JEREMY TAN

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Purpose

This short book is for the people in this world who want to love living but are not sure how to
specifically. This book is for Jeremy who was growing up suffering from all kinds of mental fears
and self-deprecating thoughts with no guidance on those false impressions. For the child who
enjoyed all the things others said would not lead to any good success or happiness, such as
play and sports. For those who think life was meant to be smooth, easy and boring in order to
be enjoyable!

For those who understand there is no one size fits all external cure, such as jumping into a
caravan and going across the continents for eternal happiness. For people who like me, felt I
was the odd one out, the weirdo always different in a room full of normal people.

I write this for you what I have never done before or phathomed of doing, but sincerely hope it
can help serve you 1000x over. In a day all around the world, so many awesome people are
creating amazing stories and having tremendous conversations but few will be able to share
and little will be learnt from because we will not have access. I am an avid curious creature who
enjoys amazing conversations and stories and through that I hope my content will help touch
you and bring some help to you, so you can grow into the creature of your dreams.

Take away everything you can from the book, question yourself and the state of happiness you
enjoy and if you are seeking more? I never had everything in life I ever wanted and never will
because perfection in life is near impossible, but I am extremely content with what I have and I
can see from my surroundings that 90% of the people I know are discontent or simply have
given up hope on seeking to search for an elusive outcome.

Enjoy the content and consume it lightly, with some coffee and some pondering. Please keep in
touch via thoughthappy.com or hello@thoughthappy.com to share your feedback or if more
questions arise.

Mental happiness is not a dream, it is a reality we work towards like anything else in life.

Love yourself,
Jeremy

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Introduction

If you are reading this now and even staying on to read for the next 2 minutes, then I would like
to say congratulations! You are part of just a small group of people in this world who understand
that happiness is within you and not outside of knowledge of your surroundings! If you have
ever seen farmers, educators, social workers and even office employees working with a skip in
their step, smiling with massive sincere grins, they have found the secret to life regardless of
race, class or natural selections!

In all aspects of life, you have to commit and go 100% into something to be a champion. A
champion is never born, he/she was always made through the power of life’s education. The
harder the trials and tribulations, often the harder the character and mindset of the individual to
be a champion. Now if you would like extreme happiness and joy in life, what would it take?
Some learning and some results? Absolutely not! It takes full commitment in all aspects of life,
through the entire span of the average 70+ years of the current human lifespan!

If you are ready to dive in and make efforts, I ensure this is all free but will provide you with
eternal riches until you choose to deviate away from true happiness again!

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Content

Chapter 1: The Journey………………………………………………………………………………..5

Chapter 2: Selfish reflection is Selflessness………………………………………………………....6

Chapter 3: Gratitude…………………………………………………………………………………....7

Chapter 4: Physical ability for cognitive superiority………………………………………………….9

Chapter 5: Sleep is not only for you when you die…………………………………………………..10

Chapter 6: Reinforcement of self beliefs……………………………………………………………..11

Chapter 7: Freedom of expression…………………………………………………………………....13

Chapter 8: Talking to yourself………………………………………………………………………….15

Bonus Exercise………………………………………………………………………………………….18

Chapter 1: The Journey

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Happiness is a journey and not a destination, we have heard it since adolescence but yet we
always think we will be happy when we have ………………..( fill in the blanks). Now how many
cycles of this have you experienced and how many times has it clearly not brought any long
lasting happiness? I personally have been through this so many times and yet I still fall into the
same trap thinking that my frustrations in life can be solved by an item. First, I thought it was my
first car( a fast one) and then it was the property that I visited every weekend during the building
phase and slowly it became smaller things as I definitely could not buy houses to ease
frustrations(if I could that would probably make me even more depressed), it eventually became
watches, gadgets and any other random goods that caught my eye on the internet. Low and
behold, these resulted in 7 bluetooth speakers, 14 watches and countless pairs of shoes and
clothes which just caused clutter and absolutely served no purpose. I guarantee this might be
the same for you, because it does not matter the value of the items but simply we hoard and
collect so much especially now that the costs of goods are so low and they always look so shiny
and at such low price points!

