DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

THE WOLF AND THE KING: A MYTH

BY: SAM GIBERGA

 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

THE WOLF AND THE KING: A MYTH

CAST (in order of appearance):

WOLF - m, a wolf
DRUM MAJOR (TIM) - m, leads the MARCHING BAND, best friend to JACKSON
SQUAD CAPTAIN (JACKIE) - f, leads the CHEERLEADERS
JESSE - m, the Homecoming King, quarterback
JAMES - m, best friend to JESSE, on the football team
JENNY - f, cross country
JACKSON - m, smells weird
SISTER EUNICE - f, measurer
SISTER MARY - f, spinner
SISTER SUSAN - f, cutter

NOTES:

*The decision to name so many characters with names beginning with the letter ‘J’ was
intentional in that the playwright thought that it was hilarious.

*As with all myths, metaphor and reality are as one.

*The Chorus, composed of the Marching Band and Cheerleaders can be as many as a
thousand people on stage to as little as two. They should all have names, regardless.

*This is not a musical, nor should it be treated as such. The melodies and fight songs required
on the part of the Chorus should be improvised in rehearsal.
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SCENE I: Homecoming

{An empty stage.}

{A Wolf appears, only it’s not a Wolf. It’s someone in a Wolf mascot costume. But for the
purposes of the play that is currently taking place, this creature is, in fact, an actual Wolf, and
you’re just going to have to square with that. It just has a comically large head and is wearing a
blue and yellow football jersey. Don’t judge him.}

WOLF
I am a Wolf.
You look at me, you take one look at me,
you think, “Ack! A wolf!”
Which is true.
Which is fair.
I am a wolf.
But it is also untrue.
Because there’s actually a person underneath all of this.
With flesh and blood and organs and shit and bile.
But for right now, I’m a wolf.
And that’s fine.
You wonder what is a wolf doing here.
Don’t we all wonder that from time to time?
What are we doing here?
I wonder that all the time.
But right now
Like specifically
I serve the function
Of kicking this whole thing off

I’m the foreplay.

I’m the prologue.
I’m the Messenger.

Beat.

Once upon a time…in high school.

St. Paul’s Catholic High School for Boys and Girls
A place of learning.
A place of Catholic learning.
A place local magazines call
“A great place to grow up.”
A far off land where -
Boys and girls,
in blue and gold uniforms

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attend this institution

In order to grow up great,
and Catholic
and good
and true
and then
go off to college
where they major in finance
and meet girlfriends and boyfriends
and then they get married
and have lots of kids and grandkids
that they send to St. Paul’s
which is a great place to grow the fuck up.

Beat.

It is a place where
Kings and Queens
Lambs and Wolves
Christians and pagans
and whatever in between
Still exist

A place where the stakes are impossibly high

And the consequences are impossibly dire
It is an Empire on the edge of the oblivion
a City of God on the edge of utter
frenzied paganism.
Here, hymns are taught in chapel whilst
every horned up, hormonally oppressed and sexually repressed
student is
BEGGING
For release, to cum
To let go
And yet—
They can’t.

For today is the day that our King

our beloved Jesse
returns with his armies
from a football game
across the ocean
by which I mean a lake
and prepares to make his way

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into the hallowed halls of St. Paul’s

not only as a victor but as a Homecoming King at last.
Uh oh.
Here comes the Chorus.
I’m going to bounce.
But don’t worry.
I’ll be back.

{A cacophony with an intensity matching that of a 30 megaton hydrogen

bomb breaks onto the stage. The MARCHING BAND enters, in a marching
formation, from both sides of the stage. They are followed moments later by
the CHEERLEADERS, who do flips and somersaults and pirouettes and all
that shit onto the stage. The entire scene is a blue and gold explosion of
movement and bad marching band music, like really bad.}

Oh GOD.

{The Wolf tries to hide himself away, avoiding the CHEERLEADERS at all costs.}

WOLF:
This
This is incorrigible

{The Wolf howls and exits.}

CHEERLEADERS:
Play, O Nerds, your trombones
And saxophones, Your trumpets
and your Lyres, play thine
little instruments that look like
Black and silver penises!

MARCHING BAND:
They’re called Clarinets!
Dance, o Cheerleaders
In your colored skirts
And sparkly tube tops
Shake thy Pom Poms
In elation and ecstasy!

CHEERLEADERS:
Though we have no ecstasy
Many of us have access to
Ample amounts of cocaine
and Percocet in our rich progenitors’
Medicine cabinets!
We have all the drugs! We love
Drugs! Drugs! Drugs!

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

MARCHING BAND:
Alas alas! We feel that the
meaning of ecstasy may have been
Lost on thee!

CHEERLEADERS:
Tell us, O nerds, tell the meaning of
This ecstasy of which you speak!

{A pause.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Like, ecstasy. You know. “Ecstasy.”
Like in the Dionysian sense.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
What are we talking here, Tim.
MDMA, Molly?
I’m a busy woman.

DRUM MAJOR:
Um. No. I don’t think you get it.
Just like, be really excited.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
What, are you saying we’re not cheerful enough?
We’re cheerleaders!

DRUM MAJOR:
That is not at all what I meant.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Maybe if you people would take the silver and black
Dicks out of your asses—

DRUM MAJOR:
Clarinets! They’re called clarinets!

MARCHING BAND:
Clarinets! They are called clarinets!
Woodwind instruments that make
Sweet melodies worthy of the heavens!

CHEERLEADERS:
The clarinets look like penises!

{Wolf reenters.}

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WOLF:
My friends, my friends, I think we’ve gotten off topic.
We’re supposed to be celebrating. I mean, you’re supposed to be.
I want no part of it.

{Wolf exits again.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Right.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Fine.

CHORUS:
Hark! The hero approaches!

MARCHING BAND:
On a yellow bus he returns with his
Men, bearing the standard of our hopes
and our pride, the standard of St. Paul’s
Catholic High School for Boys and Girls!

CHORUS:
Hark! The roar of the engine nears,

CHEERLEADERS:
The squeal of the tires and the sweet
smell of diesel is in the air
For the bright yellow chariot that bears
our savior, our hero, Our King back to his home
has arrived!

{The sound of a large engine stopping.}

DRUM MAJOR:
SOUND THE DRUMS!

{A high school drum solo commences, signaling the arrival of a hero.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
START CHANTING

{The CHEERLEADERS begin a generic cheerleading chant. I don’t know which one. Just
choose one, there’s like a thousand of them.}

DRUM MAJOR/SQUAD CAPTAIN:

STOP! CEASE!
ALL HAIL THE HOMECOMING KING!

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{James enters.}

JAMES
All hail
Jesse
The First of His name
General of the Football Squad
MVP for three years running
The Golden Wolf of St. Paul’s
And your HOMECOMING KING.
All hail!

CHORUS
All hail!

{Jesse enters, wearing a blue and gold letterman’s jacket. He is everything you would expect of
a Greek hero. Ruddy, athletic, bright-eyed and a symbol of hope for his people. His smile
inspires everyone on stage. There is an uproar at his entrance, ecstatic, as the MARCHING
BAND and CHEERLEADERS alike proclaim in a loud voice: ALL HAIL JESSE, OUR KING! OUR
KING! He beams, and holds a golden football trophy aloft. The cheers roar even louder. Then,
with the mere raise of his hand, the din of music and chanting is silenced. All look on, rapt at
this demigod among mortals.}

JESSE:
Hello SPS!

{More cheering, which he basks in for a few moments, then silences yet again.}

JESSE:
It is good to be back.
Road games just aren’t as fun.
I prefer the fights here on the home-front.
Like the one in three day’s time,
on our very own field,
for HOMECOMING.

{All cheer.}

MARCHING BAND:
Tell us, Jesse, light of our eyes
the tale of your victory over the
pagan Knights of Mandeville High.

CHEERLEADERS:
Yes, tell us, sweet Jesse,
That we might rejoice in your
Exploits and take lots of ecstasy!

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JESSE:
Okay well um first off that’s a no to the ecstasy, at least until college.

{CHEERLEADERS and MARCHING BAND alike sigh a little bit.}

JESSE:
Secondly, just because we played a “public” high school does not mean they’re pagan.
Oh, what am I talking about, they were fucking pagans.
They were godless heathens
and we slaughtered them.

{Roars from the CHORUS.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Tell us what happened, Jesse.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Don’t listen to him, Jesse.
But like for real tell us what happened.

JESSE:
You want to know what happened?

CHEERLEADERS/MARCHING BAND:
Hell yeah!

JESSE:
You really want to know what happened?

CHEERLEADERS/MARCHING BAND:
Fuck yeah!

JESSE:
I can’t HEAR YOU
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
OR NOT

CHEERLEADERS/MARCHING BAND:
HELL FUCKING YEAH

JESSE:
Okay.
I’ll tell you.
It was the fourth quarter.
They had us on the ropes, the bastards.
Seven minutes to go, Wolves down by three.

JAMES:
Yeah fucking tell them what happened, Jesse.

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JESSE:
That’s exactly what I’m FUCKING doing, James!

JAMES:
Sorry.

JESSE:
Where was I?

DRUM MAJOR/SQUAD CAPTAIN:

Seven minutes to go, Wolves down by three.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
[whispering, to DRUM MAJOR] I said it first.

JESSE:
Yeah yeah right right.
Third and long, we’re at the Knights forty one yard line.

JAMES:
Fortieth.

JESSE:
Excuse me?

JAMES:
Sorry.
I’ll be quiet.

JESSE
We!re battered.
We!re bruised.
We!re injured.
Two linemen down,
My center has lost two of his fingers,
My wide receiver has an arrow in his leg
And James here,
Well
James lost the tip of his penis in the battle.

JAMES:
That’s not exactly true.

JESSE:
I say
I say to my bois,
“LET’S EVEN THE ODDS!”
Snap the football. It’s in my hands, the fate of the battle, wrapped in leather,
Or, like, whatever a football is made of,

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

I look left, nobody’s open. I look right, nobody’s open. I look up,
I say a little prayer to our God, our Christian God, our good Lord
in whom all things are made possible—I say to him, Dear God just let
Me win this football game so that we can get super fucking drunk tonight
and hark! I look straight down the field.
{Beat.}
Number twenty-seven, David McGee, wide receiver is open as
a bottle of Jack Daniels at my house on a Friday night.
I throw the football through the night air,
and, through the grace of God
and also, like, me being a fucking badass.
He catches it.

{ALL cheer.}

But wait! We dared not chant Victory! into the night.

For who can drink of the Nattie Lite before they have been
scored from the gas station with a fake Oklahoma driver’s license?

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
What?

JESSE
Vengeance in their eyes, a storm of black and red brewing on the sweat damp turf
The pagan Knights pursue brave McGee,
Riddling his body with arrows,
When he falls to his knees in the end-zone
And our victory was SECURED.

