits.

11:30pm, I ask the waitress for my cheque, and she looks at me like I’m nuts. I couldn’t stand it
anymore—I needed to get out of there and go to bed. She made fun of me and then said to hold
on while she goes and grabs a few of her friends to chat us up and bring in the last 30 minutes of
the year. Little did I know that one of the ladies would be my fiancé eight months later.

I made several trips to Miami over the next few months and what became entirely apparent was
that we were about as different as two people could be. We were from totally separate worlds: we
had different mindsets, different schedules, different desires, and different goals.

Why did we spend time together?

Vanity; her need for support at the time and my habit of engaging in self-destructive behaviour.
Our energy wasn’t compatible. We resonated at different levels. Nonetheless, we played ball and
got deeper.

I lived in two locations: Troy, MI and Burlington, Ontario. A little different from Miami. She came to
visit both locations and our time was spent spending money shopping and going to the best
restaurants we could find. The foundation of our relationship was hollow. It was fake. The house
was structured on playing cards.

Neither of us trusted each other’s true intentions, and yet we continued on regardless. It wasn’t
slow, steady, and respectful. It was combustible, full of doubt and mistrust, but again, I stayed.

We always argued and had blowouts of epic proportion. I felt as if I was being tested from every
angle. It infuriated me to feel like my integrity was being questioned, but yet again, I continued on.
I was a sucker for pain and stress. Fools and gold, fools and gold, fools and gold.

A few trips later, things became far worse. We got engaged. I should have realized once we
declared our commitment to each other that neither of us wanted to tell anyone. It had to be a
secret. Also, planning a wedding was something we never discussed. How could we when we
couldn’t agree on the simplest of matters? We would push one another on the most sensitive of
subjects and take personal shots constantly.

This relationship lasted 18 months and comprised narcissistic abuse and mental anguish. It
consisted of massive amounts of money spent going to the best vacation spots and buying the
most expensive gifts. Nothing mattered regarding the small things. It drove me to the edge. Hollow
begets hollow.

It was such an abusive, turmoil-filled time in my life that it sent me into a depression. I had never
had my character or integrity questioned on such a consistent basis, nor had my emotions played
with in such a way. I went to therapy several times per week. I saw a spiritual healer, a shrink, and

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a psychologist. I learned about mental abuse, narcissistic supply, and pathological envy. I went
deep into understanding the root of my anguish.

I knew I was equally to blame in pursuing this relationship and allowing myself to be exploited. But
the toil it had taken had enormous effects on who I was. Some people never bounce back from
relationships of this kind. It took me a long time to be able to stand tall and be proud once again.

The issue that became most prominent during this time is that my focus and output diminished. I
lost focus as I tried to heal. I did what I could through therapy, fitness, and my own study, but I
was far less useful than before I allowed myself to be thrown to the lions.

To be clear, I am not labelling anyone. This relationship was strained from all sides. There was
isolation, unknowns, doubts and perversions from the outset. We were both intrinsically good
people with warm hearts and our own issues—just like the rest of the world. Our collective was the
issue, not us as individuals.

The definitions and terms I use here are those that were described in my therapy sessions. I utilize
them only to express the reality of the experience, not to convey any disrespect.

As I began to stand tall once again, the steel market was unravelling at a rapid rate. Imports were
flooding the market, and excess production capacity was everywhere. The producing mills were
going customer-direct and taking our customers. We couldn’t compete. The material that we held
in inventory was sourced at price levels that were too high to compete with the mills. We had to
begin to chip away and sell material at a loss. This would quickly erode our retained earnings and
weaken our balance sheet. Not signs of strength in the eyes of our lender.

It began to get stressful, incredibly so. Our company, my job, our inventory, our financials became
an all-consuming focus and one that seemed to be 24/7. Stress will kick your ass if you don’t gain
perspective. As it mounts, so do the debilitating effects. I was not working out as much, I wasn’t
eating right, nor was I socializing at all. I was becoming reclusive. Consumed by my flaws and
defective nature.

I went to my Michigan-based doctor and explained all I could. He prescribed me Xanax and
Ambien. Taking them was a huge mistake for me with catastrophic consequences. Severe isn’t a
strong enough term when describing their addictive qualities and long-term effects. Anti-anxiety
meds are intended for use as short-term band-aids, but I was blind in the midst of turmoil and
couldn't stop. All I sought was temporary relief from the relentless, encroaching suffocation of the
puppet masters—those that had greater control over our company's viability than we did. There
was a monkey on our backs, and he felt like King Kong.

“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It

has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It
has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of
insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.” — Edgar Allan Poe

The meds gave me the sense of calm and escape I was looking for at the time. Note, the word
choice here—they were what I was looking for, but not what I needed. The difference is key.

16
I would leave the office and immediately medicate myself so I could escape the reality I was living.
I lived alone. I was from Canada, so I had no family in Michigan. (I had some truly wonderful
friends that saved my life, to be candid. They know who they are. I will never forget them, nor
diminish their incredible support ). I hid from reality. I wasn’t adequately prepared to weather a
storm of this magnitude, especially after just regaining my footing from a brutal and mentally
abusive relationship. Sleep was all I desired. Real life was getting too stressful and intolerable for
me. I wanted to punch my exit ticket, however irrational that may seem now.

The issues in our business continued to mount. The market was collapsing even further, which
pushed our goals of inventory reduction, creating liquidity, and lowering our risk profile even
further out of reach. To execute anything remotely close to our plan, we needed to take more
significant losses, erode our balance sheet further, and take ourselves deeper into the mix of
questionable sustainability.

There is a saying that I have now come to understand on the deepest level: where there is smoke,
there is fire. We used to say that amongst ourselves when we felt that a customer or someone we
all knew in our marketplace would slow down concerning payments or take a hit from a customer
on the street. Typically, the vessel was cracked, and there was leakage in some context. The
stalwarts of the industry had deep enough pockets to sustain these delinquencies and stretched
receivables. We were not one of those entities, nor was the market convinced we were.

The issues compounded further: once the market, consisting of our suppliers and customers,
became aware of our suffering, their mercy disappeared, and they sought to capitalize. You cannot
blame them—those in positions of power will often take advantage of the weak. It is how they feed
their beasts to reach new levels and gain competitive edges. The weak get eaten—this was the
plains of Africa personified in the mean streets of Detroit’s steel distribution industry. Empathy was
abounding, but mercy was not.

It became harder to sell at prices that were high enough as our customer base understood what
was going on, so they would low ball us, stretch out their payment terms, and leverage our
weakening posture. All of our suppliers were now closing the door on any further extension of
credit terms, so blending anything new and price-competitive became a futile endeavour.

We had material that was overpriced and targeted for customers that could no longer use it or no
longer wanted it. We were far too bloated, and we were gasping for air regarding inventory. Our
taskmasters didn’t care. They needed to cover their exposure and understandably so.

They sent in a team of consultants to guide us. None of these people knew the industry like we
did, but their participation was instrumental in us following the guidelines that were needed to
rectify the erosive issues. Simplistically, they were there to maintain order and flow. They bridged
the gap of communication when tensions ran high, and they often did.

