My Side of

The Story

Volume 2

A One Act With Scenes And

Monologues For Teens

Kristin Kay Rasmussen

 Copyright © 2019 by Kristin Kay Rasmussen

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any
means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without
the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in critical articles and reviews.
FOR THE WIN

(a.k.a. Possibly The Most Flexible One Act Play Ever)

Author’s note:

As a drama teacher I know what it is like to lack resources, to lack time,

and to lack the funds to put on a simple, yet fun, show that will interest
students and make money. Each of us as drama school. As a playwright,
I have tried to channel my classroom experience into characters and
conflicts through a series of monologues and vignettes with a focus on
flexibility.

You are allowed to use all or some of the pieces in this play. You can
run the pieces in alternating order, meaning one piece from the “On
the field” list and one from the “In the Classroom” list. You could also
run all the athletic themed pieces in order and then all the academic
pieces in order. Some of these pieces that are run as scenes (Cheerleader
#2 or Mascot #2 for example) could actually be condensed and done
as a monologue if that works for your situation. I have even provided
scenarios where you can have students write an original monologue or
scene as part of the play. In other words, make this your own! Think
of the possibilities. Is this a way to get athletes involved in you
program? Is this a way to do a fundraiser with another school club? Let
me know how you reimagine these pieces at your school!

Best Wishes,

Kris Rasmussen
For more information, go to www.krisrasmussen.net, or contact me at
kriskrasmussen@gmail.com.

***PLEASE NOTE that the purchase of this book does not include
performance rights for any production that charges an admission or
asks for donations. You can arrange for a one time only performance
fee of $35.00 which grants you unlimited performance rights for any
and all productions by emailing me at the address above
 Table of Contents

On the field ................................................................................. 1

Concussion # 1.............................................................................. 1

Concussion, # 2............................................................................. 3

Mascot #1 ..................................................................................... 4

Mascot #2 ..................................................................................... 6

Cheer #1 ....................................................................................... 9

Cheerleader #2 ............................................................................ 11

Acceptance Speech #1 .................................................................. 13

Acceptance Speech #2 : ................................................................ 14

Germs #1 .................................................................................... 16

Germs # 2 ................................................................................... 17

In the Classroom ....................................................................... 18

Group Project #1......................................................................... 18

Group Project #2......................................................................... 20

Quiz Bowl #1 .............................................................................. 23

Quiz Bowl #2 .............................................................................. 24

Quiz Bowl Scene ......................................................................... 26

Scores #1..................................................................................... 30

Scores #2..................................................................................... 32
It’s never about the things I know #1............................................ 33

It’s never about the things I know, #2........................................... 34

It’s never about the things I know #3............................................ 35

That’s Not a Sport ....................................................................... 36

Bonus Chapter: Spare scenes ........................................................ 40

Bonus Chapter: Monologue lesson plan ........................................ 55

Bonus Lesson Plan: “Where I’m From” ........................................ 60

Bonus Monologues ...................................................................... 63

 The stage is divided into two sections. Stage

Left is set up as a classroom with a couple of

desks, etc. SR is set up as a locker room. Perhaps

a couple of benches, a locker or two, equipment

in the corner.

On the field

Concussion # 1
(author’s note: This monologue can be easily adjusted for football, soccer,
or other contact sports.)
(athlete, maybe in uniform, leaning against a hockey stick, talking to
teammate)

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

(Slams the hockey stick into the wall or the ground for emphasis)

I kept telling him that and he wouldn’t listen. I put three fingers in
front of my face. I named the day of the week, the president, my
birthday. ( slams stick, talking to teammate again) See. I am fine. Don’t
say a word. (threatening) We’re down by one. Greg, I am not kidding,

He skated away. I reached out to grab him and I fell.And he fell. I

pulled myself up,I was gonna climb right over him. but I fell again. I
wasn’t dizzy. I wasn’t. I saw the coach coming toward me. It was too
late. He’s gonna pull me out of the game.But then I saw Greg wasn’t

1
getting up. He had taken his helmet off when he was fighting with me.
(slams the stick)

Greg….he has headaches now. He hasn’t been in school in a few

days.just because he was looking out for me. (slams a stick one last time)

2
Concussion, # 2
(Greg, young man, possibly in athletic jersey, but
sitting down . Tries to read a book. It physically
hurts. Puts book down. He relives a moment.

GREG

(to teammate) Look at me. Look at me.Dude you can’t focus. You are
not ok. No, I don’t think you are.

(to himself)

I could’ve believed him. He could remember his name, count the

fingers in front of his face. Fine. Let’s get back to the game. But he
looked in the crowd and I just didn’t…. he didn’t seem like he was
really seeing people, you know? He got pounded last week when we
played Central. And last year ..he did have a concussion in the district
finals. So….I’m his friend. I just have to do this. I skated over to tell
Coach to take him out. but he grabbed my jersey. I don’t remember
the next moment. Next thing I remember I wake up on the ice.

I’m getting better. But I have been out of school for two weeks. Josh
doesn’t even bring me my homework assignments. Glad you’ve got my
back, man. Because if I ever get on the ice again, I’ll make sure no one
has yours.

3
Mascot #1
MASCOT (Very soft)

I can go all day without I can go all day without anyone noticing me.
I get marked absent more than anyone I know…. and I sit in the front
row. I get marked absent more than anyone I know…. and I sit in the
front row. (sigh) My parents don’t always realize I am home and forget
to tell me dinner’s ready. Or turn the lights off while I am still in the
room. I don’t mind really. I like the dark. But Miss Bozman – she saw
me. Saw me trying to blend into my locker every morning by
pretending was looking for a missing homework assignment. She knew
I was late to third hour all the time just so I could get lunch detention
and eat my cheese sandwich alone. Then she called me to her office and
gave me the tiger costume. She wanted me to be the new mascot for
the Madison High School tigers.

