Wishful Thinking

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/22736884.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Relationship: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Character: Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi
Additional Tags: Black Jackals, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Porn with a touch of
plot, consensual voyeurism, Clothed Sex
Series: Part 1 of Different Kinds of Dysfunctional
Stats: Published: 2020-02-15 Words: 5936

Wishful Thinking
by DeathBelle

Summary

Atsumu said into the heavy silence, “You can’t say you’ve never thought about it.”

"Thought about what?" said Sakusa.

Atsumu smiled to himself, smug. "You know."

"No, I don't."

"You know. Of course you’ve thought about it. There’s no reason to be ashamed, Omi-kun.
I’m a real catch.”

Sakusa was appalled. "You're disgusting."

"You flatter me. I'm not judging you. I can't lie and say I haven't thought about it, too."

Sakusa shifted, slowly, to peer over his shoulder. He wasn’t scowling, but his expression
was unreadable. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Atsumu wasn't joking, and he was about to get more than he bargained for.

Atsumu didn’t understand why no one wanted to share a hotel room with him.

Okay, that wasn’t completely true. He did know, but he liked to pretend he didn’t. The other guys
thought he was annoying at times, a little too much to handle off of the court and far too full of
himself. They were also highly intimidated by his good looks and charming personality.

Well, they always denied that last one, but Atsumu knew better.
Every time the team traveled for a game, everyone picked their hotel roommates in advance. They
acted casual about it, but Atsumu knew it was calculated. They were avoiding Atsumu, but he
wasn’t the only one who got left out.

“Well, Omi-kun.” Atsumu grinned as he stepped close. “Looks like we’re sharing a room again.
Lucky you.”

Sakusa immediately sidestepped away from him.

No one wanted to share a room with Sakusa either, but not for the same reasons. He didn’t have a
hurricane personality like Atsumu. Sakusa was calm, quiet, and mostly kept to himself.
Objectively, he would have made a great roommate.

Except he was so finicky about literally everything that it was almost unbearable.

“Stay on your side,” said Sakusa, moving past him to enter the room. “Don’t touch my stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Atsumu, following him inside. He tossed his bag onto the foot of the nearest
bed, the one Sakusa hadn’t claimed. There was no point arguing over which one he slept in. Sakusa
always took the one by the windows, and it was not up for debate. “You say that like we’ve never
done this before. This happens so much that we might as well move in together when we get back
home.”

Sakusa gave him a look that would have been completely flat if not for the tiny spark of annoyance.
“I would rather die.”

Atsumu collapsed onto his bed and let his head dangle off the side, grinning at Sakusa upside-
down. “So melodramatic, Omi-kun. You keep talking like that and I’ll start thinking you don’t like
me or something.”

Sakusa’s stare didn’t change as he slipped off his face mask and discarded it. “That would be a
shame.”

Atsumu pillowed his arms behind his head. “Right?”

“I’m showering first.” Sakusa methodically unpacked his bag and plucked out his shower supplies.
Atsumu never brought any; he just used whatever the hotel provided.

“Are you?” asked Atsumu, feigning surprise. “Who would’ve thought.”

Sakusa glared at him as he passed by, the same glare that Atsumu had been met with when he’d
plopped down right beside Sakusa on the bus three hours ago.

Something about annoying Sakusa was just so satisfying.

The evening progressed as usual. Atsumu watched tv for a while, until Sakusa emerged from the
bathroom with a whirl of steam and snapped at him to turn the volume down. Atsumu took his own
shower, and was only out for two minutes before Sakusa ordered him to go back in and wipe down
the shower tiles. Atsumu propped himself up on a heap of pillows with his cellphone, sprawled out
in only his underwear, while Sakusa burrowed beneath his covers and turned his back to Atsumu,
settling in to sleep.

“It’s only nine-thirty, Omi-kun,” said Atsumu, at a particularly loud volume. “Live a little.”

“We have to be at the stadium at six-fifteen.” Sakusa’s voice was a little muffled. “Go to sleep.”
“I’m not ready yet. I have the sleeping habits of a normal, healthy young man. Not a grandpa.”

“Then turn the lights out and shut up.”

“You should’ve turned them out before you got in bed.”