We had to let go of so many excellent employees that I considered family—people that had given
a decade plus to our cause. They had families to support and obligations. Our company’s failure
became my failure to have their backs as I had always promised. My pride was gone, as was my
integrity. I failed them as much as I was unable to retain operational control along with my
partners. I took this so personally that it was destroying me. I had failed those I truly cared about.

The bank had us on personal guarantees. We were tied tightly to the essence of our corporations.
They could pierce our corporate veil and come after our own assets. All is fair in love and war. As it
became apparent that we were terminally ill, I personally felt the same. I had a lot of insecurities,
17
and I pinned my identity to the life I had lived. A young, successful steel guy and now it was
unexplainably painful to accept the fact that I was now an older, failed journeyman with a crutch:
prescription meds. My identity was fading.

I became physically and mentally sick beyond even my own comprehension. My nerves were
destroyed, I lost weight, my voice was meek. I couldn’t speak, even through a megaphone. I also
contracted a form of Lyme disease at the same time from a tick bite. This compounded my
physical condition. I needed help. I needed saving. I was scared.

I finally hit a wall; I broke down; I collapsed. I was done. I didn’t quit—I simply fell apart. I had
nothing left to give. I needed to save myself. I had nowhere else to turn for salvation. Asking for
help when in my weakest state was something that I never would have considered I would have
had to do. Guess what? No one does. Confronting the dreaded vulnerability of being honest—with
myself, my partners, and most importantly, my family—was the most challenging thing I have ever
done in my life. I was humiliated; I was defeated. I was simply no longer the man I knew.

I’ll never forget telling my parents, face to face, that I needed help. It was a pain of such intensity
that I had nothing to compare it to. The second I told them, their instant, unconditional love and
support, at any cost, was genuinely liberating, inspiring, and life-saving. I had hit rock bottom and
there was no further to fall, but love surrounded me. There were no judgements.

It is hard to try and honestly articulate the intensity of that experience. It was life-changing and
powerful beyond measure.

“The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage.” —

Thucydides

My father accompanied me to a detox facility in Tampa, Florida. I had to fight the dependency on
the anti-anxiety meds, plus eradicate the Lyme infection at the same time. It wasn’t pleasant. I
spent over a month there. There was a week where I fainted over 40 times. As soon as I stood up,
I’d lose all consciousness and collapse. My pops wheeled me around in a wheelchair. He even
bought me milkshakes and cheeseburgers. Family first, forever.

Having completed my detox, the hard road to recovery was just beginning. I needed guidance and
support. I had the incredible fortune of working one-on-one with an addiction therapist. She was
beyond exceptional and guided me like an angel. Was it easy? Not even remotely close. I went
almost three weeks with minimal to zero sleep as my body readjusted. Trust me, some strange
things were watched on YouTube during those three sleepless weeks. Delusion is real, or is real
delusional? Ponder that.

I started working out daily; I got a dog; I began training jiu-jitsu and boxing; I eliminated any and all
toxic people from my life. I ignored the happy haters. Hate on, brother. I worked on me. You have
to love yourself to be able to give quality love to others. I was determined to do just that.

18
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you
managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing
is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.
That’s what this storm’s all about.” — Haruki Murakami

Today, I am driven by purpose. I am inspired to help others and contribute positively. I have an
incredible woman who loves me unconditionally. I feel blessed to share my life with her. I love her
beyond words. I am closer to my family as well as my lady’s. We share truth, wisdom, and what’s
real in this world. We share love, unconditionally. I have an incredible circle of supportive and
positive friends. They enrich my life daily. They inspire me to be the best person that I can be. Life
is beautiful, and worth living to the fullest.

Just remember the details. It is where the devil resides.

Extreme challenges and adversity, however unexpected, are going to come your way at some
point in your life. Knowing when is impossible. Being prepared is not. I could have done so many
things to be ready for what life threw at me.

I could have remained healthy through disciplined exercise and positive thinking. I could have
spent less money on things and fancy trips to places that didn’t leave my soul inspired. I could
have built a larger financial war chest for times of uncertainty, instead of counting on the retained
earnings that were held in our company. Be aware, retained earnings are not yours until you
deposit them in your personal account.

I could have recognized that certain relationships were just not healthy to pursue. The eradication
of toxic and harmful influences in my life was instrumental in my personal comeback.

Who is to blame, you may ask? Me and only me, period. I could have been acutely aware that
nobody is untouchable, and even though we survived a few difficult battles, the war was lost.

Preparation is a fluid undertaking. Never stop paying attention. Complacency not only breeds
mediocrity, but it also unlocks the fortress for the thieves at night.

Get your Life House in order. That involves taking a critical look at your physical and mental health
and your regime for both; your finances (insurance, savings, emergency funds, etc.); your
geographic locale; your alternative career opportunities; and a host of others.

It is the Critical Imperative.

______________


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 Sink or Swim

“You are never trusted for the things you claim. You are always trusted for the things you
survived. It is the test that creates credibility. It is the test that creates trust.” — Dr. Myles
Munroe

Will you sink or swim?

The choice is yours.

"Arrogance really comes from insecurity, and in the end, our feeling that we are bigger than
others is really the flip side of our feelings that we are smaller than others.” — Desmond
Tutu


20
 Isolation

Try not to isolate yourself.

There’s a big difference between taking a little bit of time for yourself and becoming completely
withdrawn.

We are all emotional; we are human. When life becomes challenging and we are feeling weak, we
tend to pull away from the world.

We become reclusive.

Living this way only perpetuates our issues. It’s essential to break out of this personal entrapment.

I write about being strong and finding everything we need within us, but be aware that this is only
possible when we face what intimidates us head-on.

If we do not, regression sets in, and we become consumed with anxiety and irrational thoughts.

Get back out there. Live. Face what you fear. Do what you love. Chase your dreams.

Be around the people that appreciate and uplift you as you walk your journey.

Remove your fear of judgement and failure. They are both part of the process.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence every time you stop to look fear in the face. You
must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Remember that prolonged isolation is your enemy, not your salvation.

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You will not grow unless you step forward.


22
 Screaming At The Edge Of Darkness

“The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know
where it is are the ones who have gone over.” — Hunter S. Thompson

I only know what it felt like for me. Being lost, lonely, scared, and defeated. Not understanding my
reality and unable to gain perspective.

Clinging to a crutch. A crutch that was my breaking point.

My nemesis.

Things are about to get real. Hang on tight.

You step out in public and interact with society. It seems everything is fine. It seems, I said, it
seems.

Nothing is as it seems.

I’m tortured. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do. This type of pain will move you. It will move
mountains.

It’s lonely, incredibly lonely.

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I don’t want anyone to feel this pain.

Let’s go to sleep. There’s tenderness in dreams. Hold my hand, lay beside me.

Can I put my head on your tummy? The soft warmth is soothing.

I want peace.

Please.

The morning comes, and the brave face goes on. It’s just a façade. It’s too heavy to keep private. I
confide in a few.

Thank you for listening. I love you.

I drove to my mother’s house every day for three weeks straight and cried while she heard my
pain. She listened and held me up.

Battling her significant health issues, she never wavered.

She’s a rock. She’s my rock. I’m her angel. She’s my mother. Our Matriarch.

Family.

Love.

I’m crying.

It’s okay. I need to let it out. I’m fine.

These problems are real. My world is not the same anymore. Who am I without all of the trappings
and titles? I don’t know who I am.