(motions put on costume, voice now grows in

strength, but it is still pretty meek.)

ROOOAAARRRR

It felt really good.

(again a little louder)

ROOAARR

(Louder)

ROOOAARRR

4
And now I am the school mascot. My first game is tonight. Nobody
knows it’s going to be me, Miss Bozman promised.

(One final epic sound)

ROOOARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5
Mascot #2
(Three student protestors enter a board meeting
wearing signs that says “I am not a mascot” )

PROTESTOR #1

We the students of Wilson High School are respectfully asking the

school board to remove our current school mascot due to its politically
insensitive, inappropriate and controversial nature. It is not unheard of
for schools to realize what was culturally acceptable at one time in
history is no longer acceptable in today’s diverse society.

PROTESTOR #2

Fact. Mascots such as Blackhawks or Redskins have been removed in

place of more tolerant team mascots. There have even been some
schools who have had to remove such offensive mascots as the Arabs or
the CottonPickers or Midgets.

PROTESTOR #3

That’s why, if we care about the reputation of our school and our
community, we can no longer be called the Honeybees. Honey Bees
are endangered. Colonies are collapsing. After much research, we
decided the wasps or the yellow jackets also would not be acceptable.as
they are also endangered in certain places .

PROTESTOR #1(to protester #3 , whisper)

But not in America right?

6
PROTESTOR #3

No . I don’t think so. Just in Europe.

PROTESTOR #1

So the Wasps would not be that unacceptable as a mascot, but we feel

there are better options we would like to present you with this evening.

PROTESTOR # 2

We feel that our school could become something more socially aware.
The Mighty Maples would be an excellent choice., embracing our
region’s naturally sweet resource.

PROTESTOR #3

We talked about this. Maple is pure sugar. It could be offensive to

diabetics. And possibly even to people who are...fluffier than average.

PROTESTOR #2

We do have some suggestions that are fruit and vegetable related .

PROTESTOR #1

We do?

PROTESTOR #2

There is precedent with college teams like the Fighting Okra.and a

college mascot called ... Artie the Artichoke. We thought maybe….

7
PROTESTOR #3

Don’t you think vegans would have a problem with that, though?

PROTESTOR #1

What?

PROTESTOR #3

Do we want to make fruit and vegetables seem violent when vegans are
peaceful caretakers of the earth,not wishing harm to another living
creature?

PROTESTOR #1

I’m sorry. We’ll get back to you. I would also like to point out that this
wasn’t really my idea, but we are getting extra credit for Ms. Silver’s
civics class. Good night.

8
Cheer #1
(A girl in full cheer costume. She walks on to the
stage and looks at her “judges”. She musters up
enthusiasm.)

CHEERLEADER

Hey, Hey, it's time to fight.

Everybody yell for the blue and white.

(She stops. Collects herself. She is really going to try to be enthusiastic this
time.)

I’m sorry. Just a little nervous.

Hey, Hey, it's time to fight.

Everybody yell for the blue and white.

(Stops. Puts pom-poms down)

No. Wait. Why are we still the Flying Dutchman, you know? I mean,
like, I get it back hundred years ago, lots of people came over in
wooden shoes and planted tulips. But has anyone noticed that this
school is now thirty-eight percent Hispanic? Ten percent Asian-
American? Isn’t that like over 50% percent of the student body? Looks
like the Flying Dutchman flew somewhere else. Why don’t you name
the new baseball field after someone like Mel Almada, huh? Or maybe
we could at least have a new mascot…. The campeones or El guerros
or something. Which sounds way more fierce than the Flying

9
Dutchman, right? But what rhymes with campeones? I am going to
work on it and get back to you.

10
Cheerleader #2
Cheerleader outfit throws pom poms on ground,
Lifting weights in the locker room. Has a black
eye.

CHEERLEADER #1

(mimicking) Oh so you dance and stuff.Like the Dallas Cowboy

Cheerleaders.I bet you want to be like them someday.

(Lifts more weights. Cheerleader #2 enters. Lifts

weights.)

CHEERLEADER #2

“Why do you lift for cheer ? Don’t you just have to be skinny?

(Cheerleader one and two laugh as cheerleader

three enters.)

CHEERLEADER #3

Why are you a cheerleader? You aren’t that pretty.

CHEERLEADER #1,2,3 (unison)

You must be a cheerleader because you didn’t make a real team.

(They all laugh and high five. They return to the

weights.)

11
 CHEERLEADER #1

I didn’t get this black eye because I can dance and I am flexible. In
other sports, if you miss the catch, all you drop is the ball. Not me.
Always catch my squad.

CHEERLEADER #2

Can you balance on one foot, 12 feet in the air, just because you’re
skinny? No, because you can only do more with a stronger core.

(The girls high five again. There is banging on the

door.Voices.Male ones.)

CHEERLEADERS 1,2,3

Go away! This weight room is still ours.

CHEERLEADER #1

Go push your little pad thingys on wheels across the field.

(Pounding on the door continues.)

CHEERLEADER #2

We could let them in.

(Cheerleaders laugh and continue to lift weights.)