{JESSE howls. ALL follow suit. JESSE silences them.}

JESSE
Of course.
David McGee wouldn’t make it back with us.

{David McGee’s girlfriend wails in horror and grief. Maybe she is comforted by a member of the
CHORUS.}

JESSE
Nor would many of our brothers,
who fell on the bloodied turf that night.
And now, a moment of silence,
thoughts and prayers,
for those we lost.

{A somber moment of silence.}

{Someone breaks the silence with a loud howl.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
ALL HAIL JESSE
ALL HAIL THE KING
ALL HAIL JESSE OUR HOMECOMING KING

{JAMES places a gold laurel crown upon JESSE’s head. JESSE takes it off.}

JESSE:
This laurel belongs not on my head,
but upon the brow of those
Who bear the blue and gold in my name!
And also it’s like
sort of ruining my hair.
Now! Tonight we revel! Prepare the togas!

{Cheers from everyone.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Pray, King, tell us
Whomst shall have the pleasure of your hand
At the Homecoming Dance in three days"!time?

JESSE:
Oh.
Um.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Yes, King, speak to us
And also like if you’re looking for a Homecoming date,
I’m like

{super conspicuous hair flip}

VERY available.

DRUM MAJOR:
Jeezus.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Fuck off.

JESSE:
Right.
Is that this week?

MARCHING BAND:
FRIDAY MILORD
FRIDAY

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

CHEERLEADERS:
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.

JESSE:
I haven’t decided yet!
I’ve been a little bit busy!
I’ve been fighting heathens!

{ALL cheer.}

MARCHING BAND:
But,
Jesse,
King of Homecoming,
Tell us–
Who shall feel the sway of your hips
At the Homecoming Dance?

CHEERLEADERS:
Hail,
Jesse,
King of Homecoming,
Tell us,
Who shall taste the lust on your lips
In the backseat of your chariot.
After the Homecoming Dance.

MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO?
WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO?
WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO?
WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO? WHO?
WHO?
{This should become a ritualistic chant.}

JAMES:
Who Jesse?

JESSE:
I DON’T KNOW, ALRIGHT

{Time stops, darkness on the stage. JESSE in a pool of light. Somewhere, in another pool of
light, JENNY runs through the audience at a graceful, loping pace. The CHORUS sings a
melody.}

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JESSE:
Her?
Who is that?
I’ll take her.

CHORUS:
Jennifer, Swift-Footed Descendent of Atalanta.

JESSE:
Who?

CHORUS:
Jenny.

{JENNY runs out of sight, out of mind. The lights return to normal.}

JAMES:
Her?

{DRUM MAJOR kneels before JESSE.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Hail, king, but what you seek
is unattainable she—

JESSE:
Stand up, Timothy. Talk normal.

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh.
Um.
She has sworn off the company of men.

JESSE:
The fuck does that mean?

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
It means she’s taken a vow of chastity.

JESSE:
Um.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
She doth not fuck.

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JESSE:
So?
I will woo this Jenny.
She shall be my Queen.
I’m the fucking King.
She’ll be honored.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
I’d be honored.

JESSE:
I heard that.
And noted. Now.
If you’ll excuse me
I have to get to Spanish.

DRUM MAJOR:
Shall we play you out?

JESSE:
Eh, sure, what the hell.
That’d be nice.

DRUM MAJOR:
LIGHT EM UP FELLAS.

{The MARCHING BAND plays a rousing Fight Song (see: Notes) and the CHEERLEADERS do
whatever it is that cheerleaders do. JESSE exits, followed by JAMES, the CHEERLEADERS,
and MARCHING BAND. The DRUM MAJOR remains.}

DRUM MAJOR:
[half humming/half singing]
‘Let’s cheer St. Pauls
to victory
Yell for the Blue and Gold,
we’ll shout a loud hurray Hurrah
the Wolves are brave and bold
Rah rah rah

{JACKSON enters.}

JACKSON:
Hi.

DRUM MAJOR:
Jesus FUCK

JACKSON:
Did I scare you?

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DRUM MAJOR:
YES you DID.

JACKSON:
Sorry
I’m sorry!

DRUM MAJOR:
Where have you been?
You missed the rally.

JACKSON:
I had a dentist’s appointment.
What did I miss?

DRUM MAJOR:
Jesse regaled us with the tale of his slaughter of Mandeville High.

JACKSON:
How riveting.

DRUM MAJOR:
It was.

{Spotlight on JENNY, still on her run.}

JACKSON:
Who’s that?

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh
That’s Jenny
Jesse is gonna ask her out

{JENNY exits.}

JACKSON:
Huh.
Good for her I guess.

DRUM MAJOR:
Whatever.
Come on.
We’ll be late for Spanish.

{As they exit:}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
Why are we even studying Spanish?
Shouldn’t we study like Greek or something?
That would be fun.

DRUM MAJOR:
Don’t be an idiot.
Greek is useless.

Scene II: The Grove

{Somewhere in the Woods. A grove?

There is a small shrine in the middle of the grove, adorned with a few candles.

Jenny enters.

She looks around.

She kneels before the shrine, and lights the candles.}

JENNY
By the winds that blow in the night;
By the rustle of leaves by beasts of the unknown;
By the arm of the galaxy seen only where holy darkness reigns;
Goddess of the Hunt, I offer this prayer to you.

{Jenny finishes lighting the candles.}

JENNY
Your wild places are vanishing, my lady;
all that is left is the brush on the side of the interstate;
the little groves of trees that the bulldozers forgot;
and like the Appalachian Trail, I guess?
But it’s kinda been taken over by liberal arts students,
which is almost worse.
That’s beside the point.
It is hard to give you glory, O Goddess.
I look for you everywhere, but all I see are—
people.
I’m not very good with people.
People make me nervous. They don’t have twigs in their hair.

{Beat. Jenny looks around.}

I know it’s not much;

but I hope it will do.
It’s a grove of pines behind the soccer field.

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Don’t worry I’ll—I’ll hang some lights or something.

It’ll be really nice.
I’ll make it nice for you.

{Jenny takes something out of her backpack. A slab of prime rib. She places it on the pile of
stones. She prays.}

I didn’t hunt this meat or kill it.

I got it at the Harris Teeter down the street.
The guy at the deli gave me a weird look like,
“How is one small girl going to eat all this meat?”
I just said,
“It’s not for me. It’s for a god.”
He gave me another weird look.
Anyway.
Please accept this offering, this supplication,
from your most humble servant.

{A moment. Jenny rises, looks around for someone who isn’t there. She exits.}

{The Wolf enters, sniffing.}

WOLF
Oh.
Prime rib.

{He takes the prime rib.}

WOLF
I do it with rosemary and tarragon.

{The Wolf exits.}

Scene III: The Sisters

{The same day. The Rectory. SISTER EUNICE is spinning some handmade thread. SISTER
MARY seems to be measuring it. SISTER SUSAN is praying, with a rosary. The three Sisters
should be as old as they are timeless and as beautiful as they are hideous. And obviously, this
goes without saying, they are in attire similar to that of a nun. JESSE enters.}

JESSE:
Morning ladies.

{There is no answer.}

JESSE:
You wanted to see me?

{No answer.}

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JESSE:
Still knitting, I see.
That looks um
Fun

SISTER SUSAN:
Who is this boy I see before me

{The Sisters laugh.}

SISTER MARY:
The boy who calls himself a King!

SISTER EUNICE:
As though he were above our Lord and Savior?

JESSE:
I
I don’t even call myself that

SISTER EUNICE:
Yet he likes when other call him that

SISTER MARY:
When they cry his name

SISTER SUSAN:
When they shout in one loud voice:

ALL:
ALL HAIL THE HOMECOMING KING

{Beat.}

JESSE (measured):
In my own defense
I didn’t even want the Crown.

{The Sisters laugh.}

JESSE:
Right.
Well.
If there was nothing you needed to see me about—
I have Spanish.

SISTER EUNICE:
Ugh. Spanish.

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SISTER MARY:
They should learn Greek.

SISTER SUSAN:
Don’t be stupid.
Greek is a dead language.

SISTER EUNICE (sweetly):

Stay, Jesse!

SISTER MARY:
Yes, stay!

SISTER SUSAN:
Please, stay.

ALL
STAY.
SISTER MARY:
We are here to help you.

SISTER EUNICE:
We are educators after all.

SISTER SUSAN
And women of God.

ALL:
Most of the time.

JESSE:
What do you want to help me with?

SISTER SUSAN:
A warning we have.

SISTER EUNICE:
A warning we will give.

SISTER MARY:
If you are willing to listen.

SISTER SUSAN:
The girl, Jesse.

SISTER EUNICE:
Swift-Footed Jennifer
Descendant of Atalanta

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SISTER MARY:
You must not pursue her.

JESSE:
I’m sorry um
How do you know—?

SISTER SUSAN:
You forget yourself, boy.

SISTER MARY:
We are the Sisters of the Hidden Sepulcher.

SISTER EUNICE:
All day and night
We pray

SISTER SUSAN:
And all day and night
We see

JESSE:
You see?

SISTER MARY:
We are shown things.
Hidden things terrible things.

JESSE:
Señora Schrödinger gets really upset when—

SISTER SUSAN:
You will get to class.

SISTER EUNICE:
After you listen to us.

JESSE:
Look
I haven’t talked to this Swift-Footed Jenny

{The Sisters go back to their spinning.}

ALL:
Fine.

JESSE:
What’s wrong with her?

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JESSE:
What are you even doing?

SISTER MARY:
Making a tapestry.

SISTER EUNICE:
It’s what we do.

SISTER SUSAN:
All sisters have their thing
And making tapestries

ALL:
Is ours.

{A pause.}

JESSE:
What’s wrong with Jenny?

SISTER EUNICE:
He asks the wrong questions

SISTER MARY:
So he’ll get the wrong answers

JESSE:
Okay you know what?
You want to play games with me?
Fuck this shit.
I’m leaving.

{The Sisters are suddenly much larger than life and older than the universe. It is terrifying.}

ALL:
YOU DARE USE SUCH PROFANITY
IN THE PRESENCE OF THE INSCRUTABLE DIVINE
FINE THEN BOY GO FORTH WITH YOUR ARROGANCE
YOUR PRIDE WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL
YOUR IMPUDENCE WILL BE YOUR CALAMITY.
VERILY, I SAY UNTO THEE:

“DO NOT SUPPOSE THAT I CAME TO BRING PEACE

TO THE EARTH,
I DID NOT COME TO BRING PEACE, BUT A SWORD.”