I’m scared. It’s scary.

There’s an edge. It’s darkness. It’s terrifying. It’s incomprehensible, but it’s real, and it’s the truth.

It sounds so irrational, but it’s raw, and it will rip your heart out.

You’ll feel things you have never felt. You’ll say the things you could never say. You’ll appreciate
life on a different level.

Nothing is ever taken for granted.

You want to rage, you want to scream, but you’ll only whisper because that’s all you’ve got left.

Stand up. Battles can be lost. Life is war, the art of war. Fight on.

Triumph. The human spirit will prevail.

There I am.

Screaming at the edge of darkness.

I’m not broken.

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I am beautiful.


25
 The Leap of Faith

I’ve dealt with anxiety and insecurities throughout my entire life.

Do I still feel it at times? Of course I do, but the difference is now I run towards it.

I write to inspire and uplift. I write to enrich.

I get negative feedback and I get love: it’s all part of the journey.

You will never resonate with everyone. You’re not supposed to.

I need to feel that uneasiness and hesitation before I stand on that metaphorical stage.

I need to breathe deep and stand tall. I need to feel the fear.

It’s what makes me feel alive and connected to you.

I used to be petrified about putting myself out there. Judgement is everywhere and cruelty is real.

But the truth sings louder than our apprehension.

Be courageous.

People will empathize with you. They’ll show compassion and support.

It takes humility—feel it.

It’s those that want to better themselves that will stand beside you as you walk into the fire.

26
They too will take that step.

So stand tall, take that deep breath and make your leap of faith.

You’re powerful.

Liberate yourself.


27
 Judgement

Strive to rise above your fear of judgement. It will remain as your chain of limitation if you don't.

You can be nudged in that direction, but ultimately the decision lies within you to take action.

Embrace the Roar of Freedom.

It is yours for the taking.

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where

people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” —
Anais Nin

Keep going. You have what it takes.

“Sometimes your history determines the fierceness with which you fight against what is in
front of you.” — T.D. Jakes

You have what it takes. Stand tall and rise.

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“True power does not insult, diminish, or belittle nor does it align itself with specialness,
entitlement, or judgment. True power generates vibrational harmony, kindness, and
presence.” ― Deborah Bravandt

Embrace your power. We all have it within us.


29
 Self-Sabotage

“At the end of the day, life is a fight for territory. And once you stop fighting for what you
want, what you don’t want will automatically take over. In life you will always be faced with
opportunities brilliantly disguised as problems and challenges. — Les Brown

How many of us have sabotaged ourselves in some capacity?

"But I do nothing upon myself, and yet I am my own executioner." — John Donne

What have we done with ourselves that has limited our careers, destabilized our closest
relationships, damaged our own financial status, or derailed our health and wellbeing?

What would it mean to you to be able to overcome these issues and rectify them?

How would your life change for the better?

I hold my hands up high and state that I have been my own greatest obstacle in a multitude of
circumstances.

I have destroyed several opportunities, goals, and relationships (sometimes knowingly), through
my own counterproductive actions, however subtle or blatant.

I have stood in my own way far too many times.

30
It has taken me a long time and countless sessions on the therapy couch to not only recognize
this truth, but to openly admit that I am, at times, my own worst enemy.

I believe many of us self-sabotage, but we are too afraid to come to terms with ourselves to
openly admit it.

The fear of judgement is a powerful deterrent, as much as the perpetual need for approval is a
driver.

When I was young, insecure, and trying hard to fit in, I was afraid. I was a naïve young man.
There's no shame there.

Now, since life has knocked me around a fair bit, I've been humbled.

I'm human. I'm flawed. I make mistakes. I'm on a continuous journey of growth, enrichment, and
understanding.

It takes work—a lot of work.

Some people are much better at controlling their actions, emotions, and decision-making
processes. Others, like myself, need greater self-awareness and constant work.

It takes courage to openly declare that you are what's truly holding you back. It's far easier to
deflect any responsibility and instead shed the blame on anything and everyone as opposed to
owning the truth.

The harsh reality is that we are all responsible for where we currently are in life. We are a product
of our collective actions and inactions. We make our beds and we must lie in them, however
uncomfortable.

It is too easy to cast blame everywhere and anywhere.

Self-sabotage is a broad term that encompasses many variables. It can be as subtle as

procrastination and as severe as addiction. It can manifest as anything from excessive spending to
having a desperate need for approval. It may manifest as an endless pursuit of pleasure, which, in
reality, is the avoidance of true responsibility and obligation.

Self-sabotage shows up in ways we find hard to recognize at first, such as staying in abusive and
toxic relationships, or teaming up with the wrong business partners.

Self-sabotage is the inability to forgive and the continual harbouring of resentment. It is remaining
in the cage of negativity.

Ultimately, these choices are what hinders our progress and begin to erode the essence of who we
are and who we could be.

Self-sabotage is real, and it is poisonous.

It is also correctable.

31
"Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Don't sabotage yourself by
unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with
others." — Epictetus

Understanding the nuances and prevalence of self-sabotage is the beginning.

Undertaking a deep, personal dive into ourselves and truly coming to terms with how we are
hindering our growth and sabotaging our lives then becomes the crucial next step.

Significant change will always take work, but it is work that will pay actual returns, not
abstractions.

"Resistance by definition is self-sabotage." — Stephen Pressfield

This process isn't easy, but it can change your life in substantial ways.

Correcting your own counterproductive ways will be both liberating and empowering.

Sharing this process with like-minded, self-aware, and motivated individuals can be the difference
that determines success or failure.

We all need support and encouragement from our loved ones and close friends, however near or
far they may be.


32
 Don’t Suffer Alone

Being honest and open is the best thing you can possibly do when you are suffering from
depression.

You may not feel as if you’re articulating yourself well, but by being truthful you will, without
question, resonate with others. They will respect you for having the courage to be real. Their
support will be genuine. It can be a difficult thing to do, but it needs to be done in order to find the
support that you need.

The people that you open up to will understand and they will embrace you.

Your initial fear is actually the fear of being judged and the fear of how you will be perceived.
Harbouring your loneliness and internal suffering only extends the time needed for healing.

Confide in others.

You will feel liberated and empowered. There will be a significant stress load taken from you. You
will breathe once again.

Communicating openly with others creates harmony and fertilizes the grounds for enrichment and
support.

There are a lot of kind and wonderful people in this world. Speak up and allow yourself to be
heard. You’ll be grateful you did.


33
 To My Father. To the World.

To my Father.

To the World.

Hope. Inspiration. Fortitude.

I feel you, deep within me. I see you beyond the sky.

The Heavens have opened. I am encompassed with ease and peace.

The embodiment of angels. My heart aches while my soul sings.

Our son is thriving.

Let freedom reign.

We miss you, dearly.

Mom loves you. We are here for her in every conceivable way, forever.

Family.

You strengthen me with all that you have imparted. Your wisdom is never taken for granted.

My muse.

Beauty, resilience, kindness, and backbone.

34
A rebel in an ocean of conformity. Courageous enough to stand alone.

The island of refuge.

Humble and empathetic.

Change the world. Change someone. Let it start there.

Help them understand. Illuminate the light.

Then they too will answer the call.

