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Handling Difficult People for Better Administration.

Conference Paper · January 2010

DOI: 10.13140/2.1.2351.7126

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Sanjay Raosaheb Biradar Vinod Devidas Devarkar

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 Handling Difficult People for Better Administration
Dr. S. R. Biradar, R. G. Dhole, B. P. Jadhav & Dr. V. D. Devarkar

Shri Chhatrapati Shivaji College, Omerga

Introduction

There are always few staff members who are sincere, hardworking and great workers,
but some are there who work little, passing the time for nothing and really create tension
among other staff members. Many times tough situations develop in the working place due
various reasons viz. interpersonal relationships, egoistic behavior, respecting each other,
hierarchy, etc. Understanding this problem that “why some people become more difficult or
negative” and “why they building up the tension among the people and tough situations due to
their behaviour” was time consuming yet hopeless exercise since long time.

The answers for these questions may lie in different attitude and behaviours. Some
people learn very early that if you make more mistakes, you will be less work loaded. Some
people feel so hopeless and powerless in their life due to which, they develop the attitude of
“what difference does it make?” These people are hard for us to work with, as they are often
indecisive, resistant to change or have difficulty expressing their opinion. When they are
stressed out and just don‟t have the energy to use better communication skills, judgment and
manners, negative attitudes and behaviours are expressed.

It takes a lot of energy to be positive, to keep things in perspective and to actively look
for the good in someone. Before you know it, we ourselves start to complain, grow stubborn and
get more negative or difficult. This bad attitude then ripples out to those around us, infecting
them and becoming entrenched in the workplace. This article is dealing with how to stop these
irritating behaviours.

Know Yourself & Co-workers

Know Yourself!

Before identifying difficult people we must understand ourselves. We must have to

study, What people expect to gain from being so difficult?. Why some people want to feel
important and listened to?, and Why some want to avoid outright conflict?,

Therefore, try to determine your natural style. Determine whether you are Task or
People oriented?

Task-oriented people are focused on getting things done and making tangible progress
on projects. For task-oriented people, consider whether you are a Dominator or Conscientious.
Dominators want to control. Conscientious people want to be accurate and follow the rules.

People or Relationship oriented people, consider whether you are an Influencer or a

Steady Person. Influencers are talkative, like change, and want to make a great impression and
be well-liked. Steady people are quiet and are concerned about keeping the peace and avoiding
change.

Knowing your natural tendencies gives you a starting point for evaluating others. It also
creates the possibility that you have your own weaknesses and fears that other types and
certain situations can provoke in you.

Dominators

These people are afraid of being taken advantage or losing control. This tendency can be
more dangerous with pressure or resistance. To compensate for this tendency,

 Inhibit your desire to lecture them.

 Restrict your speaking to a few short sentences.
 Assess whether your reaction is excessive relative to nonverbal signals of in both their
speaking and their facial expressions.

Influencers

These people are afraid of social rejection. As a facilitator, you might be easily distracted
and lack of enthusiasm which could in turn depress you.
 Instead of reacting to small nonverbal communication, postpone judgment.
 Alleviate your concerns by continuing on to improve your lost focus and start run.

Steady People

These people are afraid of change. As a facilitator, a Steady Person might be too rigid
and not serve the workers better.
 Consider an occasional suggestion to try something different.
 Have a way of testing whether small changes really worked.
 Decide that sometimes group harmony or participation is a higher priority than
exactness of the process.

Know Your Co-workers!

One way to understand how to deal with difficult people is to understand their
preferences, fears, and natural tendencies under pressure. Using any of a variety of style
preference instruments, person can work more effectively with a variety of difficult individuals.
How the person behaves at his workplace/ office is mention in the Table 1.
 Table 1: Behavioral Characteristics to Identify Co-worker’s Attitude

Type of Person Dominant Function Focus

Dominators Take Control  These individualistic, daring, competitive
people like to get immediate results, find
solutions to problems, exercise power,
judge others according to their internal
standards, and take control.
 Dominators are under pressure, they try to
take excessive control, use others to meet
their personal goals, and can even
manipulative.
 They fear being viewed as too soft and
losing social status. At their worst, they
compete for power with the leaders.