“Just do it.”

Atsumu gave in with a loud, dramatic sigh. He leaned over to cut off the lamp and sank back into
his nest of pillows, his phone screen the only light in the room. Sakusa had already pulled the
blackout curtains over the windows. He liked complete darkness.

“You think we’re gonna win tomorrow?” said Atsumu, still scrolling through his phone.

“Obviously.”

“You’re right. We have the best setter in Japan. We couldn’t possibly lose.”

He waited for Sakusa to snap something back at him, but he was silent.

Atsumu would just have to try harder.

“Our wing spikers are okay too, I guess,” said Atsumu. “Above average, at least. Could be better.”

Sakusa said nothing.

Atsumu frowned over at him, disappointed. Usually Sakusa took that bait.

He decided to try a different approach.

“Hey, Omi-kun.” He stretched out a leg, and it was just long enough that he could kick the edge of
Sakusa’s mattress. “Look at this thing Shouyou just posted. You’ll love it.”

Sakusa yanked his covers up even higher. If he wasn’t careful, he would suffocate himself. “Leave
me alone. I’m sleeping.”

“That’s weird. Usually people don’t talk when they sleep.”

“Shut up.”

Atsumu gave a long, contrived sigh. “I’ll just show you, then. Move over and make room for me.”

That got Sakusa’s attention. He pushed himself half-upright, giving Atsumu a narrow-eyed stare
over his shoulder. “Don’t you dare.”

“C’mon, Omi-kun.” Atsumu grinned at him, his face lit by the glow of his phone. “These beds are
pretty roomy. I’d fit.”

“I would rather sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be that way. We’re friends, right? It’s okay for friends to cuddle.”

“We’re teammates.”

“Teammates who are also friends.”

Sakusa’s scowl suggested he disagreed.

Atsumu shrugged. “It was just an idea. I feel like we’re at that level in our friendship. We could
share lots of things. Beds, clothes, showers… Actually, that’s a great idea. We should shower
together and save water. It’s good for the whales.”

Sakusa scowl went deeper. “What is wrong with you?”

“Sorry, I didn’t know you hate whales.”

Sakusa flipped his pillow over with a huff and laid down again, whipping the sheets up to his chin,
his back to Atsumu.

Atsumu waited a minute, then two. He said into the heavy silence, “You can’t say you’ve never
thought about it.”

Sakusa didn’t answer, for long enough that Atsumu thought he wouldn’t at all.

But finally his voice bled into the room. “Thought about what?”

Atsumu smiled to himself, smug. He gestured with one hand, although Sakusa wasn’t looking at
him, and said, “You know.”

“No, I don’t.”

Atsumu smiled more widely. “You know. Of course you’ve thought about it. There’s no reason to
be ashamed, Omi-kun. I’m a real catch.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You flatter me. It’s okay to have fantasies. I’m not judging you. I can’t lie and say I haven’t
thought about it, too.”

Sakusa shifted, slowly, to peer over his shoulder again. He wasn’t wearing a scowl, but his
expression was unreadable. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Atsumu hitched his grin higher. “Do I look like I’m joking? We all know I’m practically flawless,
but you’re not so bad yourself, Omi-kun.”

Sakusa’s stare lingered, his expression wiped clean, before he settled back into bed, again turning
away from Atsumu.

Atsumu wondered if Sakusa always slept on his side like that or if it was only when they shared a
room, so he could ignore Atsumu better.

Probably the latter.

After another half hour of mindless scrolling, Atsumu finally tossed his phone onto the nightstand,
slipped his bare legs beneath the sheets, and stretched out on his back. He folded one arm behind
his head, under the pillow, and stared up at the black ceiling.

He wasn’t tired.

“Hey, Omi-kun?” The whisper was low, almost swallowed by the hum of the heating unit.

Atsumu waited. Nothing happened.

He tried a little louder. “Omi-kun?”

Nothing.

Louder.

“Omi-kun? Omi-kuuuuuun…”

“What?”

Atsumu tilted his head to the side and looked in Sakusa’s general direction, although he could see
nothing. “Are you asleep?”

“I was before you started yelling at me.”