Our gift is our capacity to inspire. Resonate and be righteous. Help others find their source.

Hand in hand.

Together, we will walk through the fire.

Emerge, the Lion.

Majestic, royal, and powerful. Battle-tested and worthy to teach.

Enlightened.

Independent and self-reliant. A voice of reason.

We will remain impartial and tolerant of our critics. The opposition sees their own reflection. To
each their own. Everyone has their rights. We acknowledge this as fact.

We cannot force comprehension. It will lose its essence. Perspective and consideration are
singular. They are intrinsic to individual circumstance and experience.

We will seek to illuminate the truth, potential, and beauty that is within those who are willing.

Life loses depth and meaning without the realization and pursuit of our purpose.

Let us discover. Contemporary pioneers.

Inherently, we are all leaders.

Embrace your power.

Everyone is different and everyone is the same.

From my heart, I thank you.

You were my teacher, my protector, and my saviour.

You are my father, eternally.

I now understand.

I will make you proud. I promise you.

There’s work to be done. Meaningful work.

35
Legacy and heritage.

I love you, Dad.


36
 Obstacles

“Obstacles don't block the path. They are the path.” — Zen proverb

Build the courage, conviction, and resolve to embrace and understand that you are on a journey.

You cannot live a static life. We cannot stand still. Life is variable and perpetually moves us in a
multitude of directions.

Obstacles are a reality for all of us, but they will never be your end game unless you allow them to
be.

“The boy who is going to make a great man must not make up his mind merely to overcome
a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand repulses and defeats.” — Theodore
Roosevelt

You were created to share your gifts. Most often, they are borne from the obstacles, setbacks, and
struggles that we endure.

Keep moving forward. Learn from everything. Believe in your potential. Believe in your purpose.

You must own the reality that your day is coming to share your wisdom, your strength, and your
understanding.

37
Realize that there are people who believe in you, who care for you, and want to learn from you.

As the great Les Brown emphatically states:

“You Have Greatness Within You!”

The world needs your truth, your strength, and your beauty.

Obstacles, crush them.


38
 Stuck In Your Past And Blocked From Your Future

Too many of us are stuck in the past whilst simultaneously being blocked from our future

We all have a past. Some experiences bring back memories of joy, hope, love, and innocence.

Other memories bring back feelings of cruelty, anger, sorrow, guilt, and resentment.

Our experiences are as unique to us as we are individual. Nothing is perfectly replicated.

With a past solely defined by pure happiness and success, continuing to move forward is simple:

Life is wonderful, let’s keep rocking. I’ll take more of the same, please. Life is grand.

Rainbows and butterflies. Unfortunately, that’s not reality.

This is the life of the sheltered. As pleasant as it sounds, living a charmed life by no means
prepares you for the realities of life.

Entitlement is toxic. Life will never just give without taking. There’s a taxation on everything. What
you receive must come at a price. Be it your freedom, your integrity, or your wallet. Life will make
you pay for the other side of the equation. It is an eternal truth.

39
“Entitlement creates an illusion of superiority that clouds our ability of self-improvisation.”
— HB Patel

The world is harsh and challenging. It will always be that way.

We are susceptible to deceit, betrayal, and manipulation. There are people that prey on others to
extract from them their own wants and needs. Sometimes innocently, we are caught in their web.

Often, when something too challenging comes along, or our path is somehow modified, we get
knocked off course. We are unprepared to withstand the turbulence. We are too easily defeated
with no battle experience. We become irrational and full of anxiety and stress. We are incapable of
being present. We cannot function as we would like to.

But there is no escape—we need to face challenges in our life. We need the struggle and we need
to feel the resistance of the real word.

For us to grow and become truly resilient and capable, we must face opposition, regardless of
how it is manifested.

Having lived through various challenging experiences, we are then often directed towards new
goals, a new purpose, and our calling.

It can seem so straightforward to conceptualize, but forging the first steps at the time is a different
story.

I work with a lot of people and there is one underlying theme that reverberates universally. It is the
common thread that has woven itself into everyone I speak to: the inability to forgive both
themselves and others, coupled with the inability to embrace the fact that they are survivors.

You are stronger than you were before. You have power and you are capable. These facts need to
be believed wholeheartedly.

Most people can understand the necessity of reconciling with their past in its entirety and how
their ability to do this can affect their future.

The new issue then becomes: “I am not ready just yet. I have to make sure X and Y are done
before I start. I need more time to prepare.”

These are just excuses. They are manifestations of procrastination and are invalid. The longer we
stay dormant, continually trying to further reconcile our past, the less likely we are to actually
move forward. We sink. This process is inherently regressive.

There comes a point of diminishing returns.

People often immediately begin to dismiss the need to move forwards and progress, no matter
how minuscule the forward steps are.

Start with forgiveness of yourself and others, and then embrace the strength that you have gained
throughout your journey.

You can’t pay for these experiences and they are not taught at school.

40
These are life lessons. They are the change-makers. They are your power source.

What we need to understand is that your purpose and your contribution won’t directly inspire you.

The actual process and action of beginning to work on your calling, regardless of how temporary it
is, will become the genesis of your inspiration and momentum. Actions inspires further action.

The more we put into it, the more it becomes who we are. Our efforts begin to compound. It grows
exponentially when you’re willing to make the effort.

“Power ceases in the instant of repose; it resides in the moment of transition from a past to
a new state, in the shooting of the gulf, in the darting to an aim.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson,
Self Reliance

You must take action and move forward. You deserve to live a happy, enriched, and fulfilled life.

Residing in the abyss of the past and fearing your future is akin to being immersed in quicksand:
unable to move forward and sinking deeper by staying put.

There is no way around it—we have to embrace who we are. I have endured hardship and
struggle, but those challenges only served to strengthen me. We can become fortified. We can
become resilient.

You are ready to answer the call.

Stand up, breathe, chin up to the sky.

The time is right now.

Let’s do this.


41
 The Chains of Acceptance

“There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer,
quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of
yourself.”— Miyamoto Musashi

It is human nature to seek acceptance and a sense of belonging.

We desire harmony in our lives, not turmoil and opposition. It is too exhausting and uncomfortable.

To be considered different or to be the one who does not fit in can be unsettling and become a
significant source of stress and anxiety.

It can cause us to pull away and become reclusive in our thoughts and actions, which in turn
diminishes our potential to grow in a multitude of ways.

Therefore, many of us put considerable effort into seeking validation or approval, and at the same
time, do whatever we can to avoid facing judgement and criticism, even if it’s constructive.

Our ego is sensitive. Our self-esteem is held hostage by others.

It cannot remain this way if you want to grow.

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Remaining on this pendulum is a form of imprisonment.

By doing this, we give the external world far too much control over our destiny.

You must understand that nobody cares as much as you think they do. Everyone is consumed
with their own issues and struggles. They don’t have the time or energy to dwell on you.

Let the truth resonate.

It is you that possesses the ability to control your destiny. Nobody can stop you from being the
best version of yourself, nor can anyone do it for you.

We falsely believe that without this sense of support, acceptance, validation, and approval from
others, we won’t get anywhere.

Wrong.

This cycle needs to be broken if we are to become the best that we are capable of being.

If not, we remain chained by our ego’s need for support and protection.