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{SISTER EUNICE spins the thread, and SISTER MARY measures it. As SISTER MARY and
SISTER EUNICE chant in some unknown language, SISTER SUSAN appears with a pair of
comically large scissors. The Sisters continue to chant until finally SISTER SUSAN cuts the
thread. The chanting stops. The Sisters appear normal again. JESSE stands very still.}

SISTER MARY:
Something wrong dear?

SISTER EUNICE:
You’d better get along to class, dear.

SISTER SUSAN:
Run along now.
Thanks for stopping by.
We’ll let Coach Bill know.

JESSE:
What?

SISTER MARY:
About the scholarship, dear!

JESSE:
What scholarship?

SISTER MARY:
If you can stay—

ALL:
Focused.

SISTER EUNICE:
Run along now!

{JESSE goes to exit.}

SISTER SUSAN:
And Jesse?

JESSE:
Yes, sister?

ALL:
BEWARE THE WOLF IN THE HOUSE OF THE KING
BEWARE THE WITCHES IN WOODS WHO SING

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JESSE:
Um.
Will do.
I’ll remember that.

{JESSE exits.}

SISTER MARY:
What a douche.

{Lights fade.}

Scene IV: Metamorphoses

{The same day. Outside. Lunch hour. JACKSON and DRUM MAJOR sit together at the edge of
the stage. DRUM MAJOR is chewing an apple rather loudly while he speaks.}
DRUM MAJOR:
She is insufferable.

JACKSON:
She is a cheerleader.

DRUM MAJOR:
But that’s not even it!
I can tolerate most of them.
It’s just her! What democracy
do we live in that allowed that
hag to be elected captain of the
cheerleading squad?

JACKSON:
You chew very loudly, do you know that?
It’s like
It’s like listening to Cronus, dreaded King of the Titans,
crunching on the skulls of his own children.

{Beat.}

JACKSON
You know.
Like in the—

DRUM MAJOR
The Greek Myth?
Yes. Yes, Jackson, I do know.
We’ve been over this.
Now will you please for the love of GOD

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JACKSON
Or gods.

DRUM MAJOR
stop it with the Greek myth shit?

{Beat.}

JACKSON
Sorry.

DRUM MAJOR
Leave it in class okay?
I’m trying to have a normal conversation with you

JACKSON
I’m not normal?

DRUM MAJOR (a little exasperated):

Jesus. No.

JACKSON
But that is what you mean.

DRUM MAJOR
No I just mean—
You know what?
Forget it.

{A beat of pity.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh come on man
I mean I like you!
Obviously!
I think you’re great!
It’s just the rest of the world. MARCHING BAND (whispering):
If you would just— Look! Look! There goes the
Oh ignore them. Wet Dog Boy!
He reeks of sweat and
JACKSON: week old gymnasium socks
I don’t think I reek. that fester in their locker room
Do I reek? tomb for time immemorial!

DRUM MAJOR:
It’s
CHEERLEADERS (whispering):
How did she describe it.
Yes! Yes!
How did she describe it?

22
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
She?

DRUM MAJOR:
It’s like this wet dog smell but a sweaty wet dog

{JACKSON smells his armpits.}

JACKSON:
I don’t think I smell so bad.

DRUM MAJOR:
Just wear some deodorant my friend.

JACKSON:
I do!
I do wear deodorant!

DRUM MAJOR:
Whoa whoa whoa
It’s okay man

JACKSON:
BUT I WEAR FUCKING DEODORANT.

{Silence. Everyone looks at JACKSON.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Right then.
Um. Well.
I’m gonna go.
I’ve got um. Class.

JACKSON:
It’s lunch!

DRUM MAJOR:
Yeah
Uh huh

{DRUM MAJOR hurries offstage.}

{JACKSON eats alone for a few moments, occasionally smelling himself.}

JACKSON:
Shit.

23
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

CHORUS:
Alas alas,
For Wet Dog Boy
Hated he is
and reviled he will remain
Destiny chooses those who
Must traverse their paths alone
and the Wet Dog Boy is one of these
Unfortunate souls, a lone wolf, from now

JACKSON (to CHORUS)

Do you all really have nothing better to do?

{JACKSON takes out a book from his backpack. He begins to read.}

CHORUS
Alas alas
For poor Wet Dog Boy
Outcast of his school
We would look upon him with pity
Were we not in high school
But we are in high school
And people in high school
Just simply SUCK.

Beat.

JACKSON
I!m reading.
Please go away.

CHEERLEADERS
He!s reading.

MARCHING BAND
He wants us to go away.

{The SQUAD CAPTAIN approaches JACKSON and sits beside him.}

Beat.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What are you reading,
Wet Dog?

JACKSON
I doubt you!ve heard of it.

24
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Are you calling me dumb?

{Beat. Silence. JACKSON says nothing, just keeps on reading.

SQUAD CAPTAIN rips the book from his hands.}

JACKSON
Give. it. back.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN reads the title.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Metamorphosus.
By: Ahvid.

JACKSON
It!s called Metamorphoses.
By: Ovid.

Beat.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
So.
You are calling me dumb.

JACKSON
What?
No, I just–

SQUAD CAPTAIN
You were…what?
Being a pretentious asshole.

JACKSON
I was correcting you.

CHORUS
How rude.

JACKSON
Jackie.
Please give it back.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Sure.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN goes to hand the book back to JACKSON. Instead, she chucks it
offstag\]=presumably into the woods. Beat.}

JACKSON
Wow.

25
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Oops.

JACKSON
Real mature, Jackie.

{JACKSON exits, in the direction of his book.}

Scene V: Rejection Scene

{St. Paul’s. Jenny sits on the edge of the stage. The Chorus is waiting, watching Jenny intently,
like crows almost.

Jesse enters. He sits beside Jenny.}

JESSE
Hello.

JENNY
Um
Hello.

JESSE
I’m Jesse.
But you already knew that, I’m sure.

{Beat.}

JENNY
Hi.
I’m Jenny.

JESSE
Do you believe in destiny, Jenny?

JENNY
Excuse me what?

JESSE
Because I do.
And I believe
that we are destined
to go to Homecoming together
With you as my Queen and I your King

CHORUS
ALL HAIL THE HOMECOMING KING

26
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
oh.
um.
wow.

{Beat.}

JESSE
Jennifer, Swift-Footed Descendant of Atlanta—

JAMES (whispered)
Atalanta

JESSE
James shut up and get the FUCK back in the Chorus.

{Beat. Jesse composes himself.}

JESSE
Atalanta,
you are beautiful
and when I saw you run
the other day I knew in that moment
we were destined to be joined at the Homecoming Dance.
Take my hand. Take it, don’t be afraid.
I don’t bite.

{JENNY takes his hand.}

JENNY
okay—?

JESSE
Jennifer

JENNY
Just Jenny is fine

JESSE
Will you be my Queen of Homecoming?

{Beat.}

JENNY
I’m sorry um
Who are you again?

JESSE
What?

27
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
I’ve literally never met you before in my life.

JESSE
Do you not know who I am?

CHORUS
Do you not know who he is?

JENNY
um…
not really?

{JESSE raises his hands and CHORUS proclaims in one loud voice:}

CHORUS
Hark!
He is Jesse!
The Golden Wolf of St. Paul’s
Chosen by the people and
Chosen by our Lord Father
and heralded by the angelic host
of heaven to be our divinely ordained
Homecoming King.

JAMES
Long live the King!

CHORUS
LONG LIVE THE KING.

{Beat.}

JENNY
Wow
That was-/

JESSE JENNY
Awesome. A lot.

{Beat.}

JESSE
So.
Um.
You’ll go with me?

{Long pause.}

28
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
You seem like a decent…person

JESSE
The decentest

JENNY
And you’re certainly um
Passionate
about Homecoming

JESSE
The passionatest

JENNY
But I’m going to have say um
No?
No thank you?

MARCHING BAND
What?

CHEERLEADERS
What?

CHORUS
What?
JESSE
what?

JENNY
Yeah.
But thanks.
I appreciate the offer.

JESSE
Why.
Why not.

{Beat.}

JENNY
I’m not going to Homecoming, Jesse.
I’ve…got a thing.

JESSE
This is about your chastity thing, isn’t it.

29
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
Excuse me?
How do you know about that?

JESSE
Well?
Is it?

JENNY
So what if it is?

JESSE
As your King,
I demand you go to Homecoming with me.

{JENNY laughs. JESSE most certainly does not.}

JENNY
As my King?

{Beat.}

JENNY
Wait you’re serious aren’t you?
Wow.
Um.
Jesse?
You’re not my King.
{An audible gasp from the CHORUS. Maybe someone faints.}

JESSE
Oh I’m not?

JENNY
No.
You’re not.
I have no King.
Homecoming
or otherwise.

{Jenny rises.}

JENNY
Thanks for the invite, Jesse.
But it’s still a no.

{Jesse stands too.}

30
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{JESSE leans in real close and whispers in her ear.}

JESSE
You know,
this pack of wolves,
will eat you alive
if you do this.

{JENNY leans in real close too.}

JENNY
I’ve dealt with far worse than wolves,
King Jesse.

JESSE
I like you. You’re fierce.
I’ll see you at the toga party, Jennifer.
Maybe by then you’ll have a change of heart?

JENNY
I rather doubt it.

{Jenny exits. She flips off the Chorus. Another person faints.}

{JESSE calls after her.}

JESSE
This isn’t over, Jennifer the Swift-Footed!
I get what I want! And I want you.

{JESSE addresses the CHORUS.}

JESSE
Don’t you people have class?
Or something?

JAMES
Let’s get out of here.

{JESSE and JAMES exit.}

CHORUS
Alas alas
For our Homecoming King!
Rejected and denied
Shamed and mortified
by that wily and elusive
Jenny, Swift-Footed Descendant of Atalanta,

31
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Foul things are on the wind,

we can feel it in the stale air of the hallway.
What does it mean for the Kingdom that even a King
can be rejected to a high-school dance?

{Lights fade.}

Scene VI: Jackson in the Woods

{The Shrine in the Woods. Jackson wanders on stage, looking for his book. It has landed near
the Shrine. He picks it up. He dusts it off. He starts to speak. Maybe to us, maybe to the woods,
maybe to someone else. He leafs through the book.}

JACKSON
I always liked the stories in this thing.
They were better places to live than St. Paul!s.
Sure, the Greeks were brutal and cruel and bloodthirsty.
Their gods were as imperfect as we are.
Perhaps that is why I like them so much.
Beat.
I love Tim.
He!s a good guy, if you can get to know him.
Really know him.
But like the rest of the Chorus,
He seems to be caught in the spell of this institution.
Beat.
I never asked to be Catholic.
I never asked to be told what is and what is not.
And I!m tired of being told what is and what is not
what is heaven and what is hell by
The Jackies
And the Jesses
And the Sisters in all their creepiness.
I want to find out for myself.
All my life, I!ve been searching for answers.
There!s a Walt Whitman quote:
#Be curious—“

{JENNY enters, with a package of prime rib.}

JENNY
Fuck.
JACKSON
Oh um
Hi.

