K.J. Kogon - Eighteen

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Eighteen

Let me cough up this lump in my gut. This spoiled pomegranate


swallowed whole. I’ll spit out the seeds and read them like tea leaves.
I’ll split the rind and cradle my infant brain in the dimpled halves.
I need a mother / I need a lover / I need God. Someone show me
how to write with ink instead of tracing my finger in the sandbox.
Let me tear out the pages and stuff them down my throat. I’ll chew
on the words until I’m sure they were born from my tongue.
If I fell to my knees at the dusty altar and cried, Lord, I need you
to help me / Lord I need you to kill me like you killed your son,
Could you do it again just this once? Would I be good enough
to save? Send someone to lay with me while I am resurrected.
My newborn body shall be full and blushing with life.

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