Empathy: Real Stories to Inspire and Enlighten Busy Clinicians >A Brief Clinician's Guide to Empathic

Expression
Daniel E. Epner+

Traditional Approach Empathic or Exploratory Approach

“Dad, you can't give up! You have to see your grandkids grow up.”

“I can see how much you love your dad, and I respect how hard you are fighting for him. It must be
“Your father isn't giving up. He's fighting for his quality of life and dignity.”
brutal for you to see him like this. I know you have had great times together.”

“I hate when you talk about giving up. We're not quitters in this family. You always told me never to quit.”

“It sounds like your dad has instilled a true fighting spirit in you and has set a great example. You are a
true warrior, and I respect the fact that you risked your life overseas to protect our freedom. I also
“Your father isn't giving up. He's fighting for his quality of life and dignity.”
know your dad is no quitter, because I, like you, have seen how hard he has fought this illness. He is
tough as nails, and so are you.”

“Oh, it doesn't matter what he thinks. He may be the sick one, but we make his decisions for him.”

•Provider: “What do you think he would want if he could speak to us?”

“I realize you are his medical power of attorney, but we have to make sure to respect his wishes. Did •Family member: “He would want to cure his cancer or at least fight it until the end.”
he complete an advanced directive before he became incapacitated?” •Provider: “What else would be important to him in addition to curing his cancer?”
•Family member: “He always said he never wanted to be a vegetable on a machine at the end of life.
He told me he wants to go in peace when his time comes.”

“I know my daughter is suffering greatly, but she said, ‘Never give up on me.’ I have to honor her wishes, so I can't make her DNR.”

“When I put on this white coat several years ago, I promised above all to do no harm, and I mean to “I can see how much you love your daughter and I respect how hard you're fighting for her. I can only
honor that promise.” imagine how painful it is to think of life without her. Tell me more about what you mean by ‘giving up.’”

“Please don't tell my mother she has cancer or any other bad news.”

•Provider: “Tell me more about your concerns and why you don't want us to tell your mother.”
“We have to tell her about her disease in order to offer her evaluation and treatment.” •Patient's son: “I'm concerned that she will give up all hope and stop fighting.”
•Provider: “I respect how hard you're fighting to protect your mother. You obviously love her a great
deal. You have traveled so far to get here; you carry a heavy burden on your shoulders.”

Date of download: 12/29/22 from AccessMedicine: accessmedicine.mhmedical.com, Copyright © McGraw Hill. All rights reserved.