32
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
Who are you?
What are you doing out here?

JACKSON
Wow you are
You are upset
I lost my book
JENNY
Why was your book out here?

JACKSON
Someone threw it.

JENNY
Who?

JACKSON
The Squad Captain.
Jackie.
She um.
She doesn!t like me very much.

JENNY
That!s horrible.

JACKSON
Is what it is.
Some people throw books.
Some people have their books thrown.
So it is.

{JACKSON hands the book to JENNY. JENNY looks at it. She looks at JACKSON.}

JENNY
So it is.
My name is Jenny.

JACKSON
Oh—
Jenny, Swift-Footed Descendant of Atalanta!
I heard that Jesse is taking you to Homecoming or something.
Beat.
Congratulations!

JENNY
Thanks.

33
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON
So um
What are you doing out here?

JENNY
None of your business.

JACKSON
Fair enough.
Beat.
I’ll be going.

JENNY
Why do you read those stories?

JACKSON
What, these?
I don’t know.
I guess I like the world better.

JENNY
So do I.

{Jenny begins tending to the shrine.}

{Pause.}

JACKSON
Jenny um
Who are you?

JENNY
I think you should go.

JACKSON
You’re not Catholic,
are you?

JENNY
No. I’m not.

JACKSON
What are you.

JENNY
What do they say that I am?

JACKSON
Who?

34
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
I don’t know.
Them.

JACKSON
Oh
Oh you mean the Chorus?

JENNY
Sure.

JACKSON
They say you are a rebellious little wench.
A prudish little harlot.
A mewling foul temptress.
A—

JENNY
That’s enough.
What do they say you are?

JACKSON
They say I am a Wet Dog
with the stench of gym socks
locked in a locker room tomb
for time immemorial.
Beat.
Jenny, are you alright?

JENNY
I’m fine.

JACKSON
Okay.
I’m gonna go.

{Beat. JACKSON goes to exit.}

JENNY
Come with me.

JACKSON
Where…are we going?

JENNY
To that fucking toga party.

{Jenny exits.}

35
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON
um
…okay.

{Jackson follows.}

Scene VII: Pack Hunters

{Wolf is sitting alone on stage. He might be fanning himself.}

WOLF:
I know what you’re thinking. Do I ever think about eating human children. It’s a fair question.
Yes and no, I’d say? Like, it depends on the human. And also, that’s very speciest of you to
say. Or ask. Or think. Wolves, I will have you know, do not attack humans in the wild. Unless
like provoked, obviously. You’re a provocative lot! You’re the ones who attack us. “Oh, but that
big bad scary wolf was going to eat my sheep! Boo hoo!” You’ve got like ninety-nine other
sheep. I can’t have one fucking sheep to feed my family? Capitalist swine. And don’t get me
started on the fairy tales. Jesus. Little Red Riding Hood? First off, if that ditzy fuck couldn’t tell
the difference between her own GRANDMOTHER and a Timberwolf, then she deserved to die.
Two-faced little girl just showing up at Grandma’s house when the woman’s on her deathbed
so she can collect her inheritance check. Secondly, do I strike you as someone who would
dress up as an elderly woman just to score some adolescent human meat? I am a PACK.
HUNTER. If I’m in your grannie’s bed wearing a bonnet you can bet your ass that the rest of my
posse is waiting right outside the house ready to fuck you up. But that’s not our style. We don’t
fuck with humans. That movie “The Grey” from a couple years back? Liam Neeson? Yeah.
Utter bullshit. Love Liam though, he’s great. Good shit.
I gotta be getting back.
They’ll be wondering where I wandered off to.
Before you know it they’ll be joking about leashing me.

Scene VIII: Toga! Toga! Toga!

{The “Toga” party. That night. The MARCHING BAND and CHEERLEADERS intermingle, along
with various other dignitaries from Saint Paul’s High School. Loud generic party music plays. I
didn’t go to a lot of high school parties so just base it off of your personal experience. Everyone
is in a toga. JESSE enters with his entourage, and JAMES.}

MARCHING BAND:
Hark! The King has arrived!
Let’s get this party started!

CHEERLEADERS:
Hark! Jesse is here!
Someone tap the keg!

DRUM MAJOR:
Get the man a drink!

{Someone hands Jesse a beer.}

36
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JAMES
No, peasant.
We don’t drink b4 big games.

DRUM MAJOR
Come now.
One beer won’t hurt the King’s throwing arm.

{Beat.}

JESSE
Shut the fuck up, James.

JAMES
As you wish.

{Jesse shotguns the beer. The Chorus cheers.}

JESSE
For St. Paul’s!

CHORUS
FOR ST. PAUL’S!

{Chorus gradually returns to their revels. James gives the King a concerned look.}

JAMES
You look harrowed, Shield-Brother.
What ails you?

JESSE
Jenny, James.

JAMES
Jenny, Swift-Footed Descendent of Atalanta?

JESSE
She ails me, obviously.

{The SQUAD CAPTAIN overhears this. Perhaps she gives Jesse a look.}

JAMES
Oh.

JESSE
What the fuck is up with her?
She—
She defied me.

36
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{Beat.}

JAMES
Permission to speak freely,
O Shield-Brother?

JESSE
Jesus Christ, James, yes.
Just don’t ask like that.

JAMES
Pardon, friend.
But um.
Why the fuck do you care?

JESSE
Excuse me?

JAMES
You are my,
our
King, wise and kind
and loved by all.
Why do you need this Jenny?

{Beat. James gestures towards SQUAD CAPTAIN.}

JAMES
You could have anyone you want.

JESSE
Oh.
Oh Jackie.

JAMES
She has, as the kids say,
“the hots” for you.
Has for years.
The lascivious little minx.

JESSE
Right.

JAMES
Just take her.
She’s the ruthless and beautiful Captain of the Cheerleading Squad.
She’s yours, if you want her.

37
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{Jesse looks at SQUAD CAPTAIN for some moments. SQUAD CAPTAIN might give him a little
wave from across the party. Jesse quickly looks away.}

JESSE
It’s true. I could have any one of them.
But Jenny. Jenny defied me.
It’s about the hunt, James.
We are Wolves.

{Beat. Jesse takes another beer. Or a bottle of whiskey. Or maybe does a shot. Another look of
concern from James.}

JESSE
Oh don’t look at me like that,
Shield-Brother.

JAMES
But I worry for you, Shield-Brother.

JESSE
Well, don’t.
It’s just been a long day.
Beat.
Went to see the sisters.
Another shot.
So weird.
They cut the thread thing today
in some sort of highly religious yet
deeply occult ritual.
Another shot.
Bro.
So.
Weird.
Another shot.

JAMES
They cut it?

JESSE
Yeah.
Weird, right?

JAMES
Yeah.
Beat.
Weird.
I’m um.
I’m going to get a drink.
Or something.

38
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JESSE
Attaboi,
James.
Let your hair down.

{JAMES exits. SQUAD CAPTAIN makes her way over to Jesse. They stand next to each other
for some moments, rather awkwardly.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
So. King.
Enjoying the “revels?”
Don’t think I’ve seen you shotgun a beer like that since seventh grade.

JESSE
Not now, Jackie.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Whoa cowboy.
Chill out.
Beat.
Come with me.

JESSE
What?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Upstairs.

JESSE
Why?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
You look like you could use a friend.
Let’s get fucked up. Just like old times.

JESSE
Like old times?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Like old times.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN offers Jesse her hand. Jesse smiles. He takes it. It’s kind of a sweet
moment, in a hormonally-charged, American high-school kind of a way.}

JESSE
Good ole’ Jackie.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN begins to lead Jesse offstage by the hand when JENNY enters, dressed in a
traditional Greek chiton. JACKSON follows behind, wearing Star Wars bedsheets.}

39
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JESSE
Wait for me upstairs.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
But—

JESSE
Go.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Don’t keep me waiting.
Cowboy.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN, giving JENNY a truly yet subtly derisive look, exits.}

MARCHING BAND:
Look, there goes fleet-footed Jenny
the one our King shall take to Homecoming.
I heard she lives in the woods
and eats rabbits for dinner.
Why take her?

CHEERLEADERS:
Yes, there walks swift-footed Jenny
the one that our King desires most,
She’s not even wearing a proper toga!

JENNY:
It’s a Greek chiton.

MARCHING BAND:
What is wrong with her?

CHEERLEADERS:
Why does the king want her?

CHORUS
What does the King even see in her?
She wields this alleged “vow of chastity”
in mockery of our King’s desires,
It is an outrage.

MARCHING BAND: CHEERLEADERS:

Tease. Prude.
Prude. Tease.
Tease. Prude.
Prude. Tease.
Tease. Prude.
Prude. Tease.

40
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY:
ENOUGH.
{For a moment, JENNY seems much older, ancient even, while staying the same age. She
radiates power.}

JENNY:
I belong to no man, woman, or creature of Earth
and all of you would do well to remember the steel of my will.
Tell that to your King, and let him
face me himself.

MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
She’s so weird.

CHORUS
So weird.

{JESSE approaches.}

JESSE
Jenny!
What a sexy surprise.

JENNY
Hello, Jesse.

JESSE
Can I get you a drink?

JENNY
I did not come here tonight to drink, Jesse.

JESSE (coldly)
Then why are you here, Jenny.

JENNY
I came to deliver a message.

JESSE
Ah. I see.
(to the CHORUS)
EVERYONE! EVERYONE! SHUT THE FUCK UP.
TURN OFF THE MUSIC.
My Jennifer would like to say something.
Beat.
Let’s hear it then.

41
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
The answer is no.

JESSE
No.

JENNY
I’m not going to Homecoming with you.

JESSE
Right. You can drop the whole chastity thing.
What time should I pick you up.

JENNY
You’re not understanding.
You may have this pack of Wolves fooled.
But not me. I know who you are.

JESSE
And who is that?

JENNY
You may call yourself a King, Jesse.
But you’re just a
small
scared
impotent
childish
little man
who lacks the balls to accept when a person says no.
So, to make myself, absolutely, undeniably clear for your
concussed brain, my answer is no.

{JESSE laughs for a moment. Then he grabs JENNY by the throat and pushes her against a
wall.}

JESSE
You listen to me now,
you beautiful creature.
I am King Jesse.
My will is that of God.
Run, hide, rebuke me all you want.
I get what I want.
And I want you.

JACKSON
Let her go.

42
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JESSE
Who the hell are you?

JACKSON
Her friend.
Now let her go.
You’re hurting her.

{JESSE seemingly becomes aware of what he is doing. He releases JENNY, who drops to the
ground, gasping. JENNY runs offstage.}

JESSE
Fuck wait—
Jenny.
Jenny!
Fuck.
FUCK.
What are you all looking at?!