12
Acceptance Speech #1
DUSTIN

I’d like to thank my parents for making me the all conference champ,
except I am pretty sure they aren’t here tonight. Still I want everyone
here to know I owe this award to them. Because I don’t even like
basketball. I don’t like any sports, not even on tv. But thanks to their
constant fighting my dad’s temper my mom’s need to live her life
through me, I joined the team and did my best. I have spent every
moment of my high school career practicing anywhere, everywhere so
I didn’t have to be at home. And now, I have the honor of receiving
this... award tonight. And I should feel good about it. But I don’t.

13
Acceptance Speech #2 :
(Student is giving a speech. He/she has
many, many cheap, ugly, weird medals
around the neck.)

STUDENT

Yes I have been voted most improved every year since first grade at
every sport I have ever tried. Yes, it took me until fifth grade to figure
out that most improved” is just code for you really sucked at first and
now you don’t suck quite so much.Now that I am graduating,you have
voted me an honorary participation award, which is also not a real
award, but a slam at me. You thought it would be funny because it
would make people remember the time I tried hurdles in track and face
planted every time.Or it would take us all back to the days when I got
tangled up in the volleyball net in gym, or broke my wrist playing
tennis, or had bruises all over my face because my teammates used me
as a target during soccer practice when I tried to be the goalie.Seriously,
I’d like to see a highlight reel of all that. I am not going to college on a
sports scholarship . Neither are most of you. And if any of you think
you’re turning pro at a sport? You’re probably not. But you know what
I can say that most of you can’t? That I am a well rounded human
being who isn’t afraid to try things because I am afraid of how I look.
I’m glad that a high school awards banquet is the high point of your
life.Because it will not be the high point of mine

14
(Author’s note this is another spot where a student could write a monologue
and write their dream acceptance speech. What would be the award they
would win and what would they say ? How would it feel to suddenly wake
up and realize it is a dream ?)

15
Germs #1
An older brother, Jake, is swinging a bat and practice hitting a ball.

Go in the house, if you’re not gonna play, you wuss. Afraid you’re
gonna get some germs on you? GO inside and find the bacteria wipes
for your diaper rash, you baby.

(hits the ball to his brother, winces)

Catch the ball!!!!!!Do not cry to mom. You’re fine. Seriously, don’t even
think of crying, Just stay out here ok. I’ll help you.

(wipes the ball off)

OK, it’s clean. Ish. No micro whatever you call ‘em. Now try again. I
am doing you a favor. Come on, try it once. (throws ball) Well, you
didn’t flinch as much that time. Now pick the ball up and throw it
back to me. You can do it.

(Ball is coming at him. He must duck.)

You didn’t have to throw it that hard. Hey, you threw the ball hard.
And you didn’t throw up! Dude, you aren’t going to grow up to be a
loser. Now catch this you twit,

(Throws as hard as he can one last time )

16
Germs # 2
A boy with a glove holding a baseball as if it was glass. Or holding a
baseball bat as id it is poison. I am doing this. I am holding the ball. I
am doing this. I am going to make the team. I am doing this. (The boy
tosses the ball in the air repeatedly) I am catching this ball. There are
no pathogenic microorganisms on this ball that can harm me. There
are no filamentous organisms on this ball that can infect me. (boy stops
tossing the ball) Yeah Jake I am gonna throw the ball just give me a
sec, I can throw the ball. I will throw the ball just like I practiced with
mom.. (Deep breath) Ok Jake, get ready. . (throws the ball) Wow.
Sorry Jake. Does it hurt? Good! (sees the ball coming back at him) 18
No, don’t throw it back. It might have mutant bacteria on it! (ducks)
I can pick the baseball up. I can do it. (He almost does it. Then runs
of stage.)

17
In the Classroom
Group Project #1
(Author’s note: This doesn’t need to be played aggressive or snarky.
Think of it as the character giving this speech as a sign of defeat, a loss of
hope.)

(student hands out pieces of paper to each student

as he/she speaks)

I have contracts prepared for all of you. As you can seem in item 1, line
2, I agree to do 90 percent of the work for this group project, because,
well, we have known each other since fifth grade and let’s not pretend
anymore. However, as noted in line 5, we still will all give each other
tens on our group self evaluations saying that we all contributed
equally. in a positive and productive manner

I will have this project done by 6 o’clock tonight. I will do the research.
I will create the prezi...and But because I would rather die than speak
in front of 30 students who couldn’t care less about what I am saying,
you three will present the material. Zane will open with some gross
joke that will get everybody’s attention and may or may not get him
kicked out of class. Jason will present the main ideas because you’re
intelligent but don’t want to put effort into anything in your life, and
Mandy will answer follow up questions, because, well, it’s the one thing
you should be able to do.

18
All each of you has to do is look at my presentation before class
Thursday and be familiar with the information. Please do not sound
like a robot when you present it or stare at the screen like it’s the first
time you have ever seen the words because the Salem Witch Trials
really are fascinating and relevant to the mob mentality in today’s
society.

(dead silence. Student sighs)

Just sign the contracts so we can all go to lunch, ok?

19
Group Project #2
(A girl goes to the front of the classroom with a
large cardboard box.She also has index cards for
her speech.)

Hi. I am Lisa. New girl. No one invited me to be in their group project.

Mr. Holmes wanted us in groups of four. We have 24 students in this
class...(does math) 6x 4 ...nope, somehow I am still in my own group
and no one noticed (beat)All week. (beat) Mr. Holmes. So I will be
presenting the history of the cherry by myself. Yeah. So here I go.

Origins of the cherry. Cherries are stone fruits. This means they are
related to plums, peaches and nectarines. They also were found in the
Stone Age. Well in the Stone Age there were cherry pits-pits were
found in Stone Age caves not a lot of them I think, but you know,
some. In Europe. I can just imagine the first caveman having a spitting
contest.

