What Are the Top 5 Most Stressful

Life Events?
The top 5 most stressful life events and some tips on how to cope.

By 
Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP 
Published on July 26, 2022
 Medically reviewed by 
Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

Stress is the body’s reaction to change and is a normal part of our

life. Stress may be the result of changes in your relationships,
finances, school, health, career, and family. There are many
different types of stressors that can affect us and everyone
experiences stress differently.

Enduring chronic day-to-day stress can have a negative impact on

health and wellness. For instance, it can cause digestive issues,
inflammation, a weakened immune system, poor sleep, anxiety, and
sexual health issues.

It’s important to be aware of when you become overstressed so that

you can manage it appropriately. In addition to daily stressors,
there are life events that can cause significant stress. Here are the
top 5 most stressful life events and some tips on how to cope with
each.

Death of a Loved One
At the top of this list is the unexpected or expected death of a loved
one. Everyone is affected by bereavement differently but a common
experience is feeling many different emotions.

These can include confusion, shock, sadness, numbness, anger, and

even guilt. All of these feelings are valid.

Because the change is so significant to your life, it can be difficult to

process what happened and to face a reality without this person.
During the grieving process, the most important thing to understand
is that there is no right or wrong way to feel about your loved one’s
death. The time it takes to heal differs from person to person. There
is no standard way to grieve. 

Some tips to help cope with your loss:

 Let yourself feel the range of emotions: You may have

heard of the five stages of grief; however, research has shown
that it’s actually not helpful for you to identify which grieving
phase you are in, especially when you haven’t experienced it
before. Instead of worrying about going from one stage of
grief to another, it’s better to allow yourself to experience the
full range of emotions and focus on reaching a mental state of
peace.
 Take time to heal: Healing from the loss of a loved one can
be a long journey. You might feel like you want to move on
quickly because you want to get back to feeling normal;
however, it’s important to take as much time as you need to
properly care for yourself. Although you may feel isolated, it
can be beneficial to share your grief and talk about your
feelings with family and friends. 
 Remember there is no shame in getting professional
help: The death of a loved one can cause overwhelming stress
and significantly impact your life. Seeking support such
as bereavement therapy can help you work through difficult
emotions such as guilt and develop ways to adapt to a life
without your loved one.

Divorce or Separation
Divorce or separation from a spouse can cause major stress in your
life. Although the decision to end the relationship could be mutual,
both partners still need to deal with a host of issues while they
move forward separately. 

In addition to the emotional and mental stress, there are legal

considerations that need to be determined such as child custody,
finances, assets, and living situations.
Some tips to cope with a divorce or separation:

 Accept your emotions and learn to let go: Ending a

relationship can generate many feelings that are difficult to
manage. You may feel a sense of relief but then feel guilty
about feeling that way. You may feel angry and hopeless.
Instead of suppressing these feelings, embrace them and let
them go through you like a wave. Accepting your emotions has
been shown to be effective in helping others move forward
from their divorce.
 Focus on loving yourself: It may feel like you’ve failed or
that you didn’t try hard enough in your relationship; however,
it’s important during this time to practice self-care, self-
compassion, and be kind to yourself. 
 Set personal goals: Life without a partner can seem scary
but this is when you can reassess your personal goals. What
are some things you’ve always wanted to try or learn more
about? What are some hobbies you used to love but haven’t
had time to explore? It’s time to rediscover these and start
enjoying them.
 Join a support group: It can be helpful to connect with
others who are divorced or are currently going through a
divorce. A divorce support group can provide further tools for
you to cope with your divorce. Also, just knowing that you're
not alone can be helpful too.

Moving 
Whether it is for a new job, a change in relationship or
downsizing, moving can be quite a stressful event. If the move is
unexpected such as needing to leave your home because of a fire or
financial struggles, it can be incredibly devastating.

Moving involves practical and logistical factors such as packing,

unpacking, adjusting to a different community, and navigating the
new locations of services. Even if you’re not moving very far, the
emotional and mental impact can affect you, especially if you’ve
lived in your place for a long time.
Some tips to cope with a move:

 Remember stress is a normal part of moving: If you’re

moving into a bigger place or with your partner, you may feel
like you’re supposed to feel excited and happy. However,
moving can still be a stressful event even if it’s for a positive
reason. Change is hard for everyone and accepting stress as a
normal part of it can help you manage the move more
realistically.
 Plan ahead and stay organized: Give yourself plenty of time
to plan your move. It takes longer than you think to label,
sort, and pack your belongings. You may dread and want
to procrastinate during the process; however, the earlier you
start to plan your move, the less rushed and frantic you’ll feel
on moving day. 
 Ask for help from friends and family: It can be helpful to
have someone around while you’re packing and/or unpacking.
Even if they don’t physically help during the move, they can
act as a source of emotional support while you deal with the
stress of moving.
 Hire professional movers: If you are financially able to hire
professional movers, it can help reduce the amount of work
and stress related to packing, lifting, and transporting.

Long-Term Illness 
Illness and stress have a symbiotic relationship. If you experience
chronic stress, your immune system is weakened and you become
more susceptible to illness. Stress has been shown to increase the
risk of diabetes mellitus, peptic ulcers, ulcerative colitis and
atherosclerosis.

When you’re suffering from a long-term health condition, it can

cause stress to you and those who care about you. Managing a
chronic illness or injury can increase your financial burden and
reduce your ability to participate in certain activities. 

Some tips to cope with illness:

  Learn about your illness: Talk to a healthcare professional
about your illness and work together to design a treatment
plan that meets your specific needs. Depending on the severity
of your illness, it’s important to remain realistic about your
expectations. 
 Take care of yourself: If you’re able to, make sure to get
enough sleep, maintain a healthy diet, be physically active and
explore self-care practices such as meditation or mindfulness.
Ask for help with tasks you have difficulties doing. Avoid using
alcohol or substances as coping mechanisms.
 Seek counseling: There are various counseling options that
can help you manage your long-term health condition. These
include individual counseling, family and couples counseling,
and support groups. 

Job Loss
Losing your job is emotionally stressful as it can bring up feelings
such as shame, grief, disappointment, and guilt and trigger self-
defeating thoughts. In addition to the negative impact on your self-
esteem, you have to worry about your finances and finding a new
job. Your daily routine has changed abruptly and it can be difficult
to adjust, especially if you’ve been at your job for a long time. 

Some tips to cope with job loss:

 Don’t ignore your feelings: For some people, losing a job

could feel like losing a loved one. You may feel shocked, sad,
depressed, and/or angry. It’s normal to feel this way and it’s
better to feel your feelings instead of bottling them up.
 Learn to accept your situation: Try to focus on the things
you can control such as your reaction, attitude, and what can
do to move forward. Losing your income and benefits could
mean major lifestyle changes. It’s important to face your
reality and take charge of your finances by making a budget
and getting help from a financial advisor.
 Reach out to your network: Although you may feel like
you’re alone in this, you aren’t and you don’t have to deal with
this by yourself. Connecting with friends and family will make
it easier to cope. Losing your job is more common than you
think and sharing your experiences with those you trust can
help you understand your situation better and learn from
others.