JAMES
Back to your drinks, the lot of you.
(To JESSE) Come on, Shield-Brother.
JESSE
Get your hands off of me.
Where’s Jackie.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN appears basically out of nowhere.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Right here, boss.

JESSE
Come on.

{JESSE looks around at the eyes on him.}

JESSE
I—I need some air.
I feel like I’m suffocating.

{JESSE and SQUAD CAPTAIN exit. DRUM MAJOR approaches JACKSON.}

DRUM MAJOR
Hey bud.

JACKSON
Hey.

43
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

DRUM MAJOR
What the fuck are you doing?

JACKSON
Helping my new friend.

DRUM MAJOR
Well.
Be careful. Friend.

{DRUM MAJOR exits. So does JACKSON.}

JAMES:
He’s a good man, and don’t you dare think otherwise.
I’ve known him since the seventh grade when we played flag football together.
I was a small and scrawny and weak and the rest of the team bullied me relentlessly.
We were the Fountainbleau Spartans, and, as is Spartan tradition, the coach told me to throw
myself off of a cliff for the good of the team.
Jesse was the only Spartan who believed in me, who would even talk to me.
Every day, he would train with me after practice, run with me until we sweat blood, lifted
weights until the meat on our bones ached.
We fought as Shield-Brothers from the day we met.
He was a true King long before this pack of starving jackals and ravenous vultures decreed it
so.
You saw it yourself!
He refused their crown of gold laurels, he rebuked their gold and blue banners.
Don’t you dare judge him. Don’t you dare.
You—you don’t know what he’s going through.
The pressure, the weight on his shoulders that would harrow the likes of even world-bearing
Atlas.
Please. Please believe me. Please. Please. Please believe me. Please? Pretty please? Please
believe me.
He’s a good man. But it’s hard for a good man to be King, and still harder for a King to be a
good man.
Now what’s a war-hero got to do
to get a shot of whiskey around
here?

{Outside. JENNY sits on the edge of the stage. She is praying. JACKSON enters. A pause.}

JENNY
I didn’t need your help.

JACKSON
I know.

JENNY:
I had it handled.

44
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
Jenny I—
I think you should go to the police.

JENNY:
You’re sweet Jackson.
But you’re unbearably naïve.

{JACKSON sits beside JENNY.}

JACKSON:
Explain your logic.

JENNY:
It’s my word against his.

JACKSON:
And?

JENNY:
Every single hyena in there would vouch for their precious King if it came down to it.
And even the police would vouch for their hometown American hero.
That’s how the world works. As much as it did in ancient Greece
as it does now.

JACKSON:
Oh.
I see.

JENNY:
No, you don’t.

JACKSON:
You’re right.

{They are both quiet for some moments.}

JENNY:
Yeah.

{Laughter is heard offstage. JESSE enters with his arm over SQUAD CAPTAIN. They are both
drunk. And disheveled.}

JESSE:
Oh hey guys

JACKSON:
Hi

45
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JESSE:
Get on inside
I’ll be right behind you

{SQUAD CAPTAIN and JESSE kiss. SQUAD CAPTAIN giving JENNY a victorious look, skips
offstage.}

JESSE:
Hi Jenny

JENNY:
Hi Jesse

JESSE:
And um
You!
I don’t think we’ve met.
Are you new at Saint Paul’s?

JACKSON:
No um.
We’ve been in school together since third grade.

JESSE:
Oh
OH!
OH MY GOD!
YOU’RE WET DOG!
YOU’RE WET DOG BOY!

JACKSON:
Right.
That’s um
That’s me.

JESSE:
Nice to meet you, Wet Dog.
Jesse.

{JESSE offers his hand. JACKSON takes it.}

JACKSON:
Jackson.

JESSE:
Nice to meet you Jackson.
So…
Are you her White Knight or something?
Her champion?

46
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
What no—
I—
I just—

JENNY:
Actually Jesse
I like hanging out with Wet Dog boy
He doesn’t push me up against a wall and choke me

JESSE:
Touché Jennifer touché
But just know this:

{JESSE leans in real close to JENNY.}

JESSE:
Sooner or later
Today or tomorrow
Every wolf reveals himself.

{He looks at JACKSON.}

JENNY:
Or herself.

JESSE:
Well.
This has been nice.
See you later, Wet Dog.
Pick out a nice dress, Jenny.

{JESSE exits.}

JACKSON:
Jesus.

JENNY:
Yeah.

{Beat.}

JENNY:
Come on.
Let’s get out of here.

{JENNY offers JACKSON her hand. He takes it.}

47
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
Where are we going?

JENNY:
I want to show you something.

JACKSON:
Lead the way, Jennifer.

JACKSON:
Come on, Wet Dog.

{They exit.}

{The stage is empty for some moments. DRUM MAJOR, wearing nothing but his underwear
and his marching band hat, stumbles onto the stage, very drunk.}

DRUM MAJOR:
[half humming/half singing]
‘Let’s *hiccup* cheer St. Pauls
to victory
Yell for the Blue and Gold,
we’ll shout a loud hurray Hurrah
the Wolves are brave and bold
Rah rah rah…’
blah blah blah blah.
I don’t *hiccup* actually know all the words.
Most of the time I just *hiccup* mouth along
while the rest of the band sings it the vicious
pack of Wolves the lot of them. FUCk those guys!
Clarinets DO look like penises! And there’s there’s nothing wrong with that
Nothing wrong at alll.
Im looking for my friend.
Heard he was here.
Jackson.
Yay high.
Smells like a dog. A wet one.
Have you seen him.
I thought not.
"This isn’t his scene.”
*hiccup*
I wish eh was hear.
im all alone in tehre
and it is so so scary
this isn’t my scene either
but i pretend it is because
I don’t know i just pretend it is
He’z *hiccup* my best friend you know that
Jackson he’s a good guy he’s my best friend

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

He’s he’s good with psssst he’s good with secrets

Like my lil secret lol can’t be gay at a catholic high school
nope taht would be bad but Jackson i told him and he swore
he’d never tell nobody thats how goof *hiccup* a buddy he is
course he’s got secrets too big secrets that he keeps to himself
well if you see him tell him that he his best friend is looking for him
Bye bye

{to SQUAD CAPTAIN, offstage}:

Hey!
JAckie!
You’re a bitch!

{As lights fade.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
[from offstage]: The fuck did you just say to me?

{Lights fade.}

{As lights fade.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
[from offstage]: The fuck did you just say to me?

{Lights fade.}

Scene IX: Howl at the Moon

{The Shrine to Artemis. JENNY leads JACKSON by the hand onto the stage. JACKSON’s eyes
are closed.}

JENNY
Keep them closed.

JACKSON
Why are you taking me to the woods?
Are you an axe-murderer?

JENNY
No. Open your eyes.

{JACKSON opens his eyes. A long pause.}

JACKSON
Whoa.

{JENNY laughs.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON
What is this place?

JENNY
She has been called by many names.
Diana.
Selene.
More ancient people
in more ancient times
knew her by more ancient names,
long forgotten. But I just call her—

JACKSON
Artemis.

JENNY
Artemis.

JACKSON
Goddess of the Hunt.

JENNY
And the moon.

JACKSON
Daughter of Zeus.

JENNY
And Leto.

JACKSON
Brother of Apollo.

JENNY
The silver goddess.
{Beat.}

JACKSON
You’re the first…um…pantheist I’ve ever met.

JENNY
Call it what it is.
Pagan.
I’m not ashamed.
My mother is pagan.
My sister.
My…father.
And his father before him.
On and on and on until. I don’t know.

50
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON
Why Artemis?

{JENNY looks at the shrine.}

JENNY
She’s a protector.
And an avenger.
She’s ruthless,
but also kind.
Powerful and merciful.
What more could you ask for?

JACKSON
I don’t understand.

JENNY
Here. Hold my hand.

{JACKSON hesitates.}

JENNY
Take it.

{JACKSON takes JENNY’s hand. JENNY howls loud into the night.}

JENNY
Go on.

{They both howl into the night!}

JACKSON
Oh my god.

JENNY
Or gods.

JACKSON
That…feeling.

JENNY
In your gut.

JACKSON
My bones.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
That’s her.
That’s the Wild.
In you and all around you.
She lives in the Wild places,
out of sight, out of mind, out of town
out of St. Thomas, out of civilization.
She’s—she’s freedom.
She is why it feels
so good to run.

{JACKSON laughs. JENNY starts laughing too.}

JACKSON
Oh…my.
Oh…my gods.

{JACKSON howls again. JENNY laughs in glee.}

JENNY
This is my big secret.
This is why I “don’t fuck.”

JACKSON
A vow—

JENNY
OF chastity. Yes.

JACKSON
Artemis. A virgin goddess.

JENNY
Don’t mansplain my goddess to me.

JACKSON
Shit. Sorry.

JENNY
I’m fucking with you.

JACKSON
Oh.
Why?
Why are you showing me this?

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JENNY
I don’t know.
Because I trust you.
It’s a feeling.
In my gut.
My bones.

JACKSON
Bones.

JENNY
This this
Is who I am Jackson.
I belong to no man.

JACKSON
Like Jesse.

JENNY
Like glorious King Jesse.

{Beat.}

JENNY
I refuse to be anyone other than who I am, Jackson.

{Beat.}

JENNY
The point is: will you help me?

JACKSON
How?

JENNY
I don’t know yet.

{Beat.}

JACKSON
Okay.

{Lights fade.}

53
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Scene X: Howl

{Wolf is on all fours, howling at the moon. He notices us.}

I’m sorry can you just like—

It’s just you’re making me very self-conscious.
Could you like turn around or something.
Okay well what would you if I just decided to sit on the toilet while you sing Taylor Swift in the
shower, WHICH I KNOW YOU DO. Yeah. Same basic principle. This—this is a very personal
and intimate thing that I’m doing so just. Turn around. Go on. TURN AROUND!

{The audience turns around. Wolf continues to howl. He stops. He stands.}

I don’t get a lot of alone time. So when I get it, I appreciate it. Everyone’s got their little habits,
their little hobbies. I howl. It’s what I do, and I’m not ashamed of it. Because, I mean, just look
at that thing.

{Wolf points at the Moon.}

You take one look at that and you want to howl, to sing, to dance, and run naked in the woods
and hunt deer and drink sweet wine and make love and sacrifice to the Old Gods and be at
one with the universe and with the living earth beneath your feet? See I’m just a Wolf, so I can’t
actually do those things.

So I howl.

{Wolf howls.}

{Lights fade.}

Scene XI: Sisters Part. II

{The Rectory. The next morning. The Sisters are spinning thread, as per usual. It’s their thing.
Don’t judge them for it. JAMES enters.}

JAMES
Hello…?