If you have caught on with the Konmari method or The Minimalists on Netflix and on social
media, they simply are trying to explain happiness in another context, which is that clearly less
is more. This is absolutely true, and I wish the same for you reading this. Surround yourself with
what you want and need very clearly, eradicate the mess and if you must delete those shopping
applications on your phone! I have done so and it has helped tremendously! I still buy stuff I
regret every once in a while but that is better than regretting every other day! When you focus
on less consumption of unnecessary things that do not “Spark Joy” or actually serve any life
purpose, you really have more time to enjoy learning and developing time for other more
important things such as your passion in reading, arts or just the relationships around you.

Action: Delete those toxic shopping apps and unsubscribe to those promotional sales emails as
you will always know when is black friday and when is cyber monday in this day and age, you
do not need those reminders luring you in. You could also train your brain before clicking buy, to
ask if you need the item and use the web application of the e-commerce websites, and lastly not
store card details just to make it less convenient to buy and force positive procrastination!

Chapter 2: Selfish reflection is selflessness

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As you begin to remove unnecessary material items from your life, focus on being selfish for
more personal satisfaction. Only when you are truly happy, patient, kind and loving will others
benefit from being with you and society really see the greatness within you! Ask yourself, when
you are stressed, frustrated or depressed, how are your relationships, conversations or even
just text messages to loved ones or strangers? It was negative and just insincere, which
resulted in either the other party providing the same negative responses or the relationships
simply fading away. You have to work on yourself before you can work with others!

I have worked and met with countless people who had poor work attitude, bad temperaments
and simply impossible to communicate with. These people often had huge egos, thinking they
were above everyone else, whether taller, richer, smarter, more good looking… It was always
about them masking their inability to acknowledge and work on their own issues that affected
people around them. They might be going through a divorce, a family situation, financial
challenges or any type of personal development issues which they were simply not keen to face
and acknowledge. They were always trying to put down others and make themselves feel
better, thinking their self-preservation manner would make them feel better about themselves,
but it often simply was a form of igniting a bigger fire within them when they had personal time
to self reflect. Truth is we all self-reflect and are introspective, some to a great extent and some
to a minor extent, but we all do it not by choice but because of the way our brains are
programmed. See we naturally like to check our rearview mirror when we drive, compare prices
of goods to know if we snagged a good deal, compare results and progression with our peers
and family. Humans naturally compare and even the monks who meditate and seek
enlightenment in the Himalayas also admit comparing small things to some extent.

I urge you to learn to self-reflect extensively, making it a point in your calendar and day to think
about what you did right and wrong and how you can improve instead of blaming others. The
most important factor of happiness is that all we have can be to some extent controlled by
ourselves, and is not purely determined by our environment or natural selection. Be the best
human being you can be and only then you can be selfless to help others and see joy in
relationships and any pursuits you have! The same reason why in a pre-flight turbulence video
you are told put on your mask first before wearing it for your love ones and not the other way
round, only when you are calm and functioning right can you reach out to help others effectively

Action: Set a time in your calendar for 15 mins a day, where you focus on thinking about the
good things you did for the day, the wrong things you did that you could have done better and
how. Repeat this first weekly if you do not have the discipline and slowly place this into your
calendar daily with repetition to become a champion of your own selfish good.

Chapter 3: Gratitude

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We are told by our parents to be content and happy for what we have and to stop complaining
and comparing ourselves with others. Simply put “ Comparison is the root of all evil in life”, but
as my last chapter explained we cannot help it. It is within our nature to do it and to never feel
content. However we can manage that and gain clarity on what we are comparing ourselves on
and to what extent we are comparing ourselves to others.

Gratitude is beautiful and I promise it can snap you out of negative thoughts almost immediately
if done right and if done repeatedly! I practice it all the time and it has really helped me reduce
my anxiety and stress and acknowledge the gifts that life has already given to me and how I can
embrace and stack these blessings to benefit more people around me who allow me to touch
their lives.