Atsumu didn’t believe that. Sakusa’s voice was too crisp, too present. He hadn’t been asleep.

“I’m not tired yet,” said Atsumu. “Want to trade bedtime stories? I know some really scary ones.”

“Your existence is the scariest thing I can imagine. Goodnight.”

Atsumu laughed under his breath and settled back again, this time for good. He liked getting a
reaction out of Sakusa, but even he knew when to stop, despite what his teammates may think.

He did, however, reach for his phone again and send Sakusa a string of annoying messages, just so
he would have something fun to wake up to in the morning.

The match went well; almost too well. The Jackals were a cohesive team, moving together like
they were telepathically linked, one connected being instead of six individual ones. Atsumu was at
the center of that being, and he was thriving.

Most of them went out to celebrate afterward, roaming the downtown streets in search of a decent
bar, joking and laughing so loudly that people stared. Atsumu didn’t mind; in fact, he quite liked
the attention. He slung an arm around Bokuto’s neck and laughed a little louder.

Atsumu’s teammates didn’t want to share a room with him, but they didn’t mind having a drink
with him.

They stayed out for a couple of hours. Atsumu would have barhopped all night, but Bokuto was
the only one who could match his energy. The rest of them started to drag, and Atsumu finally
gave in and agreed to return to the hotel.

The walk back was pleasant. The weather was nice, and there was a happy sort of buzz in
Atsumu’s blood. His feet barely touched the ground. He was floating more than walking, and he
couldn’t stop grinning.

After a round of goodnights, he found himself at his room, and clumsily swiped the card to unlock
the door. The lamp was on inside, and Sakusa glanced away from the book propped against his
knees to look at him.

Atsumu’s grin pulled even wider. “Omi-kun! Figured you’d be sleepin’ by now.”

Sakusa eyed him, but said nothing.

Atsumu fumbled off his shoes and shed his jacket. He tried to hang it by the door, but failed. It
puddled in the floor, and he didn’t bother picking it up. “You missed out. We had a good time. Lots
of cool places here.”

Sakusa glanced back down at his book.

Of course he hadn’t joined them, despite the team’s constant nagging. Sakusa didn’t like crowds,
and most of the time, Atsumu thought Sakusa didn’t like any of his teammates, either. It was
anyone’s guess whether Sakusa liked alcohol or not. Atsumu had never seen him drink. He’d never
seen him do much of anything, aside from spike a volleyball and constantly scowl at him.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” said Atsumu, yanking his shirt off as he started toward the bathroom.
“Don’t worry, I’ll wipe it down when I’m finished. I’m a great roommate. You’re lucky to have
me.”

There was no response, but Atsumu hadn’t expected one. He stripped off the rest of his clothes,
waited for the water to heat up, and stepped into the steam of the shower. He was tired and a little
tipsy, so he leaned against the tile wall. He didn’t wash himself so much as stand under the hot
water, but he thought that was good enough. He’d showered right after the match anyway.

When he got out he wiped down the shower walls, as promised, and nearly slipped on his way to
brush his teeth. He caught himself against the sink, laughed under his breath, and grabbed for his
toothbrush. He was scrubbing his incisors when he realized he could see himself in the mirror,
which was odd, considering it should have been steamed over from the shower. He stared at
himself, toothbrush poking out of his mouth, his hair a wet mess, and turned his head to the side.
The bathroom door was standing open. He must have forgotten to shut it behind him. Beyond it,
Sakusa was sitting on the edge of Atsumu’s bed, watching him with a distinct frown.

Atsumu stared back, unmoving. It was like getting cornered by a predator. One wrong move and he
was dead.

Slowly, Atsumu bent to spit in the sink. He rinsed the toothpaste out of his mouth between frequent
side glances toward the door. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, prompting a subtle eye
twitch from Sakusa, and carefully approached. He paused in the threshold, pushing a hand against
the door frame to keep himself balanced.

“What’s up, Omi-kun?” he said. He was suddenly very aware that he was wearing nothing more
than a towel, and while he would have typically flaunted himself in such a state of undress to get a
reaction, the way Sakusa was looking at him only made him self-conscious. “You need the
bathroom?”

“No.”

Atsumu waited for a follow up, for something, but Sakusa didn’t say anything else.