Our insecurities manifest into a reflection of what we seek as well as avoid.

You must believe that you are worthy and that you are capable of achieving your goals. You have
what it takes to reach the levels that you dream of.

Start working on yourself today. There is no better time than right now.

Don’t continue with the stream of excuses. They are invalid and weak. They hold no merit.

Face the fire.

It takes courage to stand up in front of the world. It also commands respect.

Be a change-maker.

Leave your mark and make the world a better place.

Start now.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and
forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” ―
August Wilson


43
 How Your Pain Becomes Your Purpose

Some of us are looking for a more meaningful line of work or a way in which we can contribute.—
something that is enriching and profound.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Your why or your reason for committing to something should have a deeper meaning other than
being purely superficial. Otherwise, it’s too easy to lose motivation, especially when times get
challenging.

You are not truly vested in your undertaking if it carries minimal meaning to you intrinsically.

Trying to simply “find your passion” is an almost futile endeavour. Forcing a discovery in any
capacity can lead to questionable commitment and half-hearted execution of most related tasks.

Discipline is the main definitive for ensuring sustainability. Otherwise, you will initially be eager and
full of excitement, only to get slapped in the face at the point of diminishing returns… better
known as the lull.

One proven method to discovering your why or your way of contributing is to use your journey of
overcoming struggle and hardship to help others do the same.

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“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like
a shepherd.” ― Rumi

There will always be someone somewhere that is having extreme difficulty overcoming what you
have already endured and triumphed over. These people need your wisdom and guidance. They
can gain so much from your empathy, strength, and resilience.

It is your ability to be transparent and courageous in sharing your journey, in all of its
manifestations, that becomes the conduit of change for others.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is
the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in
our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” ―
Brené Brown

People can gain so much from being guided through their difficult times.

On the other side of our struggle, we begin to appreciate life on a different level.

We are changed.

Once you’ve been dealt the harsh and heavy blows of life, appreciating life comes far more easily.

The ones who experience the full magnitude of this contrast are the ones who have endured true
hardship.

Things become beautiful. The trivial bullshit that once consumed our lives no longer matters.

We are consumed by humility, empathy, and compassion, and endowed with strength and
fortitude.

We are tougher and at the same time, we are tender. We can relate to those that are in the midst of
struggle.

We can provide guidance, support, and insight. We can help heal and we can empower.

We can contribute with purpose. We have a calling. This calling is to lift humanity and all those that
we can touch.

It’s a momentous task to undertake, but we can start small simply by helping those close to us
and refining our message, gradually moving to increase our reach of those that we can empower.

There is no greater purpose in life than to take the lessons you’ve learned in overcoming your pain
and helping others overcome their own.

We can all do this.

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There are countless levels of appreciation and contribution. Find yours and help support and heal
those that need it.

Your life will take on an entirely new meaning.


46
 Rise Above the Opinions of Others

Too often we are controlled by our fear of judgement. We stay in our safe zone, remaining quiet
and out of sight, afraid of those who cast negativity, ridicule, and judgement.

This is a suffocating way to live. It is also regressive.

You’re meant to grow throughout your life—not remain static, slowly decomposing whilst simply
existing instead of living.

We allow judgement to cause hesitation and an all-out reversal of direction once we have been
exposed to the negative opinions of others. It is this backlash that erodes our belief system and
keeps us from pursuing what we truly desire and are capable of becoming.

We are diminished by others only because we allow ourselves to be.

“You will never be defeated by what they say about you. You will only be defeated by what
you say about you.” — T.D. Jakes

Sometimes it’s loved ones who think they know what’s best for us. Other times, it’s simply those
who want to make you feel inferior.

It is important to understand that when others fire negativity at you, it is because they are
uncomfortable with what you are doing. It forces them to see their own inadequacies.

They see their failures and the hard, painful work that needs to be done in their own lives.

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You create a reflection of who they could be if only they dug deep enough. People can become
jealous of your courage and will attempt to pull you back down to their level so they can once
again feel comfortable.

They can become bitter.

Try to remember that it i is never about you. It is about how you make them feel about themselves.
It is their weakness, not yours.

There’s comfort and a false perception of safety in mediocrity and inclusion.

Your progression makes a statement.

Who are you to be an example of possibility? How dare you threaten and challenge the current
status quo?

Who are you not to be is the important question.

Rise above the opinions of others.

Speak to yourself only in a positive light. Strengthen your resolve.

Try to shut out anything and everyone that has a shred of negativity.

Your journey is for you and your loved ones. It is not a spectacle.

Always remember, the loudest people in the room and the flashiest people on the streets typically
have the strongest egos and the weakest characters.

I was this person many years ago: impressionable, hyper-sensitive, and insecure.

Life is here to teach you a few lessons. It will humble you and bring you back to reality.

Stay focused on you, your path, and your purpose.

Strength, focus, commitment, and discipline.


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 Forgiveness

Learning to forgive, in the true and full sense of the word, is crucial to becoming the very best
version of yourself.

Set out to forgive yourself for anything that weighs heavily on your mind. We are an imperfect
species. We will always make mistakes.

Holding onto guilt, regret, and shame will diminish your ability to move forward. It is a burden you
must release.

If you feel it deep within you, your intuition already knows it was a mistake. Accept it and move on.

Be kind to yourself. You are a constant work in progress. We learn from our mistakes. We become
better people.

We evolve.

Next, resolve to forgive anyone and everyone that ever did you wrong.

You may not agree with, like, or ever care to see that person again, but you can forgive them.

Absolution: it is a necessity.

By harbouring anger, hostility, and resentment, you create toxicity that is pervasive and will bleed
into your entire world, impinging upon your ability to grow.

People do bad things and it hurts when we are on the receiving end. It is an unfortunate reality of
life.

Remember that you are not setting out to change anyone. That is up to them.

It takes strength of character to forgive others, but it is vital.

It is liberation and it is essential for you to be able to move forward on your journey.

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Forgiveness.

It is empowering.

It is beautiful.

“You cannot overcome what you will not confront and you cannot confront what you will not
acknowledge.” — T.D. JAKES


50
 Self-Talk: Make it Count

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Buddha

How you speak to yourself via your internal dialogue has serious implications on the person you
are and the person you are becoming.

Do you diminish yourself by telling yourself that you can't do something or that you are incapable?
Guess what? You’ve just limited your ability and reinforced your perceived lack of capacity to
reach a certain level.

Most people aren't fully aware of the powerful effects of negative self-talk. The reality is that it will
chain you to insignificance and redundancy. Be careful what you say to yourself.

Negative self-talk will also make you less attractive to those around you. Nobody wants to listen to
someone who's always complaining, carries toxic energy, and spreads a negative outlook on
themselves and the world.

Realize that the positive and motivated people in this world want to surround themselves with like-
minded people.

"The finest lesson I've learned with age is that all I need is a small team of comrades who
inspire me, try not to judge me, and remind me when I'm judging myself." — Lake Bell

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Never tell yourself that you can't do something, that you're not beautiful, or that you’re not able to
reach your goals.

We all have self-esteem issues that come into play at times, but those who continually speak
positively are empowered by their own internal voice. It ultimately becomes their reality.

Those that continue to discredit their worthiness eventually become just how they see themselves:
diminished and shrunken versions of their full capabilities.