The most important and common form of gratitude is the thankfulness for having life. Everyday
roughly 150,000 people die and this is not including numbers from the pandemic around the
world that is sweeping populations at sudden repeated waves. If we understand that life is a
precious commodity, we would appreciate the moment we wake up and pursue our passions
rather than our frustrations, building our relationships more than damaging them.

Gratitude being built around life can and should expand into the simplest things, from the food
and shelter we have upwards the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs triangle, to be the best form and
function that we can be.

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Diagram from https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Depending on where we are and the stages of life we are in, we are in one stage of Maslow's
hierarchy of needs for sure and this will serve as a reference to the gratitude you can have for
yourself! When I stumbled upon this model in my youth, it absolutely blew my mind away as I
noticed how the older we got and the more we obtained, the less satisfaction and joy we
showed in our body language! I was happiest being broke and making hourly wages but having
ample time to daydream of possibilities than making 10,000 times that hourly wage and suffer
from anxiety to rush to for my next scheduled task and meeting.

In a general scale, most people in 3rd world nations( Nigeria, Syria) are highly thankful for even
basic security and food as they are at the bottom 2 tiers of the Maslow hierarchy, whilst
developing and developed nation populations are often stacked in the middle 2 tiers of the
Maslow hierarchy, with a further proportion of that group within the top 2 tiers( Singapore,
Japan, Hong Kong) to name a few.

Action: Religiously stack and recall the good things you are thankful for daily whenever stress
and mental strain takes a toll on you. It will help you overcome and see you through situations
where you feel the odds are stacked against you. For example, if you feel stressed out that you
might lose your job, think about the things you have accomplished in life and put it out on paper

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in your CV and go out confidently to seek new opportunities. If you feel frustrated you are
having a terrible patch in your relationship with your spouse, recall the good times where
everything was like a honeymoon and share those memories with them, in clear hope of re-
introducing some joy back into the relationship. More often than not, many things are within our
mindset to turn a positive corner, however if we push it through the negative perspective then all
it results in is a more depressing outlook to our lives

Chapter 4: Physical ability for cognitive superiority

This is an area I know no one can enforce and is hard to convince anyone who is not interested
in exercise and physical activity, but movement is critical to superiority. I absolutely am an avid
fan of exercise as a child, being hyperactive and having attention deficit challenges, it helped
me focus so much more growing up. I tend to over do it for sure but just 30 mins a day is more
than enough, to really stimulate the blood flow and endorphins for a positive life.

Many people explain this but I realized that people who hate to break a sweat or hate the feeling
of panting and physical struggle will always avoid this practice. How I would put this in words
and action is to find something as simple as walking to your favourite park to see a particular
feature such as a waterfall, river or plant or to your favourite coffee place will work! Find a place
you seek an outcome for, and move towards that target. It could also be doing Yoga or
stretching exercises every morning to encourage more flexibility as we age. Movement can alter
our posture and a better posture can change our energy!

Sports fans will know that Cristiano Ronaldo, Lebron James, Rafael Nadal all have something in
common. They are athletes first and foremost, that's why they are highly cerebral and intelligent,
not the other way around. They worked hard on their physical fitness and that made them highly
alert, reactive and cognitively superior to their competitors who might have weaker mindsets but
better game ability. Research on their physical rituals and you will understand the pain and
gruelling workouts and body maintenance they go through to be the top performers in their fields
and successful in their chosen paths of life. If we take a small percentage of their physical
maintenance rituals and apply it to ourselves, we will become heightened in alertness,
confidence and have clearer cognitive ability than before, otherwise I give you a money back
guarantee on this! Whatever your excuse for not working out such as lack of knowledge, there is
Youtube, a lack of equipment there is physical body mass and a fear of the discomfort to
perspire there is always the air conditioner. Pick up the courage and motivation to attempt and
enjoy the “good vibes” after a positive physical session!

The fitter and healthier you get, the sharper and smarter you become! You feel less tired as you
adapt to sessions and as you naturally get lighter or have a lower resting heart rate, you also
become calmer to tackle stressful situations in your life.