“Okay…” Atsumu stepped out of the bathroom slowly, edging toward his bag. It had been on the
foot of the bed, but now it was in the floor. “Did you want to trade places? I thought you liked the
window side.”
“Miya.”

Atsumu went still, one hand holding his towel in place, the other halfway extended toward his bag.
He straightened and turned to face Sakusa, a prickle of nerves erupting beneath the lingering buzz
of alcohol.

All of his other teammates called him by his given name. Most people did, to avoid the confusion
that came with having a twin brother. Sakusa never had.

“Yeah?” said Atsumu.

“I thought about it.”

Atsumu stared at him, blank. Maybe the alcohol had done something to his brain, or maybe Sakusa
really wasn’t making any sense. “Thought about what?”

Sakusa’s eyes got sharper. “You know.”

Atsumu didn’t. He opened his mouth to say so, and suddenly remembered their conversation from
the night before. All at once he realized what Sakusa meant, and it hit him in a nervous rush that
made his head spin. “…oh.”

“Were you just trying to annoy me,” said Sakusa, his voice as even as ever, “or were you serious?”

“Uh. Both, I guess? Definitely both.”

Sakusa’s stare was like a physical weight, pressing onto Atsumu’s shoulders, making him feel
smaller.

“Should I have invited you into the shower?” said Atsumu, gesturing vaguely toward the bathroom.
“I don’t really think you hate whales. I was joking about that. No one could hate whales. But I
wasn’t joking when I said you’re not bad, because you’re not. You know that, though. You’ve seen
yourself. I wasn’t trying to make it weird, though. I don’t want you to think I’ve been sitting
around, like, thinking about you like that or anything. I’m not creepy. I was just-”

“Shut up.”

Atsumu closed his mouth, relieved that Sakusa had stopped him. He may have rambled on
indefinitely.

“How drunk are you?” asked Sakusa.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Atsumu immediately. “I haven’t had a drink all
night.”

Sakusa’s stare was flat.

“Okay, like a three, if we’re using a ten-point scale.” Atsumu pushed his hair back. It was still wet.

“Sit down.”

Atsumu plopped onto the bed. He couldn’t look away from Sakusa. He had an idea where this was
going, but he must have been wrong. Sakusa hated him. There was no way-

“Do you want to do this?” asked Sakusa.

“Do what, exactly?”

Sakusa said nothing.

“I, uh… yeah. Yeah, if you… yeah.”

Sakusa stood. He was tall in general, but when he was standing above Atsumu like that, he seemed
even taller. “That wasn’t convincing, coming from someone who’s always so sure of himself.”

Atsumu tried to stand up, tumbled back down, and tried again. He kept a step of space between
himself and Sakusa, out of habit. “That’s not it. I just… I thought you hated me.”

“I do.”

Atsumu’s bottom lip poked out. “C’mon, Omi-kun.”

“Do you want to or not?”

“Yes,” said Atsumu. He said it with more conviction this time. “Yes, I want to.”

Sakusa studied him. There was something almost detached about it. “If we’re doing it, we’re doing
it my way.”

“Sure,” said Atsumu. “Your way. Got it.”

Sakusa’s eyes lingered, and Atsumu felt as if that stare was searing straight through him. Finally
Sakusa moved, taking a small step back and dipping a hand into the pocket of his sweatpants. He
tossed something at Atsumu, who caught it automatically.

It was lube, and a surprised jolt twisted in Atsumu’s gut.

“Get yourself ready,” said Sakusa. He put both hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall.

Atsumu looked from Sakusa down to the lube and back up again. “What?”

“Well I’m certainly not doing it.”

It took Atsumu a second too long to process that. “Oh. I thought… When I imagined this, I thought
you would be… nevermind.”

“So you have been sitting around thinking about it,” said Sakusa. “Good to know.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes and tried to regain some of his dignity. “It’s a compliment, Omi-kun. It’s
not like I jerk off to the rest of our teammates. You’re special.”

Sakusa’s nose scrunched. “You didn’t have to tell me that.”

