HOW TO BE A DOCTOR

-Stephen Leacock

Stephen Leacock is a Canadian essayist and short story writer. In the essay “How to
be a Doctor”, he makes fun of educated doctors and science. He compares and contrasts
modern science with old age wisdom. He questions about the pathetic condition of patients.

Stephen Leacock feels proud while discussing the progress of science. He says that
the progress in the field of medicine makes one’s heart expand with pride. Hundred years
ago, there were no diseases like bacilli, ptomaine poisoning, diphtheria, appendicitis, rabies,
psoriasis and parotids. Today, they all have become common household names. Leacock
satirically thanks the advancements in the field of medicine for this.

Before hundred years, fever was cured by letting of the blood. Before seventy years,
sedative drugs were given for fever. Before thirty years, low diet and application of ice was
given fever. Today no such simple medication is followed to cure fever. During olden days,
people carried potatoes in their pockets to kill rheumatisms. Now no such thing happens.
Advancements in medical science has led to complications.

Leacock discusses the time taken by a person to become a qualified practitioner.

During olden days, it takes two winters to complete a medical course. During summer, the
learners would do some other work. However, in modern days, a learner takes more than
eight years to be a practitioner. It makes the person lazy.

Modern doctor’s business could be acquired in two weeks, says Leacock. When a
patient consults the doctor, he gives a blow on the patient’s stomach, which makes the patient
fall. The doctor would read the morning newspaper and ask the patient to be quiet and go to
bed. The patient will get well quietly, if not he will die quietly. They never question the
doctor.

A doctor’s advice on diet to his patient varies according to his mood. The patients are
pathetic in the hands of the doctors. Even after knowing all those hardships, all of us,
including Leacock, would like to rush to a hospital to save our lives.