(Puts a pit in her mouth and spits it hitting

someone, then makes an ape like noise. No laughs.
Flips index card and moves on.)

World record for a spit of is 95 feet, 9 inches. Don’t think that broke
any records.

A Roman general Lucullus brought cherries to Italy around 74 B.C.

Some myths even tell of the old soldier committing suicide when he
realized his supply of the sweet treat had lapsed.

20
(Awkward laugh, flips to another index card. Changes her look by adding
glasses or a scarf to portray the second person in her group project.)

Part 2 Agricultural information. Cherries are grown in several regions

(going into a “Bubba Gump moment).Bing Cherries, Rainier Cherries.
Queen (Royal) Anne Cherries. .Montmorency Cherries. ...Morello
Cherries.

A cherry tree can produce about 700 cherries and about 100 pounds
of cherries in a season an America produces almost 700 million pounds
a year.

A man named Peter Doughtery is often given credit for bringing

cherries to Michigan where there is a National Cherry Festival that
celebrates the cherry every year,

( Adds a hat or wig to become person number 3.

Flips index card.)

Okay now for the audience participation part of my (air quotes) group
project.

Which of the following states does NOT produce tart cherries? a.

Wisconsin b. Utah c. Alaska d. Michigan

Seriously? Alaska.

Cherries grow on which type of plant? a. a tree b. a bush c.

underground d. a vine

(no reaction)

21
Yeah I can see how this is a tough one.

(Tosses away index cards. Makes one final

costume change.)

SO...anyway... for the visual portion of this speech , I created one

hundred cherry blossoms out of tissue paper. Okay you’re right. My
mom made them. Because this is a group project. (She starts throwing
them at students, probably a little too hard, then exits,)

22
Quiz Bowl #1
Jacob, sitting in a chair, has a buzzer in his hand,
but is staring off into space. He suddenly snaps to
life and hits his buzzer.
JACOB
If 40% of a given number is 16, then 15% of the given number is 6.
Also the number of holes in the ceiling tile are 5,162.
(he listens to the question ,hits buzzer)
The man who pioneered work in gases and isolated the element boron
was Lussac.
(Let’s go a fart)
Not that kind of gas,though
(laughs, goes back to daydreaming, then leaps to attention)
Wait.
(Hits the buzzer)
The Headless Horseman!Yes!! I got a literature question right.I beat
you to the buzzer, Maddie! It was written in 1819 and has been made
into many bad movie adaptations and Tv series.
(Pulls turtleneck over his head, gallops as
horseman. Pulls turtleneck down.)
And that means we win! Because of me!
( Pulls turtleneck back up and gallops some more.)
Oh. Sorry, I thought that was the last question.
(Jacob sits down and goes back to daydreaming.)

23
Quiz Bowl #2
MADDIE

Can you come here? Yes, you. Come here. That was a good match. I
thought you guys were going to win. I mean we’ve never beaten you
guys. And that last question. I mean who thought Jacob would get that
question right? Jacob, Mr. I count all the tiles on the ceiling while
solving calculus in my head gets the answer first? Who wrote about a
headless horseman? I should have gotten that. A third grader could’ve
gotten that. Jacob. He’s the ‘rain man”. He doesn’t read novels. He
plays Fortnite and Legos and farts a lot in class but there he is prancing
at the podium pretending he’s Ichabod Crane. But at least my team
finally beat you guys, right?

And that picture you took of Jacob? The judge and your coach may
not have seen you do that, but I did. No matter how annoying he is to
you, Jacob is my teammate and you are not going to hurt him. So I am
not going to see that picture on snapchat, instagram, or whatever cool
social media thing someone creates in the next six months. Right? Nod
your head. Your friends are watching. Oh yeah, and you’re going to
want to tell your friends they aren’t going to post anything either. Your
friends’ friends aren’t even going to post anything. Now ask me why.
Good question. Look at this angelic face. Think about my perfect GPA
,and my scholarship awards for community service. No one will ever
believe you when you’re outraged by the seriously heinous things I will
accuse you of on my youtube channel if you do anything to hurt Jacob.
But…good game.

24
(Author’s note: This can also be done as a scene between two actors as shown
in the following script.)

25
Quiz Bowl Scene
(Two competitors, MADDIE and ANDREW are
standing in a hall. .Maddie is holding a trophy.)

MADDIE

Hi. (tries again) Andrew. (flirting)Hi. Come here

ANDREW

What?

MADDIE

I was just going to say good match.

ANDREW

Right.

MADDIE

I thought you guys were going to win. I mean we’ve never beaten you
guys.

ANDREW

I know.

MADDIE

That last question, I mean who thought Jacob would get that question
right?

26
 ANDREW

Exactly

MADDIE

I mean I should’ve gotten the answer to that one easy. You guys
should’ve gotten the answer to that one easy. A third grader could have
gotten that answer.

ANDREW

Got it. We’re all idiots.

(turns to leave,Maddie stops him,flirting some

more)

MADDIE

No. No. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just so weird. How did Jacob
know the answer? He’s the Rain Man. He doesn’t read novels. He plays
Fortnite and Legos. He’s just so weird and annoying.

ANDREW

So annoying.

MADDIE

He’s only on our team for math. And because Mr. Jensen said we had
to.

27
 ANDREW

That sucks. (ANDREW chuckles a little. Does an imitation of Jacob.)

The number is 3954 times the square root of infinity.

MADDIE

That was pretty good.

ANDREW

Yeah. I was heading down to the cafeteria/ for

MADDIE

You know, I saw what you did in there.

ANDREW

What?