SISTER SUSAN:
James, Son of Johnathon.

SISTER MARY:
To what do we owe

SISTER EUNICE:
The pleasure?

JAMES:
Good morning, Sisters.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SISTER EUNICE:
Do you not have

SISTER MARY:
Spanish class

SISTER SUSAN:
In a mere fifteen minutes?

JAMES:
Um. Yes.
I do.

ALL:
Then how can we help you, son?

JAMES:
I’m uh. How do I put this.
I’m worried

SISTER MARY:
About your friend, of course.

SISTER EUNICE:
Jesse, the Homecoming King.

ALL:
All hail the high King!

JAMES:
Right.
um.
So like.
We had this party last night.

SISTER MARY:
A party?

SISTER SUSAN:
On a school night?

SISTER EUNICE:
Very naughty, Mr. James.

ALL:
We hope there was no drinking.

SISTER SUSAN:
That would be un-Christian.

55
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SISTER MARY:
Un-Christlike.

SISTER EUNICE:
Un-Christlike.

SISTER MARY:
I already said that, you stupid bag.

JAMES:
No of course not
Wouldn’t think of it
No drinking before the big game

ALL:
The Big Game!

SISTER SUSAN:
The Wolves shall meet

SISTER MARY:
The heathen Lions

SISTER MARY:
7:30 kickoff.

ALL:
Go Wolves!

JAMES:
Right. Um. Good!
’Twill be a battle for the ages!

ALL:
So what troubles you, James, Son of Johnathon?
What worries you about your Shield-Brother?

JAMES:
He’s he’s just been different.
Ever since this Jenny came along.

SISTER EUNICE:
Ah yes.

SISTER SUSAN:
Ah yes.

SISTER MARY:
Ah yes.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

ALL:
Jennifer, Swift-Footed Descendant of Atalanta.

JAMES
She’s changing him.
She consumes him.
Rather, he is consumed by her.
By his thoughts of her.
She—she’s ruining him.
Destroying him.

SISTER SUSAN:
Hm. Sounds like

SISTER MARY:
This Jennifer

SISTER EUNICE:
Should be suspended

ALL:
JAMES.

JAMES
No no.
That wouldn’t work.
She’d come back eventually.

SISTER SUSAN
Hm. Perhaps then

SISTER MARY
This Jennifer

SISTER EUNICE
Must be expelled then,

ALL:
JAMES.

JAMES
He’d still see her around town, I’m sure.

{The Sisters do a collective eye-roll.}

SISTER SUSAN
Expelled

57
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SISTER EUNICE
James.

SISTER MARY
If you catch our meaning.

JAMES
No.
She’s done nothing wrong.
Nothing to be expelled for—

ALL
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND, JAMES?

JAMES
I—I don’t know.
Tell me how.

SISTER SUSAN
Would it not

SISTER MARY
Be great

SISTER EUNICE
If she would just

ALL
Disappear forever?

JAMES
I never thought of that.
But—but how?

SISTER SUSAN
That depends

SISTER MARY
How far you

SISTER EUNICE
Are willing to go

ALL
To help your friend, the King.
All hail the High King.

{A dangerous Beat.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JAMES
What would you have me do, Sisters?

SISTER SUSAN
You know what you must do, James, Son of Johnathon.

SISTER MARY
To protect the King

SISTER EUNICE
To save your friend

ALL
This Jenny must die.

{Beat. We think that perhaps James will agree.}

JAMES
What?
No.

SISTER MARY:
Events have been set in motion

SISTER SUSAN:
That were already decided a long long time ago

SISTER EUNICE:
That even we have no control over.

JAMES
There must be another way.

SISTER MARY
The girl is a threat.

SISTER SUSAN
She must be vanquished.

SISTER EUNICE
If not be your hand, then

ALL
By another’s.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JAMES
No.
I will speak to Jesse.
Make him see reason.

{JAMES goes to leave. Before he leaves:}

JAMES
Sisters?

ALL
YES?

JAMES
Jesse told me you cut the thread.
Why?

ALL:
’Tis the will of the Hidden God,
the Inscrutable Divine,
from whom we are shown all things
and from whom we see nothing.’

SISTER EUNICE:
As it was in the beginning

SISTER MARY:
Is now and ever shall be

SISTER SUSAN:
World without end

ALL (sung):
Amen.

{JAMES exits.}

SISTER SUSAN:
What a nice boy.

SISTER EUNICE:
I agree.

SISTER MARY:
Eh.

{Lights fade.}

60
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Scene XII: Crush

{Lunch hour. Outside. JACKSON and DRUM MAJOR sit in their regular spot.}

DRUM MAJOR:
So let me get this straight

JACKSON:
Okay

DRUM MAJOR:
Jenny the Fleet-Footed

JACKSON:
Yeah

DRUM MAJOR:
has enlisted you

JACKSON:
So far correct

DRUM MAJOR:
To be in her cult?

JACKSON:
Right.

DRUM MAJOR:
Jesus Christ.

JACKSON:
It’s um pretty weird

DRUM MAJOR:
Do you not recognize the gravity of your actions?

JACKSON:
I don’t know what you mean.

DRUM MAJOR:
You, my friend, are interfering in the divine hierarchy.
You are helping Jenny resist Jesse.
Vis a vis you are resisting the King.

JACKSON:
He’s not a King
He’s just Jesse

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

DRUM MAJOR:
Have you learned nothing from high school?

JACKSON:
A little bit of Spanish, why?

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh god.
You’ve missed the lesson completely.

JACKSON:
Which is?

DRUM MAJOR:
This place this existence this plane of hell that we call Saint Paul’s
It’s not about learning Spanish
It’s about learning the order of things
Some people are weak and some people are strong
Some people are wolves and some people are their prey
THAT is the lesson you should be learning
THAT is the lesson you are ignoring

JACKSON:
I’m not afraid of a high-school quarterback
He doesn’t even know my name
He doesn’t even notice me

DRUM MAJOR:
HE WILL
If you keep interfering in his business like this—

{JENNY enters. She approaches the pair.}

JACKSON:
Oh shit shit
Here she comes.

{JACKSON makes a misguided attempt to messy his hair.}

DRUM MAJOR:
What
What are you doing?
Stop that this instant

JENNY:
Hi Jackson.
{JENNY gives DRUM MAJOR a calculating look.}

Hi.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
Oh um.
What’s up.
Jenny.

DRUM MAJOR:
Hi.

JENNY:
Are we still on for 3:30?
You know to um.
Study Spanish.

JACKSON:
{his voice breaks}
Um Yes!
Why yes we are!

{JENNY smiles.}

JENNY:
Good.
I’ll um.
See you later then.

{JENNY exits.}

JACKSON:
Yeah I’ll I’ll see YOU later
BYE!

{JACKSON laughs nervously.}

{DRUM MAJOR glances in JENNY’s direction. He looks at JACKSON.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh FUCK.
Oh god
oh me oh my

JACKSON:
What?

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh no no no no no no
This
This is not happening right now

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
You’re scaring me
What? What is it?

DRUM MAJOR:
You like her.

JACKSON:
Who?
Jenny?
JENNY?
No! What? That’s that’s preposterous that’s no pfffft of course not

DRUM MAJOR:
Then why are you like hyperventilating right now

JACKSON:
What? Because I’m
It’s hot out here and

DRUM MAJOR:
This is unbelievable.

JACKSON:
I don’t like her okay!
No I mean she’s great she’s nice
And like she smells good and shit
okay but that does not mean that I have feelings for her.
No. None at all. Not at all.

{A pause.}

I like Jenny.

DRUM MAJOR:
Oh ho ho !
OI MOI!
Yep.
Well. I take back what I said before.

JACKSON:
About what?

DRUM MAJOR:
You’re not just interfering.
You’re fucked.
You need to end this.

64
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
I don’t want to.

DRUM MAJOR:
It doesn’t matter what you want.
And you may not want to believe it,
but what you’re doing? It’s wrong.

JACKSON:
What does that mean?

DRUM MAJOR
This girl shows you one iota of attention and suddenly
you’re a pagan?
You’re lying.
You don’t actually believe all that shit.
Gods goddesses whatever.
You’re lying to her.

JACKSON
That’s not true.
I—I am a pagan now.
I worship Artemis.

DRUM MAJOR
Listen to yourself.

JACKSON
What?

DRUM MAJOR
I’m trying to help you Jackson
and yet you insist on being such a fucking freak.
Beat.
Why can’t you just
fuck
Why can’t you be normal?
Why can’t you just go to Homecoming?
Why can’t you go to football games and be a person and and be normal
there’s nothing wrong with it I swear please Jackson—just FUCK.

JACKSON
Why are you being an asshole?

{Beat.}

65
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

DRUM MAJOR
What happened to us, Jackson?
Beat.
We used to—
We used to be friends.

JACKSON
And then you became the Drum Major.
And a part of the Chorus—
and you bought in to the whole fucking—

DRUM MAJOR
No no I did I did what I had to.
To survive.

JACKSON
You sold out.

DRUM MAJOR
No no YOU, YOU.
This Jenny comes along and
suddenly you’re a Pagan and what I’m—
just another normie for you to look down on?

JACKSON
No I—

DRUM MAJOR
Don’t deny it.
You think you’re better than me.
You and fucking Jenny and your fucking Artemis or whatever.

JACKSON
Don’t.
Don’t talk about her like that.

DRUM MAJOR
Who?
Artemis?
Or Jenny?
Who’s your real god?
Beat.
Jackson, please. Please listen to me.

DRUM MAJOR:
You’re Catholic.
You worship God.
Same as me.
Same as Jesse.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON:
And how’s that worked out for you, Tim?

{Beat.}

DRUM MAJOR:
What?

JACKSON:
The Drum Major out on the football field leading the Marching Band and yet no
one out there knows who you actually are, Timothy. Why is that?

{A pause.}

DRUM MAJOR:
Fuck you.
I’m trying to watch out for you.
God knows nobody else will.

JACKSON:
I don’t need you to.
I’m fine on my own.

DRUM MAJOR:
Right.
A “lone wolf.”
{DRUM MAJOR exits, leaving JACKSON alone onstage.}

Scene XIII: Jackie the Squad Captain

{Same day. After school. The Football Field or something, I don’t know. “Under the Bleachers”
as it were.

JESSE and SQUAD CAPTAIN are kissing. This goes on for a few moments. JESSE stops.}

JESSE:
Well
That was
Enjoyable

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Thanks um
I liked it too

JESSE:
Great.
So.
I’m gonna go—

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Jesse?

JESSE:
Yup?

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Can I ask you something?

JESSE:
…fine?

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Thanks. Um.
So. About Jenny—
I—well—we all
Can’t help but notice
That she has yet to accept
your um. invite. to. well. you know.
Homecoming.