“Why?” Atsumu grinned, and although he still felt a little off-balance in this situation, he began
pulling himself together. “You embarrassed? I thought you’d be flattered. Obviously you’re a little
bit into it or we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Sakusa looked unimpressed.

Atsumu plopped down on the bed and leaned back on his elbows, grinning up at Sakusa. “I mean,
you were staying awake for this, right? You’re never up this late. You were waiting on me. You
wanted a piece of this.” He gestured at himself, stretched out in a sweep of lean muscle, modesty
barely preserved by the towel.

“The more you talk,” said Sakusa, “the more quickly I’m changing my mind.”

“No, you’re not. You’re into me. Admit it.”

Sakusa seemed as if he was more apt to murder Atsumu than to fuck him.

“Fine, keep your true feelings buried away.” Atsumu shrugged. “You’ll have to face them
someday.”

“Alright. I’ve changed my mind. I’m not interested anymore.” Sakusa pushed away from the wall,
but Atsumu waved him back.

“Okay, okay!” said Atsumu. “I’m done, I’ll stop.”

Sakusa folded his arms and propped himself against the wall again. “Get on with it, then.”

“Sure.” Atsumu flicked the cap of the lube open, then shut, then open again. “Are you, uh… just
gonna stand there and watch me?”

“Yes.”

“…oh.”

“Are you shy?” said Sakusa. His face didn’t change, and his voice was inflectionless, but still
Atsumu sensed a touch of smugness beneath the question.

“Of course not.” Atsumu doled out some lube on his hand and spread it over his fingers. He
ignored the anxious knot in his stomach. “Watch as much as you want. Doesn’t bother me.”

Atsumu spread his legs and reached behind himself, around the back of his thigh and past the
rough weave of the towel. At that angle Sakusa could probably see everything, but there was no
way to know for sure. His face didn’t change. His composure was infuriating. Atsumu took a
breath, tried to relax, and worked a finger inside himself. He expected Sakusa to glance away, to
give him a semblance of privacy, but his stare was unwavering. Something about it brought a flush
to Atsumu’s face, a flutter to his gut.

Atsumu had always imagined, on the occasions he allowed himself, that this would go differently.
He’d never expected it at all, not really, but when he let himself pretend, it was Sakusa who was
laid out like this, opening around Atsumu’s fingers.

This wasn’t what Atsumu had in mind, but he would take what he could get.

Atsumu fit in another finger, the lube squelching as he pushed inside. Sakusa was laser-focused, his
gaze scalding. Atsumu let his head fall back and closed his eyes, to try and shed the weight of it.
Still he felt it, just as heavy as before.

The knot of the towel slipped, then gave completely. It fell open, exposing him even more. Atsumu
reached for it, but Sakusa said, “Leave it.”

Atsumu raised his head. Sakusa hadn’t moved, but he was still watching.

Atsumu felt like he was on display, like he existed only for Sakusa’s viewing pleasure.

He kind of liked it. He’d always enjoyed attention.

He spread his legs a little wider, arched his back as he pushed deeper into himself. He was getting
warm, a slow flush that started on his face and crept down to his chest. He was hard, harder than he
should have been considering Sakusa hadn’t even touched him.

There was a low rustle past the wet sounds of Atsumu’s probing fingers. He opened his eyes to find
Sakusa moving closer, stopping by the edge of the bed, close enough that he could have reached
out and touched Atsumu’s heavy cock. Atsumu wanted him to, but he didn’t. He didn’t do anything
except tilt his head and glance down at Atsumu’s rocking hips.

“Like what you see?” said Atsumu, bordering on breathless. He grinned, a little eager, a little
nervous.

“Are you ready?” asked Sakusa.

Atsumu pushed his fingers in again, spread them for a better stretch. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

“Remember what I said.” Sakusa palmed himself through the front of his sweatpants. Atsumu’s
eyes snapped down to watch. “We’re doing this my way, or I’m stopping.”

Atsumu nodded. “Right.”

“Back up,” said Sakusa. “Make room for me.”

Atsumu scrambled to do as he was told. He slipped his fingers out of himself and crawled
backward on the bed, until his head was level with the pillows and his legs were spread in
invitation. Sakusa put one knee on the edge of the bed, eyeing Atsumu closely, as if trying to
decide if he was actually going to do this. Atsumu grinned up at him and stroked himself, slowly,
trying to be as appealing as possible.