MADDIE

The judge may not have, your coach may not have, but I did.

ANDREW

I can send it to you,no prob.

MADDIE

No you won’t. Because no matter how annoying he is to you, Jacob is

my teammate and you are not going to hurt him.

28
 ANDREW

Seriously? He won’t care. He won’t even know.

MADDIE

So I am not going to see that picture on snapchat, instagram, or

whatever cool social media thing someone creates in the next six
months. Right? Nod your head.Your friends are watching. Oh yeah,
and you’re going to want to tell your friends they aren’t going to post
anything either.Your friends friends aren’t even going to post anything.
Now ask me why.

ANDREW

Why?

MADDIE

Look at this sweet. innocent, and well, adorable face. No one would
ever believe you when you try to tell them about all the seriously
heinous things I will do to destroy you if you do anything to hurt
Jacob. Would you like to know what some of those things are?

ANDREW

No.

MADDIE

Ok, but they do involve a lot of photoshopping and some very

inappropriate behavior that could get you kicked off the team. Maybe
even suspended from school.See you next tournament.

(Maddie saunters off)

29
Scores #1
STUDENT

(holding a piece of paper in hands)

Yes, look at this, Miss Waters.Can you believe this? 1.2.5.0. 1250! I
did it this time! Yes, that scholarship is going to be mine. 300 points.
You said I could do it. Finally.I did it.My score went up 300 points.
Who cares if it took three tries? 1250 Golden Wings Scholarship is all
mine. First one to graduate college in my family? ME.

(long pause, sits down)

Why are you looking at me that way? There’s a question about that
score? What’s the question? Why I didn’t get a 1500? Maybe next time.
Except no way am I going to take that test again.

(beat)

Who doesn’t believe me? The principal? Who at the testing company
doesn’t believe me? Have they talked to my mom? Cuz she saw me
study.She helped me study. She didn’t understand what I was studying,
but she would stay up with me while I was studying. Bake me cookies
while I was studying. Make up songs to help me remember stuff.My
mom can tell anybody you want how much I studied. And she will. In
colorful language they will not appreciate.

So ”they” are calling me a cheater. Just because I improved my score?

I improved my score too much? Really?(pause) Or is there some other
reason they aren’t saying? You can say it. It’s all over your face. You’re

30
thinking it just like me. My name sounds funny maybe? My address
isn’t where the geniuses live ? This school isn’t known for its scholars?
I know they aren’t saying that, but is that what they mean? Know
anyone else around here getting their score challenged?No?

I did everything I was supposed to.Sure, I screwed around freshman

year. And half of my sophomore year. But then I finally started to
believe the “P” word everybody kept throwing around.

“She has so much potential, but she doesn’t use it.”

“She could really be something if she tried.”

So I tried and I tried and now a 1250 means I don’t have potential. I
am just a cheater.

(rips up paper and exits)

31
Scores #2
(Athlete enters classroom, carrying several hefty textbooks)

I need a tutor. I know I am not on your list. But I still need a tutor.
Yeah, McCleary is my instructor. But I am asking to get transferred
out of there so I can actually learn something in a real class. Which
means I need help. Which means I need tutoring.

I know I have an A in his class. Everyone has an A in his class. You

know why, right? A third of the hockey team and half the basketball
team is in that class. Connect the dots. Yeah,I got a scholarship and I
am gonna keep it. The right way.So I am transferring to another
section of economics so I can actually understand opportunity cost and
comparative advantage. Which is why I need a tutor. Ok? Thank you.

32
It’s never about the things I know #1
(Authors’ note : these monologues can be done separately or students can be
on stage, trapped in the some classroom,clock ticking loudly, and all taking
the same test and taking turns saying their lines.)

Student could be breaking pencils muttering to himself.

Which one of these is not a building material you uncover with your
pickaxe in fortnite A) Trees B) Cars C) skyscraper

I would know the answer to that.

When you harvest materials in Fortnite you can make...

A.walls B ramps C.Platforms D.All of the above .

I may not know about polynomials or chemistry or parallel structure.

But I do know stuff.So make these tests about the things I know.

33
It’s never about the things I know, #2
Girl is trying to focus on her test .She keeps
drifting off to sleep. Wakes back up with a start.

It’s never about the things I know. Like how to make macaroni cheese
a hundred different ways for five brothers and sisters every single
night.Let me write an essay about that.

It’s never about how to teach your little brother not to pee in the street
.At home in the backyard, fine. Not in the street during the Fourth of
July parade. I should teach that in health class. And it’s never about
how to pretend you’re not completely embarrassed when it’s
happening.Let me teach that in drama class.

Nope. I don’t see how learning the distribution of an exponent with

multiple bases is helping me with my life right now.

( She falls back to sleep.)

34
It’s never about the things I know #3
(student has finished the test some time ago.

Student is bored doodling on the desk. Looking

around wishing for others to hurry up and finish.)

It’s always about the things I know. When the teacher does a seating
chart, everyone asks to sit next to me. When the teachers says, “See
three before me”, it’s really just

(pointing at herself.) “see me.” Gazing over my shoulder, breathing on

me when they have Dorito breath, grabbing my paper with germy
hands. I wanted to have a boyfriend, finally, so I “helped” Greg now
and then. But then his friends wanted answers. And then his friends’
girlfriends all wanted to be in a study group with me. And lunch
buddies with me and wanted me to join their”special” chat - Mean
cheat- group.So today, I have made a decision.I think every answer on
this test is “c”. I am sure of it.