JESSE
Oh. THAT.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Right.

JESSE:
Look. Jacqueline.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Jackie.

JESSE:
You’re a good girl.
Nay, you’re a great girl.
And an outstanding kisser and
you’ve got a great body and
spectacular legs—

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Thank you

JESSE:
And the sex
I mean come on
It’s fucking stupendous

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
You’re too kind.

JESSE:
But this isn’t about sex, Jackie.
When it started out, it was about sex.
This thing with Jenny? It’s so different.
I feel different.
About her.
About it.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Do you
Do you love her?

{JESSE laughs, a wheezing laugh.}

JESSE:
What?
Don’t be silly, Jackie.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
What are you talking about?

JESSE:
Jackie. Come on.
You’re so much smarter than that.
Love is a myth.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Uh-huh.

JESSE:
That’s what the two of us have
in common. We know how things
Work. We understand the order of things.
That God, in his grandiose wisdom, rendered
Power unto people like us that we might rule the
masses and give them something someone an
An ideal to look up to an ideal to strive toward.
But then there are people like Jenny who just
They they—

{JESSE composes himself.}

JESSE:
They mess up the construct.
They take the divine order, the one God
Entrusted us with, and they turn it on its head.

69
 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Why? Who knows. Because some people just want

The world to burn in chaos and heathenry and disorder.
And it’s my job it’s my job as a King to-to um. It’s like she’s a pagan.
And that I am a good Christian. As a good, god-fearing Christian, it’s my job
to tame her, to bring her under the banner of heaven, to—
Beat.
It’s my job to convert Jennifer the Swift-Footed.
It’s my duty, given to me by our God.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
I think, my King
That you are
Misinterpreting
Jenny the Swift-Footed’s
Intentions.

{A pause.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Also you’re wrong.

JESSE
What?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Love. It’s
It’s not a myth.

JESSE
If love is real
Then explain this to me:
Why do I feel this hate
And anger
And rage
And spite
And sadness
All the time?
Why O Jackie do I feel
Nothing when I’ve lain with a woman
But only feel shame and nakedness?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
That’s the Sisters voice in your mind, Jesse,
the Sisters, who teach us that to love
is to desecrate ourselves before the eyes of God.
Is it God’s will to hate?
Or is not God’s will that we love one another?
Would our God teach us to believe in a myth?

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JESSE
But our God is our God
And thy will must be done.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Give me your hand.

JESSE
Why?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Just do it.

{JESSE gives her his hand. She places it on her heart, under her shirt.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Do you feel it?

JESSE
Your heartbeat?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Feel the heat of my breast
The quickening of the blood
That flows through my veins
as it recognizes the hand that rests upon my skin.
Feel that, and tell me that love is a myth.

{JESSE takes his hand away.}

JESSE
I should go.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Jesse.
I love you.
I—I am in love with you.

JESSE:
No, you’re not.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
Why?

JESSE:
Because you
Are incapable
of Love.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What?

JESSE:
You don’t even love yourself.
You despise yourself.

SQUAD CAPTAIN:
That’s not true.

JESSE:
You’re just desperate and lost.
Utterly and hopelessly alone.
And so am I.

{They are both quiet for some moments. JESSE breaks the silence, coughing loudly.}

JESSE
You’re a doll, Jackie.

{JESSE kisses SQUAD CAPTAIN on the cheek.}

JESSE
Gotta go.
Bye.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Jesse?

JESSE
Um. Yeah?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Why her?

JESSE
Maybe I am in love with her.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
No. You’re not.
You’re mixing up love and power.
They’re opposites.

JESSE
Then I think
I’ll choose the latter.
Like, every time.
Good talk. Bye bye.
{Jesse exits. Jackie is alone.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Scene XIV: Jenny and Jackie

{Jenny is tending to the shrine. She does this for some moments.}

JENNY
By the changing of the leaves and
By the breaking of twigs under light feet
By the sunlight that peers through the forest and
By the dew that blankets the grove at dawn
O Lady of the Wild,
I offer this prayer to you.

Your wild places are vanishing O Lady

but not your people.
I’m still here.
And I’ve found another.
He’s an idiot.
But he’s sweet.
And I think you’ll like him.
He’s nothing like my sister but he could have
twigs in his hair someday.
He has much to learn.
Beat.
But, I’ve got to admit
It’s nice to have a friend.
I’m so alone.
I’m sorry. I—I know you know that.
And I am still faithful.
To my vow.
I—

{The SQUAD CAPTAIN enters.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What are you doing out here?

JENNY
What the FUCK.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to scare you.

{Silence.}

JENNY
How did you find me?

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{SQUAD CAPTAIN looks around the grove.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
You come out here everyday.
Same time.
I’ve um.
I’ve been watching you.

JENNY
Why?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What is this place?

{Beat.}

JENNY
I think you should leave.

{Jenny goes back to the shrine.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Wait I—

JENNY
Leave.
SQUAD CAPTAIN
NO.

{Beat.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Who are you?
Please.
Please tell me.

JENNY
Why?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Because I have no idea who I am.
And I—I don’t want to be alone.

JENNY
I can’t help you, Jackie.
Beat.
I’m sorry.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Me too.

{As SQUAD CAPTAIN leaves, a deer appears. SQUAD CAPTAIN gasps. And kinda cries. And
kinda laughs.}

JENNY
Shhhhhh.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Oh my god
Oh my god oh my god

JENNY
Shut. Up.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What is it?

JENNY
A deer, stupid

SQUAD CAPTAIN
I know but just like—
Holy shit.

{How many moments pass, I do not know. SQUAD CAPTAIN approaches the deer.}

JENNY
Slowly.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What?

JENNY
Slowly.
And quietly.
Your crying will scare her.
So stop sobbing.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Sorry.

JENNY
Shhhhhhhhh!

{They both crouch slowly toward the deer.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
I
I don’t know what to say

JENNY
Then don’t say anything

{SQUAD CAPTAIN creeps closer.}

JENNY
What are you doing?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
I want to touch her.

JENNY
You’ll scare her.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
No I won’t.
I’m not scary.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN touches the deer. She takes a deep breath.}

JENNY
What’s her name?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
What?

JENNY
What’s her name?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
I don’t know.
It’s a deer.

JENNY
What do you want her name to be?

{Beat.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Frances.

JENNY
Frances.
Beautiful. I like it.

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{Jenny takes some granola mix out of her bag.}

JENNY
Give me your hand.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Why?

JENNY
Just do it.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN gives Jenny her hand. Jenny pours the trail mix in her hand.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Ew.

JENNY
Good.
Means the berries are ripe.
Beat.
Go on.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN feeds the deer the mix. SQUAD CAPTAIN laughs. JENNY smiles.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Oh my god.

JENNY
Pray with me.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Excuse me?

JENNY
Do you want to know who I am, or not?

{Beat.}

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Okay.

JENNY
Tell Frances what you need.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
This is—

{Beat. SQUAD CAPTAIN looks at the deer. She looks at JENNY.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Take the pain away.

JENNY
Take the pain away, Frances.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Give me good dreams.

JENNY
Give her—give us—good dreams.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Dreams where I’m flying.

{Jenny smiles. They both laugh together.}

JENNY
Flying dreams, Frances.
Beat.
Give her dreams where
she is flying
above the clouds,
above the stars.

{Beat.}

Watch over her, Frances.

Watch over both of us.
Watch over all of us.

{Frances wanders back into the deep of the woods. SQUAD CAPTAIN laughs and gasps and
cries in a most amazed reverie.}

JENNY
Give me your hand.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN does so. JENNY howls.}

JENNY
Go on.

{SQUAD CAPTAIN howls. They both do.}

JENNY
Come with me.

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Where are we going?

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JENNY
I don’t know.
Homecoming?

SQUAD CAPTAIN
Homecoming.

{They embrace. They laugh and hug and love.}

{With a final howl at the evening moon, SQUAD CAPTAIN and JENNY disappear into the
woods.}

Scene XV: Jesse and James

{JESSE and JAMES are at football practice or something. I don!t know. But they!re sweaty. And
hormonal. It!s all very erotic. They are stretching. They do this for some moments.}

JAMES
So.

JESSE
So.

JAMES
How!s the cross country runner.

JESSE
Mind your business James.

JAMES
Sorry.

JESSE
No.
I!m sorry.
That was rude.

JAMES
There is nothing to forgive.
Is everything alright, Shield-Brother?
You seem on edge.

JESSE
Jenny the fucking Swift-Footed.

{Beat.}

JAMES
Permission to speak freely, my King?

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JESSE
You don’t need to ask that, James.

JAMES
Why the fuck do you care?

{Beat.}

JESSE
Excuse me?

JAMES
You are a King, Jesse.
Whom you attend this foolish dance with—

JESSE
Don’t be naive, James.

JAMES
Jesse, listen to me.

JESSE
That’s King Jesse, to you, Shield-Brother.

JAMES
Remember all of our battles together?
The seasons, the wars?
You’re my best friend.
Since seventh grade, when you saved me
from being thrown off that cliff by Coach Larry—
{Beat.}
You’re a good person.
People care about you.
I…care about you.
And seeing you like this it’s it’s

JESSE
You think I’m crazy don’t you?

JAMES
No.
I think you’re under way too much stress.

JESSE
Why…?
I have all I need.
I’m a King.

JAMES
A Homecoming King.
And you’re throwing it all away over some insignificant—

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JESSE
Oh.
I see.
You’re jealous.

JAMES
No!

JESSE
James, my number two,
always in the Shadow of the King.
That’s what this is about, isn’t it.

{A long pause.}

JAMES
No, you are my friend.
And my King.
And I care for you.

JESSE
Really?
Because I feel like more than that.
I feel—I feel like.
A savior.

JAMES
That’s the sisters.
That’s this place.
In your head.

JESSE
So you think I’m crazy.

JAMES
Jesse. Shield-Brother.
For the love of God.
Let this go.

{Beat.}

JESSE
No can do.
Shield-Brother.

JAMES
Then my friend is truly lost.

{JAMES gets up to exit.}

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JAMES
Remember we’ve got a game to win.
Stay focused.
King.

