RESUME II

MARRIAGE COUNSELING

“Marriage Concept (Continued)”

Lecturer :
Dr. Nurfarhanah, S.Pd., M.Pd., Kons

Created By:
Azahra Hardi Cusinia
19006069

DEPARTEMENT OF GUIDANCE AND COUNSELING

FACULTY OF EDUCATION

UNIVERSITAS NEGERI PADANG

2022
 Marriage Concept (Continued)

A. The Basis Formation of Marriage

Marriage is an inner and outer bond between a man and a woman as
husband and wife with the aim of forming a happy and eternal family based on
the One Godhead. The birth bond is a formal relationship that can be seen
because it is formed according to the law, which relationship binds both parties
and other parties in society. An inner bond is an informal relationship formed
with a genuine mutual will, which binds only the two parties. The inner and
outer bond is meant that the husband and wife relationship should not be merely
an outward bond in the sense that a man and a woman live together as husband
and wife in a formal bond, but also that both of them must develop an inner
bond. Without the inner bond, the outer bond is easily released. It is this bond of
birth and inner bond that becomes a solid foundation in building and fostering a
happy and eternal family. In general, the purpose of marriage can be divided into
three parts, namely:
1. Justify sexual relations to fulfill the demands of human nature.
2. Creating a family based on love.
3. Obtaining legal offspring.
In more detail, the purpose of holding a marriage includes:
1. Obtain and carry out offspring. Instinctively, humans enter into marriage
solely to obtain legal offspring. The legitimacy of his descendants has
received recognition from himself, society, state, and religion. A happy family
is generally determined by the presence of a child in the household.
2. Fulfilling human desires to channel their lust and pour out their love. It is
natural that humans are created in pairs and have the instinct to relate between
men and women. Marriage is in addition to channeling human sexual instincts
as well as channeling love and affection and responsibility. Without love and
affection and responsibility, married life cannot run properly.
3. Growing seriousness to be responsible for accepting rights and obligations, as
well as being serious about obtaining lawful assets. Day- 5 to-day life shows
that unmarried people's actions are still influenced by their emotions so that
they are less serious and less responsible. In contrast, people who are married
are more able to control their emotions and work more diligently than people
who are single. Because people who are married understand the responsibility
for the necessities of life, this is what encourages the spirit to seek sustenance
as a provision for their family life.
Build a household to form a peaceful society on the basis of love and
affection. The family is the most important factor in determining the tranquility
and tranquility of society, this can be realized if the family can live in harmony
in their household. Harmony can be realized if husband and wife are aware of
their respective responsibilities and rights. Prawihardjojo (1986) suggests that in
marriage there are five elements, including:
1. Inner Birth Bond
The birth bond is a formal relationship that can be seen because it was
formed based on existing laws, while the inner bond is an informal
relationship formed based on the mutual desire of both parties. This outer
bond binds both parties and other parties in society, while the inner bond only
binds both parties. The marriage bond is a sacred bond as taught by each
religion.
2. Between a man and a woman
Marriage can only take place between a man and a woman. A man is
someone who has a male gender, while a woman is someone who has a
female gender. Marriage between the same sex is not possible because human
nature is in pairs with the opposite sex.
3. As husband and wife
A legal marriage between a man and a woman creates legal
consequences, among others, the rights and obligations that must be fulfilled
 as husband and wife. Husband and wife live together in one house with the
main purpose of meeting the biological needs of both.
4. The purpose of marriage is to form a happy and eternal family (household).
The family is the smallest unit and is the basic joint structure in society
consisting of father, mother, and children. To form a happy family is very 6
closely related to offspring and husband and wife as parents have full rights
and obligations in the care and education of their children.
5. Based on God
Almighty Marriage has a very close relationship with religion and
spirituality as stated in the first Pancasila precepts. Marriage not only has an
element of physical (physical) ties, but also has an inner (spiritual) bond.
Because this inner bond has a very important role in a family, it can be said
that it is an inner bond that is able to unite a family.
In Islam there are several legal basis for marriage which are listed in the
Qur'an and hadith including:
1. QS. Ar. Ruum (30):21: And among the signs of His power is that He has
created for you wives of your own kind, so that you may tend and find
peace in them, and He has created between you love and compassion.
Verily in that are signs for a people who think.
2. QS. Adz Dzariyaat (51):49: And We created everything in pairs so that you
may remember the greatness of Allah.
3. HR. Bukhari-Muslim: O youths, whoever among you is able to marry, let
him marry. Because by marrying it is more able to lower the gaze and
guard the genitals more. And whoever is not able, then let him fast, for
verily fasting can be a shield for him.
And the legal basis for marriage in Indonesia are:
1. Article 28B Paragraph 1 of the 1945 Constitution, which regulates a
person's right to marry and continue offspring. As for the sound of Article
 28B Paragraph 1 is "Everyone has the right to form a family and continue
the lineage through a legal marriage."
2. Law No.1 of 1974 concerning Marriage which was promulgated on
January 2, 1974, which came into effect on October 1, 1975 is a form of
unification and codification of law in Indonesia regarding marriage and its
legal consequences.
3. Compilation of Islamic Law through Presidential Instruction (Inpres) No. 1
of 1991 dated June 10, 1991 and was anticipated organically by the Decree
of the Minister of Religion No. 154 of 1991 dated July 22, 1991. There are
7 Islamic legal values in the fields of marriage, grants, wills, endowments,
and inheritance. Those relating to marriage are contained in Book I which
consists of 19 chapters and 170 articles (Articles 1 to 170).
4. Government Regulation of the Republic of Indonesia Number 9 of 1975