(Author’s note This is where a fun writing prompt could come in handy
and students can actually add to the play by writing their own monologue
on something that reflects “It’s never about the things I know” from their
own life and perform it. )

35
That’s Not a Sport
( An ACTOR and an ATHLETE meet in the
center of the stage as if they are ready to duke it
out. They may circle each other like opponents.
Feel free to use a bell as a sound effect when one
wins a “point.”)

ATHLETE

Theatre is not a sport.

ACTOR

Do you really want to do this again?

ATHLETE

Yeah. I’ve been practicing. I’m ready.

ACTOR

Really? Ok. You start.

ATHLETE

Theater is not a sport.

ACTOR

Sure it is. You were a uniform right?

ATHLETE

Yeah.

36
 ACTOR

I wear a costume.

ATHLETE

Not the same.

ACTOR

Can you go on the field without your uniform?

ATHLETE

No.

ACTOR

I can’t go on stage without a costume.Do you perform in front of a

crowd?

ATHLETE

Yeah.

ACTOR

Me too.Do you practice every day?

ATHLETE

Yeah.

ACTOR

Me too.

37
 ATHLETE

Sports are physical. I train my body. Lift weights. I run. I have to be

coordinated. Aggressive.

ACTOR

Dance uses muscles .My vocal chord are muscles.(Sings a high note) I
train my muscles ( does a dance move or a fight pose.) How many
minutes do you play in a game?

ATHLETE

Depends.

ACTOR

90 minutes. Every performance, twice on Saturday.

ATHLETE

The point of a sport is to WIN. How many games did you win?

ACTOR

How many games did you win?

ATHLETE

Well...a few.

ACTOR

Sold out performances and standing O’s every night.That’s a win.

38
 ATHLETE

That is not a win.

ACTOR

It’s is so a win.

________(Band member enters in full gear carrying an instrument.

Athlete and drama student roll their eyes..
MARCHING BAND STUDENT

Marching band.THAT is a sport.

ATHLETE and ACTOR

We’re not going to do this again.

Athlete and Actor exit.

MARCHING BAND STUDENT

Right. Run away. You know the truth. You can’t march through mud
for two hours carrying a thirty-five pound instrument every morning
so you can perform fifteen minutes on Friday night just so the football
players can take a break. And we never get to run offstage for a costume
change and we don’t have understudies because we show up unless we
are dead.

( If doing this is as a play, the marching band

student can start to play music - maybe badly -
and that can serve as a signal for a curtain call to
bring the cast out.)

39
Bonus Chapter: Spare scenes
Spare scenes or open ended scenes that take simple dialogue and let
students create the context through props, action and intentions.These
brief scenes can be used by students to create their own scene that can
be added to the script above or used in class for an acting exercise. The
scenarios can involve test scores, gaming, extreme sports,chess,etc.

Scene 1

Character 1
I call that a win.

Character 2
How is that a win?

Character 1
Because it’s not about the score.

Character 2
Are you kidding me? It’s always about the score.

Character 1
Not this time.

Character 2
Why not?

Character 1
We did something that has never been done before.

40
Character 2
And that’s a good thing?

Character 1
Yes.Because we were victorious. In life.

Character 2
You’re sure about that?

Character 1
Yes.

Character 2
People will talk about us for years.

Character 1
In a good way?

Character 2
That is not important.

41
Spare scene 2

Character 1
Why did you try it?

Character 2
Because I could.

Character 1
But it didn’t work.

Character 2
But it could have.

Character 1
But it didn’t.

Character 2
Not this time.

Character 1
Next time?

Character 2
Exactly. Next time.

Character 1
You don’t know that.

42
Character 2
You don’t know that I won’t.

Character 1
Okay, I’ll say it.

Character 2
Go ahead.

Character 1
You’re never going to do that.

Character 2
You don’t know that.

Character 1
I am looking at you right now. It seems pretty unlikely.

Character 2
Which means I might.

43
Scene 3

Character 1
That’s a great score!

Character 2
For you. For you, that’s a great score

Character 1
What are saying?

Character 2
You know what I am saying.

Character 1
Yeah,but you don’t need to say it like that. I am happy with this score.

Character 2
You should be.

Character 1
But you wouldn’t be?

Character 2
Of course not.

Character 1
Most people would be happy with this score.

44
Character 2
I know.

Character 1
You would never be happy with that score?

Character 2
Of course. I could be happy with that score.

Character 1
When?

Character 2’
When I am sick. With a 101 degree temperature. And I haven’t slept
or eaten in three days. And I am depressed because my dog died and
my girlfriend left me. Then I would be happy.

Character 1:
So then you admit it’s a good score.

45
Spare Scene 4:

Character 1
What if I don’t make it?

Character 2
You’ll make it.

Character 1
No, I always mess it up.

Character 2
Not this time.

Character 1
You’re right.

Character 2
Of course I am right.

Character 1
So do you want to do it with me?

Character 2
Are you kidding? I would never do that.

46
Scene 5

Character 1
I am glad we did that.

Character 2
You are?

Character 1
Sure. Aren’t you?

Character 2
I’m not sure yet.

Character 1
You were amazing.

Character 2
I was? It didn’t feel amazing.

Character 1
But it was.

Character 2
Then why do I feel like I am gonna puke?

Character 1
Because you were amazing.

Character 2
I don’t think that’s it.

47
Scene 6

Character 1
I have never seen that before.

Character 2
Me either

Character 1
I didn’t think anyone could do that.

Character 2
Me either.

Character 1
Why would you want to do that?

Character 2
I have no idea.

Character 1
How do you even practice to do that?

Character 2
I don’t know. It’s so disturbing.We should go.

Character 1
Are you crazy?I could watch this for hours.