Action: Look around the neighbourhood to find a place you would like to have a morning or
evening walk to go see. Plan the route and enjoy the journey. Start with a walk, progress to a
jog and slowly change it up to Yoga or interval workouts. Just go on to Youtube and search

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Interval workouts and a plethora of results will show up giving you no excuse to skip an
instruction based workout. Start with just 20 mins a day, that is 1/72 of the entire day’s time that
life gives you, surely you have time to spare for that!

Chapter 5: Sleep is not only for you when you die

Many people, including myself, used to say that I will sleep all I want when I die. However I can
clearly vouch for the mental stability and anxiety management I have when I sleep sufficiently
and efficiently instead of sporadic or with poor quality. There is a reason why we spend ⅓ of our
lives sleeping on average, because it is a necessary good( bear in mind that I do not say it's an
evil like many hustlers would). Apart from the things we do not grasp such as decreased heart
disease or respiratory illnesses, sleep affects our mood so obviously, you can tell if a positive
from a negative human being just by guessing their rest patterns.

Sleep, if done right, will make you spring out of bed raring to go with immense energy, much like
you are ready to seize the day! Lions are known to sleep ⅔ or more of the days, up to 20 hours
in order to be at maximal performance for hunting within the last few hours of the day, and they
almost never fail or go to bed hungry. This approach has also been adapted by athletes such as
Usain Bolt, who notoriously slept until he had to get up to race and set the world record in the
Olympics of 2008. Sleep is known to be the superpower humans can tap on and yet we pride
ourselves for sleeping less than others and hashtag #hustler on that achievement.

As a clear experiment, I slept well rested and well as a college student, with no stress and other
concerns for my grades(my mum should not read this) except to be the best college athlete I
could be. I was physically strong, fit and I could go to class, hit the gym, work 2 jobs and still
have time to hangout with my friends. Fast forward to my working years, I slept little, hoping to
use as much time to make money and close more deals, not knowing that the compounding
exhaustion made me depressed, stressed and delusional. The delusional situation is serious as
you spiral into a caffeine addict with high anxiety and poor thought and stress management
mechanisms, which results in the inability to think clearly on getting out of the moment. Yes, to
some extent I got more financial results but it is at a diminishing return rate and with many side
effects on relationships and other aspects of life. Overdoing anything is never good and I bet
you have met many successful people(in your eyes financially) who are on the edge, with high
anxiety and with some sort of rage which we associate with arrogance or impatience. We often
feel the rich are arrogant and selfish, but it is often due to their obsession and negative
perspective on rest and relaxation. At the highest level, there are successful people who are
calm, well thought out and not completely obsessed with 1 single factor of their pursuits but
more often understanding the richest of a holistic approach to life and the importance of rest for
an optimal life. Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos and Ariana Huffington prioritize rest for the highest
quality of life even though they have almost everything you would wish for, why not you and I?

Action: If you want to impulse buy an item now to make your day feel better, buy a better pillow,
a better blanket or better sheets! Make an effort to invest in sleep and rest quality over other
unnecessary aspects of life like pretty kicks and fine china! 100% efforts to improve your sleep,

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is to set the auto shutdown function on your phone to 1 hour before bedtime and the auto power
up to 1 hour after your waking hour. Digital devices are the top killers of sleep quality for the
bluelight and constant content flow! Get sleeping masks or blackout curtains also to increase
the knockout satisfaction! I need not prove to you how much happier you feel with good a good
rested night, your own experience till date will explain on my behalf

Chapter 6: Reinforcement of self beliefs

We are who we believe we are, therefore only true self-confidence can prevail over false
confidence and personas! How many times have you met someone who tries so hard to create
a false front but more often than not accidentally reveals their weaknesses the harder they try? I
for one have met many people throughout my life who try so hard to impress others through
words, through brown nosing and biased behaviour, only to crack and show frustration when
they do not get their desired outcomes or perpetually whine openly about their efforts. This is
entirely due to them not reinforcing their own self beliefs and trying to be someone they are
absolutely not! In the workplace this could be wrongly promoted managers and in relationships it
could be wrongly motivated partners in the relationship for the wrong reasons. Self belief
encompasses so many things, from who you want to be as a generic person to your core values
and differing from your sincere essence will make you insignificant to your potential and live a
mediocre life you wished was better when you reflect.