Believe in yourself, lift yourself up, and stand tall. You are as capable as you believe you are.

I have succumbed to negative self-talk far too many times. I know the power it can have over me.
When life became extremely challenging (and it does so for all of us), I would talk myself into
defeat, which ultimately led to depression, anxiety, and a host of other issues. My thoughts
became my reality, and that reality became my ceiling.

Times have changed now and so has my internal dialogue.

I treat myself with self-love, kindness, and positivity. I tell myself that I am capable, I am strong,
and I am intelligent. It may seem minor or easy, but this simple change works—the more we do it
on a consistent basis, the more it becomes ingrained within us.

There is nothing more important than taking care of yourself first. Before anything else in your life,
you need to get your sh*t together concerning your own mental, physical, and financial well-being.

It is an imperative of immeasurable importance. It cannot be stated more emphatically.

"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." — Colin Powell


52
 There Is No Guarantee For Love

Nobody is coming around the corner to love you just because.

But what you can do to put yourself in the best position to receive love is to become the best
version of yourself.

You also need to become vulnerable and open to the potential wounds that love can inflict. By
being open, honest, and true to who you are, you show the real you.

You want to operate with integrity, dignity, and from your heart. Women appreciate a man that can
be a man. You will need to own your mistakes and your flaws; your shortcomings and your issues.
Men appreciate women that can hold it down like a real woman.

You will also need to operate from a position of selflessness. Loving unconditionally and without
the expectation of being loved in return. If you come from a place of beauty, kindness, and truth,
there is no reason your partner wouldn’t begin to care deeply for you and ultimately develop
feelings of love.

Certain people have different agendas in terms of what they want out of a relationship. Some will
seek material gifts, cash, elevation of social status, or a more comfortable and protected living
environment for themselves and their children. Initially, this will be hard to see, but as you move
forward, cracks will appear in their armour and it will be apparent they’re operating from a
manipulative position.

Lastly, it is important to make the distinction between love and lust. Being in lust and loving
unconditionally—these are feelings that are derived from very different places.

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Lust is sexual and it satiates your needs and your ego. It is the desire to satisfy oneself. It is also
the pursuit of physical pleasure. It can also be a true act of connection, and as real love solidifies
itself, your intimacy will become more meaningful. Sex with someone you truly love is more
pleasurable than the flings. The flings may be exciting at first, but the excitement fades quickly.

Love is unconditional and selfless. It is not based upon satiating one’s insecurities nor propping up
one's ego. It’s an unconditional extension of care.

Allow yourself to be loved. Be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Come from that place of beauty, kindness, and truth.

Love will come to you and it will be beautiful.


54
 Never Diminish Your Relationship Failures

“To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in
order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate
our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” — Confucius

None of us enter a personal relationship with the expectation that it will end badly. Or at least, we
shouldn’t. But we are flawed creatures. We are emotional. We are human.

In relationships, we really need to give our best: commit to making ourselves vulnerable and
becoming open to both the beauty and the pain of love. Only when we are completely open can
we become the best partners that we can. Unfortunately, being completely open also exposes our
negative traits. It is on both ourselves and our partners to accept, embrace, and love one another
for all that we are, however good or bad. Leaving judgement at the door is critical if you are both
courageous enough to be fully transparent.

Relationships comprise two people with two very different emotional makeups and character
traits. Both of you will have different weaknesses and insecurities, as well as strengths and areas
of competence and confidence. They will not always align with or complement each another.

It is fairly easy to say that we want to commit to someone when we believe that they hold the
same values that we do, but without ingratiating ourselves fully into their lives, and our partners, in
turn, ingratiating into ours, it is difficult to know everything about someone prior to making a full
commitment.

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“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” — Brené Brown

Sometimes life gets difficult and confusing. One partner, or potentially both, can become
distressed and unfulfilled. Instead of digging deeper and working on issues as a collective team,
instead we lash out defensively, protecting our own insecurities and weaknesses.

This is the me versus us quandary. It is a deflective tactic and one that will begin to root the
element of turmoil within the relationship. It can be the beginning of the end if it isn’t recognized
and rectified. This is where remaining humble and loving unconditionally is mandatory if the
relationship is to survive.

Once the deflection of personal issues begins, it creates a toxic environment where arguments
breed easily and the relationship begins to crumble. Being in the midst of this is confusing and
infuriating. Most likely, there is anger, bitterness, hatred, deflection, and animosity. A collapse of
the relationship can certainly follow.

Once it does, even the realization and acceptance of the end contains some disbelief and doubts.
Reconciliation is on the minds of both, however minuscule. Retaining a rational perspective is hard
as emotions are at a high point. Tempers flare, distraught partners cry. A lot of this stems from the
fear of the unknown. The thought of being alone after living in the perceived comfort of a
relationship is concerning. It represents a position of uncertainty and self-reliance. Man up or man
down: the choice is ultimately ours to own. It is a scary proposition for most. Loneliness is a mean
friend at best.

Now, it’s over and there’s no going back. Wounds need dressing and scars run deep. Personal
issues have been intensified and the future appears uncertain. We begin to retract from the world:
we sleep often to escape, become extremely reclusive and lack our previous vitality for life. We
lean on our crutches and addictive behaviours. It can be a slippery slope if your perspective isn’t
solidified.

“Forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes and move on.” — Les Brown

But as days and weeks pass, the sun begins to shine once again. The pain isn’t quite so close.
The roaring flames become smouldering ashes. We give ourselves a little space. We begin to heal.
We embrace ourselves with kindness, love, and strength. We regain the confidence that allows us
to face the world once again. We treat both our minds and our bodies better. We begin to nourish
our souls. We read positive things, we listen to positive messages and videos, we exercise, and
we eat clean and fresh foods.

We have journeyed and we have grown. We have learned a lot more about ourselves, our own
guiding principles, our methods of communication, and our tolerance. We have opened our hearts
and we have loved.

It appears that we may have lost a battle, but truthfully, we have won the war of beauty, truth, and
enrichment—and we are so much better for it.

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What we have earned, we bring forward into our future relationships. We are experienced and we
are seasoned. We have been wounded and survived. We have beautiful and true intentions. We
understand.

We are ready to love again and this love will be a deeper, more compassionate and empathetic
way of loving. It will have foundations in us and not I. It will contain a greater purpose than
anything we have experienced before.

And it is all because we have loved and lost in our past.

“Whatever we go through, we will go through together.” — T.D. Jakes


57
 In Search of Us

I journeyed the world.

A quest for self-fulfilment. Attempting to enrich my life and eliminate the aching sadness.

The emptiness.

Nothing would satiate me.

I watched the stars light up the Sea of Cortez at sunset. In all its glory, it was sexy, but never
sensual.

I drank wine with the locals on a side street in Paris. They embraced me. I was immersed in the
culture. We shared laughter, the tastes of France and more, which became much less.

I was captivated while gazing at the Sistine Chapel within the Vatican. The Book of Genesis. Did
they feel this way too?

From time immemorial.

Where are you? I can’t truly appreciate anything.

None of this satisfies my emptiness.

I am restless. I go from place to place, always on the move. I move away from loneliness only to
get closer to emptiness.

I explored the soul of New Orleans and drank the blues of Beale Street in Memphis. As cool as
that vibe was, I needed more.