Influencers Influence People,  These socially-oriented, confident-looking

Create demands people crave atten tion, attraction, and an
atmosphere that is party-like.
 They worry about people‟s feelings and
are enthusiastic, open, trusting, and
expressive. They like a casual atmosphere.
 When Influencers are under pressure, they
can easily disorganize, and worried about
what others think of them. They fear lack
of change and dislike systems and
completing tasks.
Steady Avoid Con flict, Execute  These easy-going, low -keyed tea m players
Tasks prefer to know what is expected of them,
to do repetitive work, and concentrate on
getting tasks don e.
 They prefer to listen rather than talk or
direct activities. They like to know clearly
what the requirements and procedures are.
They like specific information . They are
generally quiet, but when they speak they
can make profound but humble clear
statements and voice their enjoyment of
working with others.
 At their worst, th ey can become upset by
unexpected change, unassertive, silent,
and self-sacrificing.
Conscientious Follow Rules, Create  These individuals are not easy-going. They
Perfection are motivated to be thorough and correct.
They are often described as cautious and
critical.
 At their worst, th ey can be intolerant of
other‟s differences, especially for
standards in getting work accomplished
and measure others by their
accomplishments.
How to Identify Difficult People?

That difficult person could be a colleague or your boss. Identifying their negative
attitude towards life or work is not an easy task. Handling such people with great caution will
definitely increase the value of your presence. Create and keep your personal power by
developing your soft spoken and communicating skill.

Here are few characteristic features of difficult people. By learning /identifying those
characters one can easily know the difficult people. These people are –

 They are always tactful in handling situations

 Their aggressive attitude promotes shouting and fighting acts.
 As they are hot tempered, loosing balance while talking.
 These are fault-finding in nature and always trying to criticize the things.
 They believe in pretending, drama, and lying.
 Negative attitude towards life.
 They try to manipulate you.
 Always crying and dying.
 Never straight forward but Sarcastic.
 Never accepting challenges.
 Always in search of other‟s shoulder to rest.
 Don‟t‟ want to leave comfort zone.

How to Deal with Difficult People?

To work together with different types, we need to create an atmosphere of mutual

respect, trust, and a willingness to adapt. Finding out how to maintain your personal power is
necessary to handle difficult people. Regular discussions play an important role in staying
assertive in tough situations. Learn “what to do” when difficult behaviour catches you off-
guard. Normally, when we are stressed out, we often have difficulty looking forward.
However, if you hear the same complaints time and again, it may be that it is you who needs to
move into problem-solving mode.

Here are some valuable tips on ways to stop other‟s difficult behaviour and reduce the
impact of negative attitudes.

 Always help someone to feel more important? Encourage him about his job descriptions.
Help him in understanding realistic expectations of others.
 Give the impression that we are not in hurry. Study the mood of the person. Take him
away from the working place for a cup of tea. Make eye contact and let him feel special.
Let him feel your friendly attitude.
 Try to communicate positively. Bring all positive things about him in discussion. Talk on
recurring problems, he is facing during work. Listen him carefully, which help you to
formulate your further communication /answer. Don‟t become agitated? Share as much
information as you can.
  Discuss about workplace environment. Is it comfortable? Peaceful and engaging? Try to
make workplace a visual, auditory and aromatic haven in their hectic day.
 Identify and get ready to feel some typical reactions and attitudes that you will be facing
and prepare yourself in advance to deal with them.
 Be sure not to reward difficult behaviours by giving in or backing off. You need to keep
your composure, be assertive and know exactly what it is you want to communicate.
 Be comfortable with people who need to express themselves – however, do not tolerate
abuse. Try using the person‟s name to gain their positive attention for positive result.
 Try to move difficult people away from Problem Identification towards Problem-Solving
thoughts. Help them generate ways to improve the situation.
 While dealing with difficult people requires extra energy and focus. It is essential that
you take care of yourself.
 Maintain balance for pleasure and distraction in your life. Eat properly to control mood
swings and to feel more energetic as positive energies sweeps out negative thoughts in
the mind of difficult people.
 Suggest difficult people to Cut out caffeine, which heightens our responses and makes
us more sensitive.
 Advice plenty of sleep, probably more than what he is getting now. This will give him
the energy he needed to think and provide the extra attention.
 Lighten up, have fun and remember to smile. All of these positive behaviours will buffer
you against the effects of dealing with tough situations.