I emphasize to everyone I meet and show it in my own character that if I have a belief, I stay
strong and adamant that it is what will serve me until proven otherwise. For example, I do not
drink alcohol or use any form of nicotine or tobacco for leisure, simply because it does not serve
my purpose. Countless times, people I meet will question this practice and try to entice or tempt
a response to change this belief but it is absolutely fine to stay your own course than follow the
herd. Peer pressure and FOMO(fear of missing out) is the biggest killer of self belief
reinforcements and has a compounding self sabotaging effect on individuals, more than we
would ever imagine. The one time you let yourself go or let yourself into a world you had no
interest in, could lead to other times where you feel it might be alright to do it again and again.
Keep your religion and beliefs as strong as you keep your gold, in a place safe enough for no
one to see or touch. Other things such as people criticizing my love for documentaries or
enjoyment of waking up at 5am to see no one outside the window, just spurs me on to know that
different is not wrong but it is what makes life special, where we decide our own journeys and
destinations, if we are able to stay away from the noise.

I would like you to be sure of what your character is, what you can compromise on and what you
cannot, and then go on and live it. Never bow down to others who seek to put your beliefs down
or insult you for how you live your life. Bear in mind that these people are just 1 out of the 8
billion people in this world and for each unnecessary relationship you rid, the opportunity is the
chance to find a more self-serving and fruitful one. So many people are influenced by peer
pressure, especially with the overwhelming social media wave, that they believe that a good life
has a specific shape and size of dressing, cars, clothes, way of talking etc.. This will lead to
imposter syndrome and the inability to focus on a clear belief and fulfillment.

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Stay your course, deviate where you deem fit after your own research and proof of concept as
you always will but never change course like you would for societal fit as it will never lead you to
your best life. Everyone was born unique and your strengths and weaknesses belong to you
and will not change if you follow others or emulate specifically a role model. You are your best
role model because of your unique traits and the best version of yourself is one where you take
time to nurture your own beliefs and values. Like investing in the stock market, true wealth was
built through dollar cost averaging and long term holding of good quality stocks of strong
fundamentals( think Warren Buffett and the Berkshire Hathaway Group) instead of trading
haphazardly and taking short term positions, where you a right move here and there can make
you wealthy but few succeed and even fewer succeed repeatedly.

Action: Take time to think and have a set of beliefs and values, like good companies with
missions, mottos and core values, view yourself as a large corporation that will live on even
after you die, so you pay attention to your legacy and what you are remembered for. You may
want to write it and have it on your fridge, have it on your phone wallpaper or made into a wall
poster for your room, So many people have quotes, sayings and poetry of amazing people in
their homes so it is time you had your own too! My mum had items we had to observe at home
in terms of manners and it is pretty common to see those on walls of coffeeshops, such as
“Always be thankful and kind”

Source: Goalcast, https://www.goalcast.com/2018/07/16/confidence-quotes/

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Chapter 7: Freedom of expression

If there is anything that has made me happier, it is the freedom and stubbornness for the things
I would like to say and principles I carry. I wish this on everyone because this is one of the most
powerful ways to achieve mental happiness and satisfaction at absolutely no cost. What I mean
is, with your earlier values and beliefs you have discovered and set, make sure to live it and say
it like you mean it so you sleep great every single day of the rest of your life. If you dislike the
way your friend seeks to take advantage of you, tell them honestly and know that it will likely
serve them and others who feel the same. If people laugh at you because you share that you
are religious or homosexual, share your thoughts and never feel affected by others because
your freedom of opinion might just set them thinking if they or others might be the same and
feeling blessed. Ultimately, be yourself and never be afraid to share that truth in expression
whether in words, actions and behaviour for a happier life.