I was moved but never fulfilled. It was a temporary departure from what I truly longed for.

A bridge of experience arching to the desired state.

So many fake their happiness, snapping pics by this or that. Look at me!

Façades are most.

There is a reason solitary confinement is used as a means of torture and punishment. We are not
meant to journey alone.

Isolation.

It leaves you aching. You and your thoughts, your issues, your desires. We need quality
relationships to be complete. It’s an undeniable truth.

Enrichment.

Love.

Where are you? That’s what matters.

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I want to unite our hearts. I want to be one in our journey. The wonderful and the hideous. The
beautiful and the ugly. The ecstasy and the agony.

I want to share it all.

With you.

I recall walking the bridge hallway of the Ritz Carlton, Grand Cayman. It’s also an art gallery and
captivating any time of day.

The hotel was filled with families. With love and memories being made.

I had just returned from a night out with great friends.

Nevertheless.

Room 812, Mr. Lonely, Mr. Sad, Mr. Incomplete.

This way of life is ungratifying.

All of my relationships up to this point were missing something. They were based on me and you,
never us and we. There was no desire to remain emotionally attached. I checked out long before
they ended, however wrong that may have been.

We do what we do.

Us.

You’ve changed my life in incredible ways.

You’ve made me whole. You’ve ignited so much within me.

I’m new. You’re beautiful. You make me a man. A family man. A proud man.

Powerful.

Us.

Let’s walk forever side by side. My heart is yours. Yours is mine.

Tammy. My love. My future.

My hand in hand.

Eternal.

Us.


59
 Oppression vs. Empowerment — Leadership Styles

A small corner business, a martial arts academy, a non-profit, a Fortune 100 giant—the
composition of these entities is the same. They are composed of people; human beings just like
you and me.

How people are treated and managed can have one of the greatest impacts on the success or
failure of an enterprise in terms of sustainability and the quality of the lives of those involved.

In every organization, there is a leader—whether that be a leader of three people or three million.
There is always someone who defines the tone that resonates throughout the entire fabric of the
group.

The guiding principle should be aligned with the organization's vision and purpose.

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case.

Management styles come in as many variations as there are humans. The main differential is the
core personality traits of the leader. Their desires, fears, insecurities, strengths, and values will be
manifested in how they implement the strategic game plan of the company.

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“Something wicked this way comes.” — Ray Bradbury

When people are managed in an autocratic and oppressive manner, oftentimes the leader
possesses strong narcissistic personality traits; even to the extremes of sociopathy. They possess
an arrogance and elitist attitude. Other leaders will feel personally inadequate and not fully capable
of leadership, and will therefore lash out in defence of their own incompetence. Others are
extremely intelligent and power hungry. The world is theirs.

Any of these leaders can be insecure, aggressively demanding, or insensitive. They can lack
empathy and humility. They can take ownership of others’ ideas and plans without emotion or
empathy, and declare it their own. Some will consider everyone expendable. They may not care
about the feelings of their employees. The importance of family matters and personal obligations
is irrelevant. Output before anything, with no excuses.

“All oppression creates a state of war.” — Simone de Beauvoir

It is a suffocating existence for anyone who works underneath this type of leader. The company
becomes infested with negativity, resentment, hostility, unethical competitiveness, and petty
antics. The undertone is toxic and unhealthy. Infighting is pervasive, as is an overall atmosphere of
paranoia, uneasiness, and anxiety. Long-term viability becomes diminished as the egos of the
leaders infect the fabric of the employees’ self-esteem and sense of worthiness. High turnover and
employee burnout are collective manifestations.

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists…when his work is done, his aim
fulfilled, they will all say: ‘We did it ourselves’.” — Lao-Tzu

On the other end of the spectrum is the empowering leader who appreciates and embraces
everyone’s input. Honest, transparent. They are respectful and acutely aware of the human
element of their team. They are humble, wise, empathetic, and compassionate. This type of leader
instills a collective message of strength and unity. One of pride, hope, and harmony.

This leader strengthens their employees by encouraging them to own their ideas and feel
comfortable and confident to grow through execution. Failed strategies are not punished—you
have to swing the bat to hit the ball. There is a feeling of collective ownership. There is a vested
interest that garners significant incentives and motivates the troops. Employees feel like they are
contributing to a greater cause. They are a part of something meaningful and great that becomes
the essence of the company.

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“A leader is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out
ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from
behind.” — Nelson Mandela

Working in this environment is immensely gratifying. Team members want to contribute. They want
to be an integral part of what’s being built. Stress is lower overall and, if and when it exists, it is
more often than not self-imposed. A real contribution is what truly matters. Nobody wants to let
such an incredible leadership and their team down. It’s an inclusive family and it stretches to the
dinner table at home.

This is where to work. This is how to live.

Conjecture and opinion are a reality. Not everyone will agree upon the correct leadership methods
and my writing is not a definitive statement on leadership, it is a reflective piece on my experience.


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 Life’s Upheavals — Conquered

Thriving on the other side of hardship takes work—real work—but it is worth it.

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go
through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sometimes life forces us into a transition.

There are going to be circumstances that change our foundations permanently.

This upheaval can be painful as it forces us out of our comfort zone, sends our lives into disarray
and knocks us off of our schedules. It’s an uneasy position for most of us.

Understanding the implications and nuances of transition is vital to thriving on the other side.

Change can be difficult to accept. Often, it comes with pain. Examples are job loss, sickness,
relationship collapse, business failure, and addiction. These are significant events to live through.

We are going to be affected by these events: we are going to change at our core as we move
through this process. It’s inevitable, and it is how we evolve as individuals.

“He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need
no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best
grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick.

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Harbouring spite, guilt, anger, and grief will keep us in a state of paralysis. It’s unproductive and
toxic. We have to move past this.

There is no typical timeline. We are all unique in our capacity and ability to process change.

At the onset, panic often sets in, and we potentially make moves that are not always in our best
interest. We can be irrational and operate only considering the short-term. This can be damaging
to our foundations.

We need to regain perspective. We must remain cautious at the inception of our shift.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” — Aristotle

In the midst of this transition, it is paramount that we take care of ourselves mentally and
physically. With so much going on around us, we often forget that our health and our mindset
need to stay healthy and fortified to be successful on the other side. It’s also crucial to understand
that the other side has yet to be defined. It is an evolution. It will continually unfold as we rise from
our setback.

As time passes, our perspective becomes more rational and our outlook becomes fortified; we are
changed. We have grown. We now understand life on much deeper and more meaningful terms. It
isn’t the surface level that is instructive—it is the process of surviving hardship that defines our
character.

We come to realize that we are capable of more. We are resilient. We cannot be defeated by the
trials of life.We are forged within the fire.

We experience transcendence. We seek more meaningful work: that which inspires us and lifts the
spirit and essence of humanity. It is those that have endured the harshest trials that are often the
most giving, understanding, and caring people.

There is so much more to life than your current situation. You are not defined by these parameters
—you are defined by your collective journey. Life will test you and you will survive. You’re created
for more. Don’t succumb to adversity.

Strive for greatness. You are meant to do something magnificent.


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 Protecting Your Kingdom

We can all stand in our own way.

We are all capable of great things. What stops us more than anything is ourselves.

