Full name: Hoàng Thị Thu Hà

ID: 46.01.751.036
What are some suggested solution of school bullying among students nowadays?
School bullying is an aggressive action of perpetrator toward others which infringers the
physical and mental well beings of those who suffer It takes place either inside or outside
of the schools. Bullying in schools eventually occurs in every area of school, and it
always happens again throughout time. It has a detrimental impact on the general school
atmosphere as well as on the right of students to study in a safe educational environment
without fear. In recent years, bullying occurring at schools has given a certain amount of
attention from the public, and families so there are some solutions for this situation.
One of the most practical and effective ways to reduce the rise in bullying is to influence
personal aspects. For reasons such as rapid changes in physical and psychological but not
balanced or due to influences from the environment, past, family, and media, leading to
psychological instability, sometimes they are impulsive and unable to control their own
behavior. Therefore, educating and caring for them is extremely important. For example,
Chaien in the Doraemon cartoon bullies other children because he wants to take things
that he doesn't have from others but there are times when Chaien is also very kind and
caring to his friends. It can be said that it is not that Chaien has bad personality, but
because of the lack of caring from his family, it leads to actions to bully his peers.

To prevent this problem, not only individuals but families also have a positive influence
on this issue by concerning their children's education and contacting the school. Another
subjective cause leading to school bullying is the lack of attention from the family to their
children. Parents only care about doing business, providing money for their children to
spend, in addition, they do not know how their children study? The relationship with
friends good and bad ? or how relationship with teachers at school is? How they have
distorted thoughts about life, about society. Parents who do not care their children are
difficult to understand their children's feelings and emotions, and prevent their children's
wrong thoughts and actions.

Solutions to social causes also bring positive effects to the problem of school violence.
Mass media (violent movies, fighting clips, violent images ...), action games have a
relative influence on students. Due to the contagious behavior of students, because
secondary school and high school students are very important friendships and friendships
influence a lot on personality development at this age. Therefore, when children play
with a group of friends with violent behavior, they also have violent behavior and
sometimes that violent behavior is considered by children as a good behavior to protect
friends. This means that sometimes children are not aware or have a false perception of
the motives of actions that lead to deviant behaviors in the learning environment.

School violence is a major societal issue that is becoming increasingly complicated. This
is not to argue that the violence can't be put down. Each of us must take action and do
everything possible to prevent and eventually abolish school violence. Families and
schools require good education and the creation of a welcoming and healthy learning
environment for pupils. Instead of acting, we should communicate and share more with
one another. We should love one another and not hurt one another and say no with school
bullying.

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Sau khi đọc bài văn của bạn, em đưa ra một số nhận xét như sau:
Về bố cục bài làm rõ ràng, bạn sử dụng nhiều liên từ nối nên em có thể nhìn rõ luận điểm.
Từ vựng thì theo em là khá học thuật để hiểu với người đọc như em. Với câu
“Throughout the course of learning processes, education is prone to create imperfect
products, which are students that lack of practical knowledge.” Theo em thấy thì nó
không được ổn lắm, em nghĩ sửa thành “During the learning process, the education may
not be effective enough, leading to a lack of practical knowledge for some students” nghe
sẽ đỡ tiêu cực hơn. Bài làm của bạn phân tích rất tốt, có đưa ra ví dụ nhưng em thấy hơi
xa, chúng ta có thể lấy ví dụ về việc giáo dục gần đây ngày càng quan tâm tới các kĩ năng
mềm, và các lớp học thực tiễn nhiều hơn thì sẽ gần gũi và thực tế hơn