If you do not believe in killing animals and want to be vegan, good choice now be strong when
others insult or ridicule you. If you do not believe in the use of animals for testing, sure go ahead
and live the message without fearing backlash and any comments that do not serve you. On a
smaller scale, if you believe that talking behind other people’s back or brown-nosing is not within
your values, let others know instead of hiding and trying not to say in case others comment. It is
absolutely common for people I know to not be themselves in front of others or hide how they
feel because they are scared, worried or simply overthinking. In a workplace, this is how sexual
harassment, employee abuse and bullying occurs without anyone finding out. In a home, this is
how spouses who live in unhappiness environments never have a chance to move on, simply
due to the fear of speaking up or expressing their true feelings due to particular circumstances
that might not be as serious as they think. In society, people tend to talk about one another
behind each other's back but the truth is always hidden when they have to confront issues. This
is one of the reasons why people such as Cardi B, Naomi Osaka and Justin Bieber are so
prominent(note I do not use the word popular) globally, as they share the truth of their thoughts
on others and never try to suit society, which has made them happier at most times but also
given them uneasiness with pressure from a global scale of being non-conformists.

Social stigma is definitely one of the greatest stigmas around everything I discuss but if that is
something you ignore, maybe the outcome might not be as serious as it seems such as
financially, which tends to be the next most common.

In today’s great age of almost free expression, we are seeing people dare to challenge previous
norms. Global racism, sexism and even mighty corporate crimes are being unveiled all the time
lately, but this cannot be all, there must be more. Too many people are still hiding truths and
fearing backlash and comments on expressing their thoughts, as fear is the strongest emotion in
our mind as it sits in the front of our brains through our prefrontal cortex. I am not asking anyone
to be a radical thinker just to deviate or to be anyone you do not wish to, but voicing your
opinion and standing by it without forcing the acceptance of it to another person will make you
so much happier. What can upset you is what always happens out there, where some people
have their opinions such as on government policies or veganism and they spend hours arguing

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with you and forcing it down your throat for acceptance. That irritates you and everyone else so
do not be that person and hopefully you avoid that person as well! It makes great social media
posts and trends such as believing that the Coronavirus is a conspiracy and not a real virus… or
that vegan diet is the only way to get to perfect health... It might all be right or wrong but to be
happy, share your opinions but never waste time trying to convince others to convince yourself
as that is a sure way to frustrate yourself and the other party!

Everyone has that friend or boss who believes they are always right and they will make sure you
feel that way too about their thoughts. They are such uncomfortable people to be around even if
they are right but unfortunately we tend to keep our opinions to keep our friendships or our jobs,
which we still can if we voice our opinions or so what if we lost them in our lives but were much
happier? Happiness is simply a choice away, with 7 billion people in this world and just as many
choices out there to free you from these miserable situations.

Actions: Set a mental reminder to say what you want to say, in a nice polite and respectable
manner in any circumstance that you feel undermined or uncomfortable. You have to gain
courage to repeat this process and reduce the fear in you, for the natural process to take over.
Through repetition you will become mentally happier, physically more confident and naturally
more cheerful than stifled from your thoughts and behaviours.

Source: https://www.azquotes.com/quote/1388703

Chapter 8: Talking to yourself

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After all the internalization tools and self-priming I have shared, there is no more important
consolidation move of self talk. We often listen to others more than we listen to ourselves,
all because we do not trust ourselves. You have to get comfortable with talking to yourself,
daring to voice your opinions on your thoughts and even visualizing them regularly. That is
the reason we find putting post-it notes and motivational wallpapers on our mobile devices
and personal computers! They work at giving us good vibes, like we are telling ourselves
something we seek to believe in and are working towards without distractions of someone
trying to change our opinion because it sits in “our space” right in front of us.