At the start, we get excited, energized, and ready to tackle the world. But when we feel the
slightest amount of resistance from external sources, we stop dead in our tracks.

Doubt creeps in, we begin to question our abilities, our worth, and whether or not we can be the
one to achieve greatness.

We constantly fear judgement and we crave acceptance.

“Someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality.” — Les Brown

We are aware and understand that to prevail on our journey, we must step outside of the box.

We know that we must be courageous to follow our calling.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” —
Winston Churchill

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But most do not. Most will not. Why is this?

We fear success as much as we fear failure.

We find comfort in the herd of mediocrity where our declarations are muted by the monotone
humming of everyone else’s complacency.

This is to just exist. This isn’t living.

Success will always take work, hard and meaningful work.

Failure is a common thread of the brave. It is one’s ability to keep going that makes the difference.

You are worthy. Don’t fear success, embrace it.

“New levels bring new devils.” — T.D. Jakes

Stand strong at the gates and protect your kingdom.

Believe in your journey. Believe in yourself.


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 “You’re Going To Be A Father”

Never give up on the beauty of life.

Life has a way of working out for all of us if we keep moving forward. If we keep believing. If we
remain open to receiving the wonderful things that present themselves to us on a constant basis.

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At times, it is difficult to comprehend how life will once again be kind and enriching, but trust that
it will be. It is meant to be. You have to conceive it to receive it. If you’re not in the right frame of
mind, it is difficult to embrace what can be directly in front of you.

I’ve been through so many joyous highs and excruciating lows that it often hard for me to
articulate my experience. Perhaps chaos; perhaps luck; perhaps pain.

There’s no standard path for any of us. It doesn’t exist. We live by circumstance, but can control it
to some extent by intention. If we believe in our hearts that our lives are meant for greater things
and our actions reaffirm that belief, we will attract exactly that which we desire. Our lives belong to
us.

It took me years to understand this on a deep enough level to open my heart and become
accepting of what is possible, without the intrusion of doubt, guilt, and other venomous negatives.

I had always wanted a family, but was never in the “right place” for it to blossom. I had a difficult
time being open and comfortable. My relationships found their foundations in material things,
fancy destinations, and other hollow endeavours. I was involved with the wrong people for the
wrong reasons.

Time waits for no one, and the harsh realities of life can knock you around. You can become
discouraged. You can start to disbelieve. It happens to all of us. It is inevitable as we journey
through the seasons of life. Storms will come with certainty and so will the sunrise. It always
shines again.

We never stay down for long. We’re all inherently fighters—we fight to live; we fight to love; and we
fight to thrive. It is these victories over ourselves that reward us the most.

I thought I’d stay single. I’d had enough of goodbyes and shitty relationships. I have my dog,
Lennox. We rock and roll. We had it figured out. We were a duo.

Then lightning struck unexpectedly and I was captivated. It was perfect harmony from the
beginning. It made sense. It felt right.

It is right.

They say real love should be easy. I understand that now. Life will never be perfect, but together,
we feel perfect. That doesn’t mean we don’t face issues, but we face those issues together.

Tammy is less than three months away from bringing new life into this world. She has been
radiating every step of the way. I can’t say enough incredible things about her.

My heart is full already. I can’t imagine the moment our son arrives. I feel ecstasy just typing the
word son. Blessed, truly.

Whatever you desire, keep working towards it. Stay in motion. Remain open and accepting.

Don’t ever stop believing.

Life is beautiful.

Your life is beautiful.


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 On The Other Side of Hardship

There is freedom and empowerment on the other side of life’s struggles and hardship. Whether it's
addiction, business failure, depression, or a relationship collapse, we are meant to grow through
the pain and perceived defeat.

What feels like the end of our journey is, in reality, the preparation for the next challenge and
opportunity that life is going to present us with. This time, we will be better prepared, wiser, and
more resilient. We will be better partners, more capable business operators and stronger-willed
individuals in the face of our weaknesses. We will possess a deeper understanding of what
threatens us and operate from a perspective of more humility and empathy with others.

We become fortified by the trials of life. We are battle tested and battle ready. These are lessons
that you cannot learn in school. Education alone will always fall short without the influence of real-
world resistance.

Many great people have given in to the harsh realities of life’s setbacks and allowed the world to
simply step over them and pass them by, which it will always do. Stand back up and live your life.

It is what you deserve.

I have endured addiction, a narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationship, and a multi-million
dollar business failure. I refuse to allow any of those situations to define me.

The entire world loves a comeback. It is a choice that we all have to make.

Will you make it? 


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 My Son

You entered this beautiful world just as your grandpa was called to leave.

There are profound feelings that stir deep within me. They cannot be extinguished.

I am here to guide you, protect you, and strengthen you.

There is nothing that will ever take precedence over the love and care for our family.

Your mommy and I want you to live with the joy, laughter, and curiosity that form the essence and
innocence of childhood.

The world can be a beautiful place.

Your dreams don’t have to stay in your imagination; they are real possibilities. Run towards them
with a full and pure heart.

We will teach you to be proud of who you are and never to be ashamed. We want you to stand tall
for all the world to see.

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We are fiercely proud of our heritage.

Generations.

We will teach you to respect others and show humility, kindness, and respect.

Your grandpa taught me to do the same.

And when strength is needed, we will face what is in front of us.

Courage.

We will learn from our mistakes and we will be better human beings for it.

For now, let’s enjoy every little moment and cherish all that we share. Your cuddles, smiles, and
giggles are what we live for.

Son, your grandpa always stood beside me as I will always do for you.

I love you.

Legacy.


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 The Power Of Coming Back

“The risk of being bitten is the cost of getting up. As more people love you, more people
hate you. And the more people believe in you, help you and support you, the more people
hate you because it creates an opportunity for envy. Your success at any level creates an
opportunity for envy. The only way to avoid it is to stay down. If you play dead, even the
animals won’t bite you.”

Too many of us are hesitant and afraid to pursue our goals and dreams because we fear the
judgement and hatred from others. We seek constant validation. The moment any type of
negativity, hostility, and hatred come our way, we begin to withdraw and doubt our purpose. It
makes it difficult to maintain a positive attitude, but doing so is essential for your long-term
success.

For me personally, it was initially uncomfortable and humiliating to be open and honest about my
past challenges. I knew without question that there would be hate coming my way, as well as a
certain sense of gratification for others who wished to see me get knocked off my high perch. I
went through these challenges: it was part of my journey and I can’t hide from the truth.

As hesitant as I was, this honesty was what ultimately empowered and liberated me. It redirected
me and I began gravitating towards new challenges and communities that were supportive and
healthy.

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When you no longer seek validation or fear the judgement of others, there is nothing that can stop
you, except you.

“The real battleground is in your mind. It is never in your circumstance. It is always in your
head.”

Believe in your purpose and understand that you are “forged in the fire”. Your struggles are what
develop your character and solidify your resilience.

Surround yourself with positive and motivating people and become a part of their tribe. Nothing
matters as long as you bring your positive influence, focus, and vision to be shared with others.
You’ll inspire others and they will do the same for you

Unparalleled determination, positivity, and work ethic are infectious.

Life should be enjoyable and incredibly enriching for all of us.

It is up to us to make it so.

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