48
Character 2
Let’s go.

Character 1
I dare you to look away.

Character 2
I can’t.

Character 1
Exactly.

49
Spare scene 7

Character 1
Are you going to try it?

Character 2:
Yeah, sure.

Character 1
Why?

Character 2
Because you’re doing it.

Character 1
That’s a terrible reason.

Character 2
: It is?

Character 1
Yes. I don’t know what I am doing.

Character 2
But everyone thinks you do.

Character 1
Why?

50
Character 2
Because they believe in you.They trust you.

Character 1
That’s their problem,

Character 2
So are you doing it or not?

Character 1
No.

Character 2
Then neither will I.

Character 1
Stop that.

(Character 1 begins to exit.)

Character 2
So does that mean you think I should try it?

51
Spare Scene #8

Character 1
It was so close.

Character 2
Not that close.

Character 1
If I had another second.

Character 2
Not if you had another hour.

Spare scene #9

Character 1: I forgot to bring it.

Character 2: How could you forget to bring it?

Character 1: I wasn’t sure we really needed it.

Character 2: How could we do this without it?

Character 1
I thought we could use something else.

Character 2
Like what?

Character 1
Like this.

52
Character 2
Ok that’ll work

Character 1
It will?

53
Spare Scene 10

Character 1: Should we try it?

Character 2: Try what?

Character 1: You don’t see it?

Character 2: No.

Character 1: Are you sure? Because I think we should try it.

Character 2: There’s nothing there.

Character 1: Come on. Get a little closer.

Character 2: Oh! Oh, I didn’t need to see that.

Character 1: It’s not that bad.

Character 2: Well, I am not going to try that.

54
Bonus Chapter: Monologue lesson plan
“Clouds” a mentor text lesson developed by Kris Rasmussen
Inspired by Nikki Giovanni

“Clouds” by Nikki Giovanni

I want to swim with hippos
Jump with salmon
Fly with geese
Land with robins
Walk with turtles
Sleep with possums
Dress with penguins
Preen with peacocks
Fish with grizzlies
Hunt with lions
Forage with pigs for truffles
Eat nuts with squirrels
Plant seeds with the wind
And ride off on the clouds
At the end

55
DISCUSSION:

I invite my students to discuss what they notice about the poem: the
choice of animals, the structure of the poem beginning mainly with
action words ( Isn’t it a different action to swim with a hippo than swim
with a dolphin? To walk with a turtle versus walk with a dog? Salmon
jump upstream…. What might that suggest about the author?)

I also ask them why a poem about animals is called “Clouds”. Usually
someone will get to the idea that we often have looked at a cloud and
seen an object or animal in it.

How to write a monologue from a mentor text

In the past I have used this poem in English during National Poetry
Month. My students have usually done a couple of other poems from
a mentor text before they try this. However, it is easy enough to start
with this as well, explaining that you want the students to try to imitate
the structure of the poem, not necessarily the idea. They do not have
to use animals in this poem, for example, but can pick other objects
and actions that represent them.

Then I share some former students’ work that also wraps around a
specific topic.

56
Sample #1

I want to shoot like Curry

Jump like Lebron
Fly like Jordan
Fadeaway like Kobe
Run with D.Wade
Pass like Rondo
Score like Durant
Dunk like Russell
Dribble like Irving
And win the championship at the end!

Another example I give my students takes an approach from a Disney

princess point of view.

Sample #2

I want to sing like Ariel

Fight like Mulan
Read as many books as Belle
Be loyal like Anna and Elsa
Humble like Cinderella
Talk to animals like Snow White
Have hair like Rapunzel -or maybe Merida
And not need a prince to rescue me at the end.

57
From these samples, students can write their own poems/monologues
centered on a theme: favorite Broadway characters, favorite Broadway
actors, other sports, other goals (hit a certain musical note,etc. )

Want to go to the next level and put these pieces of art into a
performance?When a group of students has finished their pieces than
can be spliced together into a script with each student taking turns
saying a line.

Example

Student 1:
I want to shoot like Curry

Student 2:
Sing like Ariel

Student 3:
Hit a high F like Idina

Student 4
Score as many goals as Pele

Student 5
Love my family like Morticia

You get the idea. As a group, they can come up with a closing line that
they can all say together at the end such as “Be victorious at the end.”
Or “Be a hero to all at the end” Or “ Was not afraid to reach for my
dreams at the end.” Again, you get the idea. This can be a classroom

58
exercise OR this exercise could provide a great ensemble piece to close
out the scenes and monologues in this book if you do them as a one
act play.

59
Bonus Lesson Plan: “Where I’m From”
Where I’m From by George Ella Lyon

I am from clothespins, from Clorox and carbon tetrachloride.

I am from the dirt under the back porch. (Black, glistening it tasted like
beets.)

I am from the forsythia bush, the Dutch elm whose long gone limbs I
remember as if they were my own.

I’m from fudge and eyeglasses, from Imogene and Alafair.

I’m from the know-it-alls and the pass-it-ons, from perk up and pipe down.
I’m from He restoreth my soul with a cotton ball lamb and ten verses I can
say myself.

I’m from Artemus and Billie’s Branch, fried corn and strong coffee.

From the finger my grandfather lost to the auger the eye my father shut to
keep his sight.

Under my bed was a dress box spilling old pictures, a sift of lost faces to
drift beneath my dreams.

I am from those moments– snapped before I budded– leaf-fall from the

family tree.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

60
This poem has been used by English teachers for many years as a
writing prompt. The objective is to reveal personality through objects,
smells, tastes, relationships.