I grew up an introverted child with low self esteem, so the best way I got past difficult
situations was to talk to myself. I would fall embarrassingly or drop things clumsily regularly
in public and simply tell myself “no one died, no need to feel embarrassed” and then move
on immediately. I have come to realize friends and others without this ability, who often
overthink or drown in embarrassment, simply remain at standstill and drown in the
embarrassing situation because they cannot talk themselves out of it. The ability to talk to
yourself is so powerful that I could eat my meals alone, watch movies alone and be
comfortable without company as a child(mind you this is very hard typically for many, who
require social reinforcements not being judged as a “loner”). With the invention of
smartphones, it has helped more people be alone in their thoughts and in their own space
but not in an authentic way as there is a higher distraction on hand to help them. Plugging in
and blocking out is their way of listening to their binge-watching cravings, but it also might
be their escape from reality.

Self talk is what got you to do many things you wanted, if you reflect, at some point in your
life. Where you wanted to go for a meal, what school and course you wanted to choose,
who you wanted to be with etc.. Self talk can be internal or you would like to verbalize it to
yourself but when you do it, you tend to follow through with your decisions as well. Prayers
are self talk, they are positive reinforcement and classical conditioning of the mind to
practice grace and certain religious beliefs. Athletes are seen on talking to themselves in
what commentators term as psyching up, often repeating the words “ I can do this, before
they step on stage for that big game”

Be comfortable with yourself, talk to yourself often, especially when you are hurt, stressed
or frustrated with a situation. I suggest writing out your thoughts and talking it out to
yourself, to know what got you in that emotion and how you can overcome that as soon as
possible with “ I should apologise”, “ I just need to go for a run” or even “let me watch some
comedy”. If you talk the solutions to yourself, you will find it faster and trust it much easier
than calling your friend or spouse, because we are our own best friends if only we knew
how to harness that relationship. How many times have you given love, career or any kind
of advice to someone for hours only for them to agree and then go back to their own
devices and repeat the same old mistakes again. How many times have you told someone

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you care for that tobacco, alcohol, gambling or any type of vice is harming them more than
helping them, only for you to feel you wasted your breath? They either agree and seem to
listen or they will talk themselves out of your advice, which reinforces my point that talking
to yourself drives your actions! Whatever we tell ourselves will start to stick and depending
on why we voice that opinion and the rate of repetitions of what we are telling ourselves, will
determine the stickiness of that story. It is how people can change their characters, habits
and even their life eventually into one of bliss, success etc.

Try to recall the time you made a change in your life, a big one or a small one, it all started
from usually an emotional feeling that made you voice your unhappiness to yourself and
trigger a change making statement to eventually obtain your result.. The stories we tell
ourselves make us and can break us, so hold yourself dear to everything you tell yourself
and never be affected by how others alter that story of you. When you die, we are given the
story of our lives, not of others living your life and with that, your internal story matters the
most for how your life will unfold.

Source: https://www.yourselfquotes.com/tony-robbins-quotes/

“When you change your story, you change your life.” - Tony Robbins,
www.tonyrobbins.com

This is not said by me but it was by Tony Robbins, a man who not too long ago was a
janitor cleaning up schools. He definitely did not close out the story on his life too early.

Actions: Learn to talk to yourself daily, ideally at the end of it so you can consolidate. The
best practice would be to journal the 3 best and worst emotions you experienced during the
day. List their causes and how you would obtain and avoid those feelings again. As you get

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more comfortable, you can voice that out verbally to yourself daily and remind yourself
again how you want to feel and slowly cement those opinions into your life story

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 The Treasure Vault
1. Create this once and it is for your keeping, this will serve you for the rest of your
life. Keep the best and worst memories in your mind so that you can use it when you
face situations where you need it.

1st, write out the short stories of your life in gaps of 5 years. The top 3 memories that you
treasured, that hurt you the most and finally the biggest misconceptions now that you are of
current age. Keep these in your journal and look back every time you have doubts on
yourself or fears in your mind that you cannot overcome. I call it your mental treasure vault
or David Goggins(www.davidgoggins.com ) calls it your cookie jar where you can pull key
memories out to spur you forward.