“This would be easier if I couldn’t see your face,” said Sakusa flatly. “Maybe we should turn out
the lights.”

Atsumu huffed. “Now you’re just being mean on purpose. I’m stunning. You know I am.”

“Not the word I would use.” Still, Sakusa eased his other knee onto the bed and crawled closer,
stopping between Atsumu’s wide knees. He touched himself through his pants again, and Atsumu
leaned forward to do it for him, but Sakusa said quietly, “Don’t.”

Atsumu fell back, propped on his elbows, waiting.

Sakusa dipped his thumbs into the band of his sweatpants and pulled them down, so slowly that
Atsumu held his breath. When Sakusa’s cock finally bounced free, it was hard, and Atsumu was
quietly pleased. Sakusa could say whatever he wanted, but obviously he was attracted to Atsumu.
There was no denying it.

Sakusa fished a condom out of his pocket and rolled it on. His t-shirt fell just long enough to brush
at the base of his cock, but he made no move to take it off. “If you want more lube, you’ll have to
put it on. I’m not touching it.”

“Why?” said Atsumu, although he was already reaching for it. “Too good to do it yourself?”

Sakusa looked down at him. His mouth was tilted into an almost-frown. “I don’t like the texture.”

Atsumu squeezed some lube into his palm. “You’re a weird guy, you know that?”
Sakusa didn’t say anything.

Atsumu sat up and reached for him, but hesitated. “Is it cool if I…?”

Sakusa considered for a few seconds before nodding.

Atsumu took a breath to steady himself. He moved slowly, in case Sakusa changed his mind,
because he didn’t really believe that Sakusa was allowing this to happen. Atsumu touched the side
of Sakusa’s cock, just a bare drag of fingertips, and it twitched under his hand. Atsumu curled his
fingers around it, stroked a few times to spread the lube, appreciated how hot and heavy it was
when he gripped it.

“That’s enough.”

Atsumu let go, flicking his eyes upward. Sakusa’s face was the same as ever, but there was the
slightest hint of color across his cheekbones. If his skin wasn’t so pale, Atsumu wouldn’t have
noticed.

“Lay back,” said Sakusa. “Don’t touch me.”

Atsumu would have made a joke about that at any other time, but he was afraid he would say the
wrong thing and Sakusa would stop before this had even started. He obediently dropped onto his
back, arms stretched out at his sides. He spread his legs just a little more as Sakusa came closer.

Sakusa leaned over him, hands planted on either side of Atsumu’s ribs. He stared down at him,
silently analyzing. “I’m serious.” He said it quietly. “Don’t touch me.”

“Okay,” said Atsumu. “I won’t. I swear.”

Sakusa didn’t look convinced, but he must have been. He looked between them and reached a hand
down, to grip the base of his cock. He guided himself into Atsumu, slowly, and the promise
Atsumu had made to keep his hands to himself was suddenly much more difficult.

Atsumu dug his hands into the sheets, seizing a double fistful and struggling not to move as Sakusa
sank into him. He felt even bigger than he’d looked, and Atsumu felt every inch of him as he
pressed deeper.

“Holy shit,” said Atsumu, his voice strained. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. Even when you got
your dick out, I didn’t think you were really gonna do it.”

“Shut up.”

“I wasn’t even convinced that you’d ever had sex before. Like, with the way you are about
touching people.”

“I said shut up.” Sakusa gave a sharp push of his hips, and suddenly Atsumu was incapable of
speech.

He could still moan though, and he did, low and loud as Sakusa thrust all the way into him.

“Put your hands behind your head,” said Sakusa. He seemed composed, but his voice was a little
breathy. “I don’t trust you.”

Atsumu tried to argue, but his voice wouldn’t cooperate. He gave in and raised his arms, sliding his
hands beneath his pillow and digging them in. He felt more open that way, more exposed.
Sakusa braced his hands again, leaning over Atsumu, his sweatpants tight around his thighs. He
rocked into him a couple of times, cautiously.