{JAMES exits, leaving JESSE quite alone.}

Scene XVI: Jenny’s Run

{JENNY is on a run. The MARCHING BAND and the CHEERLEADERS are onstage, in a choral
arrangement. JENNY’s route should take her through laps of the house, as though the aisles are
the trails she runs. She should continue to run until her soliloquy is complete.}

JENNY:
I’ve been running since I was five years old. I’m fast. I’m really fast. Like championship winning
fast, like faster than anybody in this room. I run because it makes me feel alive. It makes me
feel like something other—like an animal lithe and primal hunting through the woods a silver
moon shining above me and by the time I finish my run by the time I finish the ten miles by the
time I’ve crested and felt the rush of endorphins course through my blood and body and I feel
like I’m immortal by the time that Olympian ecstasy has worn off I realize that I’m moving just
as fast as everyone else. I can’t outrun anyone. I can’t run away from the eyes and the hands
and the smiles and the Wolves. And so I hide. And then I go for another run. And another.
Because every minute I spend running is a minute I’m not walking and every minute I’m not
walking is a minute I’m not standing still and when I’m standing still is when I’m most afraid.
And I close my eyes and I tell myself it will all be over soon but I’m too smart to believe my own
lies and I close my eyes and all I see are a thousand calloused hands reaching for that little girl
and so I run. I run faster, further. I run until my feet bleed. I’ve been running my whole life.
But not anymore.
Not tonight.
Tonight I’m going to stand very still.
And I’m going to tell the Wolf no.

{JENNY stops when she reaches JACKSON, who has not moved from where we last saw him.
She checks her pulse, looks at her watch, and begins to stretch.}

JENNY:
Hey Wet Dog.

JACKSON:
Hey.

JENNY:
So. Shall we go to the woods and—

JACKSON:
Jenny I
I can’t do this anymore

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JENNY:
What are you talking about?

JACKSON:
I can’t be in your fucking cult or whatever

JENNY:
Why not?
Tell me.

{A pause.}

JACKSON:
I’m scared of Jesse.

JENNY:
No no no
Jackson look
You don’t have to be scared of him
I’m not scared anymore he’s just a shallow little shit

JACKSON:
I’m sorry, Jenny I
I’m so sorry.

JENNY:
Jackson, please
I have no one else
You helped me feel brave

JACKSON:
You found the wrong person.
I’m a coward.

JENNY:
Don’t do this, Jackson.

JACKSON:
I’m sorry.
Goodbye, Jenny.

{JACKSON exits. JENNY is alone. Lights fade to black.}

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SCENE XVII: Jackson and the Wolf

{Midnight. JACKSON is alone on the stage, kneeling in a pool of light. He appears to be

praying. To which gods? To which God? Who knows. But he is definitely praying. After a few
minutes of this the Wolf enters and watches for a few moments. He howls. JACKSON looks
up.}

JACKSON:
Oh.
It’s you.

WOLF:
Yeah.
It’s me.

JACKSON:
Why are you here?

WOLF:
You know
What’s going to happen.

JACKSON:
I think so.

WOLF:
Then you know what
you have to do.
What we have
to do.

JACKSON:
I can try.

WOLF:
Do or do not.
There is no try.
(To the audience):
Please don’t sue me.

{Lights fade.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Scene XVIII: Edge of Battle

{JESSE is alone in a spotlight onstage. He is kneeling.}

Dear Lord God,

I am your faithful servant. Every battle I wage, I wage in your Name. When I gear up for a game,
I write John 3:16 on my face, as though that will fucking help. But they say that all who struggle
in your name shall be victorious. That’s what Coach says. That’s what the Sisters say. That’s
what my parents say, who forced me into football when I wasn’t even old enough to play,
because dad played and his dad played and his dad before him died in WWII. I wanted to stay
home. I wanted to play with my legos. I wanted to draw, I wanted to read, I wanted things I
wanted other things for my life. This isn’t what I wanted. And you knew that. And you did
nothing. Nothing when dad drank too much and hit my mom. Nothing when we stole away in
the night. You did nothing when we lived in a trailer park for three years and then you did
nothing when we couldn’t pay the bills and nothing when we couldn’t get my baby sister to go
to sleep and still nothing when she died. And still I prayed to you, each night before bed, just
like Mom told me to. But when I would woke up, I fought.

{The Sisters are watching JESSE from upstage.}

I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a King. I never wanted to be a Savior. But I did
it, I did all of it, for You. So yeah, I guess I feel like I’m entitled to some things. A girl in
particular. But that’s not why I’m calling on you today.

Today is Game Day.

This is MY day. You have Sundays. I have Fridays. My holy day.

I won’t ask for Your blessing because I know I won’t get any from You.
I won’t ask You for grace because grace doesn’t win games.
I don’t want Your forgiveness, because I haven’t forgiven You yet.
Give me Your wrath, God.
Give me Your righteous fury.
Give me Your fiery sword.
Give me Jenny the Swift-Footed.

{The Sisters approach and lay their hands on JESSE, who does not seem to notice.}

“I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Amen.

{The Sisters recede into the darkness. JESSE breathes for a few moments. He takes a little pill
bottle out of his pocket. He pops three pills.}

Let’s fucking rumble.

{The stage erupts into a Blue and Gold cacophony. MARCHING BAND and CHEERLEADERS
enter, doing their various…things. The Wolf, sweating his ass off, runs through the audience,
hyping them up.}

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CHEERLEADERS:
Tonight is the night;
the Homecoming Game approaches,
we lust for the blood of our enemies and for victory over the pagans!
Sound the drums!
Sound the bugle!
Sound the clarinets!
Play a song of battle!
Tonight the Wolves go to war!

MARCHING BAND:
Tonight is the night;
the Homecoming Game approaches,
and the night is ripe and humid with the hormonal fervor of battle!
Dance O Cheerleaders! Dance with battle lust!
Dance with ecstasy for the music of war!
Do the flips and the splits and all the stuff we are not athletic enough to do!
For tonight the Wolves go to War!

CHEERLEADERS:
We looked up what ecstasy means;
and while we still lack any MDMA,
We are more than happy to dance ecstatically
Because most of us are actually on drugs right now anyway!

MARCHING BAND:
Us too!

{JESSE silences the CHORUS.}

JESSE:
My friends! Here we all are, on the edge of battle!

MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
Huzzah!

JESSE:
Tonight, our enemy has come to our own threshold, puts its heathen paws upon our very
gates! These so-called Lions of Covington High, a public school, mind you, they are here for a
very simple purpose. To lay low our cities and pillage our lands!

MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
NO! STOP THEM! BEAT THEM! KILL THEM!

JESSE:
All in good time, friends. All in good time. They have come to this field asking for war; War and
bloodlet disaster is what they shall receive!

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MARCHING BAND/CHEERLEADERS:
SLAUGHTER!
LET THE GREEN TURF RUN RED WITH THEIR INNARDS!

JESSE:
Okay that’s a bit much.
But yes, we will beat them.
And yes, it will be a slaughter;
Not only a slaughter, but a glorious slaughter at that.
But my friends, I fear I may go into this battle laden with a heavy heart. My feet will drag on the
field and my arm will not throw fucking missiles like I usually do. For tonight, my friends,
something weighs upon my heart, there is something I must do before I am ready, truly
focused, mind, body, dick, and soul, on the battle at hand. There is something I must ask, to a
truly special young lady in this sweaty gymnasium this evening.

Jenny the Fleet-Footed.

{A spotlight appears on JENNY, sitting in the front row of the audience. She stands, mortified.}

Will you go to Homecoming with me?

{JENNY says something, but we cannot hear her.}

Wolf, bring her a microphone.

Idiot.

{The Wolf brings her a microphone. JENNY takes the microphone. She ascends the stage. She
looks JESSE right in the eye. But before she can say anything:}

WOLF
Jenny!
Wait!

{The Wolf removes his Wolf head revealing none other than Jackson fucking Yates, decked out
in a Wolf mascot costume.}

JACKSON
Wait.

JENNY
Jackson.
What.
Are. You. Doing.

JESSE
Oh.
Wet Dog.
Jenny’s White Knight returns.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

JACKSON
Jenny.
Please don’t do this.
Beat.
I love you.

CHORUS
What?

JESSE
What?

JENNY
what?

JACKSON
(to JESSE) And you.
Beat.
Leave her alone.

JENNY
Jackson.
Don’t.

JESSE
No wait.
I want to hear what this Savior has to say.
Beat.
Go on, Jackson. Tell us.
Tell us how much you love Jenny.
How you deserve her more than I do.

JENNY
Stop.

JACKSON
You don’t love her.
I do.

JENNY
Jackson please don’t do this.

JACKSON
It’s okay, Jenny.
Everything will be okay.

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JENNY
No. You’re not listening to me.
None of you are listening to me
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME—
JESSE
Okay.
I’ve had enough.

{JESSE stabs JACKSON. JACKSON falls to the ground. JESSE’s sword clatters beside him.}

JENNY
NO.

{JENNY takes JACKSON in her arms.}

JACKSON
You have nice eyes.

{JACKSON is gone.}

{JESSE looks at the CHORUS.}

JESSE
So much for the Wolf in the House of the King.

JENNY (Quietly)
He wasn’t.

JESSE
Excuse me—?

JENNY
I AM.

{With a primal animal roar, JENNY stabs JESSE through the throat.}

{Chaos ensues. Homecoming is ruined. The CHORUS screams and scatters. JAMES takes
JESSE in his arms. The SQUAD CAPTAIN rushes to his side.}

JAMES
(to JENNY) What—what have you done?

{JENNY runs into the audience and back into the woods.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

Final Scene: The Grove Again

{Jenny at the Shrine. She is praying desperately, crying, to Artemis, but her prayers go
unanswered.

High-school Homecoming music can be heard in the distance.

After a few moments, Jackie the Squad-Captain approaches, cautiously, from upstage.

She is in a homecoming dress.}

JACKIE
I thought I might find you here.

{Jenny turns.}

JENNY
Is Homecoming really still happening?

JACKIE
Of course it is.
It’s a ritual.

JENNY
Of course.

JACKIE
What are you still doing here?

JENNY
Waiting for James to come and kill me.
Waiting for—
Gods.
Jackson.

{Jenny weeps. Jackie embraces her.}

JENNY
You’re shivering.
Beat.
Here.

{Jenny gives Jackie her coat. Jackie puts it on.}

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{Beat.}

JACKIE
Dance with me.

JENNY
What?

JACKIE
This is our only chance.

{They dance to the sound of far-off homecoming music in the middle of the wild. This lasts for
what seems like an eternity.}

JACKIE
You have to run.

JENNY
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to run anymore.

JACKIE
I know you don’t.
But you must.

JENNY
I have a vow—

JACKIE
And now it’s my vow too.
You’re free. Go.

{Jenny and Jackie hold each other for a few more moments.}

JACKIE
Run.
And don’t look back.
Beat.
I love you,
Jenny.

JENNY
I love you,
Jackie the Squad Captain.

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 DRAFT 12 (11-15-22)

{They don’t want to let each other go, but they do because they must.}

{With a final glance at the shrine and at Jackie, Jenny takes a breath.}

{She steps into the Wild, and is gone.}

JACKIE
Good-bye, Jenny the Swift-Footed.

{Jackie kneels at the Shrine and begins to pray.}

END OF PLAY.

91