Tips for Managing Difficult People?

Interpreting the type of individual who is creating difficulty can help you be more
effective.

Dominators - Task and Results-oriented

 Be clear, specific, brief and to the point.

 Be well-organized and focus on business.
 Present the facts logically and concisely.
 Ask specific questions (Best: „What‟ questions)
 Provide choices to decide among
 Give facts and figures to help with choices
 If you argue, argue about the facts
 To be convincing, refer to objectives and results
 Leave promptly when business is completed

Influencers – Relationship oriented

 Make your conversations and presentations interactive

 Be sociable yet fast-paced
 Talk about people and their goals
  Don‟t talk about details; put them in writing later
 Ask for their opinions about relationships
 Ask „Who‟ type questions
 Be convincing by using testimonials
 Offer incentives for their risk-taking, use a casual style.

Steadiness - Lovers, Relationship oriented

 Talk about commitment and goals

 Warm up slowly to your main points
 Show interest in them and their personal concerns, and Be patient.
 Present your ideas slowly and without pressure
 If you argue, look for hurt feelings and personal concerns
 Show minimal risks and provide assurance
 End with clear, specific solutions and guarantees if possible

Conscientious – Task oriented

 Prepare well and check accuracy

 Be straightforward, direct, logical, and low-key
 Focus on business
 Talk about specific information
 Do not rush them
 Be convincing by presenting a scheduled approach for implementation with a step by
step timetable
 Assure them that there will be no surprises
 Ask „Why‟ questions
 Give them time to verify what you said
 Be realistic
 Provide solid, tangible, practical evidence

Conclusion

To sum up, by understanding what people expect to gain from using undesirable
behaviours, we are in a much better position to deflect and defeat the difficult behaviour and
move the person from problem identification to problem-solving.
We need to help people feel more in control, more important and listened to. And we
need to ensure that we are taking care of ourselves and maintaining our own sense of humour
and balance.
By using these tips, we may be able to stop difficult behaviours and reduce the impa ct of
negative attitudes in your workplace.
If you improve your ability to read and respond to nonverbal communication accurately
and to hear and respond to the hidden meanings in what difficult people say, then you can deal
with them and also predict tough situations coming out of this.
 References

Don Gabor. Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations Publisher: Conversation Arts Media,
2006
John Hoover. Difficult People: Working Effectively with Prickly Bosses, Coworkers, and Clients
Best practices Publisher : Collins, 2007
Karen Mannering . Dealing with Difficult People Publisher : Hodder & Stoughton. Apr. 2009
Lucy Gill. How to Work with Just about Anyone: A 3-Step Solution for Getting Difficult People to
Change Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 2001
Roberta Cava. Difficult People: How to Deal with Impossible Clients, Bosses and Employees.
Publisher:Firefly Books, 1997
Robert M. Bramson. Coping with difficult people. Reprinted: Publisher: Dell, 1988
Ursula Markham. How to deal with difficult people Publisher : Thorsons, 1993

Websites
www.WorkSmartLiveSmart.com
www.thinklearnsucceed.com.au
www.abetterworkplace.com
www.workworries.com
www.outofstress.com
www.howtodothings.com

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