Atsumu caught his breath and said, “You can take your clothes off, you know. I wouldn’t mind the
view while you’re- fuck-”

Sakusa thrust into him, harder than expected. Atsumu’s teeth clacked together, his hips bucking
upward. Sakusa set a fast rhythm, and the slap of it was muted by the drag of Atsumu’s moans.

Atsumu’s legs twitched. He wanted to wrap them around Sakusa’s waist, to pull him in closer, but
he forced himself not to. Sakusa would stop. He would stop, and he would never do this again, and
god, Atsumu hadn’t known how much he’d wanted this until it was actually happening.

“Omi-kun.” Atsumu barely pushed out the words between his gasps. “You’re killin’ me here. Can
you at least touch me?”

Sakusa slammed his hips forward. “No.”

Atsumu gave a moan that was almost a whine. “Omi-kun, c’mon.”

“Stop talking.”

“Can I at least touch myself, then?” Atsumu’s hands were still trapped behind his head, where
Sakusa had told him to keep them.

Sakusa thrust into him and said, “Are you asking for permission?”

Atsumu spoke through his teeth. “I guess.”

“Ask more politely, then.”

Atsumu clenched his jaw and groaned as Sakusa struck particularly deep. Sakusa was fucking with
him. Atsumu knew it, but he was too far gone to care. He would do anything Sakusa asked him to
do. “Can I please touch myself?”

“If you promise not to come yet. I’m finishing first. If you get come on me, I’ll throttle you.”

There were so many teasing comments Atsumu could have made about that, but he didn’t attempt a
single one. He freed one of his hands and wrapped it around his own cock, arching his back with a
moan as he pumped himself. He could’ve gotten off so easily, but Sakusa had said to wait, so he
gritted his teeth and waited. It wasn’t easy. He was so damn close, and every time Sakusa pushed
into him, he got a little closer.

Sakusa made a low sound, his voice husky.

Atsumu belatedly realized it was a moan.

He squeezed the base of his cock so hard that it hurt, pushing down his orgasm, refusing to let
himself come.

“Jesus, Omi-kun,” said Atsumu. He kept his hand where it was, because he didn’t trust himself not
to come if he moved it. “If you want me to wait then don’t make sounds like that.”

Sakusa didn’t respond. His hair had fallen to cover one side of his face, but still Atsumu could see
his tension, in the tightness of his jaw and the stiffness of his shoulders.
Atsumu looked up at him, mentally snapshotting this for future use. He rolled his hips up to meet
Sakusa and said, “You close, Omi-kun? You look like you’re close.”

Sakusa’s mouth moved, probably shaping some version of shut up, but there was no sound.

“I didn’t think you’d be this good, but fuck,” said Atsumu, dragging his voice low. “I should’ve
known. You’re good at everything else.”

“Stop.”

“I’ll be jerking off to this for weeks. Months, probably. God, Omi-kun.”

“Miya…”

The sound of his name made something clench inside of Atsumu. He sucked in a breath and fought
against himself, tamping down his orgasm, barely keeping it at bay.

Sakusa didn’t hold his back.

He came with a low grunt, bowing his head and shoving deep inside of Atsumu. His shoulders
shook, forearms going taut as he gripped the sheets. He rocked into Atsumu a few more times,
twitching inside of him, until he expelled a heavy breath and the tension in his muscles drained
away.

Atsumu didn’t look away the entire time. He couldn’t.

Sakusa started to move. Atsumu reached for him, but snatched his hand back at the last second.

“Omi-kun, wait. Just… stay there. Just for a second.”

“I already told you-”

“I won’t come on you, I swear. Really. I just… I want to feel you in me. Please.”

Sakusa stared down at him. Dark hair was stuck to his forehead and his mouth was slightly open,
his breaths coming heavy. His eyes were an abyss, almost completely black. He didn’t answer, but
he didn’t pull out, either.

Atsumu took that as consent. He gripped his cock in his hand and stroked himself, so quickly that
the friction was almost painful. He didn’t care; he was so close, and he needed it so bad. Sakusa
was still thick and hard inside of him, and Atsumu moaned as he brought himself to the edge. He
yanked his other hand from beneath the pillow and cupped himself with it, spraying come across
his stomach and his chest, a stray drop of it dripping into the hollow of his throat. His tight muscles
gradually unwound, and he collapsed back with a sigh, eyes drifting almost closed. Beyond the
curtain of his lashes he watched Sakusa move back, felt a deep sort of hollowness as he pulled out.
Atsumu pressed his knees together and rolled half onto his side with a huff.