Memories of my story:

Aged 5 - 10: XXX

Age 10-15: YYY
Age 15 - 20: ZZZ

Examples of my own:
Best Memory of myself at 5- 10 years old
1) I loved holding mum and dads hand at the same time wherever we went
2) I loved going to school to meet different people who looked absolutely different and
came from totally different neighbourhoods
3) I enjoyed having no expectations of myself for tomorrow, treasuring the simple
commodities of love and time

Worst Memories of myself at 5 - 10 years old

1) I could not understand how to deal with anger and the only way to rid that negativity
was screaming and crying which did not help
2) I learnt how it felt to be bullied and ostracized which made me fear going to school
3) I felt that year on year expectations started to build from thin air on behaviour,
academic results and even my future career which was more than a decade away

Lessons from 5- 10 years old

1) How I did then did not matter to others and to my future anyway, why live with so
much social pressure?
2) That time and love can be redefined as freedom and that is what we actually enjoy
the most as humans

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 3) I learnt that I had no fear of anything around me whether it was learning to ride a
adult’s bicycle or jumping into a swimming pool from the diving platforms

2. Repeat this daily if possible and just observe how you will evolve into the person
you want to meet 1, 10, 100 years from now

2nd, Journal daily with the following types of questions. It need not be too long and it will be
easier and clearer to yourself as you make up your own format and short form of writing in
time to come.

Daily Actions Sheet For Your Journal:

Chapter 1: The Journey………………………………………………………………………………..4

What did you do today that made you enjoy today’s journey to your purpose?
Eg. I helped a stranger across the street, because I love to help people in any big or small
actions but always never did it because others will wonder about my intentions.

Chapter 2: Selfish reflection is Selflessness………………………………………………………....5

What did you gain internally today to improve in order to make yourself a better person to others
who cross your path?
Eg. I shouted at my spouse during a conversation because I was stressed about my upcoming
presentation at work and it had nothing to do with him/her. I have to apologise and also find a
mechanism to inform myself when I am stressed and getting out of hand to others.

Chapter 3: Gratitude…………………………………………………………………………………....6

What can you see as positive blessings you already have within your reach instead of outside of
that reach?
Eg. I do not have the best relationship with my spouse currently with all the things we are facing
at home from financial, lockdown and the kids but I am thankful he/she has not left and it
represents a chance to work on us. I might have seen on Facebook how my friend has such a
lovely new partner on images but I know my spouse and I started from the same point and I am
thankful to even have a chance to mend a marriage.

Chapter 4: Physical ability for cognitive superiority………………………………………………….8

What have you done for your physical fitness so that your mental game can be enhanced?
Eg. I ran in the morning to make sure I am awake and alert for my upcoming presentation that
can lead to my next promotion or propel my own business forward tremendously

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Chapter 5: Sleep is not only for you when you die…………………………………………………..9

What did you do to maximise your superpower and ROI your sleep?
Eg. I made sure to get a good restful Friday night instead of hanging out late at the bar, so that I
have the best mental state to coach and be present for my young children during the weekend,
where they spend 48 hours with me

Chapter 6: Reinforcement of self beliefs……………………………………………………………..10

What did you do today to reiterate to your brain that you are not swaying?
Eg. I am sticking to my managed calorie diet though I was introduced to the ketogenic diet or
intermittent fasting which seems to be better or more trendy, because I understand that all diets
are similar, it's more important to adhere and execute on the one of choice instead.

Chapter 7: Freedom of expression…………………………………………………………………....12

What did you stand up for today and have the courage to voice your opinion on?
Eg. I stopped a husband abusing his wife in public today and called the police to get help for the
poor lady. Whilst I understand the wife might not be happy, the public might judge me or the
husband might get violent to me, I did the right thing and voiced my opinion to stop what is against
my values of using violence.

Chapter 8: Talking to yourself………………………………………………………………………….14

What great story did you tell yourself today in order for you to agree with yourself?
Eg. I was tired, demotivated and not keen to go to the gym today because of the turbulence the
day had given me. However, I told myself that the only bad workout was the one I did not show
up for, so I put on my shoes and went through the workout anyway.

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The greatest thing about our stories is that we are all extremely different, but the worst thing is
we tend not to pursue our differences but herd towards similarities instead in pursuit of
acceptance.

- Jeremy Tan

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