Instead of going too in depth here in how to teach the prompt, you
can find many templates.lessons and student samples that help with
the teaching of this poem online. Here are just a few links.

https://www.sausd.us/cms/lib/CA01000471/Centricity/Domain/304
3/I%20Am%20From%20Poem.pdf

http://asms.psd202.org/documents/jrossi/1510234129.pdf

https://hslibguides.leanderisd.org/WhereImFrom

When I was teaching a drama class at a summer program, I decided to

flip the lesson a bit and work this as a monologue exercise that could
become a group theater piece. Students did not need to write
something as long as the original poem. We would focus on one sense
at a time:

If students are having a hard time with the template, just give them
simple prompts for their topic. Ask, “What’s one food you always
associate with ______?” or “What’s one thing you always hear at
_______?” What’s something someone has always told you ?”

Let’s continue with the theme of competition for a few examples.

61
Example:
I am from gutbusters and two a days

Example:
I am from 8 and 8’s
And “Dress Right Dress”

Example:
I am from “Why can’t you be more like _____?” And “You can’t do
that.”

When students have completed their poems, lines from their poems
can be blended into a group piece in the same way as the “Clouds”
lesson.

Students can end their poem performance together with a line

something like “ I am from these moments that have made me who I
am today. “

Again, this could be an opener to the above monologues if you are

using them as a one act play.

62
Bonus Monologues
HOMESCHOOLED ( featured in the S & K Best of 2019
anthology) by Kris Rasmussen

(Alissa,17, is in a meeting with a college admissions officer who is

questioning her ability to handle “regular” school at a prestigious
university. She makes one last case for why she is a superior candidate.)

ALISSA

Yes, I have been homeschooled my entire life, though I prefer the term
independently educated. Independently educated doesn’t tend to
conjure up images of socially awkward, poorly dressed children who
are being raised in a military bunker or in some type of commune. My
SAT score is 1350. I have passed three advanced placement courses. I
didn’t accomplish all of that by calling a walk in the backyard my
science project. I speak two other languages because I have gone on
missions trips since I was five. Hablo dos idiomas español y francés
(Beat)Je suis plus intelligent que toi.

(deep breath)you. Bingewatching the series every Thanksgiving…and

Christmas…. and on her birthday… is just a bonus…and I could stop
any time I want. I really can.The bottom line is this. I am an
independent thinker because my school experience was not formed by
being locked in a room six hours a day having to ask someone else when
I can pee. I haven’t been trained by a bell to move from here to there.
And when was the last time you had a scholarship candidate in your
office who could look you in the eye, carry on a conversation and not

63
feel anxious because I can’t text somebody right now? (beat) Exactly.
Any other questions?

64
Scores

Student sitting in a study session in a library)

Why do I need a tutor? I never had a tutor in high school. 3.3 grade
average baby. Full scholarship to this school and I am starting the
football team as a freshman. Why I gotta sit here and wait on some
special tutor who doesn’t know how to be on time? If I was late to
practice coach would have me doing laps.Someone needs to make this
tutor do some laps. But I’m not going to lose my scholarship, so I am
going sit here and wait so this tutor can fix my essay which has comma
splices. I don’t know what comma splices are so how I am supposed to
fix them?

(Flips through a book while waiting)

Last book I read... sheeeeeesh.. 7th grade. “The Outsiders” and now I
gotta read all

this? By next Thursday? There better be an audiobook. Or the tutor

better start reading this for me cuz I am not losing this scholarship.
Write a book tutoring for dummies.

(Stops. Notices tutor has entered.)

Oh. You’re finally here. You’ve got a lot of work to do.

65
Pencils and Pens

I need a pencil. You have a dozen pencils, right there. Come on, you
just gave one to Morgan. Yes, I’ll share my chips with you next time.
Okay, I’ll buy you a huge bag. A highlighter? I don’t want a highlighter.
I need a pencil. Come on math warm up is half over. Now you give
one to Sammy? You hate Sammy. Not as much as me? What did I do-
--never mind. Could you at least let me borrow one of your glittery
neon gel thingys? Yes, give me the hot pink. I don’t care. ( Shakes it) It
doesn’t work. Give me another one quick.

(beat)

Hi, Ms. Leonard. Do you have a pencil?

66
Sleepover Take 1

Please get back in the car. Get out of here before everyone sees you No,
I am not leaving. It’s a weekend sleepover. The whole weekend.. I’m
not lying. Why can’t stay? It’s warm here ok? They have real food. Not
out of box or a can.. I get to just hang out, no drama.

I asked Angela if I could stay longer. Told her you’ve been super sick.
You already sent David over to Aunt Cecille’s so he doesn’t get it, She
said no big deal. Her mom’s cool wit it too.

He needs to leave, mom. I told you what happened. Why is he still

there’? I don’t think I will come back until.... He is gone. All the way
gone. No sleepovers, he doesn’t have a key.

Otherwise, you leave me here, Maybe I’ll have to tell people stuff.
Maybe I won’t come back - ever.

Choose me, mom. Or don’t.

Sleepover (take 2)

( packing a backpack)

Third time this month. Not the same guy, but still, third time this
month. I am running out of friends who will let me stay with me. Can’t
ask Marisa. She let me stay at her house while she and her family went
to see “Hamilton” in Chicago. I had a refrigerator of food that wasn’t
past the expiration date and satellite TV and a bed that didn’t smell
like pee.

67
I don’t want to ask Allie because last time....her brother...wanted to try
to play a little too much.

If I ask Kenzie...her mom is nosy. She’ll ask too many questions.

Maybe I won’t come back this time. See how long it takes her to figure
it out.

68