Barry’s Waffling Hall of Fame

Suggested Answers
These are all real examples of waffle from students’ work. How should these sentences be changed?

1 I’m going to give you an example that shows this. For example,

2 We can see there were two pigs who were candidates for the leadership of Animal Farm. Their
purpose was to lead Animalism. One of their names was Snowball and the other one was
Napoleon.

The two candidates for the leadership of Animal Farn were Snowball and Napoleon.

3 He changed school and went to another school. He changed school.

4 People use their power to be more powerful. People abuse their power.

5 The writers wrote this article but it seems they made some mistakes that have to be criticized
when they were writing this article.

The writers were wrong, when they stated that.....

6 I disagree with the authors’ idea of this article, but in this article there is just one part that I totally
agree with and that is the first beginning part of the article.

I diagree with the authors’ ideas except the one at the beginning.

7 In general, the writers didn’t use enough examples. In my opinion they should have given more
examples.

The writers should have given more examples.

8 .... to make readers rely on them and make them trust them... .. to make the readers trust them.

9 In addition, these two examples are not the only ones. There are more examples of ......

There are more examples of...

10 The authors should put some facts from reality into their argument. Some readers will disagree
with the argument, because of their own thoughts [...] To eliminate this kind of opinion of readers,
they should give a fact with true statistics [...] When authors add any fact as a support, it makes
people believe it because of the fact in reality.

The authors should have given real and convincing examples.

11 This information was used to support the authors’ argument. [Nothing – just cut it]

12 Gold and silver are both valuable and they are extremely expensive. Gold and silver are valuable.

13 Every year 75 000 people die per year there. 75 000 people die per year there.

14 It’s an important key point. It’s a key point.

From: https://www.udemy.com/course/ielts-writing-made-simpler/?referralCode=9FC38423FF47BA25C3AA