“I’m taking a shower,” said Sakusa. He’d already removed the condom and was holding it away
from himself with the absolute ends of his fingertips. “You need one too, when I’m finished.”

“After all that, you’re still not even gonna shower with me,” said Atsumu, his voice still a little
weak. “That’s cold, Omi-kun. After all I’ve done for you.”

Sakusa didn’t answer. He gave Atsumu one last look that lingered before turning and shutting
himself inside their shared bathroom. The shower started immediately, and Atsumu closed his
eyes, half-listening to the white noise of the water, half-wondering if that had really just happened.

Sakusa Kiyoomi had just fucked him. He hadn’t thought he’d ever be so lucky.

The bed jolted, and Atsumu realized Sakusa had kicked the corner of it to rouse him.

“Your turn,” said Sakusa. “You’re disgusting.”

“Whose fault is that?” said Atsumu. “You started it.”

“I did no such thing.”

Atsumu sat up and frowned down at himself. His come had half-dried into a sticky mess. “This got
on the sheets. Guess I’ll have to share your bed tonight, Omi-kun.”

“No, you won’t. I told you last night it isn’t going to happen.”

“Yeah, but that was before we fucked.”

Sakusa looked disgusted by the word. Or maybe by the thought of what he’d just done with
Atsumu. “It doesn’t make a difference. I’m not sharing.”

“That’s not fair! If your bed was dirty I’d share mine.”

“But mine isn’t dirty, yours is. That makes it your problem.” Sakusa paced over to his side of the
room and turned down his sheets.

Atsumu squinted at him. “You waited on my bed on purpose. So you wouldn’t be the one with
dirty sheets.”

Sakusa folded his pillow in half and curled up on his side, facing away from Atsumu. “You
weren’t complaining at the time. Go shower.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

Sakusa didn’t say anything, and Atsumu got up to shower.

“This conversation isn’t over,” he said, as he shuffled to the bathroom.

“Yes, it is. I’m asleep. Stop talking to me.”

“You are not.”

Atsumu yanked the bathroom door shut behind him. He glared at himself in the mirror, arms
folded across the stickiness on his chest, his hair rumpled in very unattractive angles. He wondered
what he’d looked like to Sakusa, laid out underneath him. Not too bad, he guessed, since Sakusa
had seemed into it.

He showered again and wiped down the tile walls when he was finished. He didn’t bother with a
towel this time. He had nothing to hide from Sakusa anymore.

The lamp was out when he stepped back into the room. The glow of the bathroom light behind him
dusted the curve of Sakusa’s shoulder.

Atsumu thought about crawling into bed behind him and hoping for the best.
He also thought he would probably get kicked in the face if he tried.

With a sigh, he cut off the light and blindly made his way to his own bed. He peeled off the top
sheet, balled it up at the end of the bed, and slipped beneath the remaining cover. It was thin, but it
would be fine. Atsumu usually ran hot, anyway.

Five minutes later there was a rustle from across the room and something soft hit him in the face. It
was too dark for him to see, but the texture of it was cozy. Atsumu realized it was one of the
blankets Sakusa always dragged with him on their overnight trips, in case the hotel sheets didn’t
meet his standards of cleanliness.

He smiled to himself as he shook it out and covered himself. It smelled like fresh linen, like all of
Sakusa’s clothes.

“I knew you didn’t hate me,” said Atsumu into the quiet room.

He was met with silence, but that was fine. It didn’t dampen his mood.

“G’night, Omi-kun.” Atsumu stretched out on his back and pulled the blanket up a little higher, so
he could still smell the soothing scent of it.

Almost a minute passed before Sakusa said, “Goodnight, Miya.”

Atsumu smiled as he settled in to sleep.

There was another overnight game in a couple of weeks. The two of them would inevitably get
stuck together again, as they always did. Atsumu was looking forward to it. He couldn’t wait to see
what happened next time.

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