concerning the Implementation of Law Number 1 of 1974 concerning
Marriage.
B. The Condition for Formation of Marriage
A legal marriage is only a marriage that meets certain conditions through
certain procedures that have been stipulated in Law Number 1 of 1974
concerning Marriage. Furthermore, there are 6 principal principles in this
Marriage Law:
1. The purpose of marriage is to form a happy and eternal family. For that
husband and wife need to help and complement each other so that each can
develop his personality to help and achieve spiritual and material well being.
2. In this law it is emphasized that a marriage is valid if it is carried out
according to the law of each religion and belief, and besides that each
marriage "must be recorded" according to the applicable laws and regulations.
3. This law adheres to the principle of monogamy. Only if it is desired by the
person concerned, because the law and religion of the person concerned
allows a husband to have more than one wife.
4. This marriage law adheres to the principle that a prospective husband and
wife must have matured in mind and body to be able to carry out a marriage,
in order to realize the purpose of marriage, both without thinking about
divorce and getting good and healthy offspring.
5. Because the purpose of marriage is to form a family that is eternally happy
and prosperous, this law adheres to the principle of making it difficult for
divorce to occur.
6. The rights and position of the wife are in balance with the rights and position
of the husband, both in domestic life and in community relations, so that
everything in the family can be negotiated and decided jointly by husband and
wife.
Based on the provisions of Article 2 paragraph (1) of Law Number 1 of
1974, a marriage is considered valid if it is carried out according to the law of his
religion and belief, including the provisions of legislation that apply to his
religious group and belief as long as it does not conflict or is not stipulated
otherwise in the law. the law. The conditions that must be met to carry out a
marriage according to Law Number 1 of 1974 are as stated in Article 6 to Article
11, namely as follows:
1. The approval of the two prospective brides Article 6 paragraph (1) of Law
Number 1 of 1974 reads "Marriage is based on the approval of the two
prospective brides." Marriage approval is that marriage must be based on the
free will of both parties, both the prospective bride and groom. The consent or
voluntarism of both parties to carry out the marriage is a very important
requirement to form a family that is eternally happy and prosperous in
accordance with the purpose of the marriage itself.
2. There is permission from both parents or guardians for the prospective bride
and groom who are not yet 21 years old. Regarding the need for permission, it
is closely related to the responsibility of parents in the care carried out by
parents with difficulty in raising their children so that the freedom that exists
 in the child to determine the choice of a prospective husband or wife should
not eliminate the functions and responsibilities of parents. Article 6 paragraph
(2), (3), (4), (5) and (6) of Law Number 1 of 1974 states:
(2) To carry out a marriage, a person who has not reached the age of 21 years
must obtain the permission of both parents
(3) In the event that one of the parents has died, then the permission referred
to in paragraph
(2) is sufficient to obtain from the parents who are still alive
(4) In the event that one of both parents has died, then permission is obtained
from the guardian or family who have blood relations from a straight line of
descent.
(5) In the event that there is a difference of opinion between those referred to
in paragraphs (2) (3) and (4) of this article, or one or more of them do not
express their opinion, the court in the legal area of residence that gives
permission (6 ) The provisions referred to in paragraphs (1) to (5) of this
article shall apply as long as the law of each religion and belief does not
specify otherwise. (6) The age of the prospective groom has reached 19 years
and the prospective 9 woman has reached 16 years.
3. Between the prospective groom and the prospective bride is not in a
blood/family relationship who is not allowed to marry (Article 8).
4. Not in a marriage bond with another party (Article 9).
5. For husband and wife who are divorced, then remarry each other and divorce
again for the second time, their religion and belief does not prohibit them
from marrying a third time (Article 10).
6. Not in waiting time for the prospective bride who is a widow.
 Then according to the Compilation of Islamic Law (KHI) the conditions for
marriage contained in article 14 to carry out a marriage must exist:
1. Prospective husband, the conditions:
-Muslim
-Boys
-Clear person
-Can give consent
-There are no marriage barriers
2. Prospective wife, the conditions:
-Muslim
-Girls
-Clear person
-Approval can be requested
-There are no obstacles
3. Guardian of marriage, the conditions:
-Man
-Adult
-Have guardianship rights
-There are no barriers to guardianship.
4. Witness marriage, the conditions:
-Minimum two men 10
-Present at the qabul
-Can understand the meaning of the contract
-Islam and Adult
5. Ijab Qabul, the conditions are:
-There is a marriage statement from the guardian
-There is a statement of acceptance from the prospective bride
-Using the words marriage, tazwij or a translation of the two words
-Between consent and qabul go hand in hand
 -People related to consent and qabul are not in ihram for Hajj or Umrah
-The ijab and qabul assembly must be attended by a minimum of four
people,namely the prospective bride or her representative, the guardian of the
bride, and two witnesses.
It can be concluded from the conditions of marriage according to the
Compilation of Islamic Law, namely, there must be a prospective husband and
wife, the prospective bride must be of the same religion or faith, for the
prospective husband to give his consent and the wife can be asked for her
approval, there must be a guardian who has guardianship rights over the
prospective wife. . There must be a minimum of 2 (two) witnesses, and an ijab
and qabul to ratify the marriage. These conditions are very closely related to
whether a marriage is legal or not according to the Compilation of Islamic law,
all of these conditions must be met if you want to carry out a marriage or
marriage, if one of these conditions is not met then the marriage or marriage can
be annulled.
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